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3
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Prince Harry! Hariya!
4
00:00:56,458 --> 00:00:58,708
Have you seen my cat?
5
00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:03,708
Prince Harry.
6
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:11,166
Prince Harry, where are you?
7
00:01:17,958 --> 00:01:20,541
PRINCE "HARIYA" HARRY
8
00:01:41,875 --> 00:01:45,416
LEO "LECHEROUS" MATTHEWS
9
00:01:45,625 --> 00:01:48,750
Have you seen Prince Harry? My cat!
10
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,625
My cat!
11
00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:52,333
Huh?
12
00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:07,500
I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!
13
00:02:07,833 --> 00:02:09,333
Prince Harry.
14
00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:16,833
Fuck off!
15
00:02:16,958 --> 00:02:19,500
YASH "THE JUNKIE" BATRA
16
00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:24,041
Get the dessert ready!
Get the dessert ready!
17
00:02:26,125 --> 00:02:27,333
Hurry up! Let's go!
18
00:02:31,625 --> 00:02:34,541
Prince Harry!
19
00:02:34,791 --> 00:02:35,916
Prince Harry!
20
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,166
Where is Guppie Ram?
Why isn't he here working?
21
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,166
Guppie Ram is missing since afternoon.
God knows where the hell he is!
22
00:02:52,375 --> 00:02:55,041
Hurry up! The wolves are here, come on!
23
00:02:55,916 --> 00:02:57,750
-New car, sahib?
-Always.
24
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,583
At your service, hukum.
25
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:05,833
This way, sir.
26
00:03:06,416 --> 00:03:07,583
Uh…
27
00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:11,291
Get some sweets for your kids, hm?
28
00:03:11,708 --> 00:03:15,541
RANNVIJAY "THE SHOW-OFF" SINGH
29
00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:24,416
Today, I've decided I'll stay
miles away from these two candidates.
30
00:03:24,958 --> 00:03:27,750
Their electioneering
is only going to ruin our budget.
31
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:31,125
That Raja sahib, great style,
orders one Scotch after another.
32
00:03:31,208 --> 00:03:33,791
-Bloody fraud.
-And that waiter chases us to sign for it.
33
00:03:33,916 --> 00:03:35,333
As for Shehnaz,
34
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,541
she's already offered film roles
to more than half the club
35
00:03:38,666 --> 00:03:40,125
just to push her election bid.
36
00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:41,750
See, he doesn't even pick up my call.
37
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:44,041
I keep trying him endlessly,
he just won’t answer.
38
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,291
And he won't turn up today,
I'm sure of it.
39
00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:50,666
That Bengali woman, she will not rest
until she's made a leftist out of my son.
40
00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,750
Come on, Mala,
don't be a typical mommy now.
41
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,500
"The girl is always the vamp!"
42
00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:56,166
Did I say anything wrong, Beeji?
43
00:03:56,708 --> 00:03:59,666
Okay, so you live by yourself
for three years in Kolkata. That's fine.
44
00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:02,666
But once you're back home,
you need to come and stay with us, right?
45
00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,333
To live separately here in Delhi,
how does that make sense?
46
00:04:05,541 --> 00:04:08,291
And these days, he's even started
speaking like that Bengali woman.
47
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:11,333
He says, "A club is a symbol
of privilege and classism."
48
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,916
-What class?
-Yeah!
49
00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:26,708
-Look at us.
-Exactly.
50
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,875
Knocking around
in this eight-year-old piece of junk.
51
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:30,625
Who offers us an umbrella?
52
00:04:30,916 --> 00:04:34,166
Bloody hell this, since when did it start
raining in November?
53
00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:36,291
Global warning.
54
00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:40,333
-"Warming," Beeji. "Warming."
-It's still a warning.
55
00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:42,750
Prince Harry!
56
00:04:44,666 --> 00:04:45,833
Prince Harry.
57
00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:47,750
Prince Harry.
58
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,833
Hello, hello, gather around
for the group photo, please.
59
00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:57,583
Please come to the main stage area.
60
00:04:57,833 --> 00:05:00,583
Listen, Tambola will begin
only after the group photo.
61
00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:01,750
Hi. Namaste, bhai sahib.
62
00:05:01,875 --> 00:05:03,958
The bar will still be open
after the photo.
63
00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:05,916
Let's do glasses later.
64
00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:08,208
Please come this side now.
65
00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:16,541
Hey, cutie. Did you find your cat?
66
00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:20,208
Love kids.
67
00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:23,083
President sahib!
Stop playing the class monitor.
68
00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:24,958
Your tenure is almost done.
69
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:27,125
That's what I am waiting for, Raja sahib.
70
00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:30,208
Once the elections get done this Thursday,
I'll withdraw.
71
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:32,333
Guys, the next round is on me!
72
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,916
Sir, you know the drinks are on the house.
73
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:44,750
AKASH "THE PITIABLE" DOGRA
74
00:05:45,958 --> 00:05:48,333
Hey, Dogra! Join us, yaar.
75
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:07,958
Raja sahib!
76
00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:10,625
Sir, what is this, sir?
How can two tickets be enough?
77
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,666
Fine, give me two more,
but don't ask for money.
78
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:13,875
And why is your glass empty?
79
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,375
-Staff!
-Beta!
80
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,333
-There he is.
-What is this?
81
00:06:17,416 --> 00:06:19,791
-Raja sahib's glass should never be empty.
-Never. Hukum. Hukum!
82
00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:21,166
-Always hukum.
-Hukum.
83
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,708
The staff will always call me hukum,
and here's something for the kids.
84
00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:34,791
I am so proud
of my Yashu. So proud!
85
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,833
You know that place in UK?
The rehab center.
86
00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:41,166
That is just fabulous! Just fab!
87
00:06:41,791 --> 00:06:45,125
Few lacs a month, yaar!
Just a few lacs.
88
00:06:45,208 --> 00:06:48,625
Drugs, wugs, all gone,
all addiction clean!
89
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:52,666
ROSHNI "THE BULLSHITTER" BATRA
90
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:57,125
And you know,
it had an indoor heated swimming pool,
91
00:06:57,791 --> 00:07:01,791
scented towels, sushi!
I was like, "You know what?"
92
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:06,625
"Why don't I also fake an addiction
and get myself admitted?"
93
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,333
Cheers!
94
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:15,541
-Hello.
-Hello.
95
00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:18,125
-How are you?
-All good.
96
00:07:19,958 --> 00:07:21,375
So my "commie" son has come.
97
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:23,833
Are you sure I'm yours?
Sometimes, I wonder…
98
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:26,625
if I was exchanged at the hospital.
99
00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:28,708
Not at the hospital, beta.
Now, you've switched.
100
00:07:28,791 --> 00:07:30,583
It's been a whole week
since you came to Delhi,
101
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:33,208
you haven't bothered to visit me.
You haven't even called me once.
102
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,416
I mean, what are we to you?
We could die tomorrow
103
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,666
and you wouldn't give
a damn about us, isn't it? Isn't it?
104
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,000
-Mommy--
-You have 17 missed calls
105
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,750
from me on your phone!
Do you even check your phone?
106
00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:42,333
-I don't even see a damn blue tick…
-Mommy--
107
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:43,833
…so you're not reading my messages, beta.
108
00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:45,125
-Mommy--
-All I asked for
109
00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:47,583
was to simply attend the Tambola,
just do this for your mother's sake--
110
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:49,666
I'm here now. Right in front of you. Look.
111
00:07:51,791 --> 00:07:52,958
Let's get a photo taken.
112
00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:56,041
Maa, I don't belong
to this fancy dress competition.
113
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:57,541
Oh, I see, I see.
114
00:07:57,666 --> 00:08:00,166
If she were here,
you'd suddenly belong, isn't it?
115
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:06,125
Maa, she's nothing to me anymore, okay?
I have a steady girlfriend.
116
00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:08,625
I see, I see, she's nothing to you.
It's steady, it's unsteady.
117
00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:10,750
-I know everything--
-Okay, everyone, enough chatting!
118
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:12,291
Come line up for the photos.
119
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:15,458
-I am starting Tambola in five minutes.
-What's with this November rain, yaar?
120
00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:17,375
This is the first and last call!
121
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:20,041
-The poor farmers.
-Yeah.
122
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,041
-Hi. Yeah! Excuse me.
-Sure.
123
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,375
Hello.
124
00:08:26,458 --> 00:08:28,208
So she really cares about the farmers?
125
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,458
For someone who has risen
from cow dung herself.
126
00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:37,291
SHEHNAZ "THE DIVA" NOORANI
127
00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:59,500
Shehnaz ji, I am so glad
you left your shoot to be here tonight.
128
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:02,791
By the way,
magenta really suits you, I must say.
129
00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:06,625
Green? Grey.
130
00:09:07,041 --> 00:09:09,458
-Gold.
-That you are.
131
00:09:17,833 --> 00:09:19,583
Stunning, what's up?
132
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:22,708
How do you do this? Gorgeous.
133
00:09:27,375 --> 00:09:28,750
Where's the silver cake knife?
134
00:09:28,875 --> 00:09:31,166
Arey, how am I supposed to know
where the silver cake knife is?
135
00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:32,625
Go ask another waiter.
136
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:36,083
Oh, yes. Bloody, my dada ji gave me this,
you know. Original.
137
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:37,208
-Dada ji gave you this?
-Yes!
138
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,416
-Wow! Looks damn cool.
-Yeah.
139
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,583
Okay, everyone, hold your positions.
140
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,750
Come on, come on, everyone.
Let's go! Hurry up, take the picture.
141
00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:49,750
This side, this side, Bhatti ji…
142
00:09:49,875 --> 00:09:51,583
What's going on?
143
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,250
-Hello, I am still the president, guys.
-Excuse me!
144
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,666
-Your tenure is almost over.
