All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.All.Stars.S08E02.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

- Previously on "All Stars"...

On this season of "All Stars,"
there's a new twist

that will make this competition
extra-special.

- What?

- I'm too old for surprises.

My heart can't take it, OK?

Just let me know.

- You can't send me home.

- I will never if you promise
that if I'm ever in the bottom

that you won't send me home.

- Heidi, Jimbo, and myself
were on tour before coming

onto this competition.

So automatically we are going
to be really great friends.

- This week we
challenged our all stars

to perform new mixes
of the club classic "Money,

Success, Fame, Glamour."

Kahanna Montrese.

- Your presence was undeniable.

- Thank you.

- Darienne Lake.

- I noticed a few
choreographed things that

might have been uncertain.

- Monica Beverly Hillz.

- I think the issue
for you is, you're nervous.

I could see it,
and I could feel it.

- Darienne Lake, Monica Beverly
Hillz, you are the bottom two

all stars of the week.

Kahanna Montrese,
condragulations,

you are the top all star
of the week.

- Thank you.

- It's time to present this
week's lip sync assassin.

Aja LaBeija,
you're a winner, baby.

The $10,000 will roll
over to next week's tip.

This season there
are two ways to win.

The traditional way
and the second way

gives the eliminated
queens a chance to compete

in the online Fame Game.

In "Untucked" and online,
we'll showcase the runway looks

of all the eliminated queens.

Any additional content
that the eliminated queens

wish to post on their
socials is up to them.

Fans will vote to determine
which one will win

the title Queen of the Fame Game

plus a cash prize of $50,000.

Which queen has the group
chosen to get the chop?

- Monica.

- Monica Beverly Hillz,
sashay away.

Winner, winner, winner.

Jesus.

Miss Monica.

Monica.

- Monica has left us and reality

is setting in that we're about
to start leaving one by one.

It's a domino effect.

So I just hope my domino's more
towards the end of the line

versus the front of the line.

- "Stay true to yourself.

Love you all,
Monica Beverly Hillz."

We love you, Monica.

- That's the cleanest I've
ever seen in that mirror.

- OK, next time I'm gonna
put my butt cheeks on there,

see what it really do.

Tonight was my first
win in "Drag Race,"

and that, girl, is everything.

They see me, you guys.

I'm here.

That lip sync was it.

- You turned that lip sync, sis.

- Thank you.
- The hairography.

- If I had my wallet, I would
have thrown money at you.

- Kahanna, who would you
have picked if you had won?

Wait, do you have
your lipstick on you?

- I do.

This one was really,
really hard for me.

Monica when she walked
in, I was gagged.

I'm like, yes.

But I had to choose her.

And I'm not happy about, like,
having to do that process.

But my win is
because of my team.

And you were a big
part of my win, so...

- Is that like a size joke or?

- If you want it to be.

- I want to know
what's going on.

- What's in that box.

- You should open it.

- I should open it?

- Yeah, do it.

- OK, first vote, Monica.

Second vote, Monica.

- OK.

- Darienne.

- Ooh.

- Monica.

Monica.
Monica.

Monica. Monica.

OK.

Darienne.

- Darienne.

- Darienne.

And the last one.

- Darienne.

- So one, two, three,
six, seven, to four.

- Respectfully,
one of them came from me.

And it had nothing
to do against you.

We were sitting in "Untucked,"

and Monica was telling us
her life story,

and it almost felt like to me

she was saying,
"Please keep me here.

I have nothing to go back to."

- I have been through
everything hell and back.

And I always come back to this.

Drag is all I know,

and this is what the fuck
I'm good at.

- I just needed to at
least try to save her.

- I feel the same way that
Kandy feels about Monica.

- Darienne,
I'm not going to lie to you.

I really wanted
the extra closet space.

- I'm sorry.

I was really swayed by
Monica's story, and I just...

- You're out of the will.

I'm not going to hold
that against you.

And I'm not going
to throw, like,

thumbtacks over in
your station at all.

I promise.

- We can still be friends.

We're probably
not loyal friends now,

but we can still be friends.

- As much as I'm thrilled
to still be here,

the problem is,
three queens here voted

for me to go home tonight.

I harbor no ill will towards
anybody for voting for me,

but I'm also not
going to forget it.

- But girls,
what about the Fame Games?

The twist.

- I love that twist.

- The cool thing about it
is that the eliminated girls

get to show...
- The looks.

- The looks that they brought.
- Yeah.

- And there's a prize.

- Yes.

- Getting the fans
involved, their vote counts.

- They're gonna love that.
- Yes, yes.

- Do you know what
I love even more?

Getting out of drag.

- Queen of the Fame Games.

That sounds fabulous,
marvelous, sensational,

all the adjectives, OK?

And 50k,
that sounds even better.

I could make some dreams
come true with that money.

- One down.

- But in order
to compete, you have to be

an eliminated queen, and I
don't plan to be one of them.

I'm gunning for that
200k, all right?

I want the big prize.

I want that crown.

I like the sound of that.

Crown, crown, crown.

- One, two, three.

- The winner of "RuPaul's
Drag Race All Stars"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

a coveted spot in the
"Drag Race" Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $200,000

with extra-special guest judge
Robin Thede.

- Yes, it's a brand-new day.

- Whoo-oo!
- Yes.

- Chugga-chugga chugga-chugga
chugga-chugga.

- Here we are.
- Yes.

