All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S09E18.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-CtrlHD

*BOB'S BURGERS*

*BOB'S BURGERS*
Season 09 Episode 18

Title: "If You Love It So Much,
Why Don't You Marionette?"

We meet again,
Dodomeki.

It is time for us
to go

on the really big quest.
Together.

Yes, Kuchi Kopi.

We're finding that,
um,

that amulet
and it won't be easy.

So, here we go.

- Pew!
- Wait, why'd you make that sound?

Oh, never mind, I don't know.
Pretend I didn't do that.

Well, that's impossible.
It was really distracting

and kind of forced,
or something.

Sorry, it's just hard to get
into this for some reason.

It's fine,
we're fine.

Let's just do the thing.

- Hey, Louise. You okay?
- Huh?

What? Yeah.

Of course I'm okay,
I'm great.

This is going great.

Okay, well,
time for breakfast.

Mom's exact words were,

"Guess what time it is.
Egg thirty."

Um, unless
I'm interrupting.

Uh, no,
I was just wrapping up.

- So, we're having eggs?
- No.

- Oh.
- But yeah, it's egg thirty.

Okay, kids. I packed you an
extra delicious exotic lunch

for your field trip today.

It's chunky peanut butter,
huh?

Ooh la la.

Louise, you excited?

Your first time going to
the marionette theater.

Easy, Mom. You're setting
Louise up for disappointment.

What?
I thought you loved that place.

It's the greatest show
on strings.

Eh... not the greatest,
actually.

It's the same not-so-great
show every year.

No matter how bored you
are, don't fall asleep.

The puppets follow you
into your dreams!

No, it's fun.
Remember, Bob?

We took Gene and Tina
there when they were little?

- It's great, right?
- Uh, it's bad.

- It was a bad day.
- Bob.

What? It was long and
boring and made me want

to stop supporting
the arts and start

actively working against them.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Anything's better than
being at school.

I mean,
you'd think so...

Aw, you're all a bunch
of puppet poopers.

I wish I was a marionette.

Someone doing
all the work for me,

moving my arms
and legs around.

Wah, wah, wah, wah.
Wah, wah, wah...

Well, there's
your beautiful bride, Dad.

- Ah, you get what you get.
- Wah, wah, wah...

Okay.

For those of you
who haven't been

to the Esther Margaret
Marionette-Odeum,

here's the rundown.

We start the day with
a glorious puppet show.

Was hoping for a little more
reaction there, but okay.

Next, there's a
puppet-building workshop.

- And finally, you'll perform...
- Whoo, yeah!

- Uh, a bit late on that, Zeke.
- Oh, got it.

I'll get it next time. Keep
doing what you're doing.

Uh, uh, okay.

Anyway, then you'll
break off into groups

and perform your own
puppet show for each other.

Anything to add,
Ms. Labonz?

Don't bring me
into this.

Oh, okay.
Uh, let's go inside.

Well, let's just get
through this, right, Zeke?

If I die of boredom,
tell my story.

You know I will.

Oh, come on.
It's a puppet show.

It can't be that bad.

♪ Stamp,
stamp, stamp, stamp ♪

♪ Stamp, stamp, stamp ♪

♪ And that's a song
about stamps. ♪

- Oh, my God.
- Ha!

Well, hello there.
I'm Stampson.

And as you can see, I've been to
some pretty interesting places.

I guess you could say
that I really like stamps.

But who doesn't?

Does anyone here know
where I could find a stamp?

Is that Ron
the health inspector?

- Oh, yeah.
- Did he get arrested?

Is this community service?

Look, a box.
And it's lost.

Hey, everyone.
Which way to Milwaukee?

We'll tell you,
but first, you need a...

♪ Stamp, stamp, stamp, stamp,
stamp, stamp, stamp... ♪

Dear Lord, make me a
bird so I can fly far.

Far, far away from here.

Huh.

- Lin, look at this guy.
- Oh.

What's he doing?
What's he wearing?

- Great show, it's a rave.
- Hi.

Uh, can I help you?

Or is it: can I help you?

Supercala-Rave-A-Glowstick?

Mm-hmm.

Thursdays are 18-plus
rave nights at the Dance Hole.

- Dubstep, trip-trance.
- Uh-huh, yeah. Right.

- Electro-hop, doo-wop-hop.
- Yeah, right. Right, I-I got it.

- Polynesian speed gospel.
- I got it. Sir, I got it.

Um, can I ask you if you
wouldn't mind not flyering here?

I mean, flyers are
great, but you're kind of

standing right in
front of my restaurant.

