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[
]
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ANNOUNCER:
This is the story of two sisters:
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00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,472
Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
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Jessica lives in a neighbourhoodknown as rich.
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Jessica likes life.
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The only thing about lifeshe would change, if she could,
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is that she wouldset it all to music.
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The Tates have more secretsthan they do money.
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We're approachingMary Campbell's house.
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Mary, too, likes life.
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Unfortunately, life doesn'tseem to be too crazy about her.
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As you can see, the Campbellsdon't have nearly as much moneyas the Tates.
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They do, however,have as many secrets.
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00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,633
In last week's episode of Soap
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Chester's secretary, Claire,
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had arranged forChester's mistress, Pigeon,
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to find them together at lunch,
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thus ending Chester'srelationship with Pigeon.
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But that's not all.
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Claire has threatened to reportChester's illegal business activities
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if Chester doesn't divorce Jessica.
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Jessica has tried to end itwith Peter, but couldn't,
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but tells Mary she'll see him againto see if she can.
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Jodie has found thathis quarterback boyfriend,
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in order to protect his image,has a girlfriend.
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Jodie tells him that since he'splanning a sex-change operationfor that very same reason,
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his boyfriend can get ridof his girlfriend.
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Danny has tried to followthe Godfather's ordersto kill Burt, but couldn't.
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Confused? You won't beafter this week's episode of Soap.
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I'm trying, Godfather, I'm trying.
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I mean, it's not the easiest thing
in the world to do.
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Well, well... Well, uh...
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Well, he... He took
the gun out of my hand.
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He took the gun out of my hand.
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It's a long story.
I can't go into it...
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Hi, Danny.
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[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
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I thought I'd make us
some blueberry pancakes this morning.
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Great.
Oh, I love blueberry pancakes.
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Reminds me of my
childhood in Pittsburgh.
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00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,272
Not that we actually grew
blueberries in Pittsburgh.
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Nothing actually grows
in Pittsburgh,
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but I always wanted
blueberry pancakes. I can't... Hello?
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They hung up.
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Hi, big brother.
Hey, little brother.
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Cooking breakfast, Burt?
Yep.
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Well, I hope your cooking
here is more successful than it is upstairs.
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What are you talking about?
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00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,629
Just a little something
I found in your bathroom this morning.
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00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,991
The Cookbook of Sex.
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00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,715
For a second there, Burt,
I thought that the Happy Hooker
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and the Galloping Gourmet
had decided to collaborate.
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Just give me the book.
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I couldn't help but browse.
You know how I love to cook.
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I figured I could find all sorts
of wonderful things I could do with a duck.
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Quack, quack.
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Stop.
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Sit down and eat your breakfasts.
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Sit.
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If anyone's interested,
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I've thought it over and I have
definitely decided to go ahead with the sex-change operation.
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[LAUGHING]
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He's starting with that
sex-change stuff again.
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00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,958
Could we talk about this later?
People are eating.
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00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,674
There's nothing to talk about.
I start the shots next week.
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00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,799
What shots?
The hormone shots.
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My hips will become rounded.
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[DANNY LAUGHING]
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My facial hair will fall out.
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Oh, what a sense of humour.
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I mean, this guy
would actually go out
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and get those shots
if he thought it would make us laugh.
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Shots! I love it.
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We'll talk about this later.
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Burt, remember, 2:00 today.
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Oh, I can't.
I can't today, Mary. I can't.
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The bricklayers
are coming tomorrow,
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and the guys haven't finished
pouring the foundation yet.
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I mean, the foundation doesn't
get poured, bricks don't get laid.
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Bricks?
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The man's worried about bricks?
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Burt, Dr. Medlow
is a very busy man.
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This is the only appointment
he could give us. We can't cancel.
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All right, all right, all right.
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The Dr. Medlow?
Knock it off. You don't know him.
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Oh, not personally.
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I've never had the need
to consult a sex psychiatrist.
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He happens to be
a dermatologist.
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Oh, come on, Burt.
I know what Dr. Medlow does.
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00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,758
And what you don't.
Oh, I'm gonna...
