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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,770
I love when our moms
have book club.
2
00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:08,250
They talk books, and we have...
3
00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,420
- weeknight sleepovers!
- Weeknight sleepovers!
4
00:00:10,470 --> 00:00:14,250
Two best friends,
just doing their thang,
5
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:17,040
making collages or whatnot.
6
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:20,210
While my mom gets too drunk
to drive me home.
7
00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:23,300
Treasure Island! What'd you think?
8
00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:27,400
So good! How crazy
was Gonzo's story arc?!
9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,050
- Gonzo?
- Yeah!
10
00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:31,440
When they pulled him down
from the sail
11
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,400
and his fuzzy blue arms
got all stretched out
12
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:37,060
and he snapped back
like a window blind!
13
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:40,670
Dut-dut-dut-dut-dut-dut-dut.
That's good writing.
14
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:43,760
Francine, did you watch
Muppet Treasure Island<
15
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,110
instead of reading the book?
16
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:48,330
Yes. But it's basically
the same thing.
17
00:00:48,370 --> 00:00:50,330
There's no Muppets in the book!
18
00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,900
That sounds boring.
19
00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:54,510
Steve, I don't want to
bore you with the math.
20
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:55,900
Oh, by all means, do.
21
00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:58,120
These biweekly book club meetings
22
00:00:58,170 --> 00:01:01,430
account for almost 40%
of our friendship.
23
00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:04,520
Snot, you've confirmed
what I've always suspected.
24
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,180
Weeknight sleepovers are the
cornerstone of our friendship.
25
00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:10,000
The fact our moms are friends
26
00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,790
makes us the luckiest boys
in the universe.
27
00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,660
Do you like the way
I drew the letters?
28
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,660
They look like they came out
of a magazine, right?
29
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,840
You're out of your mind
if you think Gonzo's a dog.
30
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,840
He's blue.
31
00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:24,370
He woofed
when he saw the treasure!
32
00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:27,330
Sometimes I think we don't
have anything in common.
33
00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,540
Are we just pretending
to get along
34
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,110
because our sons are friends?
35
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,630
I think so.
36
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:34,460
Maybe we can... stop?
37
00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,680
Let's never hang out again!
38
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,820
Steve!
39
00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:41,300
We have an exciting announcement.
40
00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:45,470
Snot's Mom and I have decided to
stop pretending to be friends.
41
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,820
Pretending?
42
00:01:46,870 --> 00:01:49,700
Yep! Book club is
canceled forever.
43
00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:53,960
A 40% decrease in friendship?
44
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,400
Good morning, U.S.A.
45
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:03,230
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
46
00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:06,360
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
47
00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:10,460
And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
48
00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:15,980
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
49
00:02:16,030 --> 00:02:18,030
- Good...
- Good morning, U.S.A.
50
00:02:20,770 --> 00:02:24,030
Good morning, U.S.A.
51
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,860
Please, you have to stay friends!
52
00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,340
Think of the children!
53
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:31,040
No one's saying
you two can't be friends.
54
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,170
Why does it matter if we are?
55
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,520
Well, I don't want to bore you
with the math, Mrs. Smith...
56
00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:36,870
Please, don't.
57
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:40,180
Listen, maybe you just
need to clear the air.
58
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:42,750
Why don't we talk about what
bothers you about each other?
59
00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:44,010
I'll start.
60
00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:46,270
She's never seen
Muppet Treasure Island,
61
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,750
which is a big problem for me.
62
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,890
Book club is just an excuse
for you to get shithosed!
63
00:02:51,930 --> 00:02:53,890
You brought your own bartender!
64
00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:57,370
Paul Gary's the name,
mixologist is the game!
65
00:02:57,420 --> 00:03:00,940
I've got Aperol Spritzes.
Boiling hot Aperol Spritzes!
66
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,200
He's not even a good bartender!
67
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,420
Aperol Spritzers are served cold!
68
00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:08,030
What are you,
the Aperol Spritzers police?!
69
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,380
I'm sorry, I'm defensive
because you're right.
70
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:12,080
I'm a terrible mixologist!
