All language subtitles for S o T S01E06 The Debate Trip 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-TEPES_track3_[eng]

RON:
Thank you, Tucson!

* *

Oh!

Ow.
Oh!

Sorry, buddy.
Even in stair luge,

you gotta stick the landing.

You okay?

No, I'm not okay.
Look at my knee!

Why did you let me
do that?

Oh, it's a scrape. You're fine.

You suck!

You're a joke of a dad.

A blind pile of turds would
be a better dad than you.

(knocking on door)

Angela.

Have you done something
with your face?

It's different.

Angrier. I like it.

You've been spiking my birdbath
with booze again.

Well, I think the real
question here is:

Why do you keep drinking
from your birdbath?

Okay, birds drink
from the bath, Ron,

and I know there's booze in
there because they stagger away

and throw up in the bushes.

Oh, lightweights.

I got a squirrel in the backyard

that can drink me
under the table.

I cannot believe

that with how hard Glenn and
I are trying to have kids,

God just hands you three of 'em.

We wanted a better dad,

but he was the best
we could get.

(chuckling): Shh.
Oh, look
at that knee.

And you were just standing there
with a camcorder?

Yeah, I got the whole thing.
(scoffs)

Sweetie, let's get
that fixed up.

Someone needs a little TLC.

Mm-hmm.
ROBBY: Yeah.

About time.

Ron, I need
you to...

Who let her in here?!

Well, Robby needed some TLC.

And I don't know
where we keep that.

Angela's dangerous.

She's a total snoop,
and she hates you.

Relax. She's thinking with her
uterus right now, okay.

The antenna are down.

Doesn't matter. Keep her out.

Our house, our rules.

(mimicking Gary):
Our house, our rules.

Listen, I need you to take me
to Flagstaff tomorrow

for my debate tournament.

Yeah! Road trip!

There was no room in any
of the other carpools.

Road trip!

Oh, God, are you one
of those people

who gets excited about an
overnight trip, no matter...

Overnight road trip!
Double bam! Yeah!

Oh, that's so good, man.

Hey, check it out.
We'll do a beef jerky crawl.

The dried meats on the I-17
are superb this time of year.

Oh, and I get to sleep in the
backseat of the car. Boom.

We're not sleeping in your car.

A hotel?

Oh.

Oh, that's fantastic.

Oh, a night in a real bed

beats a night
on that couch any day.

Look at my spine. It's
like a question mark. Huh?

Oh, there he is.

Good as new. What'd I tell ya?

Yeah? That thing on my knee
was serious.

It's called a boo-boo!

Oh.

That is serious.

(engine revving)

* *

I have to admit,

the turkey jerky
from the windowless shack

had a really smooth
finish.

Oh, that's the nitrites, baby.

Fully loaded.

But we're 15 minutes
behind schedule.

I only have six minutes
to freshen up, instead of 21.

Oh, time doesn't exist
on a road trip, Gary.

Fact is, if you stayed on a
road trip, you'd never age.

As long as you're driving
against the sun.

That's not me, that's Einstein.

What the hell?

You brought your own sheets?

Hey, I've seen CSI.

We're not the only living
organisms in this room.

All right, knock yourself out,
Grissom.

What?
Who locked out the porn?

I called ahead and asked for
the Christian Family Package.

I wasn't gonna watch it
with you in the room.

That's ridiculous.

Anyway, hey, you don't
make the rules here.

Okay? This is not your house.

It's not your TV,
not your thermostat,

not your mini-fridge.

Oh, speaking of which...

No, don't eat from there.
It's a rip-off.

Yeah, I know. That's what makes
it taste so good, dum-dum.

Oh, Mr. Toblerone.

You're classy because
you're hard to bite.

Hey, Ron,

you touch it, you bought it.

And stay away from
the cola.

It's my study beverage
for later.

Whatever.

Okay, back to business.

(bed creaking)

What are you doing?

Trying to find the sweet spot.

Every bed's got one.

Just gotta find it.

And there it is.

No, false alarm. That's not it.

Oh!

Oh, there it is.

I miss so much sleeping
one floor above you.

(snoring)

(knocking on door)
Gary said

we're not supposed to open
the door for anybody.

Don't be ridiculous.

Gary is not...
Oh crap, it's Angela!

No, she's cool.

What?

Hi, Amma.

Hi, Pooh Bear.

I wanted to see

how you're doing.

Where's Ron?

Uh, he's at barber college.

Yeah, he's getting
his Master's

in-in hair theory.

I've seen his hair. Where is he?

He and Gary went to Flagstaff
overnight.

He left you two alone?

Without any adult supervision?

Even when he's here,

it's borderline.

All right, you know what?

Glenn's out of town working
on our relationship.

