All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.All.Stars.S08E04.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

- Previously on "All Stars"...

- You can't send me home.

- I will never, if you promise
that if I'm ever in the bottom

that you won't send me home.

- You can call it an alliance,

but it's making a pact of like,
girl, I have you, you have you,

you have me,
and we have each other.

- For this week's
maxi challenge,

we are throwing ourselves
a supermarket ball.

- I don't sew because I'm not
Amish and I have good credit.

- Do you think we're all going
to just stick

to the track record
all the way through?

- It's track record as well as
taking it all into the whole

and what was presented tonight.

- Bitch, ain't nobody safe.

- Jessica Wild, tonight you
were very, very creative.

- Thank you.

- Mrs. Kasha Davis.

- This is definitely
a birthday party

that I would not have eaten
any of the cake, girl.

- Darienne Lake.

It didn't quite connect
for a succinct message.

Darienne Lake,
Mrs. Kasha Davis...

I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are the bottom two
All Stars of the week.

Jessica Wild, condragulations,

you are top All Star
of the week.

- Ay, no puedo creerlo.

- It's time to present this
week's lip-sync assassin.

Jessica Wild, you're
a winner, baby.

Those coconuts have earned
you a cash tip

of $30,000.

Yeah.

- Which queen have you
chosen to get the chop?

- Kasha.

- Mrs. Kasha Davis,
you're leaving us tonight,

but the fame games
have just begun.

Now, sashay away.

Baby.

- Girl, what a ball.
- Girl, what a day.

Fuck the ball.
What a day.

- The ball is over!

- Ay, I'm the winner.

I won.

And, bitch, I got $30,000.

Jessica Wild has
still got it, baby.

"Look in your eyes
and say 'I love you' daily.

Love you all, Ms. Kasha."

Aw.

- It was a difficult decision.

But the critiques,
she got the hardest.

Plus, Darienne, you were
fighting again, fighting.

And I'm going to tell
you, like, Kasha told me,

"I want to go home with
my dog, with my family."

- I have a loving
husband and a dog

and a family to go home to.

So Mrs. Kasha Davis always
makes lemonade out of lemons.

- I am not going to
say I'm, like, shocked.

These are some fierce-ass
competitors

that really want to win.

- We love you, Kasha.
- Bye.

- Kasha, we love you.

- And if you're not fighting
for it, girl, move over.

Make room for the next bitch.

- Well, let's count
these votes, honey.

- Yeah.

Okay. All right.

All right.
Darienne.

One for Kasha.

Two for Darienne.

Three for Darienne.

Two for Kasha.
Three for Kasha.

Four.

Shit.

- Kasha.

- It's four, five.
- Four to five.

Wow.

- So I'm going to assume one
of those of you is from Kasha.

And there are three girls
here that voted for Darienne,

so who was it, bitches?

- I did.
- Me.

Based on track record.
It was nothing personal.

- I was doing track record.

- I have to really solidify my
position in this competition.

It just puts a lot of pressure,

because it's like I'm
walking on very thin ice.

I am definitely on shaky ground.

I feel like a fat kid
on a wicker couch.

- Think of it as the drag gods
smiling down upon you

and giving you another chance.
- Yes.

- I know that's right.
- Absolutely.

- I have a question.

Are you really happy that I won,

or you want to tell me
something?

My God, no.

- I ask because at
one point when I came in...

Yeah.

I mean, there were some
sour faces in "Untucked."

My God, Jessica!

- Heidi, what's going on?
I can sense you are upset.

- Just because I'm quiet
doesn't mean I'm upset.

I was shocked
that you won, but, girl,

either which way, it's your
moment, and you deserve it.

- I really, really,
really wanted it,

and I was upset I didn't
get it, but you deserved it.

- Thank you so much.

- I'm very happy that you won.

Did I necessarily think
you were going to win?

No.

But I'm so happy that you did,
because you did work hard.

You put your best foot forward
and the judges saw that.

And I do want to
say congratulations, mama.

- Thank you so much.

- I can't lie, I am a little
bit upset, because I feel

like I'm giving the judges
what they want, honey,

but I haven't won a challenge
as of yet.

However, I'ma just have
to suck that shit up,

honey, and keep pushing.

- What's going on?

- It's just the feeling of...

they're not seeing me.

- In "Untucked," bitch,
you were over it.

- Yeah, I contemplated
getting up and leaving.

- I just don't like to
see you get like that.

- Absolutely.

- I understand
it's a competition.

They all want to win.

But whatever they are going
through, deal with it.

Because I'm going further,
and I'm going to win.

I'm in a fight mode.

Ay.

I'm like an animal in
the jungle ready to attack.

And I'm going to
send everybody home...

The winner of "RuPaul's
Drag Race All Stars"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

a coveted spot in
the "Drag Race" Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $200,000,

with extra-special guest judge
Maude Apatow.

- Yes.

- It is a new week baby,
and I am determined

to get my first win.

I'm about to slay these hos.

I want to get these girls
with the hymen, honey.

The fashion.

You know in the sports,
when the football player,

they hit them, the hymen.

The Heisman!

My God.
Wait.

The Heisman.
The stiff arm.

I had not realized I said hymen.

My God, Heidi.

Justice for Kasha.
- And you know what?

It felt so good tonight

to not be the worst look
and to see...

I was like, bitch, she
didn't learn from me, bitch?

- I know Jessica won the green,

but I wanted to make
it rain on you bitches.

- Make it rain.

- Get them leaves
out of my face.

- She done already
done had herses.

- Hey, All Stars.
- Hi.

- Who says there's
nothing to watch?

You can watch your mouth.

- You can watch that attitude.

And you better watch your back,

because while you've got
your eyes on the prize,

somebody else is watching you.

Jesus.

- What?

