All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S09E19.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-CtrlHD

*BOB'S BURGERS*
Season 09 Episode 19

Episode Title:
"Long Time Listener, First Time Bob"

Sync corrections by srjanapala

I think Dad's still
in a bad mood.

What tipped you off?
The way his mustache is twitching?

It looks like a weird
little dog having a nightmare.

All right,
we're going bowling.

Having fun tonight.
Right, Bob?

- Mm-hmm.
- Forgetting our troubles.

Not thinking about
that dumb magazine

- and the list we didn't get on.
- Mm-hmm.

And she mentioned the list.

"Best Burgers on the Shore"?
What a joke.

Bob, it's just a list.

- Who cares?
- I do!

- But you always say lists are stupid.
- They are.

Even grocery lists?

They remind us to buy pudding.

Dad, if the list is stupid,
why do you want to be on it?

Because it would be
good for business, Tina.

- Oh, yeah, you're a business.
- But, of course,

every restaurant they picked
is some new, trendy place.

And they all serve dumb,
trendy sweet potato fries.

- Here we go.
- Yeah, Tina, here we do go.

Sweet potato fries
are too sweet,

and they're stupid,
and I hate them.

Mom and her hot son
like sweet potato fries.

I-I like them, too.

Have you tried regular fries,
anyone?

Because they're delicious,
and they have the perfect combination

of crunch and
saltiness,

- and-and-and...
- Bob. Bob,

- calm down.
- No, Dad, keep going.

- This is good stuff.
- We know how you feel.

But just for the record,
you asked me to order

- 50 pounds of sweet potatoes, right?
- Yes.

And we're gonna add
sweet potato fries to the menu, right?

Yes, because apparently,
We have to make these trendy fries

so the list
people will like us.

Okay. Hey,
look we're here.

- Bobby, you like bowling, right?
- Hm.

Or is that me?
Crap, it's me.

Ugh, do all of the shoes have

a used Kleenex in them? J
ust mine?

- Brag.
- All right,

this is your favorite
lane announcer here

to let the Belcher family know

they're cleared for
takeoff on lane three.

Wait a second.
I-I recognize that voice.

- Gary Busey?
- Watch your toes when you bowl.

Now here's some nasty
rock and roll.

Oh, my God.
That's Clem Clements.

Clem whoozit?

Clem Clements was
the late night disc jockey on WIXU.

I-I used to listen to him when
I'd work late in the restaurant,

back when we first opened

and things were
a little touch and go.

- How far we've come.
- Clem had this slogan...

This is Clem Clements
coming at you

with no plan
and no BS.

He talked a lot.
He played, like, whole album sides.

He did the show his way,

which was inspiring.

Huh. So what's he doing
working at a bowling alley?

- Maybe we should ask him.
- I'm gonna do it.

- How-how do I look?
- Like a sad man with one bowling shoe on.

And did you do something
new with your butt?

Excuse me, Mr. Clements?

Uh, my name's Bob.
I-I'm a big fan.

I never thought
I'd see you here.

I never thought
I'd be here.

Spraying bowling shoes,
for God's sake.

But you spray them
more than that, right?

- Just wondering.
- So what happened?

Why aren't you
on the radio anymore?

Eh, the industry
went to crap.

First, they wanted me
to play songs that were

- "radio friendly."
- On the radio?

Yep. I refused.

Then they wanted me
to give out prizes on the air.

I refused that, too.

But prizes are
kind of fun.

Yeah. I never do anything
unless there's a prize.

Kids, the kind of
listeners that can be bought

with a T-shirt
and bumper stickers

are the kind you don't want.

Oh... Stickers.

Anyway, they fired me and
switched to a no-DJ format.

- No DJ?
- Yeah, a computer-generated play-list

and prerecorded station I.D.'s.

- They call it the 'Tude.
- Ugh.

After that, I got a job offer at
a dinky little 40-watt station.

WOFD. But I've got my pride, so...

- So here you are.
- Here I am.

Look at us, being here.

Well, thanks for assigning
a lane to us.

- Which lane was it again?
- You're on lane three.

