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1
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,363
Sweetheart.
2
00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:17,409
Go over to the window right now
3
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:20,954
and open it as wide as you can.
4
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,999
Please let me sleep.
5
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,764
I think your mother's here from Mexico,
6
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,600
and she needs to leave.
7
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,686
Open the window now.
8
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:47,439
Why don't you open it, you lazy...
9
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:52,903
Somebody help!
10
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,657
Close your mouth!
11
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,581
No way. Can I ride him?
12
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,433
A deer!
13
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,529
Okay.
14
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:44,037
Daddy, I left the front door open
in case any animals wanted to come in.
15
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,497
- You did, huh?
- And one did.
16
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,332
- Yeah.
- Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
17
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,210
No, you did a nice thing, sweetheart.
18
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,004
Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
19
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,007
- Daddy, no!
- No, no, I'm not going to hit the deer.
20
00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:57,968
I'm just going to massage his head
for a little bit with it.
21
00:02:58,052 --> 00:03:00,137
Okay, come on, come on.
22
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,228
He's right here.
23
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,147
He's eating Bowser's food.
24
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,858
Okay, he knows we're here now.
25
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,110
Stay. Stay.
26
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:18,363
What's he looking at?
27
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,867
Move your doll towards me.
28
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,118
And back to you.
29
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,913
Towards me.
30
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,789
Back to you.
31
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,166
Three times, fast.
32
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,795
Give me that thing.
33
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,548
- Mr. Gigglesworth?
- No, don't worry. Give it to me.
34
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,675
- Go on. It's okay. It's okay.
- Put it in my hand.
35
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,177
Roxanne, take them in there.
36
00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:42,012
Over there.
37
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:45,140
Hey, dude. You like this guy?
38
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,976
You want to play with him?
39
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,897
All right, let's go play in the other room.
40
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,816
Come on. Come on, man.
41
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:56,401
Slowly walk with me.
42
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,070
I said slowly.
43
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,154
No.
44
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:01,990
Get out of the way!
45
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,744
Oh, my God!
46
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,998
Problem solved.
47
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,336
Mr. Gigglesworth! Daddy, he's killing him!
48
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,338
A new problem begins.
49
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,215
I'm sorry.
50
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,175
Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?
51
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,221
Easy.
52
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:27,599
It is nice.
53
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,268
- Thank you, all right.
- Cool, yeah.
54
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:30,602
Yeah, come on.
55
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,983
28?
56
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,444
Yes.
57
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,448
35.
58
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,952
That's right again, smarty-pants.
59
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:48,287
Hi, Dad.
60
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,123
- Hey, Bean, working on the math, huh?
- Yep.
61
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,293
Mommy said
if I get all my math questions right,
62
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,837
I get to ride my bike to school
with Becky Feder.
63
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:01,133
Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?
64
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,718
Seventy-nine.
65
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:07,889
Is he a little boy or a computer?
'Cause I can't figure it out.
66
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:10,642
Don't destroy his confidence.
67
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,311
Happy summer, everybody.
68
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:17,524
Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?
69
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,318
I know you bedazzled them yourself.
70
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,236
I'm just wondering if they'll attract
71
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,323
too much attention,
you know, from outer space.
72
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,158
It's the last day of school,
73
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,909
and Mom says I'm free to express myself.
74
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,496
Building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.
75
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,584
Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
76
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:36,668
Confidence.
77
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,211
Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.
78
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,088
That's for sure.
79
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,674
Looks like a horse
took a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
80
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,053
You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.
81
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:49,598
Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo grenade
go off in your diaper?
82
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,517
- You gonna change it?
- That's not my son, that's your son.
83
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,479
Yesterday was my diaper day.
84
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:59,441
Today he is all yours,
and it's gonna get nasty.
85
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,277
Go, Ronnie.
86
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,196
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
87
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,530
He looks like Nicki Minaj
88
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,075
trying to shake her butt implants
back into place.
89
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,702
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Come on, Ronnie.
90
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,037
Go, Ronnie.
91
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,705
You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?
92
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,415
Nah, just one repairjob.
93
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,792
Very special.
94
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,543
All right, I'm going in.
95
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,547
What is...
96
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,970
What is this?
97
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,598
A necklace?
98
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,226
Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
99
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,353
Wow, Dad, you remembered.
100
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:40,315
Yeah.
101
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,485
Mom didn't.
102
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,071
That's cold.
103
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,615
I think I'm gonna bust out of here.
104
00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,617
So he gets off the train and nobody's there?
105
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,744
Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you
106
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:56,248
so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.
107
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,624
Well, not to be mean,
108
00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:00,377
but I'm not even 1,000% sure who you are.
109
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:02,754
I was up from Florida.
110
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:07,092
Right in the middle of making out,
I got a really bad case of the hiccups.
111
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:09,177
Hiccups McGee?
112
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:13,682
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?
113
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,475
And no offense, but I'm gonna have to ask
114
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,768
for a DNA test, you know,
115
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,354
because you just never...
116
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,150
No need.
117
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:24,860
Later, Hiccups.
118
00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:39,374
You're him.
119
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,460
Yeah, without the hat.
120
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,753
It's actually a good likeness.
121
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,214
How you doing, man?
122
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,550
I'm your dad.
123
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,386
Nice to see you, Braden.
124
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,388
That's strike one.
125
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,099
Good news is, you get...
126
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,018
Unlimited amount of strikes.
127
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,188
How about I take you to school?
128
00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,440
No school.
129
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:05,150
Summertime.
130
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:07,903
Not yet. One more day. I know, it's a drag.
131
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,572
Normally I'd let you just blow it off
and play hooky,
132
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,908
but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,
133
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,576
so when I'm done,
134
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,912
I'll come pick you up and we'll hang out.
135
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,455
I got you this, but...
136
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,708
Obviously you're, like, 13, so I don't know,
137
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,251
but it's actually pretty nice
138
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,670
and cute,
and you should cut the head off it, okay.
139
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,174
Well, let's get going.
140
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:32,385
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, don't forget this.
- Is it a gift?
141
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,679
No, it's the Gigglesworth massacre.
142
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,932
I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.
143
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,183
What?
144
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,185
Martha Stewart couldn't fix this.
145
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,394
Come on.
146
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:45,357
But you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.
147
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,067
That's why I've been thinking,
148
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,735
we moved back here to your hometown
149
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,404
so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?
150
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,614
That's right.
151
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,701
How would you feel about expanding?
152
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,954
- Having another kid?
- Yeah.
153
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:02,707
But it's perfect right now, you know?
154
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,252
If I buy one large pizza, Greg gets two pieces,
155
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:07,963
Keith gets two, Becky gets one,
you get one, I get four.
156
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,297
It's kind of perfect, you know.
157
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,882
I don't want to have to buy another pie.
158
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,553
Why don't you go on a diet, fat gordo �ste?
159
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,471
Come on, I've had a job since I'm 16.
160
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,473
It's the first time I've got a free schedule.
161
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,058
I'm just enjoying the fun.
162
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,769
Don't forget Becky's ballet recital at 11:00.
163
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,729
I got to go to that?
164
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,982
I mean, I get to go to that? Great.
165
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:30,819
I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.
That's great news.
166
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,989
Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!
167
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,365
I love you all!
168
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:36,866
- Bye, Mom, bye.
- Bye, Mom.
169
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,285
Yeah, last day of school, Greg.
170
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,121
Last chance to ask out Nancy Arbuckle.
171
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,248
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?
172
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,792
Is that why you've been taking
them long showers?
173
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,419
No, I'm conditioning my hair.
174
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:50,088
That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.
175
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:51,381
That's not what the deer told me.
176
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,674
That deer's a liar.
177
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:57,137
I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.
178
00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,555
What? Where'd you hear that?
179
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,932
- Higgins.
- I should kill him.
180
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,603
He's too chicken to ask her out, Dad,
'cause she's the hottest girl in school,
181
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:05,770
and Greg is fugly.
182
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,273
So what he's fugly?
All the guys in our family are fugly.
183
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:10,233
That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.
184
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,278
Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.
185
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,946
Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.
186
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,740
Every guy in school likes her, Dad.
187
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,074
And you'll be the guy who ends up with her.
188
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,910
You know why?
You're gonna follow my three-step program.
189
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,455
Number one, make the girl smile.
190
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,790
Number two, tell her she has a nice smile.
191
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:29,294
Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.
192
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,337
Why that night?
193
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,714
'Cause it gives her less time
to think about how fugly you are.
194
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:33,965
'Cause you are fugly.
195
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,759
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.
196
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:39,137
And Keithie's right...
I'm too chicken to even talk to her.
197
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:42,140
Hey, you're a Feder.
Feders ain't afraid of women, buddy.
198
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,933
That's not the way I'm raising you.
199
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,144
By the way, Dad, did you
ask Mom if I can play football?
200
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,604
No, I was scared.
201
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,732
I'm afraid she's gonna yell at me
in that accent that no one understands.
202
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,734
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
203
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,361
School starts at 8:15.
204
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:57,572
That means we only have 25 minutes.
205
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:03,787
Daddy, you promise
Mr. Gigglesworth will be better by bedtime?
206
00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:06,498
Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.
207
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,333
- Have the best last day, okay?
- Okay.
208
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:09,542
- Bye, guys.
- Bye, Daddy.
209
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,836
- Love you.
- And you read the street signs, okay?
210
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,088
Don't let Bean.
211
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:16,216
My God, riding their bikes to school.
212
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,885
Couldn't do that in L.A.
with the nuts out there.
213
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:21,763
Yeah, 'cause thank God
there's no crazy people out here.
214
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,521
How you doing, Nick?
215
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,024
My wife's leaving me after three weeks.
216
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,527
Three weeks? That's not bad for you.
217
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,028
What happened?
218
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,490
She found me eating a banana with my butt.
219
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,409
And she didn't like that?
220
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,577
Yeah, she got really bummed out,
221
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,706
but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.
222
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,209
Yeah, you... You seem like you're
a little extra out of it today.
223
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,377
What's going on?
224
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:53,795
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
225
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,881
I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,
226
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,759
and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.
227
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:00,844
But I don't feel better!
228
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,554
You feel worse!
229
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:12,147
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.
230
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,316
Finally got yourself a job.
231
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,694
Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io Iglesias back there.
232
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,868
Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.
233
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:27,203
Thank you, Lenny.
234
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,081
Lenny remembered. Isn't that sweet?
235
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,751
- And I never got him pregnant.
- She forgot?
236
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,253
- Yeah, she forgot.
- No.
237
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,630
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free card
in the world.
238
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,215
I want one of those.
239
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,800
You ain't never get one like this. Hey, honey,
240
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,094
I'm gonna take a ride to work with Lenny.
241
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,556
Don't worry about forgetting the 20th.
I'm sure you'll remember the 30th.
242
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,808
I love you.
243
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,603
Yeah, sure you do... Deep down.
244
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,653
That's not another necklace in there, is it?
245
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,659
I'm gonna abuse this get-out-of-jail-free card,
246
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,119
I'm telling you right now.
247
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:12,040
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good rug
without taking off my boots.
248
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,418
Or have a nice non-diet soda with my dinner.
249
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,379
Not just one, either, a whole damn pitcher.
250
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:20,381
- So you're going full gangsta.
- Yeah.
251
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,133
But you know what I'd really like to do?
252
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,635
Throw a "first night of summer" party.
253
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,136
- Yeah.
- You know, something a little crazy.
254
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,223
Well, it's been many, many years
since we've done something crazy.
255
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,682
Just one problem, though.
256
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,392
My house isn't big enough.
257
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,061
But yours is.
258
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,730
Last party I had
was senior year in high school.
259
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,732
Yeah, that was, like, the best night of my life.
260
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:38,817
We all hooked up with chicks.
261
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,652
Come on, why not do that again?
262
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:45,448
Because we already have chicks and kids
and high cholesterol now, so just...
263
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,575
It's time to move on.
You want to come over tonight with Dee,
264
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,827
that's fine... I think.
265
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,161
I got to ask my wife first.
266
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,163
Okay, gangsta.
267
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:57,001
Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
268
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,169
I made them.
269
00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,671
You made them?
270
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,297
In a toilet?
271
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,676
That kid's like white Precious.
272
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,053
Get lost, Duffy.
273
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,471
Yeah, leave her alone.
274
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,515
Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?
275
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,184
- You got something to say to me?
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
276
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,437
Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.
277
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,856
Yes, you in the camouflage jacket
278
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,607
and Mariah Carey hairdo.
279
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,068
Yeah, just pop a squat, thank you.
280
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:25,530
You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.
281
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:26,614
Leave me alone.
282
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,700
Beanbag with arms and legs,
283
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,076
seriously, take a seat,
284
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,078
or seats, before someone gets hurt.
285
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,164
You're dead, man.
286
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,760
I'm gonna go get some things done,
287
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,680
and then I'm gonna go
to my daughter's ballet recital,
288
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,724
so you're on your own until lunchtime.
289
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,976
No worries. No one will come in anyway.
290
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,897
Right.
291
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:02,442
Does Leonard ever talk about me?
292
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:03,902
Leonard?
293
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:04,986
Your husband.
294
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,654
Lenny.
295
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,991
I probably should have told you this
before I started working here,
296
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,077
but he used to be my boyfriend.
297
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,791
When did you guys go out?
298
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:19,959
Sixth grade.
299
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:21,586
This one time,
300
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:25,506
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
301
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,595
I brought in a note
302
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:35,099
that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.
303
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:38,019
I just felt weird having a secret with you.
304
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:45,276
"Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"
305
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,486
That's what I wrote.
306
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,279
"Barrette. "
307
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,239
And that was his response.
308
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,663
Does it bother you that I still wear it?
309
00:15:56,747 --> 00:16:00,333
No, no, no, I think it's sweet.
310
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,879
I think he still has feelings for me.
311
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,881
I'm gonna go work out now.
312
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,467
Do you really think that a tight, toned body
313
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,803
will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?
314
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:15,014
I hope so. Bye.
315
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,475
You just messed with the wrong girl, chica!
316
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:23,481
They spray-painted my baby.
317
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,149
Gee, and everything's spelled right.
318
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,943
These can't be my students.
319
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,741
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
320
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,494
Hey, guys, can you believe this?
321
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,413
Calendar turns to June,
322
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,915
my wonderful students,
they become animals.
323
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,583
Maybe they're just mad that you keep going
324
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,168
to the babyGap to buy your clothes.
325
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,170
Hey, Principal Tardio, good morning.
326
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,006
Right to class, right to class.
327
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,842
How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?
328
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,388
Remember, today is only a half a day.
329
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,181
- And a half a shirt, right?
- What?
330
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,100
- I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
- Okay.
331
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,562
- Here he goes.
- I'm excited about the summer, too.
332
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,731
Hey, that's my laptop! That's not waterproof!
333
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,525
- Monkey boy, monkey boy.
- Summer!
334
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,610
- Monkey boy.
- Summer!
335
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,447
Summer! Summer!
336
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,616
So, what do you think?
337
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,285
Do I take you straight to work?