- Oh, uh, my bad.
- Thanks.

- But I can't move.
- What? W-Why?

My boss told me to flyer
right here in this spot.

And he said he's gonna
come by and check on me.

And if I'm not in this
exact spot, I won't get paid.

Well, that seems ridiculous.
Just move 20 feet that way.

- I'm sure he won't care.
- He was very specific, okay?

I can't risk it.
I need the money

for this little dude's
medical bills.

- Is that a...
- It's a ferret.

My ferret, Karat.

- Okay...
- He's really old,

but he's still
got a lot of spunk.

- Check it.
- Oh, wow.

H-He's okay
with being put in a shoe?

He likes it. It's where
he goes to the bathroom.

It's my roommate's shoe.

- Ride the rave.
- No, no, no. No.

Don't cross the street.
He-he won't give you a flyer.

- He was just leaving.
- I have to give 'em a flyer.

Bob, what's going on
out here?

Apparently, this guy
needs to hand out flyers

right in front of the restaurant.

Can't you just move
half a block up that way?

I just gave him

- the same suggestion.
- Yeah, he already said

that exact thing. I can't.

Well, should we just
pick him up and move him?

You mean, like,
each take a side?

Don't do that.
I'll make myself heavy.

- Look.
- Oh, yeah.

- Look at that.
- Hmm.

Okay, students.
Quiet down.

Let's give a big hand
to the woman

who made this all possible,
Ms. Esther Margaret!

Hello, children.

Welcome back to the place
where imagination comes

with strings attached.

So, find a spot
on the floor.

It's time to build your
own marionette magic.

Any questions, just ask one
of our seasoned volunteers.

Wait, is this it?

She just wants us to
put stickers on these?

They stay
if you press really hard.

If only that were true
of men, huh, sister?

- Is there a problem here?
- Um, no.

- It just seems kind of...
- What?

You don't like
building puppets?

I mean, if that's what
you're calling this.

- Ron. This one needs help.
- Yeah?

Oh, so, uh...

Uh, one might want
to put a sticker here.

O-Or maybe here.

Ron,
I know how stickers work.

- Brag.
- You know what?

Where's the bathroom?

Uh, it's down the hall, to the left.

Great, thanks.

Ugh, the kids get worse
and worse every year.

- But people keep making them.
- What?

I don't need
help. You need help, lady.

Huh?

Uh, that room's off-limits.

What was that puppet?

- It's, uh...
- None of your business is what it is.

Now go do your business.

If you haven't done it
in your diapers already.

Easy, lady. If you don't
want us to go in that room,

you should have... Oh,
now I'm seeing the sign.

I was just thinking,
little girl.

- Louise.
- Uh-huh.

Since the puppet workshop
isn't holding your attention,

I'm assigning you with a
very special job all your own.

- How's that sound?
- Judging by your tone,

- it sounds...
- That was a rhetorical question.

Come with me.

This is our tech booth.

Usually smells like whatever
weird thing Dot's eating.

That's me. Hi.

Dot,
I thought you could use

an extra helper
in the booth today.

- This is Loosie.
- Louise.

- No one's named "Loosie."
- I must've heard wrong.

Anyway,
you two have fun.

- See you at showtime.
- Wait, wait, wait...

- Dried fish skin?
- What? No.

Sorry, I chew with
my mouth open

'cause I can't breathe
through my nose.

Oh.

- Sorry.
- Great.

Well, welcome to master
control.

So, am I here
as punishment?

I don't know.
Wait. Am I?

Oh, wow. Anyway, well, yeah,
let me give you the tour.

Well, there's the master
tape deck, cassette library,

fog machine,
sound mixer and, uh...

- that's the lighting board.
- What?

- That one switch?
- Yeah, it's got a dimmer.

Well, tour's over.

Are you good
or should I do it again?

Oh! I got a flashlight.

Now we're cooking, huh?

- What's taking Louise so long?
- If Dad's taught us one thing,

it's not to comment
on how long

someone's taking
in the bathroom.

Your
sister's been reassigned

- to the tech booth with Dot.
- What? Oh, no.

The Tech Booth with Dot?

I hate that podcast.

Hey, while we're waiting
for the shows to start,

want to listen to
my beats?

I've been making beats
on my phone.

- I mean...
- Check it out. I call this one.

"Can I Sell My Bed On
Craigslist?"

That's... a-a funky beat.

I keep asking Esther if we can
use one of my beats in the show,

but I'm starting to think
that'll never happen.

Well, that's her loss, Dot.

