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[
]
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ANNOUNCER:
This is the story of two sisters:
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Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
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Jessica lives in a neighbourhoodknown as rich.
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Jessica likes life.
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The only thing about lifeshe would change, if she could,
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is that she would set itall to music.
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The Tates have more secretsthan they do money.
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We're approachingMary Campbell's house.
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Mary, too, likes life.
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Unfortunately, life doesn't seemto be too crazy about her.
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As you can see, the Campbellsdon't have nearly as much money
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as the Tates.
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They do, however,have as many secrets.
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In last week's episode of Soap,
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the Tates and the Campbells,who are all murder suspects,
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all suspect each other.
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Sheriff Tinkler, however,has eliminated all suspects but one,
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and has arrested Corinne Tatefor the murder of Peter Campbell.
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The Tates are outragedabout Corinne's arrest,
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and the Campbellsdon't know about it yet.
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Confused? You won't beafter this week's episode of Soap.
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We begin this week's episodeshortly after Corinne's arrest.
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Oh, come on, Babette.
Now, you know it's illegal.
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Oh, please, illegal.
I told him he could go around the world for $100.
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I'm a travel agent, for God's sake.
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Crazy.
Oh, please.
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Officer Tinkler, this is silly.
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It's hardly necessary
to put a sweet young girl in jail.
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That's just what I told him.
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Hi, Chet.
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Do you know her?
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Who?
That girl.
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That girl that said, "Hi, Chet."
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Oh, no. She said, "I bet." Bet.
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Probably arrested for gambling.
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Oh.
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[MOUTHS] Oh.
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Okay, Corinne, if you just give me
your personal belongings, your purse, your jewellery.
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This is an outrage, Tinkler.
You have not one shred of proof.
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I'm going to sue you for false arrest,
I swear it.
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Look, we found her fingerprints
all over the place, Mr. Tate.
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Of course you did, you moron.
I live there.
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Oh, well, there are a lot of people
who knew you two weren't getting along.
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Well, of course they weren't getting
along. They were living together.
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I mean, who ever heard of people
living together and getting along?
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It's people who don't live together
that get along.
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That's why one hears
about so few divorces among them.
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Come on, Corinne.
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Step over here, will you?
Just give me your thumb. Put it right in here.
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What about bail, Tinkler?
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I'll arrange for a hearing.
Won't be until tomorrow, though.
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I want it now.
And I'm sorry, the judge is gone.
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She's gonna have to spend the night.
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Then I would like
to see her room, please.
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No.
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I'm sorry, Mrs. Tate.
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My dear man, Corinne cannot sleep
without crossventilation.
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She has allergies.
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Now, look, Mrs. Tate,
this is a jail, not a hotel.
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Then she's not going.
She is going.
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Then I'm going with her.
I'm sorry.
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Why can't she come with me?
I'm her mother.
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Mr. Tate. Oh, come on, Corinne.
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You let me take her home,
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and I'll lock her up in her room,
if that'll make you happy.
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Let's go.
Please don't take her away.
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Ma, I don't wanna go.
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I know. I know.
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Baby, it'll be for just one night.
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It's time, Corinne. Let's go.
Come on, come on.
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She's... She's my little girl.
Ma!
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Oh, Chester.
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Chester, she's gone.
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My baby's gone to jail.
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[
]
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Corinne?
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[WHISTLES]
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[GRUNTING]
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[GUNSHOTS]
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[WHISTLES]
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It had to have been
more than one person.
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What was that noise?
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Burt, what are you doing?
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I was just proving my theory, Mary.
Just proving my theory.
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Burt, what did you do
to my Mr. Bozo?
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Oh, darling. Why don't you let
the police do this?
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They're trained for this work.
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Are you kidding, police?
It's been three days.
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What have they come up with?
Nothing.
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Right now, I guarantee you, I know
more about this crime than they do.
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For instance, I've narrowed it down
to one of two things:
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Peter was murdered
either by the Tates,
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or by a man
with more than two arms.