338
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:22,040
I got one appointment I got to get to
sometime between 8:00 a. m. and 4:00 p. m.
339
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,207
- Okay.
- But she can wait.
340
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,418
Good. And look at this.
341
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,295
He's back at it again.
342
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,796
Why isn't he at work?
343
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:34,010
He's just... This woman has a grip on him.
It's ridiculous. It's gonna ruin his marriage.
344
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,763
Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.
345
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:39,849
Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?
346
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:43,436
Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?
347
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,812
We sure do.
348
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,024
- Okay.
- Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,
349
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,108
good to see you.
350
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,402
Nice school bus, Lenny.
351
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,154
Thank you. Have a great day.
352
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,031
Did Mommy make the boo-boo go away?
353
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,824
Don't tell the wife.
354
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,034
What are you guys doing?
355
00:17:58,118 --> 00:17:59,827
Get in.
356
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,955
Oh, hey, Nick.
357
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,123
Nice. Nice.
358
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,541
Let's hit it.
359
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,460
Watch this.
360
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,424
- Wow.
- You got to respect that.
361
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,509
That was awesome.
362
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:18,846
What's Lenny's problem?
They're so cute when they're little.
363
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:21,099
I know. I miss it.
364
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:23,768
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
365
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,022
You miss that? Really?
366
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,566
Stay. Stay.
367
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,901
Don't you growl at me.
368
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,069
Stay, baby, stay.
369
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,278
Excuse me.
370
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,447
Is your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?
371
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,949
That's not my kid.
372
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,827
That's my lover, and he's very gentle.
373
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,581
Kids don't belong in here.
374
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,375
That leash better not trip me up.
375
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,918
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
376
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:52,088
It's your big-ass, hairy man feet
that are gonna trip you up.
377
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:55,716
She was just joking around, sir.
378
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,469
Cool it. You're gonna get us killed.
379
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:01,097
I'm sorry. I'm having the worst day.
380
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,391
Welcome to Squat Fitness, ladies.
381
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,644
Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.
382
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:08,479
I'm sorry. It's only five till...
383
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,399
Yeah, so he asked me to lead you
in some warm-up exercises.
384
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:14,652
So, everybody, up on your feet,
385
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:17,280
and let's take a deep breath.
386
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:18,656
Good.
387
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,950
Deeper... Really stretch out those lungs.
388
00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:22,201
And now let's shimmy.
389
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,619
Shake the shoulders back and forth.
390
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,454
Shake them.
391
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,248
Very good, very good.
392
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,917
Yeah, oh, yeah.
393
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,420
Now let's do some jackhammer squats.
394
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:35,006
Right, put your hands
in front of you like this. Just relax.
395
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,924
And then squat up and down but fast.
396
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,551
Faster, faster, there you go.
397
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:39,635
Really fast.
398
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,304
Faster, faster.
399
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:43,222
Too fast. Do it a little slower.
400
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,599
Now, everybody turn,
401
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,101
face the back of the room, bend over,
402
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,686
and reach for your toes.
403
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,812
Why do we have to turn around?
404
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,022
If you please.
405
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:55,735
And bend over as low as you can go.
406
00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:59,447
Now take the right hand and
slap it against the right cheek.
407
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,366
Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.
408
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,244
Good, I want to hear that slap.
409
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,663
Yes, this is wonderful.
410
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,041
Morning, ladies.
411
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,542
You started without me?
412
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,794
Yes, just like you asked me to.
413
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,339
Say it's true even if it isn't.
414
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,174
What?
415
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:21,010
You loved it! You loved it!
416
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,890
Yeah, that's my boy.
417
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,309
- All right.
- You're all prostitutes!
418
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,436
Anyway, I'm Kyle,
419
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,357
and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.
420
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:38,194
I wish they called it something else,
but that's what they told me to say.
421
00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,989
Okay, so, before we start for real,
422
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,199
any questions?
423
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:44,575
Yes.
424
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,952
Are you married?
425
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,119
No.
426
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,371
Nope, I'm... I'm single.
427
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,164
Yeah.
428
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:54,543
I forgot.
You're so gorgeous, my head is spinning.
429
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:55,920
I'm sorry. God.
430
00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,047
Go ahead.
431
00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:02,218
I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.
432
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:05,680
The first part of the question is,
"Did a scientist make you in a lab?"
433
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,431
And the second part of the question is,
434
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,850
"Can I stick my tongue
down your throat, please?"
435
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:13,604
All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, I am,
436
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:17,608
but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.
437
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,486
Of course he is.
438
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:22,196
- All of 'em.
- That sucks!
439
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,489
What a waste!
440
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:24,949
Stay out of my bag, little man.
441
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:27,076
Why does she have this?
442
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,370
That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.
443
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:54,979
Well, well, well,
444
00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:56,689
if it isn't Hollywood
445
00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:59,150
and the Squares.
446
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:01,485
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,
447
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:04,322
and apparently the hair on top of your head
didn't know it, either.
448
00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:05,573
What?
449
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:06,824
Do me a favor, go like this.
450
00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:08,617
I think I got something in my teeth.
451
00:22:08,702 --> 00:22:09,994
- What?
- You know,
452
00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:13,497
next time, you should use
that Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
453
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:14,832
What?
454
00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:15,875
Why is Higgins buying
455
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:17,376
O.J.'s knife right now?
456
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,587
- You think you're tough?
- Hey, Malcolm,
457
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,298
is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?
458
00:22:22,382 --> 00:22:23,591
I don't even get that.
459
00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:24,967
What?
460
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:26,135
Come on, let's cheer him up
461
00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:27,511
Benny Hill-style. Here we go.
462
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:28,721
Come on, come on, come on, come on...
463
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:29,972
Does that make you feel better?
464
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:33,851
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?
465
00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:35,686
Good, good. He's in school.
466
00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:37,688
Kid's in school for one day?
467
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,858
I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.
468
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,527
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
469
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:46,072
So you're gonna buy this to cut his head off?
470
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,366
No,
I just want him to think I'll cut his head off
471
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,992
so then he won't cut my head off.
472
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:53,037
You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?
473
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,623
May I suggest this?
474
00:22:59,169 --> 00:23:03,923
Sir? Sir? Can you get off the bed?
475
00:23:04,007 --> 00:23:05,716
It's wake-up time.
476
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:10,388
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.
477
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:12,598
Now, why is... Being mean?
478
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:16,018
I like sleeping over. It's just you always yell.
479
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:18,104
You don't have to yell at me.
480
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:19,980
I love you.
481
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,440
I don't understand.
482
00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:26,237
Clean-up, aisle nine.
483
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:28,739
Get out of me!
484
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,700
And bring a shovel.
485
00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:35,371
So, my son Bumpty told me
486
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:38,082
he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.
487
00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,960
First of all, my daughter's
never been out on a date before,
488
00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:43,921
and I'm sure she's not gonna start off
with some kid named Bumpty.
489
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:46,966
He is the only other black kid in her grade.
490
00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:48,843
Wait, you want her to date a white guy?
491
00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:50,428
Yeah, Farrakhan.
492
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:52,596
I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world
493
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:54,765
than your little bald-headed boy.
494
00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:57,935
All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,
495
00:23:58,019 --> 00:23:59,687
'cause I already had the talk with him.
496
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,522
- What talk?
- Dating.
497
00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:04,400
I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.
498
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:07,862
You know, beep-beep.
499
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,783
What?
500
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:15,327
I should get some pepper spray for my kid.
501
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,830
Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,
502
00:24:17,914 --> 00:24:19,707
and he refuses to fight back.
503
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:22,168
You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.
504
00:24:22,252 --> 00:24:23,669
- Who?
- You.
505
00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:25,671
What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.
506
00:24:25,755 --> 00:24:27,506
Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh
507
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,049
moved here from Texas?
508
00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:32,595
He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.
509
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:34,513
Tommy Cavanaugh was a 'roid freak.
510
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,599
He had back zits on his back zits.
511
00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:38,267
Plus, he was joking around with me.
512
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:41,312
If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.
513
00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:42,605
Hey, isn't that Cavanaugh right there?
514
00:24:42,689 --> 00:24:44,648
Where?
515
00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:46,650
Gotcha.
516
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,819
That was really funny, man, really funny.
517
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:52,656
Hey, you weren't exactly Captain Courageous
when we were growing up, now, were you?
518
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,617
Hey, I never backed out of a fight, though.
519
00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:57,161
Yeah, but did you everjump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
520
00:24:57,245 --> 00:24:58,746
That's right.
521
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:00,915
He always came up
with a lame excuse not to do it.
522
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,500
- What are you talking about?
- "I can't.
523
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,877
"I'm on my period. It'll attract sharks. "
524
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:10,007
Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.
525
00:25:10,091 --> 00:25:13,302
My mom did that jump
when she was pregnant with me.
526
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,522
There's a raft in there?
527
00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:34,156
Who did that?
528
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:38,744
All right, little birds. Find your nests, man.
529
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:42,623
Float down. There we go, and we're in.
530
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:43,791
All right, guys,
531
00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:47,211
normally we don't have exciting news
this late into the term,
532
00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:50,631
but we have a new student joining us today,
Braden Higgins.
533
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:51,966
Hey, there's an empty seat over there, man.
534
00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:54,301
Why don't you go cop a squat?
535
00:25:58,598 --> 00:26:00,558
Or go that way, man.
536
00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:02,643
Take your own path.
537
00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:09,900
No.
538
00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,402
I sit here.
539
00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:19,577
Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
540
00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:22,246
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.
541
00:26:22,330 --> 00:26:24,456
The best. Great, great man.
542
00:26:25,667 --> 00:26:28,460
I want to smash his face.
543
00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:30,546
- Yeah, me, too.
- Yeah, I hate that guy.
544
00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:32,506
Screw him.
545
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:38,762
Yo, Charlotte, hold up, hold up. Question...
546
00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:41,932
How would you like to spend
the first night of summer
547
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:44,768
with a hardcore up-and-comer?
548
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:47,021
What does that mean?
549
00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:48,606
I think he's asking you out.
550
00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:49,732
He is?
551
00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,358
You are?
552
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,943
I don't make stuff up.
553
00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,404
Well, can Donna come?
554
00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:57,406
Three's a crowd, McCloud.
555
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:59,575
No, he didn't. Yes, he did.
556
00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:03,370
It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.
557
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:04,538
Just you two.
558
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,125
All right. I mean,
559
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:09,918
I'd have to ask my parents,
560
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:12,504
but I think that would be okay.
561
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:13,589
Hey, Bumpty.
562
00:27:13,673 --> 00:27:16,133
You think just because
it's the last day of school,
563
00:27:16,217 --> 00:27:19,261
you can sit and socialize the entire period?
564
00:27:19,346 --> 00:27:22,431
I don't think about stuff like that,
Lady Shorts.
565
00:27:22,515 --> 00:27:23,724
Well, can you think fast?
566
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:28,979
Who wants to watch me climb a rope?
567
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:32,399
Yeah!
568
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:35,069
You're the man!
569
00:27:36,404 --> 00:27:40,115
Yo, he's got to put those Easter eggs
back in the basket.
570
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,700
Dang!
571
00:27:41,785 --> 00:27:43,827
Kelly, I don't want to hear it!
572
00:27:44,037 --> 00:27:45,746
I can't take it anymore!
573
00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:47,998
I wish I never had you!
574
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:49,750
Stop it! Stop it!
575
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:51,794
See, that's why I don't want four kids.
576
00:27:52,462 --> 00:27:54,254
- Yeah, people with fourjust lose their minds.
- Yeah.
577
00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:55,589
They're yelling, they're screaming.
578
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,758
Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.
579
00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,260
Hold up. Hang on.
580
00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:01,595
I got a burpsnart coming.
581
00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:07,893
- Come on.
- You got to teach me how you do that.
582
00:28:07,977 --> 00:28:09,436
- A burpsnart? It's simple.
- Yeah.
583
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,146
You just start with a burp,
584
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:13,023
then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,
585
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:14,316
and that triggers a fart, always.
586
00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:16,652
What's up with this school bus?
587
00:28:16,736 --> 00:28:19,655
Okay. I stole it.
588
00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:21,949
What? Put your hands in the air.
589
00:28:23,868 --> 00:28:27,371
And wave them like you just don't care
Say "ho"
590
00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:29,456
Say "ho"
591
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,168
I heard you're having a party tonight, Lenny.
592
00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:35,337
What? I'm not having a party.
593
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,463
Where did you hear that?
594
00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:39,091
He's a cop. He hears everything.
595
00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:40,175
Oh, God.
596
00:28:40,260 --> 00:28:41,969
Look, it's Magnum P.U.
597
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:44,096
Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe
598
00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:47,057
you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.
599
00:28:47,142 --> 00:28:49,727
The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile
600
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:52,646
and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
601
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,398
This side of the law is way better.
602
00:28:54,482 --> 00:28:56,984
To serve and protect. Got to love it.
603
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:59,319
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.
604
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:02,573
I didn't assault anybody.
I just choked out your brother.
605
00:29:02,657 --> 00:29:05,784
Yeah, he deserves it. He's crazy.
606
00:29:05,869 --> 00:29:08,662
We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.
607
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,831
Recital?
608
00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:13,167
- At McDonough Elementary?
- Yes.
609
00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:15,335
- Can I come?
- Why?
610
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:17,588
Trust me. Everybody's got to go.
611
00:29:17,672 --> 00:29:19,381
We got five minutes.
We're never gonna make it there.
612
00:29:19,466 --> 00:29:20,591
You'll get there on time,
613
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:23,969
'cause we're gonna give you
a four-alarm presidential police escort.
614
00:29:24,053 --> 00:29:25,262
Isn't that against the law?
615
00:29:25,346 --> 00:29:27,055
I am the law!
616
00:29:28,475 --> 00:29:30,517
What's happening?
617
00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:47,659
Oh, my God! What just happened?
618
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:58,295
Welcome, parents,
to final performance of school year,
619
00:29:58,379 --> 00:29:59,379
our June-a-licious
620
00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:01,757
Dance Spectacular!
621
00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:08,096
Now, for this year,
622
00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:09,932
we go throwing a few
623
00:30:10,016 --> 00:30:11,433
hip-hop moves in there.
624
00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:13,519
Like this.
625
00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:22,486
Is fun to dance.
626
00:30:22,570 --> 00:30:25,030
Let the show begin.
627
00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:33,121
So nice of you
to invite your friends and the bus driver
628
00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:36,124
and the police force
to our daughter's dance recital.
629
00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:40,587
Yeah, huge ballet fans, all of them.
630
00:31:03,486 --> 00:31:05,028
She's so cute.
631
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:06,613
- So cute.
- She's adorable, isn't she?
632
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:07,948
She is adorable.
633
00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:09,616
- Fantastic stuff.
- Unbelievable.
634
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:11,285
- Look at her go.
- I am.
635
00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:13,287
I'm looking at her.
636
00:31:24,507 --> 00:31:28,510
I want to arrest her for disturbing the peace.
637
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,596
In my pants.
638
00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:42,065
I'm having a wonderful time.