- Girl, somebody's
been spying on us!

- My goodness.
- Hello, hello, hello.

Hi.

- Look at this outfit.
- Absolutely.

- Looking like a pimp today.
- My.

- Well, it's because there's
a bunch of hos up in here.

Ladykins, you know, we are
living in the new golden age

of television.

A time for stretching
boundaries and probing

new subject matter.

- But when it comes to
stretching and probing,

nobody does it better
than a drag queen.

So, for this week's
maxi challenge,

you need to create trailers

for a sickening scripted series

starring you.

- This is gonna be fun, okay.

- Think of it as a commercial
for your show.

You can choose any genre...

Sitcom, soap, or sci-fi.

Just make sure it's must-she TV.

- Yeah.

- #AllStars8.

Before you get started,
I want you

to say hello to some
true television pioneers.

Pit Crew.

- Ay, ay, ay.

- Come on, Manscaped.

- To randomly divide
you into three teams,

you need to grab a balloon and
pop it against the Pit Crew.

My God.

Yes, honey.

- The color of the
confetti inside the balloon

will determine
which team you join.

Yes, darling, it's
a thoroughly democratic way...

- Yes.
- To choose teams.

- Y'all ready to
pop some balloons?

Let's do it.

Starting with LaLa Ri.

So, LaLa Ri, come over
here and get your balloon.

Let me get a big one.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Now, are you going to give,
or are you going to receive?

- I am going to receive.

- What made you decide
you were going to receive?

- I mean, look...

The Lord said ask,
and you shall receive,

and I'm going to
follow His orders, okay?

Go slow.

I'm not gonna turn down
the Lord's blessings.

Not me.

My God.

- Lord have mercy.

- What color is
that mess you made?

- This is a green.

- Okay.
You are on the green team.

- Thank you so much.

- Kahanna Montrese.
- I'm going to receive.

- You're going to receive?
- Yes.

- Okay.

- Okay, I've never
done this before.

Liar.

My God.

- I got green, too.

- Two greens.
Come on over.

Up next, Kandy Muse.

- Usually I give, but for
Bruno, I'm gonna receive.

- Bruno, just keep in mind,
that's nature's candy.

- I got purple.

- Okay, now, Darienne...

- Well, like Christmas,

I always feel it's
better to give than receive.

- Assume the position.

- Give it some resistance.

No.

I blew all over the place.

My God.

- Heidi N Closet.

- I came here for
new experiences,

so I'm going to receive.

I'm just a very open person.

I'm a Christian woman, I swear.

- She got green.

Medic.

Hi, Jessica.

- Yo quiero recibir.

I'm ready, papi.

- Bruno, can you brace
her on the other side.

For safety.

What color did you get?

- Purple.

- All right, so go ahead
and join the purple.

Jaymes.

- All right, now, I'm
startled by loud noises.

So, if you want to hold me by
my throat, that'd be great.

It's like when I saw a
Great Dane hump a chihuahua.

- It's blue.
- Blue?

- Welcome.
We're the blue girls.

- Alexis Michelle.
Let him have it.

- Come on, blouse.

- Blue.

- It's a boy!

- Up next, Jimbo.
- Okay.

And they're gonna pop it?

- Actually, that's
not an option.

- Can he punch me
in the back of the head?

My.

Jimbo.

What color was that?

- Purple.
- Okay.

So, LaLa Ri, Kahanna Montrese,
and Heidi N Closet,

you are team number one.
- Yes.

- Darienne Lake,
Jaymes Mansfield,

and Alexis Michelle,
you're team number two.

Kandy Muse, Jessica Wild,
and Jimbo,

you're team number three.

Yeah.

- Now, later today,
you'll be shooting

your TV trailer with the help

of Emmy-award winner
Michelle Visage.

And one more thing...

I want each group to create
key art for your series.

A single image that
sells your show.

It's called marketing, darlings.

Learn it and learn it well.

- Yes, mother.
- All right.

- All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yay.

- Yes, we make our own trailer.
- I'm excited.

- I'm excited for this.

Today's maxi challenge,
we'll be creating

and starring in
sickening trailers

for a new television series.

- Are we going to do,
like, sitcom,

like, soap opera
or horror, drama?

- I feel like we can go many
different directions with it.

We just got to narrow down
an idea that we all agree on.

It's a little awkward being
in a group with Darienne,

considering I voted
for her twice.

I don't really know where
her head is at right now,

but if she's not bringing
it up, I won't either.

- One of the ideas that
I thought would be, like, fun

is, I used to love
the show "Lost."

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- And on the show,
there was, like,

The Others on the other
side of the island,

who were sort of terrorizing
the people who were stranded.

Maybe the other people,
you're like,

wait a second, you kind of look
like Amy Winehouse

or Princess Diana or
Betty White or Marilyn Monroe.

- Dead celebrities.
- Yeah.

- We think they think
faked their deaths?

- They faked their deaths
to go to this island.

- I like that.

- They're like, you
can't leave the island

because you let everybody
know we're still alive.

A lot's riding on me to
do well in this challenge,

because, I mean, a lot of these
girls have pulled my lipstick.

So I have to really stand out

and prove that I'm also
a force in this competition.

Nothing like getting your
face bashed in

by, like, Marilyn Monroe
or somebody.

She's like, you can't leave.
You know?

Wow.

- It's time
to release the kraken.

- My only concern
about this concept

is that it feels just, like,
a little bit complicated,

convoluted,
and I worry about getting

the point across quickly.
- Okay.

- I don't know. I think
your "Lost" idea has some legs.

And we can do it in
a conceivable amount of time.

We just have to
fill up the scenes.

Yeah.

- I can't say that
I love this idea,

but I trust Darienne and Jaymes,

because both these girls
can bring the comedy.