It's a new day in the Werk Room,

and the fact that
I can come into

this bright, beautiful vulva.

I don't know,
the pink walls of love.

I just think it's like Ru's
innards and we're her babies.

- Does anyone have
any daily affirmations

they tell themselves?
- Absolutely.

Every day.

- Heidi, you can blend.

Heidi, you can blend.

- Clearly those aren't working.

- Lies, lies.

She done already
done had herses.

Hey, squirrel friends.

Hi.

- Now is the time for
all sketchy queens

to come together,
because we go live

in 3, 2, 1.

Hello, hello, hello. Hi.

Ladykins.

Now, for this week's
maxi challenge,

you'll be starring in the newest

sketch comedy show,
"RDR Live."

Boy.

#AllStars8.

Today you need to read
through the sketches,

choose your parts, and
rehearse the house down boots.

And tomorrow you'll be
performing your sketches live.

What?

- That's right.

One take.

Are you scared yet?

As someone who was lucky enough

to host "Saturday Night Live,"

I want to warn you,
you need to be

more than just a pretty face.

You've got to be
a real character

that can put your funny
where your mouth is.

All stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- Yes.

Mary and Joseph.

- Grab the dossiers.

- Our maxi challenge is
to star in sketch comedy

for the new show "RDR Live."

if only I knew how to read.

- A lot's riding
on me to do really well.

I was just in the bottom.

So if I don't get
my shit together,

I'm going to be getting
my shit together.

- If you watch a lot of "SNL,"
a lot of it is like dry humor.

- Yeah.

And you have one chance.

- Also that.

- It's live.

- Luckily Darienne Lake
knows how to do comedy.

- OK, so.

- OK, so are we going through
the character breakdown first?

Is that what we're going to do?

OK, so we have Jersey
talk show sketch.

- A low-budget
living room talk show

with two Jerseylicious hosts who

are obsessed with all
things Michelle Visage.

Tangerine and Margarita,
Tangerine's best friend.

- Ever since Michelle got
rid of her big boobies,

I swear she's never
looked more gorgeous.

I love it.
Do you love it?

- I love it.
Do you love it?

- I love it.

- Y'all kind of turnt
that one with your accents.

That was like, that was good.

- Yeah, you guys were great.

- OK, the "Call Girls Gardening
Service," a commercial sketch

for a landscaping company.

Cast is Jasmine and
Fern, landscape service

owners, and Barb,
a satisfied customer

of the landscape service.

- I could be the
satisfied customer.

- Can I have Fern?

- I'll be Jasmine.
- OK.

- My sister.

- Great.

Team Slut unite.

- Team Slut.

- I kind of want to do the
opening host monologue.

- Yeah?

- Baby, that monologue
is calling my name.

She is the host of the show.

She is the main bitch, you know?

She runs the circus.

So then that leaves
a cold open sketch

that takes place at the CDC,
the Center of Drag Control.

The cast is Dr. Ouchie and Dr.
Blackwell, the CDC scientists.

- I'll do Dr. Ouchie.

- OK, so then that's taken.

- Then we've got
"QNN News Update."

Cast is News Anchor 1, News
Anchor 2,

and Pussy Jones, a cat
activist who is also a cat.

My.

- Kahanna?
- Pussy.

- Pussy Jones?
- Pussy Jones.

- I would like News Anchor 1.

- I also would want one
of the news anchors.

- News anchor for me.

- Do you have a second choice?

- News Anchor 2.

- So you're just
news anchor, bitch.

- I know that's right.

- So Dr. Blackwell
and the news anchor

are the ones that are left.

- So we want the same
exact one, me and you.

- I really, really,
really want this one.

In my head, I'm
already a news anchor.

Good evening,
good morning, good night.

Reporting to you
live from "HNC News."

Get it?

HNC for Heidi N Closet.

- Girl, I think it's time
to take some risks, ladies.

- I'll do Dr. Blackwell.
That's fine.

- Are you sure, baby?
- No.

It's totally fine,
because when you're talented,

it don't matter
what part you have.

- Ooh.

- That's the confidence we love.

- So I'm good.

We all got the roles we
wanted except for me.

And I'm pissed.

- Well, that was easy.

- Yeah, that was easy.

- Let's go get slutty.

- So exciting.
- Do you love it?

- I love it.
Do you love it?

- I love it.

- Hello, hello.

Thank you all for gathering
on such short notice, ladies.

I'm afraid we've got
some sickening news.

I'm performing in the
cold open, the CDC skit.

Basically we are scientists who
are trying to save the world

from an outbreak of drag.

It's rapidly spreading across
the universe, even Uranus.

I'm not a trained actor.

I never went to school for this.

But I was recently a
star, I like to say star,

some say co-star,
but I say star,

in "The Bitch That
Stole Christmas" on VH1.

So this is a challenge
I can really excel at.

- There's a viral
virus spreading

across the globe virally.

Not getting the
part that I wanted,

it's going to motivate me
to make this character

as big as I can.

And I am going all in.

If untreated,
it can cause death.

Drops.

Death drops.

- Naysha Lopez,
she is trying to create

some type of character
that really does

not make sense with the role.

- Excuse me.

- And it's kind of just
like cringey to watch.

- Do you think it's good
ditzy or what do you think?

- If you want my advice...
- Yeah, yeah.

- I would say a little feedback
is you're going a little fry,

like slow in with a vocal fry.

You could be a little,
you know, dumber,

but like
get the line out faster.