Oh. Uh, I know on the radio
you didn't take requests,

- but could we request lane one? It's...
- No.

That's fine. We'll take any lane.

You're listening to the 'Tude.

Don't like it? Crack open
a can of "we don't care."

Ugh, they fired Clem
for this?

I thought they were switching
to no DJs. Isn't that a DJ?

Yeah. He's a made-up
character called Eddie 'Tude.

He has quite the attitude.

Oh, I just got the name.

He's obnoxious, and the music is awful.

But besides that,
it's pretty good.

So what can I get you?

I'll take
a Burger of the Day and, uh,

some of those
new sweet potato fries.

- Mm.
- Bob...

You like regular fries,
right?

Get the regular fries.

My doctor said
sweet potato fries

are better for you,
actually.

Since when do you listen to
your doctor?

- What?
- Yogurt's better for you, too, Teddy.

Do you want yogurt fries?

No. I-I like sweet potato fries.
What are yogurt fries?

Don't try to serve me
yogurt fries.

Sorry, I can't do this,
Lin.

Sweet potato fries are
officially off the menu.

Okay, okay. Take it easy.
It's just fries.

You know what?
I-I'm gonna call the bowling alley.

I-I want to bring Clem
some lunch.

The universe sent him
to that bowling alley,

and then it sent me
to that bowling alley

so he could remind me to
stick to my guns about fries.

Uh, permission to go with Dad
to see how his freak-out goes?

All of you, go.
Keep your dad calm.

Say things like,
"Dad, chill out,"

and, "Tone it down, old man."

How about
"It's all gravy, baby"?

I'll bring him a burger
and some regular fries.

Yeah, you do that.

You think I could still get

some of those
sweet potato fries, Lin?

Wait till
the scary man leaves.

Mm. Mm.
Thanks, Bob.

You know, the station
manager used to yell at me

for doing the show
with my mouth full.

Yeah, but you did it anyway.
It was cool and-and gross.

- Like neti pots.
- He's also the guy

who fired me and told me
nobody wants to listen to a DJ

who talks too much and
plays whatever he wants.

Well, I want to listen.
And I can't be the only one.

I mean, my kids want
to listen. Right, kids?

I do. I like this guy's style.

I hope I've burned half as
many bridges when I'm his age.

I want to listen, too.

What's radio again?

Tell this stuff
to my station manager.

You know what? I will.
I-I'll call the station.

Eh, I don't think
you can even reach

a real live person anymore.

Then I'll go there. I'll go right now.

Station manager's not there
today.

Okay, tomorrow, then?
I mean, I'm pretty fired up now,

but I could get fired up
again tomorrow, probably.

- Sure you could, Dad.
- Ask your doctor if it's safe

for you to get fired
up two days in a row.

Know what?
I'll go with you tomorrow.

Uh, r-really? Uh, great.

I want to see the look on
Vance's face

when he meets a real live fan.

It'll be like this.

"Turn off that fan!
It's too windy in here!"

So you're just showing
up at the radio station?

- Is that the plan?
- Well, yeah, we'll march in there

and tell the station
manager he made a mistake

throwing away something
pure and raw

for something trendy
and not raw.

And we'll get Clem
his job back.

Probably not.
But we can hope.

- Come on, kids.
- Well, while you do that,

I'm gonna be back here
pushing pie.

"We sell pie now?"
I ask hopefully.

Yeah, we got to do something
with all these sweet potatoes.

So many frickin'
sweet potatoes, Bob.

I'm sorry.
But I'm glad they're pies.

Sweet potatoes like
to be pies.

They were born
to be dessert.

All right, we get it. Go.

Tell the pies I'll be back.
Wait for me. Wait for me!

Clem, hi.

Hey. Thanks for this, Bob.
You're cool.

Oh, my God, Clem Clements
just called me cool.

- You heard "cool"?
- I heard "stool."

That's a weird ice cream
truck. No judgment.

Ugh. The 'Tude Cruiser.

It used to be for
live broadcasts.

Now it's for giving
away T-shirts at malls.

Ooh. I mean,
grr, T-shirts at malls.

You know, we could just light
it on fire and call it a day.

Dad, hear him out.