-What do you mean by that?
145
00:09:56,916 --> 00:09:57,958
Come on.
146
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,583
-Yes!
-One second, one second. Wait for me.
147
00:10:01,666 --> 00:10:04,458
Hello, Mrs. Nayyar,
you're looking gorgeous today.
148
00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:05,625
Could you please move up a bit?
149
00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:07,666
-Just a little bit. Arey, come on!
-Okay.
150
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:08,875
Just…
151
00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:10,416
-Come, come, hurry up!
-Yes, please.
152
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,833
Please, please, come.
153
00:10:11,958 --> 00:10:14,666
And, everybody, now,
just give me your best smiles. Okay?
154
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:17,041
-Always the best smile!
-Yeah, like a happy family.
155
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,541
And, Shehnaz, oh, my God.
What an unforgettable smile.
156
00:10:20,916 --> 00:10:22,041
Yes, madam.
157
00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:24,916
Better give your best smile today,
because after the election--
158
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:28,375
After the elections,
I am going to be very busy, Mr. Singh.
159
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:29,958
-Mm-hmm.
-Building washrooms
160
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:33,166
-near the kitchen garden.
-Over my dead fucking body!
161
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:37,250
If that's what it takes.
162
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,500
-Okay. Guys, ready?
-Yeah!
163
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:41,541
And one, two--
164
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,375
Oi!
165
00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:57,291
Fuck.
166
00:10:57,708 --> 00:11:01,500
BAMBI "THE WIDOW" TODI
167
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,791
Ma'am, are you fine?
168
00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:18,375
Guys, wait.
169
00:11:19,708 --> 00:11:22,625
How can you take the picture
without the prettiest girl in the club?
170
00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:28,500
-Dadi, how are you?
-I am cool!
171
00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:47,875
-Beta, so you belong now?
-Mom, let's focus on the photo.
172
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:50,458
Okay, guys,
no one else remaining? Ready?
173
00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:53,708
And one, two…
174
00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:59,833
♪ I endured your deceit… ♪
175
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:08,291
♪ Sipping tears
With a smile bittersweet ♪
176
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:13,333
♪ Breaking promises, deserting me ♪
177
00:12:13,416 --> 00:12:15,500
♪ You walked away ♪
178
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:18,583
♪ Baby ♪
179
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:21,958
♪ Innocent, naive baby ♪
180
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:27,625
♪ Breaking my heart, deserting me ♪
181
00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:33,166
♪ You walked away ♪
182
00:12:55,416 --> 00:12:56,625
Shalini.
183
00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:02,375
-Sir ji.
-Yeah?
184
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,208
May I drive, please?
185
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,375
No, Padam. It's on me.
186
00:13:06,625 --> 00:13:09,041
I made a solemn promise to Shalini,
187
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:12,458
before I came to Lucknow,
I would learn to parallel park my car.
188
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:14,041
Just ten days left.
189
00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:17,041
I too had made a solemn promise
that I would get married this year.
190
00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:19,541
Twenty-three girls I checked out,
on average, two per month.
191
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,458
But I haven't even printed invitations.
192
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:24,000
Because you are checking out the girls.
193
00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:25,916
You need to connect with them.
194
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,750
When connection happens,
the knots untangle themselves.
195
00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:33,041
Sir ji, connection is not going
to help you with your parallel parking.
196
00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:35,750
You need to move a little bit to the left.
Just a little bit.
197
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:38,041
-Just a little bit?
-Just a little bit, sir ji. Come.
198
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:40,000
Yeah, yeah. Coming.
199
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:42,208
Back up, sir ji, slowly.
200
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,958
Bloody asshole. Motherfucker!
201
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:48,375
Okay.
202
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:51,625
Hey, take it easy.
It's not the end of the world.
203
00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:53,500
-What's the problem?
-Hey, are you blind?
204
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,875
-You just hit my two-million car, bastard!
-You know what two million looks like?
205
00:13:56,958 --> 00:13:58,458
That piece of junk
is not worth ten rupees,
206
00:13:58,541 --> 00:13:59,500
forget about two million.
207
00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:01,416
Hey, old fuck,
do you have eyes or buttons, huh?
208
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,208
Now, sir, think of it as something
between the two.
209
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:05,958
-Step out. Out of the car!
-Coming, coming.
210
00:14:06,041 --> 00:14:07,750
Now, you're screwed.
I am lodging a complaint against you.
211
00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:09,666
-Sir, I'll drive you to the cops…
-You bloody mother--
212
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:10,708
Hey, hey, hey!
213
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:13,166
Just day before yesterday
he lost his mother.
214
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:17,708
-Oh. So sorry.
-Sir, do you know, this is Padam Kumar ji.
215
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:20,125
Do you have any idea what happened to him?
216
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:21,541
What happened, sir?
217
00:14:22,541 --> 00:14:24,583
He dreamed of joining the police force,
218
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:26,750
but then his eyesight
turned out to be poor.
219
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,375
He failed the examination.
220
00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:32,041
Now, to the elderly and to women,
he gives driving lessons.
221
00:14:32,208 --> 00:14:34,666
At night, he practices belly dancing.
222
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:38,333
His father was martyred
while on active police duty.
223
00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:40,083
My father?
224
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:44,666
Be kind to him.
225
00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:47,041
-Jai Hind, sir.
-It's all right.
226
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:50,083
Absolutely, no problem.
Sub-inspector Padam and I are free.
227
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:51,541
Practicing parallel parking.
228
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:54,041
Everyone, carry on, carry on.
Nothing to see here. Go.
229
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:56,041
-Which club, sir?
-Go, go, go.
230
00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:01,708
-Janab.
-Hmm?
231
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:03,250
How long do you think
this will take?
232
00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:05,000
It's Diwali night,
233
00:15:05,083 --> 00:15:08,250
and the movers and packers
will be awaiting your arrival.
234
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:11,041
And criminals, thieves
and murderers, my departure.
235
00:15:11,125 --> 00:15:13,583
Anyway, Chief sahib insisted
it won't drag on for long. It's an--
236
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:14,958
Open and shut case, guys.
237
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:18,000
Your work, my friend, can be so hard.
238
00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:21,625
Now, just see what a useless waste
of time. That too during Diwali.
239
00:15:22,375 --> 00:15:26,416
President sahib,
was it someone's birthday?
240
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:30,000
It was our Diwali Tambola night.
A raging success.
241
00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:32,833
Thirty lacs my club made.
242
00:15:34,208 --> 00:15:36,500
No. But the accident was sad.
243
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:39,416
Very sad.Come, please, come.
244
00:15:42,416 --> 00:15:45,583
The Royal Delhi Club
is one of the country's top-notch clubs.
245
00:15:45,708 --> 00:15:47,250
-Yes, yes. Of course.
-Very exclusive.
246
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:50,916
Even the presidents of India
have played golf at this club.
247
00:15:51,041 --> 00:15:52,125
There.
248
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:11,708
To become a member,
the fee is 19.9 million, plus GST.
249
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:16,458
And even if you can afford it,
the waiting period is minimum 20 years.
250
00:16:16,916 --> 00:16:19,666
Even after independence, for many years,
251
00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:22,875
only Britishers were allowed
exclusive membership.
252
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:26,875
Meaning not even other White people,
you see.
253
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:30,291
Wow!
254
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:33,416
We should be proud of something like that.
255
00:16:34,041 --> 00:16:36,208
Exactly.
256
00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:41,416
You won't find such a huge campus
anywhere else in India.
257
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:44,416
Isn't this the same club
258
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:47,041
that Highway Minister Ruhia ji
wanted to shut down?
259
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:51,166
The Highway Minister's loafer son
wore loafers and barged in here.
260
00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:53,250
Look, if you want to wear loafers,
261
00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:55,250
there's many cheap dhabbas
on the highway, go there.
262
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:59,500
We, very humbly, requested him,
"Kind sir, please wear formal shoes."
263
00:16:59,875 --> 00:17:03,166
Everybody has these kind of shoes,
isn't it? I have ten, 12 pairs myself.
264
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:06,041
-Prada, Gucci, everything.
-What? Pucchi?
265
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:09,708
He wouldn't listen.
We have 100-year-old rules.
266
00:17:09,791 --> 00:17:12,000
-A hundred years.
-Rules are rules.
267
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,666
Look,
even they understand this much.
268
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:18,125
Those loafers should've been on his head
instead of his feet.
269
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:19,833
-Yeah, you're right!
-And that was it.
270
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,791
Within 30 minutes,
he had a hashtag trending.
271
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,458
#SlavestotheBritishRDC.
272
00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:27,041
#AntiNationalRDC.
273
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:28,250
Anti-national?
274
00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:32,625
Yes, these days, being anti-national
doesn't require much effort from anyone.
275
00:17:34,833 --> 00:17:39,041
Boy! Boy!
276
00:17:43,791 --> 00:17:45,458
Boy, get my cushion, no!
277
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:48,416
Come on, fast.
278
00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:58,375
-Hey, you!
-Sir.
279
00:17:58,541 --> 00:18:00,416
Who gave you permission
to use the member’s washroom?
280
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,041
Sorry, sir.
281
00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:08,708
Don't mind, sir.
282
00:18:08,791 --> 00:18:11,458
Normally, this doesn't happen.
Rules are rules.
283
00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:15,500
This is a community bar.
Those kinds aren't allowed here either.
284
00:18:17,916 --> 00:18:19,458
-It's done.
-Move, move.
285
00:18:19,583 --> 00:18:20,666
Please come. Please come.
286
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:23,166
There's elections in three days,
and he had to die today!
287
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,708
-Please, ACP.
-Oh, no, sir…
288
00:18:25,541 --> 00:18:27,916
Myself, SI Padam Kumar. The ACP…
289
00:18:29,083 --> 00:18:31,041
Sir ji? Sir ji?
