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1
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,343
Yo, the stylish man
about town
2
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,079
whose brand-new
silk-lined
3
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:12,146
calfskin jacket.
4
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,982
Says, nay screams,
I'm bad,
5
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,651
I'm nationwide.
6
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:20,988
The salesperson says
it brings out the many
subtle shadings of me...
7
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,690
Pensive...
8
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,792
Strong...
9
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,395
Sexy.
10
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,863
Are you sure that
you're sexy, Mike?
11
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:32,566
For the real sexy,
I wear nothing
but the jacket.
12
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,203
Please stick with
pensive and strong.
13
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:36,270
NIKKI: Good morning.
14
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,471
Good morning.
15
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,107
Did anyone see
that documentary
16
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:40,808
on American pottery
last night?
17
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,044
Okay, why does everyone around
here think I'm the dull one?
18
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,246
I don't know, James.
19
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,014
Why don't we ask
your shiny rock collection?
20
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:50,618
Last night I watched
this beautiful video
about two lonely women
21
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,621
who find love and passion
in each other's arms.
22
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,356
Really?
What was it called?
23
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,191
I haven't
titled it yet.
24
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,130
Well, I wrote
a how-do-you-do letter
25
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,797
to my new
anonymous friend.
26
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,633
Paul, if you're using
the words anonymous
and friend together,
27
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,368
you're missing
the concept.
28
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,969
No, no, no.
She's my pen pal.
29
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:12,740
My church set us up
through their lonely
Christians program.
30
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,544
Okay, again I'd, like
to challenge my status
as the dull one.
31
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:21,315
In my letter I described
myself as witty,
well-read,
32
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,884
possessing a certain
natural grace.
33
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:28,556
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
34
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,844
Next order of business...
the office refrigerator.
35
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,182
Paul, as much as we admire
your thrift,
36
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:57,017
your leftovers are becoming
a danger to the community.
37
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,954
Is that nasty half-eaten
tuna fish sandwich
38
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,055
still in there?
39
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:05,025
Oh, yeah. And it's taken
a bottle of ketchup
40
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,627
and two ring dings hostage.
41
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,531
The dry cleaner said he can
clean the coat, no problem.
42
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,665
I love Mr. Kim.
43
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,234
Yeah, but he was lying.
44
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,568
How can you
possibly know that?
45
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,004
Oh, I can tell
when people are lying.
It's a gift.
46
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,539
You know, I have a friend
who can do the same thing.
47
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,208
No, you don't.
48
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,848
Okay, it's a friend
of a friend.
49
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,218
So the other day
when Carter said
he was feeling sick
50
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,220
and he had to
go home early...
51
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,590
Hey, I...
I was feeling a little...
52
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,058
Sale at Barney's.
53
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:45,533
What if I were to say
that I were the world's
greatest lover.
54
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,835
I'd say you believe it
to be true.
55
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,305
All right. That's good
enough for me.
56
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,377
Okay Last item.
The Mayor's daughter Meg
57
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,979
is flying in from
Berkeley for a visit.
Why is this good news?
58
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:02,550
'Cause it means college girls
are on vacation?
59
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,352
No. It is an opportunity
to show him
60
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,388
as a normal family guy,
a struggling single parent
61
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,390
like any other struggling
single parent,
62
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:12,726
except for the mansion,
the limo, and the staff
of servants.
63
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,028
She was adorable
in the Mayor's campaign ads.
64
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,030
That girl scout uniform
was a real vote-getter.
65
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,966
I wonder if she could
still squeeze into it.
66
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:22,403
Hi, everybody.
Hey, Meg. How are you?
67
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:23,804
Good.
68
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,006
I'd like to see her try.
69
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,142
Stuart?
70
00:03:29,277 --> 00:03:30,978
What? It wasn't me!
71
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,281
You are coming
along nicely.
72
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,485
Why don't we just wait till
after the press conference?
73
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,553
Come on. Your dad's
dying to see you.
74
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,689
And, uh, you look great.
75
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,324
You hate the shirt.
76
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,658
No, no,
I love the shirt.
77
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,193
They didn't have
one your size?