71
00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:13,780
Let's go, Steve.
72
00:03:16,090 --> 00:03:18,920
Our friendship will
survive this, right?
73
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,050
I'll need to crunch the numbers.
74
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:25,920
If Paul Gary isn't a mixologist,
then who is he?
75
00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:28,230
This is the beginning...
76
00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:31,230
beginning of
a deeply personal journey.
77
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,630
This is...
Get over yourselves!
78
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:35,800
...my story.
79
00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:39,980
Cheer up, Steve.
80
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,760
We can still be friends
even if our moms aren't.
81
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:45,850
Your moms aren't friends
anymore? Well, I'm out.
82
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,950
I am not gonna watch
your friendship fall apart.
83
00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:50,250
What are you talking about?
84
00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:51,950
Your moms being friends
is the glue
85
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:53,690
holding the two of you together.
86
00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,470
It's like on the show Friends.
87
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,890
Remember how their friendship
was held together
88
00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:58,690
by a deep mutual love
89
00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:01,310
of being paid
a million dollars an episode?
90
00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:02,870
That's your moms.
91
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,790
That's... That's crazy.
92
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,010
Toshi, tell him.
93
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,840
Toshi? Toshi! Say something!
94
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,710
I speak fluent English
and have the whole time.
95
00:04:18,020 --> 00:04:20,450
Hey, guys, are your moms friends?
96
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,980
Was The Poisonwood Bible<
written by Barbara Kingsolver?
97
00:04:24,020 --> 00:04:26,370
We're not losing Barry and Toshi.
98
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:27,850
How do we fix this?
99
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,810
May I suggest drugging the moms?
100
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:32,990
Are you the bartender
from my mom's house?
101
00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:34,690
Sort of. You see,
102
00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:38,910
I'm on a deeply personal journey
to find out who I am.
103
00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:41,300
Okay.
104
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:43,300
Paul Gary isn't a mixologist,
105
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,130
so I enrolled at Pearl Bailey
to use the chemistry lab.
106
00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:49,660
Because I am now... A. Paul Gary,
107
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:51,490
drug mixologist.
108
00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:54,840
I mix illegal narcotics together
to see what they do.
109
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,490
And recently, I came across
something interesting.
110
00:04:57,540 --> 00:05:00,150
I was working in my lab
late one night,
111
00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:03,500
when my eyes
beheld an eerie sight.
112
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:06,150
That's "Monster Mash," right?
You're doing "Monster Mash"?
113
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,590
Never heard of it.
Anyway, I was working in the lab
114
00:05:08,630 --> 00:05:10,500
late one night...
115
00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:13,380
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
116
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:17,030
I had acid on a tab, weed in a bag
117
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,730
A splash of ether on a rag
118
00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:21,250
- He did the mash
- He did the mash
119
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,950
I did the narcotics mash
120
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,690
- Narcotics mash
- Narcotics mash
121
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:26,740
It was a coked-out bash
122
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,520
This is "Monster Mash"!
123
00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:30,920
I don't know that song!
124
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,530
I don't know any songs!
125
00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:35,050
All I do know is
your moms are MILDs...
126
00:05:35,090 --> 00:05:36,700
Mothers I'd Like to Drug.
127
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:40,580
And the mash I discovered in
my lab works as a love drug.
128
00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:43,100
Drugs can make people
fall in love?
129
00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:44,970
Drugs can do almost anything
130
00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:47,110
once you realize
they're super good for you.
131
00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:50,630
Anyway, I'm proposing we dose
your moms with the love drug
132
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:52,550
and make them fall back in love!
133
00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:53,900
And it will work?
134
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:56,640
Steve, are you actually thinking
about doing this?
135
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,210
- What other options do we have?
- I don't know!
136
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:01,640
We only brainstormed
for like two seconds
137
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,640
before we started talking
to this guy.
138
00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:06,080
Snot's in! Love that enthusiasm!
139
00:06:06,130 --> 00:06:08,390
I'll mix up the drugs,
and you two trick your moms
140
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:09,460
- into meeting up!
- They did the mash
141
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,260
Scary song!
