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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:03,394 Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:04,787 Hello, Harry. I'm Goliath. 3 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,223 I needed to send you a message. 4 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,269 Look, I need more information on this alien race 5 00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,140 that you said is trying to take over the Earth. 6 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,317 Here I go again, dragging another guy into my mess. 7 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,710 You still got it, Coach. 8 00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,494 You know, the Hardpack tournament's coming up. 9 00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:18,844 - It's my knee. - Ew! 10 00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,325 I've been training a lot. I think I overdid it. 11 00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,719 This package is from Violinda. 12 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,286 Harry, look at this. 13 00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,027 It was just you and me there. No one else was there. 14 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,245 This makes no sense... 15 00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:31,292 unless you're Goliath. 16 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:41,041 17 00:00:57,753 --> 00:01:01,887 ♪ No, I can't forget tomorrow ♪ 18 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,629 ♪ When I think of all my sorrows ♪ 19 00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,893 I knew it. I knew it! 20 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:10,548 Honey, no! Honey, stop! 21 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:13,421 [Harry Nilsson's "Without You"] 22 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,465 Relax. 23 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:15,988 Hey. Hey! 24 00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,642 Honey, stop! Don't hurt him! 25 00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:20,471 26 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:24,084 ♪ I can't give anymore 27 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,564 ♪ I can't live-- 28 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:37,532 29 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:41,144 It was cold in the Ice-Wind Desert. 30 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:44,365 but it was also lonely. 31 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:50,762 I was left there to die. 32 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,112 Alone. 33 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:58,248 I did not care at the time, 34 00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:01,817 but thinking about it now... 35 00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:05,821 It was very painful. 36 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:11,827 All my siblings had already died. 37 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:18,312 I had killed them, of course. 38 00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,229 And how did that make you feel? 39 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,669 Having an absent father? 40 00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:28,974 Mm. 41 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:31,586 It makes me feel vulnerable. 42 00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:34,545 And how does that make you feel? 43 00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:39,507 Like you haven't been listening 44 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,422 to a single word I've said. 45 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:44,468 And how-- 46 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:48,168 I have been listening to several words. 47 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:49,908 Good morning, sir. 48 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,214 I got you a little something. 49 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,216 Holy shit, a dinosaur egg! 50 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,870 What? 51 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,612 Oh, I'm sorry, Deputy. I got too excited. 52 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,179 Now, if it's not a dinosaur egg, 53 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,267 you're gonna think I don't like it, 54 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:01,616 but I'ma keep an open mind, okay? 55 00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:07,012 Aw, a Patience snow globe. 56 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,188 Thank you, Deputy. 57 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:10,494 You got a little, mini town hall here. 58 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,453 Look at that-- a little, mini phone booth. 59 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,672 I wonder who's in this car? 60 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:18,372 Maybe it's Detective Lena Torres coming to visit. 61 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:21,288 Okay, all right, I see what this is. 62 00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:24,160 Patience snow globe, matchmaking-- 63 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,553 you're trying to get me to stay. 64 00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,337 Now, see, I would think if anybody was happy 65 00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,947 about me moving, it'd be you, 66 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,514 because then if I moved, 67 00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,647 then, you know, maybe you could be sheriff someday. 68 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,606 Me? 69 00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:38,870 A sheriff--really? 70 00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,524 Although I can't help but notice 71 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,265 that UFO book on your desk. 72 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,528 You're gonna have to get rid of some of these silly hobbies 73 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,617 if you want to be taken seriously enough 74 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:49,577 to run this department. 75 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,535 UFOs aren't a hobby 76 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:54,582 as much as they are objects in the sky. 77 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,279 No, I get it. We all got our fantasies. 78 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,933 I mean, hell, in another life, 79 00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,630 I could have been one of those Renaissance Faire guys, right? 80 00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:00,892 But I can't be pulling people over 81 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,764 wearing no suit of armor on no horse. 82 00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:04,374 And I damn sure can't write them no ticket 83 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,115 with no jousting stick or turkey leg 84 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,464 and a jug of mead in my hand. 85 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:10,075 Well, it's hard to argue with that logic. 86 00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:20,042 87 00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:24,568 Doing a good job keeping up for somebody who doesn't train. 88 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,309 It's the only way I could spend time with you 89 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,442 these days. 90 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:31,314 I'll let you off easy. We can walk a little bit here. 91 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,447 Let me off easy? 92 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,449 You're the one who's limping. 93 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,973 I went pretty hard at the gym earlier today. 94 00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,584 Maybe you remember. Oh, that's right. 95 00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:42,804 You were still sleeping. 96 00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,154 Well, maybe you should go a little less hard. 97 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,112 You know, your body speaks to you. 98 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:48,288 It knows what it can handle. 99 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:50,333 Yeah. Key word: my body. 100 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:53,162 Okay, let's just keep things light. 101 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,860 - Sorry. 102 00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:58,602 Sorry, I just got to push to get ready for the tournament. 