290
00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:32,625
Hmm?
291
00:18:33,875 --> 00:18:35,041
-Sir ji.
-Yeah?
292
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,333
ACP Bhavani Singh.
293
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,375
Never mind, never mind. Come.
294
00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:59,750
Leo Matthews.
Zumba trainer. So sad.
295
00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:04,833
It was quick.
296
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,875
The barbell slipped out
of the deceased's hands,
297
00:19:08,375 --> 00:19:11,125
fell on his windpipe,
and fatally fractured his neck.
298
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,625
Time of death?
299
00:19:13,541 --> 00:19:15,083
Between 5:00 and 7:00 a.m.
300
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:18,916
The exact time can only be determined
by an autopsy,
301
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,666
but in such clear accident cases,
an autopsy is unnecessary.
302
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:24,333
Apparently, he an orphan.
303
00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:27,666
Let me try and find his address. Mithun!
304
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:32,833
All right, Doctor sahib.
305
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:36,750
You and President sahib sign these forms,
and we'll be done.
306
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:38,375
We'll have the body picked.
307
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,500
President sahib!
308
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,291
Can we get a glimpse of this CCTV footage?
309
00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:48,125
Why's that necessary?
310
00:19:48,541 --> 00:19:49,791
Just a glimpse.
311
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:53,125
That's Raja sahib.
Ranvijay Singh.
312
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,958
One of our most esteemed members.
313
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,625
From the royal family
of Achingad.
314
00:19:58,958 --> 00:20:01,333
And that's gym trainer, Thinsuk.
315
00:20:01,791 --> 00:20:03,083
No, maybe it's Theju.
316
00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:05,875
They both look like they came
out of the same mold.
317
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,166
Hmm.
318
00:20:11,916 --> 00:20:14,791
I am sure these camera angles
have blind spots.
319
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:17,541
-What's that, sir?
-Nothing.
320
00:20:20,666 --> 00:20:22,083
Pause, pause, pause.
321
00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:27,250
That's the same sky-blue-colored bottle
that was found near the body.
322
00:20:39,125 --> 00:20:40,291
Oh, bhai!
323
00:20:40,541 --> 00:20:42,708
When the balloons waltzed
in front of the CCTV,
324
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:44,750
what dance were you dancing, huh?
325
00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:47,666
-Normally, it doesn't happen.
-Hmm.
326
00:20:53,916 --> 00:20:55,541
You need to check the color
of the balloons?
327
00:20:55,625 --> 00:20:56,958
Oh, pause, pause, pause!
328
00:20:58,708 --> 00:20:59,958
The tail of a cat.
329
00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:05,458
-Prince Harry.
-Prince Harry?
330
00:21:06,958 --> 00:21:08,458
Prince Harry.
331
00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:12,208
For the past 100 years,
we have named every pet in the club
332
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:15,208
after members of the British royal family
as a tradition.
333
00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:19,166
You see, this club was built
to commemorate King George's arrival.
334
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:22,166
-Hmm.
-Now, he couldn't come here. Busy man.
335
00:21:22,750 --> 00:21:26,625
But even so, to this day,
that family means everything to us.
336
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:30,875
Wow, they must be bursting with pride.
337
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:34,500
-Exactly.
-Mmm…
338
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:37,666
Now, what do we do about this, ACP?
339
00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:40,375
Will your people clear this or should we?
340
00:21:40,791 --> 00:21:43,000
After all, the members also need
to use the gym.
341
00:21:43,208 --> 00:21:44,458
President sahib.
342
00:21:45,208 --> 00:21:47,250
What you have witnessed
is not an accident…
343
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,333
-but a murder.
-No, no, no, no, no.
344
00:21:50,916 --> 00:21:52,833
Murders are strictly not allowed
in my club.
345
00:21:53,666 --> 00:21:56,083
Our members are all respected people and--
346
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:58,833
And they all have my respect.
347
00:22:00,583 --> 00:22:02,541
CCTV covered by balloons,
348
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:04,875
Hariya ji's condition,
349
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:08,166
and that fainting feeling in my belly,
350
00:22:08,708 --> 00:22:11,708
they all say Leo ji has been murdered.
351
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,833
So, who was the first one
to lay eyes on Leo ji's body?
352
00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:23,208
-Sir…
-Um…
353
00:22:23,583 --> 00:22:25,958
I don't think we should speak
without our lawyers.
354
00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:29,625
-Yeah.
-Whatever you deem fit.
355
00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:33,291
Yes, sir?
356
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:41,500
-Yes, sir?
-My apologies. Thank you.
357
00:22:41,791 --> 00:22:43,583
I…
358
00:22:45,291 --> 00:22:49,166
I am so upset, so upset.
359
00:22:49,791 --> 00:22:51,416
I've been drinking since morning.
360
00:22:51,541 --> 00:22:54,875
Relax, Cooks.
We will get a new Zumba trainer.
361
00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:57,833
Dime a dozen.
Who cares about Zumba?
362
00:23:01,125 --> 00:23:05,166
Uh… Original. Cookie Katoch Cocktail.
363
00:23:06,291 --> 00:23:10,625
COOKIE "COCKTAIL" KATOCH
364
00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:14,166
-Beetroot juice and little tequila.
-I see.
365
00:23:14,375 --> 00:23:18,000
Oh, jeez! Nirmal already uploaded
a memorial photo.
366
00:23:18,208 --> 00:23:20,958
-What a phot of her with Leo, shit!
-What? Show me. Show me.
367
00:23:21,666 --> 00:23:25,125
Oh, my God! Look at that lip job.
368
00:23:25,208 --> 00:23:26,375
Show!
369
00:23:26,458 --> 00:23:29,416
Bloody bitch. She'll never
tell us who she went to, isn't it?
370
00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:32,000
You can ask her. She's your friend.
371
00:23:32,375 --> 00:23:33,458
Go ask.
372
00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:38,208
So, as I was talking
about Leo ji's dead body…
373
00:23:44,416 --> 00:23:48,250
-You can't imagine.
-Hmm.
374
00:23:50,791 --> 00:23:54,333
Oh, my God! Oh, look, I've got goosebumps.
375
00:23:54,416 --> 00:23:55,875
Hmm.
376
00:23:57,208 --> 00:24:00,375
-Rosh! We need to go for waxing!
-Sure.
377
00:24:00,458 --> 00:24:02,916
No, but listen, during Diwali,
Cinderella is just too crowded.
378
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,333
-I am not going. I am not going.
-Let's go to the club parlor then.
379
00:24:06,416 --> 00:24:08,958
-We will give Ganga a hundred or two.
-Babe…
380
00:24:10,625 --> 00:24:13,625
Dead body, madam. Dead body.
381
00:24:13,833 --> 00:24:14,875
Whose?
382
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:16,958
That's exactly
what I was telling you about.
383
00:24:17,625 --> 00:24:20,416
At seven o'clock,
the three of us went to the gym.
384
00:24:20,541 --> 00:24:22,666
A three-tier strawberry cake
and under it a dead body?
385
00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:25,583
-And that was only the appetizer, Cooks!
-Oh!
386
00:24:26,041 --> 00:24:28,750
After that,
what happened on Tambola night,
387
00:24:28,875 --> 00:24:31,291
I'm telling you,
you're gonna go crazy listening to that.
388
00:24:31,375 --> 00:24:33,291
Cooks Aunty, why didn't you come?
389
00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:35,708
One too many Patiala pegs or what?
390
00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:39,625
No, no, beta.
Katoch sahib was all hot and horny.
391
00:24:39,791 --> 00:24:41,833
That was it, you know, right?
392
00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:43,375
He's like a…
393
00:24:44,125 --> 00:24:45,708
horse in bed.
394
00:24:45,916 --> 00:24:48,958
Thanks to him, I always miss out
on the action in the club.
395
00:24:49,625 --> 00:24:51,458
Come on, girls. Let's go for it.
396
00:25:10,666 --> 00:25:11,916
Oh! Sorry.
397
00:25:22,625 --> 00:25:24,375
-What are you doing?
-What?
398
00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:26,625
-What am I doing, huh?
-What are you doing?
399
00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:29,708
-My napkin fell down, that's it.
-Your napkin fell down?
400
00:25:29,875 --> 00:25:32,125
-Rosh, don't look at me like that.
-Cooks, I know you.
401
00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:33,583
-No you have a wild imagination.
-Cooks…
402
00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,000
-Guys…
-It's just gossip, okay?
403
00:25:35,083 --> 00:25:35,958
Guys!
404
00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:37,458
-What?
-What?
405
00:25:39,541 --> 00:25:41,541
Cooks… Cooks, he's dead.
406
00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:43,458
Are you calling the police?
407
00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:44,916
Obvio.
408
00:25:46,958 --> 00:25:48,458
Look at him, my poor Leo.
409
00:25:48,916 --> 00:25:50,791
And, oh, those thighs…
410
00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:52,791
What a waste.
411
00:25:53,375 --> 00:25:56,833
Oh, how I lusted after them.
412
00:26:02,041 --> 00:26:04,916
Is it that easy to just kill someone
and get away with it?
413
00:26:05,166 --> 00:26:10,333
Not really, it's extremely nerve-wracking,
even for the most seasoned criminals.
414
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:12,833
So the BMR must be going
through the roof, na?
415
00:26:13,458 --> 00:26:16,375
Two, three kilos must be lost
just by sweating, right?
416
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,666
What? Then I should definitely consider
murdering someone!
417
00:26:19,916 --> 00:26:22,791
I'll lose some of my belly fat,
my hips will get into shape as well.
418
00:26:22,875 --> 00:26:24,208
-Excellent idea.
-Madam, madam,
419
00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:26,666
you were just saying
that under the strawberry cake
420
00:26:26,791 --> 00:26:30,416
-you found somebody's body? Whose body?