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And I'm the one who
should see a psychiatrist?
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00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,838
Mary, those two boys
are on a banana boat.
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00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,794
You got one son
about to buy his first bra
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and another who thinks
that's hysterical.
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And I'm the one you want
to take to a psychiatrist.
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Come on, darling.
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I'm sure Dr. Medlow will
get to the bottom of the problem in no time.
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00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,356
And it'll turn out to be
a simple thing. You'll see.
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Hmph. Simple thing.
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A simple thing.
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I mean, I should go to
a psychiatrist to find out why I'm impotent?
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I know why I'm impotent.
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I'm impotent because every
time I go to make love to you,
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I see before me
the face of your dead husband.
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The man I murdered.
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00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,111
I mean, just see something like that
and then try to get in the mood.
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Now I'm gonna pay a psychiatrist
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to find out what I already know,
which I'm hiding.
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All right, give me a break,
will you?
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[STAMMERING]
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Damn.
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[
]
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Claire, would you stop?
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Claire, I cannot talk now.
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No, I will not come with you
to the furrier.
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I have to go to the
decorators with Jessica.
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No, I don't care what kind
of fur it is.
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Don't threaten me.
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Fine. I'll, uh...
I'll see you in half an hour.
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Of course I care.
Yes, I care.
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Goodbye.
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My, my, my.
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Benson, what is that
supposed to mean?
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Just what I said.
"My, my, my."
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Chester, are you ready
to go, dear?
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Jessica.
Yes?
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You didn't hear?
What?
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You mean you slept
right through it?
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00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,590
You didn't hear me
moan all night?
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00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,952
Oh, no, Chester.
I am sorry. I was sleeping.
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00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,472
I thought I was dying, Jessica.
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From what?
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From?
Mm.
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From my arm.
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[BENSON CHUCKLES]
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Well, Chester,
what's the matter with it?
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Well, look. It looks
perfectly normal, I know,
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but it won't go up.
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I cannot raise my arm, Jessica.
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Dear.
So I can't go with you.
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Of course not, Chester.
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I mean, you have to go
to the doctor right away.
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Mr. Tate?
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Well, siree, will you
look at that? A miracle.
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Oh, darling, You're cured.
Benson has cured you.
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00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,640
No, he hasn't, Jessica.
He hasn't at all.
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Because, you see,
now I can't lower my arm.
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00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,598
Well, you can't drive like that.
149
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,476
Maybe Mrs. Tate
should take you to the doctor.
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00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,912
You're absolutely right,
Benson. Chester?
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00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,759
No, no, I'll be fine.
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00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,236
I have power steering.
I can drive with one hand.
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00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,870
Oh, yeah? Well, what are you
gonna do with that arm?
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00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,318
I will stick it through
the sunroof, Benson.
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00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,837
[
]
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00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,716
But you see her all the time.
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I told you, it's a front.
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I mean, the girl means
nothing to me. It's for my image.
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00:08:35,376 --> 00:08:37,776
Well, Dennis,
if it's for your image, you made a lousy choice.
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00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:41,316
I mean, nobody wears their
hair in a beehive anymore.
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00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,432
Oh, my God.
What? A reporter?
162
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:46,712
No, my cousin.
Listen, you'd better go and don't turn around.
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00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,594
How can I go without
turning around? The door's behind me.
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00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,757
I don't know.
You're the football player.
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Oh, my God. My cousin's here.
You'd better go.
166
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,312
Hello.
Hi.
167
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:08,439
Well, this is a surprise.
Yes, yes.
168
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,872
Are you alone, or can I join you?
Oh, no, please sit down. I'm alone.
169
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,675
That's funny. I thought
you were with somebody.
170
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:15,990
That guy? No.
171
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,874
That was just some weirdo
who tried to pick me up.
172
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,113
But weren't you with...?
No, no, no. Same thing.
173
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,232
Some weirdo tried to pick me up.
174
00:09:26,096 --> 00:09:29,096
It's funny, Eunice,
that guy you were with looked exactly like Congressman...
175
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,839
It wasn't.