Get the line out faster.

OK, OK, OK.

- Because if you drag it
too long, it kills the joke.

- Jaymes is a comedy
queen, so I'm receptive

to her constructive criticism.

I'm going to do whatever I
have to do to shine brightest.

- Let's get slutty.

- Our sketch is like a
late night commercial

to convince you to
come to the McCall

Girls Gardening Service.

- I know how to work a hoe.

- We are going to help
you with your lady bush.

We service all your strange
and freaky horticultural needs.

- Ooh.

- It's more like a hotline.

- My background is in theater.

- So you've got one take.

You do it in front
of the audience.

So I'm totally comfortable
being live

and doing it in one take. -
And a slut?

- And a slut.

I am a clown, and I love
making people laugh.

And so I feel like my
background is going to be

an asset in this challenge.

- What do you think
about the others?

How do you think they're
going to be doing.

- Girl, I see you talking shit.

- Girl, I wasn't talking shit.

- Wait, are you feeling
confident with the character

that you have?

The one you didn't want?

- Right.

- Blame Heidi.

- Hey, I mean,
LaLa was in it too.

Hold on.

- I knew who I wanted
from the beginning.

- She didn't budge.

So that just left us
in that spot.

Bitch, she up here
trying to stir the pot.

You better try Jesus, not me.

- And that's the news.

Thank you.

- I can't do this job
with this one no more.

I'm done.
I'm done.

I kind of love that.

Very Michelle.

- And it's my color, tangerine.

Hey, Tangie, I love it.
Do you love it?

- I love it.
- I love it.

- Hey, all stars.

We've got company.

Welcome back to
"Drag Race" Bobby Moynihan.

- What's up, everybody?

- Now Bobby spent
nine years killing

it on "Saturday Night Live."

- Yes.
That is true.

Murdering it.

- Yes.

- But none of that prepared
me for walking into

this mothertucking Werk Room.

Hi, everyone.

My gosh.

It's beautiful in here.

- Please come over,
Jessica Wild and Jimbo.

That sounds like a TV special.

"Jessica Wild and Jimbo."

How did you two
wind up together?

- We're both sluts.

OK.

Congratulations.

- We'll be method acting
as two prostitutes

slash horticulturalists.

- Of course.

- Sluts stick together.

- Yeah.

We stick together,
and we dick together.

- Is that your slogan?

- I think it is now.

- We should.

- Just write that down.

Yeah.

- Now Jessica, how long
has it been since you

were in this Werk Room?

- 13 years.

- Wow.

- But it was more difficult
for me on season two,

because I didn't speak English.

And I did the chicken.

Hi.

Welcome to another
home fried meal.

But the chicken talk a lot.

At the end, I learned
a lot of lines.

- Yes.

- And I ended up in the top.

- Yes.

And then Jackie Collins,
she called

you naive because you didn't
know what a golden shower was.

- Yeah, but now I know,
and I even do it.

- I'm practicing.

- She gave me one this morning.

- I'm getting a little
bit of like a Bert

and Ernie vibe off you guys.

Yeah, maybe play off that.

You never want to see two Berts.

And if you see two Ernies,
then it's too weird.

Maybe these two
prostitutes are the Bert

and Ernie of prostitutes.

You guys have a great chemistry.

Play that up.
- You absolutely do.

All right, thank you so much.

- Thank you.
Bye.

- Thank you, Bobby.

- Explain to Bobby
what you're doing.

- Slowly, like a child, please.
- Yes.

- I'm playing a
cat, Pussy Jones.

- OK, so you were
let go on an episode

that Bobby Moynihan was a judge.

- Yes.

- It was the
"Good God Girl Get Out."

- Yep.

My anxiety is through the
roof, because I went home

in an acting challenge, y'all.

Touch this skin.

Touch all this skin.

But since season 11,
I have been working

five nights a week
at Las Vegas Drag Race Live.

And that has given me
experience performing

and the opportunity to grow.

This is the time to shine.

How do I step into
a role that's an animal

and, like,
really make that funny?

- Go crazy.
Play that animal.

No one's ever seen
this character before.

Do something that puts you
out of your comfort zone.

Because if you try it
confidently,

it'll be hilarious.

- OK.

- Now,
you're playing a newscaster?

- I am.

The newscasters,
they have a lot of lines.

- Are you on cue cards or
do you have to memorize?

We got a teleprompter.

Do you know how to read?

- I can barely speak.

You hear me.

Randolph County
said no child left

behind except Heidi, baby.

- Well, you're very
naturally funny.

- Thank you.

- You have a trademark
thing that you

do with your speaking voice.

I would love to hear you read
the news as Heidi N Closet.

- Yeah.

All the little, like,
tricks, anything

you can do to spice
it up, something

that somebody else in this
room can't do that you can.

- Right. Yeah.

- And have fun.

If you're having fun,
we will have fun.

- Yes.
- All right.

Well, thank you so much.

- Good to see you.

Thank you, guys.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Gather round, all stars.

Come on down.

Bobby, darling,
can you take over for me?

Because it's time for my
break right about now, so...

- Queens, tomorrow you will be
performing on "RDR Live,"

where you will be joined by our
extra-special guest judge

from The "Black Lady
Sketch Show," Robin Thede.

How am I doing, Ru?

Am I doing OK over here?

- I said I was on my break.

And ladies, on the
runway, your category

is Net Gala.