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Burt, how can you know that?
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How? Ha-ha. How?
My tests prove it. That's how.
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And notice, if you will,
I'm working under very primitive conditions here. Huh?
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The police have a modern crime lab,
computers, whatnot, huh?
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And who comes up with the first big
break in the case? Me.
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Who? A civilian.
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We heard gunshots. What happened?
Nothing, Chuck.
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Oh, too bad. I thought
maybe Burt blew his head off.
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Come on.
Hey, keep him quiet, will you?
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Hey, uh, inspector,
did you figure out who did it,
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or do you just hate clowns?
Ha-ha-ha.
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No, I figured out who did it.
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Oh, I can't wait to hear.
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The Tates did it.
All of them?
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That's right. One used a brick,
another a gun, another a knife.
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Most families go on picnics together,
these people kill.
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Mom, Burt, they made an arrest.
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Who?
You won't believe it. Corinne.
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Oh, I knew that. I knew it.
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What happened
to your group theory?
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Listen. Out of all of the Tates,
she's the only one who could've done it alone.
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Corinne's a terrific athlete.
You ever see those shoulders on her?
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Sa-ka-ka-pu-wah!
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Come on. Corinne. Corinne.
How do you like that?
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Corinne didn't do it.
You know Corinne.
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How can you possibly think
that she did that?
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Mary, you never know what evil lurks
in the hearts of men. Or women.
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You don't think Lizzie Borden's
mother wasn't surprised when she saw that axe coming?
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Corinne. Corinne. I knew it was her.
I was on the trail of getting close.
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The police, they just have
better equipment, that's all.
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Burt, darling, let's go upstairs.
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Yeah.
Come on.
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Corinne. Corinne. The shoulders.
Come on.
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Yeah. See here. See?
See, her name's underlined.
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Come on. Come on.
The shoulders.
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He's just about ready
for the banana hatch.
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Hey, Chuck, what is it with you?
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Me?
Yeah.
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Hey, you got us confused, Dodo.
I'm Bob. He's Chuck.
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Well, he's the one who talks.
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Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
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Then why are you listening to me?
Ha.
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Boy, I thought
your father was stupid.
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But, uh, that one?
I've seen smarter rocks. Heh-heh.
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Danny, Danny, come on now.
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I get confused too.
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Hey, listen, Jodie.
Do me a favour, would you?
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Name it.
Burt's really getting kind of nutty.
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I want you to promise me
you'll take care of Ma.
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You make it sound
like you're never coming back.
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I can't do it anymore, Jodie.
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I can't keep running.
Well, what are you gonna do?
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I'm gonna talk to Lefkowitz.
He's the man who wants to kill you.
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What are you gonna do,
call him up and make a lunch date?
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I'm gonna surprise him, Jodie.
I'm gonna break into his house.
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Oh, that'll surprise him.
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That'll stun him
for two or three seconds, then he's gonna blow your head off.
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I got no choice.
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It's like a chicken walking in
the front door of Colonel Sanders.
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I'm gonna do it.
Will you wish me luck?
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I'd like to wish you a bullet-proof
vest. That's what I'd like to wish you.
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Oh. Good luck.
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Hey, don't worry. I'll be back.
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I'll see you, little brother.
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Okay.
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[SIGHS]
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I hope so, big brother.
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[GUN COCKS]
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[
]
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[IN SWEDISH ACCENT]
Look at this, Randolph.
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They're showing printed bed sheets
in the States now.
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Oh, they're so pretty.
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And Bloomingdale's
has them one-third off.
168
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,716
Do you think could they send them
to Ecuador? Randolph?
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Randolph!
What?
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00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,436
Do you think Bloomingdale's
will send me sheets if I order them?
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00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,438
What are you talking about, Ingrid?
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Of course, we really need that.
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We really need flowered sheets
in Ecuador,
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to attract even more mosquitoes.
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00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,197
Randolph?
Uh, what, dear?
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I hate you.
Yes, love.
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I hate Ecuador.
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I hate this jungle.