78
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,931
Then it's about
the belly ring,
isn't it?
79
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,101
I am crazy about
the belly ring.
80
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:58,306
Maybe we can hook
the shirt onto it.
81
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:00,874
Mike, this is my
favorite shirt.
82
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,075
I am not gonna
defile it
83
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,312
by putting a piece
of metal through it.
84
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:10,050
If you have any
other problems with
my appearance, just...
85
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:12,820
You're staring
at my tattoo?
86
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,922
I was staring at your...
at your hair.
87
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,990
What's wrong
with my hair?
88
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,159
It's not covering
your tattoo.
89
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,463
You know, Mike,
I am this close
90
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:23,831
to giving you
a full-on lecture
91
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,599
on freedom of expression.
92
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,034
There you go.
No offense to you
93
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,969
or Mr. Three-Headed snake.
94
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,204
Okay, am I ready now?
95
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:34,342
Yeah. It's just you look
a little chilly. Here.
96
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,345
Why don't you
slip this on?
97
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:40,180
We are gonna have
so much fun today.
We got a lot of plans
98
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:41,815
like this afternoon we're
going down to Central Park.
99
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:45,118
We're gonna watch your dad
renew the city's hansom
cab licenses.
100
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,820
You always loved the horsies.
101
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,591
Mike, hansom cabs
are an abject form
of cruelty
102
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:51,992
in which beautiful animals
103
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:55,663
are subjected to
consistently
inhumane conditions.
104
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,565
I'll let you pet 'em.
105
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,036
Excuse me, everybody.
I'm sorry to interrupt, sir.
106
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,373
The Mayor's daughter
just arrived from college,
107
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,809
and the bond of love
between these two
108
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,244
is so strong
she literally
cannot wait
109
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,514
one more minute
to see her dad.
Go ahead.
110
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,419
Hello, Megan.
111
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,388
Hello, Father.
112
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,957
So for those of you who
are writing in your notepad,
113
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,394
that's surprise visit,
strong bond...
114
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,399
Touching family moment.
115
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,167
Is there anything there
for anonymous? That's me.
116
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:37,170
Paul, when a package
shows up addressed
to anonymous,
117
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,807
it usually winds up
in a special bin
downstairs
118
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:42,042
along with the mail
that ticks.
119
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,877
How about this, huh, huh?
Is this for me?
120
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,045
Unless you plan
to compete
121
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,748
in this year's
gay Olympics...No.
122
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,418
Huh. Now, the
pole vault...
123
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,787
Is that an actual event
124
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,189
or just something you do
at the party afterwards?
125
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,726
Oh, it's an event...
126
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,628
Right after
the homophobe toss.
127
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,296
I'm going up
to two, okay?
128
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:06,867
Maybe they got my
mail there by accident.
129
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,902
Is it my imagination,
or has Paul actually
130
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,338
become more
lonely and needy?
131
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,040
You know, we used
to have a ton of fun
132
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,174
when Paul was
with Claudia.
133
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,209
Who was Claudia,
a hypnotist?
134
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,146
James! I have got
an assignment for you.
135
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,915
I need you to hang out
with the Mayor's daughter.
136
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,551
I need that, too.
137
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:27,788
Just keep her
away from the Mayor
or any political event
138
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,458
Hey, Mike? I'm free.
139
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:34,094
Why wouldn't he ask
me to look after the
Mayor's daughter?
140
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,464
Same reason they don't
give guns to monkeys.
141
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:44,037
I thought we could
start by taking
a tour of the city.
142
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,540
James, I lived
in New York
my whole life.
143
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,143
Well, there's still
a lot of new stuff to see.
144
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,712
You ever seen
the Statue of Liberty?
145
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,581
I had sex in the torch.
146
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,084
Did you get a chance
to see the view?
147
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,653
Hey, have you ever
had anything pierced?
148
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:03,156
My eardrum once. I got hit
in a corn shucking contest.
149
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,159
That is so funny.
150
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,496
Couldn't swim
all summer.
151
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:11,364
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you
were joking.
152
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,801
Oh, I was. I...
