Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:06,638
[sobbing]
2
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,407
Child, what is up
with captain hero?
3
00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:10,309
Lately he's been
an emotional wreck.
4
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,811
[sobbing]
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,480
[trumpets]
6
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:16,548
[sobbing]
7
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,617
Hold me.
8
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:20,252
I can't.
9
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,389
[sobbing]
10
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:26,859
[whistling]
11
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:31,230
Maybe he ran out of his
super power potion,
if you know what I mean.
12
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,215
Housemates, report
to the living room!
13
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:53,052
The producers told us
that we must start
a business of our choosing.
14
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,486
I wanted to have
a bake sale,
15
00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:56,588
But the stereotypes
had other ideas.
16
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,457
Let's open a hair salon!
17
00:00:58,491 --> 00:00:59,758
We could shine shoes.
18
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:05,831
Let's eat potato salad!
19
00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:07,800
Princess:
finally we all agreed.
20
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:11,036
[together]
a suicide hotline!
21
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,538
Suicide hotline?
22
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,273
Now how the hell did
we come up with that?
23
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:17,710
Goddamn white producers
24
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,912
With their goddamn
white flashes.
25
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:22,481
They can edit us
to make us say
whatever they want.
26
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:25,951
My...Tail...Is...Made...
Out...Of...Bacon.
27
00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:27,119
Stop it!
28
00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,755
Anyway, where was I?
Oh, yeah.
29
00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,024
My tail,
100% pure bacon.
30
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:34,159
A suicide hotline.
31
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:36,028
This is gonna be
so much fun!
32
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,229
No, it ain't.
33
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,731
Remember how
you got bored
34
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,332
With them pit bulls
you adopted,
35
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,067
And then I had
to find 'em a new home
36
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,168
With them muppet babies?
37
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:47,272
Aah!
Aah!
38
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,508
And I don't wants to
be responsible for
39
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:51,977
No stupid ass
suicide hotline.
40
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,513
Oh come on foxy.
This time it'll be different.
41
00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:55,514
We'll stick with it!
42
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:56,749
All:
yea! Come on!
Please?
43
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,084
I lit a homeless
girl on fire.
44
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,720
What the...
That's horrible!
45
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:02,654
Who said that?
46
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,023
All:
I don't know.
Wasn't me.
47
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,991
Fire's happy now.
48
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:14,266
Well, be that as it may,
I will not be a part of
no suicide hotline.
49
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,902
Nuh-uh, no way,
no how, no sir.
50
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:18,570
Ok, let's do it.
51
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:19,672
Goddamn it!
52
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,306
Goddamn it!
53
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,012
I'm just so sad
all the time,
54
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:29,348
And I don't know
how to get better.
55
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,150
I have nowhere to turn.
56
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,552
I mean, whose job is it
to save a super hero
57
00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:35,054
When he's in trouble?
58
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,955
Batman?
Oh, no.
59
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,857
You get tipsy
at one cocktail party
60
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,393
And do one little impression
of his parents being murdered
61
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:44,363
And suddenly he won't
return your phone calls.
62
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:46,899
[deep voice]
now, see, are you ready
to die, batman's parents?
63
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,167
[imitates woman]
oh, don't shoot!
64
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:49,835
We're batman's
mommy and daddy!
65
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:50,869
[gunshot]
66
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,175
You should talk
to a professional.
67
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:57,876
You're right,
gay friend,
68
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:01,347
But I'm embarrassed
about getting therapy.
69
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,148
Don't worry,
girlfriend.
70
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,583
I won't tell anyone.
71
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,585
Oh, I know
you won't, xandir.
72
00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:08,654
I know you won't.
73
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:10,456
What--
[muffled talking]
74
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:11,690
[moans]
75
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:16,829
And now to erase your memory
of this entire conversation.
76
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,367
We set up
our suicide hotline,
77
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,469
And I put myself
in charge
78
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,604
Of producing
a little commercial.
79
00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:29,908
Hey, stud, are you
longing to swallow
80
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,810
A handful of pills?
81
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:35,014
Or do you think about
putting a hole
82
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,616
In your head?