103 00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,517 It's stressing me out. 104 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:01,779 It's kind of my one shot 105 00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:04,042 to prove I can still kick ass, you know? 106 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,479 You're gonna kill it. 107 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:06,610 I just don't want you to get hurt 108 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:08,003 because you pushed it too far. 109 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:09,396 I have to push. 110 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:13,791 If I'm gonna make it through the qualifiers, I... 111 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,619 It's just my knee is compensating 112 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,012 for my old ankle injury, all right? 113 00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,231 It's not a big deal. 114 00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,450 Well, let's put some snow on it. 115 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:21,712 We'll get the swelling down. 116 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,801 Oh, yeah, good idea. 117 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,630 Like, just stop parenting me. 118 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,850 Wow, D'arcy. 119 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,814 I'm--I'm sorry, Elliot. 120 00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:37,902 I'm sorry. 121 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:40,340 Just, let's-- let's keep running. 122 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:41,689 I think I need to go home. 123 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,301 I'll see you later. 124 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:52,395 125 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,371 Hey. 126 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,894 Ben Hawthorne says he doesn't want 127 00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,156 to pay for therapy this morning. 128 00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:16,506 Apparently, you weren't listening to him? 129 00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,203 I wasn't. He is boring. 130 00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:21,990 Look, I don't blame you for being distracted. 131 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:25,994 You know, you just found out you were this Goliath guy, 132 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:28,562 which also makes you father to an alien baby 133 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,868 that was kidnapped, which is kind of a lot. 134 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:34,785 I'm only distracted because the alien baby was taken away 135 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,047 before he could tell me 136 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:39,137 which alien race is taking over the Earth. 137 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:43,925 I do not care about this father-baby stuff. 138 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:46,884 Harry, it's human nature to care about your offspring. 139 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,713 It is human nature, not alien nature. 140 00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:52,237 We do not care if our children die, 141 00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:54,718 as long as they die in a ditch 142 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,198 and not in the road 143 00:06:56,241 --> 00:07:00,071 where they will make it bumpy for our vehicles. 144 00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,159 Selfish children. 145 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:04,119 Okay, look, I'm still confused. 146 00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:08,471 The future you sent the past you a message, but how? 147 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,473 Do you have a time machine? 148 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,954 Wait. Can we go back in time? 149 00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:16,784 There is no such thing as a time machine. 150 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,700 The only effective way to travel through time 151 00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:23,225 is through... is through... 152 00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,270 There is no word for it. 153 00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:26,663 Uh... 154 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,236 In English, 155 00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:38,414 a portal, I guess, is the closest thing you could say. 156 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,589 Mm. 157 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,417 But you would not understand it. 158 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,507 Try me. Portals. Go on. 159 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:48,119 A portal is a split 160 00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:51,166 in the fabric of time. 161 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,428 Okay. 162 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,387 Uh, well, 163 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,477 the fabric of time, 164 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,827 and it is like a-- 165 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:03,004 sort of like a poly-wool blend. 166 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:08,444 As the accelerating atoms speed up, 167 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:14,015 it causes the fabric to peel sort of nubbins because-- 168 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,538 Harry, you don't know what you're talking about, do you? 169 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,800 No, I don't. 170 00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,976 My people have never figured it out. 171 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,544 I guess I went through an existing portal 172 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:24,286 left by another alien race. 173 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,854 What? 174 00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:31,206 There are only two alien species that use portals. 175 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,643 The Greys. 176 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:36,428 But it is not them. 177 00:08:36,472 --> 00:08:38,822 They have no use for humans, 178 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:42,434 except to probe their elimination holes. 179 00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:44,175 But there is one more. 180 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,525 Who? 181 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,396 Alpha Draconians. 182 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,834 They use portals. 183 00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,444 Are they dangerous? 184 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,968 Not the same way as Greys are, 185 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:56,710 but they are good at disguising themselves. 186 00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,712 They can look human. 187 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:02,585 God! 188 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:03,891 What the hell? 189 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,370 Were you just picking my nose? 190 00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:09,636 Alpha Draconians, their nostrils are pleasure zones, 191 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,377 so if you were an Alpha Draconian, 192 00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:16,077 then you would've liked that! 193 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,687 Well, I didn't like it, and if you do it again, 194 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,776 I will break your finger. 195 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,866 Obviously, you are human, so you passed! 196 00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,353 - Hey, honey. - Hey. 197 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,400 Missed you this morning with your early therapy, 198 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,489 so I brought you a juice box... 199 00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,317 - Ah! - And a sandwich. 200 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,581 Thank you. I am dying of thirst. 