153
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,235
Gotcha.
154
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,506
Hey, what do you say
we ditch the tour...
155
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,340
Go the village,
get some coffee?
156
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:22,275
Oh, I'd really like that.
157
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,513
And don't worry.
158
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,115
I know you're supposed
to keep me away
from my dad
159
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,817
so that I don't
cause any trouble.
160
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,051
You do?
161
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,686
Well, I do now.
162
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:37,057
This hansom
cab thing
is all set.
163
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,292
Now, there's gonna be
a lot of press there,
164
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,328
so we don't want
a repeat of what
happened last year.
165
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,030
I thought last year
went well.
166
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,532
Sir, in front
of 100 reporters
167
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,099
you leaned over
to me and said,
168
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,935
"Hey, look, Mike,
it's a boy horse."
169
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,442
Well, it was.
170
00:07:56,910 --> 00:08:00,180
So, I think that
Meg is gonna
meet us at the park.
171
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,349
Actually, sir, I believe
she has other plans.
172
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:03,951
How... how do
you know that?
173
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,719
Well, I kind of
made them for her.
174
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:08,589
Look, sir, kids change
a lot when they go
away to college.
175
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,824
I mean, you know,
I know I did.
176
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,059
Before I went
to Fordham,
177
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,427
I was a large
Scandinavian woman.
178
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,268
Nothing, huh?
179
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:25,038
Okay, sir.
All I'm saying
is that...
180
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,707
That it's completely
understandable
181
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:29,409
that things might be
a little awkward
182
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:30,744
between you and Meg.
183
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,079
Things weren't awkward.
184
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,614
I might have
misinterpreted. Hey.
185
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,617
Maybe it was the
absence of touching
186
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,385
and the total lack
of eye contact.
187
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,955
That's the way we say
hello in Connecticut.
188
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,058
Mike, I love meg more than
anything in the whole world.
189
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:48,495
I know that you do, sir.
And I'm proud of what
she has become.
190
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,864
Even though it
seems like she's
grown up overnight,
191
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:55,936
I'm still as close to her
as I was to my own
father, God rest his soul.
192
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,038
Sir?
Yeah?
193
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,640
Your father's still alive.
194
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:04,978
Oh, that's right.
195
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,183
Just got my first letter
from anonymous.
196
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,284
You wanna hear it?
197
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,820
Wait. Paul,
how long is
this letter?
198
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,623
Nineteen pages.
But it all rhymes.
199
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:18,458
Gee. What's
a woman like that
200
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:19,960
doing in a lonely
hearts club?
201
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,631
"To whom it
may concern..."
202
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,465
All right, Paul.
That sounds
way too personal.
203
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,934
Why don't read it
on your own?
204
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:30,170
No, no, no, no.
My life is an open
book to you people.
205
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,639
Close it.
206
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,677
Okay, I have
the solution to
the Paul problem.
207
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,211
Great. Where are we
gonna hide the body?
208
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,648
I told Claudia
to meet us here,
209
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,183
and then we're all gonna
go to the new exhibit
at the Guggenheim.
210
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,551
I've lived in New York
my entire life
211
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,053
and never been
to a museum.
212
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,188
I'm not gonna
ruin it now.
213
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,657
I'm surprised, Stuart.
You know,
214
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,258
there's a lot
of nude sculptures.
215
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,761
Really? Can you touch them?
216
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,564
Claudia's gonna walk
in the door, see Paul...
217
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,667
Bam! Love will take over.
218
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:04,271
Oh. Hey. Paulie.
219
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,206
I didn't know you
were gonna be here.
220
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,742
Claudia. Can't talk.
Reading a letter.
221
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,244
Bam!
222
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,916
(ALL APPLAUDING)
223
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,517
Thank you, thank you.
224
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,653
Meg should have been here.
She always loved horses.
225
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,189
You know, she could
ride sidesaddle,
English, and...
226
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,423
Bareback?
227
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,025
I don't think so.
228
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,494
CROWD: Oh!
229
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,903
Apparently she's
been taking
lessons, sir.
230
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,810
(SOFTLY) Nice...