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I hate the people.
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I hate the bugs.
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I hate this drink.
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I hate this table.
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I hate everything, Randolph.
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Randolph!
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00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,519
See, I'm talking to myself.
186
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,838
I live in the jungle
with a man in a coma.
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I have boa constrictors in my house.
188
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,394
My backyard is a swamp.
189
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,000
Our neighbours are headhunters.
190
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,192
It's very nice.
191
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:11,035
Maybe House Beautiful
would like to do a cover.
192
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,879
[LAUGHS]
193
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,589
Listen to the moron.
194
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,998
Look at this, Ingrid. Look at this.
Do you know what this is?
195
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,840
It's an X, you twit.
196
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,317
It's the buried Amazon treasure,
197
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,194
and it's right here,
exactly on this spot.
198
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,198
It's an X, Randolph.
199
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,837
You wrote it with your ballpoint pen.
I just saw you.
200
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,271
I've been working on these
calculations for years.
201
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,520
It's the buried Inca treasure. Ingrid,
we're going there. This could be big.
202
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,313
Oh, my God. I don't believe it.
203
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,991
Oh, believe it. Believe it.
We'll find a fortune. Ho-ho.
204
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,669
My God, Randolph, it's Corinne.
205
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,394
She's been arrested.
206
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,752
Randolph, you moron, look.
Who's that?
207
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,077
Corinne!
Who's Corinne?
208
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,397
What's the matter with you,
you idiot?
209
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,114
You have jungle rot up the brain?
210
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,800
Corinne.
211
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,992
Oh, Corinne. Yes. Ha. Ha.
212
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,590
That can't be Corinne.
Corinne's just a baby.
213
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,951
Randolph, will you look
at what it says?
214
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,833
She's been arrested for murder.
215
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,040
[GASPS]
216
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,192
I must go to her, Randolph.
I must go.
217
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,517
She needs me. I must go.
218
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,951
Oh, I need my papers, I need tickets.
219
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,800
I need reservations. I need my shots.
220
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,754
Oh, my God, I need winter clothes.
221
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,670
Wonderful. Where am I going to get
a fur in Quito, Ecuador?
222
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,190
Randolph, you must come with me.
223
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,120
To the furrier's?
There's no furrier in Ecuador.
224
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,880
No, no, no,
to Dunn's River, Connecticut.
225
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,560
Never. I'll never go back there.
226
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:42,276
Never, ever, ever,
will I go back to Dunn's River. Ha!
227
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,949
I'd sooner throw myself
to the piranhas.
228
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,516
Fine. I'll draw it on the map.
229
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,236
I believe there are some
right next to the X.
230
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,400
Ahem.
231
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:01,516
[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
232
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,197
[
]
233
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,757
[
]
234
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,757
[DOGS BARKING]
235
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:26,876
[SCREAMING]
236
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,471
Don't move. I'll kill you, I swear it.
237
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,672
I'm not moving. I'm not moving.
238
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:32,880
Who are you?
239
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,474
What the hell are you doing here?
Shh! Shh!
240
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,273
Please.
Don't "shush" me, you idiot.
241
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,120
I live here.
I... I'm not gonna hurt you, I swear.
242
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,391
Of course not. I've got the gun.
243
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,513
True. Listen, I just came to talk,
that's all, really.
244
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,473
Oh, he came to talk.
245
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,519
Ahh... Listen, do you think
I could lower my arms?
246
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,315
I got bursitis in my shoulder.
247
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,639
You make one move, one false move,
and you'll be confetti.
248
00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:01,835
Okay, now slowly lower your arms.
249
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,430
Oh, thanks.
Now take off the mask.
250
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,720
[SIGHS]
251
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,795
Hi.
Hello.
252
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,151
Now, listen,
I'm not a burglar or anything.
253
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,953
Are you a rapist?
No.
254
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,311
No, no, no, I'm...
I'm nothing like that. Uh-uh.