-That was his.
421
00:26:38,291 --> 00:26:41,500
Who'd murder this guy?
422
00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:46,791
Guys, it's not funny.
423
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,083
Guys, it's not funny.
424
00:26:51,083 --> 00:26:52,125
Cooks Aunty, stop it!
425
00:26:58,041 --> 00:26:59,375
Sir, he's demented.
426
00:27:00,541 --> 00:27:02,708
Is that blood?
427
00:27:05,166 --> 00:27:06,333
Yuck!
428
00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:09,958
Relax, guys.
It's strawberry sauce.
429
00:27:10,041 --> 00:27:12,958
-Oh!
-Oh, my God. Come on.
430
00:27:13,041 --> 00:27:15,083
During all this,
where was Leo ji?
431
00:27:15,208 --> 00:27:16,833
Leo was hosting the Tambola.
432
00:27:17,083 --> 00:27:20,125
When the lady is flirty at three and zero…
433
00:27:21,916 --> 00:27:22,833
Thirty.
434
00:27:23,250 --> 00:27:24,333
Jaldi five!
435
00:27:26,541 --> 00:27:27,583
Come on.
436
00:27:27,666 --> 00:27:28,791
The scoop is…
437
00:27:29,208 --> 00:27:33,208
Leo was Shehnaz Noorani's
latest astronaut.
438
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:34,875
Congratulations!
439
00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:36,916
Astronaut, madam?
440
00:27:37,750 --> 00:27:42,416
If Shehnaz is the moon,
then astronauts will be there, right?
441
00:27:44,291 --> 00:27:50,458
Astronaut… Is she the famous actress,
Shehnaz Noorani, by any chance?
442
00:27:50,708 --> 00:27:54,708
-A C-grade heroine of B-grade films.
-Hmm!
443
00:27:55,083 --> 00:27:59,500
Two husbands she's divorced already.
Pocketed a fat alimony from both,
444
00:27:59,666 --> 00:28:02,208
and has come and plonked herself
in our Delhi. Bloody witch!
445
00:28:02,583 --> 00:28:06,375
Since then, a whole bunch of astronauts
have landed on the moon.
446
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:08,500
You know what I mean?
447
00:28:09,458 --> 00:28:11,625
So you were watching
through a telescope, Rosh Aunty?
448
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:20,500
And the fat magnet,
always late. Six and eight, 68!
449
00:28:20,708 --> 00:28:23,375
Full house! Full house!
450
00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:26,791
And after that
is when the real commotion started.
451
00:28:26,916 --> 00:28:28,791
-Mine as well!
-And Leo said…
452
00:28:28,958 --> 00:28:30,500
Two fat magnets?
453
00:28:31,958 --> 00:28:32,875
Arey!
454
00:28:33,041 --> 00:28:35,791
It's all a scam.
How can there be two full houses?
455
00:28:35,875 --> 00:28:37,583
-This old bugger is cheating.
-Show me your ticket.
456
00:28:37,666 --> 00:28:39,458
-Listen, you get back!
-Arey, take it easy, uncle.
457
00:28:39,541 --> 00:28:40,750
What are you doing to him?
458
00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:43,666
Hey, who you calling "uncle"?
459
00:28:43,791 --> 00:28:47,333
Bloody item number, PT teacher. Gigolo!
460
00:28:47,541 --> 00:28:49,208
-Just wait.
-Who do you think you are?
461
00:28:49,375 --> 00:28:51,166
Worms crawling out of the bloody gutter.
462
00:28:51,291 --> 00:28:52,500
Rats!
463
00:28:53,250 --> 00:28:54,875
He said rats, I'm sure.
464
00:28:55,833 --> 00:28:57,791
Rats crawling out of the bloody gutter.
465
00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:01,083
Cooks, yaar.
You were not even there, right?
466
00:29:01,208 --> 00:29:03,541
Okay, so then you do all the talking.
Keep on yakking.
467
00:29:03,625 --> 00:29:05,416
You don't need me for this.
I am out of here.
468
00:29:06,041 --> 00:29:07,250
Anyways…
469
00:29:08,333 --> 00:29:11,458
after that, that Dogra boy
arrived on the scene…
470
00:29:13,291 --> 00:29:15,166
Cockroaches crawling out
of the bloody gutter.
471
00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:16,416
Guys!
472
00:29:17,375 --> 00:29:19,833
-I am Leo Matthews's lawyer, okay?
-Pause, pause, pause.
473
00:29:21,708 --> 00:29:24,583
So Leo ji's lawyer
was at the Tambola night that day?
474
00:29:24,750 --> 00:29:28,041
Everyone, move aside, move aside.
Akash bhaiya, I'll lose my job.
475
00:29:28,125 --> 00:29:29,583
You had to come to court on a holiday.
476
00:29:29,666 --> 00:29:31,375
Just 30 seconds more, 30 seconds.
477
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:32,750
-Yeah, please hurry.
-Okay, listen.
478
00:29:32,916 --> 00:29:35,583
The judge will ask for a blood test.
Carry the report with you.
479
00:29:35,708 --> 00:29:37,208
This lab is not expensive.
480
00:29:43,458 --> 00:29:45,083
One second, one second.
481
00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:49,166
Akash, Leo has been murdered.
482
00:29:49,416 --> 00:29:51,708
-That MC?
-Yeah.
483
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:54,916
The police wants to talk to you.
484
00:29:58,875 --> 00:30:00,833
It's Diwali, yaar.
I am going back to Kolkata.
485
00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:02,833
I've to catch a flight in two hours.
486
00:30:05,125 --> 00:30:06,625
Your girlfriend lives with you there?
487
00:30:08,833 --> 00:30:09,833
Koohu.
488
00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:11,333
Koohu?
489
00:30:13,083 --> 00:30:14,625
Sounds like a bird's name.
490
00:30:16,125 --> 00:30:17,416
Can't help it.
491
00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:20,625
Maybe I am destined to end up
with girls with weird names,
492
00:30:20,916 --> 00:30:21,916
Bambi.
493
00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:31,333
Sir, this Leo, I mean, the deceased,
I met him just once.
494
00:30:31,416 --> 00:30:33,833
What's going on?
Why are the cops here?
495
00:30:33,958 --> 00:30:35,791
He's been here for the last two hours.
Get him out!
496
00:30:36,166 --> 00:30:37,458
About three years ago.
497
00:30:37,666 --> 00:30:41,291
-It was just a minor case.
-Hmm. What sort of case was it?
498
00:30:41,916 --> 00:30:45,000
-Cocaine.
-Hmm.
499
00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:47,916
A few minors
from an orphanage were involved.
500
00:30:49,083 --> 00:30:51,125
The orphanage warden was also arrested.
501
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:53,250
He had a slight limp.
502
00:30:53,375 --> 00:30:58,375
But didn't you proclaim in the presence
of Maharaja Rannvijay Singh
503
00:30:58,500 --> 00:31:00,833
that you are Leo ji's lawyer?
504
00:31:02,833 --> 00:31:03,875
Sir…
505
00:31:04,458 --> 00:31:07,000
-people in this club fear only two things.
-I mean, this is too much.
506
00:31:07,083 --> 00:31:09,625
-Don't worry, sir, I'll handle it.
-Taxes and lawyers.
507
00:31:09,750 --> 00:31:12,791
So I felt Raja ji should
be brought before the court.
508
00:31:12,916 --> 00:31:14,125
I represent Leo Matthews,
509
00:31:14,375 --> 00:31:17,000
and if he wants, he can sue you
and this club for slander,
510
00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:19,416
criminal intimidation
and workplace harassment.
511
00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:21,333
-Okay.
-Let it go, Raja sahib.
512
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:24,083
We can divide the winnings.
It's okay, I don't mind.
513
00:31:24,166 --> 00:31:26,541
That's exactly what I am trying to say.
Share and care na, yaar, uncle.
514
00:31:26,708 --> 00:31:29,250
Raja sahib never shares his bounty.
515
00:31:30,541 --> 00:31:32,541
-Why the smirk?
-Why are you bullshitting, Hukum?
516
00:31:36,791 --> 00:31:38,541
Come, come! You wanna fight? Come!
517
00:31:58,041 --> 00:31:59,541
♪ Baby ♪
518
00:31:59,750 --> 00:32:02,333
♪ Innocent, naive baby ♪
519
00:32:02,458 --> 00:32:07,666
♪ Breaking my heart, deserting me
You walked away ♪
520
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:12,458
♪ I endured your deceit ♪
521
00:32:12,541 --> 00:32:16,666
♪ Sipping tears
With a smile bittersweet ♪
522
00:32:16,791 --> 00:32:21,375
♪ Breaking promises, deserting me
You walked away ♪
523
00:32:22,166 --> 00:32:24,583
♪ Baby… ♪
524
00:32:53,416 --> 00:32:55,916
And in the middle of this chaos,
Bambi was dancing.
525
00:32:58,583 --> 00:33:00,500
Only Bambi is capable
of something like this.
526
00:33:08,291 --> 00:33:10,208
-Upwards?
-Yeah, upwards.
527
00:33:10,375 --> 00:33:11,791
♪ Baby ♪
528
00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:15,250
♪ Innocent, naive baby ♪
529
00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:20,958
♪ Breaking my heart, deserting me ♪
530
00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:27,416
♪ You walked away ♪
531
00:33:27,916 --> 00:33:31,416
They have given us this junkyard
to conduct our interrogation.
532
00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:34,708
Sir ji, that bloody asshole, Bhatti…
533
00:33:36,416 --> 00:33:39,041
Hm. Mm-hmm.
534
00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:41,625
If you're done
with cleaning, then Happy Diwali!
535
00:33:44,083 --> 00:33:45,416
Happy Diwali, sir.
