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1
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,789
The plane! The plane!
2
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:25,685
Tattoo?
3
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,690
Tattoo? Boss, right here.
4
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,505
Tattoo. Is that really you?
5
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,707
Yes, boss. I really
fooled you, didn't I?
6
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,676
Oh, you certainly did.
7
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,646
But may I ask what you are
doing inside a fire hydrant?
8
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,282
I'm camouflaged.
9
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,185
Camouflaged? Of course.
10
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:51,521
But may I ask why you
want to camouflage yourself
11
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:52,889
as a fire hydrant?
12
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,958
I'm taking a mail order course
13
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:57,316
on how to become a secret agent.
14
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,164
Secret agent.
15
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:05,034
Lesson number one: How to
be seen without being seen.
16
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,726
Truly amazing.
17
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,174
You love it, boss. Right?
18
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:12,809
Wait till you see the others.
19
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,444
I've got millions of them.
20
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,546
I can hardly wait.
21
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:20,372
And our guests can't wait
either. So shall we go now?
22
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,636
Smiles, everyone. Smiles.
23
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,773
Mmm, pretty girls.
Who are they, boss?
24
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,543
The young lady in the red
blouse is Miss Marge Atkins.
25
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:24,914
With her is her longtime friend
and roommate, Miss Kathy Wilton.
26
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:28,718
They work as chocolate dippers in a
candy factory in Louisville, Kentucky.
27
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,141
Sweet job.
28
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,223
What's their fantasy?
29
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:36,293
One of glamour and
excitement, Tattoo.
30
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,595
For this weekend Miss
Atkins and Miss Wilton
31
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:42,865
wish to become cheerleaders for
the Louisville Titans football team.
32
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,235
The Titan cheerleaders?
33
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:48,938
Boss, they are some of the
most beautiful girls in the world.
34
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,740
Oh, indeed they are, my friend.
35
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,142
Are they really
here on the island?
36
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,144
Yes.
37
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:59,482
Hmm, you think Miss Wilton and Miss
Atkins would mind if I showed them around?
38
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:04,710
Tattoo, a little decorum,
shall we, please? Huh?
39
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,325
Oh, I believe this next
gentleman's fantasy
40
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,126
will also interest you.
41
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,830
I wouldn't bet on
it. Cheerleaders.
42
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,798
Mr. Melvyn Mews. A truck driver
43
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,668
who hails all the way
from Wichita, Kansas.
44
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:22,171
Mr. Mews' fantasy is to
spend this weekend alone
45
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:25,508
with the woman he has
loved for the last 12 years.
46
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,692
What's the big deal about that?
47
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:33,650
The big deal about that is
that she is Miss Liz Merrill.
48
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,952
Otherwise known as the
Hollywood Sex Goddess.
49
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:39,322
And Miss Merrill doesn't
even know Mr. Mews is alive.
50
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,625
That's what the
big deal about it is.
51
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:42,925
Liz Merrill?
52
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,060
Yes. Uh-huh.
53
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,763
Boss, she's everyone's fantasy.
54
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,899
She's even better
than 15 cheerleaders.
55
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,402
See?
56
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:55,639
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
57
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,696
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
58
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,839
Well, how do I look?
59
00:05:32,863 --> 00:05:34,340
Magnifique. Agreed.
60
00:05:34,364 --> 00:05:37,506
You, Mr. Mews, look like
a man born to the water.
61
00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:39,206
Well, thank you. Thank you.
62
00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:41,872
And thank you for
these swell-looking duds.
63
00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,507
But it beats me how
you knew my sizes.
64
00:05:44,531 --> 00:05:48,072
On Fantasy Island,
we know many things.
65
00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:50,028
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
66
00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:55,072
Oh, relax, Mr. Mews. Relax.
67
00:05:55,096 --> 00:05:58,307
I'm certain Miss Merrill
will be along momentarily.
68
00:05:58,331 --> 00:06:04,573
Oh, these are the
directions to your destination.
69
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,307
You may open the envelope
two hours after casting off.
70
00:06:07,331 --> 00:06:08,674
And not before.
71
00:06:08,698 --> 00:06:12,173
Anything you say,
Mr. Roarke. Two hours?
72
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,440
Yes.
73
00:06:13,464 --> 00:06:14,740
But how do I know
74
00:06:14,764 --> 00:06:16,239
which direction I'm
supposed to be heading?
75
00:06:16,263 --> 00:06:18,507
North or south? Fine.
76
00:06:18,531 --> 00:06:21,106
No, I mean which direction?
77
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,807
Pick one that pleases you.
I'm sure that it will be fine.
78
00:06:23,831 --> 00:06:26,239
Pick the one?
79
00:06:26,263 --> 00:06:28,740
Well, that's kind of
crazy, Mr. Roarke.
80
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:31,906
I mean, I don't mean
to be disrespectful,
81
00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:34,573
but I'm a truck driver.
82
00:06:34,597 --> 00:06:37,206
And anybody with any
kind of sense knows
83
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,373
that you just don't go
heading out in a direction
84
00:06:39,397 --> 00:06:40,774
unless you know
which way you're going.
85
00:06:40,798 --> 00:06:43,440
I warned you, Mr. Mews,
86
00:06:43,464 --> 00:06:46,640
there will be times, if your
fantasy was to be fulfilled,
87
00:06:46,664 --> 00:06:52,106
when you would have to trust
and obey my instructions implicitly.
88
00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:53,907
Or have you forgotten?
89
00:06:53,931 --> 00:06:56,373
Yeah. But what instructions?
90
00:06:56,397 --> 00:06:58,840
I mean you didn't tell
me which way to go.
91
00:06:58,864 --> 00:07:00,161
Boss?
92
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:05,462
Oh, excuse me.
93
00:07:12,531 --> 00:07:15,107
Ah, the lovely Miss Merrill.
94
00:07:15,131 --> 00:07:17,073
It's so nice to see you again.
95
00:07:17,097 --> 00:07:20,607
May I introduce your
guide, Mr. Melvyn Mews?
96
00:07:20,631 --> 00:07:22,107
How do you do?
97
00:07:22,131 --> 00:07:23,873
How do you do, Miss Merrill?
98
00:07:23,897 --> 00:07:25,407
This is a real honor for me.
99
00:07:25,431 --> 00:07:27,274
I've seen every one of
your pictures at least twice.
100
00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:30,107
When you said a boat, I
had no idea you meant a boat.
101
00:07:30,131 --> 00:07:31,840
Oh, I am terribly
sorry, Miss Merrill.
102
00:07:31,864 --> 00:07:35,274
The yacht I had hoped to
provide developed engine trouble.
103
00:07:35,298 --> 00:07:39,274
Although it is a trifle
small, I must admit,
104
00:07:39,298 --> 00:07:42,707
I am certain that this vessel will
get you to your destination safely.
105
00:07:42,731 --> 00:07:45,674
But a star of my international
stature can hardly be...
106
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,440
Dickens.
107
00:07:47,464 --> 00:07:51,707
Can't you be more careful?
That wig cost me a bloody fortune.
108
00:07:51,731 --> 00:07:54,774
Servants. Servants.
They're just not making...
109
00:07:54,798 --> 00:07:57,540
She sounds like she got out
on the wrong side of the bed.
110
00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,508
Possibly. Possibly.