Uh, maybe we should just
stick to the other plan.

Nuh-uh. No plan, no BS.

Right. I mean,
our non-plan plan.

Let's, uh, just go inside?

Hey, Mort. You want a
slice of sweet potato pie?

Ah, I don't know.
What do you say, Teddy?

- Is it worth the calories?
- It sure looks good.

Mm.

- Huh.
- Teddy?

I'm sorry, Linda.
The pie is terrible.

What do you mean, "terrible"?

I think it needs more sugar.

Sugar? I didn't add any sugar.

Sweet potatoes are already
sweet. It's in the name.

Huh.

And I was out of cinnamon
and a couple other things.

I improvised. Like jazz,
but it's a pie.

Let me try.

I think it's...

It's not totally...

I'm sorry, it's awful.

So, big deal. You messed up one pie.

Ten. I messed up ten pies.

Oof. You messed up ten pies?

Hey, on the bright side, maybe
that's a record of some sort?

It's got to be, right?
Look it up, Mort.

Pretending to look it up,

wishing I hadn't come in here
today.

So, let me get
this straight, Clem.

You're rolling into the
'Tude with four randos,

three of whom I definitely
suspect are children,

to tell me that I'm wrong?

- That's right.
- And to take his job back.

Uh, yeah. Uh, we're-we're
fans, and, um, we-we like Clem.

- Powerful.
- And you are...?

Bob. I-I'm Bob.

You couldn't have done
this over the phone, Bob?

Well, Clem said no one
answers the phone here.

Uh, we answer the phone.

Yes, but there's a
difficult-to-navigate menu

of automated options.

Going great, Dad. You got this.

- Uh, Vance, I-I know you just met me...
- Yes.

Louise, stop. I know you
just met me, and this is, um,

weird, but please, hear me out.

Little advice... um, usually,
when people say "hear me out..."

...they follow it up

- with something coherent.
- Ow.

- Yeah, fi...
- So, got to go now.

- Wait, I...
- Yeah, talking about you.

Uh! I didn't rehearse
what I was gonna say.

I-I didn't know I was
gonna break into song.

- Yeah, that came out of nowhere.
- Huh, look.

That's my old booth.

Wow. There it is.

Underwhelming.
But in a great way?

Oh. Are-are we
allowed to...?

Eh, who cares? They
don't use it anymore.

Wow, it's just like I imagined it.

There's a microphone
and a-a board with knobs.

- Good imagination, Dad.
- Hi, Clem.

I-I thought you said they don't
use the booth anymore, Clem.

They don't use the booth.

They use the engineer. That's Patrick.

He was the engineer for my show,
and he could've left with me,

but he stuck around because
he likes "working for money."

Mm. That voice. It really
lights up the equalizers.

Nice to hear you again.

What's it like running the
board for a fake DJ, Patrick?

Eddie 'Tude may be fake,
but he's the number one

drive-time DJ
in the market.

Successful
but imaginary.

- Like Gene's friend Ken.
- True. Hey!

I'll bet you miss being
in that chair, huh?

Yep. Lot of memories.

Lot of blood, sweat
and farts in that chair.

I'm getting mostly farts.
Oh, wait, there's the sweat.

You must miss this.

Do you want a picture of
yourself sitting in the chair,

- or-or is that dumb?
- Huh.

Hey, do... do you think
I could sit in the chair?

Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.
Knock yourself out.

Really? Great. Louise, get
a picture of me leaning in

and holding the microphone like
I'm about to say something cool.

I am so embarrassed
for that microphone right now.

Um... Clem?

- What-what are you doing?
- Just moving this couch over here.

Seeing how it looks
blocking the door.

Can I have that mic for
a second?

Oh, my God.
You're-you're not...

Sorry for this interruption

to your regularly scheduled
fraud-cast.

This is Clem Clements, coming
at you with no plan and no BS.

Patrick, don't you hit that button.

Folks, open up your ears
for some weird.

- You with me, Bob?
- Wha-what is happening?

Patrick, open the door.
Open the door right now.

Patrick, don't. Look at me, Patrick.

- Patrick, look at me.
- Say my name.