I could have sworn...
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00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,716
No. But the guy you
were with looked exactly like that football player...
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00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,479
No, no, no. Well, ye...
178
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:40,356
No. Yes, it looks like him.
No, it wasn't. Football.
179
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,313
So you come all the way out
180
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,513
to Union City, New Jersey
for lunch often?
181
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,760
Yes. It's the food.
I love the food here.
182
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,236
They make the most
marvellous chef's salad.
183
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,598
And you?
We're thinking of shooting
184
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,440
a commercial here. I was out
scouting locations and stuff.
185
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,869
Uh-huh.
186
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,033
Thank you.
187
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:09,755
I was starving.
Ah.
188
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,395
Do you want your lunches
here, sir, or at your table?
189
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,832
I'll have my lunches here,
please. Thank you.
190
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,200
Four chef's salads
and two people.
191
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,153
What's wrong with this picture?
192
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,471
That was Congressman
McCallam, wasn't it, hm?
193
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,559
Well, I'm covering his campaign
and I was interviewing him.
194
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,713
You gonna tell me
he holds hands with Woodward and Bernstein too?
195
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,431
Jodie, please don't tell anyone.
196
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,040
Please.
197
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,074
I'm gonna tell?
My whole life's a secret.
198
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,958
That was. That was Dennis Phillips,
the quarterback, wasn't it?
199
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,919
So it's you and the congressman.
200
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,560
You and the quarterback.
201
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,230
Wonderful, isn't it?
202
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,397
Well, now, plus which
Walter's married,
203
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,800
so we have to be very careful.
204
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,440
Oh, we don't?
You think Dennis takes me
205
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:09,837
to the Touchdown Club dinners
as his date?
206
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,953
"Hey, fellas,
I want you to meet..."
207
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,194
Well, at least you get to be with him.
With Walter's campaign, I don't even get to see him anymore.
208
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,671
Please. Do you know
how hard training camp is?
209
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,553
I mean, the man
comes home exhausted.
210
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,594
Plus which,
now he's seeing a girl.
211
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,196
A girl? Walter's got a wife.
212
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:32,276
Eunice, do you realise,
in the 20-odd years of knowing each other,
213
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,473
that this is the first time
that we've talked?
214
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:39,031
Well, I never knew you were nice.
I never knew you were.
215
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:43,274
When we were younger,
I used to hate you. You used to steal my clothes.
216
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,113
You had such nice things.
217
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,000
Well, listen,
you have a few minutes?
218
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,516
I mean, it's been so long
since I've had anyone to talk to.
219
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,076
And it's incredible.
We have something in common.
220
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,471
Yeah, we both date guys.
221
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,072
[
]
222
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,350
[
]
223
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,120
Uh-uh. I'm not saying one word,
Mary. I want you to know that.
224
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,360
Wonderful, Burt.
225
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,597
We're going to pay
a psychiatrist $50 an hour.
226
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,553
We'll play 20 questions.
227
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,793
Look at this place.
Look at it. It's for lunatics.
228
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:19,879
What are you talking about, Burt?
It's a perfectly nice, normal office.
229
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,793
Perfectly normal? Look at this.
230
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,391
Sexual Perversion,Fact or Fiction? Normal?
231
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,353
Sexuality in lnfancy.
232
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,359
Oh, that's nice. I like that a lot.
233
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:34,315
The Frigid Woman.The Impotent Male. That's it. I'm leaving.
234
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,993
Come on, Burt.
235
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,396
Dr. Medlow has
a wonderful reputation.
236
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,273
He's an M.D., for God's sake.
237
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,115
M.D.? In his case,
it means "mentally deranged."
238
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,199
Mary, look at this place.
The man is sick.
239
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,840
Burt, what are you
talking about?
240
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,713
Well, just look. Look.
Don't you see it?
241
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,919
I see some nice,
contemporary furniture.
242
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,955
A ficus he's killing
by over-watering.
243
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,836
No, the man is sick, Mary.
And I'm leaving.
244
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,999
You hear me? He's sick, Mary.
Sick, sick, sick...