So good luck.

- And don't fuck it up.

Let's go, Bobby.

Yes.

- Thank you.

Don't fuck it up at all.

- Bye, Bobby.

- All right.

Here we go.

- Woo, woo, woo.

- Today we are getting
ready for the "RDR Live"

challenge, honey.

- Live, live, live.
- Live, live, live.

- One-take wonders, baby.

God.

I feel the energy.
I can taste it.

- Did you love it?
I love it.

- We love it.
- This is exciting.

It feels like a dream realized.

I've always wanted to be
on "Saturday Night Live."

Like as a cast member.

That'd be incredible.

- How are you
feeling, Miss LaLa?

- I'm feeling way
better than I felt

the first time around
when I first came here

with the acting challenges.

Like, I wasn't as confident,
you know what I mean?

Red is trying to shut
down the flag factory.

What should we do?

- You were out of
your comfort zone,

and I think you
kind of went within.

- I didn't do an acting
challenge at the time,

but I was acting like
I belonged there,

and they didn't believe it.

- They wasn't buying it, Jaymes?

- No.

- They weren't buying what
you were selling, girl?

- No, not that time.

They said.

- How are you doing, Naysha?
Are you excited for the...

- I'm super excited.
- The big show?

- Yeah.

- Our big live debut.

- Even though I didn't want
this role, being challenged

is what I came here for.

You got to make it happen
and turn the party, period.

- Last week's voting
was difficult.

- Last week's voting was
difficult. It was really hard.

It was emotional.

- How are you going to
base your vote this week?

- You just have to go
with what you're feeling

and with whatever decision
you're going to be OK with.

- You know, I chose Monica to
stay over Darienne last week

and I did kind of
feel bad about it,

because I was like,
you know what, fuck.

Darienne was my teammate.

And she did really good.

But let me tell you this.

My next decisions
definitely won't

be based off of
just my emotions,

because we're all
going to be emotional.

We're all going to cry.

I think it really is what
you're bringing to the table.

Why should I keep you here?

- But there are going
to be weeks where

girls just are not as strong.

Does that mean that
they need to go home?

You know what I mean?

I know this is going
to sound shady,

but it's just how I feel.

- OK.

- I have to be excited
to see you again.

I have to want it.

- Correct.

- I want to be excited.

And if I feel that,
I'm going to be

OK with voting with whoever
the fuck I vote for.

Do you get what I'm saying?

- Who so far is some of
your biggest competitions?

- I would say Heidi.

Heidi N Closet
and Alexis Michelle.

But then you have Jimbo.

- Jimbo will creep up.

- And I'm sure that
today she's going to slay

that fuckin' challenge.

- Being here twice is wild.

- All right, but imagine
being here for the third time

like Miss Jimbo over there.

- You conquered Canada.

You conquered the UK.

And now you're here.

It just sucks you have
to go home this week.

- Shut up.

I'm not going.

You can't make me.

- What's up, boss?

- Girl, so how do you feel
about the challenge today?

- I feel good.
I feel good.

I think we have a good rapport.

- I think we make
a great duo, honey.

- I agree.

- And with that,
I think we should be like,

you know, what do you think
about, like, an alliance,

you know?

An alliance.

- Yeah.

You never know what's going to
happen in this game,

honestly, child.

No shade.

So why not get together with
one of my favorite sisters,

baby, and make sure we're
able to save each other

if we're ever in the bottom?

- I would be down to...

I'm not above an
alliance, trust, mama.

I will definitely...

Ooh, girl.

OK, so first and foremost,
me and Jimbo and Kandy

are in an alliance.

And I'm going to stay
true to my alliance,

because I am a queen of my word.

However, I'm about
to use my social game

to get what I need.

I got your back.

Got you, girl.

The goal is not to be
in the bottom together.

That is the goal.

- Let's go put this mug on.

- OK.

- OK, a little tip toe.

- Come on, aubergine.

Welcome to the main stage of
"RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars."

It's funny lady,
Michelle Visage.

- Superstar.

Love you, Molly.

- I love Molly too.

- That's a different
kind of Molly, RuPaul.

- And style superstar,
Carson Kressley.

Now, Carson, any truth
to the rumor that you

once dated Pete Davidson?

No comment.

And yes.

It never happened.

Did I say Pete?

I meant John Davidson.

- No comment.

- That's incredible.

- Eight isn't enough.

- That was Dick Van Patten.

- And the funny
and fabulous Robin Thede.

Robin, are you ready
to laugh out loud?

- I am.

I'm not sure if my
bladder is though.

Does anyone to have any
young adult diapers?

Michelle?

- I do.
- Great.

Thank you.

- This week
we challenged our all stars

to become real comedy
characters on "RDR Live."

All stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- Hello, hello, hello.

Ladies, I'm afraid we've
got some sickening news.

- There's a viral
virus spreading

across the globe virally.

- How viral?

- Like Miss Vanjie viral.

- Dr. Ouchie,
what are the symptoms?

- Well, involuntary tongue
popping, face cracking,

and back rolls.

Back rolls?

- If untreated,
it can cause death.

Drops.

Death drops.

- Bitch, why didn't you say?

- The epidemic originated
here in the States

before moving to
Thailand, the UK,

Brazil, Holland, and Canada.

The spread has
already gone global

and is expanding rapidly
across the universe.

It's even been found on Uranus.

- My anus?

- Precisely.

- Is there a test for it?

