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1
00:00:01,712 --> 00:00:03,174
Galavant:
Behold, my fellow travelers.
2
00:00:03,174 --> 00:00:06,006
Today,
We cross the winding straits
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,130
To the rocky river
To the shores of valencia.
4
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:11,222
No, I wouldn't take
The rocky river route.
5
00:00:11,222 --> 00:00:13,184
There are rumors
Of thieves and bandits.
6
00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:15,056
I don't care about bandits.
7
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:18,849
I'm galavant, and galavant will
Be deterred by no foe in his --
8
00:00:18,849 --> 00:00:20,851
Who ate all the raisins
Out of the trail mix?
9
00:00:20,851 --> 00:00:23,023
I hate cashews,
And brazil nuts are gross.
10
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,985
You know what?
11
00:00:24,985 --> 00:00:27,778
Heroes get the raisins.
And they choose the path.
12
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,030
That's just
The way it goes.
13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,154
Look, can we just hold it
Together for a few more days?
14
00:00:33,154 --> 00:00:35,366
We've been doing so well,
Right?
15
00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:37,208
Right.
Right.
16
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:38,999
♪ we eat together ♪
17
00:00:38,999 --> 00:00:40,371
♪ we drink together ♪
18
00:00:40,371 --> 00:00:43,334
♪ we work in perfect sync
Together ♪
19
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:44,335
♪ we smile ♪
20
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:45,546
♪ frown ♪
♪ blink ♪
21
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,170
All:
♪ together completely ♪
22
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:52,383
♪ we walk together,
In time together ♪
23
00:00:52,383 --> 00:00:53,594
♪ can't help ♪
♪ yelp ♪
24
00:00:53,594 --> 00:00:55,386
♪ kelp ♪
All: ♪ but rhyme together ♪
25
00:00:55,386 --> 00:01:01,102
♪ our voices chime together
So neatly ♪
26
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:04,525
♪ and togetherness
Is what we do ♪
27
00:01:04,525 --> 00:01:07,318
♪ together,
Me and him and you ♪
28
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:09,820
♪ like rock ♪
♪ and scissors ♪
29
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:12,113
♪ and paper ♪
30
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,954
♪ and stuck together ♪
31
00:01:13,954 --> 00:01:15,116
♪ all day together ♪
32
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:18,249
♪ we're in each other's way
Together ♪
33
00:01:18,249 --> 00:01:21,041
♪ our quirks
Are on display together ♪
34
00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:23,964
♪ or nearly ♪
35
00:01:23,964 --> 00:01:27,548
All: ♪ but togetherness
Will see us through ♪
36
00:01:27,548 --> 00:01:30,341
♪ unless
I kill the other two ♪
37
00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:33,514
Both:
♪ or we kill her together ♪
38
00:01:33,514 --> 00:01:36,307
♪ but there's some things
We don't share ♪
39
00:01:36,307 --> 00:01:40,771
♪ like the way I've kind of
Sort of totally played him ♪
40
00:01:40,771 --> 00:01:45,025
♪ oh, god,
I've betrayed him ♪
41
00:01:45,025 --> 00:01:48,399
♪ and there's some things
We don't share ♪
42
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:53,994
♪ like I'm kind of sort of
Always thinking about her ♪
43
00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:58,038
♪ or like how you both ignore me
All of the -- ♪
44
00:01:58,038 --> 00:02:00,741
Both: ♪ each day together's
A chore together ♪
45
00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:02,833
♪ a belching ♪
♪ nagging ♪
46
00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:04,165
♪ bore ♪
All: ♪ together ♪
47
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:07,548
Both: ♪ then listening to her
Snore together ♪
48
00:02:07,548 --> 00:02:09,129
[ snores ]
49
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,633
It's like she's a bear.
50
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:16,016
All: ♪ but together, though,
Is what we'll be ♪
51
00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:19,220
♪ for what feels like eternity ♪
52
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:20,641
♪ together ♪
♪ me ♪
53
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,102
♪ and me ♪
♪ and me ♪
54
00:02:22,102 --> 00:02:25,226
All: ♪ as one ♪
55
00:02:25,226 --> 00:02:27,728
♪ as one ♪
56
00:02:27,728 --> 00:02:30,981
♪ as one! ♪
57
00:02:30,981 --> 00:02:36,987
Both: ♪ as -- ♪
♪ as o-o-o-one! ♪
58
00:02:36,987 --> 00:02:38,989
That is so typical.
What's typical?