- Patrick, say my name.
- Oh, my God,

oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.

Yes!

- We are live, people!
- No. No, no, no, no.

Open the door. I am
so serious right now.

Clem, he sounds so serious.

I-I should open the door.

Hey, listeners, that
quavery voice you're hearing

is my friend Bob.

He's kind of the reason
I'm talking to you today.

No, no, no. I... Hi.

You got your offspring here,
right, Bob?

- Tell everyone your names, kids.
- Clem, listen.

I'm Gene, the boy
with the golden voice.

- And golden ding-dong.
- Gene!

- And you?
- I don't think we should be doing this,

but I always wanted to
talk on the radio, so...

'Sup? I'm Tina.

And I am a pillar of
fire with hammer hands.

You can't see me.
You can't tell me I'm not.

Okay, I-I'm opening the door.

Before you do that,
Bob, can I have a word?

Patrick, dig up
one of our old tracks.

Oh, oh, give us the mic.

Five minutes of fart sounds?

Sure. Go nuts.

Don't open the door.
This is what we wanted.

I got my job back.

This isn't getting your job back.

This is you barricading
yourself in this room.

They're very different.

I thought we were a team.

But hey, you do
what you got to do.

Me, I'm gonna plug my
iPod into that console

and put it on shuffle.

And if some of my
spoken-word poetry plays,

some of my spoken-word
poetry plays.

So, the animal shelter
won't take the pies.

Figures. Probably a
bunch of snobby poodles.

Oh, what are we gonna
do with these things?

I don't know. Mm.
I mean, they're really...

they're not good pies.

Here, let me try this one.

- Oh, awful! Gross.
- Mm. Ugh.

Pass the whipped cream, please.

- Hold on. Mm. Mm.
- Oh. Mm.

Little more.

- Hey, check it out. Bob's on the radio.
- What?

That sound you hear
is not the world's longest drum solo.

It's a security guard
pounding on the studio door.

Yeah, and he's mad.

- W-We could get arrested.
- What? Bob.

Question... Now can you play
the world's longest drum solo?

Cuing it up.

Oh, my God! My babies!

No one said anything
about my new haircut...!

Before we blast
these tunes to the moon,

this might be a good time
to check in

with my old friend-gineer Patrick.

Used to be just us humans,

before the robot radio revolution.

How are the robots
treating you, Patrick?

Mm, fair.
Not many people work here now.

The company Christmas
party is just me and Vance.

It takes all the fun
out of Secret Santa.

Excuse me, Clem, where's your
slide whistle sound effect,

in case a zinger
comes to me later?

I would also like to
request a record scratch

followed by a laser sound.

Normally, I'm not a sound
effects guy,

but I'll do it this once.

Crying baby into sad trombone?

Are you Mozart?

Hello?

Patrick, it's Vance.
Shut them down right now.

Don't you have a button for that?

- I do have a button.
- Then push it.

Yeah, but if I push the button,
they're gonna come in here

and also push the button,

which would undo my button pushing,

and we're just back to
where we started.

Damn it, Patrick, you're
getting too technical.

We are in deep doo-doo here.

It is code red over at corporate.

- Code red? Uh-oh.
- Yeah. Now, I'd call the cops myself,

but corporate said I got
to handle this quietly.

And I don't know how
to handle this at all.

You're doing great.

Who is that? Patrick,
tell me I'm not on the air.

- My fault. You're on the air.
- Damn it!

But now we're not on the air,
so you can say anything you want.

Okay, good. Clem, I don't
know how to handle this,

and I feel like I'm gonna cry.

Oh, I'm so sorry,
we were on the air.

No! They tricked me!

Bob's got his phone off.
Oh, God.

Teddy, you brought one of the pies?

I thought maybe it would
taste better in the truck.

Oh, where's the station?

Could you, uh, pass the...
there's a fork

in the glove compartment,
glove compartment fork.

Clem, I think we can

- sign off now, right?
- There's Bob!

Bob, Bob, get out of
there! It's me, Linda!

Listen to your wife.
We both love you very much.

Teddy, go, go faster.

Where are you
going with this, Clem?