111
00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:03,107
Well, Mr. Mews, now that you
have met the girl of your dreams,
112
00:08:03,131 --> 00:08:04,370
what do you think?
113
00:08:08,631 --> 00:08:11,707
She looks a little
different up closer.
114
00:08:11,731 --> 00:08:13,408
Really? In what way?
115
00:08:13,432 --> 00:08:16,508
Well, she's kind of older.
116
00:08:16,532 --> 00:08:18,308
You want to change places?
117
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,541
No, no, no. Don't get me wrong.
118
00:08:20,565 --> 00:08:23,995
I still think that she's the
greatest woman I ever saw.
119
00:08:25,298 --> 00:08:26,308
Well, when do we leave?
120
00:08:26,332 --> 00:08:27,574
Immediately, if you wish.
121
00:08:27,598 --> 00:08:29,463
Yes, I certainly do. Mr. Mews.
122
00:08:33,332 --> 00:08:34,663
Miss Merrill?
123
00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:41,630
Why don't you sit
right there, Miss Merrill?
124
00:08:44,298 --> 00:08:45,663
Right there.
125
00:08:49,765 --> 00:08:52,408
I'm just glad my fans
can't see me now.
126
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,675
Yes. Well...
127
00:08:54,699 --> 00:08:55,730
Cast off!
128
00:09:06,031 --> 00:09:07,930
Well, bon voyage.
129
00:09:15,665 --> 00:09:18,008
She's not a very pleasant woman.
130
00:09:18,032 --> 00:09:20,408
I don't think it's what
Mr. Mews expected.
131
00:09:20,432 --> 00:09:23,675
I doubt if this
weekend is going to be
132
00:09:23,699 --> 00:09:25,963
what either of our
guests had expected.
133
00:09:31,498 --> 00:09:34,963
Kick, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
134
00:09:42,932 --> 00:09:46,697
Kick, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
135
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:54,941
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
136
00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:58,974
Turn, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
137
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:03,342
Kick, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
138
00:10:03,366 --> 00:10:05,309
Do me a favor, will you, Kathy?
139
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:06,409
Sure. What?
140
00:10:06,433 --> 00:10:09,541
Pinch me to make sure I'm awake.
141
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:13,475
Pinch yourself. I'm
fresh out of hands.
142
00:10:13,499 --> 00:10:17,297
Perfecto! That's
all for the day, girls.
143
00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:19,497
Here we go.
144
00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:27,230
If only the folks back in
Louisville could see us now.
145
00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:29,830
Marge, look out.
146
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,996
Way to go.
147
00:10:35,799 --> 00:10:36,874
May I have the ball?
148
00:10:36,898 --> 00:10:38,708
Huh? The ball.
149
00:10:38,732 --> 00:10:40,397
The ball.
150
00:10:42,265 --> 00:10:43,708
Thanks.
151
00:10:43,732 --> 00:10:45,676
If you ever get tired
of being a cheerleader,
152
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,978
we can always use
another wide receiver.
153
00:10:49,898 --> 00:10:52,642
Kathy, you know who that was?
154
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:54,542
Roger Mosely.
155
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:57,208
The Roger Mosely.
156
00:10:57,232 --> 00:11:01,309
And he talked to
me. Right at me.
157
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,874
It was the only way
to get his ball back.
158
00:11:03,898 --> 00:11:07,875
Ten to one odds, Mosely gets
traded before the season opener.
159
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:09,241
How do you figure that?
160
00:11:09,265 --> 00:11:12,809
I figure that because
his passing game stinks.
161
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,309
That's your opinion.
162
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,375
Also the coach's opinion.
163
00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:19,096
I got it straight from
the horse's mouth.
164
00:11:20,866 --> 00:11:23,842
Excuse me, ladies. I saw
you talking to my quarterback.
165
00:11:23,866 --> 00:11:25,676
I hope that doesn't
happen again.
166
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:26,842
What do you mean?
167
00:11:26,866 --> 00:11:28,409
What do I mean?
168
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:30,776
Weren't you warned about
my non-fraternization policy?
169
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,108
Look, I got a football team
170
00:11:33,132 --> 00:11:34,542
to get ready for
the season opener.
171
00:11:34,566 --> 00:11:36,042
I don't want these men
thinking about anything
172
00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,208
except football, you understand?
173
00:11:37,232 --> 00:11:38,809
Cheerleaders are not allowed
174
00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:40,342
to fraternize with your players?
175
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,342
You're not even
allowed to talk to them.
176
00:11:42,366 --> 00:11:44,197
Get caught and you're out.
177
00:11:47,599 --> 00:11:50,875
Just when I was beginning
to enjoy my fantasy.
178
00:11:50,899 --> 00:11:52,809
What are you talking about?
179
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:56,776
Roger Mosely. I
can't even talk to him.
180
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,942
So?
181
00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:00,642
You promise not to tell?
182
00:12:00,666 --> 00:12:05,075
I've had a crush on Roger
Mosely since he played in college.
183
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,575
But, Marge, you have a crush
184
00:12:07,599 --> 00:12:10,842
on half the football players
and movie stars in the world.
185
00:12:10,866 --> 00:12:13,609
Well, it's different with Roger.
186
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,242
Now the only two days I
have to be close to him,
187
00:12:16,266 --> 00:12:17,742
I can't even talk to him.
188
00:12:17,766 --> 00:12:20,776
But, Marge, did you see the
way Mrs. Hoight was looking at us?
189
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,343
I think maybe we have a
chance to be cheerleaders
190
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,410
even after our fantasy.
191
00:12:25,434 --> 00:12:29,776
And maybe Coach Alden will relax
some of his rules once the season starts.
192
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,575
But even if he does...
193
00:12:31,599 --> 00:12:34,875
Even if we do make it as
cheerleaders, by then it'll be too late.
194
00:12:34,899 --> 00:12:37,365
Roger'll have been
traded to Buffalo.
195
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,609
As far as I'm concerned,
196
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:48,109
Loving at Dusk is the greatest
movie that you ever made.
197
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:52,242
I watch that on the late
TV show all the time.
198
00:12:52,266 --> 00:12:54,476
You know, I'll never
forget that scene where
199
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,343
that weird congressman
trapped you in his office.
200
00:12:57,367 --> 00:12:58,942
What was it you said to him?
201
00:12:58,966 --> 00:13:03,343
You said, "I thought
you were a conservative."
202
00:13:05,899 --> 00:13:08,410
That one really put me away.
203
00:13:08,434 --> 00:13:10,610
How come you never
won the old Oscar?
204
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:15,510
I mean, I would've given it to
you in a flash for Isbanicci Lady.
205
00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:18,242
Boy, the way you play the fallen
lady, that was really something.
206
00:13:18,266 --> 00:13:24,543
Miss Merrill, this is really an honor
for me to be here alone with you.
207
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:26,443
Is it all right if
I call you Liz?
208
00:13:26,467 --> 00:13:30,298
"Miss Merrill" will do
just fine, thank you.
209
00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:33,705
Anything you say, Miss Merrill.
210
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:39,777
Oh, honestly.
211
00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:41,543
I should've held out for a yacht
212
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:45,398
instead of this motorized kayak.
213
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,176
What did you say your name is?
214
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,610
Mews. Melvyn Mews.