Hey, what can you tell
me about that cool puppet

in the "do not enter" room?

You know, the one with
all the shiny colors

- and the arms and...?
- Oh, that's Vladikus.

Don't let Esther catch
you looking at that puppet.

Too late.
What's the deal?

Is she jealous she can't make
something as cool as that?

No, Esther did make
that puppet.

- No way.
- Yes way.

She used to do
all sorts of cool shows

with all sorts of
crazy puppets

- back in the day.
- Whoa.

Well, those pants
made more sense back then.

Why did Esther
stop using Vladikus?

I don't know.
She just stopped.

Uh-oh, it's time for
another beat, I think!

I call this
"Where Did I Leave My Bra?

I Only Have One.
Oh, There It Is."

Oh, God! Oh, God...

Look at him.
He's freaking out.

I guess
I should check on him.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

- Uh, are you okay?
- My ferret is gonna die, man!

Oh, what? Karat?

Yes! My roommate was supposed
to give him his medicine.

But apparently,
she's not "comfortable

putting suppositories up
his anus."

Well, then, go.
Y-You leaving seems like

a great idea for everyone.

I can't, I told you.
I'll get fired.

I really don't think
your boss is gonna check on you.

I can't risk it.
This job is all I have.

This job and Karat. Oh!
Can you help me? Be me.

Just pass out my flyers
so I can go keep

- my best friend alive.
- Uh, wait. I, um...

I promise I'll be right back.
It'll be so fast.

Uh...

You'll look more like
me if you wear this.

- W-Wait. No, no, no. No, no, no.
- Thank you.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you...
- No, no, no, no, uh...

Hey! U-Uh,
come back!

- Oh, Bobby. What happened?
- I-I don't know.

- Do you want a flyer?
- Ew, no.

Okay, children.

Time for you to become
the storytellers.

So let your imagination
run wild...

within the boundaries
we've set for you.

And remember...
scripts are the words

that you say
in the show.

- I don't need you to do that.
- Uh... Oh.

Um, it looks like
most of it's written,

but then there are
these blank spaces?

- It's like Mad Libs.
- More like Sad Libs.

Who's with me?

Yeah.

- Oh, okay. Get over here!
- Ow. Zeke!

Okay, let's see
what we got here.

"I'm Princess blank.
I live in the Kingdom of blank.

Oh, look.
There's Prince blank."

That's easy. Fart,
pudding, ding-dong, done.

Hey, look
what you made.

That guy could be
Vladikus' cousin

if Vladikus was made out of
electrical cords and tape.

- Hey, make it dance.
- Oh, I don't know.

I can't really...

Try not to dance to this.

It's called "My
Prescription Will Be Ready.

When It's Ready, I Guess."

Ooh, ah, ooh, ah.

Okay. Looks a little awkward,

but you're getting it, huh?

You want to show
your little friends?

Are they, uh, open-minded?

Uh, do you, uh,
like to, uh, rave?

Yeah, yeah, I-I understand.

You still doing this?

Ugh. He said
he'd be right back.

Here's a fl... a flyer.
Flyer. Uh, rave?

I guess
I'm just not good at this.

Bob, you shouldn't be
doing this at all,

but if you're gonna do it,
do it better.

You got to be more
confident. Use your wrist.

You flick it. Flick it out.

- Okay, like... Uh...
- Like a booger.

You know, when you're
laying in bed at night.

Wait, you flick
your boogers in bed?

Yeah, I just... Yeah,
just into the radiator.

That's disgu...
into the radiator?

- Yeah, it burns 'em off.
- What?

Yeah, my mom taught me how.

All right,
I'm going to ignore that,

'cause I can't think
about that right now.

- Here's my flick. Heh!
- Oh, cool flyer.

There you go, Bobby. Good one.

Oh, here comes someone else.

- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Ha!

- Ooh.
- Ha!

- Okay, ooh-hoo...
- Boom! Bow!

You're a friggin'
frequent flyer.

Louise, you're not
supposed to be out here.

- I know, but...
- Loosie, get in the booth.

The first group is
about to perform.

Oh, my God,
what is that scrap pile?

It's a puppet I made.

Uh-huh. With six legs.

And you came up with that
design all by yourself?

- Well, I mean...
- We both know that you didn't.

Okay, fine, I borrowed
a few ideas

from the puppet
in the forbidden room.

What's your problem, lady?

I think I made it pretty
clear that you're my problem.

Hey, the arm and the
string came off my...

I'm your problem?

I'm assuming
you're a lot of people's problem.