231
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,579
What is he doing?
232
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,917
He's pacing.
He thinks if he lets
the tension build,
233
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,518
when he finally talks,
it's gonna scare us.
234
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,853
James.
Aaaagggghhhhh!
235
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,657
This is ridiculous, Mike.
236
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,526
I am not a little
girl anymore.
237
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,762
Oh, I... I know that,
believe me.
238
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:05,933
The whole city knows that.
239
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,835
So what? I was nude.
240
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:11,138
If I were a man,
we wouldn't even be
having this discussion.
241
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,240
That's right,
we wouldn't.
242
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,576
Because if you were
a man and you rode
naked on a horse,
243
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,645
you'd be in
the hospital right now.
244
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:26,553
Well, James
is on my side.
Right, James?
245
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:29,656
Yeah. Right.
I'm with you.
246
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:32,225
Mike, I really
don't think
247
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,493
you have any right
to tell Megan...
248
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,162
James, go to your desk.
Yeah, you got it.
249
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,166
Can I call you sometime?
250
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:44,905
Mike, the whole world
should know the plight
of those poor horses.
251
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,341
What is the correlation
between riding nude
on a horse
252
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,577
and a horse's happiness?
253
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,783
Okay, I understand
for that one horse.
254
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,654
All I know is I got
my dad's attention.
255
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:02,790
There's no doubt
about that.
256
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:03,991
It's in every paper
in the city.
257
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,526
You know, this is
really gonna hurt him.
258
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,962
You know, Mike, if this
is such a big problem,
259
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,799
then how come he's not
here talking to me?
260
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,333
Because he told you
to handle it,
261
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,835
and you're just
as bad as he is,
262
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,804
because you actually
agreed to do it.
263
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,973
Okay I think we're
losing track of who's
scolding who here.
264
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,443
You know what?
You can just tell him
265
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,913
that there won't be
any more problems,
266
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:28,048
because I'm going
back to school today.
267
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,417
Bye, Dad.
Bye, honey.
268
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,885
Uh, sir, she's leaving.
269
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,087
Yeah, I sort of picked
that up from "Bye, Dad."
270
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,689
I mean she's going
back to college.
271
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,325
After one day?
272
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,027
Yeah. We can
still catch her.
273
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,031
Sir, when I say "we..."
274
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:46,733
I mean both of us.
275
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,969
Even though I would
give anything
276
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,904
to have my daughter
standing right here
in front of me,
277
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,441
I still wouldn't know
what to say to her.
278
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,045
I'm sorry, sir.
279
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,281
Yeah, so am I.
280
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,584
In a few hours,
my dream girl
281
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,219
will finally have a face.
282
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,856
Breakthrough
at the lab, Paul?
283
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:17,064
Jest if you must,
but today I meet
my pen pal,
284
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:20,000
and I am convinced
that she is my soul mate.
285
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,102
Twenty bucks says
she's a fat girl.
286
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,738
Are you sure
you wanna do this?
287
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:28,441
Paul, the pen pal
relationship...
288
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,244
Is a special one.
289
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,881
Paul, there's an openness
to the written word
290
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,715
that... that you may
lose forever.
291
00:13:35,883 --> 00:13:37,050
What are you saying?
292
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,785
Stuart's right.
She could be large
and in charge.
293
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,355
Hey, Paul, did you
get my jacket?
294
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,756
Found my soul mate.
295
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,893
Great. Was she
wearing my jacket?
296
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,895
Look. They did
a beautiful job.
297
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,331
Paul, they didn't
get the stain out.
298
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,399
I told you.
299
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,435
Look at the rest
of it. Crisp!
300
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:58,738
Did you even check
the jacket before
you left the store?
301
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,207
Of course.
302
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,708
Lying.
303
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,276
Quiet, you witch.
304
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,348
James, you get Meg
to the airport okay?
305
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:09,416
No problemo.
306
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,683
Again with a lie.
307
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:11,952
James.
308
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,520
How do you know
she's not lying?
309
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,622
I'm not! I can tell.
310
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,264
Now, James...