639
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:48,655
She's got a solo?
640
00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:54,578
What?
641
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:08,133
It's fine. I just wish that you
would give me more than eight hours notice
642
00:32:08,217 --> 00:32:10,302
before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.
643
00:32:10,386 --> 00:32:11,762
It's not a party. Get out of here.
644
00:32:11,846 --> 00:32:13,263
- It's a couple people coming by.
- Come on.
645
00:32:13,348 --> 00:32:14,723
How'd you like it?
646
00:32:14,807 --> 00:32:16,516
- You were great, honey.
- Hey!
647
00:32:16,601 --> 00:32:18,518
Where did you learn to dance like that?
648
00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:20,520
She moves like "Yagger," no?
649
00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:22,356
Yes, she does, she moves like...
650
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,899
Mick Yagger? Is that what you were saying?
651
00:32:23,983 --> 00:32:26,234
Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?
652
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,236
Yes.
653
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:29,905
Cavanaugh.
654
00:32:29,989 --> 00:32:32,324
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
655
00:32:32,408 --> 00:32:35,619
Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
656
00:32:35,703 --> 00:32:37,537
He was my old steroid that I grew up with.
657
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:38,622
This is my...
658
00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:40,749
Wife, Roxanne.
659
00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:42,459
Why are your hands shaking, Daddy?
660
00:32:42,543 --> 00:32:43,752
My hands are shaking?
661
00:32:43,836 --> 00:32:45,462
Probably because I
662
00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:47,798
had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.
663
00:32:47,882 --> 00:32:50,425
I heard you been running around
saying you could take me in a fight.
664
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:52,678
You... I wouldn't say that.
665
00:32:52,762 --> 00:32:54,554
Yeah, you did, this morning in Kmart.
666
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,306
Kmart? Was I there?
667
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:58,350
- I don't think I was there.
- You know,
668
00:32:58,434 --> 00:32:59,810
all I can remember about this guy
669
00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:01,728
is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,
670
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,730
and him not doing a single thing about it.
671
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:07,150
Yeah, we had a lot of
good times like that growing up.
672
00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:10,070
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?
673
00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:12,197
You don't stop talking, do you?
674
00:33:12,281 --> 00:33:14,116
Honey, we should be getting going.
675
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,325
Sure, baby.
676
00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:17,494
I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass
677
00:33:17,578 --> 00:33:18,954
or I'm gonna have to set you straight.
678
00:33:19,038 --> 00:33:20,288
Sure, sure, sure.
679
00:33:20,373 --> 00:33:22,124
I'll see you around.
680
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:25,002
Becky, you be having great summer.
681
00:33:26,587 --> 00:33:28,463
I was one inch away
682
00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:30,841
from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.
683
00:33:30,925 --> 00:33:31,925
No, you weren't.
684
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,552
This is grown-up talk,
685
00:33:33,636 --> 00:33:35,095
so butt out!
686
00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:39,182
That's insane! What did you say to him?
687
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:42,144
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh,
you speak to me like that again
688
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:45,188
"in front of my wife and kid,
I will brush your teeth with a brick. "
689
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,399
No, you didn't. You just yelled at me.
690
00:33:47,483 --> 00:33:49,401
- I don't yell at you!
- Calm down.
691
00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:50,694
No, I'm just saying.
692
00:33:50,778 --> 00:33:52,112
You guys were in the bathroom.
693
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,281
Look who's here, everybody.
694
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:57,242
20 VOSS waters, right?
695
00:33:57,326 --> 00:33:59,202
- That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
- I don't know.
696
00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:02,581
We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?
697
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:06,126
As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.
698
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:08,712
I know. I heard you brown-nosed Mr. Pappas
699
00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:11,131
and now Showbiz Junior's got a job.
700
00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:13,717
I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?
701
00:34:13,801 --> 00:34:15,635
It's a great first job for a kid.
702
00:34:17,096 --> 00:34:19,347
Or lifetime job.
703
00:34:19,515 --> 00:34:21,224
Okay, what are we having?
704
00:34:21,309 --> 00:34:22,476
Becky, what do you want, hon?
705
00:34:22,643 --> 00:34:25,020
Can I have the soft chocolate cup, please?
706
00:34:25,104 --> 00:34:27,856
Here's a word you probably never heard, no.
707
00:34:27,940 --> 00:34:29,274
The machine's busted, princess.
708
00:34:29,609 --> 00:34:32,611
Bummer, it's broken? Like all your dreams?
709
00:34:33,654 --> 00:34:35,655
You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.
710
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:38,075
What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?
711
00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:40,368
I went to DeVry for a year.
712
00:34:40,453 --> 00:34:42,704
- That's right.
- I can fix anything with a plug.
713
00:34:42,789 --> 00:34:43,914
Including your hair?
714
00:34:43,998 --> 00:34:46,416
That's not true.
I don't even know how that got started.
715
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:48,085
That's, like, people are
saying that around town.
716
00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:49,294
I'll walk you through it.
717
00:34:49,378 --> 00:34:51,588
You just walk up,
climb up the machine, lean over the back.
718
00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:53,298
Can't believe I'm listening to this idiot.
719
00:34:53,382 --> 00:34:54,382
Listen to the man.
720
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:55,592
You're gonna see
721
00:34:55,676 --> 00:34:56,718
two pipes coming into the top.
722
00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,428
- Yes!
- In between them,
723
00:34:58,513 --> 00:34:59,930
there's gonna be a silver button.
724
00:35:00,014 --> 00:35:01,014
Hit it a little bit.
725
00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:02,099
Push hard.
726
00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:04,017
No. Hit it with your fist.
727
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:05,769
Yeah, just push the button.
728
00:35:05,853 --> 00:35:07,437
- I got it.
- There we go!
729
00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:09,022
I think we're getting somewhere.
730
00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:10,315
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
731
00:35:11,192 --> 00:35:12,275
Force it. That's it.
732
00:35:15,321 --> 00:35:17,614
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?
733
00:35:17,698 --> 00:35:18,657
What'd she say?
734
00:35:18,741 --> 00:35:20,951
- Nothing! Nothing!
- Go! Just go!
735
00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:24,955
Go, Dickie!
736
00:35:25,039 --> 00:35:27,958
That's where ice cream comes from?
737
00:35:28,042 --> 00:35:34,381
And so we've reached the end
of another school year.
738
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,801
Froot Loop?
739
00:35:37,885 --> 00:35:38,885
Ten months
740
00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:41,930
of learning, growth
741
00:35:42,014 --> 00:35:43,723
and, yes, hopefully,
742
00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:45,976
a little bit of fun.
743
00:35:46,060 --> 00:35:50,397
But the journey we began
together, in September,
744
00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:52,983
does not end today.
745
00:35:53,067 --> 00:35:56,027
For education is a process
746
00:35:56,112 --> 00:36:00,615
that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...
747
00:36:02,243 --> 00:36:05,036
Please let me finish. Return to your seats.
748
00:36:07,248 --> 00:36:08,331
Damn you!
749
00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:09,875
Every year, you do this to me!
750
00:36:09,959 --> 00:36:13,587
And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!
751
00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:15,380
How you doing, sophomore?
752
00:36:15,464 --> 00:36:16,882
Not bad, sophomore.
753
00:36:16,966 --> 00:36:17,966
Come here!
754
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:27,517
Hey, you're not a statue.
755
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:29,352
You're an ass-tue.
756
00:36:30,104 --> 00:36:31,855
Doesn't even make any sense.
757
00:36:31,939 --> 00:36:33,148
Shut up!
758
00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:37,194
What? What? What?
759
00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:40,030
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
760
00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:45,660
What's up, man?
761
00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:46,828
Your dad picking you up?
762
00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,539
I don't know.
763
00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:51,875
I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,
764
00:36:51,959 --> 00:36:53,710
so it's on me.
765
00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:56,338
Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.
766
00:36:56,422 --> 00:36:58,381
Nah, how about we do something fun?
767
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:02,344
How about we do something
we're not supposed to?
768
00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:05,764
"Keep out. "
769
00:37:05,848 --> 00:37:08,308
That just makes me want to not keep out.
770
00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:11,561
Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.
771
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:15,690
They claim to be all squeaky clean,
but I think they were nuts.
772
00:37:27,495 --> 00:37:28,912
College kids.
773
00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:30,664
We better go.
774
00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:33,416
No go.
775
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:34,834
Stay.
776
00:37:45,179 --> 00:37:47,097
He's nuts.
777
00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:48,265
Let's go.
778
00:37:48,349 --> 00:37:49,432
Hey!
779
00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:50,976
Where are you guys going?
780
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:53,895
Join the party.
781
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:56,356
Here. One and two.
782
00:37:58,067 --> 00:37:59,985
Are you guys freshmen?
783
00:38:00,069 --> 00:38:01,778
No. We're seniors.
784
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:04,447
We just became seniors, like, 20 minutes ago.
785
00:38:04,532 --> 00:38:06,658
Not high school seniors, college seniors.
786
00:38:06,742 --> 00:38:08,326
Wait a minute!
787
00:38:08,411 --> 00:38:10,120
I remember you guys.
788
00:38:10,204 --> 00:38:11,955
You're Scully.
789
00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:13,999
You're Boomer.
790
00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:16,251
Come here.
791
00:38:16,335 --> 00:38:17,752
I love you guys so much.
792
00:38:17,837 --> 00:38:20,338
- I love you, too.
- Girl, I love you more.
793
00:38:20,423 --> 00:38:21,965
I'm gonna go.
794
00:38:22,049 --> 00:38:24,050
Body shots!
795
00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,094
No go.
796
00:38:26,178 --> 00:38:27,137
Stay.
797
00:38:27,221 --> 00:38:29,639
Okay, okay.
But what about these beers, man?
798
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:32,976
If we don't drink them, they'll be onto us,
and I'm not sure I'm ready for beer yet.
799
00:38:33,060 --> 00:38:35,979
Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,
800
00:38:36,063 --> 00:38:37,230
then act like we're drunk.
801
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,732
Okay. Good idea.
802
00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:40,483
All right, let's go.
803
00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:47,824
Summertime.
804
00:38:47,908 --> 00:38:50,827
You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.
805
00:38:50,911 --> 00:38:51,870
- Really?
- Come on!
806
00:38:51,954 --> 00:38:52,996
Come on.
807
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,748
It's a lifelong shame.
808
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:57,334
You're finally doing Suicide 35. It's a big day.
809
00:38:57,418 --> 00:38:58,501
What are you scared of, man?
810
00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:01,504
You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
811
00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:03,923
I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.
812
00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:05,091
But I'll do it right now.
813
00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:06,176
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
814
00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:08,303
Do it. Do it.
815
00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,723
But the thing is this, I just...
816
00:39:11,807 --> 00:39:13,350
I ate about 45 minutes ago.
817
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:14,684
What did you eat?
818
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,019
I had chicken chow mein.
819
00:39:16,103 --> 00:39:17,937
Chicken chow mein? When did...
820
00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:19,439
We were with you the whole time!
821
00:39:19,523 --> 00:39:21,274
Yeah. You didn't see it? They had it at Kmart.
822
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,692
- They have chicken chow...
- Get out of here.
823
00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:24,027
- It's good there. Yeah.
- It's very good.
824
00:39:24,111 --> 00:39:25,403
What do I hear right now?
825
00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:27,864
Look at this.
826
00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:31,785
Beers on ice. Hot ladies everywhere.
827
00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,995
This is how we used to do it.
828
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,748
- This is how I still do it, buddy.
- He does still do it that way.
829
00:39:36,832 --> 00:39:38,166
Well, you should stop.
830
00:39:39,293 --> 00:39:41,378
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property.
831
00:39:42,463 --> 00:39:43,963
So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies
832
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:46,049
and get back to your trailer homes.
833
00:39:46,133 --> 00:39:48,385
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
834
00:39:48,469 --> 00:39:50,011
I think it's...
835
00:39:50,096 --> 00:39:51,971
I think we've been around
a little longer than you.
836
00:39:52,056 --> 00:39:53,640
Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,
837
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:55,475
so you can calm down a little bit.
838
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,268
I'm sure it was the bomb!
839
00:39:57,436 --> 00:40:00,438
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.
840
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:02,565
But it's the 21 st century now.
841
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,567
And Thicky-Thick and the Flabby Bunch
842
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:06,611
should never take their shirts off again.
843
00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:08,738
- That hurts.
- Okay, I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
844
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,865
Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.
845
00:40:10,950 --> 00:40:13,576
Boom! That just happened.
846
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:16,454
I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids
847
00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:18,039
since Eminem played Duke.
848
00:40:18,124 --> 00:40:19,541
There it goes. And then...
849
00:40:19,625 --> 00:40:20,792
Boom!
850
00:40:20,876 --> 00:40:22,419
That just happened. How was that?
851
00:40:22,503 --> 00:40:25,755
At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.
852
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,888
- Long handjob.
- That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
853
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:38,643
I think it's over.
854
00:40:38,727 --> 00:40:40,270
- Hey, hey, hey!
- What, what, what?
855
00:40:40,354 --> 00:40:41,563
What?
856
00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:44,315
And a little extra right there.
857
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,444
Hey, fellows, that was a good handshake.
We got a good one, too. It goes like this.
858
00:40:47,528 --> 00:40:49,112
- Okay, here we go.
- How you doing, sir?
859
00:40:49,196 --> 00:40:50,989
Nice to see you. Very good, sir.
860
00:40:51,073 --> 00:40:52,532
- Beautiful day.
- Yeah, at least we're not stuck
861
00:40:52,616 --> 00:40:56,161
in some crap town like this,
hanging up drywall for the rest of our lives.
862
00:40:56,245 --> 00:40:57,829
Bay-oom!
863
00:40:57,913 --> 00:40:59,247
Hanging drywall? First of all,
864
00:40:59,331 --> 00:41:00,707
I'll have you know that I own pretty much
865
00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:02,792
the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?
866
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:04,711
This guy works for the cable company.
867
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:06,004
Free cable for life.
868
00:41:06,088 --> 00:41:07,213
What?
869
00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:08,673
Over here, you know Higgins?
870
00:41:08,757 --> 00:41:11,176
That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.
871
00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:13,595
So he was highballing you with the drywall.
872
00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:16,848
Boom!
873
00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:20,018
This just got real.
874
00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:22,395
- Real stupid? What happened?
- Something's real.
875
00:41:30,112 --> 00:41:32,322
- Yeah...
- Dougie, Dougie...
876
00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:34,824
Are you guys as wasted as us?
877
00:41:34,909 --> 00:41:37,785
Hells, yeah! All the time!
878
00:41:39,538 --> 00:41:43,291
Yo, we're gonna let you guys
continue your Klan meeting in a minute.
879
00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:45,835
He's just gonna jump off of here,
and then we'll leave.
880
00:41:47,922 --> 00:41:49,339
I can't permit that.
881
00:41:49,423 --> 00:41:51,132
I can't permit it!
882
00:41:51,217 --> 00:41:53,092
Can't permit it.
883
00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:56,095
You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.