59
00:02:38,989 --> 00:02:40,951
I thought you said I was gonna
Have the big finish this time.
60
00:02:40,951 --> 00:02:42,162
It was supposed to be
My turn afterwards.
61
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,044
It's never your turn.
Well, no, that's --
62
00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:44,995
[ horse neighs ]
63
00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:46,287
Bandits.
64
00:02:46,287 --> 00:02:48,168
If only someone
Had warned us.
65
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,420
Yeah, well, you snore.
66
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:53,214
[ scoffs ]
67
00:02:57,888 --> 00:03:01,562
I've got something else
You can do with your hands.
68
00:03:01,562 --> 00:03:03,354
[ chuckles ]
69
00:03:03,354 --> 00:03:05,185
[ indistinct conversations ]
70
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:09,069
I cannot believe my queen is
Cheating on me with that joker.
71
00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,441
He's a jester, sir.
72
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:11,862
I know he's a jester,
Gareth.
73
00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:13,864
I was insulting him
By calling him a joker,
74
00:03:13,864 --> 00:03:15,776
Like when you call someone
A clown.
75
00:03:15,776 --> 00:03:17,077
But people like clowns.
76
00:03:17,077 --> 00:03:18,909
Damn it, man!
Would you just let me vent?!
77
00:03:19,870 --> 00:03:23,083
I think I know why madalena
Likes him more than me.
78
00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:25,035
[ both laugh ]
He's funny.
79
00:03:25,035 --> 00:03:27,498
How do I compete
With that?
80
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:31,041
Well, funny's easy.
I mean, I'm funny.
81
00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:32,092
Really?
82
00:03:32,092 --> 00:03:34,715
Yeah. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
83
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,096
He's a [bleep]
You [bleep] Thing up
84
00:03:36,096 --> 00:03:38,178
[bleep] You
In the [bleep] Chair
85
00:03:38,178 --> 00:03:40,010
With the [bleep]
And knees
86
00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:43,684
[bleep] Is taking it
[bleep] Out that son [bleep]
87
00:03:43,684 --> 00:03:45,105
Good lord, gareth.
88
00:03:45,105 --> 00:03:46,807
Do you kiss my ring
With that mouth?
89
00:03:46,807 --> 00:03:48,689
My mum taught me
That one.
90
00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,901
Oof.
91
00:03:50,901 --> 00:03:52,653
[ laughs ]
92
00:03:52,653 --> 00:03:55,856
Now, if that fool is tickling
My wife's funny bone,
93
00:03:55,856 --> 00:03:58,068
It leaves me no choice.
94
00:03:58,068 --> 00:04:00,531
I know
What I have to do.
95
00:04:06,036 --> 00:04:08,369
Hello, jester.
96
00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:10,921
Do you think
I'm an idiot?
97
00:04:10,921 --> 00:04:16,877
I know precisely what you have
Been doing with my wife.
98
00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:19,259
Aah!
99
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,471
[ laughs ]
100
00:04:20,471 --> 00:04:22,092
[ laughing ]
It's a bendy sword.
101
00:04:22,092 --> 00:04:23,053
Isn't that fantastic?
102
00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:25,225
Oh!
103
00:04:25,225 --> 00:04:28,058
Not even a giggle.
104
00:04:28,058 --> 00:04:32,232
See, this is precisely
Why I need your help.
105
00:04:32,232 --> 00:04:34,064
Please teach me
To be funny.
106
00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:35,896
I'm begging you.
107
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,067
Gah!
Ohh!
108
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,899
Oh!
Aah!
109
00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:42,112
[ laughs ] Even when you know it
Bends, you still think -- whoa!
110
00:04:42,112 --> 00:04:43,073
[ gasps ]
[ laughs ]
111
00:04:43,073 --> 00:04:46,286
Please tell me
You hid the jewel.
112
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,908
Of course I hid
The jewel...
113
00:04:47,908 --> 00:04:49,910
In a place where no one
Will ever find it.
114
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:52,292
Uh, excuse me.
Where are you taking us?
115
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,085
The pirate king
Will decide your fate.
116
00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:59,550
"I don't care
What road we choose.
117
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:00,841
"I'm galavant.
118
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:02,222
[ mockingly ]
I get to eat the raisins."
119
00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:03,634
[ mockingly ]
"I'm isabella.
120
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,386
I chew with my mouth open like
A cow working on a fresh cud."
121
00:05:05,386 --> 00:05:08,018
I have a deviated septum.
I told you that.
122
00:05:08,018 --> 00:05:09,600
I can't breathe
Through my nose.