255
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,400
Oh. Heh. Well, I wish you could have
broken in a couple of hours ago,
256
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,239
when I had some makeup on.
257
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,911
Yeah, listen, the reason that I came
here was to talk to Mr. Lefkowitz.
258
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,156
Is he around anywhere?
259
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,831
Hey, what I wanna know
is how'd you get past Daddy's security system? Fly?
260
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,110
He's your father?
261
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,516
No, I'm living in this fortress
because I'm Rapunzel.
262
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,792
Oh, wow. I didn't know
he was your father.
263
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,676
Are you absolutely sure
you're not a rapist?
264
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,280
Well, no.
265
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,870
I mean, no, I'm not.
No, I'm not a rapist.
266
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,357
Listen, your old man's
got a contract out on me.
267
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,279
What do you think my chances
will be of talking him out of it?
268
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:54,480
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
269
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,074
MAN:
You all right, Miss Lefkowitz?
270
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,431
I'm fine.
271
00:13:58,640 --> 00:13:59,756
MAN:
Sorry to bother you.
272
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,111
We thought there might be a prowler.
The dogs are going crazy.
273
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,755
Well, if you'd stop beating them
and start feeding them,
274
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,872
maybe they'd calm down, you yutz.
275
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,118
Thanks.
What's your name?
276
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,039
Danny.
I'm Elaine.
277
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,390
Hi.
278
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,600
[CHUCKLES] Hi.
279
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,592
Oh, God. I hope he doesn't kill you.
You're adorable.
280
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:22,920
Heh. Somehow,
I don't think my looks are gonna carry much weight with him.
281
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,634
Well, maybe I can help you.
282
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:25,910
How?
283
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,634
Well, he is my father.
284
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,320
Boy, I'd really appreciate it.
285
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,240
And how would you show
your appreciation?
286
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,636
Well, I'd thank you.
287
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,872
Maybe, uh... Maybe buy you a gift.
288
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,594
Eh-eh.
289
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,998
Well, I, uh...
I don't know what you want.
290
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,351
Get your clothes off.
291
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,237
[LAUGHING]
292
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,600
Cute. You got a sense of humour.
Heh-heh-heh.
293
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,314
I said, get your clothes off.
294
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,554
What, are you serious? Heh-heh-heh.
295
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:00,790
[GUN COCKS]
296
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,280
You're serious.
297
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,192
Boy, this is gonna be tough.
298
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:15,110
I mean, under this kind of pressure,
don't expect much.
299
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,637
[
]
300
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:20,960
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
301
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,120
Come in.
302
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,194
Hi.
Hi, Ma.
303
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,631
What are you doing? Oh.
Just reading.
304
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,275
So how are you?
305
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,392
Ma, I saw you at dinner
10 minutes ago.
306
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,600
Oh, that's right.
307
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,871
How was work today?
It was easy.
308
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,958
Since it was Sunday
and I didn't go.
309
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,038
Was it Sunday? Heh-heh-heh.
310
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,800
How silly. Of course it was Sunday.
311
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,231
We had a fat newspaper and no mail.
312
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,158
Okay, Ma, what is it?
I don't know.
313
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,075
Well, I guess I'm just
a little worried about you.
314
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,670
Mom, are you afraid that I'm gonna
No.
315
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,837
Try to kill myself again?
Maybe. Yes.
316
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,918
Mom, no way.
317
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,552
I'm not gonna try that again.
318
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,400
I'm gonna be around
a long, long time.
319
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,674
Okay.
320
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,712
It's just a little hard for me now, Ma.
321
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,400
I know.
322
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,274
I have to start all over again.
323
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,398
You know, sometimes the nice thing
about having someone
324
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,116
is that you don't have to go through
those hard beginnings with someone else.
325
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,710
You have to meet people. Date.
326
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,513
Find someone
and hope you like them.
327
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,155
Then if you do, hope they like you.
328
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,194
Then if you make it that far,
where you both like each other,
329
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,120
you have to worry about, uh.
Will you still like each other
330
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,630
when you drop the good behaviour
and you can be yourself.