83
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:41,520
Then call our sultry
suicide hotline.
84
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,423
We'll do anything
to keep you alive.
85
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:46,825
[breathing heavy]
anything.
86
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,127
There's so much
to live for.
87
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,062
Call now! Our hot
and horny operators
88
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,930
Are standing by.
Live!
89
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,132
Announcer:
results may vary.
90
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,434
There may not be
much to live for.
Toot is fat.
91
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:58,937
And now, we wait.
92
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,608
[rings]
93
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:06,445
[rings]
94
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:09,281
Ohh!
Phone.
95
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:11,316
[together]
oh.
96
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:12,785
Yup, yup.
97
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,721
[together]
yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yup.
98
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:19,591
Brrriiing!
Brrriiing!
99
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:21,427
Yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup.
100
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:22,928
Yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup.
101
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,164
Brrriiing!
102
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:28,200
Well, doc, I guess
five for fighting put it best
103
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:31,236
In their heart-wrenching
power ballad.
104
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,973
¶ I'm more than a bird,
I'm more than a plane ¶
105
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,209
¶ I'm more than
some pretty face ¶
106
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:38,844
¶ beside a train-- ¶
107
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,246
[sobbing] it's like
he wrote it for me.
108
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,815
As a fake psychiatrist,
109
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,550
I believe
that all dysfunction
110
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,618
Is a result
of childhood trauma.
111
00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,121
The best treatment for this
is to simulate the womb
112
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,923
Of the patient's mother
using blankets
113
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,658
Or a whale's vagina.
114
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:56,128
[whales bellows]
115
00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:57,963
Now tell me
about your parents.
116
00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,398
Well, according to lore,
117
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:02,334
Seconds before
my home planet zebulon
crashed into the sun,
118
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,237
My parents,
they sent me to earth.
119
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:09,541
But my parents,
they died.
120
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,210
It should have been me.
121
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:13,178
[whispers]
it should have been me.
122
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,180
It's not your fault.
123
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,448
[sobbing]
124
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,117
[whale bellows]
125
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,086
He was right.
It wasn't my fault.
126
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,389
Thank you,
unborn baby whale.
127
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,891
You were as helpful
as you were delicious.
128
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,728
[chattering]
129
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,096
Well, what do you know?
130
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,966
They was taking
responsibility
for the hotline.
131
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,602
I guess sometimes
foxxy's wrong
about her housemates.
132
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,103
Like when I first moved in,
133
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,906
I thought toot
was a giant penguin
with face cancer.
134
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:44,276
I'm cured!
Oh, I'm cured!
135
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,245
My therapist
made me realize
136
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,781
That it's not my fault
my parents are dead.
137
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,349
I couldn't have
stopped zebulon
138
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:52,084
From crashing
into the sun.
139
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:53,786
You mean the
planet zebulon?
140
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,922
Zebulon didn't crash
into no sun, captain 'tardo.
141
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:58,290
What you talkin'
about, foxxy?
142
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:01,593
Zebulon is a thriving planet
with a booming economy.
143
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,095
[scoffs]
yeah, right.
144
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:04,363
As if.
145
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,799
We order zuebulini's
takeout all the time.
146
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,501
You love the
deep fried
zebulonads.
147
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,970
I never put
the 2 together.
148
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:12,971
Don't you remember?
149
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,840
We went to zebulon
for spring break.
150
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,276
Dude, I was so wasted
the whole time.
151
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,578
Plus we're stealing
our cable from zebulon.
152
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,647
Captain hero:
ok, ok, I get it!
153
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:24,583
How else could we watch
everybody loves zorgablack?
154
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,785
Man, I hate
that patricia
heatonglab.
155
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,153
What a klexblunt.
156
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,023
Well then, if zebulon
didn't blow up,
157
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,225
That would mean...
158
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:36,628
My parents
are still alive.
159
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,297
Oh, my god.
160
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,798
Oh, my god.
161
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,833
Oh, my god!
162
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:44,203
[dramatic music plays]
163
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:48,007
[telephone rings]
guys!
164
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,441
Where the hell are you?