201 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,408 Uh-huh. 202 00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:46,107 - Throw it out. - Oh. 203 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,413 Oh, hey, you know how we've been 204 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,024 so excited about the resort moving in? 205 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,634 - Uh-huh. - Well, now I'm thinking 206 00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,636 maybe it's not such a great idea after all. 207 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,159 What? Why not? 208 00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,466 I just think Patience is really great the way it is. 209 00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,250 Maybe a resort would change it too much. 210 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,296 Wow, look at you. 211 00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:02,645 "Pretty great the way it is"? 212 00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,429 I never thought you'd say that about Patience. 213 00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,170 I know. I guess I'm a convert. 214 00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,955 - Hmm. - Okay, I'm headed to the gym. 215 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,304 Love you. 216 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:11,480 Love you too. 217 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,351 We're still doing the resort, though. 218 00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:17,747 - What? - The resort. 219 00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,314 You know, I, uh-- 220 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,664 I think it's good for the town. 221 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,144 Yeah, yeah. 222 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,928 No, I know, but you know, 223 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,278 I don't think we should support it, so... 224 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:29,367 Yeah, I think we should. 225 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:32,675 Ah. 226 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,895 Okay. 227 00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,679 I see what you're doing. 228 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,638 After your presentation, I told you 229 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,683 to stick by your guns no matter who is against you. 230 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,206 - Mm-hmm. - That's--I get it. 231 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,643 You're doing great. It's great. 232 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:47,168 But it's me, you know, so it's different. 233 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,736 Mm, how? 234 00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:52,390 Because I'm not for it anymore. 235 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,828 Oh, I see. 236 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,875 But I am. 237 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:02,792 Yeah. 238 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,014 So... 239 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,146 Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. 240 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,452 I agree. 241 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,020 That's great. 242 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,327 Ah. 243 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,720 - Okay. - Okay. 244 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,200 All right. 245 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,723 Love you. - Love you. 246 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,945 - Okay. - All right. 247 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,388 - Ow, ow, ow. - Oh, my God. 248 00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,737 What happened, Jujube? 249 00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,391 Oh, I had to give Kevin a bath. 250 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,132 He got the squirts from an egg roll 251 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:39,568 he found under the couch. 252 00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,222 I need more thread. 253 00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,137 I only got enough for "attacked by a cat," 254 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,183 not for "bathes a cat." 255 00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:47,576 Don't move. 256 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,752 Don't cats usually lick themselves clean? 257 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:54,017 Yeah, but Kevin hates the taste of Oil of Olay. 258 00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:57,847 Hey, oh, while you're up, 259 00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:00,371 I need a refill on these pain meds. 260 00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:01,721 Are you serious, dude? 261 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,287 That was a one-month supply. 262 00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,072 You should have plenty left. 263 00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:07,030 Well, if you're saying they should make the tiny writing 264 00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,250 on the side larger so I can read the amounts, 265 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,252 I agree with you. 266 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,732 What am I, a bird of prey? 267 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,908 - Hey, D'arce. - Oh, what's up? 268 00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,431 - What are you doing here? - Oh, nothing. 269 00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,085 Just coming to see you. 270 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:20,261 Want to make sure you're coming to my qualifiers tomorrow. 271 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:21,784 - Oh. - Yup! 272 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,177 Talking to Asta. 273 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,744 Oh, tell her I said hi! 274 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,094 I can hear you, Judy. Hi. 275 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,791 That was fast. 276 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,445 She doesn't really care. You know that, right? 277 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,969 Anyway, I invited my parents. 278 00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:35,493 They'd love to see you, make you feel worthless. 279 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,974 Oh, of course. I wouldn't miss it. 280 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,628 Ooh, I could dig out your Team D'arcy hat 281 00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:41,195 that I made for your Olympic trials. 282 00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:42,457 How do you still have that? 283 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,025 Ooh, Harry Vanderspeigle. 284 00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:48,158 Buddy, you want to come to my event tomorrow? 285 00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:51,640 Trying to pack the stands with my biggest fans. 286 00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,816 Then I will not come because I am not your fan. 287 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:57,211 She is being oddly friendly, so be polite. 288 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:59,430 Please, thank you. 289 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,215 I am not your fan. 290 00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:02,433 You're welcome. - Okay. 291 00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:04,044 Well, I guess you don't want to eat 292 00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,002 the best churros in Colorado. 293 00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,789 I am a fan of churros. 294 00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,660 Good. Come on, we'll road trip. 295 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:12,966 You can get your mind off things-- 296 00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:15,229 if there's anything your mind is on. 297 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,970 I will go, and you will buy me 298 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:20,582 hot grease-fried sugar sticks that are shaped like okra. 299 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,541 Yay! 300 00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:24,760 Great. - Okay. 301 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,414 See you tomorrow. - Okay. 302 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,155 both: Team D'arcy! 303 00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,505 Team D'arcy! 304 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,246 I was in it. Three of us. 305 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:38,774 306 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,689 Hey. 307 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,517 So psyched you're coming tomorrow. 