So, if they think that
we should go this way,

then I'm just going
to run with it.

- Did you have an idea?

- I was thinking of a horror,
like, a scary comedy situation.

Like, maybe we're,
like, in a hair salon

and there's a killer on the
loose or something like that.

- Well, child, we all Black,
so which one gonna die first?

- That's the question.
- Right.

- The key to acing
this challenge

is, one, always be funny... duh.

And, two, the concept needs to
be clear and not convoluted.

So just make it make sense
and make it funny.

Those are literally
the only two things

we really need to do.

I had an idea.
- Okay.

- And it was about
a queen possibly

being almost kidnapped...

Okay.

- By two idiots...

- Yes.
- Okay.

- Who just can't quite get her,

mainly because they're stupid.
- Okay.

- That kind of vibe.
- I like that idea.

- You like that?
- I like that.

I think that would be
a fun one to do.

- Good, good, good.

- So who wants to be the
kidnapped-ed queen, honey?

- I think that'll be fun for me.

- That would be cute.

And then we're
the bumbling fools.

- Yeah, we'll be...
- Okay.

- It works.
- Typecasting, okay.

- Maybe the way I get out
of the captured scene

is I take off my tucking panty

and make y'all smell it...

and y'all just pass out.

- My character is
a sickening beautiful queen,

but I can't just rely
on how gorgeous I am.

I need to deliver the comedy.

- We can make this work.
Let's do it. Okay.

You're going to knock
it out the park, baby.

You're going to knock
it out the park.

- So, for our concept,
what were we thinking?

- We're doing a horror.
- So horror thriller moment.

I feel really good
because Jimbo and Jessica

already have a win
under their belt

and these are some
of the two funniest bitches

in the competition.

So us three together, baby,
it's going to be chaos.

- Okay, so what if it's, like,
three girls in high school.

There's two besties.

One girl really wants to be
in with the group,

and they basically, like,
torture her.

- So she goes crazy
and just, like,

then becomes, like,
the murderer?

- She's kind of like Carrie.

You know, like, she gets mad
and kill everybody at the end.

- Yeah, kind of like Carrie.

- I don't think
we should do that.

It's a spoof, and
they're going to be like,

why didn't you come up
with your own original idea?

- The only thing
about using a spoof

is we'll already know our beats,

and we have
such a short amount of time.

- That's true.

- I just think they react
better to original ideas

than "spoofes"... spoofs.

This is an idea.

What if we make

one of the Pit Crew members
the killer, right?

- One of us has
to be the killer.

- I don't think so.

- But we're the ones in it.

Like, we have to do the acting.

- Yeah.
- It's up to us.

- Yes, but we also
have the Pit Crew.

In season 13, I had
the Pit Crew in my scenes.

- I just don't want to
give a key role to them,

because they're not competing.
- Well, it's not a key role.

- The murderer is the key role.

- Jimbo and Kandy, they like,
I want to do this,

and Kandy...
No, I want to do this.

And I'm like, por favor.

Can you both make a decision?
The time is running.

Let's do this.

- So we need to come
up with, like, a story.

- I think we need to do
whatever's the most funny.

I think we need to
worry less about it

making sense and more, like,
what are the punchy visuals.

- No, girl, I'm telling you,
it needs to make sense.

- But you know "Drag Race"
doesn't make sense.

Mama Ru is like,
who fucking cares?

I want to laugh.

So it's like, we
need to be funny.

- No, I get that.

- My impression of Kandy's "no"
is like, no.

- Well, no, because...
- No.

- No, I think it would be...
- No.

- No, no, because
we're going to be...

- She's like, no, bitch.

- No, because remember.
No, but that's not, um...

No, what she means.
No.

Well, no.
No, no, no.

No, we're gonna have to change
clothes anyway, you know?

My God, can we
just put something

down on this fucking paper.

- I don't think
we should do that.

- It doesn't need to make sense.

- It's going to be funny.
- It needs to be funny.

- It's going to be funny,
but it needs to make sense.

Fuck.

I thought we were
the Dream Team, baby.

This team is a nightmare.

- Hello, queens.
- Hi.

- How are you kids?
- Good, good.

- We're excited.

- We are about to start
shooting our trailer

with Michelle Visage.

And, baby, I am nervous,

because I just know

Michelle's not going to be
holding back with us.

- What kind of show is this?

- It's like a comedic
high-school horror.

- Sounds
like Ryan Murphy kind of.

- Sure.
- Almost as gay.

- Tiny bit.

- As a group, we had a hard
time writing our trailer.

There was a lot of
cooks in the kitchen.

But we discovered that
one thing we can agree on

is that we're all just
a little bit naughty...

Un petit peu.

And we are ready to
have a good time.

- Is this just
Kandy in this scene?

- Yeah. I'm supposed to be,
like, making out

with, like, the boy.

- What's this hand doing?
- I'm gay.

Same.

So you want to fake out
with Bryce.

- How do you fake out?

- I would put your hands,
like, behind her, like...

That looked very
realistic, the two of you.

Did it?

- Absolutely not.

All right, let's try it.

This backpack is so hot.

Cut.

We're good.

Okay, moving on.

- I'm going to be like, Bruno,
I am getting ready for you.

- And then I pop up
from behind here.

My God, they're...

Are we allowed to do that?

- It's too much, this?

- Sticking it under your dress.

You don't need that.

I feel like I'm watching a porn.

- Yeah.

You want me better like this?
- Um...

- But you keep...
- No.

- No?

- Mira, sucia.

- Maybe make a face
like it's hurting you,

like she's using teeth, like...

- I was like, get off me.
You're on my dick.

Okay.

- How about you're on my balls?
- Um...

I guess I didn't realize
how raunchy we were.