142
00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:17,140
I can't believe
the Impractical Jokers<
143
00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:19,970
are doing a meet-and-greet
in Langley Falls!
144
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,920
Yeah, well, it's true.
145
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:24,270
Steve, you seem nervous.
146
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,450
Wait, are you worried the Jokers
are gonna joke you?
147
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,850
Don't flatter yourself.
148
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,760
No one's putting a hot dog
in your pocket.
149
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,290
Now, remember, Snot,
when we meet the Jokers,
150
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,330
you're my nephew.
151
00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:39,510
Francine.
152
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:44,340
Shove! Drugs!
153
00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:45,950
- What is this?
- Don't leave me in here...
154
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:49,130
Congrats on a perfectly executed
drugging, boys.
155
00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:51,210
To the 33rd floor!
156
00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:55,260
I really hope this works.
157
00:06:55,310 --> 00:06:58,180
Did you even notice that I
basically teleported us up here?
158
00:06:58,220 --> 00:06:59,610
I was impressed.
159
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:01,620
Thank you, Snot's Mom's kid.
160
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,440
Now, by the time these doors open,
161
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,620
your moms will be fast friends,
162
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:07,840
unless the dose is too strong.
163
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,060
Are you two prepared to
see your moms hooking up?
164
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,450
I'm not saying it's
what I want to see,
165
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,020
but I won't be disappointed.
166
00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:16,630
Well, I hope you two...
167
00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:21,550
What is happening?!
They're worse than before!
168
00:07:21,590 --> 00:07:24,070
This might not be a love drug.
169
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,810
Yeah, this is meth. I made meth.
170
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,640
Welp, when in Rome...
171
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,210
Well, this is surprising.
172
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:37,870
So to get us to be friends,
you drugged us?!
173
00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:40,000
I don't want you seeing Snot
anymore.
174
00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,000
He's a terrible influence on you!
175
00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:43,660
- What?!
- No way!
176
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:46,230
I forbid Snot from seeing Steve!
177
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:48,490
He's the one who started
calling him Snot,
178
00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:50,230
and now everyone says it!
179
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,840
No, mom! Please, it was my fault.
180
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,060
It's my fault! Don't do this!
181
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,500
But it's really my fault.
182
00:07:57,540 --> 00:08:00,330
I'm a terrible drug mixologist.
183
00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:04,240
Will A. Paul Gary ever know
who he's supposed to be?
184
00:08:04,290 --> 00:08:06,110
My story continues.
185
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,250
Well, I'm off. Goodbye, Father.
186
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,520
Goodbye, Sister. Goodbye, fish.
187
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,430
Damn, he left out Mother.
188
00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:19,910
Don't try to sneak around
with Snot at school.
189
00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:21,570
I will find out.
190
00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:23,520
We're finally getting rid of Snot?
191
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,050
Good. That kid is the worst.
192
00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:27,350
- Stan, you love Snot.
- I do?
193
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,620
Yeah, I think your
Memento< style amnesia
194
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:30,700
is acting up.
195
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:31,920
You need to check your tattoos.
196
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,060
Interesting.
197
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,360
Concerning.
198
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:40,370
Oh, yeah! Why are we getting
rid of Snot? He's the best!
199
00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:43,630
Because Mom can't put her son
ahead of her selfish wants.
200
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,420
That's how it started.
201
00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:48,460
But then someone decided
to drug their mom.
202
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:51,550
Oh, if it was so awful,
then why did you and Roger
203
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,420
finish the baggie and go
to that warehouse party?!
204
00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:57,510
I had no choice
but to dance it off!
205
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,820
"You appreciate your family."
206
00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:02,650
That doesn't sound right.
207
00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:05,130
No, it doesn't.
208
00:09:07,790 --> 00:09:11,400
Gosh, our moms did not respond
well to getting dosed?
209
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,750
No kidding.
210
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:14,840
My mom told me I couldn't
even see you at school.
211
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,750
Rule breakers!
212
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:20,800
Last night, I got a phone call
from your mom, Smith.
213
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,760
This friendship
has always weirded me out,
214
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,460
and I am on board
with tearing it apart!