245
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:06,789
I was just saying
246
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,229
how sick I was of sitting.
247
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,830
So I thought I would try standing,
and now I'm kind of sick of standing.
248
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,600
So I think I'll try some walking.
Burt...
249
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,992
Walking has gotten me
fed up already, so I think I'll just try more sitting.
250
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,640
I'm Dr. Medlow, and you're...
251
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,360
Mr. and Mrs. Murray Fleischman.
252
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:21,914
Burt!
253
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,840
I don't understand. My file says
"Mary and Burt Campbell."
254
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,360
That's it. Campbell.
255
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,392
Why don't we all sit down?
256
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,637
You had to give him
our real name?
257
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,353
So, what brings you here?
258
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,677
Well...
Nothing.
259
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,229
Mrs. Campbell?
We're having a problem.
260
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,114
No, we're not. It's not a problem.
I see.
261
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,834
Mrs. Campbell,
262
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,997
what is this problem
that you're having
263
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,714
that Mr. Campbell
doesn't have?
264
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,554
Oh, I don't have a problem.
265
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,433
Burt has the problem.
266
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:53,915
It's not a problem.
267
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:55,320
All right.
268
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,830
What is this problem
that you don't have
269
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,440
that she thinks you have?
270
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,275
Ha. Well, it's...
271
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,278
The man's a total stranger, Mary.
272
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,358
He can't have sex with me.
273
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,115
Ah! Wonderful.
A perfect stranger.
274
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,716
Tell the world, Mary.
Let's put an ad in the newspaper.
275
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:21,072
Or better yet, let's put it in the
yellow pages under "Burt."
276
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,914
And how long has this
been going on?
277
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,349
Two days.
Burt!
278
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,917
Well, not long.
Six months.
279
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,840
Mr. Campbell, I realise
you're embarrassed by this,
280
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,914
but let me reassure you,
281
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,152
this is a very common problem.
282
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,639
Everyone, absolutely everyone,
has this problem at one time or another in their life.
283
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,593
Everyone?
Oh, absolutely.
284
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,120
And many things can bring it on.
285
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,154
Fear, worry, medication,
financial problems,
286
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,750
something in one's past, guilt.
287
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,951
And everyone experiences it.
I've had it.
288
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,392
You have?
Yes.
289
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:58,960
What caused it?
290
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,479
Well, in my case,
it was a Playboy bunny.
291
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,437
Just a weekend. Ahem.
292
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,313
Now, there are a variety of ways
293
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,718
to treat this problem,
depending, of course,
294
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,513
on the reason for the problem.
295
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,714
Sometimes, a few sessions
of talking is all it takes.
296
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,310
Other times, when the problem's
a little deeper,
297
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,716
we try a regular form
of therapy,
298
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,593
a change in one's life.
299
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,235
Sometimes we bring in
a sexual surrogate and...
300
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,039
A sexual surrogate?
301
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,715
A woman very experienced
in the art of lovemaking
302
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,754
who helps a man regain
his confidence in himself.
303
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,959
Now, that isn't...
Are they good-looking?
304
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,072
Burt!
I beg your pardon?
305
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,073
Well, I mean, how old are they?
Burt!
306
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,920
Well, Mary, wait a second.
The man's a doctor.
307
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,077
I don't think that
that has anything to do...
308
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,873
He's an M.D.,
for goodness' sake.
309
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,869
Let's just listen
to what the man has to say.
310
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,951
Is there a choice?
You got pictures?
311
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,837
[
]
312
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,999
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Yes, my child.
313
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,471
It's been two months
since my last confession.
314
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,996
Yes, child.
I have been with five men.
315
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,439
Corinne?
316
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,717
Somebody's asked me
to move in with him.
317
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,350
Corinne, enough.
To live in sin.
318
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,798
That's it. I'm putting my fingers
in my ears. I won't listen.
319
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,913
Why? I can confess.
320
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,318
Corinne, you're not
even Catholic.
321
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,919
What has that got to do with it?
322
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,152
I asked you not to come here.
323
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:57,031
But I can't stand
not seeing you, Tim. I just can't stand it.