165
00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:52,244
Just when I started
to trust those fools.
166
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,613
There is only 2
excuses for walking away
167
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,215
From suicidal
people in need,
168
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,617
And I don't see
no nuclear holocaust.
169
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:02,388
And I don't hear no free
bell biv devoe concert
in a swap meet parking lot.
170
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,157
[all ringing]
171
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,592
[sighs]
172
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:14,466
Suicide hotline.
173
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,636
"my name is laine.
How can I help you?
174
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,705
Remember to sound
like you care."
175
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,674
Man:
I'm a quadruple amputee.
176
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,709
My life is a living hell.
177
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,811
Shit, you think
you got it bad?
178
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,913
You should try living
with some roommates.
179
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,616
Now if I write my name
on a bag of funions,
180
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,017
Them ain't your funions!
181
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,619
Those foxxy funions!
182
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:37,356
You don't understand me.
Nobody understands me!
183
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,792
I might as well kill
myself right now!
184
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,827
No, wait!
Hello?
185
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:46,899
Those goddamn cunt, shit
186
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:50,169
Dumb ass piss fuck
meatball dick cock
mother fuckers!
187
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:54,139
After I learned that zebulon
never plummeted into the sun,
188
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,709
I realized I would
never be complete
189
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,210
Without meeting
my parents.
190
00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,512
I needed to phone home.
191
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,881
[theme fre.T.
The extra-terrestrial plays]
192
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,117
And that's exactly
what I would do
193
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,752
As soon as
I was done playing
194
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,388
With my new sex robot.
195
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:10,556
Oh, yeah, baby.
196
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,124
[slobbering]
197
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:15,527
Ooh!
198
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,296
[mechanical voice]
n-o means n-o.
199
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,131
Why doesn't
he just remove the chip
200
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,632
That makes me feel pain?
201
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,969
So, I sent out a signal
to my home planet zebulon
202
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,406
And waited for a response.
203
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,308
Could it be?
204
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,542
Could it be?
205
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,684
[thump]
206
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,652
[gases hissing]
207
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,657
Mommy?
Pop-pop?
208
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,127
Son?
Look at you.
209
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:51,530
[whimpers]
210
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,999
[whimpers]
211
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,067
[gags]
212
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,306
Pop-pop!
213
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,042
Nice to meet you,
mr. Hero.
214
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,777
I couldn't believe it.
215
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:09,048
After all this time,
I was with my parents.
216
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,518
Seems like all my
wishes are coming true.
217
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,753
Come on, big boy hair!
218
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,956
[choir singing]
219
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,992
What the hell
are y'all doing?!
220
00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:23,028
You are supposed to be
on the suicide phones.
221
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,330
Doo-hoo!
We found something
much more fun.
222
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,599
A dead, bloated frog
in the storm drain.
223
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,336
At first, we had
a tea party with it.
224
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,871
But now we're
worshipping it as a god.
225
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,574
Some poor fool
with no arms
and legs called,
226
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:36,942
And now he's gonna
off himself
227
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,410
If we don't stop him.
228
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:39,611
What are you, deaf?
229
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,280
We're playing
with frog god.
230
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:45,217
Fine. Once again foxxy
gonna have to clean up
y'all's mess.
231
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,019
Frog god. Idiots.
232
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,756
Everybody know
that salamander jesus
is the only true god.
233
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:56,061
Finally my dreams
of being with my parents
had come true.
234
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:59,631
We had to make up
for so much lost time.
235
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:02,468
¶ soft music ¶
[burps]
236
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:06,972
Oh! Oh! Oh!
237
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,807
Owie!
Owie!
238
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:09,975
Ohh.
239
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,411
You are not going out
looking like that.
240
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,046
And take out
that piercing!
241
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,181
I hate you!
I hate you!
242
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:21,987
[crying]
243
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:25,357
[loud dance music plays]
244
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,926
Ohh!
Ohh!
245
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,695
[drunken babbling]
246
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,732
Huh?
Leave me alone!
247
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,067
Leave me alone!
248
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:40,939
¶ will you hold
me if I cry?... ¶
249
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,509
Mommy...