308 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,519 Yay, friends. 309 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:47,348 Say, offhand--I was just thinking this now-- 310 00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:50,090 what if you brought your doctor bag thingy with you tomorrow, 311 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,874 in case I need, like, I don't know, 312 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:54,964 a cortisone shot before the race? 313 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:58,315 Also, I need you to refill this prescription for me. 314 00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,404 I dropped a bunch down the drain. 315 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,710 Such a klutz. 316 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:05,714 If you are such a klutz, 317 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,368 then maybe you should not be competing 318 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,023 in major sporting events. 319 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:11,763 Then you would not need any pain pills. 320 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:12,808 You should be careful. 321 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,159 These can be very addictive. 322 00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,511 Well, you make a good point. 323 00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:22,383 We should probably all just stay home tomorrow, 324 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:24,211 and then nobody gets any churros. 325 00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:25,516 No! 326 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,345 I need the churros. 327 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:29,781 I need the pills. 328 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,834 329 00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:46,929 Oh, yes. 330 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:02,640 Oh, huh. 331 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:09,821 332 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,960 ♪ Let the water rise 333 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:21,746 334 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:25,054 ♪ Lying on my back 335 00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:30,581 336 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:33,149 You knew where my mother was? 337 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,194 What? 338 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:35,673 When I was in the third grade, 339 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,024 you knew where she was, and you never told me? 340 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,896 The address was old, even then. 341 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,202 She doesn't live there. 342 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,508 But it's an address. 343 00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:45,683 It's a piece of her. 344 00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,034 It doesn't matter how small it is. 345 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,992 Maybe if I would have found her, 346 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,429 and maybe-- maybe she would have wanted me. 347 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,170 I'm sorry. 348 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:58,000 I didn't want to get your hopes up. 349 00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,828 I know. 350 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:02,178 ♪ Watching stars collide 351 00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:07,401 352 00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:08,968 ♪ Watching stars 353 00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:14,669 Do I finally get to meet Elliot? 354 00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:16,540 He's coming today, right? 355 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:19,195 Uh, probably not. 356 00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,631 Are we there yet? 357 00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:22,807 Harry, we told you the last time that you asked, 358 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:25,419 we will tell you as soon as we're getting close. 359 00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,508 Wait, he's not coming to cheer you on? 360 00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,032 What? He knows about it, right? 361 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,294 Yeah, he knows. 362 00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:33,253 I've been training my ass off. 363 00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:35,690 I just don't think he's really in the cheering-on mood. 364 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:38,649 I sort of pushed him away the other day, 365 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,565 and he's probably already swiping right 366 00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,567 on some dental hygienist from Denver 367 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:45,134 with health insurance and a three-year plan. 368 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,136 That's a lot to unpack there. 369 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:50,052 Did you bring snacks? 370 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,054 Yep. 371 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:54,404 Okay. - Cereal. 372 00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:57,059 Anyway, we know you do this, but-- 373 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,800 Yum! 374 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,106 I really felt like 375 00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,325 maybe Elliot was worth breaking your pattern. 376 00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,197 I have to urinate. 377 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,589 I need to urinate. 378 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:06,808 Why do you sound like C-3PO? 379 00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:07,852 Just say you have to pee. 380 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,507 - I have to pee-3PO. - Wow. 381 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,292 - Ooh, that was good. - All right. 382 00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:13,641 You gotta whiz. We got it. 383 00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:15,643 Go number one. - Yeah, drain the lizard. 384 00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,862 - Free to pee? You and me. - Tinkle. 385 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:18,907 Make water. 386 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:21,779 Make water? That's so gross! 387 00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:23,390 Yes, all of those things! 388 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,348 Okay, well, you just have to hold it, all right? 389 00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:26,610 The adults are talking. 390 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:28,656 Can't you just play "I Spy" or something? 391 00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:30,875 - Ooh, yes. - What is "I Spy"? 392 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,529 You pick something you see, and then you say, 393 00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:35,141 "I spy with my little eye something," 394 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:37,099 and then we all have to guess what it is. 395 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,796 Go for it. 396 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,497 I spy with my little eye 397 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,803 a way to contact the Alpha Draconians. 398 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,589 Pull the car over right now, 399 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,373 or I will make water on the floor! 400 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:53,028 - Okay! - Jesus. 401 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,899 402 00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:57,119 Okey-doke! Ooh! 403 00:17:57,163 --> 00:18:04,300 404 00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:08,435 Why is he going so far away from the car? 405 00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:09,653 Well, if his weenis 406 00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,438 is anything like his back-seat attitude, 407 00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,180 he's probably self-conscious about its childlike appearance. 408 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,185 Oh, hey! 409 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,012 Oh, my God. 410 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,537 You found it. Incredible. 411 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:27,410 But not as incredible as this other thing I found. 