324
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:01,593
No! Don't do that!
325
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,712
No, don't do that.
326
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,070
Please, Tim.
327
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,358
Go back in there.
Come on, go.
328
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,517
You know why I've sinned, Tim.
329
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,471
It's because I can't have you.
Why won't you see me?
330
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,877
I'm a priest, Corinne.
331
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,630
But you're still a man.
332
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,315
I took a vow.
333
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,916
Ministers do it. Why can't you?
334
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,712
Is this a test?
335
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:37,116
Tim, remember the first time
you kissed me?
336
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,595
Remember?
337
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,269
I still get goosebumps
when I think about it.
338
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,560
Corinne, that was
in the 5th grade.
339
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,031
You loved me. In high school,
you told me you loved me.
340
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,641
In high school,
I was also a member
341
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,197
of the Purple Avengers
and swallowed goldfish.
342
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,477
You love me and I love you,
343
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,149
so why can't we be together?
It's not fair.
344
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,437
Because he won't allow it.
345
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,518
Don't be ridiculous.
I mean, what did you do,
346
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,837
have a personal conversation
with him and he said,
347
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,918
"No, Tim, no whoopee"?
348
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,077
Corinne, Corinne,
we're talking about God here.
349
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,033
Oh, come on.
What's he gonna do?
350
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,630
Smite you with his
terrible swift sword?
351
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,119
Joke, she's joking. Joke.
352
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,270
All right. All right,
I'll leave you alone. I won't tempt you.
353
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,037
Aw, you've made
the choice for me.
354
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,153
I'm gonna go live
with that man, Tim.
355
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,910
And I will be with that man.
356
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,839
And I will do with that man...
357
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,520
Oh, God.
358
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,680
What?
359
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,639
I said, "Go with God."
360
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,715
Is that all? Is that all
you have to say to me? Tim?
361
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,756
For your penance,
say two rosaries every morning
362
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,236
for the next two, three years.
363
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,880
What, are you crazy?
I'm not even Catholic.
364
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,834
[
]
365
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,559
Now, let me see
if I understood this.
366
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,070
You said we can't see
each other anymore, right?
367
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,317
That's right.
And we can't see each other anymore
368
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,000
because someone
is moving in with you?
369
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,074
That's right.
Someone is moving in. I love it.
370
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,796
A man who has his mattress
replaced every 10 days is making a commitment.
371
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,997
Gee, you're taking this so well.
372
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,600
Please, don't be upset.
373
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,678
Upset? Don't be silly.
374
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,071
Guys like you
are a dime a dozen.
375
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,158
Look, it's gonna
be better for you anyway.
376
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:31,360
Please.
377
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:32,520
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
378
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,797
Gosh! It's Corinne.
Look, baby, I'm sorry. We'll talk about this more.
379
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,480
Maybe we can work
something out, okay?
380
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,876
Yeah. Well, thanks
for nothing.
381
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,311
What, are you crazy?
I'm not going out there.
382
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,113
That 400-pound blimp
on the tennis court
383
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,198
is my brother-in-law.
The man hates me.
384
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,073
Do you know how
he'd love seeing this?
385
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,590
He'd be on the phone with
my husband in a second.
386
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,712
Go in the bathroom for a second.
387
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,675
Jessica?
Hello, Peter. May I come in?
388
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,872
I have an appointment.
389
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,037
Thank you, Peter.
390
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,519
Peter, this is not
going to be easy,
391
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,871
so I'm going to do it
as quickly as possible.
392
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,480
Good.
393
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,000
It's over between us.
394
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,200
Oh, gee.
395
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,754
Yes.
396
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,918
I'm leaving you, Peter.
397
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,476
Now, it should never
have happened, you know.
398
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,194
Well, of course, it did happen,
399
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,591
but it is never
going to happen again.
400
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,269
And Peter, I'm... I'm sorry
if your heart is breaking.
401
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,517
Well...
Your shower just went on.
402
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,074
[SHOWER RUNNING]
403
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,078
Oh, right, I know. It does that.