884
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:58,515
Look at my hands, huh?
885
00:41:58,599 --> 00:41:59,974
They're shaking, I'm so mad.
886
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:01,643
Yeah, look, my brother's shaking.
887
00:42:05,439 --> 00:42:07,273
- That was a cool move.
- Now, listen to me.
888
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,192
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
889
00:42:09,276 --> 00:42:11,653
But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?
890
00:42:11,737 --> 00:42:12,862
I got to stretch. It's overlooked.
891
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:14,489
No, I understand.
892
00:42:14,573 --> 00:42:16,199
I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.
893
00:42:16,283 --> 00:42:20,119
Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips
behind you for some unknown reason.
894
00:42:21,789 --> 00:42:24,958
We got kids, we can't afford to do this.
895
00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:26,709
Buddy, dude,
you don't have to do that last flip.
896
00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:28,920
Don't, like, get hurt.
897
00:42:29,004 --> 00:42:30,213
We'll come back another time.
898
00:42:30,297 --> 00:42:31,548
You will come back never!
899
00:42:31,632 --> 00:42:33,716
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
900
00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:36,094
Dude, why are you acting so crazy?
901
00:42:36,178 --> 00:42:39,055
Did Betty White just call you crazy?
902
00:42:39,139 --> 00:42:40,265
- Did he just call you Betty White?
- Betty White?
903
00:42:40,349 --> 00:42:41,349
That's pretty funny.
904
00:42:41,433 --> 00:42:42,809
We've got a situation!
905
00:42:54,154 --> 00:42:55,572
You know what? Hey, guys? Guys?
906
00:42:55,656 --> 00:42:57,198
- Hey, what's up, guys?
- Let's get out of here.
907
00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:58,449
Listen, it's nice to meet everybody.
908
00:42:58,534 --> 00:43:00,743
- We're gonna take off, but let's do this again.
- Take care, guys.
909
00:43:00,828 --> 00:43:02,161
- Enjoy yourself.
- Not that way.
910
00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:04,539
Is there an elevator?
911
00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:07,959
That way.
912
00:43:08,627 --> 00:43:12,505
Come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?
913
00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:15,008
Naked.
914
00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:17,969
Asshole.
915
00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:27,186
You guys are losers.
916
00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:38,197
Don't worry, it gets bigger.
917
00:43:43,203 --> 00:43:45,163
That poor old lady!
918
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:48,916
I'm paralyzed!
919
00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:51,294
I'm in so much pain!
920
00:43:51,378 --> 00:43:53,254
Mama!
921
00:43:56,216 --> 00:43:58,301
No!
922
00:44:04,350 --> 00:44:06,225
I was inside you!
923
00:44:12,650 --> 00:44:16,569
I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy anymore!
924
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:18,738
Damn you, Obama!
925
00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:21,866
What the hell just happened?
926
00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:24,577
I saw my dad's dick.
927
00:44:41,762 --> 00:44:45,723
Well, the good news is
Lamonsoff finally did the jump for real.
928
00:44:45,808 --> 00:44:48,017
And the bad news is he landed on my face.
929
00:44:48,102 --> 00:44:50,144
What are you, made of rocks, dude?
930
00:44:50,229 --> 00:44:52,689
Check this out, feel this. I'm not kidding you.
931
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,023
Right up here.
932
00:44:54,108 --> 00:44:55,066
I think even higher.
933
00:44:55,150 --> 00:44:56,150
- Feel that.
- And?
934
00:44:56,235 --> 00:44:57,402
Put your hand right there.
935
00:44:57,486 --> 00:44:59,195
Feel the other one. Those are my balls.
936
00:44:59,279 --> 00:45:01,114
I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.
937
00:45:01,198 --> 00:45:02,365
You're getting me turned on.
938
00:45:02,449 --> 00:45:04,534
Are you kidding me?
939
00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:05,618
What?
940
00:45:05,703 --> 00:45:07,036
They slashed our tires!
941
00:45:07,121 --> 00:45:08,538
These kids won't stop abusing us!
942
00:45:08,622 --> 00:45:09,747
Damn you!
943
00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:12,959
This wasn't college kids.
944
00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:15,628
It was my son, Satan.
945
00:45:16,004 --> 00:45:18,131
And why is this kid so angry?
946
00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:21,175
His mom hiccupped a lot, but she was happy!
And hot.
947
00:45:21,385 --> 00:45:23,386
If she's so hot,
948
00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:26,139
why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?
949
00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,766
Beefcakes! Come on, baby!
950
00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:34,814
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
951
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,316
It's not funny, dude!
She's gonna kick the crap out of me later!
952
00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:38,526
Wow.
953
00:45:38,610 --> 00:45:40,069
Wow.
954
00:45:40,154 --> 00:45:42,488
- A little five-hour Energy, huh?
- Yeah.
955
00:45:44,324 --> 00:45:45,867
500-hour Energy?
956
00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:47,410
I drink it for the taste, okay?
957
00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:50,538
Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?
958
00:45:54,376 --> 00:45:55,376
No!
959
00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:56,669
A bonus!
960
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:58,504
Come on, just cram yourself in there.
961
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:01,591
My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.
962
00:46:01,675 --> 00:46:03,926
Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.
963
00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:06,262
- For what?
- Just get in the tire.
964
00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:08,264
- No way! In there?
- Five yards we'll roll you.
965
00:46:08,348 --> 00:46:10,725
We've done it.
I would do it if I could get in there.
966
00:46:10,809 --> 00:46:12,435
This is peer pressure, you're bullying.
967
00:46:12,519 --> 00:46:15,062
And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.
968
00:46:15,147 --> 00:46:17,231
Don't let him do it. He's jacked up on juice.
969
00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:19,358
And a-one, and a-two...
970
00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:21,527
- Mommy's got you.
- ... and a-three!
971
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:24,280
- Okay, five feet. Grab me.
- Y'ello.
972
00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:25,948
- Lenny!
- Hey, Keithie.
973
00:46:26,033 --> 00:46:28,242
Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.
974
00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:29,952
Why am I still rolling?
975
00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:31,621
Lenny!
976
00:46:31,705 --> 00:46:33,372
Help!
977
00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:35,082
Guys, get me!
978
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:37,460
- Hang in there!
- I'm going downhill!
979
00:46:37,544 --> 00:46:38,628
Lenny! No! No!
980
00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:42,965
When will it end?
981
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:50,264
Yeah. Summer is here, man!
982
00:46:56,021 --> 00:46:59,190
Help! Stop! No!
983
00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:02,151
Tire on the loose!
984
00:47:02,236 --> 00:47:03,736
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
985
00:47:06,740 --> 00:47:07,824
Someone!
986
00:47:07,908 --> 00:47:09,575
Higgins is in the tire!
987
00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:10,993
Of course.
988
00:47:11,078 --> 00:47:12,662
- Help!
- Get there!
989
00:47:12,746 --> 00:47:14,247
Help!
990
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:16,415
- Liar!
- No, no, baby!
991
00:47:17,543 --> 00:47:20,837
No! No! Someone!
992
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:33,140
Show's over, tire.
993
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,321
I'm next.
994
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:49,073
- I got next!
- No, I'm next!
995
00:47:51,910 --> 00:47:53,160
It's my tire! My turn!
996
00:47:53,245 --> 00:47:54,996
Hey!
997
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,789
What happened?
998
00:47:57,249 --> 00:47:58,499
I got a phone call.
999
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,503
Okay. I forgive you.
1000
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,797
Was it long-distance or something?
1001
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:06,841
Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,
1002
00:48:06,925 --> 00:48:09,135
but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint
1003
00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,178
looking like he was up to no good.
1004
00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:13,890
You lied about the soup.
1005
00:48:13,974 --> 00:48:16,392
You lied about the soup!
1006
00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:35,369
We are gonna find those fartheads,
1007
00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:38,122
and we are gonna kill them.
1008
00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,916
Kill!
1009
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,628
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1010
00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:50,551
No, guys! Not each other!
1011
00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:53,429
We're not killing each other!
1012
00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:56,557
K- E-I-T
1013
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:59,435
H- I-E.
1014
00:48:59,519 --> 00:49:01,687
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
1015
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:05,107
It's a practice, Donna.
You don't have to go full speed.
1016
00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:06,442
Sorry, Mr. Feder.
1017
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:07,652
It's fine!
1018
00:49:07,736 --> 00:49:10,196
Hey, look at these giant mooses out there.
1019
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:15,785
You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.
1020
00:49:15,869 --> 00:49:19,455
Plus, the kicker, honestly, is like,
one of the most important guys on the team
1021
00:49:19,539 --> 00:49:22,458
and you don't have to worry about getting
your head bashed in every play.
1022
00:49:22,542 --> 00:49:24,460
I get it, Dad. I'm a wimp.
1023
00:49:24,544 --> 00:49:25,628
You're not a wimp.
1024
00:49:25,712 --> 00:49:26,921
It's just common sense.
1025
00:49:27,005 --> 00:49:28,839
Avoid big idiots trying to hurt you.
1026
00:49:29,424 --> 00:49:32,301
I was trying to avoid a big idiot
trying to hurt me on the bus this morning,
1027
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:33,719
but he wouldn't leave me alone.
1028
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:35,721
Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,
1029
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:38,307
and you just...
You can't back down in those situations.
1030
00:49:38,392 --> 00:49:40,351
I'm telling you, I've backed down a few times,
1031
00:49:40,435 --> 00:49:41,560
it's not a good feeling.
1032
00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:43,521
All right, look, let's just
kick a few field goals.
1033
00:49:43,605 --> 00:49:45,272
It's like soccer, which you're great at.
1034
00:49:45,357 --> 00:49:48,192
All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.
1035
00:49:51,405 --> 00:49:52,363
What?
1036
00:49:52,447 --> 00:49:53,656
Touchdown! Yeah!
1037
00:49:53,740 --> 00:49:55,366
Yeah!
1038
00:49:55,450 --> 00:49:57,535
That's ridiculous! Your first try?
1039
00:49:57,619 --> 00:49:59,578
All right, we're backing up, boy.
1040
00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:02,248
That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!
1041
00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:04,583
That was just, like, awesome!
1042
00:50:04,751 --> 00:50:06,544
Okay, drive through the ball.
1043
00:50:06,628 --> 00:50:08,212
Drive through the ball.
1044
00:50:10,298 --> 00:50:11,298
It's up!
1045
00:50:11,758 --> 00:50:14,343
Yeah! Go, Keithie!
1046
00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:17,388
Yes! What did you eat this morning?
1047
00:50:17,472 --> 00:50:21,100
All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.
1048
00:50:21,184 --> 00:50:22,643
From the 30!
1049
00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:24,395
Who the hell is this kid?
1050
00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:31,861
Oh, my God!
1051
00:50:31,945 --> 00:50:33,529
Stop! Keithie time!
1052
00:50:35,782 --> 00:50:39,035
I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.
1053
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,202
Really?
1054
00:50:40,287 --> 00:50:42,830
Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.
1055
00:50:42,914 --> 00:50:44,999
Keithie!
1056
00:50:46,209 --> 00:50:49,170
All right, let's see how you do
in a real game situation, though.
1057
00:50:49,254 --> 00:50:51,672
Okay? Let's pretend I'm a linebacker,
1058
00:50:51,757 --> 00:50:53,382
and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.
1059
00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:54,467
Okay.
1060
00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:55,885
Set!
1061
00:50:57,095 --> 00:50:59,013
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
1062
00:50:59,097 --> 00:51:00,097
Give me that football!
1063
00:51:02,642 --> 00:51:04,310
My leg!
1064
00:51:04,394 --> 00:51:05,644
Keithie!
1065
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:07,730
Don't tell your mother!
1066
00:51:07,814 --> 00:51:11,150
All right, that kid's dead. Back to work.
1067
00:51:11,985 --> 00:51:14,445
Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?
1068
00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:15,613
Yeah.
1069
00:51:15,697 --> 00:51:17,573
- Parallel park?
- Yeah, yeah.
1070
00:51:17,657 --> 00:51:19,658
Hey, don't "yeah, yeah" me, dumb-ass.
1071
00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:21,243
You're precious cargo.
1072
00:51:21,328 --> 00:51:23,162
Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,
1073
00:51:23,288 --> 00:51:24,246
I'm gonna have to kill you.
1074
00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:25,998
Look, Dad, I'm ready for this, all right?
1075
00:51:27,959 --> 00:51:29,418
You're late.
1076
00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:31,921
Hello, McKenzie.
1077
00:51:32,005 --> 00:51:33,672
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
1078
00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:37,927
Just two years of this.
1079
00:51:38,011 --> 00:51:41,097
And I still only have 40% feeling in my body.
1080
00:51:41,181 --> 00:51:43,099
Otherwise, I'm fine.
1081
00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:44,934
No, Rihanna's fine.
1082
00:51:45,018 --> 00:51:46,519
You just teach driver's ed.
1083
00:51:47,687 --> 00:51:49,105
Get her done, son!
1084
00:51:49,189 --> 00:51:51,398
And remember everything we talked about!
1085
00:51:51,483 --> 00:51:52,733
Defensive driving!
1086
00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:53,943
Stop at all yellows!
1087
00:51:54,027 --> 00:51:55,111
Obey the laws!
1088
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:58,656
- You moron!
- Look out!
1089
00:51:58,740 --> 00:52:01,659
Be safe! Don't do what I just did!
1090
00:52:02,410 --> 00:52:04,620
Hey, officers, you guys want to stick around
1091
00:52:04,704 --> 00:52:06,413
and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?
1092
00:52:06,498 --> 00:52:08,749
You're afraid of us leaving you
alone with your son, aren't you?
1093
00:52:08,834 --> 00:52:10,876
My son... Are you kidding me? I don't care...
1094
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:13,087
- Boo!
- He's got a knife!
1095
00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:16,841
That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?
1096
00:52:16,925 --> 00:52:18,801
Just 35 feet.
1097
00:52:18,885 --> 00:52:21,345
Who do you think you are, Tarzan?
1098
00:52:21,429 --> 00:52:23,305
- It's no big deal.
- Honey?
1099
00:52:23,390 --> 00:52:25,141
Hi, Sally.
1100
00:52:25,225 --> 00:52:27,017
Hi, honey. I... No, I just came to see
1101
00:52:27,102 --> 00:52:28,185
if Mommy was alive.
1102
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:29,812
And looking now,
1103
00:52:29,896 --> 00:52:31,147
she's breathing, she's good.
1104
00:52:31,231 --> 00:52:32,857
Hi. What are you doing here?
1105
00:52:32,941 --> 00:52:34,984
I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.
1106
00:52:35,068 --> 00:52:36,318
- That's good.
- You said you couldn't
1107
00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:37,862
get coffee with me because you had
1108
00:52:37,946 --> 00:52:40,823
a 3:30 appointment with a Mr. Renaldo.
1109
00:52:40,907 --> 00:52:42,158
Hello, ladies!
1110
00:52:42,242 --> 00:52:43,826
You!
1111
00:52:43,910 --> 00:52:44,910
Can't be!