536
00:33:45,583 --> 00:33:47,583
President sahib
is of the opinion
537
00:33:47,708 --> 00:33:51,833
that at least one of you was responsible
for making a protein shake.
538
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:55,000
But he is unable to say, for certain, who.
539
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:57,333
Sir, do you think we both look the same?
540
00:34:01,541 --> 00:34:04,500
Yes, I made the protein shake.
Yeah. So?
541
00:34:05,041 --> 00:34:07,333
He's also the one
who placed weights on the barbells.
542
00:34:07,875 --> 00:34:09,083
You always complain about me.
543
00:34:09,416 --> 00:34:12,125
Sir, this Leo fellow,
he does nothing by himself, sir.
544
00:34:12,291 --> 00:34:13,958
He thinks he is over and above us.
545
00:34:14,458 --> 00:34:15,375
Was.
546
00:34:15,625 --> 00:34:17,833
Only him, sir. He had a problem with Leo.
547
00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:20,541
Sir, he used to make way more money
than us.
548
00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:23,083
Plus, all the ladies
demanded only him, sir.
549
00:34:23,458 --> 00:34:26,166
Hey, I am not interested
in those "aunty.coms."
550
00:34:26,833 --> 00:34:30,291
Sir, my girlfriend is 50 times
more beautiful than them.
551
00:34:30,708 --> 00:34:32,916
Wait, I will show you the photo, sir.
Wait, sir.
552
00:34:34,541 --> 00:34:35,541
Minu, sir.
553
00:34:36,041 --> 00:34:37,916
Did Leo ji
and you know each other?
554
00:34:40,166 --> 00:34:42,000
Just hi, bye type.
555
00:34:42,083 --> 00:34:45,833
MINU "THE CHEAT" DIMRI
556
00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:51,750
Thank you.
557
00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:54,541
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
558
00:34:54,708 --> 00:34:57,166
Actually, that aqua aerobics
was my idea, sir.
559
00:34:57,291 --> 00:34:59,791
That Leo, he even snatched
that from me, sir.
560
00:34:59,916 --> 00:35:02,791
-Aqua…
-Aqua aerobics, Padam.
561
00:35:02,875 --> 00:35:04,833
-Water exercises.
-Oh.
562
00:35:04,958 --> 00:35:07,875
That was your idea?
Then Leo stole it from you?
563
00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:19,916
Bambi!
564
00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:21,666
Bambi!
565
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:28,708
You're didn't go, huh?
566
00:35:30,666 --> 00:35:34,625
So, there's a small village north
of Kolkata, it got hit by a cyclone.
567
00:35:35,458 --> 00:35:38,541
There's a primary school
where the, uh, roof caved in.
568
00:35:39,166 --> 00:35:41,166
So, Koohu's gone there
with her volunteer friends.
569
00:35:41,291 --> 00:35:42,333
Shush!
570
00:35:45,208 --> 00:35:46,416
You didn't go.
571
00:36:03,916 --> 00:36:05,000
Dream girl.
572
00:36:05,541 --> 00:36:08,166
All the girls at the club's beauty parlor
are called dream girls.
573
00:36:16,791 --> 00:36:18,041
Hair tong burns.
574
00:36:18,666 --> 00:36:20,416
All the curly haired members
want straight hair,
575
00:36:20,500 --> 00:36:21,958
and the straight haired want curls.
576
00:36:22,083 --> 00:36:25,333
Hmm. Did Leo and you know each other well?
577
00:36:33,333 --> 00:36:35,916
Kitchen, waitering, gardening,
578
00:36:36,750 --> 00:36:39,500
in fact, I even babysit the kids
of some of the club members.
579
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,041
I know who was the one who killed Leo.
580
00:36:44,208 --> 00:36:45,833
The cold gets into your bones.
581
00:36:46,208 --> 00:36:48,750
Back in Garhwal, you know,
there was once this man,
582
00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:50,750
walking with an axe on his shoulder.
583
00:36:50,833 --> 00:36:53,250
Shivering thur, thur, thur, thur
in the bitter cold.
584
00:36:53,416 --> 00:36:56,833
Then suddenly, he sneezed violently,
and the axe chopped his head off.
585
00:36:58,375 --> 00:36:59,583
And after that…
586
00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:03,208
He would always say
such weird, nonsensical things
587
00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:05,625
that he ended up
with the nickname "Guppie Ram."
588
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:09,000
But after he was diagnosed with dementia,
589
00:37:09,666 --> 00:37:12,583
it's hard to tell whether Guppie ji
is chatting with you
590
00:37:12,708 --> 00:37:15,625
or if the voices in his head
are chatting with him.
591
00:37:18,958 --> 00:37:20,333
Don't you miss…
592
00:37:22,458 --> 00:37:23,583
this place?
593
00:37:27,125 --> 00:37:29,916
This is the exact spot
where 19 years ago…
594
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,750
…I first laid eyes on the Bambi Todi.
595
00:37:35,458 --> 00:37:38,291
And I was four inches
taller than you.
596
00:37:39,166 --> 00:37:41,041
When you put on this entire drowning act,
597
00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:42,583
-just to get me to rescue you.
-Please!
598
00:37:42,791 --> 00:37:44,666
Even if I were really drowning,
599
00:37:45,666 --> 00:37:48,041
times weren't so bad
that I'd have a crush on you!
600
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:01,375
That's for you.
Congratulations!
601
00:38:01,458 --> 00:38:05,416
♪ The more I try to forget you ♪
602
00:38:06,541 --> 00:38:10,833
♪ The more you come to mind ♪
603
00:38:10,916 --> 00:38:15,625
♪ The more I try to forget you… ♪
604
00:38:16,375 --> 00:38:17,458
Akash.
605
00:38:17,541 --> 00:38:19,791
♪ I remember you just as much… ♪
606
00:38:20,291 --> 00:38:22,541
What do you want from me?
Why did you call me here?
607
00:38:22,625 --> 00:38:24,750
-I need to talk to you.
-What do you wanna talk about?
608
00:38:26,041 --> 00:38:27,500
What do you want to talk about? Tell me.
609
00:38:27,625 --> 00:38:29,291
-Something really important--
-Bambi!
610
00:38:30,291 --> 00:38:31,750
-Can you come here, please?
-Where the hell, yaar?
611
00:38:32,125 --> 00:38:34,000
One second, just wait. Please wait for me.
612
00:38:36,375 --> 00:38:40,500
♪ As much as I try to console my heart ♪
613
00:38:40,583 --> 00:38:43,291
Happy anniversary, Bambi and Anshul!
614
00:38:43,375 --> 00:38:46,375
♪ I remember you just as much ♪
615
00:38:46,750 --> 00:38:51,666
♪ As much as I try to console my heart ♪
616
00:38:52,291 --> 00:38:55,208
♪ My life slips away ♪
617
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,791
"Darling, are you okay?"
618
00:38:59,208 --> 00:39:01,791
Mom just needs an excuse
to send me this text.
619
00:39:04,083 --> 00:39:05,166
Since I am a widow.
620
00:39:11,625 --> 00:39:13,583
I was planning to come to meet you but…
621
00:39:14,541 --> 00:39:18,083
Mommy said that you and Anshul's mom
622
00:39:18,333 --> 00:39:21,250
had gone to Manali to look for the body.
623
00:39:22,333 --> 00:39:23,708
You could have come after.
624
00:39:26,833 --> 00:39:29,083
Fine, forget that.
One call in three years?
625
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,250
You could have
at least called once, Dogra.
626
00:39:37,916 --> 00:39:39,583
I still remember that phone call.
627
00:39:41,083 --> 00:39:45,250
The police said only 21 bodies were found.
628
00:39:46,625 --> 00:39:47,791
They said four…
629
00:39:50,750 --> 00:39:54,125
four bodies probably got washed away
in the river.
630
00:39:57,125 --> 00:39:58,375
Couldn't believe my luck.
631
00:40:00,041 --> 00:40:02,750
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
The rumors were true!
632
00:40:03,041 --> 00:40:07,666
The great Akash Dogra abandoned
his bogus fight against the class system
633
00:40:07,916 --> 00:40:11,166
to go to The Royal Delhi pool
to take a dip.
634
00:40:11,291 --> 00:40:13,000
Have you heard about the Batra boy?
635
00:40:13,333 --> 00:40:14,625
The one who went to rehab?
636
00:40:15,083 --> 00:40:18,250
And ended up teaching the staff
how to take drugs, up the ass?
637
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:19,791
-Hey, fucker!
-Asshole!
638
00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:21,791
-Bloody prick!
-Lord of the pricks!
639
00:40:23,833 --> 00:40:27,541
Fucker, I've been clean ten months.
Your bro hasn't even touched a cigarette.
640
00:40:27,666 --> 00:40:29,125
What the fuck!
641
00:40:29,875 --> 00:40:32,250
Fuck you, yaar, Bambi!
642
00:40:33,791 --> 00:40:35,416
Sorry, yaar, Batra.
643
00:40:36,416 --> 00:40:39,208
-Yaar, I dropped my phone, yaar!
-Oh, shit.
644
00:40:40,250 --> 00:40:43,375
-Fucking assholes!
-Call me when you get home.
645
00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:46,041
One of those two trainers
must have done it,
646
00:40:46,125 --> 00:40:47,375
-who else?
-Hmm.
647
00:40:47,458 --> 00:40:49,291
They keep fighting
among themselves.
648
00:40:49,541 --> 00:40:51,583
Theju, Theja, whoever they are.
649
00:40:51,958 --> 00:40:53,166
They both look the same.
650
00:40:53,250 --> 00:40:58,708
No, no. Theju ji is from Karnataka,
Thinsuk ji is from Arunachal Pradesh, so…
651
00:40:58,958 --> 00:41:01,250
Exactly! Whatever.