If we are taking it
too far for Michelle, girl,

I think we might be in trouble.

Fuck.

- This is the big reveal.

Do you have your lipstick?
- Yeah.

Should I pluck it off her body?

- I don't know if I'd pull
it out of her asshole.

- Not her vagina, Jimbo.

Here we go.

- Who's a pretty
little girl now?

- I think Michelle seemed
a little bit embarrassed

by what we're doing.

But I'm not worried.

The worst thing you want to
do is to not take chances

and to not go too far.

Drag is not comfortable
all the time.

And so I think it's good
to test the boundaries.

- We're going to get
canceled for this shit.

Hi, queens.
- Hi.

You're gorgeous.

I've never seen you look
better, as a matter of fact.

What is the name
of your TV show?

"Run, Queen, Run"!

- Ooh, that sounds like fun.

So let's do scene one.

- Ooh, ooh, we got to get
them panties.

- Bitch, we needs
them panties, Rella.

- Cut.

You kids are out your
damn minds back there.

- Whee.

- And, LaLa, let me hear
the voice you're doing.

Bitch,
we need the panties, Rella.

- Why are you Fat Albert?

- What you think?

- Ooh, touch it,
touch it, touch it.

- Focus, bitch.
- Cut.

She says, touch it.

Touch what?

I'm sitting here not paying
attention to the mission.

I'm, like, just trying to shove
my hand into my mouth.

- You're gross.
- A little bit, yeah.

- Action.

- Well, girl, what you think?

- Ooh, touch it,
touch it, touch it.

- Focus, bitch.

- Cut.
You are so nasty.

- And I touched it, too, really.

- You touched it, girl.
I felt it.

You did.

- My teammates

are going "balls to the wall"
wild, honey.

The comedy is just
through the roof.

So I need to make sure
that I shine through

just as well as them.

- Action.

- You just can't sniff 'em.

You got to wear them
for your panties to activate.

- Cut.
You can't just sniff them.

You got to wear them
for the powers to activate.

- Okay. Okay.
- And don't lose the energy.

- It's always better to do more
and be asked to bring it back.

- Got it.
- And action.

- You just can't wear 'em.

I'm so sorry.
- That's all right.

And action.

- You cannot just
sniff the panties.

You got to wear them, too.

- Let's cut.

- Ooh, Lord.

- Last time!

I've had it!

- You just can't sniff them.

You got to wear 'em for
the powers to activate.

- And cut.
Kahanna, yes.

You got the lines right.
Good.

- Okay, girl, I got it.
I got it. I got it. I'm good.

- Tune in this fall
to "Run, Queen, Run,"

starring these busted
ass hos Heidi N Closet,

LaLa Ri, and Kahanna Montrese.

Look at these idiots.

Okay, so tell me your series.
What's it called?

- "Get Off Island."

- Ooh, a place that
I'd like to visit.

- Absolutely.
- Yes.

- What kind of show is it?

- Three girls get
shipwrecked on an island.

They find out
some mysterious secrets,

that there are other people
on this island.

- "Dead" celebrities who want
their secret to stay a secret.

- "Lost"
meets "Death Becomes Her."

- Very that.

- My idea for our concept
is a fantasy thriller.

There are so many
twists and turns

that you can do with a thriller.

So it's an opportunity
to do something unexpected.

It's a risk, but I need a win.

So I have to shoot
for the stars.

- So this is kind of
the intro to the first...

- This is like the first scene.
They're on the booze cruise.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- And action.

Captain, why
don't you come and show me

how you raise your masthead?

Ooh.
- Cut.

So it should be raise your
mast, not your masthead.

- Raise your mast.
- Yeah.

- I just love the head.
- I hear you.

Action.

Cut.

Do we crash?

Yeah.

- Are we going to
show you crash?

- In post.
In post.

- In post.
- Okay.

- Good old post.

- Next scene.

- Skipper, you dummy.

You go and cruise in the park.
- Cut.

Jaymes, we want to hear your
lines, so don't garble it.

- Okay.

- Better with
the enunciation, Jaymes.

- Okay.

Skipper, you dummy.
You only cruise in the park.

- And cut.

Okay.

- Michelle is
sitting there stoic.

Every once in a while,
you'll see a.

- It's like, you know when
a coma victim coughs?

It's like that.

- How do you feel, ladies?

- I feel like a costume change.
- Well, then it's time.

- Agnes Moorehead?

- Yes, you halfwit.

And you can't build
a raft out of jewels.

- Okay, ladies,
I think that was it.

That's a wrap on you guys.

- Thank you, Michelle.
- Yay!

- I honestly don't
know how to feel,

because Michelle, she's
got that frozen face, just...

But you know what?
She might have just got Botox.

It's fine.

Mwah.
I smell an Emmy.

- I smell something.

Yes.

- Ooh.

- Every day.

- Hey, there, it is Runway Day,
and we about to see ass,

ass, ass everywhere.

- Ooh.
- Can you feel the beat?

My God, it's so
much life in there.

- Can you feel the beat?

'Cause the runway category is...

Ass The World Turns...

darling.

- Okay, ladies, let's use
Canva to work on our poster.

- Okay.
- All right, girl.

- I look real good.
- What are we feeling?

- So the first
thing we have to do

is come up with our background.

- I think something stagey
with lights, honey.

That's cute.

- Overall, I feel like my team
did pretty good

filming our trailers yesterday.

But, child, you never know
what's going to happen,

so I'm always nervous
going on the runway.

I ain't gonna even
lie to you, baby.

Look how beautiful.

- I'm excited.

- Girl, do you think there's
any other groups in trouble?

- I don't know.

We don't know how they're
judging everything.

- Right.
- They could be judging teams.

- Right.
- Could be judged individually.

If one of us end up
somehow in the bottom,

we would probably, like, want
to save them, right?