- Routine swabbing, of course.

- Is there an anal option?

- There's only an anal option.

- Ooh, girl, that's cool.

I'm gonna get up in there.

Silence.

- It's clear we're facing
a raging epidemic

of "Drag Race" franchises.

- This disease spreads faster
than peanut, peanut, peanut,

peanut, peanut, peanut butter.

- Look, all known
cases lead back

to one RuPaul Andre Charles.

- She's a super
spreader of charisma,

uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

- What's that sound?

- Everybody stay calm, okurr?

- Good God, girls,
we've been exposed.

- Come on, CDC,
let's get sickening.

- Start your engines, because.

Live from Tuckaho,
it's "RDR Live."

- It's "RDR Live."

With Naysha Lopez.

LaLa Ri and Heidi N Closet.

Kahanna Montrese.

Jaymes Mansfield.

Jessica Wild and Jimbo.

Mrs. Kasha Davis.

Darienne Lake
and Alexis Michelle.

And your host, Kandy Muse.

- Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

I am so excited
to be the very first

host of the very first
"RDR Live."

Wow.

What an honor.

If you'd have told me back
when I was a baby queen walking

into the Werk Room on
season 13 that I'd

be back on "All Stars"
hosting RDR Live,"

I'd have said, "All Stars"?

So I didn't win the
first time around?

But we have a
terrific show for you

tonight with some
truly hilarious

queens and some other queens.

But I'm not worried.

I mean, LaLa Ri can turn
a paper bag into a joke.

So there's hope.

There's hope.

Plus we have Heidi N Closet.

Talk about funny.

Well, no, sorry, I meant
Heidi N Closet talks funny.

Coming from me.

But like I said,
this is my very first time.

So lower your expectations
real low and go easy.

Which by the way,
is the same thing

Mrs. Kasha Davis said on her
wedding night back in 1954.

Kasha, what are you doing here?

I am in the middle
of a monologue.

- Well, I thought
since you're hosting,

I'd pitch you some
of my sketch ideas.

- Don't you think it's
a little too late?

The show's already started.

- So mean to old people.

Someday I'm gonna die,
and then you're

gonna feel bad about it.

- Fine, fine, fine, fine.

But please, make it quick.

- OK.

So I was thinking if
we did this, like,

soap opera sketch about
rival drag racing families

and then we secretly
added fart noises

throughout the whole thing.

- You know, you are
describing "Daytona Winds,"

and they already did
that on season 14.

OK.

How about a sketch about a
hospital where all the doctors

and the patients
are all drag queens

and they're absolutely insane.

- That was "Gays Anatomy," and
they did that on season 12.

- How about an all drag
version of Shakespeare?

I call it Shakesqueer.

- Bitch, that's just not funny.

- I remember.

Well.

You can't blame
a girl for trying.

By the way, I was in
the Werk Room and Jimbo

is puking in your wigs.

- Bitch!

- Stick around
for more "RDR Live."

We've got a great show.

- Hi, I'm Fern McCall,
and we're the McCall

Girls Gardening Service.

- We service
all your strange and

freaky horticultural needs.

- Do you have a big thick
oak tree

that grows and kind of bends
at a weird angle?

Let us take a whack at it.

We'll prune it like a pro.

- Is your lady gardening dry
and overrun by pesky moles?

After we're done, you will be
wondering how it got so moist.

- Maybe you're an
older gardener who's

tired of soiling themselves.

Let us soil you.

- That's right we do all
the horticultural things

those other girls won't,
like hedge trimming,

gutter cleaning, sewer draining.

- And stump work.

Just leave the money
on the dresser,

and we'll do the rest.

- Don't believe us?

Ask one of our
satisfied customers.

- Hi.

I'm Barb.

When it came to this
whole gardening thing,

I didn't know mulch,
so I hired the McCall

girls to talk dirt to me.

- You grow, girl.

- I had a bush that
was growing wild.

It was embarrassing.

Other landscapers said it was
too weird for them to handle.

But the McCall girls,
they were into it.

They got me to try topiary
for the first time.

And now my crazy bush looks
like an adorable squirrel.

My tulips have
never been happier.

- That's right.

We're not mow and blow girls.

We stick around till
you're fully fertilized.

- So whether you're a guy having

trouble with his peonies.

- Or a gal with
a lonely flower bed.

- Call the McCall Girls
Gardening service.

We're so much more than
your average garden hoe.

- It's "Queen Network News"

with Heidi N Closet and LaLa Ri.

- Good evening, trash.

- Our top story tonight.

In medical news, Lady Bunny
has a prolapsed anus.

Doctors say it
has really brought

out the asshole inside her.

In a related story,
Bianca Del Rio

recently fell out of
Lady Bunny's prolapsed anus.

- Chinese explorers
are celebrating

the discovery of the deepest
sinkhole in the world.

When told it's big enough to
hold two Washington monuments,

Trinity the Tuck
responded, "Just two?"

- NASA has discovered
a new galaxy.

They're naming it the
"Ross Matthews Drag Brunch"

because it's mostly empty and
there are no big stars there.

- An adult bookstore was
the most recent target

of a smash and grab robbery.

Among the missing items
was a three-foot sex toy.

When police questioned
eyewitness Jiggly Caliente

if she knew where the giant
phallus had disappeared to,

she said...

- Nina West, Tina Burner,
and Michelle Visage

are starring
in a one-woman show.