You're-you're not getting
hired back at this station

after you hijacked it.

- "Hijacked" is a strong word.
- Soft-jacked?

- Soft-jacked.
- Guys.

Where I'm going with this
is let's have some more fun

before they break the door down.

So sit back, we're
gonna be here a while,

'cause that's a really serious
door, which, by the way,

was gonna be the name of
The Doors, but it sounded

- too serious.
- First off, love it.

One question... bathroom. Where
should I go in this room?

- Oh. Maybe hold it?
- So, that corner?

- Louise, no.
- You got three other options.

Whatever we're doing,
let's make a decision.

Storm's a-coming.

The little girl goes out,
you stay in the hallway.

- Do we have a deal?
- Absolutely.

Fellas,
got to move this along.

Okay,
I'm opening the door now.

Great. Do it.

Oh, boy.

I thought we had a deal.

We do have a deal.

- You're trying to get in.
- No, I'm not.

It really seems like you are.

I don't know, maybe he just
likes the way that feels.

Yes, exactly.
He's right.

- Aha! I was trying to get in.
- I knew it.

- Damn it.
- I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry,

- and I got to go.
- That's it, Clem.

Your little stunt is over, and
let me tell you something else...

The 'Tude is a hit, and
you're just a moldy oldie

who does things weird.

- Geez.
- Ouch. -Yikes.

I'll see you at the
bowling alley, tomorrow,

for my son's birthday party.
You know we're coming, right?

I-I think we confirmed?

I haven't found
the bathroom,

but I found
a bunch of paper cups.

Ah... not a good aim.
We should go.

Clem, he-he didn't mean
what he said.

I mean, he did.

I don't know
why I started that way.

He's right, though. I guess
I'll, uh... I'll see you around.

Kids, I forgot your names,
but bye.

- Bye, radio man.
- Clem, wait!

- Th-Th-The 'Tude Cruiser.
- Yeah?

- You said you can broadcast from there.
- Yeah?

Well, what if we borrowed it?
Wh-Where are the keys?

- I have keys.
- Patrick?

You quit in support of Clem?

You could say that,
but really, I got fired.

Oh, sorry, buddy.

I was gonna quit anyway,
in ten years.

I like your idea, Bob.
Want to go for a ride?

Ready to roll, everybody?

- Yes, yes, yes!
- Yeah!

Let's do this. Oh, wait,
that's my neighbor's key.

I'm looking after her cat.

- Aw.
- Let's do this.

- So, what are we doing?
- First, we get back

on the air, which means
we have to park somewhere

- and set up, right, Patrick?
- Exactly.

- Then what?
- Uh, then we open the phones

and talk to the people.

I bet you got through
to a lot of them today.

- And they're gonna want Clem back?
- Uh, yeah.

Uh, you know there are no phones
in the 'Tude Cruiser, right?

Crap, really?

But you could hold a
cell phone up to the mic.

So, give out my phone
number over the radio?

Worried about stalkers?
It's okay, you'll get one.

Where are we gonna
park the 'Tude Cruiser?

How about at that restaurant
over there?

And I'm not just saying that

because we missed lunch.
Okay, I am.

Oh, my God.
That place is on the list.

"Best Burgers on the Shore."

You carry that around?

Yeah, it's his super cool way

of showing how little
he cares about it.

Patrick, this thing we're about to do,

- will it be loud?
- Yes.

Loud enough to annoy trendy
people trying to eat lunch?

- Probably.
- Then we park there.

I don't get it.

They said Bob and the kids
left already,

but the car's still here.

Whoa, there's signs
of a struggle in there.

Nah, that's how
it always looks.

Come on, back in the truck.
Is there any pie left?

A little bit that
I was gonna save for later,

but, uh, yeah, I mean,
I guess you can have some.

I see a lot of sweet potato fries.

Don't believe the hype,
people!

Save it for the airwaves, big guy.

So I used the restaurant
Wi-Fi to access

the 'Tude transmitter site
and hack the audio encoder.

How'd you do that?
I'm hack-curious.

Maybe "hack" is a strong word.
They never set up a password.

- I just logged on.
- And we're back, folks.