- Yeah. Absolutely.
Absolutely.

- What you going to say?
- Damn it!

What you going to say?

- Yesterday went great.
It really did.

- I did, too.
I thought it went well.

- I feel like any sort of cues
that we were given...

- Any notes we took, and
we were happy to take them.

We didn't shoot down
any of her ideas.

- Right.

- But Michelle's keeping
her poker face real strong.

- She definitely had
a strong poker face.

Michelle didn't express
any outright concerns

about our trailer,

but I didn't see a lot
of expression

or laughter from her,
just like a little.

So I'm a little nervous...
I'm not gonna lie.

- Jimbo, I heard about the girls

thinking you're big competition.

So I would not be surprised

that if you ever down there
in the bottom,

they would get rid of you.

- That's my worst fear.

Are you thinking,
if you end up in the bottom,

they'll get rid of you?

- Honestly, yes.

I don't know. I think these
girls are willing to get rid

of their biggest competition,
and I feel like...

No, no, yeah,
nobody's safe here.

- Let's just say one of
us ends up in the bottom.

- We going to
protect each other.

- I'm not going to
vote for my team.

- I'm not going to
vote for my teammates.

- Yes.

- I think it was meant to
happen, like this team.

- Yeah, it was meant to be.
- I love it.

- Alexis, how was your team?

How do you feel about it?
- We worked well together.

- Was there anyone that
was weak in your team?

- Um...

It's hard to say, but
I don't think it was me.

- I love that answer.

Yeah.

- I feel like she's, like,
coasting by so far.

You can call me an influencer.

I don't think
I could show the girls.

I think I just influence
the girls, you know.

I'm trying to plant seeds
here and there

to keep everybody's eyes
off of me.

- How you feeling, mama?

- I feel good, girl.

I told myself when
I was coming here,

I was going to have
fun every chance I got.

- This time I'm coming in here

trying to have fun
the entire time.

- Yes, honey, the entire time.
- So here we are, honey.

- Well, Heidi, how
you feeling now?

Because I know last week, you
were feeling over it, bitch.

- It's just the feeling of,
they're not seeing me.

I contemplated getting
up and leaving.

- I just don't like to
see you get like that.

- Absolutely.

I think at that moment in time,

it was a lot, a lot of emotions
and frustration,

and we all get
flustered sometimes.

It's natural human reaction.

Sometimes you just got to take
a second, get some sleep,

and recalibrate.

I'm flustered at
the moment by Kandy,

because I'm in this alliance
with Jimbo and Kandy

and we're supposed to be
watching each other's backs.

But now Kandy's
bringing up my struggles

in front of everybody.

And that puts a target on me.

These hos are just vipers
just looking for any reason

to send another girl home.

Just because I had a moment
of, like, being upset

doesn't take away anything
of what I bring to the table.

It doesn't take away that I'm
actually a very nice person

to every last person in here...
- Yeah.

- Even if they want
to make other girls look bad.

And I'm like, okay, baby, y'all
want to play this game, baby,

I'll spill all
your motherfucking tea

out here, baby.

I'll spill all the tea
that's behind the scenes.

Kandy has confided in me
outside this work room.

And some of the things she
said aren't the type of thing

that would...

let's say fly,
let's just say fly

if everyone else knew about it.

There's some things off camera
that have been said, baby,

that have real shady,
and they're kiki-ing together.

Baby, a lot of these
girls are gonna

end up hating each other if I
say something I need to say.

- Well, let it out.
- Bitch.

I have tea that will burn
this competition down.

This will go from best friend
race to enemy race real fast.

- I want to know this
tea that you have.

- No, no.
- No, no.

You gonna wait
for the right time.

- I'll have to stick around
for it to come out.

- Baby, that cack-a-lacky
in here.

- Baby, North Carolina
don't play, baby.

- Welcome to the main stage of
"RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars."

You take the good, you take
the bad, you take them both,

and there you have
Michelle Visage.

- What you talking
about, RuPaul?

Who could turn the world on
with her smile?

It's Ts Madison.

You've got spunk, Ru.

- I hate spunk.

That's not what I hear.

And then there's Maude Apatow.

Hi-eeh.

- God'll get you for that, Ru.

- Dy-no-mite.

- But I'm so excited to be here.

- We are so excited
to have you here.

This week we
challenged our queens

to write, produce, and star

in their own TV show trailers.

And tonight on the runway,

category is Ass The World Turns.

All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- Category is
Ass The World Turns.

Up first, Jaymes Mansfield.

- Ooh, child, the Aztec
fem-pire is still going strong.

- I hear she's caught up
in some pyramid scheme.

- I wanted to take a moment

to honor my Mexican
and Indigenous culture,

as well as wear something
that's a bit different for me.

There is no kitsch and camp.

The only camp about me
is this big, giant ass.

Okay, you can pitch
a tent with it.

- You call it corn,
we call it a big fat ass.

- It's a-maize-ing.

Darienne Lake.

Ooh.

- This look is very gartered.

- Garter?
- I don't even know her.

- It's a whole new Darienne,
and she's coming out here

like a shiny new copper penny.

- She's from the Badonka Bronx.

- And this ass is all mine.

Ooh, slut drop.

We've heard of Boobarella.

- But how about Butterella?
- Butterella?

Ooh, I like that.

Starring Reba McEntire.

Alexis Michelle.

- This look is so me.

I am all about elegance,
femininity,

glamour, beauty.

- The blushing bride...
Isn't she lovely?

- So innocent, Ru.
- And so demure.

Speak now,
or forever hold your...

Ooh, piece of ass.
- Ooh!

- What's a wedding without cake?

- The official wedding gown
of Christopher Street.

- You may rim the bride.

She got hers, now he'll get his.