123
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,982
If I chew with my mouth closed,
I'd get no air.
124
00:05:11,982 --> 00:05:13,063
Do you want me to die?
125
00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:16,397
Well...
126
00:05:16,397 --> 00:05:20,030
Wait. What are pirates doing
Miles from the ocean?
127
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,035
[ man wolf-whistles ]
128
00:05:25,035 --> 00:05:27,908
I'm...So sorry.
Am I missing something?
129
00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:29,119
Where's your boat?
130
00:05:29,119 --> 00:05:33,213
I'll be asking the questions
Around here.
131
00:05:33,213 --> 00:05:34,955
All: arr!
132
00:05:34,955 --> 00:05:36,957
Actually, go ahead.
133
00:05:36,957 --> 00:05:38,258
I didn't have
A question ready.
134
00:05:38,258 --> 00:05:41,962
Um...Don't you need a boat
To be pirates?
135
00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:43,764
You're on land.
136
00:05:43,764 --> 00:05:44,885
Land ho!
137
00:05:44,885 --> 00:05:46,677
Carl, stop it.
138
00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:50,270
All you need to be a pirate
Is a dark heart
139
00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:53,063
And a wicked disregard
For other people's lives.
140
00:05:53,063 --> 00:05:54,435
And swords.
141
00:05:54,435 --> 00:05:56,066
[ scoffs ]
Of course swords.
142
00:05:56,066 --> 00:05:57,528
That goes without saying.
143
00:05:57,528 --> 00:05:59,530
Everyone knows
Pirates need swords.
144
00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:01,612
What about a hook hand?
Parrots? Peg legs.
145
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:05,035
Land ho!
I said stop it!
146
00:06:05,035 --> 00:06:08,539
Maybe it'll be easier to explain
In a pirate shanty.
147
00:06:08,539 --> 00:06:11,201
[ groans ]
All: ♪ ho ♪
148
00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:13,454
♪ ho ♪
149
00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,666
♪ we're cruel
And vicious pirate men ♪
150
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,088
♪ as hard and tough as brass ♪
151
00:06:18,088 --> 00:06:20,130
♪ by far the fearsomest
Buccaneers ♪
152
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,341
♪ to ever walk on grass ♪
153
00:06:21,341 --> 00:06:23,924
♪ we pillage here ♪
♪ and plunder there ♪
154
00:06:23,924 --> 00:06:26,176
♪ we rage
From dusk till dawn ♪
155
00:06:26,176 --> 00:06:28,178
All: ♪ we hoist the anchor
And swab the deck ♪
156
00:06:28,178 --> 00:06:29,970
♪ then gather for drinks
On the lawn ♪
157
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:32,142
♪ we're the lords
Of the sea ♪
158
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,184
♪ except we aren't
At sea ♪
159
00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:36,146
♪ we're the lords
Of the sea ♪
160
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,938
♪ just not
Of the actual sea ♪
161
00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:39,730
Arr...
162
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:43,524
♪ now, how we ended up here,
'tis a dire and dreadful tale ♪
163
00:06:43,524 --> 00:06:47,528
♪ the kind to leave the meanest
Rogue a-puking o'er the rail ♪
164
00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:49,530
♪ so fateful, so accursed ♪
165
00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:52,082
♪ such a stroke of evil luck ♪
166
00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:54,124
Both: ♪ our ship washed up
On that thar hill ♪
167
00:06:54,124 --> 00:06:56,246
♪ and hey, I guess it stuck ♪
168
00:06:56,246 --> 00:07:00,090
All: ♪ so now we hold the river
Here by brutal, violent force ♪
169
00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:02,302
♪ we've also taken up
Gardening ♪
170
00:07:02,302 --> 00:07:04,424
♪ sustainably ♪
♪ of course ♪
171
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,426
All: ♪ we make you pay
To cross this way ♪
172
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,639
♪ and squeeze you
Till it hurts ♪
173
00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:10,641
♪ and on the side,
We sell a line ♪
174
00:07:10,641 --> 00:07:12,432
♪ of homemade
Organic desserts ♪
175
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,855
♪ we're the lords
Of the sea ♪
176
00:07:14,855 --> 00:07:16,316
♪ though, technically,
Next to the sea ♪
177
00:07:16,316 --> 00:07:18,148
♪ we're the lords
Of the sea ♪
178
00:07:18,148 --> 00:07:27,157
♪ or sort of "Of the se-e-a"! ♪
179
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:29,570
[ growling ]
180
00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:34,575
So, now we live here,
And we rob any passersby.