215
00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:56,810
Well, Mr. Melvyn Mews, as the
alleged skipper of this alleged boat,
216
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,209
I would like to
lodge a complaint...
217
00:13:58,233 --> 00:14:00,110
Several complaints,
as a matter of fact.
218
00:14:00,134 --> 00:14:02,276
First, this boat is too small.
219
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:06,310
And second, that sun up there is
causing me to break out in freckles.
220
00:14:06,334 --> 00:14:09,143
Third, I have an
overwhelming thirst
221
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:11,543
for a ridiculously dry martini.
222
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:14,132
I never thought to
bring any liquor aboard.
223
00:14:16,734 --> 00:14:18,843
When do we reach
our destination?
224
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:21,010
Oh, I don't know.
225
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:25,476
Mr. Roarke gave me this envelope
226
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:28,343
with sealed instructions inside.
227
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,311
Sealed inside?
228
00:14:30,335 --> 00:14:31,876
Well, open it, man. Open it.
229
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:37,143
Oh, no, no. Mr. Roarke told me
not to open it for a full two hours.
230
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:40,632
Okay. So I promise not to
turn informant. Now open it.
231
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,411
Well, what does it say?
232
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:56,511
There's nothing. It's blank.
233
00:14:56,535 --> 00:14:58,377
You don't know
where we're going?
234
00:14:58,401 --> 00:15:00,511
Mr. Roarke must
have made a mistake.
235
00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:03,767
Now what?
236
00:15:12,301 --> 00:15:13,832
We're out of gas.
237
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,210
Well, put some
more in, you idiot.
238
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:18,943
I don't think there is any more.
239
00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:21,143
What do you mean, you don't
think there's any more around?
240
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,810
There's got to be
some more around.
241
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:25,444
We can't be stranded out here.
242
00:15:25,468 --> 00:15:28,032
Mr. Roarke wouldn't
dare do such a thing to me.
243
00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:32,165
Would he?
244
00:15:49,435 --> 00:15:51,344
You know something, Kathy?
245
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:55,311
That sportswriter who said Roger's
passing game stinks is absolutely right.
246
00:15:55,335 --> 00:15:57,744
He is throwing all wrong.
247
00:15:57,768 --> 00:15:59,177
What are you talking about?
248
00:15:59,201 --> 00:16:02,210
Well, take a good look.
Roger's throwing side armed.
249
00:16:02,234 --> 00:16:04,277
And he's only taking
three steps back.
250
00:16:04,301 --> 00:16:06,511
I see what you
mean. But so what?
251
00:16:06,535 --> 00:16:08,544
Well, I told you I
watched him since college.
252
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,944
And when he played his best,
253
00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:13,277
he always took five steps
back and threw over the top.
254
00:16:15,568 --> 00:16:17,011
Oh, well.
255
00:16:17,035 --> 00:16:19,344
I guess I can always quit my job
256
00:16:19,368 --> 00:16:21,844
and move to Buffalo
when Roger gets traded.
257
00:16:21,868 --> 00:16:25,411
Buffalo? What about
me? I'm your roommate.
258
00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:29,678
Well, I know. But I
can't abandon Roger.
259
00:16:29,702 --> 00:16:31,944
A gal's gotta do
what she's gotta do.
260
00:16:31,968 --> 00:16:34,299
Maybe there's another way.
261
00:16:37,702 --> 00:16:41,044
You have a very devious
look in your eye, Kathy Wilton.
262
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:45,033
I have more than that.
I have a devious idea.
263
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,433
Come on. Do as I do.
264
00:17:09,635 --> 00:17:12,178
How long do you think we're
gonna get away with this?
265
00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:15,378
Just long enough for you
to talk to Roger Mosely.
266
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,445
I hope.
267
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,534
Let's try the tackling dummy.
268
00:17:22,901 --> 00:17:26,778
You're sure you don't know
anything about our destination?
269
00:17:26,802 --> 00:17:28,744
I'm sorry, Miss Merrill.
270
00:17:28,768 --> 00:17:30,378
Well, how about my fantasy?
271
00:17:30,402 --> 00:17:32,478
Did Mr. Roarke say
anything about that?
272
00:17:32,502 --> 00:17:34,378
I don't... No!
273
00:17:34,402 --> 00:17:37,111
What is your fantasy?
274
00:17:37,135 --> 00:17:40,778
What have I got to lose?
275
00:17:40,802 --> 00:17:42,545
To begin at the beginning.
276
00:17:42,569 --> 00:17:45,178
My newest picture just was
released in New York City.
277
00:17:45,202 --> 00:17:48,977
Yeah. Bawdy House Blues.
278
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,011
Oh, sounds like a real winner.
279
00:17:51,035 --> 00:17:53,445
Well, for your
information, it's a real loser.
280
00:17:53,469 --> 00:17:55,478
People are staying
away in droves.
281
00:17:55,502 --> 00:17:56,944
Of course, it's not my fault.
282
00:17:56,968 --> 00:18:00,244
The picture was edited
and scored entirely wrong.
283
00:18:00,268 --> 00:18:02,478
I kept telling the studio,
but they wouldn't listen.
284
00:18:02,502 --> 00:18:06,845
And your fantasy is to make
Bawdy House Blues a hit, huh?
285
00:18:06,869 --> 00:18:09,312
In a manner of speaking, yes.
286
00:18:09,336 --> 00:18:13,412
To be precise, my fantasy is to
be marooned on a deserted island.
287
00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:14,945
But why?
288
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,845
Publicity, you idiot. Why else?
289
00:18:16,869 --> 00:18:20,178
Once my disappearance
creates international headlines,
290
00:18:20,202 --> 00:18:23,512
my loyal fans will
flock to the box office.
291
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:28,099
And I'll be spared the indignity of
starring in another cinematic bomb.
292
00:18:29,703 --> 00:18:33,345
Four duds in a row, thanks
to Monument Pictures.
293
00:18:33,369 --> 00:18:36,278
Well, can't you do something?
294
00:18:36,302 --> 00:18:39,412
I'm doing the best
I can, Miss Merrill.
295
00:18:39,436 --> 00:18:42,211
What are you complaining about?
296
00:18:42,235 --> 00:18:44,400
You're about as
marooned as you can get.
297
00:18:49,969 --> 00:18:51,167
Tattoo?
298
00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,612
Tattoo?
299
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,500
This way, boss!
300
00:19:01,469 --> 00:19:03,112
Tattoo?
301
00:19:03,136 --> 00:19:05,301
Right here, in the haystack.
302
00:19:07,703 --> 00:19:09,845
What the...
303
00:19:09,869 --> 00:19:14,912
Ah. Yes, of course.
Another camouflage, right?
304
00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:16,978
Right, boss. How do you like it?
305
00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:20,745
Tattoo, it's
absolutely terrible.
306
00:19:20,769 --> 00:19:22,945
That disguise
wouldn't fool anyone.
307
00:19:28,002 --> 00:19:30,679
Well, at least no one
with any intelligence.
308
00:19:33,002 --> 00:19:35,234
Oh, boss, what
do I do now? Help!
309
00:19:36,503 --> 00:19:38,335
Au secours! Help!
310
00:19:58,603 --> 00:20:01,680
That thing must be
made out of solid lead.
311
00:20:01,704 --> 00:20:04,912
I think we'd better
get out of here, Marge.