412 00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:34,025 Who's Mary-Ellen Taylor? 413 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,941 Mary-Ellen, my mom. 414 00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:39,727 Oh, my God. 415 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:40,945 Where was this? 416 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:44,253 I found it under a box in Dan's closet. 417 00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,690 This is in Taos. This is super close to here. 418 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,953 Yeah, but she doesn't live there anymore. 419 00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:52,653 But maybe somebody does who knows something about her. 420 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,263 You should go. 421 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:56,396 I don't know. 422 00:18:56,439 --> 00:19:00,182 I mean, I-- I guess it's possible. 423 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,792 Wouldn't that be so amazing 424 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:05,274 if I could find out more about my mom after all this time? 425 00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:07,233 Like, even if it's just like, 426 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:10,497 "Yeah, she once sat under that tree." 427 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,803 I mean, amazing. Any tree. 428 00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:16,590 She was probably a lot like me, right? 429 00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:17,678 Maybe? 430 00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:20,594 Young, in a difficult relationship. 431 00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:24,206 I mean, maybe she had no choice but to give me up, right? 432 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,165 Maybe she was protecting me. 433 00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:31,039 If she's really like me, she's regretted it ever since. 434 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:36,479 435 00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,264 How many numbers is he going? 436 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:48,926 437 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:01,983 both: ♪ You gotta be cool 438 00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,245 ♪ You gotta be calm 439 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,552 ♪ You gotta stay together 440 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,293 ♪ All I know, all I know ♪ 441 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,730 ♪ Love will save the day 442 00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,819 ♪ Herald what your mother said ♪ 443 00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:14,038 ♪ Read the books your father read ♪ 444 00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:17,303 ♪ Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet-- ♪ 445 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:18,391 What song are we singing? 446 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:19,566 What the hell happened to you? 447 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,046 And why are you all grassy and sweaty? 448 00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:24,005 I was peeing... 449 00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:27,051 and I fell down in the grass. 450 00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,444 But not in the pee grass! 451 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,532 In the dry grass. 452 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:32,405 And then, I exercised. - Ugh. 453 00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,320 Oh, all right. 454 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:35,843 Well, I hope you didn't pee on yourself. 455 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:38,628 I'm so sick of cleaning pee out of that back seat. 456 00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:40,369 I don't want to do it again. - Again? 457 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:41,283 I don't want to talk about it. 458 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:49,073 Humans do not realize what crop circles really are-- 459 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:50,988 alien emojis. 460 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:52,512 The complex circle on the right 461 00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,557 stands for my middle finger. 462 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:02,304 Welcome to the Hardpack qualifying rounds! 463 00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:11,835 464 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:16,971 Taking her practice run right now 465 00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:20,322 is World Cup champion D'arcy Bloom. 466 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,324 Yeah! Way to go, D'arcy! 467 00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,633 Whoo-hoo! 468 00:21:26,676 --> 00:21:29,331 Yeah, D'arcy! Go, baby! 469 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,855 Yeah, you're a baby! 470 00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:33,117 You have to go! 471 00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:34,989 Wow. 472 00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:36,164 Aah! 473 00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:37,426 Whoo! 474 00:21:37,470 --> 00:21:39,472 Are you kidding me? You're amazing! 475 00:21:39,515 --> 00:21:41,822 Oh, I feel great. 476 00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:43,737 You guys must be bringing me good luck. 477 00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:45,216 Oh, your parents aren't here yet. 478 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:47,044 Oh, they never come for warm-ups. 479 00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:48,350 They'll be here later. 480 00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,221 Hey, could you go grab me a churro? 481 00:21:50,265 --> 00:21:51,614 I'm at your service, my lady. 482 00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:54,269 I'm like your pit crew today. 483 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,837 One churro coming up. 484 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,274 Get me one! 485 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,971 Hey, buddy, I need you 486 00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,538 to hook me up with a cortisone shot, okay? 487 00:22:02,582 --> 00:22:04,845 My knee is killing me. 488 00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:07,021 I should not give this to you. 489 00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:08,239 The Internet says 490 00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,807 the shot prohibits inflammatory response 491 00:22:10,851 --> 00:22:13,506 but can mask further damage and re-injury, 492 00:22:13,549 --> 00:22:16,160 resulting in permanent damage. 493 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,425 - Oh, it does. - Mm-hmm. 494 00:22:19,468 --> 00:22:22,253 But it also says that D'arcy smashing you in the face 495 00:22:22,297 --> 00:22:24,386 with her skis could cause permanent damage, so... 496 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,171 Give me the shot. 497 00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:32,786 You would make a good opponent on the battlefield. 498 00:22:33,874 --> 00:22:36,311 You look like a biter. - Mm-mm. 499 00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:38,487 I'm a hair puller. 500 00:22:41,490 --> 00:22:43,797 501 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,060 It also causes mood swings. 502 00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:49,019 Maybe you will swing back to being nice. 503 00:22:50,456 --> 00:22:51,457 Ah, ow. 504 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:52,806 D'arce? 505 00:22:52,849 --> 00:22:54,808 Where are you guys? D'arce? 506 00:22:56,897 --> 00:22:58,681 Oh, D'arce. 507 00:22:58,725 --> 00:22:59,813 - Hey. - Oh. 508 00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:00,901 - Where were you? - Oh. 509 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,729 I was just showing Harry around. 510 00:23:02,772 --> 00:23:04,905 I'm very interested in sports. 511 00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:07,081 Uh, go, team. 512 00:23:07,124 --> 00:23:07,995 High-fives! 513 00:23:08,038 --> 00:23:10,867 Keep your eyes on your balls. 514 00:23:10,911 --> 00:23:12,303 Okay. 515 00:23:12,347 --> 00:23:14,871 Oh, you have plenty of time before first round. 516 00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:16,395 You should go grab a cider or something. 