1112
00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:47,246
We killed you. Last week.
1113
00:52:47,330 --> 00:52:50,749
You actually think two amateurish nitwits
1114
00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:54,086
could kill The Great Renaldo?
1115
00:52:54,421 --> 00:52:55,754
I told you.
1116
00:52:55,839 --> 00:52:58,924
You did. You called it.
1117
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:06,015
So the leg's not really broken, huh?
1118
00:53:06,308 --> 00:53:08,559
No, it is broken, right here.
1119
00:53:08,643 --> 00:53:11,312
Just a hairline fracture, though.
1120
00:53:11,396 --> 00:53:13,147
No, it's a clean break.
1121
00:53:13,231 --> 00:53:14,690
Slight, though.
1122
00:53:14,774 --> 00:53:17,318
Slight? No. It's broken.
1123
00:53:17,402 --> 00:53:20,070
Broken-broken orjust broken?
1124
00:53:20,155 --> 00:53:22,698
It's a broken leg.
1125
00:53:22,782 --> 00:53:26,410
What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.
1126
00:53:26,494 --> 00:53:27,578
Right.
1127
00:53:27,662 --> 00:53:32,291
Is there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?
1128
00:53:34,294 --> 00:53:36,712
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
1129
00:53:36,796 --> 00:53:38,339
So you're saying my wife is crazy?
1130
00:53:38,423 --> 00:53:40,007
No, no. I was joking.
1131
00:53:40,091 --> 00:53:41,884
Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.
1132
00:53:41,968 --> 00:53:43,594
Look, your son
1133
00:53:43,678 --> 00:53:46,931
is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.
1134
00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:50,893
If you don't mind, I haven't slept in 68 hours.
1135
00:53:50,977 --> 00:53:53,229
So you're a little loopy from lack of sleep,
1136
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:54,897
and that really isn't my son's bone.
1137
00:53:54,981 --> 00:53:56,899
That's a piece of celery you snapped.
1138
00:53:56,983 --> 00:53:57,942
- Lenny!
- Yes?
1139
00:53:58,026 --> 00:53:59,568
The leg is broken!
1140
00:54:03,198 --> 00:54:04,907
You can't undo this,
1141
00:54:04,991 --> 00:54:08,244
and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.
1142
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:12,915
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?
1143
00:54:12,999 --> 00:54:14,083
There is.
1144
00:54:14,167 --> 00:54:15,834
It's called Jack Daniel's.
1145
00:54:16,878 --> 00:54:18,420
Another one of yourjokes, huh?
1146
00:54:18,505 --> 00:54:20,005
I wish.
1147
00:54:22,634 --> 00:54:24,426
Okay, the light is red now,
so just remain stopped.
1148
00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:30,057
Scully, is that you?
1149
00:54:31,893 --> 00:54:33,143
Scully!
1150
00:54:34,854 --> 00:54:36,605
Hey, what's up, fellas?
1151
00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:39,108
Are you taking your driver's test drunk?
1152
00:54:39,192 --> 00:54:41,277
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
1153
00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:42,987
- You're a madman!
- Psychopath, man!
1154
00:54:43,071 --> 00:54:44,071
Hey, Scully, Scully.
1155
00:54:44,155 --> 00:54:46,407
Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?
1156
00:54:46,491 --> 00:54:49,493
No, I can't say I did. Why?
1157
00:54:49,577 --> 00:54:51,620
They disrespected our frat house!
1158
00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:53,247
Man, they disrespected the crap out of it!
1159
00:54:53,331 --> 00:54:54,873
No, can't have that.
1160
00:54:57,168 --> 00:54:58,419
Brewski time, dude!
1161
00:54:58,503 --> 00:54:59,962
It's not for you, Scully.
1162
00:55:00,046 --> 00:55:01,797
It's for that freak in the hat next to you.
1163
00:55:01,881 --> 00:55:03,007
Looks like he needs it.
1164
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:04,091
- Boom!
- Yeah!
1165
00:55:04,175 --> 00:55:05,467
That just happened!
1166
00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:07,678
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1167
00:55:09,806 --> 00:55:13,475
Taking your driver's test while intoxicated?
1168
00:55:15,061 --> 00:55:17,438
Minus five points.
1169
00:55:26,031 --> 00:55:27,656
This is ridiculous!
1170
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:31,368
I've wasted an entire day
waiting for this idiot to show up.
1171
00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:34,121
Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?
1172
00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:38,000
A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.
1173
00:55:38,084 --> 00:55:41,045
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
1174
00:55:41,129 --> 00:55:42,671
Love to the children.
1175
00:55:49,095 --> 00:55:50,512
Yes. Yes.
1176
00:55:57,103 --> 00:55:59,355
Damn it, I just sat down.
1177
00:55:59,439 --> 00:56:01,523
I'll be right out there!
1178
00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:02,691
Hang on!
1179
00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:04,360
I'm coming as quick as I can.
1180
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:06,278
I got bunions, damn it!
1181
00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:15,954
No! No!
1182
00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:18,123
You burn in hell!
1183
00:56:18,249 --> 00:56:20,042
You cable-installing mother...
1184
00:56:20,126 --> 00:56:21,460
Damn it!
1185
00:56:30,553 --> 00:56:31,553
Look, man,
1186
00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:33,889
I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses
1187
00:56:33,973 --> 00:56:36,141
why they don't see their kids,
1188
00:56:36,226 --> 00:56:39,686
but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"
1189
00:56:39,771 --> 00:56:41,814
is actually a fantastic excuse.
1190
00:56:41,898 --> 00:56:43,399
So can you cut me some slack?
1191
00:56:43,483 --> 00:56:45,234
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
1192
00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:47,027
Yeah, I know that.
1193
00:56:47,112 --> 00:56:48,737
So why do you call her that?
1194
00:56:48,822 --> 00:56:51,365
No, that's just... It's stupid.
1195
00:56:51,449 --> 00:56:55,244
It's just kind of a nickname I give people that,
1196
00:56:55,328 --> 00:56:58,747
you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.
1197
00:56:58,832 --> 00:57:02,334
Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.
1198
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:04,920
And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
1199
00:57:05,004 --> 00:57:07,923
So you'd be Ugly McGee.
1200
00:57:08,007 --> 00:57:10,175
I'd be Ugly McGee. Exactly.
1201
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:11,552
Shorty McGee.
1202
00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:12,594
Shorty McGee, sure.
1203
00:57:12,679 --> 00:57:13,929
Viagra McGee.
1204
00:57:14,013 --> 00:57:15,305
Right, right. You get it, you get it.
1205
00:57:15,557 --> 00:57:17,433
Listen, man,
1206
00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:20,060
I'm willing to give this a try if you are.
1207
00:57:21,729 --> 00:57:24,440
You know what they say...
Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery.
1208
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:31,238
Maybe we go inside and search the Internet
for funny videos of squirrels waterskiing.
1209
00:57:40,707 --> 00:57:42,916
Okay, we're getting somewhere.
1210
00:57:43,418 --> 00:57:45,294
I'm sorry I lied about the appointment.
1211
00:57:45,378 --> 00:57:47,379
The lying's not the worst part.
1212
00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:49,548
You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.
1213
00:57:49,632 --> 00:57:50,966
Who does that?
1214
00:57:51,050 --> 00:57:52,551
Look, she's nice to me.
1215
00:57:52,886 --> 00:57:55,053
You know, she always takes my side,
1216
00:57:55,138 --> 00:57:58,056
worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.
1217
00:57:58,141 --> 00:58:00,184
I do all that stuff, too, Eric.
1218
00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:02,436
Okay, I don't.
1219
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,812
You're right.
1220
00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:05,481
You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,
1221
00:58:05,565 --> 00:58:08,150
and I'm always running around the kids,
1222
00:58:08,234 --> 00:58:10,277
and I guess I leave you out a lot,
1223
00:58:10,403 --> 00:58:12,654
and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,
1224
00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:15,491
'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.
1225
00:58:15,575 --> 00:58:17,868
I feel bad.
1226
00:58:17,952 --> 00:58:19,203
Don't feel bad.
1227
00:58:19,287 --> 00:58:21,705
No, I do, because today at the recital,
1228
00:58:21,789 --> 00:58:26,126
I couldn't stop looking at Becky's teacher.
1229
00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:27,961
I don't mind you looking.
1230
00:58:28,129 --> 00:58:30,130
I really don't. Everybody looks.
1231
00:58:30,423 --> 00:58:32,549
I was looking today.
1232
00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:34,510
And I'm totally fine with that.
1233
00:58:34,594 --> 00:58:37,054
As long as he was gay, dead or a cartoon.
1234
00:58:37,138 --> 00:58:38,597
- Gay.
- Okay.
1235
00:58:38,848 --> 00:58:43,393
But no matter who or what we look at,
we'll always come back to each other, right?
1236
00:58:45,438 --> 00:58:46,855
- Car wash!
- Car wash!
1237
00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:48,398
- Support our team!
- I'll prove it to you!
1238
00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:50,526
Car wash!
1239
00:58:50,610 --> 00:58:53,153
- What are you doing?
- No, no, you're gonna like this.
1240
00:58:53,738 --> 00:58:54,947
Hi, girls!
1241
00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:58,492
Come on.
1242
00:59:00,119 --> 00:59:02,204
Honey, you don't have to do this.
1243
00:59:02,288 --> 00:59:03,247
I want to.
1244
00:59:03,331 --> 00:59:05,207
Hi, girls!
1245
00:59:05,291 --> 00:59:07,209
Wash it up extra soapy!
1246
00:59:07,293 --> 00:59:09,211
You got it.
1247
00:59:09,295 --> 00:59:11,547
Wait, hang on.
There's a carjust in front of you.
1248
00:59:11,631 --> 00:59:12,631
Better do them first.
1249
00:59:12,715 --> 00:59:13,757
Yo, got a customer!
1250
00:59:13,841 --> 00:59:16,385
You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.
1251
00:59:16,469 --> 00:59:18,512
Extra soapy.
1252
00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:24,601
What is happening right now?
1253
00:59:27,647 --> 00:59:30,148
I swear, I didn't plan this.
1254
00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:38,699
No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.
1255
00:59:38,783 --> 00:59:40,993
Well, I might as well enjoy this.
1256
01:00:22,076 --> 01:00:24,286
Why is this never-ending?
1257
01:00:24,370 --> 01:00:27,331
At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.
1258
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:42,220
What are you doing? Get in there!
1259
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:43,639
Let me do it.
1260
01:00:50,563 --> 01:00:52,356
Okay, everybody.
1261
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,233
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.
1262
01:00:55,318 --> 01:00:57,027
Sorry about the leg.
1263
01:00:57,111 --> 01:00:58,570
The good news is
1264
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:00,697
the children got through
another year of school.
1265
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:01,823
Fabulously.
1266
01:01:01,908 --> 01:01:04,826
You got older, even though I told you not to.
Especially you.
1267
01:01:04,911 --> 01:01:06,662
Stay young. Don't leave me.
1268
01:01:06,746 --> 01:01:10,165
You prepared us your famous
chicken � la food poisoning,
1269
01:01:10,249 --> 01:01:11,500
which we're all excited to eat.
1270
01:01:11,584 --> 01:01:14,044
I'm just kidding.
1271
01:01:14,128 --> 01:01:16,338
But the greatest thing is,
it's my favorite part of the day
1272
01:01:16,422 --> 01:01:17,547
with my four best friends.
1273
01:01:17,632 --> 01:01:18,924
To the Feders!
1274
01:01:20,885 --> 01:01:23,595
So Bumpty asked me out for ice cream today.
1275
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,849
I "went out for ice cream" once
with your dad.
1276
01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:31,103
Nine months later, Andre popped out.
1277
01:01:32,772 --> 01:01:36,400
This is the best vanilla pudding I've ever had.
1278
01:01:36,484 --> 01:01:38,777
That's butter, son.
1279
01:01:41,197 --> 01:01:42,364
Here you go.
1280
01:01:42,448 --> 01:01:45,033
- Hey.
- Want me to come in and feed it to you
1281
01:01:45,118 --> 01:01:47,202
like I did the last time?
1282
01:01:47,286 --> 01:01:49,538
No, no. I got my kid here.
1283
01:01:49,622 --> 01:01:50,706
That wouldn't be cool.
1284
01:01:50,790 --> 01:01:53,291
You said you loved me!
1285
01:01:54,502 --> 01:01:56,294
They're not all tens, buddy.
1286
01:02:00,466 --> 01:02:02,259
Homeboy, why aren't you eating?
1287
01:02:02,343 --> 01:02:05,053
I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.
1288
01:02:05,138 --> 01:02:07,848
What was it, me naked?
1289
01:02:09,642 --> 01:02:11,226
What?
1290
01:02:11,310 --> 01:02:12,894
What's a burpsmart?
1291
01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:14,062
Burpsnorp?
1292
01:02:14,147 --> 01:02:15,647
A burpsnart!
1293
01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:18,900
Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.
1294
01:02:18,985 --> 01:02:20,026
He goes...
1295
01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:28,410
I think I just shat myself.
1296
01:02:28,494 --> 01:02:31,246
Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?
1297
01:02:31,330 --> 01:02:32,956
What?
1298
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,166
It's paint.
1299
01:02:34,250 --> 01:02:35,625
It doesn't come off.
1300
01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:38,086
I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?
1301
01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:40,756
- A theme?
- Roxanne decided the theme is...
1302
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:41,923
The '80s?
1303
01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,175
The '80s?
1304
01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:44,676
The '80s?
1305
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:46,803
That was 70 years ago.
1306
01:02:49,223 --> 01:02:50,932
I thought we could go as Hall & Oates.
1307
01:02:51,017 --> 01:02:51,975
Hall & Oates?
1308
01:02:52,059 --> 01:02:53,101
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1309
01:02:53,186 --> 01:02:54,978
What is that, like a cereal?
1310
01:02:55,062 --> 01:02:56,521
No.
1311
01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:59,608
Why don't you ask Nancy Arbuckle
to come by for the get-together?
1312
01:02:59,692 --> 01:03:02,569
Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?
1313
01:03:05,406 --> 01:03:07,741
You know what, Charlotte? I trust you,
1314
01:03:07,825 --> 01:03:09,534
and I want you to have fun tonight.
1315
01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:10,952
Really.
1316
01:03:14,123 --> 01:03:16,875
What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.
1317
01:03:19,754 --> 01:03:23,215
What...
1318
01:03:23,299 --> 01:03:28,553
Used to get 10 cases of beer for my parties,
now I get 10 cases ofjuice boxes.
1319
01:03:28,888 --> 01:03:30,388
Hey, Beckster.
1320
01:03:30,473 --> 01:03:32,140
- Hey, Stud Muffin.
- Hey.
1321
01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:35,560
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.
1322
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:36,686
Is that right?
1323
01:03:36,771 --> 01:03:39,314
You must be Roxanne's husband. I'm Kyle.
1324
01:03:39,398 --> 01:03:41,650
How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?
1325
01:03:41,734 --> 01:03:43,568
I worked her out this morning.