331
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,674
And once you make it through that,
where you're both yourselves,
332
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,075
and you both like each other,
333
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,273
you're up against worrying about
whether they'll leave.
334
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:51,917
But once you're convinced
that they won't leave and you won't leave,
335
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:55,397
and you're very happy together
and everything is finally wonderful,
336
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,592
what happens is they usually die.
337
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,154
Oh.
338
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,238
Did you come here to cheer me up?
339
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,199
[LAUGHS]
340
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,274
What I'm saying is things end,
341
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,312
so things have to begin.
342
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,560
There are no shortcuts.
343
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,195
You either go through
those beginnings or you wind up alone.
344
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,400
I know.
345
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,512
I'm just taking a time out, that's all.
346
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,518
Hey, I'm not gonna stay
in here forever.
347
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,200
Good.
Heh.
348
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,360
Hmm.
349
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,240
I mean, with all this reading
I'm doing, it would be a shame not to use it to impress somebody.
350
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,038
I love you.
I love you too. Hmm.
351
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,595
[
]
352
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,075
[DOOR CLOSES]
353
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,958
Look, I don't understand.
354
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,800
What is this bail?
Why can't you get it?
355
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,754
The bail is $150,000, Jessica.
356
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,838
That's an enormous
amount of money.
357
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,680
I'll get it, but it may take me
more than one day.
358
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,920
You mean you have to give them
$150,000 to get Corinne back?
359
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,120
That's right.
360
00:17:56,280 --> 00:18:00,672
Are they crazy? You have to buy back
your own daughter?
361
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,792
That's not quite what bail is, Mother.
362
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,640
I mean, they could take
a different child every week
363
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,718
and charge for it.
364
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:12,392
Ooh, they'd have one terrific little
business going for themselves there.
365
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,641
All right. What's going on?
366
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,518
Will somebody please tell me
what's going on?
367
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,633
Nothing's going on, Billy.
Bull.
368
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,634
I beg your pardon?
I said, bull.
369
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,400
[SOFTLY] Ah.
370
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,037
Corinne's been arrested
and nothing's going on?
371
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,152
Oh, we're going to get her back
tomorrow, dear.
372
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,158
Daddy's going to buy her back.
373
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:37,238
You know, I'm a member
of this family too.
374
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,160
I may be short, I may not shave yet,
but I do live in this house.
375
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,880
Well, of course
you live in this house.
376
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,072
Your bedroom's right upstairs.
377
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,115
The second door on the left.
378
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,677
All my life, every time I walk
into a room, people stop talking.
379
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,553
Years ago, everyone used to spell
in front of me.
380
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,797
Then once I could spell,
they talked in pig Latin.
381
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,354
After that, it was French.
382
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,279
And then they didn't understand
each other.
383
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,960
I mean,
do you know what that's like?
384
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,918
In school, the teacher says I have
trouble in comprehension.
385
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:07,716
Of course I have trouble
in comprehension. I live in a silent movie.
386
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,592
We tell you things, Billy.
387
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,953
We just do it the way Juan Valdez
picks out his coffee beans.
388
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,514
Right.
389
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,192
He just gives us the good beans.
390
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,271
He never lets us see
the bad beans. Heh.
391
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,359
We just don't give you
any bad beans.
392
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:33,880
Like Corinne being in jail?
393
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,400
Uh... Right.
394
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,990
Mm-hm. That would be a bad bean.
395
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,237
Corinne getting married,
on the other hand,
396
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:41,590
would be a good bean.
397
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,190
Corinne having a baby
would be a good bean.
398
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,959
Right. Heh.
399
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,841
[WHISPERING]
Unless, of course, she weren't married in the first place,
400
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,714
in which case that would be
a very bad bean.
401
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,878
Wonderful.
So when my sister goes to jail,
402
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,560
I have to read about it
in the paper.
403
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,150
You know, I do read.
Oh, it's in the paper?
404
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,760
BILLY:
And with her picture.