517 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:18,135 Oh, are you sure? 518 00:23:18,179 --> 00:23:19,354 Yeah, go for it. 519 00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:22,444 Okay. Pit crew on hold. 520 00:23:22,488 --> 00:23:23,706 I'll see you later, superstar. - See ya. 521 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,926 - Bye. 522 00:23:25,969 --> 00:23:28,232 No! No, never that! Never that! 523 00:23:30,104 --> 00:23:31,671 D'arcy number one. 524 00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:33,499 D'arcy is number one. 525 00:23:37,546 --> 00:23:38,939 He just fell. 526 00:23:38,982 --> 00:23:40,767 He'll be fine in a day or two. 527 00:23:40,810 --> 00:23:42,595 He just needs to keep his fluids up. 528 00:23:42,638 --> 00:23:44,205 If he had cut back on the caffeine, 529 00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:45,946 like I told him last time, 530 00:23:45,989 --> 00:23:47,600 he probably wouldn't even be here. 531 00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:50,341 You take away my coffee, I might as well be dead. 532 00:23:50,385 --> 00:23:52,300 And you're not supposed to shame the patient. 533 00:23:52,343 --> 00:23:53,954 Look, I told all the nurses they could shame 534 00:23:53,997 --> 00:23:55,782 and degrade you if it keeps you alive. 535 00:23:55,825 --> 00:23:57,523 Go on, Ellen, tell him how bad it is 536 00:23:57,566 --> 00:23:58,959 to be buttering his meat. 537 00:23:59,002 --> 00:24:00,351 Try blue cheese butter next time. 538 00:24:00,395 --> 00:24:01,483 It's even better. 539 00:24:03,790 --> 00:24:05,618 Look who has flowers. 540 00:24:05,661 --> 00:24:07,794 Aw, you didn't have to buy me those. 541 00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:10,536 Oh, I didn't. These are from Lena Torres. 542 00:24:10,579 --> 00:24:13,147 Well, I'll be damned. You were right. 543 00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:14,714 - You know I'm always right. 544 00:24:14,757 --> 00:24:16,280 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What are you two up to? 545 00:24:16,324 --> 00:24:17,630 You always right about what? 546 00:24:17,673 --> 00:24:20,328 Detective Torres has the hots for you. 547 00:24:20,371 --> 00:24:21,721 Liv called it. - Oh, God. 548 00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:23,636 How often do y'all talk about this crap, huh? 549 00:24:23,679 --> 00:24:24,898 What, you got a secret sewing circle 550 00:24:24,941 --> 00:24:25,986 or something I don't know about? 551 00:24:26,029 --> 00:24:28,336 Okay. We're just having fun. 552 00:24:28,379 --> 00:24:29,511 It doesn't matter, anyway, 553 00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:32,558 since you're moving back to D.C. 554 00:24:32,601 --> 00:24:35,169 - Uh, it's nothing, Pops. 555 00:24:35,212 --> 00:24:36,692 It's just something that I was considering 556 00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:39,956 that I, uh, shared privately with the deputy. 557 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,523 You never said it was private. 558 00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:42,872 Everything I say to you is private. 559 00:24:42,916 --> 00:24:44,700 If I noticed you was on fire and I told you, 560 00:24:44,744 --> 00:24:46,267 I'd expect you to keep it to yourself. 561 00:24:46,310 --> 00:24:47,747 But then I'd die. 562 00:24:47,790 --> 00:24:49,139 You'd die with honor. 563 00:24:49,183 --> 00:24:50,619 I'm part of this decision too, 564 00:24:50,663 --> 00:24:53,317 and I'm not moving anywhere. - What? 565 00:24:53,361 --> 00:24:55,015 You're the main one always complaining 566 00:24:55,058 --> 00:24:56,712 about everything you miss about D.C. 567 00:24:56,756 --> 00:24:58,235 I enjoy complaining. 568 00:24:58,279 --> 00:25:00,063 Keeps my heart rate up. 569 00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:00,977 Most important, 570 00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,284 as hard as you try to hide it, 571 00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:04,851 I can tell you're happy here. 572 00:25:04,894 --> 00:25:06,853 You don't even know what you're talking about. 573 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:10,509 You're afraid to be happy. 574 00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:12,467 That don't even make sense. I'm already happy. 575 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,773 I'm the happiest person I know. 576 00:25:13,816 --> 00:25:15,383 I'm so happy all day long, 577 00:25:15,426 --> 00:25:17,733 I whistle hallelujah out of the crack of my ass! 578 00:25:17,777 --> 00:25:19,692 I've never heard that. 579 00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,998 Deputy Fred once did a fart 580 00:25:22,042 --> 00:25:23,739 that sounded like the opening chord 581 00:25:23,783 --> 00:25:25,262 of "A Hard Day's Night," though. 582 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:29,136 Thank you. 583 00:25:29,179 --> 00:25:31,573 Okay, I found a bunch of stuff online 584 00:25:31,617 --> 00:25:33,793 about the Alpha Draconians. - Mm-hmm. 585 00:25:33,836 --> 00:25:35,925 They're a lizard people, so, what, 586 00:25:35,969 --> 00:25:37,884 we look for them under rocks or something? 587 00:25:37,927 --> 00:25:40,060 Also, are they poisonous like Komodo dragons? 588 00:25:40,103 --> 00:25:43,672 You do not need to worry. I took care of it. 589 00:25:43,716 --> 00:25:45,935 Wait, what do you mean you took care of it? 590 00:25:45,979 --> 00:25:48,590 When we stopped earlier, 591 00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:51,114 that was on latitude 37 north. 592 00:25:51,158 --> 00:25:55,684 It holds a specific energy that amplifies alien signals. 593 00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:58,382 I left them a note. 594 00:25:58,426 --> 00:26:00,602 I thought you were peeing. 595 00:26:00,646 --> 00:26:02,604 I did that too. 596 00:26:09,306 --> 00:26:12,222 Okay, well, what if they don't respond? 597 00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:13,833 And how are they gonna respond to that? 598 00:26:13,876 --> 00:26:15,008 They will respond. 599 00:26:15,051 --> 00:26:19,142 They are egotistical chicken dicks. 600 00:26:19,186 --> 00:26:21,928 Okay, well, now that we've got some time to kill 601 00:26:21,971 --> 00:26:23,886 before D'arcy's race, we might as well spend it 602 00:26:23,930 --> 00:26:25,758 worrying about what some evil aliens are gonna do 603 00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:27,281 now that you pissed them off. 604 00:26:27,324 --> 00:26:28,325 Mm. 605 00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:30,893 Actually... 606 00:26:32,721 --> 00:26:34,767 I have another idea. 607 00:26:39,336 --> 00:26:40,729 Can I help you? 608 00:26:40,773 --> 00:26:43,036 Uh, hi. Yeah, sorry to bother you. 609 00:26:43,079 --> 00:26:45,821 This is gonna sound crazy, but, um, 610 00:26:45,865 --> 00:26:47,257 by any chance, do you know a woman 611 00:26:47,301 --> 00:26:49,129 who may have lived here a long time ago 612 00:26:49,172 --> 00:26:51,610 by the name of Mary-Ellen Taylor? 613 00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:53,307 What do you want? 614 00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:57,528 Um, I apologize for knocking out of the blue. 615 00:26:57,572 --> 00:27:01,750 We were just in the area, and I thought I'd take a shot. 616 00:27:01,794 --> 00:27:03,143 I'm just looking for any information 617 00:27:03,186 --> 00:27:06,146 you may have about her or where she went. 618 00:27:06,189 --> 00:27:08,670 Like I said, what information do you want? 619 00:27:08,714 --> 00:27:10,716 I'm Mary-Ellen. 620 00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,726 Look, I never set out to be a mother. 621 00:27:20,769 --> 00:27:22,728 And I wouldn't have been a good one. 622 00:27:22,771 --> 00:27:25,121 I totally get that, and you were young. 623 00:27:25,165 --> 00:27:26,427 Babies are expensive. 624 00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:28,472 We live in America, sweetie. 625 00:27:28,516 --> 00:27:30,997 Plenty of poor people raise kids. 626 00:27:32,955 --> 00:27:35,828 - Yeah. - I'm just not the type. 627 00:27:35,871 --> 00:27:38,657 Yeah, I mean, I was 16 when I got pregnant. 628 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,702 I couldn't imagine taking care of a little life. 629 00:27:40,746 --> 00:27:42,312 I could barely manage my own. 630 00:27:42,356 --> 00:27:43,923 I liked my life the way it was. 631 00:27:43,966 --> 00:27:45,098 Yeah. 632 00:27:45,141 --> 00:27:47,535 Still do. 633 00:27:47,578 --> 00:27:50,364 So you've got a kid? 634 00:27:50,407 --> 00:27:52,105 Her name is Jay. 635 00:27:52,148 --> 00:27:55,717 Asta gave her up because her husband was punchy. 636 00:27:55,761 --> 00:27:57,545 I was in a bad relationship, 637 00:27:57,588 --> 00:27:59,721 but that's done. 638 00:27:59,765 --> 00:28:02,158 Jay is in my life now... 639 00:28:02,202 --> 00:28:03,856 sort of. 640 00:28:03,899 --> 00:28:04,900 I'll show you. 641 00:28:06,162 --> 00:28:08,208 Excuse me a second. 642 00:28:08,251 --> 00:28:09,426 Okay. 643 00:28:09,470 --> 00:28:11,646 Hello? 644 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,082 Well, hello to you too. 645 00:28:14,518 --> 00:28:16,346 Mm-hmm. 646 00:28:16,390 --> 00:28:17,870 5:00 at blackjack. 647 00:28:17,913 --> 00:28:20,568 No you won't, you asshole. 648 00:28:20,611 --> 00:28:21,743 No, you haven't paid me back 649 00:28:21,787 --> 00:28:24,790 since the last time I spotted you. 650 00:28:36,584 --> 00:28:38,455 Marty, hey, look, I got to call you back. 651 00:28:38,499 --> 00:28:40,196 I got some people here. 652 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,590 Yeah. No, just give me, like, five minutes. 