- I'll make it work.
- You know,

judging by your attitude,

I think it's quite clear that
you don't want to be here.

I got news for you, lady.

No one wants to be here!

Including you, apparently.

What kind of place does
the same show for 30 years?

Maybe Phantom of the Opera?
Sorry.

Also, Les Mis ran forever.

Don't forget Cats.

Yes, many musicals.

But this place is a
soul-sucking cycle of suck!

Get out.
You are banned from this theater.

What? You can't ban me.
This is a field trip.

No, you can be banned.

Go sit on the bus
with Ms. Labonz.

Great! Wonderful!

Sitting on the bus
will be better

than watching this crap show!

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup,
bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

We totally
had Louise's back, right?

You mean with
the not speaking up

or having her back in any way?

Yeah.

Ugh.

Who even wants to be at
a place where a bunch of

dumb junk on strings gets
dragged around anyway?

I'm not a cat.

Pipe down, Louise,
you're in trouble.

Dip, dip, dip.

- Double dip. Dip.
- What is that?

It's a game called
Dippin' Chips.

You have to dip chips into
different kinds off dip.

I'm on level 544.

Double dip. Double dip.

Yes!

Hey, Ms. Labonz, would you
say all grown-ups give up

and just become awful?

Some do, and then some
of us just keep getting

more amazing every day.

Now, let me dip in peace.

"And Princess Puppet
and Princess Girl lived

happily ever after in
the Kingdom of blank."

Oh, we...
we forgot to fill that one in.

So let's just say... Jocelyn.

The end. Thank you.

Great. Okay, quickly, quickly...

Poor Louise. I feel like

we should go see
if she's okay.

Yeah, but how do we get
past Mr. Frond and Esther?

They're blocking the exits.

- You want to sneak out?
- Ah!

Sorry. Um, I can help.

Why do you want to help us?

Are you wearing a wire?

No. Esther was too hard on
your sister,

and-and everyone, really.
Follow me.

Where are you taking the
Christmas village, Ron?

There's a-a spider.
A spider's on it,

and, uh, I'm gonna go
shake it off outside.

Okay.

Go on. Uh,
get out of here, spider.

Dip.
Double dip. Trip-dip!

You bet your ass
that's a trip-dip.

Psst! Louise.

What are you guys doing here?

We came to visit you in bus jail.

What's going on
back there, Louise?

Nothing. Just thinking about
all the bad stuff I did.

- Good.
- You guys got to get me out of here.

I want to go back in
and tangle some strings,

so to speak.

Uh, Louise, I'm not sure
this is the best idea.

Shh. Here, I'm gonna
slip out the window.

- You guys catch me.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- No!
- I wasn't doing anything.

Oh, I missed a trip-dip.

- I'm gonna drop. Ready?
- No.

- Oof.
- Ow, my boob.

Huh?

- Dipsy-doodle time!
- Hell yeah!

You want one.
Hey, empty fingers.

- Looking at you.
- Bob, I'm bored.

Are you coming back in?

Lin, what if the guy's boss
comes back to check on him?

Plus, I think
I'm really good at this.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, no.

Hey, Trev, look at Bob.

He's handing out flyers,
and he's dressed like

a crossing guard
from Narnia.

- Ha. Boom!
- Ha.

Narnia, it's a magical place.

Shut up, Jimmy.

For your information, Jimmy,
Bob's helping out someone

who has a sick carrot.

Lin, it's a ferret, not a carrot.

Oh, that makes more sense.

Sick ferret, Jimmy!

You know what, Jimmy,
I don't care what you say,

because I'm
the best damn flyerer...

Oh, my God, I just
dropped all the flyers.

Ha! You're dumb.

Aw, they're flying.

Hey, that's why they
call them flyers. Ha!

All right, I'm done.

Okay, so, what's your plan?

Just watch the show and
sarcastically applaud?

- Nope.
- Well, I know we're

not gonna go in there,
since it says "do not enter."

So, what else?
What else? Hmm.

- We're going in there.
- Damn it.

Psst! Dot.

We've got some new
cues for the next show.

Did you say new "poos"?

New cues.

Oh. Cool.

Ah, there you are. Okay.

Now you're only one
little troublemaker short.

I'll fill in for her.

Try to keep up. Dot!

What the...?

Uh... Oh, no.

I was told that there
would be no fog machines.

Dot, we talked about this.

- Cool.
- Nice.

Oh, yeah, I'm feeling that.

Vladikus.

Just what do you think
you're doing?

You think you can
out-puppet me? Think again.