652
00:41:01,833 --> 00:41:03,750
These British-era club members,
653
00:41:03,833 --> 00:41:06,541
do they consider themselves
the direct defendants of the British?
654
00:41:06,625 --> 00:41:09,500
God knows these so-called liberals…
655
00:41:09,625 --> 00:41:14,000
what other nefarious activities
besides murder they could be involved in
656
00:41:14,083 --> 00:41:15,708
behind those four walls.
657
00:41:15,791 --> 00:41:19,000
If this case
doesn't get investigated thoroughly,
658
00:41:19,541 --> 00:41:21,833
then we'll have to take matters
into our own hands.
659
00:41:22,083 --> 00:41:24,375
Just shut up! Pig!
660
00:41:24,583 --> 00:41:28,458
If this case isn't closed pronto,
our club will be closed down by then.
661
00:41:28,708 --> 00:41:29,833
Ten days.
662
00:41:30,458 --> 00:41:32,416
Would that be pronto enough for you?
663
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,750
I'll adjust.
664
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,083
Thank you!
665
00:41:37,666 --> 00:41:38,750
Let's go!
666
00:42:55,416 --> 00:42:58,083
All my male tenants
eventually move out of here and leave,
667
00:42:58,166 --> 00:43:00,416
but the taste of my chai
they'll never ever forget!
668
00:43:00,625 --> 00:43:03,291
They don't forget me either.
669
00:43:05,125 --> 00:43:08,375
Until the ginger is ground
and the tea simmers for a long time,
670
00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,583
you don't feel like slurping it all up.
671
00:43:11,750 --> 00:43:13,000
Now, watch.
672
00:43:14,916 --> 00:43:16,458
Aren't you also from Haryana?
673
00:43:17,375 --> 00:43:19,333
I can tell just by looking
at your moustache.
674
00:43:20,250 --> 00:43:22,416
Cool Jutt boys!
675
00:43:22,583 --> 00:43:25,458
♪ Jutt boys ♪
676
00:43:26,125 --> 00:43:30,208
What energy those Haryanvi songs have.
Hindi songs don't have that charm.
677
00:43:30,791 --> 00:43:32,791
This is the first time
police have come to my house.
678
00:43:33,083 --> 00:43:34,708
We must take a selfie, sir!
679
00:43:35,625 --> 00:43:36,750
Come, sir, come!
680
00:43:37,791 --> 00:43:39,458
Smile, please!
681
00:43:39,666 --> 00:43:41,375
Anything else
you need me to get you?
682
00:43:41,458 --> 00:43:43,041
-Sir!
-Sir!
683
00:43:43,125 --> 00:43:44,541
You think this is your aunty's home?
684
00:43:46,083 --> 00:43:49,750
Now, watch my tea get stronger
and special!
685
00:43:51,958 --> 00:43:53,958
-Let's go upstairs.
-What?
686
00:43:54,583 --> 00:43:57,083
-Leo ji's room.
-Yeah, sure.
687
00:43:59,083 --> 00:44:01,458
-You know, sir, I've been…
-I will deal with you guys later.
688
00:44:01,666 --> 00:44:03,291
Sometimes I've to feed
your constables.
689
00:44:03,375 --> 00:44:04,958
Sometimes I've to make tea for everyone.
690
00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:07,625
One thing I tell you, sir,
our guests are like family.
691
00:44:09,291 --> 00:44:10,375
Oh, bloody!
692
00:44:12,875 --> 00:44:14,666
Everything was fine this morning.
693
00:44:16,625 --> 00:44:18,875
Your constables must have messed it up.
694
00:44:19,166 --> 00:44:21,833
No one else has come up since morning.
695
00:44:21,958 --> 00:44:24,041
You two be ready
for some serious disciplinary action.
696
00:44:24,166 --> 00:44:25,500
Get lost! Go!
697
00:44:25,583 --> 00:44:27,333
-Sir, sorry, sir.
-Sorry, sir!
698
00:44:27,458 --> 00:44:30,083
Sir, what are these pictures for?
699
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,666
These aren't
just pictures, Padam.
700
00:44:32,791 --> 00:44:34,708
They are crucial evidences for the case.
701
00:44:34,958 --> 00:44:37,166
Madam, in all of this mess,
702
00:44:37,250 --> 00:44:38,791
do you feel like
there's something missing?
703
00:44:39,666 --> 00:44:41,666
He used to have this thing with him, um…
704
00:44:42,541 --> 00:44:44,166
You know, that thing which is big?
705
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,083
A computer, a phone, something like that.
706
00:44:47,208 --> 00:44:48,166
Trimmer.
707
00:44:48,333 --> 00:44:50,000
-Tablet.
-Yes, that one.
708
00:44:50,125 --> 00:44:51,541
It was a red-colored tablet.
709
00:44:52,333 --> 00:44:55,875
All day long, he'd sit with that tablet
and keep watching films he'd made himself.
710
00:44:56,458 --> 00:44:57,791
He was also a filmmaker?
711
00:44:58,666 --> 00:45:00,208
-Padam.
-Yes, sir.
712
00:45:00,833 --> 00:45:06,416
Leo ji seems to be a spontaneous
and philandering kind of personality.
713
00:45:08,166 --> 00:45:09,583
Wait a minute.
714
00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:13,958
That's mine.
715
00:45:15,916 --> 00:45:18,166
I used to come up here all the time.
I must have dropped it.
716
00:45:19,166 --> 00:45:21,333
Uncle, would you please hook me up?
717
00:45:25,291 --> 00:45:26,416
Come on!
718
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:34,625
But, sir, why don't you wear a uniform?
719
00:45:34,833 --> 00:45:37,708
The uniform creates a barrier
between us and the people, Padam.
720
00:45:38,083 --> 00:45:42,583
Once that barrier is broken,
I… I just become one of them.
721
00:45:42,833 --> 00:45:45,250
Then they might let out
a tiny little detail
722
00:45:45,625 --> 00:45:47,416
which they wouldn't in front of a baton.
723
00:45:47,791 --> 00:45:50,500
What are you saying, sir!
That baton has a magic wand!
724
00:45:50,875 --> 00:45:52,250
To each their own.
725
00:45:59,916 --> 00:46:01,458
Kashi, I need to tell you something.
726
00:46:02,416 --> 00:46:04,500
-Leo was blackmailing me.
-What?
727
00:46:12,208 --> 00:46:14,500
Bambi, you stole the glasses
from the ACP?
728
00:46:14,625 --> 00:46:17,166
-Yes.
-You're still doing it?
729
00:46:17,833 --> 00:46:19,333
I had given it up for a bit.
730
00:46:22,166 --> 00:46:24,583
But after Anshul's accident, I was…
731
00:46:25,416 --> 00:46:27,666
-I don't know, it started again.
-Started again?
732
00:46:28,250 --> 00:46:29,791
Anything, anywhere, I just nick it.
733
00:46:30,291 --> 00:46:32,125
Honestly, Kashi, I don't even realize!
734
00:46:32,208 --> 00:46:37,416
Frames, gold bangles,
toilet paper, dentures!
735
00:46:37,500 --> 00:46:39,708
-Why?
-Dentures?
736
00:46:41,708 --> 00:46:42,791
Just once.
737
00:46:44,625 --> 00:46:45,875
Bambi, yaar!
738
00:46:46,541 --> 00:46:49,833
Half my life I've spent in returning
the things you've stolen, yaar.
739
00:46:52,125 --> 00:46:54,625
But this time you weren't there, right?
740
00:46:59,958 --> 00:47:01,083
So, what now?
741
00:47:01,875 --> 00:47:03,250
Should we tell the Hindi professor?
742
00:47:03,333 --> 00:47:05,208
Not tell him,
we have to return this to him.
743
00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:06,291
Bambi.
744
00:47:07,750 --> 00:47:09,125
I don't trust you. Give it to me.
745
00:47:09,875 --> 00:47:10,916
Give it!
746
00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:13,666
Bambi.
747
00:47:17,958 --> 00:47:19,958
Mmm.
748
00:47:20,083 --> 00:47:21,708
Mmm.
749
00:47:22,541 --> 00:47:24,333
-Mmm.
-Stop it!
750
00:47:31,250 --> 00:47:33,000
So, Leo got to know about this?
751
00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:40,416
And you know Mom.
She's always been a mess.
752
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,333
-And you know the people at the club.
-Of course.
753
00:47:43,833 --> 00:47:45,583
If they were to find out, then…
754
00:47:47,166 --> 00:47:48,416
Anyway…
755
00:47:50,125 --> 00:47:51,833
-Now what?
-I'm showing you.
756
00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:54,916
Listen to this.
757
00:47:57,083 --> 00:47:59,000
Whenever Leo started playing this…
758
00:47:59,583 --> 00:48:00,958
…it meant, "Show me the money."
759
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,125
Hmm.
760
00:48:08,083 --> 00:48:09,958
Hmm.
761
00:48:11,750 --> 00:48:12,708
Hmm.
762
00:48:14,875 --> 00:48:17,166
Uh… Forgive me, but…
763
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:21,208
…Shalini, uh, has taken away
all the furniture to Lucknow.
764
00:48:21,416 --> 00:48:23,375
-Shalini?
-Shalini…
765
00:48:23,458 --> 00:48:25,875
-Better half.
-Much better half, Padam.
766
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:30,625
Sir, so why are you shifting out of Delhi?
767
00:48:31,416 --> 00:48:34,875
-Is it the cold or the pollution?
-The crime in Delhi, Todi.
768
00:48:35,541 --> 00:48:40,083
Shalini ji must be fed up.
Murderers, blackmailers, kleptomaniacs.
769
00:48:41,625 --> 00:48:43,791
Hmm?
770
00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:51,500
Sorry, sir.