653 00:28:42,633 --> 00:28:43,896 All right. 654 00:28:46,202 --> 00:28:47,551 Sorry about that. 655 00:28:47,595 --> 00:28:49,902 He's a pain in my ass. 656 00:28:52,121 --> 00:28:54,167 Ah, so this is Jay. 657 00:29:00,651 --> 00:29:02,305 That is Asta's daughter. 658 00:29:02,349 --> 00:29:03,785 You're supposed to say something, 659 00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:06,440 like, "she is pretty," or "she looks just like you." 660 00:29:06,483 --> 00:29:08,442 Oh, it's fine. 661 00:29:08,485 --> 00:29:10,661 I thought you said you gave her up. 662 00:29:10,705 --> 00:29:14,622 Uh, yeah, I--I did. 663 00:29:14,665 --> 00:29:16,450 So then she's not your daughter, right? 664 00:29:19,496 --> 00:29:26,416 665 00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:30,594 Uh, thank you so much for the water, Mary-Ellen. 666 00:29:30,638 --> 00:29:32,118 Um, we should go. 667 00:29:34,076 --> 00:29:37,297 I know you need to be somewhere. 668 00:29:37,340 --> 00:29:39,647 You can take another cookie if you want. 669 00:29:39,690 --> 00:29:41,997 I don't have much of a sweet tooth. 670 00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:43,999 You know-- 671 00:29:44,043 --> 00:29:45,914 Excuse me. 672 00:29:45,958 --> 00:29:49,439 Marty, what did I just say? 673 00:29:49,483 --> 00:29:50,658 What? 674 00:29:50,701 --> 00:29:52,268 No, it's all right. 675 00:29:52,312 --> 00:29:54,488 They're about to leave. 676 00:29:54,531 --> 00:29:55,619 Nah, nothing important. 677 00:29:55,663 --> 00:29:58,535 It was--can you hold on a sec? 678 00:30:00,189 --> 00:30:01,538 Was there something else? 679 00:30:03,714 --> 00:30:05,760 Nothing important. 680 00:30:09,546 --> 00:30:12,593 As a doctor... 681 00:30:12,636 --> 00:30:14,203 smoke more. 682 00:30:22,995 --> 00:30:25,214 I do not care about my alien baby, 683 00:30:25,258 --> 00:30:28,478 even though I have discovered it is my offspring. 684 00:30:28,522 --> 00:30:31,003 Asta's mother is just like me. 685 00:30:31,046 --> 00:30:33,396 She would abandon Asta in the Ice-Wind Desert 686 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,746 and never think of her again, 687 00:30:35,790 --> 00:30:38,227 but Asta does not need to know that. 688 00:30:38,271 --> 00:30:40,708 It is only natural. 689 00:30:40,751 --> 00:30:45,234 You were right to care about my alien baby. 690 00:30:45,278 --> 00:30:48,107 When you share genetic material with a creature, 691 00:30:48,150 --> 00:30:51,893 you cannot help but care for it, 692 00:30:51,937 --> 00:30:56,071 no matter how much you pretend not to. 693 00:30:56,115 --> 00:30:58,073 I know what you're doing, Harry. 694 00:30:58,117 --> 00:31:00,119 What am I doing? 695 00:31:00,162 --> 00:31:02,512 You're trying to make me feel better. 696 00:31:02,556 --> 00:31:04,688 My mother doesn't care about me. 697 00:31:06,081 --> 00:31:09,563 You know, I always had this hole in my past. 698 00:31:09,606 --> 00:31:11,478 It was all a mystery. 699 00:31:11,521 --> 00:31:13,654 Who was she? 700 00:31:13,697 --> 00:31:17,005 You know, what would she be like? 701 00:31:17,049 --> 00:31:19,355 At least now, the hole is filled. 702 00:31:20,791 --> 00:31:23,446 Filled with garbage. 703 00:31:23,490 --> 00:31:24,708 She is garbage. 704 00:31:24,752 --> 00:31:26,406 She is a bag of shit. 705 00:31:27,798 --> 00:31:30,323 Aw, that's sweet, calling my mom shit. 706 00:31:30,366 --> 00:31:32,238 She is poop. 707 00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:35,850 Doo-doo. 708 00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:37,547 - Turd. - Caca. 709 00:31:37,591 --> 00:31:39,245 - Crap. - Number two. 710 00:31:39,288 --> 00:31:42,596 Number three 'cause she's all of them added together! 711 00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:46,382 Thanks, Harry. 712 00:31:47,644 --> 00:31:48,776 Next on the course, 713 00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:50,821 for her final run of the day, 714 00:31:50,865 --> 00:31:53,607 D'arcy Bloom! 715 00:31:57,828 --> 00:31:59,830 All right. 716 00:31:59,874 --> 00:32:01,920 All right, Bloom, you got this. Do your thing. 717 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,970 Athlete, are you ready? 718 00:32:09,014 --> 00:32:11,799 Three, two, one, go! 719 00:32:14,019 --> 00:32:16,064 ♪ I like all the different people ♪ 720 00:32:16,108 --> 00:32:18,980 ♪ I like sticky everywhere 721 00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:20,590 ♪ Look around 722 00:32:20,634 --> 00:32:22,810 ♪ You bet I'll be there 723 00:32:22,853 --> 00:32:24,943 ♪ Hot metal in the sun 724 00:32:24,986 --> 00:32:26,988 ♪ Pony in the air 725 00:32:27,032 --> 00:32:31,340 ♪ Sooey and saints at the fair ♪ 726 00:32:34,691 --> 00:32:36,345 727 00:32:39,348 --> 00:32:41,089 ♪ Saints alive, you're saying ♪ 728 00:32:41,133 --> 00:32:44,092 ♪ Walk in squares 729 00:32:44,136 --> 00:32:45,833 ♪ The hid are out 730 00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:48,009 ♪ Out for the year 731 00:32:48,053 --> 00:32:50,011 ♪ It's a lot of face 732 00:32:50,055 --> 00:32:51,839 ♪ A lot of crank air 733 00:32:51,882 --> 00:32:54,146 ♪ Eroding around here 734 00:32:54,189 --> 00:32:56,235 Yes! Whoo! 735 00:32:56,278 --> 00:32:57,888 Yes! 736 00:33:01,022 --> 00:33:02,719 Looking for someone? 737 00:33:04,330 --> 00:33:06,027 - You came! - Of course I came. 738 00:33:06,071 --> 00:33:07,898 You're incredible. Holy shit! 739 00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:13,295 Thank you for coming. I'm so glad you're here. 740 00:33:13,339 --> 00:33:15,254 Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it. 741 00:33:15,297 --> 00:33:18,126 That's more than I can say for my parents. 742 00:33:18,170 --> 00:33:19,606 Ah, shit. 743 00:33:19,649 --> 00:33:21,086 Ah, don't worry about them. 744 00:33:21,129 --> 00:33:25,046 You got me and all of them. 745 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,272 746 00:33:33,315 --> 00:33:34,577 So proud of you! 747 00:33:34,621 --> 00:33:36,884 Go, go, go. 748 00:33:36,927 --> 00:33:38,451 All qualifying skiers, 749 00:33:38,494 --> 00:33:40,714 please head to the press tent for a photocall. 750 00:33:40,757 --> 00:33:41,715 That's, uh-- 751 00:33:41,758 --> 00:33:43,064 I gotta go to this. 752 00:33:43,108 --> 00:33:44,457 Come with me. It's dumb. 753 00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:46,285 It's press photos. It's really stupid. 754 00:33:46,328 --> 00:33:47,286 I hate them. 755 00:33:47,329 --> 00:33:49,462 Shut up. You love this shit. 756 00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:56,251 757 00:34:00,777 --> 00:34:03,432 Honey. Honey, try some of this cider. 758 00:34:03,476 --> 00:34:05,217 - Oh. - It's insane. 759 00:34:08,959 --> 00:34:11,005 - Mm, amazing. - That cost 8 bucks. 760 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:14,008 - What? - Have a donut. It's 4 bucks. 761 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,315 $4 for a donut? That's ridiculous. 762 00:34:16,358 --> 00:34:19,927 Must be those resort town prices. 763 00:34:19,970 --> 00:34:21,146 You know what? 764 00:34:21,189 --> 00:34:23,496 Actually, I will have two donuts. 765 00:34:23,539 --> 00:34:25,585 Probably had to beat out ten other donut shops 766 00:34:25,628 --> 00:34:26,803 competing for all the tourists. 767 00:34:26,847 --> 00:34:28,283 That's how quality goes up. 768 00:34:30,198 --> 00:34:32,461 The best I have ever had. I mean, what is that? 769 00:34:32,505 --> 00:34:33,549 What is that, coconut? 770 00:34:33,593 --> 00:34:34,681 Mmm. 771 00:34:34,724 --> 00:34:37,336 My God, you are so stubborn. 772 00:34:37,379 --> 00:34:40,295 But hon, I thought we agreed to disagree. 773 00:34:40,339 --> 00:34:43,124 Yeah, well, nobody means that, you know? 774 00:34:46,997 --> 00:34:48,782 Did you see that, doc? 775 00:34:48,825 --> 00:34:50,131 Feeling good. 776 00:34:50,175 --> 00:34:51,828 Looks like maybe your therapy is working. 777 00:34:51,872 --> 00:34:54,222 Did you stop screaming into a pillow 778 00:34:54,266 --> 00:34:55,963 in the living room every morning? 779 00:34:57,878 --> 00:34:59,358 Gonna get another donut. 780 00:35:03,579 --> 00:35:05,320 I scream into the pillow. 781 00:35:07,409 --> 00:35:11,544 I am just going to stare into this fire 782 00:35:11,587 --> 00:35:14,721 until my eyes dry out. 783 00:35:14,764 --> 00:35:16,244 Me too. 784 00:35:21,858 --> 00:35:23,643 Everything okay? 785 00:35:23,686 --> 00:35:26,820 Yeah, I just can't get Ben off this resort thing. 786 00:35:26,863 --> 00:35:28,169 You're a lawyer. 787 00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:29,518 Why are you spending so much energy worrying 788 00:35:29,562 --> 00:35:30,998 about one man's opinion? 789 00:35:31,041 --> 00:35:32,478 What do you mean? 790 00:35:32,521 --> 00:35:34,871 I did some research on temporary restraining orders, 791 00:35:34,915 --> 00:35:36,569 which is what we would need to halt progress 792 00:35:36,612 --> 00:35:39,615 before a preliminary injunction hearing. 793 00:35:39,659 --> 00:35:41,617 Are you in? 794 00:35:41,661 --> 00:35:42,749 When do we start? 795 00:35:42,792 --> 00:35:44,490 Guess who's going to Vail 796 00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,883 for the Hardpack tournament in three weeks? 