- Hey.

- Kandy Muse.

Goodness.

Let's go to a pumping party.

- Baby, I am an anime

sex-doll dream come to life.

I got my inflatable ponytails,
my inflatable titties.

But look at this inflatable ass.

Ooh, you can't take.

- Apparently she
has an inflated ego

and an ass to match.

- Ass in plastic,
it's fantastic.

- In case of emergency,

this bitch is an entire
flotation device, honey.

- Jessica Wild.

- I'm wearing this
glamorous black hair,

feeling Material Girl.

And I'm serving ass, baby.

This is the original apple ass.

Un besito.

- Read her lips.

Several sets.

- Escándalo.

J.Lo, move away, because
Jessica Wild is here.

Let me just get this.

Say yass to the ass.

- Baby, it's all
about the booty...

The apple booty.

- Jimbo.

Baby got back problems.

- Today's runway theme
is all about that ass.

I've got my ponytail
swishing down my back.

And I turn around
to reveal my titty butt.

You better twerk.

- I've got tits on the front
and tits on the back.

I am serving body,
beauty, and booty.

- I thought she was from Canada,

but I think she's
from Silicon Valley.

- Fun in the front and
business in the back.

Heidi N Closet.

What an ass.

- My runway is basically
if Eeyore was a stripper.

She is in her little skirt
that tears off.

She got her panties on.

- When does
the donkey show start?

- Okay.

- She got her little bralette
so her "breasteses"

can breathe, honey.

She even got a belly-button
ring in, honey, yes.

And I'm living for it, baby.

Details, the donkey details.

- I'll see your ass
in the Hundred Acre Woods.

Where's Winnie the Pooh
and Tigger now?

- Kahanna Montrese.

Ru, we finally
found our syringe.

- Yes.

- Today's runway I'm serving
to you my doctor pumps.

I'm giving you
a full latex experience.

Yes. And did you catch
the syringe?

It is filled up with all the
silicone a girl could need.

Ten CCs, please.

- You get silicone,
you get silicone,

and you get silicone.

Silicone for everyone.

- You heard of Doctor Zizmor.

- Is this Doctor Assmore?
- Yes, honey.

LaLa Ri.

- Today I'll give you
a red two-piece suit.

Business in front...

You don't see that
cut in the front?

That cut is nasty.

You turn around, chains
and ass everywhere.

- Party in the front,
whore in the back.

My goodness.

- I wanted to represent

for the little-booty
community, okay?

'Cause little booties
matter, too.

So I have my little chocolate
Little Debbie cupcakes

just jiggling around
on these people's runway,

on these
people's cameras, honey.

- This is the LaLa Ri
experience rebooted.

- I think you "rebootied."

Welcome, queens.

Let's take a look
at the world debut

of your television series
trailers.

First up, Jaymes Mansfield,
Darienne Lake,

and Alexis Michelle.

- Coming all over
your screen this fall,

three good time gals crashed
the party and a ship.

Captain, why don't you show me

how you raise your mast?

- But wait, who's
driving the ship?

It's in cruise control, duh.

- Skipper, you dummy.

You only cruise in the park.

- These girls are
used to easy living,

but can they handle island life?

- We've been shipwrecked.

- The girls will soon
discover this island

is sitting on a secret.

My God, look, diamonds.

I wonder what a girl
had to do to get these?

- And the engraving
says "from JFK."

- They're from the airport?

- Or the president.

Obama.

- Hey, there, mama.

Thank you, thank you very much.

- What a dump.

- I want to be alone.

- Did you hear that?
- The ocean? Yeah.

- No, voices.

And I think those are
the voices of...

dead celebrities!

- I don't think
we're alone here.

- Helping to build
a raft is fun.

Look, more jewels.

You look like Marilyn Monroe.

- I am Marilyn Monroe,
and those are mine.

Ooh.

- Agnes Moorehead?

- Yes, you halfwit.

And you can't make a raft
out of jewels.

That hollow head of yours,
though, that'll float.

- You're not going
to leave at all.

You'll tell the paparazzi where
we've been all these years.

Ooh.

And we can't have that.

- Watch "Get Off Island,"

starring Alexis Michelle...

- We have to make
it to the beach.

I hope it's a nude beach.

- Darienne Lake...

- But I didn't pack
any tanning oil.

- And Jaymes Mansfield.

- I wish you dummies
packed sneakers.

All we have are high heels.

- Sometimes to survive,
you have to get off.

- Tragic ending.
- Cliffhanger, for sure.

- Next up, Kandy Muse,
Jessica Wild,

and Jimbo.

- This semester, join two BFFs.

Sorry.

Join three BFFs

as they fight to make it
out of high school alive.

- Fucking loser.

- Tiffany is the most
popular girl in school.

And Vanessa is her
devoted bestie.

Vanessa, are you going
to Bruno's party tonight?

- Of course, Tiffany.

And I might get
my cherry popped tonight.

- And when
the new girl shows up...

- Cool. A party?

Can I come?

- Will three be a crowd?

- Over my dead body.

- Hey, that was my lunch.

- Booger.

- No, my glasses.

- But when their
new BFF is driven

to the brink of insanity...

- She'll do anything to fit in.

- Wow.

Guys, I found the party.

- You loser.
You made the boys run away!

- I didn't...
I was just trying to...

No. Aah!

- We don't like you.

Go shave your mustache.
- My...

We don't like you.

Over my dead body.

- Watch "Best Friends 4 Never,"

starring Jessica Wild
as Vanessa.

- Bruno, I'm getting
ready for you.

Bruno, I'm not ready.

Bruno's not coming!

- And Kandy Muse as Tiffany.

Get off of me.

You're crushing my tuck.

- And Jimbo as Muffy.

- Who's a pretty
little girl now?