The role of the one
woman has yet to be cast.

- The New York City
Transit Authority

released a perfume
that smells just

like the subway
with high notes of urine,

sweat, and desperation.

They're calling it the
LaLa Ri experience.

On a somber note, a local
drag queen was pulled

out of the river this morning.

Her makeup was smeared,
her wig was busted,

and her body was full
of illegal substances.

In a related story,
Heidi N Closet

still made it to work on time.

Well done, Heidi N Closet.

- Moving on.

A new study from the
UK claims that cats

don't get enough respect.

Here to comment is our kitty
correspondent, Pussy Jones.

Meow.

- Welcome, Pussy.

- Hello, America.

I am Pussy Jones,
a fierce advocate,

or should I say catvocate,
for the feline nation.

For too long cats have been
treated like human playthings.

People think just because
they feed us, they own us.

Well, we do not exist
for human amusement.

Like how they make us jump on
those little red laser lights

knowing full well there's
nothing there to catch.

Then they rub our bellies.

Such disrespect.

Well, listen up.

My cat body, my cat choice.

- So what's your point of view
on feline reproductive

rights, kitty?

- I say my reproductive
rights are my purr-ogative.

Getting spayed
was the best thing

I have ever done for myself.

Meow.

You try giving birth to a
dozen babies at the same time.

And while you're
discussing urgent matters.

- Go right ahead.

- I need to talk
about something else.

I was down at the Litterbox
Nightclub on Avenue A

next door to Kitty Liquors,
and I

overheard a group of queens
talking about their pussies

were on fire.

- Yes.

- They just all
stood there laughing

while pussies were burning.

Meow.

- Pussy on fire is
just an expression.

It just means, like, ooh,
you're hot, like ooh, girl,

your pussy is on fire.

Really?

- Yeah.

- My bad.

Well, power to the pussy.

- Pussy Jones, everyone.

- And that's the news.

Thank you.

Welcome to the "House of Love,"

the show where we talk
about all the things

we love about New Jersey.

The mall.
- Yes.

- The shore.

- Check.

- And of course, our favorite
Jersey girl, Michelle Visage.

I'm Tangerine.

- And I'm Margarita.

We've been best friends
since middle school

when we lost our
virginity to the same guy.

Different nights.

- But it was all
back door stuff,

so it doesn't really count.

- So, Tangie, what hot summer
book are you loving right now?

- I am loving "The Diva Rules"
by Michelle Visage.

I love it.
Do you love it?

- I love it.
Do you love it?

- I love it.

She speaks to
me as a Jersey girl,

as a diva, but most
importantly, as a woman.

- OK.

What hot summer movie
are you loving right now?

- "Fried Green Tomatoes."

I love it.

Do you love it?

- Did you hit your head
on the way in here?

You know Michelle Visage
hates the color green.

Please don't disrespect
her like that.

My god, I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking straight.

- Clearly.

- Moving on.

What TV shows
are you loving right now?

- I am loving
the Summer Olympics.

I love it.

Do you love it?

- Wha?

- Are you serious?

- What?

- All the little girls
in their bodysuits?

Are you trying to give
Michelle Visage a stroke?

She hates bodysuits.

New subject.

- OK, speaking of little girls,
isn't this your first weekend

without your girls?

- They're with my ex-husband.

Is it wrong that I'm fine
that they're gone?

- You know who else is glad
that her girls are gone?

Michelle Visage.

- Anyways...

If that is my husband,
I'm going to kill him.

Tony, I'm doing my show.

- Hello, ladies.

Hi Margie.

- Hi, Michelle.
- Mwah! Mwah!

About your show.

- We love it.
- Do you love it?

- Do you love it?
- We love it.

- I love it.

Come sit, stay, visit.

- The show's over.
- Go ahead.

Go to bed.

Go to bed.
Goodbye. Goodbye.

- That's our show.

Thank you and remember
if you can't laugh at yourself,

how the hell are you going
to laugh at somebody else?

Can I get an amen up here?

Amen.

- Now let the music play.

Good night.

- Category is Net Gala.

Up first, Naysha Lopez.

- My, what a chic web we weave.

- I am serving punk and glam
all served up into one.

This black, netted,
gorgeous gown.

I am feeling everything
in this look.

Unbeweavable.

- That's what you are.

Jaymes Mansfield.

Boy, talk about a high roller.

- I know why the
caged wig sings.

- Last week I gave you
old Hollywood realness.

This time I'm taking
it to the '60s.

I am showing them all
of this body-ody-ody

that I did not have
on season nine.

She learned how to
pad and pad right.

- Beauty school dropout.

There's going to be
a hole in her ozone.

- Kandy Muse.

- I think the face
matches the drapes.

- For my Net Gala, I wanted to
go for more of the Balenciaga

Kim Kardashian route.

I'm in all hot pink
from head to toe.

And if you look
real close, baby,

that is my face drawn
out in front of my body.

- I just can't face it.

- Mrs. Kasha Davis.

You've heard of a yeti?

- This is a Neti.

- OK.

- The Net Gala is here,
and I am giving you

the butterfly extravaganza.

She is a maiden of
the woods, and she sits,

and she reads to children.

- She's got a pretty
face, butt-er-fly.

Up next, Jimbo.

My goodness.

- This bitch is lit.

We can see her LED.

- I am serving
the ultimate influencer.

I am cell phone octobot
on the internet.

I feel like a super villain
mixed with some sort

of beautiful monster.