215
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,850
Billy!
216
00:09:27,890 --> 00:09:30,160
Here are your new schedules.
217
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,770
Zero classes together.
218
00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:34,330
Billy, why are you helping him?
219
00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:37,120
I've already got the stitches.
220
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,950
Might as well be a snitches.
221
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,200
What are we going to do?
Lewis is everywhere.
222
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,980
We could build a friendship here.
223
00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,810
This stall isn't so bad.
224
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:16,460
I'm doing a trainspotting!
225
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:21,640
Steve and Snot, two friends,
both alike in stupidity.
226
00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:24,340
Busted as hell!
227
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,860
Since you can't be trusted,
228
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:28,170
I'll be escorting Smith
to his next class.
229
00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,750
Steve!
230
00:10:38,790 --> 00:10:40,400
What are you doing here?
231
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,050
I can't sit at home knowing
you're down the road
232
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,580
staring up at the same stars
as me!
233
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,840
I actually don't look at
the stars that often.
234
00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:49,670
They've always kind of bored me.
235
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:52,850
That's right, chuckle heads!
236
00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:55,410
I'm patrolling your houses, too!
237
00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:57,500
Run!
238
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,040
Go in on foot, Billy!
239
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,780
I'll cut them off
on the other side.
240
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,390
I think we lost him.
241
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,700
End of the road...
242
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:22,270
...for my hypocrisy.
243
00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:25,530
I, too, know what it is
to be in love.
244
00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,750
I wouldn't say we're in love.
245
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:30,710
But my father forbids our union.
246
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:34,110
I don't know why. He created her!
247
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:38,280
Isn't she beautiful?
248
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,722
- Yeah, yeah, super pretty.
- Totally.
249
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,290
Now go! Wait!
250
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:45,330
He needs to think
you overpowered me.
251
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:48,250
I know violence isn't
in your nature, but...
252
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,770
Eat knuckles, freak!
253
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:55,040
You went easy on me, Steve!
254
00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:58,480
Ma'am.
255
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,960
Over here!
256
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:06,090
Wait, this is
that bartender again.
257
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,440
Mixologist.
258
00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:10,100
And, yes, I'm still on
a deeply personal journey
259
00:12:10,140 --> 00:12:12,270
to discover
who I'm supposed to be.
260
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,010
But I think I've figured it out!
261
00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,670
And I've gone full apothecary!
262
00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:21,940
That's right! A. Paul Gary
is now A. Poth E. Cary,
263
00:12:21,980 --> 00:12:24,020
dealing in potions and poisons.
264
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,030
Which, at the moment, are
a little difficult to tell apart
265
00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:31,600
because my label maker is garbage.
266
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,470
I hear you've got a real
Romeo and Juliet< problem.
267
00:12:34,510 --> 00:12:37,600
Well, I have a
Romeo and Juliet< solution...
268
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:38,780
Fake your deaths!
269
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,350
Yes! There's that famous
Snot enthusiasm!
270
00:12:43,390 --> 00:12:44,830
You see, on this shelf,
271
00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:47,530
I've got thousands of unlabeled
potions and poisons.
272
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,700
This will put you
in a deep slumber,
273
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,970
indistinguishable from death.
274
00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:55,360
When you're found "dead," your
mothers will blame themselves.
275
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,710
We'll time it so you wake up
at your own funeral,
276
00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,040
and then you pop out
of your coffins,
277
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:00,410
and they'll be so relieved,
278
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:01,980
they'll let you be friends again!
279
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,800
Steve, we can't do this.
280
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,500
The love drug was a disaster.
281
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,550
Disaster? This guy's acting like
282
00:13:07,590 --> 00:13:09,640
you didn't see me punching
myself in the dick.
283
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:12,160
We don't have another choice.
284
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,160
Okay, let's do it.
285
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,860
Wait.
286
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:17,600
That one was the poison.
287
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,470
There.
288
00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:22,740
There.
289
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,170
There.
290
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,740
Actually. Here's the potion.
291
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:30,530
All the little ones are full
of poison... I think.
292
00:13:30,570 --> 00:13:33,090
But let's just decide
to feel confident.