181
00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:37,207
Which brings us back to you.
Please, sir.
182
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:40,130
We're merely poor travelers
With nothing worth taking.
183
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:44,174
Hey, captain.
Look what I found.
184
00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:45,215
[ sighs ]
185
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,387
Oh, for the love of g--
In your purse?
186
00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:49,760
That's where you thought
No one would look for it?
187
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,351
I put it
With my girls' supplies.
188
00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:54,144
Guys never look there.
They must have sisters.
189
00:07:54,144 --> 00:07:55,475
[ sighs ]
190
00:07:55,475 --> 00:08:00,100
Poor travelers, huh?
Well, what do we have here?
191
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,151
It's a jewel.
192
00:08:01,151 --> 00:08:03,363
I know it's a jewe--
You know what?
193
00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:05,155
You're having a time-out.
Go to your tent.
194
00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:07,988
Don't you
Give me that look.
195
00:08:14,665 --> 00:08:16,456
Right. Comedy lessons.
Let's begin.
196
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:17,457
[ bells jingling ]
197
00:08:17,457 --> 00:08:19,039
I'm sorry.
What is that noise?
198
00:08:19,039 --> 00:08:22,713
It's my bells, sire.
I'm terrified.
199
00:08:22,713 --> 00:08:24,294
Don't be.
200
00:08:24,294 --> 00:08:26,506
I already told you
I've decided not to kill you.
201
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,088
I mean,
Not that I don't want to.
202
00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:30,090
In fact,
It would be mondo satisfying
203
00:08:30,090 --> 00:08:32,262
To cut your face off
And sew it back on inside out.
204
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,264
[ jingling continues ]
205
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,186
[ jingling stops ]
206
00:08:36,186 --> 00:08:38,398
Nah, I'll stick
With my first plan.
207
00:08:38,398 --> 00:08:40,851
Teach me to be funny
So I can woo my wife.
208
00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:42,853
[ sighs ]
209
00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:44,484
Whatever you say,
My king.
210
00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:49,109
♪ comedy is easy
Once you know the basics ♪
211
00:08:49,109 --> 00:08:51,491
♪ starting with the concept
Of surprise ♪
212
00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:54,825
Right.
♪ take what folks think,
Give it a wink ♪
213
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,077
[ laughs ]
♪ you try it on now
For size ♪
214
00:08:57,077 --> 00:08:58,829
Me?
Yeah.
215
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:02,833
[ screams ]
216
00:09:03,463 --> 00:09:05,215
He was surprised.
217
00:09:05,215 --> 00:09:06,166
Uh...
218
00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:08,168
♪ comedy gold ♪
Really?
219
00:09:08,168 --> 00:09:10,300
♪ I'm telling you,
It's comedy gold ♪
220
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,301
Yes.
221
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,342
♪ you're killing it ♪
222
00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:14,174
♪ if that doesn't
Slay 'em ♪
223
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:15,305
♪ I'll murder you cold ♪
224
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,599
♪ swear to god,
It's comedy gold ♪
225
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,981
Well, our work here is done,
So I'll just be going.
226
00:09:20,981 --> 00:09:22,022
Oh,
We're just getting started.
227
00:09:22,022 --> 00:09:24,735
Ah, right.
Lesson two!
228
00:09:24,735 --> 00:09:28,148
♪ lesson number two
Is also fundamental ♪
229
00:09:28,148 --> 00:09:29,990
♪ something that we call
"The rule of three" ♪
230
00:09:31,111 --> 00:09:34,454
♪ set up the joke,
Give it a stroke ♪
231
00:09:34,454 --> 00:09:35,696
♪ third time, bam ♪
232
00:09:35,696 --> 00:09:37,077
Yes! Now me!
233
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,368
Three serfs
Walk into a bar.
234
00:09:38,368 --> 00:09:39,830
The first serf
Orders a hot grog.
235
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,121
The second serf orders
A hot grog.
236
00:09:41,121 --> 00:09:43,704
And the third serf
Orders a hot grog.
237
00:09:43,704 --> 00:09:45,295
But he has no money
And neither do the other two
238
00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:46,917
Because they're serfs.
239
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,088
Huh?
240
00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:50,971
♪ comedy gold ♪
241
00:09:50,971 --> 00:09:52,592
Yes! Nailed it!