250
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,577
I'm home.
251
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:50,516
¶ sometimes I still
miss my first love. ¶
252
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,384
I used all my
mystery-solving
know how
253
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:55,454
To find that suicidal
no arms and legs guy.
254
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,190
Here, suicidal
no arms and legs guy!
255
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:01,126
Here, suicidal
no arms and legs guy!
256
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,661
But it wasn't working.
257
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,563
I was just about
to give up when...
258
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,498
Toot: looks like you
could use some help.
259
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,100
What are you guys
doing here?
260
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,635
We realized that
it wasn't right
261
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,470
To make you
clean up our mess.
262
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,105
Plus frog god
dried up in the sun
263
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,540
And the neighbor's
dog ate him.
264
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,009
We want to help you
find the suicidal guy,
265
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,211
And we know
just how to do it.
266
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,683
[up-tempo music plays]
267
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,563
[music ends]
268
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:40,199
Hey, I know this guy.
Me, too.
269
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,233
I can take you to him.
270
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,670
I am so proud
of you guys.
271
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,439
Now let's go find
this four-stump chump.
272
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,509
Since you've
been here,
273
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,178
I've enjoyed
the best montage
of my life.
274
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,515
I--I love you, eema.
275
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,351
Oh, son,
I love you, too.
276
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,021
Too much to keep
lying to you.
277
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,689
And you deserve
to know the truth
278
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,625
About how you came to be
on planet earth.
279
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:07,826
Eema?
280
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:10,529
Hero comics?
281
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:13,866
Planet zebulon?
282
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,545
[chuckles]
that's a good one, pops.
283
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,615
Eema, you had
me aborted?
284
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:04,750
Ugh!
[cat yowls]
285
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,253
I hate you, mommy.
I hate you, pop-pop.
286
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,589
I wish I were
never born!
287
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:14,626
Oh, baby.
I know the feeling.
288
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,062
[door slams]
289
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,733
Come on, captain hero,
290
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,836
You're not the lamest
superhero ever.
291
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,337
Come out
of the dumpster.
292
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,807
No. This is where my mommy
wanted me to be anyways.
293
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:33,812
Well, hey, what would
five for fighting do?
294
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,781
[hums superman]
295
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,185
You're right.
296
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,955
Five for fighting wouldn't
sit in this dumpster
297
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,656
Feeling sorry
for themselves.
298
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,959
No! They would get
out of this dumpster
299
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,895
And prove to their eemahote
and their pop-pops
300
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,531
That they aren't lame!
301
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,699
That's the spirit.
302
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,834
The five for fighting spirit.
303
00:13:58,271 --> 00:13:59,571
And I've got
just the plan,
304
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,774
But I'll need
your gay help.
305
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,942
[tongue slurping]
306
00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:08,113
Foxxy: so we all met
our suicidal quadraphaligic
jeff.
307
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,315
We tried to show jeff
live was worth living
308
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,584
By playing some fun games.
309
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,687
My name is clara,
and the animal
310
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,656
That best describes
my personality is a dove
311
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,259
Because they sing
and they're white.
312
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,495
Now it's your turn, jeff.
313
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,731
My life is
an endless hell.
314
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:29,368
I spend all day
laying in bed
soiling myself
315
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,204
While my home care nurse
burns me with cigarettes.
316
00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:38,744
[sighs]
a squirrel, I guess.
317
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,849
At that point,
it became obvious
to all of us.
318
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,018
If somebody's life
is that terrible,
319
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,219
That pathetic,
320
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:50,089
Then maybe death is
the only answer.
321
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,724
Jeff, listen,
322
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,726
If you want
to end your pain,
323
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,561
We ain't gonna
stand in your way.
324
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,664
Oh, bless you.
Bless you all.
325
00:14:58,698 --> 00:14:59,965
Now, of course,
I can't move,
326
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,267
So you must pull
the plug for me.
327
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:07,973
[rope creaks]
328
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,576
[wind howls]
329
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,978
Ohh.
330
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,947
Uhh!
331
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:17,850
What the...?