312
00:20:04,936 --> 00:20:06,513
The coach is looking this way.
313
00:20:06,537 --> 00:20:09,479
But we've come too
far to turn back now.
314
00:20:09,503 --> 00:20:10,978
Go. Go. Let's go. Ready?
315
00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,680
If only I could get
Roger's attention.
316
00:20:13,704 --> 00:20:15,912
Set. Go, go.
317
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:25,613
Perkosky, get up.
318
00:20:25,637 --> 00:20:27,212
What in the name
of Mean Joe Greene
319
00:20:27,236 --> 00:20:28,813
do you think you're doing?
320
00:20:28,837 --> 00:20:30,479
I've only been doing
what you told me to do.
321
00:20:30,503 --> 00:20:31,513
Kill the quarterback.
322
00:20:31,537 --> 00:20:33,579
Not our quarterback, meathead.
323
00:20:33,603 --> 00:20:36,245
Theirs! What is it?
324
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:39,179
It's bad. It could
be my knee again.
325
00:20:39,203 --> 00:20:40,446
All right. Get the trainer.
326
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:42,401
Who did it? All
right, who whistled?
327
00:20:53,804 --> 00:20:55,813
Well, I never expected this.
328
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:59,846
And how I allowed myself to become
part of this Mickey Mouse expedition,
329
00:20:59,870 --> 00:21:01,646
I'll never know.
330
00:21:01,670 --> 00:21:02,879
I thought it was for publicity.
331
00:21:02,903 --> 00:21:04,035
Who asked you?
332
00:21:14,437 --> 00:21:15,613
Where are we?
333
00:21:15,637 --> 00:21:17,313
In the middle of the ocean.
334
00:21:17,337 --> 00:21:18,913
I can see that.
335
00:21:18,937 --> 00:21:21,079
Oh, great. I lost the compass.
336
00:21:21,103 --> 00:21:23,713
I suppose it's my fault!
337
00:21:33,437 --> 00:21:36,213
Funny. Very funny.
338
00:21:36,237 --> 00:21:38,746
You picked a great
time to go for a swim.
339
00:21:38,770 --> 00:21:41,913
Well, don't just swim
there. Do something.
340
00:21:41,937 --> 00:21:43,646
I am gonna do something.
341
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:48,280
What? Something I
would've bet my life on
342
00:21:48,304 --> 00:21:50,879
I would never have
done four hours ago,
343
00:21:50,903 --> 00:21:52,901
and that's to tell
you to shut up!
344
00:22:00,204 --> 00:22:01,746
Land ahoy!
345
00:22:01,770 --> 00:22:03,813
Thank goodness. I
thought I was doomed.
346
00:22:04,870 --> 00:22:06,135
I'm drowning!
347
00:22:07,504 --> 00:22:10,180
Oh, hold on to me!
348
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,913
The least you could
do is carry me ashore.
349
00:22:12,937 --> 00:22:16,879
I know. But that would eliminate
the possibility of you drowning.
350
00:22:46,070 --> 00:22:49,046
I wonder if this is what
Mr. Roarke has in mind for you.
351
00:22:49,070 --> 00:22:50,480
Of course not.
352
00:22:50,504 --> 00:22:51,781
He said I'd be met
353
00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:54,180
by a retinue of servants
with ground transportation.
354
00:22:54,204 --> 00:22:57,514
Yoo-hoo! We're here!
355
00:22:57,538 --> 00:23:00,636
Hello!
356
00:23:03,004 --> 00:23:05,180
Well, they're late
getting here, I guess.
357
00:23:05,204 --> 00:23:07,414
But while we're waiting,
358
00:23:07,438 --> 00:23:09,880
you can help me
get the boat back.
359
00:23:09,904 --> 00:23:12,936
Oh, my... No.
360
00:23:16,104 --> 00:23:20,014
You know what, Melvyn? I
truly wish you worked for me.
361
00:23:20,038 --> 00:23:21,280
Why?
362
00:23:21,304 --> 00:23:23,969
So I could fire you on the spot.
363
00:23:46,604 --> 00:23:49,714
I've had a crush on
Roger since college.
364
00:23:49,738 --> 00:23:52,847
And now it's my
fault he got hurt.
365
00:23:52,871 --> 00:23:53,947
Dr. Vejar, pick up Line 3.
366
00:23:55,571 --> 00:23:56,747
Dr. Vejar, pick up Line 3.
367
00:23:56,771 --> 00:23:59,714
It must be down that way.
368
00:24:07,305 --> 00:24:09,381
Okay. Now, you keep her busy
369
00:24:09,405 --> 00:24:12,348
just long enough for me
to get into Roger's room.
370
00:24:12,372 --> 00:24:14,448
Hello.
371
00:24:14,472 --> 00:24:15,580
Maru.
372
00:24:15,604 --> 00:24:18,014
I saw you at practice.
373
00:24:18,038 --> 00:24:21,381
Maru? What does Maru mean?
374
00:24:21,405 --> 00:24:23,080
Isn't that the name
of a Japanese ship?
375
00:24:23,104 --> 00:24:26,947
No, no, no, no,
no. I kick. Kick.
376
00:24:26,971 --> 00:24:28,637
Uh...
377
00:24:31,372 --> 00:24:33,315
kick.
378
00:24:33,339 --> 00:24:36,281
Maru Yprios. Oh, sure.
379
00:24:36,305 --> 00:24:40,715
He's the place kicker the Titans
just brought over from Cyprus.
380
00:24:40,739 --> 00:24:43,503
Well, ¿Cómo está?
381
00:24:45,038 --> 00:24:48,415
Oh, but we have to get
out of here, Maru. Ciao.
382
00:24:48,439 --> 00:24:51,914
You smile at me.
Means you like me.
383
00:24:53,271 --> 00:24:56,348
I am very fond
of you, too, also.
384
00:24:56,372 --> 00:24:57,804
Come. Come.
385
00:25:07,472 --> 00:25:09,548
Hi. ROGER: Hi.
386
00:25:09,572 --> 00:25:11,581
I'm Kathy Wilton.
387
00:25:11,605 --> 00:25:13,181
A Titan cheerleader.
388
00:25:13,205 --> 00:25:16,114
Then you know? Sure.
I saw you at practice.
389
00:25:16,138 --> 00:25:18,014
You and the other cheerleaders.
390
00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:20,015
Is someone following
you? Why do you ask?
391
00:25:20,039 --> 00:25:21,415
The way you're acting.
392
00:25:21,439 --> 00:25:24,848
Well, I'm sort of
nervous about something.
393
00:25:24,872 --> 00:25:27,080
Like that whistle you
heard on the field.
394
00:25:27,104 --> 00:25:29,315
You? Oh, no.
395
00:25:29,339 --> 00:25:30,948
A friend of mine.
Her name is Marge.
396
00:25:30,972 --> 00:25:33,381
She wants you to know she's
awfully sorry about your knee.
397
00:25:33,405 --> 00:25:36,815
You know, your friend just may
have done me a big favor by whistling.
398
00:25:36,839 --> 00:25:38,648
Are you kidding?
399
00:25:38,672 --> 00:25:40,881
You see, there's a rumor going
around that I might be traded.
400
00:25:40,905 --> 00:25:44,214
So? So this way I can
beat 'em to the punch.