242
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,554
♪ I promise you,
It's comedy gold ♪
243
00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:56,056
♪ hilarious ♪
244
00:09:56,056 --> 00:09:57,307
♪ the crowd
Will be rolling ♪
245
00:09:57,307 --> 00:09:59,559
♪ or heads
Will be rolled ♪
246
00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:01,311
♪ oh, not with all
This comedy gold ♪
247
00:10:01,311 --> 00:10:03,103
More, more!
248
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,065
♪ props can be a riot,
Ethnic humor, can't deny it ♪
249
00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:07,898
♪ or a pratfall,
If it's properly applied ♪
250
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:11,862
♪ depending on the viewer,
Take it black or work it bluer ♪
251
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,283
♪ or try
An observational aside ♪
252
00:10:13,283 --> 00:10:16,496
Have you ever noticed
How lepers
253
00:10:16,496 --> 00:10:18,078
Have pieces
Falling off of them?
254
00:10:18,078 --> 00:10:21,081
I mean,
What's that all about?
255
00:10:22,002 --> 00:10:24,244
Both: ♪ gonna be killer ♪
256
00:10:24,244 --> 00:10:27,087
♪ gonna be ace ♪
257
00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:33,463
♪ folks dying of laughter
All over the place ♪
258
00:10:33,463 --> 00:10:36,466
♪ and if
I get desperate ♪
259
00:10:36,466 --> 00:10:39,099
♪ a pie in the face? ♪
260
00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:40,390
I dare you.
261
00:10:41,561 --> 00:10:44,725
♪ telling you,
It's comedy gold ♪
262
00:10:44,725 --> 00:10:46,146
Oh!
263
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,728
You are
A wonderful teacher.
264
00:10:47,728 --> 00:10:50,360
Perhaps now I shall finally be
Able to satisfy my wife
265
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,571
The same way you have.
266
00:10:52,773 --> 00:10:56,656
My god, we've got
A strange relationship.
267
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,989
♪ telling you,
It's comedy gold ♪
268
00:11:03,043 --> 00:11:05,045
Pirates, that's pomade.
269
00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:08,338
It's for relaxing my curls,
Not eating.
270
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,672
[ sighs ]
271
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,094
Right, men.
272
00:11:14,094 --> 00:11:17,007
Let's stow this booty
In the chest.
273
00:11:17,007 --> 00:11:19,219
Carl, give me the key.
274
00:11:22,642 --> 00:11:25,185
Oh, come on, guys.
Not again.
275
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,187
These idiots really stink
At being pirates.
276
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,398
No kidding.
277
00:11:28,398 --> 00:11:29,730
Unbelievable.
278
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,983
It's kind of nice being
On the same page, isn't it?
279
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,985
It is nice
To have a break
280
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,117
From the relentless stream
Of criticism, yeah.
281
00:11:37,117 --> 00:11:40,660
Maybe if you did things right,
I wouldn't have to say it.
282
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:41,992
Mouth breather.
Egomaniac.
283
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,744
And it's over.
284
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:47,958
You. Walk with me.
285
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:49,329
[ clears throat ]
286
00:11:49,329 --> 00:11:51,131
Oh, right. Of course.
287
00:12:02,102 --> 00:12:03,513
Lads,
Could you give me a hand?
288
00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:04,805
All: arr.
289
00:12:08,348 --> 00:12:12,773
You know, we met before,
At lilith faire,
290
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:15,195
The island of lesbos.
291
00:12:15,195 --> 00:12:18,658
I looked a little different --
Fewer wrinkles.
292
00:12:18,658 --> 00:12:20,450
More like...
293
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,122
Yes, of course.
294
00:12:22,122 --> 00:12:24,454
Well, you're peter pillager,
The pirate king.
295
00:12:25,535 --> 00:12:27,207
Well, your men used to be
The scourge of the seas.
296
00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:28,418
[ sighs ]
297
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:29,499
What happened there?
298
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,081
Oh.
299
00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:34,004
You know how it is when you
Spend too much time with people.
300
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,216
Little things
Start to get to you...
301
00:12:36,216 --> 00:12:38,218
Oh.
...And before you know it,
302
00:12:38,218 --> 00:12:40,220
It's all about who's taken
Whose booty.
303
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,012
"It's my booty."
"No, it's my booty."
304
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,763
Booty, booty, booty.
305
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,306
You stopped
Working together.
Big-time.
306
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:49,980
We can't even agree on how to
Get our ship off that damn hill.
307
00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:54,524
The truth is...
I could do with a man like you.
308
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,948
So I have
A proposition.
309
00:12:57,948 --> 00:13:01,822
Either, "A,"
I kill all of you
310
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,995
And keep that jewel
And the girls' supplies.