And my cell phone bill
is through the roof.

- The calls are
coming from inside

your headpiece.

Jessica Wild.

- With all those
insects over her,

Orkin's going to
have a field day.

- Come up and
pollinate me sometime.

- Tonight the
runway is Net Gala.

I have a nude bodysuit
covered in net,

and I can't wait to
show you my hole.

- Jessica Wild, now with wings.

- For light days.

- Heidi N Closet.

- They call her Gaucho Marx.

- I know I look
sickening, bitch.

I feel like there's a
gap in the Hall of Fame.

And I'm trying to fill it.

- This look has some bite.

Baby, not so much teeth.

- I can remove 'em.

LaLa Ri.

- Ooh.
- Work.

- Let's just say her net
worth is in the black.

- I really wanted to go
for a high-fashion moment.

The shoulders are big so I
can fly away on these hos.

I'm feeling like the chocolate
Beyoncé right now, bitch.

And she's sparkling, honey.

She's sparkling.

- You know, pants are overrated.

- You know.

Kahanna Montrese.

- Everybody wants a
piece of her trident.

- 9 out of 10
dentists recommend it.

- Yes.

- I am serving
ocean goddess, baby.

When you think of nets, you
think about all of the body.

You think about the sex appeal.

And that is something
I specialize in.

- Honey, she puts the puss
in "Poseidon Adventure."

- OK.

- I'd like to get
under that sea.

- Ooh.

Darienne Lake.

Hoop, there it is.

Yes.

- She's what we like
to call a baller.

- OK.

- I am bouncing down this
runway in nothing but net.

She's, she's going to
pick you out with her moves.

Swish, swish, baby.

Bouncy bounce bounce.

- Game, net, match.

I don't want to be rude,
but is she dribbling?

- She is.

- OK.

Alexis Michelle.

- Gorgeous.

- Apparently she's
into heavy netting.

- I am living for this
nude and black net gown.

Honey, she is
structured and regal.

I'm ready for the Met Gala.

- She's never net a
dress she didn't love.

- Clean up this mesh.

- Welcome, queens.

Based on your
performances in "RDR Live"

and the Net Gala
runway presentations,

we've made some decisions.

Kandy Muse.

Mrs. Kasha Davis.

Jessica Wild.

LaLa Ri.

Darienne Lake.

Alexis Michelle.

All of you are...

Safe.

You may leave the stage.

- Congrats, honey.

- Bye, ladies.

- Ladies, you represent the tops

and the bottoms of the week.

Now it's time for
the judges' critiques.

Starting with Naysha Lopez.

- Naysha, Naysha, Naysha.

You look absolutely stunning.

The makeup,
the hair, all gorgeous.

My only critique
of this is that it's

a little quiet for "All Stars."

- OK.

- I think as Dr. Blackwell,
you lost me a bit.

You were so into it
that I didn't catch a lot

of what you're trying to say.

- There's a viral
virus spreading

across the globe virally.

- We couldn't
laugh with you when

we couldn't really understand
what you were saying.

- I think with a
little focus on timing

and really hitting
those punch lines

and letting them breathe
a little bit more,

it could have really sung.

- Up next, Jaymes Mansfield.

- You worked in a space
where we didn't even

see you full body
the whole time,

and yet I felt the
physical comedy.

It shone through in a way that
didn't take away from anyone

else's performance.

So I thought you
did a great job.

- This look.

You know, you're giving us
that drag sense of camp.

You gave us a chunky,
old-fashioned hairnet.

And I love that you still
have a long ponytail hanging

down the back, which is like,

you've missed a part
of your hair.

It's comedy, and it speaks
to your brand so well.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Jimbo.

- When you came around the
corner in this, I just lit up.

It's just next level.

And it's demented like you are.

Talk about iconic.

It's an "All Stars" moment.

- Thank you.

- You put the "hor"
in horticulture.

And I appreciate it.

You had a tear
in your stockings.

You had dirt on your bosoms.

It was subtle and it worked.

- You had a partner in the
scene who was big and broad,

and it was a genius
decision on your part

to ground your character
so that you guys could

play those highs and lows.

And it didn't look like
you were competing.

- Did you consciously decide,

"I'm going to be the grounded
one in this scene?"

- After we had our walkthrough,

you guys talked about having
a Bert and an Ernie,

two characters that live within
the same world but aren't

sort of covering
the same territory.

I thought,
she's seen a few things.

She's got a few twitches.

But she's got strong
hands and a deep throat.

- Welcome to Hollywood.

All right, up next,
Heidi N Closet.

- You really got to shine
as the QNN news anchor.

- Good evening, trash.

- You sold all of the
jokes so confidently,

bouncing things off so
beautifully with LaLa

that it made you shine.

- Tonight on the runway,
I like this Rick Owens

kind of fashion moment.

I love this hair
that you put with it.

Your makeup looks pretty.

You've improved so much
in all the right ways.

That's what an all star does.

- That means so, so much.

Thank you.

- Up next, Kahanna Montrese.

- You know what I
love about your drag

is you've been Vegas-fied.

Everything is over the top.

It just is so much fun
to look at.

And when you walk the runway,

there's such a presence
around you.

- For Pussy Jones, the pussy
was a little dry for me.

OK.

- Not dry-ass pussy.

- It happens to the best of us.

But it felt like to me you
didn't quite trust the jokes

or you were maybe just
not 100% comfortable.