- High school can be tough.

But with a murderer
on the loose,

this year could be killer.

- Wow.

- Next, Heidi N Closet,

Kahanna Montrese, and LaLa Ri.

- This fall, join Honeysickle...

The most glamorous crown jewel
of Back Swamp Nightclub

as she avoids captivity...

from two bumbling fools,

Punchanella..

And Snatcharella.

- I am so glamorous,

and I win everything
I compete in.

If they only knew
my secret power

came from these tucking panties.

- Ooh.

We gonna get them panties.

- Bitch, we need
them panties, Rella.

If we took a right
on Stacey Lane,

and then we go nasty left

on Monica Beverly Hills
Boulevard,

we'll get her.

What you think?

- Ooh, touch it, boss.
Touch it.

- Bitch!

- Can these two
idiots outmaneuver

the delicatessen
that is Honeysickle

and get those tucking panties?

- One, two, three.
- I got her.

- I got her, I got her,
I got her.

I ain't got her.

- Or will they find themselves
tucked away?

- Ooh, we're so close.

- Grab 'em.

- Smell 'em, smell 'em.
- Ooh.

- Damn!

- My tucking panties!

- Tune in this fall
to "Run, Queen, Run,"

starring these busted-ass hos,

Heidi N Closet,
LaLa Ri, and Kahanna Montrese.

- Bitches, you just
can't sniff 'em.

You got to wear 'em
for the powers to activate.

Dumb and ugly.

- Hey, I'm beautiful.

- Shut up, boss.

- A queen-napper
like never before.

Sneaking on
to your TV this fall.

Ladykins, this week
you competed as teams,

and tonight you'll
be judged as teams.

Based on your TV trailers
and your runway presentations,

I've made some decisions.

Team "Run, Queen, Run"...

ladies, you are safe.

Thank God.

- You may leave the stage.

- Thank you.
- Good luck, ladies.

- Thank you.
- Good luck, ladies.

- Ladies, you represent the tops

and the bottoms of the week.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.

Up first, Jaymes Mansfield.

- Hi, honey.

- So you were Anita Study,
the smart one.

My favorite thing that you did
was the Marilyn with the "ooh."

- Ooh.

- I thought that was just so
silly, and it's what you do.

The issue for me was
I didn't really laugh.

Everybody in your group

was so professional and so good
and got the job done.

Funny?
Not really.

Can't lie.

This look is fun.

I think you really took
the ass thing all the way.

- Honey, when you hit the
corner with this outfit on,

I said "asstounding."

- Obviously, you look
gorgeous tonight.

And you really went all the way
with the ass, and it's amazing.

- Turn around.
Let me see that ass, girl.

Ooh.

- Whose couch did you
take that ass from?

- It's actually
my grandmother's couch.

She left it to me in her will.

Up next, dip into
the cool, refreshing waters

of Darienne Lake.
- Sploosh.

- You really stood out
to me in the challenge.

I thought you were super funny,

and you had
so many great moments.

- Especially
the moment of "Obama."

Obama.

- But I did want to laugh
a lot more,

because I know
you can make me laugh a lot.

- Yeah.

- This is one of
the most beautiful looks

I've ever seen on you.

Darienne Lake is
wearing leg garters.

Like, what world
are we living in?

- No fucking idea.

- This is just really,
really beautiful.

- That bronze with
that red, copper hair...

Fabulous.

Up next, Alexis Michelle.

- This is my favorite look
of the night.

It's so gorgeous.

You look amazing.

- I love the way that you
conceptualized everything

on the dress

and the way that the veil
is right above the ass.

And, baby, you was
ass out, honey.

You know?

- You guys chose to do the sort
of "Lost" thing,

which already in itself
is very confusing.

Your sketch was pleasant.

It wasn't the laugh riot

that I know
that you kids can deliver.

- I have to apologize

because I did not come up
with the concept for this.

And I wanted to...
- Who came up with the concept?

- Ultimately,
it was Darienne's idea.

- Why didn't you take
the initiative

to be assertive in it?

You know, because
you guys are a group.

- I think I froze a little.

That's why I'm very sorry
and disappointed in myself.

- Darienne, any rebuttal
on your concept?

- You know, everything
really has been done,

whether it's a "Heathers"
spoof or something.

I really wanted
to do a thriller.

And, I mean...

like, I feel like
I'm the only one defending

our sketch up here,
but I feel good about it.

- I just thought that
the concept didn't live up

to what your potential was.

- Okay.
- So, yeah.

- Up next from the Bra-zonx,

Kandy Muse.

- Kandy, you embodied
your character.

You gave me a mean girl,
"Jawbreaker," Tiffany.

You know that?

- You're so effortlessly
funny all the time,

and your character
was really strong

and really made me laugh.

- What y'all did was very smart.

We knew the concept.

It's "Mean Girls" meets "Carrie"

meets "Scream Queens," right?

So then you got to play
and be yourself,

and that's funny.

It's like, I'm here for that.

I want to see more of that.

Well done.

- This is very
futuristic kind of anime,

but it's different for you,
and I like that.

- Jessica Wild... bombshell.

- Jessicita.

Well, now,
you were extremely crass,

and y'all's was
extremely filthy.

- So I had to redirect you
from quite a few things.

But it ended up working.

And you were so good.

- Thank you.
- You're so funny.

And I don't know...
It never feels forced.

It's just so fun to watch.

- I could sit back and listen
to you read the dictionary...

- And I would just die
laughing all day.

- I think that we can
breathe a little bit of life

into your skin.

I think it looks a little flat.

So maybe some blush
or maybe some highlighter...

Just a little bit
to bring it up just a little.

- It's because after Kandy,
I'm scared now to wear blush.

- Up next, Jimbo.

Ooh, girl.