401
00:25:44,238 --> 00:25:46,715
I can use my injury
as a reason to retire.
402
00:25:46,739 --> 00:25:48,704
I want to go out on top.
403
00:25:49,905 --> 00:25:51,782
Say, do you play gin rummy?
404
00:25:51,806 --> 00:25:53,748
Yes, but not very well.
405
00:25:53,772 --> 00:25:56,804
I'll teach you to be a
real killer. Sit down.
406
00:25:57,905 --> 00:26:00,348
Me? Sit on your bed?
407
00:26:00,372 --> 00:26:01,815
Sure. Why not?
408
00:26:01,839 --> 00:26:04,316
I read that article
about you in Playgirl.
409
00:26:04,340 --> 00:26:06,015
Highly exaggerated.
410
00:26:06,039 --> 00:26:09,870
If it were true, I'd be too
exhausted to play football.
411
00:26:21,706 --> 00:26:24,282
You're going too fast!
412
00:26:34,972 --> 00:26:37,571
I can't. I can't go any further.
413
00:26:39,573 --> 00:26:42,037
There's nobody on
this island anyway.
414
00:26:45,239 --> 00:26:47,804
Can't say that
Mr. Roarke doesn't deliver.
415
00:26:49,172 --> 00:26:52,416
I think we are actually
lost on a deserted island.
416
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:56,649
Don't you talk to me about
Mr. Roarke. This is an outrage.
417
00:26:56,673 --> 00:26:58,081
You know what's
gonna happen now?
418
00:26:58,105 --> 00:27:01,248
What? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
419
00:27:01,272 --> 00:27:03,048
They're never going to find us.
420
00:27:03,072 --> 00:27:04,282
Why do you say that?
421
00:27:04,306 --> 00:27:06,215
My horoscope. I had it cast
422
00:27:06,239 --> 00:27:07,948
just before I left
home. I'm a Leo.
423
00:27:07,972 --> 00:27:09,482
I know.
424
00:27:09,506 --> 00:27:12,571
You know I'm a Leo? I
read it in a movie magazine.
425
00:27:14,373 --> 00:27:17,849
When I was a youngster,
back in Colorado,
426
00:27:17,873 --> 00:27:20,948
I used to wonder how
the end would come.
427
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:24,382
I hoped it would end
swiftly and painlessly.
428
00:27:24,406 --> 00:27:28,248
Who would have guessed it would
end on a remote deserted island?
429
00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:30,938
Two strangers.
Liz Merrill and...
430
00:27:32,707 --> 00:27:33,982
What did you say your name was?
431
00:27:34,006 --> 00:27:36,683
Melvyn Mews.
432
00:27:36,707 --> 00:27:41,148
Two strangers. Liz
Merrill and Melvyn Mews.
433
00:27:41,172 --> 00:27:43,115
The latter a complete unknown.
434
00:27:43,139 --> 00:27:45,982
Aren't you getting a
little bit over-dramatic?
435
00:27:46,006 --> 00:27:50,416
Well, you don't think we're
ever gonna be found, do you?
436
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:54,982
Oh, dear God, if you're
listening, please hear these words.
437
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:57,049
I know I haven't always
done what you wanted me to,
438
00:27:57,073 --> 00:28:00,783
but I promise to if you'll only
get me off this damned island!
439
00:28:00,807 --> 00:28:03,671
Forgive me, God. I
didn't mean to blaspheme.
440
00:28:06,106 --> 00:28:08,882
Well, it wouldn't hurt if you
would do some praying also.
441
00:28:08,906 --> 00:28:12,238
After all, two prayers have
got to be better than one.
442
00:28:14,906 --> 00:28:16,038
Melvyn?
443
00:28:18,073 --> 00:28:20,283
Melvyn, where are you?
444
00:28:20,307 --> 00:28:22,949
Melvyn? Melvyn?
445
00:28:25,207 --> 00:28:28,516
Oh, thank God, it's you.
446
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,716
Where did you run off to?
447
00:28:30,740 --> 00:28:34,116
Scouting the area. We don't
have too much daylight left.
448
00:28:34,140 --> 00:28:35,849
What is it you want?
449
00:28:35,873 --> 00:28:37,249
I'm hungry.
450
00:28:37,273 --> 00:28:38,882
Well, join the club.
451
00:28:38,906 --> 00:28:41,183
I'll wait here while
you find some food.
452
00:28:41,207 --> 00:28:44,783
Wrong. We both
scrounge for some food.
453
00:28:44,807 --> 00:28:46,350
Well, you're the hired help.
454
00:28:46,374 --> 00:28:48,249
It's your job to look
after Mr. Roarke's guests.
455
00:28:48,273 --> 00:28:51,049
I am not the hired help.
I am a paying guest here
456
00:28:51,073 --> 00:28:53,049
entitled to all the rights
and all the privileges!
457
00:28:53,073 --> 00:28:56,383
Just between the two of us, I
think I am being royally gypped.
458
00:28:56,407 --> 00:28:58,149
If Mr. Roarke were
here right now,
459
00:28:58,173 --> 00:29:00,671
I would insist on a
refund for my fantasy.
460
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:03,982
You had a fantasy?
461
00:29:04,006 --> 00:29:05,738
A real stupid one.
462
00:29:07,740 --> 00:29:11,716
I wanted to spend
a weekend with...
463
00:29:11,740 --> 00:29:13,238
The woman that I loved.
464
00:29:14,541 --> 00:29:16,283
The most beautiful,
465
00:29:16,307 --> 00:29:19,916
sexiest movie
star that ever lived.
466
00:29:19,940 --> 00:29:22,149
Well, frankly,
lady, I was a jerk.
467
00:29:22,173 --> 00:29:24,016
I was in love with an illusion.
468
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,617
You're nothing more than
a rotten, spoiled female
469
00:29:26,641 --> 00:29:29,517
who ought to be spanked.
470
00:29:29,541 --> 00:29:32,505
All right, are you gonna help
me scrounge up some food or not?
471
00:29:39,574 --> 00:29:42,071
Suit yourself.
472
00:29:54,741 --> 00:29:56,317
Gin.
473
00:29:56,341 --> 00:29:59,271
It looks like I have
to pay off again.
474
00:30:02,774 --> 00:30:05,550
Oh, Roger, this is all wrong.
475
00:30:05,574 --> 00:30:07,784
My best friend Marge
has had a crush on you
476
00:30:07,808 --> 00:30:09,650
ever since your college days.
477
00:30:09,674 --> 00:30:11,750
We couldn't help ourselves.
478
00:30:11,774 --> 00:30:13,216
It just happened.
479
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,572
She'll understand.
480
00:30:16,741 --> 00:30:20,305
Yeah. Good old Marge.
She'll understand.
481
00:30:22,541 --> 00:30:25,150
Understand?
482
00:30:25,174 --> 00:30:28,350
What a mean, low, sneaky,
underhanded, dirty trick.
483
00:30:28,374 --> 00:30:31,217
My best friend turns out
to be Benedict Arnold.
484
00:30:31,241 --> 00:30:33,550
Do you think I
wanted it to happen?
485
00:30:33,574 --> 00:30:36,850
Does a bee want to run
into a full-blown flower?
486
00:30:36,874 --> 00:30:39,050
Oh, come on, Marge.