311
00:13:04,995 --> 00:13:06,076
Why do you want
The girls' supplies?
312
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:10,120
Or "B," you join me
And I let your squire
313
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,173
And that annoying little
Mouth breather go.
314
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:15,545
Well,
In all fairness to her,
315
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,008
Only 'cause she's not here
To defend herself,
316
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:20,130
The mouth breathing
Is a medical condition,
317
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:21,922
So she can't really
Help it.
318
00:13:21,922 --> 00:13:23,513
Seems like
A pretty simple fix to me.
319
00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:25,515
Put food in mouth,
Close mouth, chew.
320
00:13:25,515 --> 00:13:27,727
What kind of moron
Can't do that?
321
00:13:27,727 --> 00:13:29,479
[ chuckles ]
322
00:13:29,479 --> 00:13:32,312
Again, not to get
Into semantics here,
323
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,565
But if she closes her mouth
While she eats,
324
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,989
She's literally not breathing
Out of anywhere.
325
00:13:38,989 --> 00:13:40,110
You get used to it.
326
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,491
Honestly, lately,
I can't fall asleep
327
00:13:41,491 --> 00:13:43,203
Until
She starts snoring.
328
00:13:43,203 --> 00:13:45,615
Dude, you're making me
Uncomfortable.
329
00:13:45,615 --> 00:13:48,208
Who are you choosing,
Me or the mouth breather?
330
00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:51,621
Call her a "Mouth breather"
One more time.
331
00:13:51,621 --> 00:13:54,004
Mouth breather.
332
00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:56,376
How did you do that?
333
00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:58,338
I keep trying to
Tell everyone...
334
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,509
Oh.
335
00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:02,172
...I'm not just the guy
That eats the raisins.
336
00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:03,303
[ gasps ]
337
00:14:05,225 --> 00:14:07,227
Chef:
Excuse me, excuse me.
338
00:14:07,227 --> 00:14:10,230
Chef coming through. Thank you.
This way, my lady.
339
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:11,972
Here's your table,
My queen.
340
00:14:11,972 --> 00:14:12,973
What fresh idiocy
341
00:14:12,973 --> 00:14:15,025
Does king richard have in store
For me now?
342
00:14:15,025 --> 00:14:16,606
Um, I'm...
343
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,608
That was rhetorical.
Shoo.
344
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,611
Chef out.
345
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:22,983
[ thudding ]
346
00:14:22,983 --> 00:14:24,905
Welcome to the show!
347
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,988
I introduce to you,
Without further ado,
348
00:14:27,988 --> 00:14:29,369
The king of comedy!
349
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:33,413
Hello! Thank you very,
Very, very much.
350
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:34,834
Now, I understand
You've all come here
351
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,837
Under threat of death,
And I appreciate it.
352
00:14:37,837 --> 00:14:40,420
In fact...I ordered it.
353
00:14:43,093 --> 00:14:45,005
Everybody laugh!
354
00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:46,806
[ laughter ]
355
00:14:46,806 --> 00:14:49,059
What on god's flat earth
Is going on?
356
00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:51,011
Well, they say the way
To a woman's heart
357
00:14:51,011 --> 00:14:52,392
Is through her funny bone,
So --
358
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,394
Oh, god.
Let's not do this.
359
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,067
Why did the king
Go to the dentist?
360
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:58,478
To get
His teeth crowned.
361
00:14:58,478 --> 00:15:01,191
To get his teeth crowned.
Uh, you've heard that one.
362
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:03,113
Mm! "You might be a peasant"
Jokes.
363
00:15:03,113 --> 00:15:07,527
If you have more children
Than teeth,
364
00:15:07,527 --> 00:15:10,290
You might be a peasant.
365
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:15,085
Is this thing on?
[ pops ]
366
00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:18,708
Ugh. He's dying out there.
Give him the pie.
367
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:20,090
Now?!
368
00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:22,132
That's the big finale.
369
00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:24,094
Damn it, man,
Look at the poor bastard.
370
00:15:24,094 --> 00:15:25,675
Give him the pie.
371
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:32,102
If your toilet is a tree,
Then you might be...
372
00:15:35,475 --> 00:15:37,647
[ laughter ]
373
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,861
She laughed!
It worked! She laughed!
374
00:15:41,861 --> 00:15:43,063
Quick, give me more pies
375
00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:45,235
So I can keep hitting gareth
In the face.
376
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:47,988
Or someone else.
I-I can pie someone else.