- This outfit...

Girl, stop watching
me online, okay?

You done put on this bodysuit,
honey, and turning around,

I thought I was watching me
walk down the runway, girl.

- Yes, daddy.

- Your butt... are those titties
you put on your ass?

- Yes, this is
called a titty butt.

- What is it filled with?

- This one is filled with
cotton because of the size.

- What is it
usually filled with?

- Dicks, of course.

- Of course, duh.

- You and your character
development of Muffy

was so over-the-top dragoon-y,

I could watch you be
that character for hours.

And, like, weirdly, I felt
really bad for Muffy.

Like, she's being bullied,
and I wanted you

to get revenge on your bullies.

And revenge you got.

- Being that committed,
like, that is so hard,

and you did such a great job
the entire time.

Just the little details,

like the lipstick on your
teeth throughout.

Like, it's just so funny.
- You're so smart.

You're so clever.
You're so funny.

It was great,
the three of you together.

It's a show I want to see.

Thank you, ladies.
I think we've heard enough.

Based on the judges' critiques,
I've made some decisions.

Jimbo...

condragulations.

You are the top All Star
of the week.

Yes!

- You've won a cash
prize of $5,000.

- Amazing.
Thank you so much.

- Kandy Muse...

Jessica Wild...

you are safe.

- Thank you.

- Team "Get Off Island,"

Jaymes Mansfield, Darienne Lake,

Alexis Michelle,

I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are the bottom
All Stars of the week.

Thank you, All Stars.
You may leave the stage.

- Well, just like that,
I'm in the bottom.

And I've got my bottom out.

It's certainly not
what I was expecting.

But I'm not going down
with this ship.

- I'm disappointed
that my concept

wasn't well received
by the judges.

But I'm not feeling defeated.

It ain't over
till the less-fat lady sings.

- I've wanted to return
to this competition

for a long time.

And I'm finally back here.

You're going to have to drag me
out of this place.

I'll leave claw marks.
I'm not afraid to do it.

I will damage these floors.

I cannot go home tonight.

- Ooh.

Child, voting is not easy.

- This is hard.
- My God.

- But this is a competition,

and you have to vote a bitch
out to make it to the top.

Mama came to play the game.

- I love you so much.

- Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Baby, I'm about to vote
for my good sister.

But before she get
up out of here,

I'm gonna have to take
this little glitter

on the side right here...
Thank you so much.

- God damn, I've done
this so many times.

Stay gone. Jesus.

- Even though I don't
hold it against Jaymes

for voting for me twice,
I'm returning the favor.

- This competition
is all about strategy

and I've got so many options,
I just don't know what to do.

I may take out
the strongest competition.

I may send home someone
just for the fun of it.

What's a girl to do?

Welcome back.

Jimbo?
- Yeah.

- Are you ready to meet
your opponent?

Let's do this! Yeah!

- It's time to present

this week's lip-sync assassin.

- Shit.
- Looks like she'll eat.

- That's Ginger Minj.
- Who is it?

Ruveal yourself!

- She's tiny.
- Ongina?

- Maybe it's Jiggly.
- Wait, is it Jiggly?

Shannel!

From season one, it is Shannel.

- Awesome.

I am terrified.

I know Shannel is
a fierce performer.

But in my "Drag Race" career,

this is
my fifth lip-sync battle,

and I've never won a lip sync.

And I need to show Ru
that I can do this.

- Shannel is back,
back, back again.

- 14 years, baby, 14.

- And you look amazing.

- I feel so small-breasted
right now.

Join the club.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, Shannel holds
the lipstick of the queen

that the group has
voted to send home.

If Shannel wins the lip sync,

the queen on her lipstick
gets el chop-o.

Jimbo, this is your chance
to impress me,

win $10,000,

and earn the power

to give one
of the bottom queens the chop.

The time has come

for you to lip-synch

for your... legacy!

Good luck,

and don't furke it urp.

- Yes, Shannel!

- Work, bitch.

Bitch, you did it.

- Ladies, I've made my decision.

Shannel, condragulations.

You're a winner, baby.

- God, it feels
good to hear that.

- All Stars, the $10,000

will roll over
to next week's tip.

Jimbo, you are safe
to slay another day.

- Thank you so much.

- You may step
to the back of the stage.

- Thanks for beating me, bitch.

Will the bottom queens
please step forward?

Jaymes, Alexis, Darienne,

whoever gets the chop tonight

will be immediately entered

into the online Fame Games.

Shannel, with great power

comes great responsibility.

Which queen

has the group chosen...

to get the chop?

- The queens have spoken,

and the queen they have chosen
to get the chop...

is...

Darienne.

- As it is written,
so it shall be done.

Darienne Lake, you are

and will always be an All Star.

You're leaving us tonight,

but the Fame Games
have just begun.

Now...

sashay away.

- I love you.
- Thank you.

Going home is definitely
the whirlwind of emotions.

No hard feelings.

Yeah, it's sad that it's over,

but I'm so happy
I got the chance

to be here twice.

I got to show a new layer
of this onion.

There's more to peel off,

If you're lucky.

Sometimes you get
to the end of the road,

but that's your chance
to carve your own new path.

I may not have won this prize,

but I'm determined
to win Queen of the Fame Game.

- Condragulations, All Stars.

And, remember, if you can't
love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna
love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up here?

Amen!

- All right,
now let the music play.

- Next time on "All Stars"...

For this week's maxi challenge,

it's time to play
Snatch Game of Love.

- Yes.
- Okay.

- Let's meet our Snatchelors...

Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers.

- How do you feel
about open relationships?

- My poor mother.

- I'm not even going to sit
here and front with you.

It just was not cute, Heidi.

- You want to
question my integrity?

Really?

- That is wild to me.

Ruveal yourself.

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