Sorry for that rude interruption,

or should I say,
"Tude interruption."

Nice!

- They're back on the air.
- Now what?

- Just drive.
- And never look back?

- No, and find Bob.
- We don't even know where he is.

Right, right.
Okay, just drive, then.

The phone lines
are really lighting up.

I mean, it's just the one line,
but it's vibrating like crazy.

Dad has that thing set to shiatsu.

Put it on my back.
Oh, wait, I just got another idea.

Gene.

First caller who isn't
Vance at the station.

Vance, stop calling.
Stop it. I hate you.

- First caller, you're on.
- Hello.

The reason for this
call is to let you know

you're now eligible
for interest rates

as low as six percent.

Whoa, Dad, congrats.

Does this mean
one of us can go to college?

Next caller.
You're on the air.

Oh,
thank God, I got through! Through.

- Linda? Linda?
- Bob. Bob...

Linda, turn down your radio.

I just want to say...

Whoa, my voice sounds weird.

Turn down the radio, Linda.

Oh, we got
to turn down the radio.

Linda,
why are you calling?

We're kind of looking for
Clem Clements fans right now.

Bob, where are you?

We're at an undisclosed
location, but we might be near

one of the restaurants on the list.

The list?
Oh, Bob, let it go.

Don't worry, Mom.
He's handling it really well.

No, he's not, Mom.

He's shouting at people
eating sweet potato fries.

Only that one guy,
Tina, and that couple.

- I mean, a couple couples.
- Bob, listen.

Trendy stuff is just trendy.
So what?

You care about
what you do.

And you're stubborn,

and sometimes that means not
everyone's gonna like you,

but the people who like
you really like you.

And that's who you do it for,

not some dumb list.

Uhh, thanks, Linda. Uh,
that's nice of you to say.

- Mmm. No sweat, baby.
- Are you... What are you eating?

T-T-T-T-Tude FM.

Cram this in your sound hole.

Crap, the 'Tude is back.

- Patrick, do your thing.
- I can't.

They locked me out, which is fair.

Well, I guess that's it.

Sorry I dragged you
into this,

but it sounds like
you're doing all right.

I mean, you've got your loyal
customers and your family.

Yeah, but you've got,
um, well, you know...

Right, I have, uh...

Free bowling shoes?

Do you have a bow and
arrow? That's something.

No.

Dad, your phone keeps buzzing.

Oh. Hello?

Y-Yeah, he's here.

- Is it for Clem?
- Hello?

Hey, Clem Clements?

- Yeah?
- I was listening to you,

but then the 'Tude came back,

but then you came back,
then the 'Tude came back.

Are you gonna come back or what?

I think we're done, buddy.

No, that sucks!

Wait, there's someone
else calling. Hello?

'Tude stinks! Bring back Clem!

Oh, there's another call. Hello?

Hey, Clem,
it's Dan over at WOFD.

We talked a while back.

You know, our offer still stands.

- We love what you did today.
- Whoa, hey, Dan.

I got to say, right now
it's nice to be appreciated.

I tell you what, I will work for you

if you hire Patrick
as my engineer.

That is great news!

The shift we have right
now is midnight to 8:00 a.m.

- We'll be there.
- Oh, that's when I do my sleeping.

Uh, sorry, caller.
Uh, do you guys hear that?

- Uh-oh. - Time to move.
- What should we do?

Push this sucker off the pier?

- Maybe.
- Maybe not.

- Maybe just return it.
- Oh, boo.

♪ Regular fries ♪

♪ Are the best french fries ♪

♪ Regular fries ♪

- ♪ They're just very good fries ♪
- ♪ Sweet sweety sweet ♪

♪ Sweet sweet potato fries ♪

- ♪ Are overrated ♪
- ♪ Sweet sweety sweet ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ You've got to have regular fries ♪

♪ Regular fries ♪

♪ They're the best french fries ♪

♪ Regular fries ♪

- ♪ They're just very, very ♪
- ♪ Sweet sweety ♪

♪ Very good fries ♪
♪ Sweet sweet potato fries ♪

♪ They're overrated, baby ♪

♪ You've got to have regular pri... ♪