Because when you get to
play a cat character,

you can do all of the
things and you can have

all of the moments, right?

And just something
to personify the cat

part of it a little bit more
would have helped, I think.

- With a character called
Pussy Jones, we're like, OK,

here we go.

We want so much.

- I wanted Pam Grier.

- Yeah.

- Sure.

Like a blaxploitation movie.
- Yes.

- Maybe she's just
not a cat person.

- Thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

Based on the judges' critiques,

I've made some decisions.

Jimbo, condragulations.

You are the top
all star of the week.

- What?
Yes!

My god, thank you.

- You've won a cash
prize of $5,000 U.S.

- Yes.

That's like 7 grand.

- Jaymes Mansfield,
Heidi N Closet...

You are safe.

- Thank you.

- Naysha Lopez, Kahanna
Montrese, I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are the bottom
two all stars of the week.

Jimbo, you need to decide
which of the bottom queens

to eliminate
if you win tonight's

lip sync against
a secret lip sync assassin.

The rest of you will cast your
votes for the bottom queen

you think should get the chop.

Thank you, all stars.

You may leave the stage.

- Thank you.

Girl, this is an
emotional roller coaster.

I was just in the top,
and now I'm in the bottom.

But I have worked so
hard to get to this point

that I can't let this
slip between my fingers.

- Even though it
wasn't my first choice,

I pushed myself to go
really big with this role,

and I think that
just backfired on me.

But I have so much
more to show everyone.

I hope that the
other girls know that,

because my fate lies
in the hands of my sisters.

- Voting people off and
murdering their dreams

does not make my
heart go a-flutter.

I'm a queen of kindness.

- I'm sorry.

Jesus.

- When it comes down
to it, it really matters

are you excelling
or are you not excelling?

Both these girls did the
worst in the challenge,

but Kahanna was top
all stars last week.

Girl, I am so, so sorry.

- I'm basing my decision
on who I think

just has a lot more to show
in this competition.

- I send you lots of love.

- Ooh, child.

- This decision
does not come easy.

I'm looking at this box, and...

My god, I'm so sorry.

Wow.

I can't help it.

I am stressed.

Their fate hangs
in my dainty little hands.

- Welcome back.

Jimbo, are you ready
to meet your opponent?

- I was born ready.

- It's time to present this
week's lip sync assassin.

- Baby.

- Dress.

Pageant.

- Trinity K. Bonet?

- Ruveal yourself.

She came in a dress, honey.

My god.

- Who is it?

My God.

- Pangina?

Why?

- Hi, hi.
- My God.

- Gag to the gag to
the gag, gag, gag.

- We love you.

- On "UK versus The World,"
she sent my ass packing.

- I choose Jimbo to go home.

- I love you guys so much.

I just want to beat this
bitch and win that cash.

How could you?

Well, well, well.

Pangina, are you ready to slay?

- Yes.

Two queens stand before me.

Pangina holds
the lipstick of the queen

that the group
has voted to send home.

Pangina wins, the queen on
her lipstick gets the chop.

Jimbo, this is your chance
to impress me, win $20,000,

- and earn power...
- My fucking God.

- To give one of the bottom
queens the chop.

The time has come
for you to lip sync

for your legacy.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

- Come on, girl.

Hey.

- Come on, girl.

- Yeah.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Pangina Heals.

Condragulations,
you're a winner, baby.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- The $20,000 will roll
over into next week's tip.

- $30,000.

- Jimbo, you are safe
to slay another day.

- Thank you so much, Ru.

Thank you.

- You may step to the
back of the stage.

- Lesbians.

Will the bottom queens
please step forward?

Naysha.

Kahanna.

Whoever gets the chop tonight
will be immediately entered

into the online Fame Games.

In "Untucked" and online,
each week

we will showcase
the runway looks

that the eliminated
queens would have worn.

Any additional content
an eliminated queen

wishes to post on her
socials is up to them.

In the final days leading up
to this season's grand finale,

the fans will vote to determine
which eliminated queen

will win the title
of Queen of the Fame Games

plus a cash prize of $50,000.

Pangina, with great power
comes great responsibility.

Which queen has the group
chosen to get the chop?

- The group have spoken.

And the queen they chose
to get the chop is...

Naysha.

- As it is written,
so it shall be done.

Naysha Lopez, you are and
will always be an all star.

You're leaving us tonight, but
the Fame Games have just begun.

Now sashay away.

- Thank you so much.

Thank you.

I am super disappointed.

I came here to
perform and shine.

And I want to continue to
compete with my sisters.

But I'm just really happy
that I got to be a part of it

and I got a platform
to do what I love to do.

I will be forever grateful.

And my game does not end here.

This is only the beginning.

I am determined
to snatch this Fame Game.

- Pangina, my dear,
thank you for joining us.

You are welcome to come
back and slay any time.

- I'm coming back.

Condragulations, all stars.

And remember, if you can't
love yourself, how in the hell

are you going to
love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

Amen!

- Right.

Now let the music play.

- Next time on "All Stars..."

- Should we look at who
the group voted for?

- Let's see.

- Three for Kahanna.

- I don't need anybody
to tell me how to vote.

- For this week's
maxi challenge,

we are throwing
a supermarket ball.

My god.

- A look made out of
supermarket materials?

- A necklace.

- Clean up on aisle three.

- The alliance only
works if the others

don't know about it.

OK?

- Ruveal yourself.

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