1326
01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:44,653
Really?
1327
01:03:44,737 --> 01:03:47,322
I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.
1328
01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:48,824
All right.
1329
01:03:48,908 --> 01:03:50,826
Hi.
1330
01:03:50,910 --> 01:03:52,035
What's up?
1331
01:03:52,119 --> 01:03:53,662
This is awkward.
1332
01:03:53,746 --> 01:03:55,831
My husband's here.
1333
01:03:55,915 --> 01:03:57,541
Why is that awkward?
1334
01:03:57,625 --> 01:03:59,334
Why?
1335
01:03:59,418 --> 01:04:01,127
Well, let me give you a hint.
1336
01:04:02,755 --> 01:04:04,798
You have brain damage?
1337
01:04:07,009 --> 01:04:09,344
I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?
1338
01:04:09,428 --> 01:04:10,762
What time is it?
1339
01:04:10,847 --> 01:04:12,848
Nothing.
1340
01:04:12,932 --> 01:04:16,768
It's just... Just time to...
1341
01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:18,520
Help me out here.
1342
01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:21,565
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
1343
01:04:21,649 --> 01:04:23,525
Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?
1344
01:04:23,609 --> 01:04:24,609
Did he pass his test?
1345
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:26,111
He squeaked by.
1346
01:04:26,195 --> 01:04:28,321
We didn't check out any soapy cheerleaders.
1347
01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:30,073
What's going on with you and my wife?
1348
01:04:30,157 --> 01:04:31,157
I'm gonna go.
1349
01:04:31,242 --> 01:04:32,576
Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.
1350
01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:34,911
I don't see any of these conversations
working out for me.
1351
01:04:34,996 --> 01:04:36,371
- Adios.
- I'll see you tonight.
1352
01:04:36,455 --> 01:04:37,414
Hey.
1353
01:04:37,498 --> 01:04:38,623
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
1354
01:04:39,542 --> 01:04:40,625
What?
1355
01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:42,752
Yeah, party tonight '80s-style, huh?
1356
01:04:42,837 --> 01:04:44,629
Rocky lll.
1357
01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:46,965
- Wiley!
- Okay.
1358
01:04:48,009 --> 01:04:49,759
Hey, babe.
1359
01:04:50,678 --> 01:04:51,970
What does Penny's note say?
1360
01:04:56,309 --> 01:04:58,059
She wrote, "Mayonnaise, zitis... "
1361
01:04:58,144 --> 01:04:59,394
The other side.
1362
01:05:02,148 --> 01:05:04,566
"Meet me by your mailbox at 11:00."
1363
01:05:04,650 --> 01:05:06,985
Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?
1364
01:05:11,991 --> 01:05:14,326
You have any idea what just happened there?
1365
01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:15,660
Not a clue.
1366
01:05:15,745 --> 01:05:18,163
I don't care who your parents are.
1367
01:05:18,247 --> 01:05:19,831
You screw up, I fire you.
1368
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,042
It's all good.
1369
01:05:22,126 --> 01:05:23,168
"It's all good"?
1370
01:05:23,252 --> 01:05:25,462
It's a family restaurant, not a rap show.
1371
01:05:25,546 --> 01:05:27,130
It's all bad?
1372
01:05:27,214 --> 01:05:29,090
That's right, it is.
1373
01:05:29,175 --> 01:05:30,508
You got a customer.
1374
01:05:31,844 --> 01:05:33,595
I'm sorry. Welcome to the Ice Cream House.
1375
01:05:33,679 --> 01:05:35,305
Hi, Greg.
1376
01:05:35,389 --> 01:05:37,182
Nancy, hi.
1377
01:05:37,266 --> 01:05:40,018
I think you crushed your cones.
1378
01:05:40,102 --> 01:05:41,269
No.
1379
01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:42,771
That was a... That was a squeeze test.
1380
01:05:42,855 --> 01:05:44,439
These cones failed.
1381
01:05:44,523 --> 01:05:46,191
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
1382
01:05:47,151 --> 01:05:48,234
You're smiling.
1383
01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:50,278
And number two.
1384
01:05:50,363 --> 01:05:52,364
You have such a nice smile.
1385
01:05:52,448 --> 01:05:54,115
Thanks.
1386
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,118
Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.
1387
01:05:57,203 --> 01:05:59,287
Tonight?
1388
01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:00,455
Sure.
1389
01:06:00,539 --> 01:06:02,624
No freaking way.
1390
01:06:04,210 --> 01:06:06,878
Your father used to do
that same three-step crap
1391
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:08,296
when we were growing up.
1392
01:06:08,381 --> 01:06:10,632
It always worked then.
1393
01:06:10,716 --> 01:06:12,509
Even on my wife.
1394
01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:18,473
I ain't no boy with a mind you can toy,
1395
01:06:18,557 --> 01:06:21,476
'cause if this is a ploy, I'll destroy lllinois.
1396
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,312
It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.
1397
01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:27,357
I been laying it down truthful since day one.
1398
01:06:30,444 --> 01:06:33,405
Well, I sing sometimes, too,
1399
01:06:33,489 --> 01:06:35,615
but only, like, in the shower.
1400
01:06:35,700 --> 01:06:37,659
I'm scared to sing in front of other people.
1401
01:06:37,743 --> 01:06:40,745
If you scared, that means you don't got it.
1402
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:44,332
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.
1403
01:06:47,878 --> 01:06:49,462
Dinosaur!
1404
01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:53,508
How long ago was the '80s?
1405
01:06:53,592 --> 01:06:56,344
That was way back in the 1900s.
1406
01:06:56,429 --> 01:06:57,637
We learned about it in school.
1407
01:06:57,722 --> 01:06:58,763
It was wack.
1408
01:06:58,848 --> 01:07:01,850
The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.
1409
01:07:01,934 --> 01:07:03,560
You had to watch commercials.
1410
01:07:03,644 --> 01:07:04,728
No way.
1411
01:07:04,812 --> 01:07:06,104
Isn't that right, Bowser?
1412
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:09,941
How we doing?
1413
01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:12,360
Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?
1414
01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:13,778
I am wearing a costume.
1415
01:07:13,863 --> 01:07:16,614
Bruce Springsteen, Born in the U.S.A.
1416
01:07:17,616 --> 01:07:19,325
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
1417
01:07:19,410 --> 01:07:21,369
I guess some guy with a giant butt.
1418
01:07:22,663 --> 01:07:24,539
You don't know who the Boss is?
1419
01:07:24,623 --> 01:07:26,166
I stink as a father.
1420
01:07:26,250 --> 01:07:28,251
You do not stink as a father.
1421
01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:30,170
You're the best father I know.
1422
01:07:30,254 --> 01:07:32,589
That's why I don't understand
why you don't...
1423
01:07:32,673 --> 01:07:33,715
Why I don't want a baby?
1424
01:07:33,799 --> 01:07:36,259
Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!
1425
01:07:43,434 --> 01:07:45,935
No. No, no.
1426
01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:47,812
Tell her it wasn't you talking, Dad.
1427
01:07:47,897 --> 01:07:49,481
It was your flabby ass.
1428
01:07:49,565 --> 01:07:53,026
You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?
1429
01:07:58,783 --> 01:08:02,243
Hey, I'm sorry I raised my voice.
1430
01:08:02,328 --> 01:08:03,912
In front of the children!
1431
01:08:03,996 --> 01:08:05,538
Right, in front of the kids.
1432
01:08:05,623 --> 01:08:06,873
It's just, you...
1433
01:08:06,957 --> 01:08:09,584
All you're doing is bringing up this
baby thing over and over.
1434
01:08:09,668 --> 01:08:11,127
Are you going through, like,
1435
01:08:11,212 --> 01:08:15,256
a "womany" hormone
situation or something?
1436
01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:17,092
Menopause?
1437
01:08:17,176 --> 01:08:19,135
What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.
1438
01:08:19,220 --> 01:08:20,929
Okay, no, I meant schizophrenia.
1439
01:08:21,013 --> 01:08:23,264
No, honey, honey, honey,
1440
01:08:23,349 --> 01:08:26,309
if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?
1441
01:08:26,393 --> 01:08:27,894
How about we just adopt a kid?
1442
01:08:27,978 --> 01:08:29,229
Like a 20-year-old who has a job.
1443
01:08:29,313 --> 01:08:30,814
That way we could make money off of him.
1444
01:08:32,483 --> 01:08:35,777
I just... Don't you think
we can start concentrating on me and you?
1445
01:08:35,861 --> 01:08:38,404
That's all I'm saying. It's our time.
1446
01:08:38,489 --> 01:08:43,076
Well, I am going through
kind of a hormone thing.
1447
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,453
Good, there's pills for that.
1448
01:08:47,081 --> 01:08:48,957
I'm pregnant.
1449
01:08:52,419 --> 01:08:54,379
Our guests are here.
1450
01:08:56,882 --> 01:09:00,009
Wait a minute, when did we even have...
1451
01:09:03,556 --> 01:09:07,725
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
1452
01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:10,562
Wow. Lenny, that's big, brother.
1453
01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:12,147
Yeah, four kids is the best.
1454
01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:13,648
What are you talking about, Prince?
1455
01:09:13,732 --> 01:09:15,775
You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.
1456
01:09:15,860 --> 01:09:17,819
There's a lot of great aspects to that.
1457
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:21,531
Like, when Junior graduates high school,
you'll be 64.
1458
01:09:21,615 --> 01:09:22,907
How is that a good thing?
1459
01:09:22,992 --> 01:09:24,701
Actually, it's horrifying.
1460
01:09:24,785 --> 01:09:26,703
I didn't do the math
before I opened my mouth. Sorry.
1461
01:09:26,787 --> 01:09:28,872
Nice job, Cher.
1462
01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:29,998
Okay, I'm not Cher.
1463
01:09:30,082 --> 01:09:32,167
I'm Meat Loaf, all right? Yeah.
1464
01:09:32,251 --> 01:09:34,961
You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?
1465
01:09:35,045 --> 01:09:36,296
Who are you, Doug Henning?
1466
01:09:36,380 --> 01:09:38,173
I'm Oates.
1467
01:09:38,257 --> 01:09:39,257
Where's Hall?
1468
01:09:39,341 --> 01:09:41,676
Hall's having a playdate with your kids.
1469
01:09:44,889 --> 01:09:46,848
Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.
1470
01:09:46,932 --> 01:09:48,057
All right? You're a great dad.
1471
01:09:48,142 --> 01:09:49,642
Right, I know. I broke my son's leg today.
1472
01:09:49,727 --> 01:09:50,894
That's a real good dad.
1473
01:09:50,978 --> 01:09:53,646
Guys, you're bumming me out, all right?
This is supposed to be party time.
1474
01:09:53,731 --> 01:09:56,691
This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,
1475
01:09:56,775 --> 01:09:59,944
'cause I'm afraid my wife's gonna yell at me
for getting drunk in front of the kids.
1476
01:10:00,029 --> 01:10:03,239
How many of you guys have been to a party
in the past six months?
1477
01:10:04,575 --> 01:10:06,284
A party without a bouncy house.
1478
01:10:07,703 --> 01:10:09,579
A party where they actually invited you.
1479
01:10:11,081 --> 01:10:12,165
Yeah.
1480
01:10:12,249 --> 01:10:14,667
The party's over, fellas.
1481
01:10:14,752 --> 01:10:16,794
You saw the way those frat guys
treated us today.
1482
01:10:16,879 --> 01:10:18,254
We're irrelevant.
1483
01:10:18,339 --> 01:10:19,547
We're losers.
1484
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:20,673
We're old.
1485
01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:22,133
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
1486
01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:24,052
He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.
1487
01:10:24,136 --> 01:10:25,762
You know what, first of all,
1488
01:10:25,846 --> 01:10:28,389
it's a "survanny" pack, a survival fanny pack,
1489
01:10:28,474 --> 01:10:29,849
with many special features.
1490
01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:32,185
So you pull that triangle
and lasagna comes out?
1491
01:10:33,812 --> 01:10:35,188
Why don't you give it a shot?
1492
01:10:35,272 --> 01:10:37,482
You got it. I'll pull the string.
1493
01:10:40,444 --> 01:10:42,528
Like a raft out of hell!
1494
01:10:43,822 --> 01:10:45,865
Yeah, good one, that was good.
1495
01:10:46,325 --> 01:10:48,243
Don't ever say the party's over!
1496
01:10:50,537 --> 01:10:52,330
That didn't happen.
1497
01:10:56,210 --> 01:10:58,336
Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.
1498
01:11:16,313 --> 01:11:18,398
No, no, no, no, no.
1499
01:11:18,482 --> 01:11:19,691
What's with all this Prince?
1500
01:11:19,775 --> 01:11:20,984
- I'm Prince.
- The hell.
1501
01:11:21,068 --> 01:11:22,402
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
1502
01:11:22,486 --> 01:11:24,112
My skin's way lighter than yours.
1503
01:11:24,196 --> 01:11:27,073
You should have came as Seal
on a hunger strike.
1504
01:11:27,157 --> 01:11:30,660
You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.
1505
01:11:30,744 --> 01:11:33,413
And what you doing here, Bumpty?
I thought you was out with my daughter.
1506
01:11:33,497 --> 01:11:35,790
That ain't Bumpty. That's my wife.
1507
01:11:35,874 --> 01:11:38,501
Mary! I didn't recognize you.
1508
01:11:38,585 --> 01:11:39,877
Where's your costume?
1509
01:11:39,962 --> 01:11:42,880
I didn't find out about the party
until it was too late.
1510
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:46,050
So you decided to come as a black Muppet?
1511
01:11:46,385 --> 01:11:48,761
What?
1512
01:11:49,388 --> 01:11:52,849
Come on, you're my one and only,
sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
1513
01:11:53,434 --> 01:11:55,643
Make a muscle for me?
1514
01:11:55,728 --> 01:11:56,853
Pwease?
1515
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,399
So bulgy.
1516
01:12:02,234 --> 01:12:06,321
Like a big caramel apple.
1517
01:12:16,332 --> 01:12:18,082
Wow.
1518
01:12:18,292 --> 01:12:21,919
I'm scared. I feel safe with you.
1519
01:12:32,222 --> 01:12:33,931
Shut up.
1520
01:12:35,517 --> 01:12:39,062
You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.
1521
01:12:39,146 --> 01:12:41,356
I just can't sustain it.
1522
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,608
You know, there's a distance there.
1523
01:12:43,817 --> 01:12:47,862
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,
1524
01:12:47,946 --> 01:12:49,822
or the Discovery Channel,
1525
01:12:49,907 --> 01:12:52,075
or Dino Nuggets.
1526
01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:54,118
But nothing really works.
1527
01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:57,455
See, you understand, you know?
1528
01:12:57,539 --> 01:12:59,582
'Cause you're, I heard,
1529
01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:02,585
sensitive to men.
1530
01:13:03,003 --> 01:13:04,379
God, he's hot!
1531
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:06,714
Zip it! He'll find out our secret!
1532
01:13:13,138 --> 01:13:15,306
- Drink up, partner.