311
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:28,301
I believe you took
the girl to the airport,
312
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,437
but Stuart here...
313
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,408
He's a little skeptical.
314
00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,579
I just want five minutes
alone with this punk.
315
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,550
Take my keys.
316
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,586
Take my belt.
317
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,156
Take my glasses.
318
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,192
(SLAMMING)
319
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,594
Give me my glasses.
320
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,635
So...
321
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,437
What airport
did you take her to?
322
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,175
Probably, uh,
LaGuardia, right?
323
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,577
Yeah, that... that was it.
324
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:11,711
That's funny.
325
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:18,351
There are no flights
to Oakland from LaGuardia.
326
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,188
I'm tired
of his lies, Mike!
327
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,227
Can I have a glass
of water?
328
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,596
Not until you
sing... Buddy.
329
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,569
All right, where were we?
330
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,506
Oh, yes, airports...
Kennedy, wasn't it?
331
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:41,808
Yeah. Kennedy.
332
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,643
What bridge did you take?
333
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,445
59th street?
334
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,646
Triboro?
335
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:48,881
Triboro.
336
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:50,450
Oh, ho ho.
337
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,654
Oh, wrong answer.
338
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,491
Triboro is closed.
339
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,727
(GROWLING)
340
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,369
All right,
let's talk about the girl.
You like the girl, yes?
341
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:13,106
No, no! Yes! Mike,
you're confusing me.
I didn't...
342
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,641
Tell me where she is!
343
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,279
Wait a second. I thought
344
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:20,880
you were supposed
to be the good cop.
345
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,451
Bad cop's more fun.
346
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,821
Well, then who gets
to smack him around?
347
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,824
I do.
You get to berate him.
348
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,426
But I do that every day.
349
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,962
Listen, whatever
you guys are gonna do,
350
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,198
could you just do it
and get it over with?
351
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,766
I have to meet Meg
at the PETA rally
352
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,568
in Central Park at 3:00.
353
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,741
Damn.
354
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,112
This is so romantic.
355
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,447
Just once I would like
a guy to say to me,
356
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,484
"I'll be the one
wearing the red rose."
357
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:01,821
I didn't say that.
I said, "I'll be
the one at the table
358
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,690
"away from the bathroom."
359
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,094
You stud.
360
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,795
How are you gonna
recognize her?
361
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:09,929
Well, in the letter
362
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,598
she said that
she'd be wearing
a purple hat.
363
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,569
Hello, Paulie.
364
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:17,537
Oh, hey, Claudia.
365
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,172
Listen, I don't mean
to be rude,
366
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,108
but I'm keeping
my eye out
for somebody,
367
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,210
so I'll see you around,
all right?
368
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,744
By the way, great hat.
369
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,448
Oh, my God, purple hat!
Purple hat!
370
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,650
You are the man
with a rose
371
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,019
at a table away
from the bathroom.
372
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,854
I missed you, Paulie.
373
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,989
Oh, Claudia,
I missed you, too.
374
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,158
I missed you more.
375
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,726
Oh, no, I don't think
that's possible.
376
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,395
You don't know my capacity
for missing somebody.
377
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,431
Well, I couldn't
even concentrate.
378
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:45,798
That's nothing!
I couldn't sleep!
379
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:46,766
I couldn't eat!
380
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,801
Really? How did you
stay alive?
381
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,404
I wasn't, Paulie.
382
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:55,942
Oh, Claudia.
383
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,010
Oh, let's go,
Paulie.
384
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:00,880
I missed you more.
385
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,382
Oh, you did?
386
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,152
CLAUDIA: Oh, honey.
387
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,186
Bye-bye, everybody.
388
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,587
(BANGING)
Oh, honey!
389
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,721
I'm sorry.
390
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,157
It's okay,
it's okay, honey.
I'll just walk.
391
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,991
I'm sorry. Bye-bye. Bye.
392
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:17,397
That was so beautiful.
393
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:20,533
She was lying.
She didn't write
that letter.
394
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:22,902
Carter?
395
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:25,037
Believe me, this is
the best thing for Paul.
396
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,712
The way I see it,
we have two choices.