771
00:48:58,125 --> 00:48:59,666
I missed my reading glasses.
772
00:49:00,708 --> 00:49:01,666
Hmm.
773
00:49:04,958 --> 00:49:06,750
Hmm.
774
00:49:07,041 --> 00:49:08,791
Mm-hmm. Well.
775
00:49:09,833 --> 00:49:11,791
Sir, uh,
do you remember those kids,
776
00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:14,208
-the one's I released on bail?
-Hmm?
777
00:49:14,291 --> 00:49:16,833
Leo used to donate money
to that very same orphanage.
778
00:49:16,916 --> 00:49:19,291
But Leo ji's phone…
779
00:49:19,458 --> 00:49:21,333
…doesn't have any evidence
of blackmailing.
780
00:49:21,583 --> 00:49:22,750
Sir, but my chat?
781
00:49:22,958 --> 00:49:25,458
Leo ji has deleted all his previous chats.
782
00:49:25,625 --> 00:49:29,000
-It's still on my phone though.
-This rumbling in my belly…
783
00:49:30,500 --> 00:49:32,000
is telling me, Padam…
784
00:49:34,166 --> 00:49:38,250
that Leo ji was not blackmailing only you.
785
00:49:40,291 --> 00:49:42,625
This case keeps getting
more complex, sir ji.
786
00:49:42,875 --> 00:49:44,416
How do we solve it in ten days?
787
00:49:46,166 --> 00:49:47,208
In ten days?
788
00:49:47,708 --> 00:49:51,916
Uh… If in ten days,
I don't report in Lucknow to Shalini
789
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,166
and to the government,
or if my transfer is stayed,
790
00:49:55,250 --> 00:49:58,958
then she'll look for some poet,
get married and leave.
791
00:49:59,041 --> 00:50:01,375
Sir.
792
00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:03,666
They say…
793
00:50:03,833 --> 00:50:06,666
a poet and a detective are two sides
of the same coin.
794
00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:07,666
Absolutely.
795
00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:11,583
One of them weaves in the mystery,
while the other untangles it.
796
00:50:12,375 --> 00:50:14,625
Just like the world's
most fascinating mystery…
797
00:50:15,708 --> 00:50:16,750
-Love.
-Love.
798
00:50:17,125 --> 00:50:18,250
Whoa!
799
00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:21,416
Hmm.
800
00:50:22,333 --> 00:50:25,250
Looks like you have been on that train?
801
00:50:29,625 --> 00:50:30,708
Hmm.
802
00:50:33,666 --> 00:50:35,375
After all these years,
803
00:50:35,916 --> 00:50:38,791
finally, I am gonna gift you a new car.
How about that?
804
00:50:40,750 --> 00:50:42,791
I got a flashback from childhood
all of a sudden.
805
00:50:42,916 --> 00:50:44,083
Now, what did I do now?
806
00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:46,916
I remember how you used to get me
these imported gifts,
807
00:50:47,625 --> 00:50:49,875
so that your standards could be maintained
in your circle.
808
00:50:51,125 --> 00:50:52,125
Noted.
809
00:50:52,833 --> 00:50:55,833
Your standard.
I'll look for a car that fits there, okay?
810
00:50:55,916 --> 00:50:58,208
Nice, cute, comfy, middle-class car.
811
00:50:58,333 --> 00:50:59,458
Is that fine?
812
00:51:02,875 --> 00:51:04,625
I am good with this middle-class car.
813
00:51:19,375 --> 00:51:20,791
What?
814
00:52:42,541 --> 00:52:44,541
-He was Lambodhar, actually.
-Hmm.
815
00:52:44,625 --> 00:52:47,125
True to his name, God.
816
00:52:47,708 --> 00:52:50,500
Sir, when we were kids,
he used to always misbehave.
817
00:52:50,583 --> 00:52:52,583
-Hmm.
-Intentionally, deliberately…
818
00:52:52,708 --> 00:52:55,291
-Hmm.
-…so that no one would want to adopt him.
819
00:52:55,875 --> 00:52:56,916
Hmm.
820
00:52:57,583 --> 00:52:59,333
'Cause I'd be left alone, and…
821
00:53:01,291 --> 00:53:03,000
there was no demand for kids like me.
822
00:53:03,166 --> 00:53:04,750
Hmm.
823
00:53:05,333 --> 00:53:08,875
-Warden ji, those donations?
-That was Leo's hard work, sir.
824
00:53:10,250 --> 00:53:13,250
Through his new job, he had built up
a lot of new contracts.
825
00:53:13,333 --> 00:53:15,791
-Hmm.
-Big people with big hearts.
826
00:53:15,916 --> 00:53:16,875
Mm-hmm.
827
00:53:17,708 --> 00:53:19,250
He told me, "Raks, bro…
828
00:53:20,416 --> 00:53:23,458
these fancy rich people
blow so much money on a bottle of wine,
829
00:53:24,166 --> 00:53:25,916
it's more than my monthly salary."
830
00:53:26,333 --> 00:53:27,333
Hmm.
831
00:53:33,875 --> 00:53:35,958
The donations kept coming nonstop, sir.
832
00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,875
Warden bhai,
those weren't donations.
833
00:53:39,250 --> 00:53:42,583
Your God-like benefactor brother
was actually blackmailing everyone.
834
00:53:43,583 --> 00:53:44,708
This basketball court…
835
00:53:46,041 --> 00:53:48,875
-…I probably donated this one.
-So?
836
00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:50,583
You guys are unbelievable.
837
00:53:50,708 --> 00:53:52,291
Leo took such a big risk…
838
00:53:52,583 --> 00:53:53,791
…got the funds together.
839
00:53:54,833 --> 00:53:57,625
Is that a joke?
He was a goddamn Robin Hood.
840
00:53:58,166 --> 00:53:59,208
Yeah, right!
841
00:53:59,750 --> 00:54:02,250
Madam, do you see
the names of any members here?
842
00:54:02,708 --> 00:54:04,458
-Fuck me!
-Hmm?
843
00:54:05,333 --> 00:54:07,916
-Fuck me!
-What, ma'am?
844
00:54:12,458 --> 00:54:14,875
And who else is on that list?
845
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,250
Hmm.
846
00:54:18,083 --> 00:54:20,583
What? There was no blackmail shlack-mail!
847
00:54:21,458 --> 00:54:22,916
The boy was a magician!
848
00:54:23,250 --> 00:54:26,416
UK six to UK four
in three months, like that!
849
00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:27,375
What?
850
00:54:27,458 --> 00:54:28,708
-Size. My size.
-Oh.
851
00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:34,833
Cookie's didn't reduce at all, you know.
She gained three kgs.
852
00:54:34,916 --> 00:54:40,583
Anyway, when Leo informed me about his,
uh, you know, um, NGO, orphanage,
853
00:54:40,708 --> 00:54:43,041
I made an offer myself, na. I mean, like…
854
00:54:49,333 --> 00:54:50,375
Leo.
855
00:54:52,166 --> 00:54:53,208
Leo.
856
00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:56,708
Don't do this to me.
857
00:54:57,416 --> 00:54:59,083
Hmm?
858
00:54:59,750 --> 00:55:01,916
-I'll do anything.
-Really?
859
00:55:02,375 --> 00:55:03,333
I will.
860
00:55:06,166 --> 00:55:07,833
Sign the fucking check, bitch!
861
00:55:12,791 --> 00:55:15,583
Smart.
862
00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:25,041
Madam, have you seen this before?
863
00:55:26,833 --> 00:55:28,791
-You found this in Leo's things?
-Yes.
864
00:55:29,166 --> 00:55:32,041
That bitch! Kanchan!
865
00:55:33,333 --> 00:55:34,333
Jasmeet.
866
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,333
Guppie Ram ji!
867
00:55:38,375 --> 00:55:40,500
Guppie ji, here.
868
00:55:40,666 --> 00:55:43,208
If you're so keen on listening
to our conversation, come inside.
869
00:55:43,291 --> 00:55:44,250
Please, don't be shy.
870
00:55:44,416 --> 00:55:45,625
I can't find my Harry anywhere.
871
00:55:45,708 --> 00:55:46,875
You might find him inside.
872
00:55:47,083 --> 00:55:49,166
Hey, Hariya! Beta?
873
00:55:50,541 --> 00:55:51,708
-Aey, bacha!
-Guppie Ram ji,
874
00:55:51,916 --> 00:55:53,583
-your cat must be there somewhere.
-Aey, beta!
875
00:55:54,791 --> 00:55:59,000
Aww.
Our Guppie Ram has become so old now.
876
00:55:59,083 --> 00:56:02,666
When Yashu was a little boy,
how much he used to run after him.
877
00:56:02,750 --> 00:56:04,375
-Aey, bacha!
-Guppie!
878
00:56:04,583 --> 00:56:06,500
-When Yash baba goes to America na…
-Harry!
879
00:56:06,583 --> 00:56:09,708
…I'll give all his polo T-shirts
and summer clothes to you.
880
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,500
Handsome you'll become.
881
00:56:11,583 --> 00:56:13,000
He tends to swallow the wool.
882
00:56:13,166 --> 00:56:14,750
And the synthetic one, you know…
883
00:56:14,833 --> 00:56:16,333
…it doesn't dissolve. It stays solid.
884
00:56:17,041 --> 00:56:19,291
-So, if that happens, you know…
-Guppie…
885
00:56:20,500 --> 00:56:21,625
is everything okay?
886
00:56:22,708 --> 00:56:23,750
What's wrong?
887
00:56:27,500 --> 00:56:28,958
My Harry is nowhere to be seen.
888
00:56:29,958 --> 00:56:31,125
He must be outside, Guppie.
889
00:56:31,208 --> 00:56:32,500
-Huh?
-He must be outside.
890
00:56:35,208 --> 00:56:36,750
Poor people should die young.