- Yeah!
1533
01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:16,974
Lenny!
1534
01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,810
Secret table.
1535
01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:21,020
Yes, honey, how are you? What's going on?
1536
01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,730
We just trying to get our punch on.
1537
01:13:22,815 --> 01:13:23,773
Becky's sleepy.
1538
01:13:23,857 --> 01:13:25,858
She wants her daddy to put her to bed.
1539
01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:28,736
Well, Daddy's right about
to enjoy some refreshing punch,
1540
01:13:28,821 --> 01:13:30,738
so could you put her to sleep?
1541
01:13:30,823 --> 01:13:32,824
Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch
1542
01:13:32,908 --> 01:13:35,243
with all these kids running around.
1543
01:13:35,369 --> 01:13:36,828
You know what, I'd be okay with that.
1544
01:13:36,912 --> 01:13:38,246
Actually, you wouldn't.
1545
01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:39,664
Gotcha.
1546
01:13:39,748 --> 01:13:42,583
I'll be back soon, fellas.
I'll be back soon. That's a promise.
1547
01:13:42,668 --> 01:13:44,252
- Let's go, little girl.
- Good night.
1548
01:13:44,336 --> 01:13:45,461
Time to go to sleep.
1549
01:13:45,838 --> 01:13:47,505
Close your eyes.
1550
01:13:51,009 --> 01:13:52,343
Yeah, Mom.
1551
01:13:54,012 --> 01:13:56,347
As easy as making a free throw.
1552
01:13:58,517 --> 01:14:00,726
Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.
1553
01:14:00,811 --> 01:14:03,438
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?
1554
01:14:03,522 --> 01:14:04,814
No, no, don't touch that.
1555
01:14:04,898 --> 01:14:06,315
Yeah, you might break it.
1556
01:14:10,362 --> 01:14:12,029
What...
1557
01:14:12,114 --> 01:14:13,906
Where did you learn how to do that?
1558
01:14:14,032 --> 01:14:15,783
I saw it in one of my dreams.
1559
01:14:20,622 --> 01:14:22,915
You're a genius?
1560
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,293
My boy's a genius.
1561
01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:32,675
Your dad's also a genius.
1562
01:14:32,759 --> 01:14:35,219
Sweet dreams there, angel, okay?
1563
01:14:35,304 --> 01:14:38,431
Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?
1564
01:14:38,515 --> 01:14:41,100
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.
1565
01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:43,561
Please lay down.
1566
01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:48,107
I'll lay down with you, then.
1567
01:14:48,192 --> 01:14:51,319
I just... There's a party going on, but...
1568
01:14:51,403 --> 01:14:52,945
Can you tell me a story?
1569
01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:54,655
Look who was in the neighborhood!
1570
01:14:54,740 --> 01:14:57,909
Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!
1571
01:15:11,798 --> 01:15:14,383
- Daddy?
- You don't want one slug?
1572
01:15:14,468 --> 01:15:15,843
No.
1573
01:15:15,928 --> 01:15:18,095
I thought you liked this stuff. Sorry.
1574
01:15:19,139 --> 01:15:22,183
All right. I'll tell you a story.
1575
01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:28,189
Once upon a time, there was a hand,
1576
01:15:28,732 --> 01:15:31,817
and the hand faced-raked the child.
1577
01:15:32,319 --> 01:15:35,571
Sleep!
1578
01:15:35,864 --> 01:15:38,157
Slee...
1579
01:15:39,326 --> 01:15:41,077
Sleep!
1580
01:15:41,745 --> 01:15:45,957
Boy, Feder's cranking
his old rock and roll records pretty loud.
1581
01:15:46,458 --> 01:15:48,292
Guess he's never heard of neighbors.
1582
01:15:51,046 --> 01:15:52,296
Now, why you stopping here?
1583
01:15:52,464 --> 01:15:53,923
I need some air.
1584
01:15:54,007 --> 01:15:55,174
You need some air?
1585
01:15:55,259 --> 01:15:57,885
- We haven't even gotten to the party yet.
- I would appreciate it
1586
01:15:57,970 --> 01:16:00,263
if you would stop trying to "manage" me.
1587
01:16:01,557 --> 01:16:03,683
Word, word.
1588
01:16:04,184 --> 01:16:05,726
Want me to stay and wait with you?
1589
01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:09,772
I just want to be alone!
1590
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:13,025
Yo, don't believe the hype.
1591
01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:15,111
Boy!
1592
01:16:24,288 --> 01:16:28,583
Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr. Gigglesworth.
1593
01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:31,085
You told me he would be okay.
1594
01:16:31,169 --> 01:16:33,170
He will be. I...
1595
01:16:33,255 --> 01:16:35,464
He just needs to rest a little bit longer, okay?
1596
01:16:35,632 --> 01:16:38,884
Please, Daddy. I need to see him.
1597
01:16:39,595 --> 01:16:43,306
He had a very rough day.
1598
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:48,060
But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.
1599
01:16:49,730 --> 01:16:53,024
Doing leg lifts.
I work out when I can, you know?
1600
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,900
Want some Daddy candy right here?
1601
01:16:54,985 --> 01:16:56,944
Why are you naked?
1602
01:16:57,029 --> 01:16:58,571
Global warming.
1603
01:16:59,072 --> 01:17:00,323
Why is this empty?
1604
01:17:00,407 --> 01:17:01,824
- Where is Gigglesworth?
- Hey, hey.
1605
01:17:01,908 --> 01:17:04,952
I'm sorry, man. Were you looking for this?
1606
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:06,287
Why's he look good?
1607
01:17:06,371 --> 01:17:07,622
I sewed him.
1608
01:17:07,706 --> 01:17:08,789
You sew?
1609
01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:09,957
Where'd you learn how to sew?
1610
01:17:10,042 --> 01:17:11,125
Gay camp.
1611
01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:13,419
You went to gay camp? You're gay?
1612
01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:16,172
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
1613
01:17:16,256 --> 01:17:18,799
but no, there's no such thing
as gay camp, man. It was a joke.
1614
01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:20,676
I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.
1615
01:17:20,761 --> 01:17:23,304
I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.
1616
01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:25,389
This is great.
1617
01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:27,933
Gigglesworth's okay,
1618
01:17:28,018 --> 01:17:30,186
you're not fooling around with my wife,
1619
01:17:30,270 --> 01:17:31,520
and you got a pee stain.
1620
01:17:35,692 --> 01:17:37,818
That is not mine.
1621
01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:49,080
You're an animal.
1622
01:17:54,878 --> 01:17:57,755
I am the law!
1623
01:18:07,557 --> 01:18:09,684
Can you dig it?
1624
01:18:21,113 --> 01:18:23,447
Come on, big man,
Lenny's got, like, 12 bathrooms.
1625
01:18:23,657 --> 01:18:25,700
I don't got to go to the bathroom.
1626
01:18:25,784 --> 01:18:27,451
I'm just enjoying the water.
1627
01:18:27,953 --> 01:18:29,912
Get out.
1628
01:18:29,996 --> 01:18:32,581
Hurry! Hurry!
1629
01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:34,375
Fluzoo, come on!
1630
01:18:34,459 --> 01:18:37,336
That's not even warm. It's hot.
1631
01:18:42,300 --> 01:18:44,385
I got to give it to your old man for one thing.
1632
01:18:44,469 --> 01:18:47,263
He could always throw a party.
1633
01:18:47,347 --> 01:18:48,973
This is my dad's party?
1634
01:18:52,436 --> 01:18:55,479
Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.
1635
01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:18,377
Charlotte,
1636
01:19:18,462 --> 01:19:19,754
that was amazing.
1637
01:19:19,838 --> 01:19:21,255
Where'd you learn to sing like that?
1638
01:19:21,339 --> 01:19:24,925
No place. I just sing a little in the shower.
1639
01:19:25,177 --> 01:19:27,470
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
1640
01:19:27,554 --> 01:19:28,804
'Cause I gots the power
1641
01:19:28,889 --> 01:19:31,307
I'm on Today Show
Dissing Matt Lauer
1642
01:19:31,391 --> 01:19:32,433
Bumpty!
1643
01:19:32,517 --> 01:19:36,812
Do me a favor and shut your mouth
before I slap that Mohawk into a chin strap.
1644
01:19:36,897 --> 01:19:38,481
What?
1645
01:19:53,079 --> 01:19:54,330
Hey.
1646
01:19:54,414 --> 01:19:56,457
Who invited you guys?
1647
01:19:56,541 --> 01:19:58,876
Your beautiful wife does.
1648
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,169
Well, she invited her,
1649
01:20:00,253 --> 01:20:03,172
and naturally, we assumed it was a plus one.
1650
01:20:03,715 --> 01:20:04,799
There a problem?
1651
01:20:04,883 --> 01:20:08,511
No, I was gonna say, great Terminator outfit
1652
01:20:08,595 --> 01:20:11,388
and Robert Palmer thing you got on, and...
1653
01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:14,391
Nice babble.
1654
01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:16,977
- How about this?
- No.
1655
01:20:17,062 --> 01:20:18,103
What about that?
1656
01:20:18,188 --> 01:20:20,356
Does that hurt? Is that hurting you?
1657
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:21,524
Yes, it is hurting me.
1658
01:20:21,608 --> 01:20:24,318
Okay. Well, let me do it some more.
1659
01:20:24,402 --> 01:20:26,695
You got something to say?
1660
01:20:26,780 --> 01:20:28,447
Actually, Cavanaugh.
1661
01:20:28,615 --> 01:20:32,159
You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.
1662
01:20:32,244 --> 01:20:33,244
For what?
1663
01:20:33,328 --> 01:20:36,205
For back in the day, always giving me crap.
1664
01:20:36,498 --> 01:20:38,499
You don't want to let bygones be bygones?
1665
01:20:38,583 --> 01:20:41,794
I do. After you apologize to me.
1666
01:20:42,254 --> 01:20:44,046
For stuff I did 30 years ago?
1667
01:20:44,130 --> 01:20:47,675
There isn't a statute
of limitations on being a dick.
1668
01:20:47,759 --> 01:20:49,802
What'd you just say?
1669
01:20:49,886 --> 01:20:51,720
I said what I said.
1670
01:20:51,805 --> 01:20:53,848
You and me are fighting right now.
1671
01:20:53,932 --> 01:20:56,100
Now, let's go! Let's get it over with.
1672
01:20:58,144 --> 01:21:00,521
Man, looks like our friend's about to die.
1673
01:21:00,605 --> 01:21:02,481
Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!
1674
01:21:02,607 --> 01:21:05,150
We're already here.
1675
01:21:07,946 --> 01:21:09,238
Hold my hair, woman.
1676
01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:11,240
You ready for this?
1677
01:21:11,324 --> 01:21:14,076
Not at all, but I'm gonna do this,
1678
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:16,120
'cause I got to show my son what's right.
1679
01:21:19,958 --> 01:21:21,709
We'd do anything for our boys, wouldn't we?
1680
01:21:21,793 --> 01:21:23,210
Absolutely.
1681
01:21:23,295 --> 01:21:24,378
Yeah.
1682
01:21:24,462 --> 01:21:26,046
My boy's over in Afghanistan.
1683
01:21:26,131 --> 01:21:29,508
Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.
1684
01:21:29,593 --> 01:21:31,051
Yeah, me, too.
1685
01:21:31,136 --> 01:21:32,553
Sucker-punch him, Feder.
1686
01:21:32,637 --> 01:21:37,016
Lick his bicep. Lick it, bite it, lick the tan off.
1687
01:21:38,643 --> 01:21:40,686
All right, here's what's gonna happen.
1688
01:21:40,770 --> 01:21:43,439
Hit me right on the chin.
I'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
1689
01:21:43,523 --> 01:21:45,774
- What are you talking about?
- Just do it.
1690
01:21:45,859 --> 01:21:48,319
I know you'd do the same for me
if my boy was watching.
1691
01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,155
Let's get busy, Hollywood!
1692
01:21:58,455 --> 01:21:59,872
No! Don't hit me, please!
1693
01:21:59,956 --> 01:22:01,874
I'm sorry. Please don't hit me.
1694
01:22:01,958 --> 01:22:03,375
You would tear me limb from limb.
1695
01:22:03,460 --> 01:22:04,752
Open this.
1696
01:22:04,836 --> 01:22:07,463
The only reason I picked on you
was because I was afraid of you.
1697
01:22:07,547 --> 01:22:08,964
- What?
- Oh, my God.
1698
01:22:09,049 --> 01:22:11,050
Please, please, please. Just go with it.
1699
01:22:11,134 --> 01:22:13,385
I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.
1700
01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:17,264
Please. Don't hit me.
1701
01:22:17,349 --> 01:22:20,434
Cavanaugh's crying. This is ridiculous!
1702
01:22:20,518 --> 01:22:21,477
Cavanaugh.
1703
01:22:21,561 --> 01:22:23,103
You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?
1704
01:22:23,188 --> 01:22:24,188
No! Please.
1705
01:22:24,439 --> 01:22:26,482
Or the elbow?
1706
01:22:26,858 --> 01:22:28,275
Finger in the eye!
1707
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,235
- Wow.
- Listen to this guy!
1708
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:33,822
All right, get up. Straighten up.
1709
01:22:34,157 --> 01:22:35,950
I'm not gonna hit you,
1710
01:22:36,576 --> 01:22:40,955
but if you ever disrespect me
1711
01:22:41,039 --> 01:22:42,831
or anybody,
1712
01:22:42,916 --> 01:22:44,750
I will hunt you down,
1713
01:22:44,834 --> 01:22:48,462
and I will slap you into a pile of tattoos,
1714
01:22:49,047 --> 01:22:50,714
bad breath
1715
01:22:51,383 --> 01:22:52,466
and back zits.
1716
01:22:53,510 --> 01:22:55,469
Please.
1717
01:22:55,553 --> 01:22:57,680
Do you understand me?
1718
01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,515
Yes, I understand you.
1719
01:22:59,599 --> 01:23:02,184
Do you understand me?
1720
01:23:02,268 --> 01:23:04,728
Yes, I understand you!
1721
01:23:05,063 --> 01:23:06,814
Then walk away before I change my mind.
1722
01:23:06,898 --> 01:23:08,273
Thank you very much.
1723
01:23:14,030 --> 01:23:16,156
- Hey, man, look at him!
- What just happened?
1724
01:23:16,241 --> 01:23:18,158
Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
1725
01:23:18,243 --> 01:23:21,495
Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.
1726
01:23:21,579 --> 01:23:24,957
You get extra special hip-hop dance tonight.
1727
01:23:25,041 --> 01:23:26,625
Word up.
1728
01:23:30,380 --> 01:23:32,506
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
1729
01:23:32,590 --> 01:23:36,176
could you tell him that I'm here waiting
like we arranged?
1730
01:23:36,261 --> 01:23:38,012
Guys? Guys?
1731
01:23:39,514 --> 01:23:43,017
Yeah, okay. Okay, I am a person!
1732
01:23:43,101 --> 01:23:45,019
- That was awesome, by the way.