We can either go down there
397
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,714
and stop her from speaking
to these animal activists,
398
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:37,584
or we can have the police
break up the rally before
it even starts.
399
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,386
I'm just gonna stay
right here.
400
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,554
Okay, sir, I'm gonna go
over your options again.
401
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,292
You don't, uh, know
what it's like
402
00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,926
to have a daughter,
do you, Mike?
403
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,829
Sir, I don't know what
it's like to have a plant.
404
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,370
You just... you have
to reach out to Meg.
405
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,506
You know what scares me
the most, Mike?
406
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:04,344
That I have missed some
of the biggest moments
in my daughter's life,
407
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,546
that I've always put
my job first,
408
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,116
and that I haven't always
been the best of fathers.
409
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:12,452
And if I asked her,
410
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,821
she'd say that
she doesn't love
me anymore.
411
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,056
She won't say that.
412
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,092
May... maybe she will,
413
00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,694
but she won't mean it.
414
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,097
Hell, Mike,
I wouldn't even know
where to start.
415
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:28,401
Just make a gesture, sir,
like send her a card.
416
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,936
Take her out for dinner.
417
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,538
Stop her from making
damaging statements
418
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:32,672
at an animal rights rally.
419
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,607
Would you forget
the politics, Mike?
420
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,376
I swear to you,
right now I'm
telling you the truth
421
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:39,111
when I say that I do
not care about politics.
422
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:40,547
Yes, you do.
423
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,249
I know.
424
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,619
Meg doesn't want
to do this.
425
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,755
She... she just wants
to get your attention.
426
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,423
She just wants you
to do something
427
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,024
to prove that
you care about her.
428
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,496
Yeah. Janelle,
would you call
for the limousine?
429
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,164
We need to be
in Central Park
in 10 minutes.
430
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:01,268
All the traffic lights
on the East Side are out...
massive gridlock.
431
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,235
You're not
getting anywhere.
432
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,036
(HORNS HONKING)
433
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,211
Get out of the way!
Come on, let's go!
434
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:15,382
Go. Let's go, go!
435
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,317
Huah, huah!
436
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,888
Thank you, thank you.
437
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,890
I'd start by urging
these people
438
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:27,660
not to vote for the Mayor
based on his animal
rights record alone.
439
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:29,662
Okay...
440
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:31,498
(HOOVES CLOMPING)
441
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,232
Good afternoon,
everybody.
442
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,701
Daddy!
443
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:37,003
Ha! Whoa, Seabiscuit!
444
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:37,937
The bus!
445
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,306
That was 10 blocks
ago, Mike.
446
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,007
Look out for the cab!
We're in Central Park,
Mike.
447
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:43,310
A lady with a cane!
Just hop off.
448
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,911
I hope my
'chute opens.
449
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,713
(MIKE GRUNTING)
450
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:49,048
Meg, I'm so glad
you're here.
451
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,250
I'm sorry. I think
we need to talk.
452
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,319
Now?
453
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,753
I've got nowhere to be,
454
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:57,990
or not to be, if that
is the question. Here.
455
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:05,898
Hah!
456
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,737
Well, folks, I'm sorry.
457
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:12,505
Looks like
your front page story
458
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,441
just rode off
into the sunset.
459
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,742
Nice jacket.
460
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,043
Thank you very much.
461
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:17,944
What's it made of?
462
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:20,012
This is calfskin,
actually.
463
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,449
Oh, no!
464
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,920
Do you think
it'll come out, sir?
465
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,922
Maybe with a little
club soda.
466
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,191
See, Mike,
the thing is,
467
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:35,362
she was acting up right
underneath my nose,
468
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,964
and I was too involved
with my own life to notice.
469
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,567
But no more.
The new Randall Winston
470
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:43,102
is an attentive father, eh?
471
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,372
Oh. By the way,
if you see my daughter,
472
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,606
tell her I'm looking
for her.
473
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,775
Sure thing, sir.
474
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:53,680
He saw us, didn't he?
475
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,448
(WINSTON SCREAMING)
476
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:58,951
Hard to tell.
34540
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