Well, then, string it
on, Mother Puppeter.

Looks like we got
ourselves an old-fashioned...

puppet battle.

You think you can handle
that puppet?

Pinochi-oh-no-I-don't-think-so.

Oh, really, Miss Poopit Master,

who locked me up
for 30 years?

What?
She locked you away

for reasons
you wouldn't understand!

- What?
- I said you wouldn't understand!

Dot, turn down the beats!

You got it!

So why did she lock me up?

Look, things just
changed.

- Why?
- Because she gave up?

No. Er, yes.
Er, I don't know.

She got older,
and at some point,

the puppets just stopped
talking to her.

So she put her favorite ones
away

and stuck with
the easier shows.

The easier show was...
stamps?

Stamps, yes. Kids love
stamps. Everybody knows that.

So, that's what happens?

People put away
their favorite puppets,

and kids just stop
playing with their toys?

It just goes away?

Well, maybe
it didn't have to.

I mean, maybe it only
goes away if you let it.

Oh, dang, that's deep.
Starting to tear up over here.

Oh, Vladikus,
I do miss you.

I'm sorry
I hid you away.

- Are those puppets gonna make out?
- Hot.

Here, you take him.

Hello, old friend.

Dot, more fog.

- Bring the music back up.
- On it!

This is the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.

Wow, look at her go.

Wait, where'd she go?

Is she even
in this room anymore?

Whoa! Oh!

Oh, God, Esther, I should
have dialed back on the fog.

- How bad is it?
- Just a couple of bruised ribs.

- Well, four. Is four a couple?
- Wait, Esther. I thought

you might want to take this
guy with you in the ambulance.

- Oh, thank you, Loosie.
- Louise.

I'm glad we had
our epic puppet battle.

Maybe I should change things
up at this old theater.

Ooh, did you see that?

- See what?
- Vladikus winked at me.

Whoa!
He did it again.

Watch, watch, watch.
There. Aha!

We gave her drugs.

All right,
students, back on the bus.

Hey, what are you doing in
here?

My job. Um, sorry,
you just took too long.

- He dropped the flyers.
- Lin...

What? Oh, God, this is a disaster!

Nobody's gonna
check on you.

Hey, why aren't you out front?

I told you
I was gonna check on you.

- Oh.
- Uh, he was outside.

Uh, but he ran out. Of flyers.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah,
he was so great. Right, Bob?

- I mean, he was okay.
- Oh, shush.

Wow. Uh, okay.

I knew this would be
a busy spot.

So, uh, same time here
tomorrow?

Wait, wait, wait.
He-he can't, uh, he...

Uh, you know what, he'd
actually do a lot better

in front of that Italian
place across the street.

- Right, Lin?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

More sun over there, more
people walk over there.

Oh, this side is so dreary.
It's like a cemetery.

I mean, it's not like
a cemetery.

You know what, done. Other
side of the street tomorrow.

I'll send two guys.
And, uh, can I have my hat back?

I'm going on a date
tonight.

Oh, here it is,
right here in my hand.

Uh, by the way, someone
perspired in it, um, a lot.

- Uh, that guy did.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Gross.

Hey, Louise, you think
you might want to become

a volunteer puppeteer
after today?

You had the moves, kinda.

I don't know.
There's only so many times

you can reunite an old lady
with her long-lost puppet.

Yeah, six.

All I know is,
when we get home,

this little fella's gonna
do battle with the Kuch.

I hope you know
kung fu, babe.

Uh-oh,
he's shaking his head.

Oh, that's nice.

Dot let you take that
stuff from the tech booth?

Uh, yeah,
she absolutely did.

Now let's all
just sit quietly

and, um,
stare ahead.

Like The Graduate!

♪ Puppet battle, puppet battle,
puppet battle, puppet battle ♪

♪ Puppet battle,
battle, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ String it on ♪

♪ Puppet battle ♪

♪ Puppet battle, puppet battle,
puppet battle, puppet battle ♪

♪ Puppet battle,
battle, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, ha ♪

♪ Puppet battle, puppet battle,
puppet battle, puppet battle ♪

♪ Vladikus ♪

- ♪ Puppet battle, puppet battle ♪
- ♪ Aha ♪

♪ You gotta puppet battle ♪

♪ Puppet battle, puppet battle,
puppet battle, puppet battle ♪

♪ Puppet battle,
battle, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ String it on ♪

♪ Puppet battle ♪

♪ Puppet battle, puppet
battle, puppet battle. ♪

Sync corrections by srjanapala