You kids need someone.

I'm gonna stay here and baby-sit
you guys tonight.

Oh, no.

I mean, not me.

I've got a sleepover
that I'm going to...

at a friend's house with really,
incredibly strict parents.

Yeah, he's a prison guard,

and she is a tennis umpire.

For a prison.

Gotta get my toothbrush.

So, so, Ron was going to

let you go to a sleepover and
leave Robby by himself?

He is the most
brain-dead, selfish...

It's amazing you kids know
how to dress yourselves.

All right, Robby, I'm going home
to get my stuff.

Brandon,

have your friend's mother call
me when you get there.

BRANDON:
Uh-huh.

(door closes)

You don't have a sleepover.

And I'm also not a little kid
who needs a babysitter.

I can take care of myself.

Yeah, right. Where you gonna go?

I don't know. Maybe
I'll ride the rails,

pick avocados in California,

join the Army for
a couple of days.

Okay, well, I'll leave
a window open for you.

Probably see you around 10:30.

Bye.

* *

Oh, look out,
here's our ace.

Gary Gunderson.

(chuckles)
Well, you know.

That's debatable.

(both laugh)

Angela, no. You're what?

You're baby-sit... you don't...

That is really
not necessary, okay?

Oh, really, Angela?

Worst father in the world?

Well, I bought myself a coffee
mug that says otherwise.

Okay? Click.

Well, we're set for
entertainment tonight.

I just heard they're reenacting
the McKinley-Bryan debates

in the Oak Room.

Goody.
Oh, and FYI,

not everyone with food on
their plate is serving it.

Yeah, the lady with
the shrimp cocktail

made that abundantly clear.

(sighs)

Laters.

This kid on our team

is such an uptight
control freak.

GIRL:
He's such a know-it-all.

Even if he agrees
with your idea,

he'll say you came up with
it the wrong way.

(chuckling): Oh, man.

Uptight control
freak, huh?

I went to school with this kid
named Tom Beschloss.

We called him
"Tom Getlost."

(all laugh)

The kid was an idiot.

The guy on our team,

his nickname is "Gary
No-Funderson."

And we told him there was
no room in our carpools,

because we couldn't stand
riding in a car with him.

Right. But that-that doesn't--

that doesn't rhyme
with his real name, right?

Um... yeah.

Oh, I need a mini quiche.
Thank you.

Mmm!

When are you coming by with
those lamb skewers?

I don't work here.

You should.

You're very, very good at this.

Mmm, one more?

* *

Excuse me. Hi.

Am I anywhere
near Covenant Avenue?

Food Hound says
this neighborhood

is the armpit of Tucson,

but there's a really cool
cupcake shop around here

that makes "rubbing elbows with
the locals almost worth it."

Hey, I live here.

Very cool.

I'll keep looking.

(laughing)

(sighs)

Unbelievable.

Oh, what? Like that's on me

and not the maid who
left her cart unattended

in the hallway?

I don't think so.
Did you see my

teammates avoiding me at the
reenactment?

No, sorry.

I was a little busy
brainstorming suicide options.

No one could look at me.

Clearly they're unprepared
for tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah.

You know what?

My back is killing me.

I'm gonna take a super long
bubble bath.

How long is super long?

I don't know, Gary. It's not a
fixed amount of time, all right?

It's just whenever
it feels super.

Well, don't make
it too long.

It'll fog up
the mirrors.

And I want be able
to practice my

"I've got six ways to defeat
your argument" look.

I'm gonna make it as long
as I want, Gary, okay?

As a matter of fact, now that
you've complained about it,

I'm upgrading to crazy
long bubble bath.

You are so selfish.

I don't think you want to
have this discussion, Gary.

I'm sorry, but that's
what you are.

You're selfish and obnoxious.

It's why you don't
have any friends.

Oh, I don't have any friends?

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. Nothing.

I guess, uh, people
with no friends

just like to repeat things.

(door closes)

There we go.

All clean.

Isn't that better?
It is.

Wow.

My hands smell like hands.

How'd you do that?

Well, play your cards right,
and I'll show you

how to make your hair smell
like hair tonight, too.

Now...

Eat up.

Is this some kind of joke?

What's this green stuff?

It's broccoli.

Yeah, no thanks.

I like hot dogs
and cheese sticks.

Well, you need to eat
your veggies.

Don't you want to grow up
to be big and strong?

Listen, Angela,
you've been great.

The bandage...

figuring out the shoe thing...

all top-notch stuff.

But I eat hot dogs
and cheese sticks.

Robby, don't make me
give you a time-out.

Fine by me. I got hot dogs
and cheese sticks in my room.

Then I'll give you a time-out
in some other room.