487
00:30:39,074 --> 00:30:41,950
I thought maybe you and Maru
might have something going by now.
488
00:30:41,974 --> 00:30:44,417
He doesn't even speak English.
489
00:30:44,441 --> 00:30:47,083
And I don't speak Cypriotic
or whatever they call it.
490
00:30:47,107 --> 00:30:48,617
Why should he have to speak?
491
00:30:48,641 --> 00:30:51,250
The language of
love is universal.
492
00:30:51,274 --> 00:30:55,950
Oh, Marge, I really
am sorry. I really am.
493
00:30:55,974 --> 00:30:58,284
Well, that's just
not good enough.
494
00:30:58,308 --> 00:31:00,905
Best friends don't
do that to each other.
495
00:31:03,041 --> 00:31:04,373
Oh!
496
00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:19,083
Mmm. This is the tastiest
fish I have ever had.
497
00:31:19,107 --> 00:31:20,983
Can I have some?
498
00:31:21,007 --> 00:31:23,484
Oh, sure. Sure.
499
00:31:23,508 --> 00:31:25,584
Here.
500
00:31:25,608 --> 00:31:29,806
You take my knife, and you
sharpen up a bamboo stick.
501
00:31:31,074 --> 00:31:33,883
And you spear all
the fish that you need.
502
00:31:33,907 --> 00:31:35,206
Just like I did.
503
00:31:39,107 --> 00:31:41,139
I see. How much?
504
00:31:42,808 --> 00:31:44,418
What's that?
505
00:31:44,442 --> 00:31:46,751
How much money
for half your fish?
506
00:31:46,775 --> 00:31:49,983
My fish isn't for sale.
507
00:31:50,007 --> 00:31:54,673
I see. All right. $100.
508
00:31:56,442 --> 00:31:57,917
Two hundred!
509
00:31:57,941 --> 00:32:03,083
Sorry. Anyway, your
money floated out to sea.
510
00:32:03,107 --> 00:32:05,540
What good is money
on a deserted island?
511
00:32:10,342 --> 00:32:12,072
I've got something that...
512
00:32:13,709 --> 00:32:14,951
didn't float away.
513
00:32:14,975 --> 00:32:18,351
Yes, I know. My shirt.
514
00:32:18,375 --> 00:32:21,284
And my shorts that you
stole from my duffel bag.
515
00:32:21,308 --> 00:32:23,451
Plus something a lot better.
516
00:32:23,475 --> 00:32:24,840
Like what?
517
00:32:35,175 --> 00:32:36,540
Like this.
518
00:32:53,075 --> 00:32:54,240
Well?
519
00:32:56,709 --> 00:33:00,319
No fish. How dare
you reject Liz Merrill!
520
00:33:00,343 --> 00:33:03,506
Give me that fish!
Give me that fish!
521
00:33:04,575 --> 00:33:05,751
I'll teach you.
522
00:33:08,142 --> 00:33:11,051
You brute! You brute!
523
00:33:11,075 --> 00:33:13,240
Leave me alone!
524
00:33:18,775 --> 00:33:21,851
Now the name is Melvyn Mews.
525
00:33:21,875 --> 00:33:25,884
You remember that, Liz! Liz!
526
00:33:25,908 --> 00:33:28,818
Because we just might be spending
the rest of our lives here together!
527
00:33:28,842 --> 00:33:29,873
Oh!
528
00:33:32,476 --> 00:33:35,918
While we're at it, I want to
establish some ground rules.
529
00:33:35,942 --> 00:33:38,307
I am the boss!
530
00:33:41,476 --> 00:33:46,118
And whatever I say
goes! Democracy is out!
531
00:33:46,142 --> 00:33:48,260
So is that Hollywood star bit!
532
00:33:52,242 --> 00:33:54,051
On my island,
533
00:33:54,075 --> 00:33:58,719
you are nothing
but plain old Liz!
534
00:33:58,743 --> 00:34:04,652
And your only function is to keep
your old man, which is me, happy!
535
00:34:04,676 --> 00:34:08,285
Oh. Oh, don't stop. Kiss me.
536
00:34:08,309 --> 00:34:09,519
What's going on?
537
00:34:09,543 --> 00:34:11,984
Oh. You're so
masterful, so wonderful.
538
00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:14,686
I've never been treated
like that by any man,
539
00:34:14,710 --> 00:34:16,652
including my four
previous husbands.
540
00:34:16,676 --> 00:34:18,084
Oh, Melvyn, I need you.
541
00:34:18,108 --> 00:34:20,285
You mean you like it?
542
00:34:20,309 --> 00:34:23,852
Like it? Oh, I love it.
543
00:34:23,876 --> 00:34:26,319
And you agree with
everything I said?
544
00:34:26,343 --> 00:34:29,452
Everything. Everything.
Oh, stop talking and kiss me.
545
00:34:29,476 --> 00:34:32,419
I don't know. Don't know what?
546
00:34:32,443 --> 00:34:34,885
If I'm as great as you say...
547
00:34:34,909 --> 00:34:37,185
Uh-huh.
548
00:34:37,209 --> 00:34:38,488
You don't deserve me.
549
00:34:52,443 --> 00:34:54,585
5, 6, 7, 8.
550
00:34:54,609 --> 00:34:58,419
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
551
00:34:58,443 --> 00:35:02,152
Turn, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
552
00:35:02,176 --> 00:35:05,985
Kick, kick, 5, 6, 7, 8.
553
00:35:06,009 --> 00:35:09,752
Kick, kick, 5, 6, 7, 8.
554
00:35:09,776 --> 00:35:11,974
Step out, step out...
555
00:35:13,843 --> 00:35:15,085
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
556
00:35:17,743 --> 00:35:20,352
2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
557
00:35:20,376 --> 00:35:22,585
Kick, 2, 3, 4...
558
00:35:22,609 --> 00:35:25,007
Come on, smile, girls, smile.
559
00:35:26,543 --> 00:35:30,852
Maru. What in the name of Too
Tall Jones is the matter with you?
560
00:35:30,876 --> 00:35:33,420
Maru is in love.
561
00:35:33,444 --> 00:35:34,952
Love?
562
00:35:34,976 --> 00:35:36,752
Turn, 2, 3, 4...
563
00:35:36,776 --> 00:35:38,519
That is fine, girls. All right.
564
00:35:38,543 --> 00:35:41,386
Now let's work on the
side, side, side, side.
565
00:35:41,410 --> 00:35:44,453
Front kick. Back
flip. Side, side...
566
00:35:44,477 --> 00:35:45,520
Excuse me, Mrs. Hoight.
567
00:35:45,544 --> 00:35:46,686
Could I have a word
568
00:35:46,710 --> 00:35:48,052
with Miss Wilton and
Miss Atkins, please?
569
00:35:48,076 --> 00:35:51,652
Oh, sure. Marge
Atkins. Kathy Wilton.
570
00:35:51,676 --> 00:35:55,320
Please go with
Mr. Roarke, on the double.
571
00:35:55,344 --> 00:35:57,085
Let's keep going, girls.
572
00:35:57,109 --> 00:36:00,453
Well, let's all start at the
beginning, right? 1, 2, 3, 4.
573
00:36:00,477 --> 00:36:01,919
Have a seat, thank you.
574
00:36:01,943 --> 00:36:03,653
5, 6, 7, 8. Step out. Step out.