377
00:15:51,741 --> 00:15:52,742
You're a fool.
378
00:15:52,742 --> 00:15:54,334
When my men
See me captive,
379
00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:56,956
They will swarm on you
Like hornets.
380
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,128
No. Bees.
381
00:15:58,128 --> 00:15:59,339
No,
Hornets was better.
382
00:15:59,339 --> 00:16:01,041
Well,
You can let them try,
383
00:16:01,041 --> 00:16:02,422
But I'll be damned
If I'm letting my team
384
00:16:02,422 --> 00:16:04,004
End up like yours.
385
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:07,047
So I'm gonna rescue them,
Rouse us to work together,
386
00:16:07,047 --> 00:16:09,049
Defeat your -- hold on.
387
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,892
Oh, for the love of mike,
What happened?
388
00:16:12,892 --> 00:16:14,054
[ sighs ]
Sid was right.
389
00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:16,436
It was time to stop bickering
And work together.
390
00:16:16,436 --> 00:16:18,058
So we did,
And we overthrew the camp.
391
00:16:18,058 --> 00:16:20,060
You missed
An amazing battle,
392
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,731
Better than anything
At castle black.
393
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,444
Well, fyi,
I was also gonna come back,
394
00:16:24,444 --> 00:16:26,776
And I was gonna suggest that
We start working together, too,
395
00:16:26,776 --> 00:16:28,198
Wasn't I? Tell them.
Oh, please, stop.
396
00:16:28,198 --> 00:16:29,819
This whole time, I've been
Saying that I was gonna --
397
00:16:29,819 --> 00:16:31,031
This is all
A little humiliating.
398
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,783
You know what?
Doesn't matter.
399
00:16:33,783 --> 00:16:35,245
I know we've been
Driving each other crazy,
400
00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:37,327
But I think we've got something
Really good going on here.
401
00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:40,460
I mean, look at us --
We're gorgeous, very diverse.
402
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:41,621
I think
If we pull it together,
403
00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:45,045
We could do something great,
Legendary even.
404
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,627
What do you say?
405
00:16:47,627 --> 00:16:49,219
We are diverse.
406
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,432
Super diverse.
407
00:16:52,432 --> 00:16:55,014
I remember when
We had something special.
408
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,936
All: arr.
409
00:16:56,936 --> 00:16:57,937
I miss us.
410
00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:02,021
Now, look, either we can take
Your pirate supplies --
411
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,733
The swords, the hooks...
412
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:04,734
Parrots.
Booty.
413
00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:06,066
Peg legs.
Girls' supplies.
414
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,698
Yes, yes, all of it,
Or we can work together
415
00:17:08,698 --> 00:17:13,283
To get your ship off that hill
And you can take us to valencia.
416
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,454
What do you say?
417
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,663
Did I just
Cut your hand?
418
00:17:23,663 --> 00:17:26,126
Yes. Very badly.
419
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:27,967
Sorry.
420
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,175
Where are you going?
421
00:17:35,175 --> 00:17:36,976
It's time
For 4:00 fool-around.
422
00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,098
Is it?
423
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:41,101
M-my sundial must be slow
Because of the...C-clouds.
424
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,943
If you're worried I'm upset
About you helping my husband
425
00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:45,985
With that ridiculous show,
Then don't be.
426
00:17:45,985 --> 00:17:49,189
Who cares?
He's an idiot.
427
00:17:49,189 --> 00:17:50,950
Yes, well,
That's the thing.
428
00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:52,492
I don't think
I can do this anymore.
429
00:17:52,492 --> 00:17:57,117
I guess I just feel
A little...Guilty.
430
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,958
Well, that's very noble
Of you
431
00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:01,121
To care about
Someone's feelings.
432
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:03,623
Guards!
433
00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:05,165
If you're developing
A conscience,
434
00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:06,546
Then
You're no good to me.
435
00:18:06,546 --> 00:18:08,208
Take him to the dungeon,
The really scary one.
436
00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:09,419
With the mice.
437
00:18:09,419 --> 00:18:10,630
Wait, no! Please!
438
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,212
At least let me change
My clothes!
439
00:18:12,212 --> 00:18:14,844
These are gang colors!
440
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,217
Oh, hello.
441
00:18:17,217 --> 00:18:18,558
I was just coming
To see steve.
442
00:18:18,558 --> 00:18:20,140
Who's steve?
443
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:22,682
Steve mckinzie.
The jester.
444
00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:25,145
You don't
Know his name?
445
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:26,936
Well, no matter.