404
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,670
Goes on by itself all the time.
You know, plumbing.
405
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,635
Well, as I was saying, Peter...
I know, Jess. It's over.
406
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,833
Yes, and I'm sorry.
I mean, I'm really sorry.
407
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,360
I'm sorry if I've hurt you.
408
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:46,560
[SHOWER STOPS]
409
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,552
I'm sorry... It just went off.
What?
410
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,194
Your shower. It just went off.
411
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,954
Oh, I know. It does that too.
412
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,880
Someone in Connecticut
flushes their toilet, my shower goes off.
413
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,118
You know, sometimes I'm left
with soap all over my body.
414
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,516
Peter, will you ever forgive me?
415
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,838
Oh, I do. I do.
I forgive you. I really do.
416
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,430
Oh, dear sweet boy,
standing there,
417
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,677
whom I've just left
with a broken heart
418
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,270
and a shower that doesn't work.
419
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,075
Goodbye, Peter.
I'll always remember you.
420
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,316
Goodbye.
421
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,234
Mother!
422
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,679
Corinne!
423
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,513
Corinne, this is not
what you think it is.
424
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,598
What do you think it is?
425
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,638
This is really the limit, Mother.
426
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,718
When I was 8,
you took away my cap pistol.
427
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,196
And when I was 13,
you took away my eye shadow.
428
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:35,959
But this...
429
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,640
PETER:
Corinne, wait!
430
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,197
Oh, my God.
431
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:45,474
Oh, God, how could this happen?
I always tried to be good.
432
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,114
I took care of my family,
433
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,280
served on committees,
I read to the blind.
434
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,599
And now. Now I've had an affair
with my step-nephew.
435
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,757
Or is he my nephew by marriage?
436
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,429
Let's see. No, wait, he's my
sister's second husband's son,
437
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,838
so that makes him
my step-nephew by marriage.
438
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,520
Is that right?
439
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,960
What does it matter?
Whoever he is, he's in love with my daughter.
440
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,430
And I mean, she isn't
even my daughter.
441
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,836
She's the illegitimate
daughter of...
442
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,918
Oh, my God.
443
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,676
Mrs. Tate?
444
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,672
Hello, Mrs. Fine. I...
445
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,998
Well, I didn't know
you were here.
446
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,590
Where were you?
In the bathroom.
447
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,320
Oh?
Cleaning.
448
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,520
Cleaning?
449
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,160
Yes, I was cleaning.
450
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,238
I know this may
sound silly, Mrs. Tate,
451
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,080
but I love to clean.
I just love it.
452
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,749
And ever since my husband
got me a maid,
453
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,316
I have nothing
to clean anymore. Nothing.
454
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,438
I see.
455
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:48,750
What are you doing here?
456
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:50,395
Me?
Mm-hm.
457
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,717
Uh, decorating.
458
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,677
Decorating?
Yes. Oh, I just love to decorate.
459
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,031
And, of course,
my house is already decorated,
460
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,152
and this poor boy's
apartment is just awful.
461
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,915
Decorating. Hm. Ahem.
462
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:06,759
Cleaning?
463
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,234
Goodbye, Mrs. Tate.
464
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,313
Goodbye, Mrs. Fine.
465
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,916
[
]
466
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,195
ANNOUNCER:
Will Corinne ever leaveFather Tim alone?
467
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,160
Will Corinne ever forgiveher mother for Peter?
468
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,199
Will Corinne ever forgivePeter for her mother?
469
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,478
Now that Jodie is going to becomehis boyfriend's girlfriend,
470
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,757
will his boyfriendget rid of his girlfriend?
471
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,992
Since Burt seemsunwilling to talk,
472
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,994
will the psychiatrist everbe able to cure his impotency?
473
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,799
Since Danny seems to be a klutz,
474
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,798
will he ever be able to kill Burt?
475
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:45,077
Will Burt be cured or killed?
476
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,317
These questions and many otherswill be answered
477
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:50,513
on next week's episode of Soap.
478
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,677
[
]
479
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,837
[
]
480
00:23:58,887 --> 00:24:03,437
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