Lady, I got hot dogs and cheese
sticks all over this house.

Robby.

No.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Well, hello, Brandon.

Thank you for calling.
It's nice to know I have

at least one kid
cooperating tonight.

May I please speak
with Greg's mother?

Yes, of course, Angela.

Hi, you must be Angela.

Oh, well, my husband
and I both think

your Brandon is a delight.

Oh.

No, thank you, for raising
such a lovely young man.

(laughs)

Oh, in bed by 10:00,
of course.

Buh-bye now.

Wow, you have a really
nice phone voice.

Thank you so much.
Here.

What was it we agreed on,
five dollars?

Hey, my phone!

My...

That woman,
she just took my phone!

Whoa, whoa, okay, slow down.

It's okay.

Do you have any ID?

Yeah, here.

Okay, I'm heading in.

Fair warning,
there will be a lot

of singing going
on in there.

If you have any requests,
just slip them under the door,

we'll try to get to them.

Fine!

I don't get it.

No one wants to prep, which
means I'm just gonna have to

carry everyone,
like I always do.

Yeah, you ever think

that attitude may be

why people don't
wanna prep with you?

They're jealous
of my competence?

Yeah.

That, or they
think you're obnoxious.

It's hard to say.

Well, you would be
the expert on that.

(sighs)

You know what, Gary, I'm just,

I'm trying to give you some
fatherly advice, all right?

Nobody is gonna like you

if you act like
you're better than them.

I'm not paying you for advice.

And you're not my father, okay?

You're just the help.

I'm the help.

(chuckles)

Okay, all right, that's it,
the gloves are off, okay?

Do you wanna know what
I heard down at the mixer?

Your teammates hate you!

They all call you
"Gary No-Funderson"!

Did you know that?

Also, another little fact,

they all lied about
their carpools being full.

Who can blame them?

You have no friends because
you're a stuck-up control freak.

I am not a control freak!

Yes, you are!

Don't even think

about using my bath gel,

because I mark the bottle
after every use!

Fine!

Just get my shower cap.

Steam makes my hair go frizzy.

"Gary No-Funderson"?

That's so poorly constructed.

And they wonder why I rewrite
their opening statements.

Unbelievable.

He took my study beverage.

Hey! Who said
that about me?
What, hey, what?

Who said I was

"No-Funderson"?
What?

I want a name,
because you know what?

You know what?
It doesn't make any sense.

Oh, Gary, it's not
important, okay?

I mean,
it literally makes no sense.

There is a lot of truth to it.

But, hey, do you
like The Beatles?

Are you feeling okay?

I feel great.

But you know what?

What?
You know what?

People hate me.

Oh, no.

Come on. That's...
Yeah.

You know, you're not, you're
not... you're not that bad.

Right? Why do you care
what people think,
anyway? Look at me.

Do you think
I'd be where I am in life

if I cared what people think?

Where are you, Ron?

Okay, I'm a bad example.
But look, my point is,

you are going places, all right?

You're gonna do fine.

I mean, it wouldn't kill you
to remove

one of those
rods out of your butt.

But that's just my opinion.

Thanks, Ron.

Now I'm sorry I drank your cola.

Even though it was my cola.

Oh, boy, whoa, what?
How much did you drink?

You know what?

All of it.

Oh, no.

Hey, uh, Gary,

I don't want you
to panic or anything,

but, uh, you just
consumed a quantity

of alcohol meant for
a much, much larger

and angrier person.

You know what?

It took me a while,
but... I get you.

(laughing):
I used to hate you.

But that was my wall.

Uh...

I love you, Ron.

I'm a lovable guy.

Hey, hey, you know what?

What?
What?

Hey,

we should sing.

Yeah, we never sing.

Yeah, that's what
we should do.

ANGELA:
Okay, kiddo, it's bed time.

Bed what?

Bed time.
The time when you go to bed.

No, no, no, no,
all my favorite shows

come on after 11:00.

And besides, you haven't
passed out on the couch yet.

Of course that's
the pattern.
And while you're up,

could you snag me a coffee?

Black, nine sugars.

All right, that's enough.

Upstairs and
brush your teeth.

We don't do that
in our family.

Now!
Just because
you're yelling

doesn't mean I'm listening.

RON:
Here you go, buddy.

Oh, God, what's happening?

My head is spinning.

What do I do, Ron?

Well, ordinarily I'd
tell you to hit another club

and start telling chicks
you're a helicopter pilot.

I'm gonna be toast tomorrow.

I'm not gonna be able to sleep.

What is this throbbing?

Well, that's just brain
cells dying, buddy.

Okay, don't worry about it.

You don't need that many,
they just slow you down.

I expect to see your PJ's on
when I come up there, young man.