446
00:18:26,936 --> 00:18:31,151
Say, what do you call
A tiny mosquito in a tin suit?
447
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:32,942
Oh, god.
Nope.
448
00:18:32,942 --> 00:18:34,944
A gnat
In shining armor.
449
00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:36,946
[ chuckles ]
I've got so many of these.
450
00:18:36,946 --> 00:18:38,037
Please stop talking.
451
00:18:38,037 --> 00:18:39,539
[ laughing ] No,
I love talking with you.
452
00:18:39,539 --> 00:18:41,951
Right, you maggots!
453
00:18:41,951 --> 00:18:44,834
Let's get this boat
Off the hill.
454
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:47,207
What?
455
00:18:47,207 --> 00:18:50,210
It's just nice to hear you
Call us "Maggots" again.
456
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:53,012
You've always been maggots
In here.
457
00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:54,964
All: arr!
458
00:18:54,964 --> 00:18:56,966
Prepare the lines!
459
00:19:03,102 --> 00:19:05,565
All: ♪ we heave together,
We ho together ♪
460
00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:07,647
♪ all working toe to toe
Together ♪
461
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,359
♪ ahoy,
Look out below together! ♪
462
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:11,321
Run away! Run away!
463
00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:16,115
♪ now off together,
We'll cruise together ♪
464
00:19:16,115 --> 00:19:18,278
♪ with pirate stuff
We'll use together ♪
465
00:19:18,278 --> 00:19:20,580
♪ guys, we should get tattoos
Together ♪
466
00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:21,911
Arr!
467
00:19:23,873 --> 00:19:27,086
♪ and, together,
Look what we can do ♪
468
00:19:27,086 --> 00:19:29,168
♪ together
We're one scurvy crew ♪
469
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,631
♪ together, we're not bad ♪
♪ it's true ♪
470
00:19:31,631 --> 00:19:33,423
My god,
Just get a room, you two.
471
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:40,220
All: ♪ togetherness will see us
Through to the end ♪
472
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,892
Land ho!
473
00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:44,394
"Land ho," indeed,
Carl.
474
00:19:47,357 --> 00:19:49,569
[ sighs ]
475
00:19:49,569 --> 00:19:50,980
Gal...
476
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,151
Can I call you "Gal"?
477
00:19:52,151 --> 00:19:53,813
Uh, well,
I don't love it.
478
00:19:53,813 --> 00:19:56,616
[ sighs ]
I have to talk to you.
479
00:19:56,616 --> 00:19:58,027
I feel a little guilty
About something.
480
00:19:58,027 --> 00:20:00,370
Actually, so do I.
481
00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:02,952
I stashed a bag of trail mix
Before we left.
482
00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:05,204
Raisins intact.
483
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,706
[ chuckles ]
Really?
484
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,917
Knock yourself out.
485
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,999
And feel free to eat
With your mouth open.
486
00:20:09,999 --> 00:20:11,591
It's not as gross
As I make it out to be.
487
00:20:11,591 --> 00:20:15,214
I mean, it's gross,
But it's not gross-gross.
488
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:20,049
Listen, galavant,
489
00:20:20,049 --> 00:20:22,642
I think the reason
I've been so difficult recently
490
00:20:22,642 --> 00:20:24,013
Is that I was
Villainizing you
491
00:20:24,013 --> 00:20:26,185
So I felt better
About myself.
492
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:27,807
I'm probably signing
My parents' death warrant
493
00:20:27,807 --> 00:20:30,400
By telling you this, but...
494
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,811
I lied.
495
00:20:31,811 --> 00:20:34,354
I'm leading you
Into a trap.
496
00:20:35,655 --> 00:20:38,067
Galavant?
497
00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:39,989
We're almost there.
498
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:42,362
Did you hear anything
I just said?
499
00:20:42,362 --> 00:20:44,364
Sorry.
500
00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:46,666
I don't always listen
When you talk.
501
00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:48,828
I will get better
At that.
502
00:20:48,828 --> 00:20:49,869
What were you saying?
503
00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:51,631
Something about your parents
Or something?
504
00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:55,425
I'm looking forward
To seeing them.
505
00:20:55,425 --> 00:20:57,967
Right. Yeah.
Parents are the best.
506
00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:02,181
Godspeed, pirates.
507
00:21:02,181 --> 00:21:03,803
To valencia!
508
00:21:03,803 --> 00:21:07,146
All: arr!
509
00:21:07,146 --> 00:21:09,188
I'm coming, my love.
36462
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