- Had to. Had to.
1733
01:23:45,103 --> 01:23:46,520
Yeah, yeah, you had to.
1734
01:23:46,604 --> 01:23:48,188
He let you off the hook, didn't he?
1735
01:23:48,273 --> 01:23:51,191
He did, he did, but I had to go with it.
1736
01:23:56,740 --> 01:23:58,615
I can't believe it!
1737
01:23:58,700 --> 01:24:00,868
We hit the moron jackpot!
1738
01:24:00,952 --> 01:24:05,247
Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.
1739
01:24:05,331 --> 01:24:06,790
Who are they?
1740
01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:09,334
Brunson University frat guys.
1741
01:24:09,419 --> 01:24:12,171
Oh, God, I hate white people.
1742
01:24:12,297 --> 01:24:15,049
Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?
1743
01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:18,177
I tell you what is the matter.
1744
01:24:18,261 --> 01:24:20,971
These old townies trashed our frat house!
1745
01:24:21,056 --> 01:24:24,767
And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!
1746
01:24:24,851 --> 01:24:26,894
Yeah!
1747
01:24:27,020 --> 01:24:29,938
They didn't do it.
1748
01:24:30,023 --> 01:24:31,398
Me do it.
1749
01:24:31,483 --> 01:24:33,776
Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog!
1750
01:24:33,860 --> 01:24:35,319
Who's Z-Dog?
1751
01:24:35,403 --> 01:24:36,695
We know they're trying to get back at us
1752
01:24:36,780 --> 01:24:38,989
for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.
1753
01:24:39,074 --> 01:24:42,576
Your swimming hole? I've been swimming
at the quarry since I was eight years old.
1754
01:24:42,660 --> 01:24:45,079
Apparently, everybody in this crap town
1755
01:24:45,163 --> 01:24:47,956
has been swimming there
since they were eight years old.
1756
01:24:48,041 --> 01:24:52,169
I guess nobody wants to leave this dump
because they're too busy sucking!
1757
01:24:57,634 --> 01:24:58,926
We'll finish later.
1758
01:24:59,010 --> 01:25:00,427
- You promise?
- I promise.
1759
01:25:00,512 --> 01:25:02,304
- Okay.
- Hey, smart guy!
1760
01:25:02,388 --> 01:25:04,556
Lenny Feder left this town,
1761
01:25:04,641 --> 01:25:07,684
moved to Hollywood, made big bucks,
1762
01:25:07,769 --> 01:25:10,145
probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together
1763
01:25:10,230 --> 01:25:11,230
ever will.
1764
01:25:11,314 --> 01:25:12,523
But guess what?
1765
01:25:12,649 --> 01:25:14,233
He came back here.
1766
01:25:14,317 --> 01:25:19,029
'Cause this beautiful town is his home.
And it always will be his home.
1767
01:25:24,369 --> 01:25:28,372
Well, that was just a moving testament
to this community, bro!
1768
01:25:28,456 --> 01:25:32,584
But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.
1769
01:25:32,669 --> 01:25:37,297
We came here to kick some old, smelly ass!
1770
01:25:43,012 --> 01:25:45,264
Fellas, we may be old.
1771
01:25:45,390 --> 01:25:46,640
We may be smelly.
1772
01:25:46,724 --> 01:25:48,725
We may have a penis.
1773
01:25:51,855 --> 01:25:54,565
But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here
1774
01:25:54,649 --> 01:25:57,526
is gonna be you spoiled,
1775
01:25:57,652 --> 01:26:01,530
privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags.
1776
01:26:01,614 --> 01:26:02,781
You hear that?
1777
01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:05,284
Now, let's get busy!
1778
01:26:26,264 --> 01:26:27,472
They're dancing on the ceiling
1779
01:26:27,557 --> 01:26:30,184
They're dancing on the floor
1780
01:26:30,268 --> 01:26:33,353
People everywhere coming through the door
1781
01:26:33,438 --> 01:26:36,523
They know there's a party going on
1782
01:26:46,117 --> 01:26:47,659
Come on, son!
1783
01:26:47,744 --> 01:26:48,702
You ain't tough!
1784
01:26:48,786 --> 01:26:50,245
Hit him!
1785
01:26:50,914 --> 01:26:55,375
Yeah, Braden! Yeah! Damn!
1786
01:26:55,460 --> 01:26:56,960
You want this?
1787
01:27:01,299 --> 01:27:02,591
Sir, please stop it!
1788
01:27:02,675 --> 01:27:04,927
That's not a sir! That's a woman!
1789
01:27:05,011 --> 01:27:07,137
My woman!
1790
01:27:07,222 --> 01:27:09,389
Come on, babe.
1791
01:27:09,474 --> 01:27:12,726
I know you're gonna lose control
1792
01:27:12,810 --> 01:27:14,019
You can do
1793
01:27:14,103 --> 01:27:16,021
Oh, you're so hot.
1794
01:27:19,567 --> 01:27:22,361
I know it's cold outside
1795
01:27:22,445 --> 01:27:24,446
Don't bust my face!
1796
01:27:24,989 --> 01:27:26,490
You saved me.
1797
01:27:28,409 --> 01:27:31,662
I will protect you for the rest of your life.
1798
01:27:31,746 --> 01:27:34,831
Okay, blow dryer boy.
1799
01:27:38,336 --> 01:27:39,586
Oh, God, no!
1800
01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:41,713
No! No!
1801
01:27:41,798 --> 01:27:43,799
Yeah! Yeah!
1802
01:27:43,883 --> 01:27:45,592
Having a good anniversary, babe?
1803
01:27:45,677 --> 01:27:47,010
Honey, the best.
1804
01:27:51,516 --> 01:27:52,933
I can't breathe.
1805
01:27:53,017 --> 01:27:54,101
Choking me!
1806
01:28:04,737 --> 01:28:05,904
Yeah!
1807
01:28:05,989 --> 01:28:07,781
We did it. We did it, man.
1808
01:28:07,865 --> 01:28:08,824
Yeah.
1809
01:28:08,908 --> 01:28:10,367
We make a good team.
1810
01:28:10,451 --> 01:28:11,952
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
1811
01:28:38,271 --> 01:28:40,647
I know it's cold outside
1812
01:28:40,732 --> 01:28:43,567
Come on, babe, I'll keep you satisfied
1813
01:28:43,651 --> 01:28:44,776
Boomer!
1814
01:28:44,861 --> 01:28:46,069
What's going on?
1815
01:28:46,154 --> 01:28:47,612
This!
1816
01:28:47,697 --> 01:28:50,490
You're a traitor, Boomer!
1817
01:28:50,575 --> 01:28:51,742
His name's not Boomer!
1818
01:28:52,827 --> 01:28:54,119
It's Gary.
1819
01:28:54,203 --> 01:28:55,370
It's Greg.
1820
01:28:55,455 --> 01:28:57,622
Greg.
1821
01:29:04,630 --> 01:29:06,965
Oh, my God! Did you see his head?
1822
01:29:07,050 --> 01:29:08,759
He's got a... He's bald!
1823
01:29:08,926 --> 01:29:10,344
I got a wild one!
1824
01:29:10,428 --> 01:29:12,179
I got a wild one!
1825
01:29:14,098 --> 01:29:15,682
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
1826
01:29:15,767 --> 01:29:17,809
Nobody noogies my brother!
1827
01:29:19,687 --> 01:29:22,064
My brain! My brain!
1828
01:29:26,736 --> 01:29:28,487
B.U.!
1829
01:29:28,571 --> 01:29:30,030
Hey, man! I had that one.
1830
01:29:30,114 --> 01:29:31,698
I know you did, big brother.
1831
01:29:31,783 --> 01:29:33,867
- Get out of here!
- Don't hit me!
1832
01:29:33,951 --> 01:29:36,870
Hey, hey, look who showed up.
1833
01:29:36,954 --> 01:29:39,915
Flippy-boy.
Yeah, you want to flip your way out of this?
1834
01:29:41,292 --> 01:29:42,709
Too slow, old man.
1835
01:29:42,794 --> 01:29:44,127
Where you work out, Cinnabon?
1836
01:29:47,298 --> 01:29:48,548
Look who's back up, baby.
1837
01:29:48,633 --> 01:29:50,675
I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.
1838
01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:52,052
All right.
1839
01:29:52,136 --> 01:29:53,553
We're gonna throw some legs, huh?
1840
01:29:53,638 --> 01:29:55,305
You want to throw some legs, huh?
1841
01:29:57,308 --> 01:29:59,142
Boom!
1842
01:29:59,227 --> 01:30:00,977
That just happened.
1843
01:30:01,771 --> 01:30:04,106
What, were you raised by ninjas?
1844
01:30:05,608 --> 01:30:07,275
Congratulations.
1845
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:08,360
You won the fight.
1846
01:30:08,444 --> 01:30:09,444
Here's your prize.
1847
01:30:11,114 --> 01:30:14,408
Thanks, little girl. It looks just like you.
1848
01:30:17,036 --> 01:30:18,662
It's a monkey!
1849
01:30:19,163 --> 01:30:20,330
Look at me!
1850
01:30:20,415 --> 01:30:23,375
I'm a stupid little monkey.
1851
01:30:27,422 --> 01:30:29,840
Good night.
1852
01:30:32,510 --> 01:30:34,678
Come on, guys! We got to get out!
1853
01:30:34,762 --> 01:30:36,138
Let's go!
1854
01:30:38,141 --> 01:30:39,933
Lenny! Baby.
1855
01:30:40,017 --> 01:30:41,768
- Baby, are you all right?
- I'm coming for you, Leonard!
1856
01:30:43,354 --> 01:30:46,273
I'm here for you, Leonard. I'm here for you.
1857
01:30:46,357 --> 01:30:48,316
Who... Who are you?
1858
01:30:48,401 --> 01:30:49,860
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
1859
01:30:51,904 --> 01:30:54,489
Oops, sorry, I kicked your barrette.
1860
01:30:58,286 --> 01:31:00,454
Sorry, honey!
1861
01:31:02,415 --> 01:31:05,542
You guys were Fuji and Tanaka out there.
1862
01:31:05,626 --> 01:31:07,043
This is just like high school.
1863
01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:11,006
Get drunk, get in a fight,
wind up back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
1864
01:31:11,090 --> 01:31:13,091
Except for the drunk part, Mommy.
1865
01:31:15,386 --> 01:31:19,055
All you guys together brings back
so many memories.
1866
01:31:19,599 --> 01:31:22,225
- Dickie, is this you and Lenny?
- Let's see.
1867
01:31:22,393 --> 01:31:24,561
Yeah, me and Hollywood were
best friends in kindergarten.
1868
01:31:24,645 --> 01:31:25,937
- Yep.
- What happened?
1869
01:31:26,022 --> 01:31:28,523
What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.
1870
01:31:28,608 --> 01:31:29,858
We kind of drifted apart, right?
1871
01:31:29,942 --> 01:31:32,110
Yeah. He was in those smart classes.
1872
01:31:32,195 --> 01:31:33,695
I was in the other classes.
1873
01:31:36,324 --> 01:31:37,657
Hey, who's this guy?
1874
01:31:37,742 --> 01:31:39,659
- Anybody remember him?
- Who is that?
1875
01:31:39,744 --> 01:31:40,827
Wow, what happened to that kid?
1876
01:31:40,912 --> 01:31:42,204
He's still here.
1877
01:31:45,541 --> 01:31:47,918
Why do I know my new kid's
gonna end up looking like that?
1878
01:31:48,002 --> 01:31:50,337
- You're having a baby, Lenny?
- Yeah.
1879
01:31:50,421 --> 01:31:51,922
Yeah, so I'm told, Mrs. Lamonsoff.
1880
01:31:52,131 --> 01:31:53,757
A surprise, huh?
1881
01:31:53,841 --> 01:31:55,175
Yes.
1882
01:31:55,259 --> 01:31:58,887
People today try to plan things out so much.
1883
01:31:58,971 --> 01:32:02,140
But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less
1884
01:32:02,225 --> 01:32:04,476
than one you planned for.
1885
01:32:05,102 --> 01:32:08,563
Someday, Lenny, you won't even remember
what life was like with just three children.
1886
01:32:09,941 --> 01:32:11,858
You think we wanted Eric?
1887
01:32:11,943 --> 01:32:13,443
- He was an accident.
- Mama.
1888
01:32:13,528 --> 01:32:16,655
His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...
1889
01:32:16,739 --> 01:32:18,865
You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.
1890
01:32:18,950 --> 01:32:21,034
I'm turning the page.
1891
01:32:21,118 --> 01:32:22,577
Finish the story!
1892
01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:36,216
Officer Dante's passed out on our lawn.
1893
01:32:36,300 --> 01:32:39,803
I know. I saw him trying to arrest an anthill.
1894
01:32:42,890 --> 01:32:44,975
Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?
1895
01:32:48,145 --> 01:32:50,021
It's okay. We'll talk tomorrow.
1896
01:32:50,106 --> 01:32:51,356
Okay.
1897
01:32:51,440 --> 01:32:54,776
Okay, you go to sleep.
I'll make this between me and the baby.
1898
01:33:02,159 --> 01:33:04,202
Hello in there.
1899
01:33:04,620 --> 01:33:06,246
This is your daddy speaking.
1900
01:33:08,082 --> 01:33:11,376
I just want to tell you welcome to the family,
1901
01:33:11,460 --> 01:33:14,879
and I love you very, very, very much.
1902
01:33:15,214 --> 01:33:19,050
I really don't care if you're a boy or girl.
1903
01:33:20,011 --> 01:33:22,971
I just need you to promise me one thing.
1904
01:33:23,389 --> 01:33:27,183
When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,
1905
01:33:27,268 --> 01:33:29,978
so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.
1906
01:33:30,354 --> 01:33:31,313
Hey.
1907
01:33:31,397 --> 01:33:33,315
I knew that was coming.
1908
01:33:35,234 --> 01:33:38,778
To be honest,
I don't need no stinking ballet teacher.
1909
01:33:39,030 --> 01:33:41,865
I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,
1910
01:33:41,949 --> 01:33:43,199
your mommy.
1911
01:33:43,868 --> 01:33:47,370
Are you saying sweet things to me
because you want to fool around?
1912
01:33:47,663 --> 01:33:50,457
That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.
1913
01:33:50,541 --> 01:33:53,668
Okay, Mr. Romantic.
1914
01:33:54,045 --> 01:33:55,795
But let's do this quick,
1915
01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:57,714
we have a big day tomorrow, okay?
1916
01:33:57,798 --> 01:33:59,007
Absolutely.
1917
01:33:59,091 --> 01:34:00,842
Watch your head in there.
1918
01:34:07,016 --> 01:34:09,309
Hang on. Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
1919
01:34:09,393 --> 01:34:12,562
Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!
1920
01:34:15,066 --> 01:34:19,778
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
1921
01:34:19,862 --> 01:34:21,488
Lenny, grow up!
1922
01:34:21,572 --> 01:34:23,907
I did it for the baby!
137464
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