Hi, Brandon. It's Angela.

I'm just calling
to check on you before bed.

WOMAN: First of all,
I don't speak Spanish.

And second of all,

how much metal did you put
in my brain, Mr. President?

How much metal?!
Oh, God...

Oh, God, what did I do?

Robby?

Rob-Robby, Robby, someone
has Brandon's phone.

I don't even know where he is.
I... How could I be so stupid?

Don't worry,
I know where to find him.

You do?
Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Brandon?

He's in there.

It's where he always goes.

I don't see him.

I think I can
hear him whimpering.

Brandon?

Robby? Robby, Pooh Bear?
(knocking)

So long, Amma, I'm running away.

Robby, please,
I get claustrophobic!

You should've thought of that

before you made me
brush my teeth!

Robby?!

Oh, not good.

At least the ringing
in my head finally stopped.

(fire alarm blaring)

(indistinct voices)

(siren blaring)

Hey.

Oh, boy, sucks about
the fire alarm, huh?

What did you do, Ron?

Nothing.

Just leveled the playing field
a little bit, you know?

If you're not sleeping,
neither is the competition.

You did that for me?

Yeah, I figured
it was partly my fault.

At least in the eyes
of the law, right?

Hey, Robby.

What's all
the excitement?

Oh, my God, Robby!

What are you doing here?

Don't get a big head over this,

but you take better
care of me than Angela.

Hey, thanks, buddy.

Oh, and you have
to pay the cabbie.

It was $275
to drop me off.

Probably a little more now.

(chuckles)

Hi. Gotta get my wallet.

One sec.

Come on, let's go.

(gasps)
Yes!

You look like
you're new at this.

Yeah, well,

it was a rough night.

Someone took my phone,

then someone took my wallet.

Then I traded my
shoes with someone

who said they had my wallet,

but I should have
verified that first.

Share a burrito?

Love to.

Things are looking up, though.

I can wrap these tennis shoes
in some packing tape,

they'll be good as new.

People said I couldn't

hack it on my own.

What are you doing out here?

Me?

This woman tried to baby-sit me.

I said no way.

Good for you, shows you got
an independent spirit.

Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

I did the exact same thing
as you 30 years ago,

and look at my life.

Guys like us,

we don't need no babysitters.

Nope.

Ugh, where did you
buy this burrito?

Buy it?

I got it from the irregular bin
behind the food service company.

Don't worry,

those vending machine people
have impossibly high standards.

Ugh, I'll never drink again.

(laughing): Well, that's what
everyone always says.

Hey, look, it might be
good for you to be a little

distracted in there, all right,
shake it up a little bit,

loosen you up, get
you off your game.

I am willing to bet you're gonna
do great in there. Come on.

We did it!
(cheering)

Yeah!

Well, I'm glad betting
isn't allowed at these things.

Oh, God, I was
such a mess in there.

I was sweating
and stammering...

Did I ask to buy a vowel?

I liked the part
where you drooled.

RON:
Yeah, you know,
you almost saved it

when you started speaking
in tongues.

ADAM:
Hey, Gar.

Tough break in there.

Tough break?

I embarrassed you guys.

Don't you want to kill me?

Not as much as we did before.
Really?

It was kind of nice to see
Mr. Know-It-All fail so big.

You may not remember,

because you passed out
a couple of times,

but the rest of us actually got
a chance to do some debating.

Huh.

You want to ride back with us?

There's room.

Thanks.

But I already have a ride.

* *

Here we go.

Road trip!

All right.
He shoots, he scores.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Oh, God, I hate these guys.

Don't look them in the eye--
they can read your thoughts.

Flowers for the lady?

Nope. Get away
from the car.

Holy crap. That's Brandon.

Brandon, get in here.

Oh, thank God it's you guys.

So, you'll buy my flowers?

Open the windows.

Everyone open your windows.

* *

ANGELA:
Hello?

Is anyone out there?

Hello?

Oh!
Hello.

Hello?
Somebody in there?

Yeah, it's Angela.
(chuckling)

Oh. Oh, God, Ron.

(sighs)

Ron, I'm so sorry.
I lost your kids.

(sobbing): I... I don't even
know what happened.

I just play it over and over
in my head and... oh, God,

I'm so sorry.

Oh, Angela, baby.

(chuckling):
Oh.

Oh, as much as I would love
to let you

keep enjoying this hug,
I-I got to tell you...

I got to tell you
I got it under control.

Okay? The kids are safe.

(gasps)
How did you find them?

Well, when you've
been a dad

for as many years as I have,

you develop a certain
fatherly instinct.

ROBBY:
Ron! Watch me
luge off the roof!

Whoa, whoa!
Stop right there, cowboy!

Let me get the camcorder.