575
00:36:03,677 --> 00:36:05,320
Now, I...
576
00:36:05,344 --> 00:36:08,620
2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
577
00:36:08,644 --> 00:36:11,553
I regret saying this, ladies,
578
00:36:11,577 --> 00:36:14,553
but you have placed me in
a very embarrassing position.
579
00:36:14,577 --> 00:36:15,852
How so, Mr. Roarke?
580
00:36:15,876 --> 00:36:18,453
It was I who arranged
for you to be cheerleaders,
581
00:36:18,477 --> 00:36:21,919
but my plan seems to
have backfired completely.
582
00:36:21,943 --> 00:36:24,085
Within 24 hours,
583
00:36:24,109 --> 00:36:27,119
you have managed to put
one quarterback in the hospital,
584
00:36:27,143 --> 00:36:31,152
render a highly vaunted
place kicker totally ineffective.
585
00:36:31,176 --> 00:36:33,620
And demoralized an
entire football team.
586
00:36:33,644 --> 00:36:35,553
Including its coach, of course.
587
00:36:35,577 --> 00:36:37,653
What's wrong with
the place kicker?
588
00:36:37,677 --> 00:36:40,687
He is hopelessly in love
with you, Miss Atkins.
589
00:36:40,711 --> 00:36:44,553
And as a direct result, he is
unable to concentrate on the ball.
590
00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:46,252
We really did mess things up.
591
00:36:46,276 --> 00:36:48,720
Well, indeed you did.
592
00:36:48,744 --> 00:36:52,219
The Titans open their season
against Pittsburgh, no less.
593
00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:54,252
Pittsburgh, in 10 days.
594
00:36:54,276 --> 00:36:56,052
And I greatly fear
for their safety.
595
00:36:56,076 --> 00:36:58,075
What can we do to help?
596
00:36:59,844 --> 00:37:02,453
You, Miss Wilton,
597
00:37:02,477 --> 00:37:04,820
can convince Roger
Mosely to leave the hospital
598
00:37:04,844 --> 00:37:08,520
and participate in this afternoon's
all-important scrimmage.
599
00:37:08,544 --> 00:37:09,353
But he's injured.
600
00:37:09,377 --> 00:37:11,720
Are you absolutely certain?
601
00:37:11,744 --> 00:37:14,687
Or is it possible Mr. Mosely's
using a very minor injury
602
00:37:14,711 --> 00:37:17,920
as a means of bowing out
of football while still on top?
603
00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:20,286
Well, he did say... Aha.
604
00:37:20,310 --> 00:37:21,553
Didn't you tell Roger
605
00:37:21,577 --> 00:37:23,553
what was wrong with
his passing game?
606
00:37:23,577 --> 00:37:27,375
No. I got so wrapped
up in other things, I forgot.
607
00:37:28,477 --> 00:37:30,153
What can I do to
help, Mr. Roarke?
608
00:37:30,177 --> 00:37:33,986
Give Maru Yprios his
concentration back.
609
00:37:34,010 --> 00:37:35,287
Show some interest in him.
610
00:37:35,311 --> 00:37:37,453
That won't be too hard to do.
611
00:37:37,477 --> 00:37:40,787
He's kind of cute. Is that all?
612
00:37:40,811 --> 00:37:44,787
Uh, no, not quite. Not quite.
613
00:37:44,811 --> 00:37:46,120
I think it's high time
614
00:37:46,144 --> 00:37:49,653
you two friends patch
things up, don't you?
615
00:37:49,677 --> 00:37:50,677
Hmm?
616
00:37:52,144 --> 00:37:53,642
Well?
617
00:38:03,744 --> 00:38:05,153
How's that, Mr. Roarke?
618
00:38:05,177 --> 00:38:07,454
That is very nice.
619
00:38:07,478 --> 00:38:09,820
Now, may I suggest, Miss Wilton,
that you hurry over to the hospital?
620
00:38:09,844 --> 00:38:11,053
What for?
621
00:38:11,077 --> 00:38:12,920
Roger Mosely has
called a press conference,
622
00:38:12,944 --> 00:38:14,487
and I believe he's planning
623
00:38:14,511 --> 00:38:16,631
to announce his retirement
from professional football.
624
00:38:30,244 --> 00:38:33,710
Come here. Sit down.
There. Let me get your back.
625
00:38:46,244 --> 00:38:48,654
Am I entitled to an
explanation, nurse?
626
00:38:48,678 --> 00:38:51,321
I had to stop you from
announcing your retirement.
627
00:38:51,345 --> 00:38:54,321
But it's over, Kathy.
I'm all through.
628
00:38:54,345 --> 00:38:56,688
That's just the point.
You're not over the hill.
629
00:38:56,712 --> 00:38:58,354
Marge figured it out.
630
00:38:58,378 --> 00:39:00,654
You've been throwing
the ball all wrong.
631
00:39:00,678 --> 00:39:02,688
For openers, you've
been taking the ball
632
00:39:02,712 --> 00:39:06,053
and stepping only three
steps instead of five.
633
00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:07,621
Then, when you're
forced to scramble,
634
00:39:07,645 --> 00:39:09,086
you've been throwing side arm
635
00:39:09,110 --> 00:39:10,843
instead of overhand like this.
636
00:39:20,244 --> 00:39:21,509
Get the picture?
637
00:39:50,212 --> 00:39:51,676
I knew it. I knew it.
638
00:39:55,011 --> 00:39:56,521
What are you doing
out here? I'm all right.
639
00:39:56,545 --> 00:39:57,887
The knee's okay? Yep.
640
00:39:57,911 --> 00:39:59,469
You can play? Yeah.
641
00:40:00,645 --> 00:40:02,254
Let him in there. What is it?
642
00:40:02,278 --> 00:40:03,254
Third and fifteen.
643
00:40:03,278 --> 00:40:04,322
All right.
644
00:40:04,346 --> 00:40:05,584
Show me something.
645
00:40:08,478 --> 00:40:10,956
Hey. Hey.
646
00:40:27,111 --> 00:40:28,654
Roger's throwing overhand.
647
00:40:28,678 --> 00:40:30,688
That's something I took
care of at the hospital.
648
00:40:30,712 --> 00:40:32,710
Set. Go.
649
00:40:57,111 --> 00:40:59,755
Maru, kick it out
of the stadium.
650
00:40:59,779 --> 00:41:02,488
We got a touchdown!
Touchdown, touchdown!
651
00:41:02,512 --> 00:41:06,310
We got a touchdown!
652
00:41:13,412 --> 00:41:14,412
Hut. Go.
653
00:41:31,746 --> 00:41:34,188
Oh, I never would have
dreamed that Liz Merrill
654
00:41:34,212 --> 00:41:36,288
could ever exist
outside the spotlight.
655
00:41:36,312 --> 00:41:40,022
You know, when I first
decided on an acting career,
656
00:41:40,046 --> 00:41:42,755
I never planned to be
Hollywood's sex goddess.
657
00:41:42,779 --> 00:41:46,055
Oh, no. I wanted to
be known for my acting,
658
00:41:46,079 --> 00:41:47,844
not my physical endowments.
659
00:41:49,546 --> 00:41:53,355
Liz, why don't you
forget about Hollywood?
660
00:41:53,379 --> 00:41:54,658
It's all behind you now.