293
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:12,390
Steve and Snot had a friendship
so close
294
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,610
that they died
in each other's arms,
295
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:17,400
clinging so tight that
they could not be separated.
296
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:22,140
Now they will be laid to rest
together, in one big-ass coffin.
297
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:28,320
Francine, I'm so sorry.
298
00:14:28,370 --> 00:14:31,150
All I had to do
was pretend to like you,
299
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,410
and none of this
would have happened!
300
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:36,590
No, Snot's Mom. I'm sorry.
301
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,640
I'd spend an eternity
pretending to like you
302
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,990
if it meant Steve
would be alive again.
303
00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:45,300
After our loved ones move on,
304
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,730
do we ever see them again
on this Earth?
305
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:49,610
Most people say no,
306
00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:53,610
but I say, sometimes
we get a second chance!
307
00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:58,090
Shit.
308
00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:00,790
I must've given them poison.
How could that have happened?
309
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:02,790
Everyone, I have an announcement.
310
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,660
This is actually a real funeral.
311
00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:07,100
This is a strange eulogy.
312
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:10,320
Second announcement...
I'm not a good apothecary.
313
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,150
My story marches onward.
314
00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:15,980
Please don't let Roger speak
at my funeral.
315
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:20,640
Guys, I know you're sad
about Snot,
316
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,290
but let me turn that grief
into relief,
317
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,510
that sadness into gladness,
318
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,860
that sorrow into "the sun'll
come out tomorrow".
319
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,780
I'm good at these.
320
00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:32,340
Wait! I was gonna
tell you something!
321
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,300
You know how I've been
on this crazy adventure
322
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,960
trying to nail down this persona?
323
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,960
Well, I got it!
324
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,350
Apothe-Carrie Bradshaw,
sex blogger!
325
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,570
I couldn't help but wonder,
would Steve be alive
326
00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:48,140
if I hadn't accidentally
poisoned him?
327
00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:51,710
But sometimes that's how it goes
when you're Sex and the City.
328
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,670
- You poisoned Steve?!
- And Snot!
329
00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:56,320
Easy!
330
00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,200
If you really miss him,
we can get him back.
331
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,720
What the hell are
you talking about?!
332
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,900
We can go to the underworld
and get him back.
333
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:04,900
The underworld?!
334
00:16:04,940 --> 00:16:07,680
No mortal knows the path
to the underworld!
335
00:16:07,730 --> 00:16:10,420
Yeah-huh! There's an elevator
in the back of Sub Hub.
336
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,860
They had a promotion in the '80s
337
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:13,780
where they were
sending people to hell.
338
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,520
Now that my two favorite sad moms
339
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,260
have put their differences aside,
340
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,910
it's time to get their boys back.
341
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,570
Then maybe brunch?
342
00:16:22,610 --> 00:16:24,870
We still have to find out
who sold them poison.
343
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,530
No, we don't! Stay focused.
344
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:30,710
Now, through this door lies
the entrance to the underworld.
345
00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,230
Join me on the elevator.
346
00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:37,540
Or hell-evator, as those
Sub Hub marketing geniuses
347
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:41,020
referred to it
in the summer of '87.
348
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:43,890
Here's how it works... Everyone
gets sent to different floors
349
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,550
based on how they lived
their lives.
350
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:46,940
There's a floor for philanderers,
351
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,590
gossips, heretics.
352
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,070
Oh! There's a Cinnabon on six!
353
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,210
- Roger!
- Okay, okay!
354
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,380
Someone's in a hurry
to find their dead son.
355
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,250
I think this should be it.
356
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,390
Snot's Mom, Steve's Mom,
357
00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:00,430
welcome to the floor
for masturbators.
358
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,830
I mean, it makes sense...
359
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,920
That was... horrifying!
360
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,230
No Steve and Snot.
361
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:14,750
Also, strange it's just
a twisted landscape
362
00:17:14,790 --> 00:17:16,230
full of guys cranking it.
363
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:17,800
Doesn't seem like a punishment.
364
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,150
More like a really good
warehouse party.