797 00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:48,189 There she is, the-- 798 00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:51,236 Good job, best friend! 799 00:35:51,279 --> 00:35:54,064 Okay. Come here. Speech! 800 00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:59,200 All right, well, it really-- 801 00:35:59,244 --> 00:36:01,681 it really means a lot that you are all here. 802 00:36:01,724 --> 00:36:02,812 What did you do? 803 00:36:02,856 --> 00:36:03,857 We love you, D'arce. 804 00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:06,381 I love you the most! 805 00:36:06,425 --> 00:36:11,169 Anyway, I want to introduce Elliot, my boyfriend. 806 00:36:11,212 --> 00:36:12,518 - Hi. - Hi, Elliot. 807 00:36:12,561 --> 00:36:13,954 - Hey. - Hi. 808 00:36:13,997 --> 00:36:15,129 Hey, Elliot. 809 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,609 Elliot, this is Asta. 810 00:36:16,652 --> 00:36:18,045 Hey. Elliot. 811 00:36:18,088 --> 00:36:20,221 Hey, come on, get in here. 812 00:36:20,265 --> 00:36:23,529 I have heard so many things about you--all good. 813 00:36:23,572 --> 00:36:25,052 How about our girl, though, huh? 814 00:36:25,095 --> 00:36:26,532 Making the Hardpack tournament? 815 00:36:26,575 --> 00:36:27,663 Yeah. 816 00:36:27,707 --> 00:36:29,143 Well, you know what? 817 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,885 Uh, cider on me, everybody. 818 00:36:33,626 --> 00:36:35,062 They are $8 each. 819 00:36:35,105 --> 00:36:36,759 Okay, somebody buy this champ a cider. 820 00:36:36,803 --> 00:36:39,022 I got you. 821 00:36:39,066 --> 00:36:40,850 - Get in here. - Donut? 822 00:36:40,894 --> 00:36:41,851 - Hi. - Oh. 823 00:36:41,895 --> 00:36:43,984 - Elliot! - Yes. 824 00:36:49,946 --> 00:36:52,906 ♪ It's gonna be all right 825 00:36:54,821 --> 00:36:56,257 What the hell? 826 00:36:59,304 --> 00:37:01,784 You okay on gas? 827 00:37:01,828 --> 00:37:05,484 Yeah, I've got half a tank. 828 00:37:08,051 --> 00:37:09,183 Asta? 829 00:37:10,924 --> 00:37:12,099 Asta! 830 00:37:15,450 --> 00:37:17,757 Uh, okay. 831 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,629 That makes no sense. 832 00:37:20,673 --> 00:37:22,065 Are you okay, Harry? 833 00:37:23,980 --> 00:37:26,592 No, I am not. 834 00:37:26,635 --> 00:37:28,202 Let's go. 835 00:37:36,993 --> 00:37:39,692 836 00:37:39,735 --> 00:37:41,346 This is it. 837 00:37:41,389 --> 00:37:43,957 This is where I saw a UFO when I was ten. 838 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,306 What? 839 00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:48,309 We were on a class camping trip. 840 00:37:48,353 --> 00:37:51,312 I tried to tell the teacher, but he didn't believe me. 841 00:37:51,356 --> 00:37:52,748 Okay, now, look, no offense, Deputy, 842 00:37:52,792 --> 00:37:54,228 but if you was ten years old, right, how you know 843 00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:55,751 it just wasn't your imagination? 844 00:37:55,795 --> 00:37:57,231 I saw it. 845 00:37:59,625 --> 00:38:01,583 I know. 846 00:38:01,627 --> 00:38:04,238 It's safer to be a skeptic. 847 00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,893 But sometimes, don't you want to see the world 848 00:38:06,936 --> 00:38:08,982 as just a little bit magical? 849 00:38:11,550 --> 00:38:14,379 You know, when my mom was alive, 850 00:38:14,422 --> 00:38:17,947 my dad, he was a completely different guy. 851 00:38:19,601 --> 00:38:20,559 You should have seen him. 852 00:38:20,602 --> 00:38:21,908 He had this light inside of him, 853 00:38:21,951 --> 00:38:23,779 right, especially when she was around. 854 00:38:23,823 --> 00:38:25,651 He used to always say he loved the sound of her key 855 00:38:25,694 --> 00:38:27,348 in the door because that's how he knew 856 00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:29,089 the party was about to start. 857 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,137 But when she died, 858 00:38:34,181 --> 00:38:36,357 that light went out, 859 00:38:36,401 --> 00:38:40,622 just like, poof, just gone. 860 00:38:40,666 --> 00:38:46,236 But he got to have it for a long time. 861 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:51,067 I believe life tries to give us gifts, 862 00:38:51,111 --> 00:38:53,940 but we have to be open to receiving them. 863 00:38:53,983 --> 00:38:55,681 Yeah. 864 00:38:55,724 --> 00:38:57,726 I can see that. 865 00:38:57,770 --> 00:39:02,296 I mean, that's why I keep coming back here. 866 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:05,995 I mean, sure, I feel silly just sitting here 867 00:39:06,039 --> 00:39:08,650 all alone like some weirdo. 868 00:39:08,694 --> 00:39:13,438 But one of these times, they might be back. 869 00:39:13,481 --> 00:39:15,178 Now, see, that's where you're wrong. 870 00:39:15,222 --> 00:39:17,224 You don't think they're going to come back? 871 00:39:17,267 --> 00:39:18,530 Oh, no, I don't know nothing about that. 872 00:39:18,573 --> 00:39:22,055 I just know that you are not all alone. 873 00:39:22,098 --> 00:39:26,189 874 00:39:33,501 --> 00:39:35,547 Okay, just tell me you hate him. 875 00:39:35,590 --> 00:39:37,375 You hate him. That's fine. All right? 876 00:39:37,418 --> 00:39:38,985 The sooner you say it, the sooner I can dump him, 877 00:39:39,028 --> 00:39:40,682 and we could just go back to normal. 878 00:39:40,726 --> 00:39:43,076 Elliot? No, I love him. 879 00:39:43,119 --> 00:39:45,208 I--he's--he's lovely. 880 00:39:45,252 --> 00:39:46,384 He's great, right? 881 00:39:50,475 --> 00:39:54,000 If that's not it, what's--what's going on? 882 00:39:54,043 --> 00:39:56,263 Well, uh... 883 00:39:56,306 --> 00:40:01,442 I met my mother today. 884 00:40:01,486 --> 00:40:03,966 Oh. 885 00:40:04,010 --> 00:40:08,493 Wow, wh--how'd it go? 886 00:40:08,536 --> 00:40:10,233 Um... 887 00:40:12,975 --> 00:40:14,150 D'arcy... 888 00:40:17,284 --> 00:40:18,503 Come here. 889 00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:20,983 Before today, I thought parenting 890 00:40:21,027 --> 00:40:23,856 meant an older human taking care of a younger one, 891 00:40:23,899 --> 00:40:26,336 feeding it, clothing it, 892 00:40:26,380 --> 00:40:30,515 making sure it didn't get eaten by wolves. 893 00:40:30,558 --> 00:40:32,734 But sometimes it means protecting them 894 00:40:32,778 --> 00:40:34,736 emotionally too. 895 00:40:36,564 --> 00:40:38,348 This protective instinct isn't unique 896 00:40:38,392 --> 00:40:41,482 to the biological child. 897 00:40:41,526 --> 00:40:43,789 Humans parent their partners too. 898 00:40:45,747 --> 00:40:48,576 They parent their friends when they need to be guided, 899 00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:51,187 when they are afraid or in danger. 900 00:40:53,799 --> 00:40:57,411 But how do you parent when you're in danger too? 901 00:40:57,455 --> 00:41:00,458 - What the hell? - You okay on gas? 902 00:41:00,501 --> 00:41:02,851 Yeah, I have half a tank. 903 00:41:05,767 --> 00:41:06,725 Asta? 904 00:41:08,814 --> 00:41:10,468 Asta! 905 00:41:37,059 --> 00:41:39,322 You are wrong. 906 00:41:39,366 --> 00:41:42,761 It is not the Alpha Draconians here on Earth. 907 00:41:42,804 --> 00:41:45,720 And please, stop sending them messages. 908 00:41:45,764 --> 00:41:49,028 We don't need those idiots down here. 909 00:41:49,071 --> 00:41:51,160 You are the Greys. 910 00:41:52,901 --> 00:41:54,599 What are you doing here? 911 00:41:54,642 --> 00:41:56,949 The Greys have never cared about the Earth. 912 00:41:56,992 --> 00:42:01,214 Oh, my, you are so stupid. 913 00:42:01,257 --> 00:42:05,958 When you say, oh my, does that mean my? 914 00:42:06,001 --> 00:42:07,176 Not yours. 915 00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:08,656 There is an O in it. 916 00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:10,310 Oh, yours. 917 00:42:10,353 --> 00:42:12,225 - Oh, my. - Oh, my? 918 00:42:12,268 --> 00:42:14,183 Oh, my. 919 00:42:14,227 --> 00:42:16,446 Is this a Grey saying? 920 00:42:16,490 --> 00:42:21,713 It is an expression like "wow!" and "holy shit!" 921 00:42:21,756 --> 00:42:24,193 Why do you move so much when you say it? 922 00:42:24,237 --> 00:42:27,109 Because I'm freezing my Grey dick off! 923 00:42:27,153 --> 00:42:28,154 Oh, my. 924 00:42:28,197 --> 00:42:29,721 We know who you are. 925 00:42:29,764 --> 00:42:32,506 It's no use trying to get in our way 926 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:37,816 because we will destroy you and everyone you care about. 927 00:42:40,862 --> 00:42:47,782 928 00:43:05,844 --> 00:43:08,760 That makes no sense. 929 00:43:08,803 --> 00:43:10,283 You okay, Harry? 930 00:43:13,242 --> 00:43:15,201 931 00:43:15,244 --> 00:43:17,551 What I learned today is that sometimes parenting 932 00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,988 means pretending to feel safe. 933 00:43:20,032 --> 00:43:21,381 Oh, my God! 934 00:43:24,079 --> 00:43:25,603 Was that guy in his underwear? 935 00:43:25,646 --> 00:43:27,953 Even when you don't. 936 00:43:27,996 --> 00:43:34,916 937 00:43:36,222 --> 00:43:37,440 Get back here! 938 00:43:37,484 --> 00:43:39,921 Don't hurt him, please! 939 00:43:39,965 --> 00:43:41,706 Honey, stop! 940 00:43:46,101 --> 00:43:53,282 64545

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