405
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,679
Oh, my. That's an awful picture.
406
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,679
Look, that's her high school
graduation picture.
407
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,837
She looks chubby, like Daddy.
408
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,958
She has a beautiful smile, though,
doesn't she? Look at her dimples.
409
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,879
Corinne didn't murder anyone.
410
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,200
I know that. She calls me
into her room to kill a bug.
411
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,441
How could she kill a person?
412
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,592
What I wanna know is,
what is she doing in jail?
413
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,111
Well, uh, Corinne's arrest
was a mistake, Billy.
414
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,640
I heard everyone's a suspect.
415
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,001
I heard that you're a suspect,
I heard Mom's a suspect.
416
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,196
Why are you all suspects?
417
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,279
Well, we're not e-ex...
Exactly suspects, uh...
418
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,439
What Daddy means
is that they're sort of second-string suspects.
419
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,950
Why don't you tell the kid the truth?
420
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,231
He's gonna hear about it anyway.
421
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,440
Benson.
422
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,919
Better he hears it from you
than from Walter Cronkite.
423
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:53,273
Benson, I think I'm capable
of raising my own child.
424
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,837
Well, you're certainly doing
a wonderful job so far.
425
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,037
Chester, psst,
426
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,469
Benson is right.
427
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,400
If he is going to know,
he should know from us.
428
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,991
But what is there to know, Jessica?
There is nothing for him to know.
429
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,237
He wants to know
why we are suspects.
430
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,272
There is something for him to know.
431
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,269
We can't tell him that.
He's too young. He, uh...
432
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,874
Billy, come sit down next to Mommy.
Come on.
433
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,915
Now, you remember what I told you
about the good and the bad beans?
434
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,679
Well, what you're about to hear
435
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,076
is going to sound like
some very bad beans.
436
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:37,309
In fact, if Juan Valdez
had beans like these,
437
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,911
that man would shoot his donkey
and burn the mountain.
438
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:42,156
[INAUDIBLE]
439
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,317
[
]
440
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,957
You talking to me?
441
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,240
Well, I'm the only one here,
wise guy. Heh.
442
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:05,357
Ha-ha.
You are talking to me, aren't you? And I'm... I'm talking to you.
443
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,439
And what are you going to say?
444
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,154
Tha... Ha-ha. Hi, there. I...
445
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,481
Ahem. I was just practising.
446
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,757
You can never be too prepared
in this business. Heh.
447
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,191
Gotta keep the old
reflexes well-oiled, If you know what I mean.
448
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,472
Uh... Would you mind not waving
that thing around?
449
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,034
Oh, don't worry.
450
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,197
I'm in total control.
451
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,400
[GUN CLATTERS]
452
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,560
What can I do for you?
453
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,991
I want to see Corinne Tate.
454
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,032
I'm sorry.
She's not having any visitors.
455
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,278
My dear man, I am not a visitor.
456
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,596
[MIMICS INGRID]
"A visitor."
457
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:39,800
[CHUCKLES]
458
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,914
You sound funny. You must be
one of them there foreigners, huh?
459
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,599
I am Ingrid Svenson,
460
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,032
and I am Corinne's mother.
461
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,356
What?
462
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,631
Here is the proof.
463
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,355
Just look at that.
464
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,157
[
]
465
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:05,960
[
]
466
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,476
ANNOUNCER:
Will Burt's investigationprove that Corinne is guilty?
467
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,354
Or will it prove that Burt is bonkers?
468
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,553
Will Elaine talk to her fatheron Danny's behalf?
469
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,513
Will her father let Danny go?
470
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:20,111
If he does, will Elainelet Danny out the door?
471
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,154
Is Ingrid Svensonreally Corinne's mother?
472
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,558
Or is this some kind oftraditional Swedish prank?
473
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,433
These questions and many others
474
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,316
will be answeredon next week's episode of Soap.
475
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,117
[
]
476
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,117
Soap is videotapedin front of a studio audience.
477
00:23:45,167 --> 00:23:49,717
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