365
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:22,410
- Which floor is next?
- Sodomites.
366
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:24,410
I'd recommend waiting here.
367
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,280
Roger!
368
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,770
Did you stop at the Cinnabon?
369
00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:35,070
And even better, I finally
figured out who Paul Gary is.
370
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,510
A sodomite!
371
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:39,250
My journey has come to an end!
372
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,560
Oh, interesting.
373
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,000
The eighth floor is
just for nibbling tush.
374
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,910
My journey might just be
getting started!
375
00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:47,430
Roger! Where are the boys?
376
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,310
I'm out of ideas. Maybe we just
talk to the man in charge?
377
00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:52,270
And then no matter
what he tells us,
378
00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:54,830
we can circle back to
the tush nibbling floor.
379
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:59,450
And I'm sending my e-mail...
380
00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:00,840
now.
381
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,190
Okay, what are we doing here?
What do we need?
382
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,190
We're looking for our sons.
383
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,980
I will take you to them.
384
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,940
They are with the worst
of the worst.
385
00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:14,110
The floor for people
who support live comedy.
386
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,290
I didn't say
a billion oil tankers.
387
00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:19,820
I said a billion oil tankers!
388
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,640
Oops, I told that wrong!
That's my time!
389
00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:25,120
All right!
Keep it going for Crazy Dave.
390
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:28,740
Up next, he's the only comedian
down here... Crazy Dave!
391
00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:30,960
Just a reminder, guys.
392
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,830
This is a punishment for me, too.
393
00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:33,960
There they are!
394
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,480
- Steve!
- Mom!
395
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,960
- Snot!
- Snot's Mom!
396
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,660
You're coming home.
397
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,050
Who says we want to go?
398
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,970
Yeah, down here, no one says
we can't be friends.
399
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:45,580
You can be friends back home.
400
00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:48,150
Steve, I'm sorry.
401
00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:51,020
As a mother,
I should've put you first.
402
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:54,200
And it was wrong of me to do
something that made you die.
403
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,550
I'm sorry, too, Snot.
Children should be alive.
404
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:01,900
You guys really have
learned your lesson.
405
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,820
I love you, Mom. Let's go home.
406
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:07,380
Not so fast!
407
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:10,170
I can't just release souls back
into the world of the living.
408
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,430
A bargain must be struck!
409
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,350
Yow! That was sick!
410
00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:21,750
Your refusal
to spend time together
411
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:24,880
started Steve and Snot on
the journey that led them here.
412
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,190
If you want them to go back,
413
00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:30,360
you must stay behind
in this room together.
414
00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:32,240
Really?
415
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,540
For how long?
416
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,540
For eternity!
417
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:38,070
I heard you at the funeral!
You said you would!
418
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:41,110
But they'll be miserable
without their mothers!
419
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,200
They won't remember you.
No one will.
420
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,810
It will be as if
you never existed.
421
00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:48,210
But they will be alive.
422
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,990
And they'll have each other?
423
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,130
We accept.
424
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:56,780
Okay, great! That's great.
425
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,040
Just a bit of business...
In a half-hour or so,
426
00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:01,310
one of my archangels is actually
gonna need this room,
427
00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:04,480
so we'll probably have to
move you to another room.
428
00:20:04,530 --> 00:20:06,750
No, you know what?
I'm the devil, I'm the boss.
429
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:10,100
You're gonna stay here.
He can go to another room.
430
00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:12,410
You know what? I should ask.
431
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,980
Hey, wanna stay over at my
single dad's house tonight?
432
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,420
Weeknight sleepover!
433
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:24,770
I'll call my sisterless uncle!
434
00:20:27,030 --> 00:20:33,340
If I die before I'm famous
435
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:39,520
What's the point of anything?
436
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:44,830
I'm too sentimental to get...
437
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:48,620
In a different timeline,
you have different tattoos.
438
00:20:48,660 --> 00:20:50,310
That makes sense.
439
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,880
Francine loves
Muppet Treasure Island.
440
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,670
Francine? Who is...
441
00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:56,450
Francine!
442
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:58,450
Bye! Have a great time!
32436
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