661
00:41:56,846 --> 00:42:00,189
Oh. I'm so glad it's behind me.
662
00:42:00,213 --> 00:42:02,789
With what we've got, who
needs Hollywood, hmm?
663
00:42:04,479 --> 00:42:06,388
Who needs civilization?
664
00:42:06,412 --> 00:42:09,655
Melvyn, do you believe in fate?
665
00:42:09,679 --> 00:42:13,388
Well, that depends. Why?
666
00:42:13,412 --> 00:42:16,888
I believe that fate threw
us together on this island.
667
00:42:16,912 --> 00:42:19,222
Movie star and truck driver.
668
00:42:19,246 --> 00:42:23,155
Well, regardless of
what threw us together,
669
00:42:23,179 --> 00:42:25,488
I never want to go back.
670
00:42:25,512 --> 00:42:27,689
Oh, neither do I, darling.
671
00:42:27,713 --> 00:42:29,877
We've got everything
here we'll ever need.
672
00:42:51,112 --> 00:42:53,922
Oh, you don't know
what a relief this is.
673
00:42:53,946 --> 00:42:58,389
Your boat was found adrift,
and we feared the worst.
674
00:42:58,413 --> 00:43:00,689
We're fine, Mr. Roarke.
We've never been better.
675
00:43:00,713 --> 00:43:03,255
The whole world is in
mourning for you, Miss Merrill.
676
00:43:03,279 --> 00:43:05,489
The whole world?
677
00:43:05,513 --> 00:43:08,155
International news
coverage is unprecedented.
678
00:43:08,179 --> 00:43:11,523
Your disappearance crowded
virtually all else off the front pages.
679
00:43:11,547 --> 00:43:15,289
Fans are thronging to
theaters to see your latest film.
680
00:43:15,313 --> 00:43:16,523
Really?
681
00:43:16,547 --> 00:43:17,723
Yes.
682
00:43:17,747 --> 00:43:19,222
Oh, well, of course,
683
00:43:19,246 --> 00:43:21,044
my fans always were very loyal.
684
00:43:24,112 --> 00:43:25,589
Gentlemen, I would
appreciate it very much
685
00:43:25,613 --> 00:43:27,489
if you got back
in your helicopter
686
00:43:27,513 --> 00:43:29,988
and just forget
you found us, okay?
687
00:43:30,012 --> 00:43:33,812
Very well. Is that also
your desire, Miss Merrill?
688
00:43:37,012 --> 00:43:40,122
You did say,
"thronging the theaters"?
689
00:43:40,146 --> 00:43:41,356
Yes.
690
00:43:41,380 --> 00:43:43,656
They're having Liz
Merrill film festivals
691
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:44,839
all over the country.
692
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,718
No, Mr. Roarke. It isn't.
693
00:43:53,747 --> 00:43:56,155
I'm sorry, Melvyn.
694
00:43:56,179 --> 00:43:59,311
You definitely wish to
remain here, Mr. Mews?
695
00:44:03,447 --> 00:44:08,523
Oh, Mr. Roarke, I can't greet
my fans dressed like this.
696
00:44:08,547 --> 00:44:10,923
Oh, that has been
arranged, Miss Merrill.
697
00:44:10,947 --> 00:44:14,056
Tattoo, will you kindly bring the
lady's suitcase from the helicopter?
698
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,023
Thank you. Suitcase?
699
00:44:16,047 --> 00:44:17,645
Well...
700
00:44:25,980 --> 00:44:27,219
Melvyn?
701
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:44,223
But I thought...
702
00:44:44,247 --> 00:44:46,190
I couldn't leave you, Melvyn.
703
00:44:46,214 --> 00:44:51,623
It seems I have a
terminal case of L-O-V-E.
704
00:44:51,647 --> 00:44:53,324
What about your fans?
705
00:44:53,348 --> 00:44:57,223
Well, they'll just have to find
themselves a new sex goddess.
706
00:44:57,247 --> 00:45:01,045
This one just retired
from the silver screen.
707
00:45:13,648 --> 00:45:16,457
Well, ladies. Did you
enjoy your fantasy?
708
00:45:16,481 --> 00:45:17,690
To the nth degree, Mr. Roarke.
709
00:45:17,714 --> 00:45:19,023
Oh, I'm very glad.
710
00:45:19,047 --> 00:45:21,557
Sorry that you don't be
permanent cheerleaders?
711
00:45:21,581 --> 00:45:26,190
Not really. We're going to be too
busy once the football season starts.
712
00:45:26,214 --> 00:45:27,989
Really? Busy doing what?
713
00:45:28,013 --> 00:45:31,223
Making sure some cheerleader
doesn't steal my place kicker.
714
00:45:31,247 --> 00:45:33,223
Or my quarterback.
715
00:45:33,247 --> 00:45:35,190
See you at the Super Bowl.
716
00:45:35,214 --> 00:45:37,223
Goodbye, Miss Atkins.
717
00:45:37,247 --> 00:45:38,557
Goodbye. Thank you. Miss Wilton.
718
00:45:38,581 --> 00:45:40,178
You're very welcome. Goodbye.
719
00:45:52,581 --> 00:45:56,023
Well, Tattoo, how's your
spy training coming along?
720
00:45:56,047 --> 00:46:00,424
Magnifique, boss. I found an
ultimate place where I can hide.
721
00:46:00,448 --> 00:46:02,223
Really?
722
00:46:02,247 --> 00:46:05,624
Where I can be seen
without being seen.
723
00:46:05,648 --> 00:46:08,056
And observe without
being observed.
724
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:12,324
Well, I must say you
have piqued my curiosity.
725
00:46:12,348 --> 00:46:14,857
And where is this
marvelous hiding place?
726
00:46:14,881 --> 00:46:15,946
Aha.
727
00:46:19,781 --> 00:46:20,957
A mailbag?
728
00:46:20,981 --> 00:46:23,490
Yeah. That's exactly
the point, boss.
729
00:46:23,514 --> 00:46:27,524
Who is gonna look
twice at a mailbag? Hmm?
730
00:46:27,548 --> 00:46:28,946
That is a point.
731
00:46:31,481 --> 00:46:32,879
Help me, please.
732
00:46:34,981 --> 00:46:36,357
There you are.
733
00:46:36,381 --> 00:46:37,590
Yes.
734
00:46:37,614 --> 00:46:38,924
Tie it up.
735
00:46:38,948 --> 00:46:42,157
Uh, Tattoo, are
you sure it's safe?
736
00:46:42,181 --> 00:46:44,290
It's perfectly safe, boss.
737
00:46:44,314 --> 00:46:46,679
All right. All right. Tie it up.
738
00:46:48,848 --> 00:46:53,291
Now, look. I've got two
holes for my eyes there to see.
739
00:46:53,315 --> 00:46:54,979
And one to breathe.
740
00:46:57,781 --> 00:47:00,347
All right. Nobody's
gonna find me, ever.
741
00:47:02,914 --> 00:47:05,079
Can you come out
and play, Tattoo?
742
00:47:07,415 --> 00:47:08,746
Tattoo?
743
00:47:17,715 --> 00:47:22,057
Boss, do you know anybody who
wants to buy second-hand books
744
00:47:22,081 --> 00:47:24,653
on camouflage, cheap?
51265
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