332
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,551
Don't fight me.
333
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,453
If I can light
a homeless girl on fire,
334
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,355
I can certainly
stab you.
335
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,924
Help! Help!
336
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:28,160
We meet again,
two-hands.
337
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,928
You're too late,
captain hero.
338
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:34,299
You won't be able to stop me
and my 2 hands this time!
339
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,101
Ha! That's what
you think.
340
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:37,836
Uhh!
Oh, no!
341
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:40,506
My hands!
Both of them!
342
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,342
I've got a new name
for you, two-hands.
343
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,444
Aah!
Semicolon.
344
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,012
Jesus, hero!
345
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,647
Now that
I've captured you,
346
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:51,417
Lets find out
who you really are.
347
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,418
Xandir, you're--
348
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,486
Oh, yeah.
I forgot it was you.
349
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,821
We set this
whole thing up.
350
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,056
Mother fucker!
351
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,525
You said you wouldn't
really hurt me!
352
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,460
Captain leslie hero,
353
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:04,697
You thought this would prove
you're not a lame superhero?
354
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,466
Mom, don't call me leslie
in front of two-hands.
355
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,469
The doctor was right.
You are so lame!
356
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:11,503
I'm not lame!
357
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,639
[crying] yes.
Yes, you are!
358
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,808
Please, mom!
Please don't do that!
359
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:16,909
Don't be mean to me!
360
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,577
I'm not being
mean to you.
361
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,579
You're just too lame
to see it.
362
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:21,680
You don't know
what I can do!
363
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,515
What I'm gonna do!
You don't know!
364
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,850
You don't know
what I'm gonna be!
365
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,753
I have good things
and you don't know it,
366
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,622
And I'm gonna be somebody
and don't tell me I'm not!
367
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,591
[sobbing]
368
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,932
I'll show my eema.
369
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,433
I'll show her
what I can do.
370
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:44,069
She told me zebulon
crashed into the sun,
371
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,206
Well, zebulon, you think
you're so teeming with life?
372
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,875
We'll see how teeming
with life you are now!
373
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,583
Uhh! Uhh!
374
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,722
Oh, yeah!
375
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:06,225
[people screaming]
376
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,395
Captain hero, one.
377
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:13,065
Millions of innocent
zebulonian civilians--
378
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:16,969
Uh...Oh. Dead.
379
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,538
Whoopsie-daisy.
380
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,874
[footsteps squeaking]
381
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,113
Can we do this?
382
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:31,450
We can agonize
over this decision
for hours.
383
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:36,789
Foxxy: but ultimately
we realized
we had no choice.
384
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,590
All right,
let's do it.
385
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,026
Together now,
on the count of three.
386
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,462
[together]
1, 2--
387
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,064
Freeze, deuce bags!
388
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,165
Uhh! Uhh!
389
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,900
Jeff, what you doin'?
390
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:51,036
My name isn't jeff.
My real name is jeffrey,
391
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,871
And I'm part of
an undercover sting unit
392
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,773
Called the special
tactical operations unit
393
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,076
To catch people
who set up suicide hotlines
394
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,544
Because of
a reality show
challenge,
395
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,112
And then didn't follow
through on them,
396
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:01,547
So they caused the
people who needed them
397
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,548
To take their own lives,
398
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,982
And then they
changed their minds
399
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:05,851
When they realized
not all people should
be forced to live,
400
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,020
So they try to assist
someone in euthanasia
401
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:09,955
Or as we call it
for short,
402
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,691
The s-t-o-u-t-c-p-w-
403
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:15,861
S-u-s-h-b-o-a-r-s-c-a-
404
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:19,665
T-d-f-t-o-t-s-t-c-t-p-w-
405
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:23,535
N-t-t-t-m-w-r-t-n-a-p-s-
406
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:27,406
B-f-t-l-s-t-t-t-
a-s-I-e team.
407
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:30,743
Goddamn hotline.
408
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,478
I can't go back to jail.
409
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,213
[hysterical]
I won't go back!
410
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,682
No!