891
00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:42,333
Old age is so hard for them.
892
00:56:42,416 --> 00:56:44,958
By the way, I am 48 years old.
893
00:56:46,166 --> 00:56:48,333
Am I allowed to live
until retirement, madam?
894
00:56:48,458 --> 00:56:51,583
Everyone is being so all serious and all.
895
00:56:51,666 --> 00:56:53,875
What? Nobody has got a sense of humor?
896
00:56:54,041 --> 00:56:56,708
Rich people can't even crack a joke? Huh?
897
00:56:56,875 --> 00:56:59,333
Is that what you're--
898
00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:06,666
Yes, Krishnan, what's the news?
899
00:57:07,791 --> 00:57:09,750
What's that? Pinko?
900
00:57:15,125 --> 00:57:17,791
Uh… ACP, I'll leave now.
901
00:57:17,958 --> 00:57:19,791
I… I'll call you back.
I'll call you. Madam.
902
00:57:19,875 --> 00:57:21,708
-Okay, everyone. I'll see you. Uh…
-Madam! Madam!
903
00:57:21,833 --> 00:57:24,041
Come back, come back. Come.
Come here. Sit.
904
00:57:25,625 --> 00:57:28,750
Do you know what happened, uh,
to Padam one time?
905
00:57:29,708 --> 00:57:32,500
Padam was on night duty.
The poor fellow was asleep.
906
00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:34,791
When he woke up, his trousers, uh--
907
00:57:34,875 --> 00:57:36,250
Weren't there?
908
00:57:38,541 --> 00:57:40,500
They were, but they were wet.
909
00:57:40,583 --> 00:57:43,083
So, everyone at the station
begin to tease him, make fun of him.
910
00:57:43,541 --> 00:57:48,041
Many days later, Padam discovered
that a sniffer dog had come along.
911
00:57:48,833 --> 00:57:50,291
He took a liking to his pants,
912
00:57:50,375 --> 00:57:52,541
so he left his mark on them,
and…
913
00:57:52,625 --> 00:57:55,625
Now, tell me, who was the culprit?
914
00:57:55,708 --> 00:57:57,125
And who was taking the blame?
915
00:58:00,416 --> 00:58:01,500
That, uh…
916
00:58:02,291 --> 00:58:05,250
B-grade heroine said something about me?
Hmm?
917
00:58:07,666 --> 00:58:08,916
-Raja ji did?
-Oh.
918
00:58:14,625 --> 00:58:16,416
That show-off Maharaja, na,
919
00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:19,250
is definitely hiding something
under his shiny sherwani.
920
00:58:19,333 --> 00:58:20,916
I'm telling you that! I'm telling you!
921
00:58:21,750 --> 00:58:23,541
But Leo ji,
922
00:58:23,708 --> 00:58:26,541
why would he blackmail Raja ji? Tell me.
923
00:58:26,750 --> 00:58:28,208
Hmm?
924
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,250
Well, rumor has it…
925
00:58:32,041 --> 00:58:36,166
that your Maharaja ji
gets a proper "royal salute" every night
926
00:58:36,291 --> 00:58:37,750
from his "dream girl."
927
00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:40,208
Ganga…
928
00:58:42,083 --> 00:58:43,708
Rosh Aunty, that's not fair.
929
00:58:43,875 --> 00:58:45,375
Sir, she's been through a lot.
930
00:58:46,041 --> 00:58:47,291
She used to work at my house,
931
00:58:48,166 --> 00:58:51,625
but her scumbag, piece-of-shit husband,
he used to hit her a lot, sir.
932
00:58:51,750 --> 00:58:54,125
He left her and went away,
933
00:58:54,375 --> 00:58:56,958
and then I got her a job
at the club too, sir, at the salon.
934
00:58:57,833 --> 00:59:01,625
No idea why all these club members
gossip about her so much.
935
00:59:02,583 --> 00:59:04,250
Because she's pretty.
936
00:59:06,791 --> 00:59:09,916
These things I can sniff
from a mile away, darling.
937
00:59:11,083 --> 00:59:13,958
And imagine, if this story comes out,
938
00:59:14,041 --> 00:59:17,833
then our Raja ji's honor
will not even be worth a scrap.
939
00:59:18,791 --> 00:59:20,500
Enough of a motive, ACP.
940
00:59:22,541 --> 00:59:26,625
Raja ji, we were just try--
941
00:59:26,750 --> 00:59:30,125
We were talk-- Your Highness.
942
00:59:30,666 --> 00:59:32,291
You ruined my game of golf.
943
00:59:32,500 --> 00:59:35,458
-Now, don't fuck up my card party!
-He's on the list?
944
00:59:37,958 --> 00:59:39,750
Have a seat, Raja ji.
945
00:59:39,875 --> 00:59:42,416
"Hukum!"
"Have a seat, hukum!"
946
00:59:42,625 --> 00:59:44,708
-Hello, sir. Hi, sir.
-Hello, hello.
947
00:59:44,833 --> 00:59:47,208
-Raja ji, your flare gun?
-Hello. Oh, yes!
948
00:59:52,375 --> 00:59:53,583
Keep this in the club cabinet.
949
00:59:53,708 --> 00:59:55,375
-Yes, sir.
-Hmm.
950
00:59:56,333 --> 00:59:58,750
Hmm.
951
00:59:59,750 --> 01:00:02,000
That's for you. Keep it.
952
01:00:02,291 --> 01:00:04,583
Keep it, keep it. Go on.
Why are you hesitating, yaar?
953
01:00:04,708 --> 01:00:06,500
Keep it, man. Don't be shy.
954
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:09,791
-Come on, man, keep it!
-Yes, sir.
955
01:00:12,458 --> 01:00:14,583
I love my staff here.
Always take care of them.
956
01:00:15,083 --> 01:00:18,041
How many years old is the gun, hukum?
957
01:00:18,291 --> 01:00:20,208
Hundred years, inspector sahib.
Hundred years.
958
01:00:20,291 --> 01:00:21,791
-Hmm.
-My grandfather,
959
01:00:21,875 --> 01:00:23,916
Raja sahib Rajyavardhan Singh…
960
01:00:24,625 --> 01:00:27,541
…used it to blow off the guptangs
of many, many Englishmen.
961
01:00:28,541 --> 01:00:32,333
-Guptang?
-Balls, Bambi beta, balls!
962
01:00:34,166 --> 01:00:37,875
There are only two in this club,
and both of them belong to me!
963
01:00:38,083 --> 01:00:40,500
Ah!
964
01:00:40,708 --> 01:00:43,250
No-balls land.
965
01:00:45,083 --> 01:00:46,666
-Thank you.
-Thank you. Thank you.
966
01:00:49,041 --> 01:00:52,291
Actually,
those were the golden days, hukum.
967
01:00:52,375 --> 01:00:54,333
-Of rajas and maharajas.
-Yes.
968
01:00:54,416 --> 01:00:56,708
These days, everyone is just stuck
in this mess of elections.
969
01:00:56,791 --> 01:00:58,541
You know,
this Madam Noorani, you know,
970
01:00:58,666 --> 01:01:00,875
honestly, I don't even know
why she is contesting this election.
971
01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:03,333
She keeps on shouting,
"Change, change, change!"
972
01:01:03,416 --> 01:01:05,583
Why the fuck change something
which is perfect?
973
01:01:05,833 --> 01:01:07,083
Sorry for the language.
974
01:01:07,500 --> 01:01:10,041
Shehnaz Aunty wants to build
female staff washrooms.
975
01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:12,125
We don't have any at all, you see.
976
01:01:12,250 --> 01:01:14,750
But where does she want to build them?
In place of the kitchen garden?
977
01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:19,125
Rani Vasudha Devi Garden. My beloved wife.
978
01:01:19,625 --> 01:01:22,291
She wants smelly staff toilets there?
979
01:01:22,500 --> 01:01:24,000
It's fucking disgusting!
980
01:01:24,416 --> 01:01:26,083
Nothing will happen
to Vasudha Aunty's garden.
981
01:01:26,625 --> 01:01:28,625
In any case,
you are going to win this election.
982
01:01:28,750 --> 01:01:31,250
-So, you decide. Okay?
-Love you.
983
01:01:31,541 --> 01:01:33,958
Oh, and, sir, if you need anything at all…
984
01:01:34,041 --> 01:01:35,083
-Hmm.
-…just give me a call.
985
01:01:35,166 --> 01:01:36,791
-I'll sign for it.
-No, this is enough.
986
01:01:36,875 --> 01:01:38,291
-Bye.
-We done?
987
01:01:38,375 --> 01:01:40,541
No, no, no, no. Hmm.
988
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,083
-The fun part hasn't even begun yet.
-Uh-oh.
989
01:01:43,250 --> 01:01:44,333
Yeah, yeah. Come on, come on.
990
01:01:44,416 --> 01:01:46,041
-You're wasting my time.
-So…
991
01:01:46,250 --> 01:01:48,500
did Leo ji ever send you…
992
01:01:48,625 --> 01:01:51,375
…a song to, kind of,
try and blackmail you,
993
01:01:51,500 --> 01:01:54,833
or a link to make a donation
to an orphanage or something?
994
01:01:54,958 --> 01:01:57,000
Who the fuck do you think
will blackmail me? Who?
995
01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:58,583
Bhenchod!
996
01:01:58,750 --> 01:02:02,416
My family has conquered
a mountain of corpses to get here!
997
01:02:03,250 --> 01:02:04,416
Bloody gigolo!
998
01:02:04,875 --> 01:02:08,541
-I dare you to talk about this to anyone!
-It's empty, chutiya.
999
01:02:08,625 --> 01:02:10,125
Ronnie.
1000
01:02:10,875 --> 01:02:12,166
Aren't you getting late for the club?
75529
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