411
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,684
Foxxy, take my gun
and handcuffs
412
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:42,221
Out of the drawer and
cuff these murderers.
413
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,922
Hold up, jeffrey.
414
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,624
Now you ain't
got no back up?
415
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,360
Are you kidding?
This place is surrounded.
416
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,561
Art's got my back.
417
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,130
Don't move,
assholes!
418
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,631
Matt's guarding
the back door.
419
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:53,632
Yo!
420
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:55,100
And bob's
covering
the harbor.
421
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,937
Huh? Huh? Oh.
422
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,739
Ow!
423
00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:01,974
This is so stupid.
424
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,977
It's like some retarded
third grader wrote this.
425
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:07,046
Now come on.
Put the handcuffs on.
426
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,213
I'm not joking.
427
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,549
All right,
we just gonna
leave now.
428
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,784
You mean leave to walk
429
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,053
To the police
station, right?
430
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:15,854
Tell 'em it was me!
431
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:17,656
Yeah, I'll get
a promotion.
432
00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:21,660
Bob: ow! Ow! Ow!
433
00:19:21,695 --> 00:19:24,229
Ohh! Uhh!
434
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,366
What a stupid move
destroying zebulon.
435
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,602
Xandir, my eema
was right.
I am lame.
436
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,906
I don't deserve any
of these medals and awards.
437
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,574
[clanking]
438
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,775
They're all dead!
439
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,777
Everyone I've ever
known is dead!
440
00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:41,680
Eema,pop-pop,
I guess I should tell you--
441
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:44,416
Some asshole destroyed
all of zebulon.
442
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,952
Who would do
such a terrible thing?
443
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,421
Who?
Who?!
444
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:52,758
Yes, well, it's actually
a funny story about that.
445
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,561
Son, can we stay
here with you?
446
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,163
You know, till we find
an apartment?
447
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,499
Oh, of course.
448
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,969
You'd do that
after what we did to you?
449
00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:07,606
Mommy, you're my eema.
450
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,309
Nothing will
ever change that.
451
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:13,779
Not even you
aborting me.
452
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,715
Oh, son, I was
wrong about you.
453
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:19,418
There are so many
definitions of a hero,
454
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,853
But for me,
455
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,056
Someone who lifts you up
and gives you hope
456
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:27,059
When some dickhead throws
your planet into the sun,
457
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,228
That is a hero.
458
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:33,399
A super hero
like captain hero.
459
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,603
Capt. Hero:
I had finally gained
my parents approval.
460
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,339
Oh, guys,
this is gonna be great.
461
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:43,876
The three of us
living together
like a real family.
462
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,344
Oh, but don't tell
my roommates
463
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,779
You're staying here
rent free.
464
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,947
Sure.
We won't tell
anybody.
465
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,816
Oh, I know you won't.
466
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,317
[deep voice]
I know you won't.
467
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,852
[groans]
[groans]
468
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:57,289
And now to erase
your memories
469
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:59,425
Of this entire
conversation.
470
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:03,762
Foxxy: hi, captain hero.
471
00:21:03,797 --> 00:21:05,364
Aah!
Oh, my god!
472
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,299
You got your
big boy hair!
473
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,368
More jews.
474
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:12,304
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
475
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:15,040
[telephone rings]
476
00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,910
Yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup.
477
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,245
Brrriiing!
478
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,647
Brrriiing!
479
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:25,317
[together]
yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yup.
480
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:28,454
Brrriiing!
Brrriiing!
481
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:31,457
[together]
yup, yup, yup, yup
yup, yup, yup, yup.
482
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:35,327
Brrriiing!
Brrriiing!
483
00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:37,329
Yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup.
484
00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:39,131
[together]
yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yup.
485
00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:42,234
Brrriiing!
Brrriiing!
486
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:45,237
[together]
yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yup.
487
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:47,272
Brrriiing!
488
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,041
Brrriiing!
489
00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:50,843
Yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup.
490
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:52,378
[together]
yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yup.
491
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:55,481
Brrriiing!
Brrriiing!
492
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:58,017
[together]
yup, yup, yup, yup,
yup, yup, yup, yup.
33987
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
