All language subtitles for Family Ties S07E12 The Job Not Taken.DVDRip.NonHI.en.CBS.EN

♪♪

♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪

- Hey.
- Hi, honey.

- Hey, Dad.
- How was work?

Oh, another day, another dollar.

You know, Dad, yours
is one of the few jobs

where that's literally true.

Maybe so, Alex, but
today was no ordinary day.

On the way home, I, uh,
noticed that Murphy's Bookstore

- was having a going-out-of-business sale.
- Oh.

So I stopped off and I got a
little something for everybody.

Oh.

Elyse, this is for you.

Cat in the Hat?

Oh, um, no. That's,
uh... that's Andy's.

There's yours.

Oh. Gothic Architecture
in Ancient Babylonia.

I'll take Cat in the Hat.

No way, Mom.

Mal, here you go.

Oh, God!

Oh, it's the new Shirley
MacLaine autobiography...

There Must Be a Higher
Power in the Universe

If I'm Making So Much
Money Doing What I'm Doing.

Thanks, Dad.

Oh.

You're welcome. Jen, I
thought you might enjoy this.

Trout Fishing in Canada.

Finally in paperback. Thanks.

Oh, no. They-they must
have given me the wrong book.

I'll take care of that
tomorrow, and Alex,

number one on the
financial best seller list.

Hey, Dad.

Now Give Me Money,
That's What I Want.

That's what I wa-a-a-a-ant.

That's what I want.

And best of all, I
got this for myself.

Oh, The American Medical
Association Medical Guide.

You feeling okay?

- Oh, I'm fine. Fine, Elyse.
- Oh.

It's just, since
the heart attack,

I've been more concerned
about, uh, good health,

and this book has home
remedies, uh, safety tips,

symptoms of all
your major diseases.

Sounds like a real
page-turner, Dad.

Oh, it is, Mal, it is.

Uh, now, for example,
let's say you've been feeling

tired, irritated,
frustrated, depressed.

You turn to the
self-diagnosis chart,

and it tells you what you have.

Oh, teenagers.

Well, this teenager's
about to drop from hunger

if we don't eat soon.

Well, honey, the alfalfa
barnacle croquettes are ready.

Ah, darn it.

And I'm going out for dinner.

With whom?

With Paul Corman.

Oh, that's nice. I
haven't seen him

since he graduated
from Leland last year.

What's he doing now?

What's he doing now?

He happens to be an
associate at Dunn and Bradley,

the biggest investment
banking firm in Ohio.

Ooh.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mal.

I know that's not as impressive
as most of your friends.

I mean, who could
forget Shirley Applebaum,

the woman who invented
neon support hose?

Hey.

- Alex.
- Hey, Paul.

Hey, give me your coat.

- You know everybody, right?
- Paul.

- Hey, Paul.
- How are you?

- Hi, everybody.
- So...

What's new in the market?

Well, I'm assuming you
read Stimson's article

in the Journal today?

Oh, yeah. You know, I
can't believe he's still carrying

that old Keynesian
deficit spending

currency-infusion banner.

Actually I thought
he did a good job

refuting Dawson's pseudo-supply
side inversion theory.

Well, granted, Dawson's last
essay was way too reminiscent

of Klemps' piece on the
refinancing of third-world debt

through a suspension
of the IMF loans.

At least it was better
than Oppenheimer's piece.

Oh, God, did you read
Oppenheimer's piece?

- That bit about the variable prime rates?
- Prime rates.

Oh, stop it. Stop it.

Stop.

Whoa...

Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

- I guess you had to be there.
- Oh, God.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry, we must
be boring the rest of you.

I did just have an
out-of-body experience.

Oh, by the way, Alex.

Uh, Dunn and Bradley are
looking to hire a new associate,

and I-I gave your résumé
to the hiring committee,

and they want to meet with
you sometime next week.

Well, I hope you don't mind.

Now, let me give you a
complete tour of the place.

This is my desk.

- Hey...
- Nice, isn't it?

Everything you need to
make it in the business world.

Computer, fax machine, terminal,

Pepto-Bismol...

extra-strength Pepto-Bismol.

Industrial-strength Maalox.

And, hey, look at this.

Whoa.

That was when we, uh,
co-won the Newman Award

for excellence in
undergraduate economics.

We really had some
good times, didn't we?

- Yup, I'll say.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, remember the, uh,
night of our high school prom?

We snuck down and we
watched them load tens and 20s

into the automatic
teller machine.

It's one of the most
romantic nights of my life.

Good morning, Mr. Corman.

Uh, good morning, Ms. Daniels.

Ms. Foster is ready
for Mr. Keaton now.

Okay, listen, Paul, uh,

no matter what
happens in there, um...

I really want to thank you
for setting up this interview.

Listen, you just go in
there, knock 'em dead.

No, you listen to me.

I'm not gonna stand
for this nonsense.

I won't be jerked
around, you understand?

Either you come through
for me, or you're out.

You can be replaced, you know.

All right. Say hello to Dad.

Alex Keaton.

I'm Jessica Foster.
Good to meet you.

Good to meet you, Ms. Foster.

Alex Keaton.

Yes, I know.

- Please have a seat.
- Yeah, thank you.

I agreed to see you
today, Mr. Keaton,

because this is an
outstanding résumé.

Fine school, excellent grades,

terrific recommendations.

I was particularly impressed

with this one from,
uh, Richard Nixon.

Unfortunately that
may not be enough.

I'm sorry, excuse me?

Every applicant who comes in
that door went to a top school

and received straight As.

I'm looking for
something special.

Something different.

Something... extraordinary.

I do a little juggling.

I'm quite serious, Mr. Keaton.

If you're not, perhaps we should
just terminate this interview.

Ah, well, Ms. Foster,

look, uh, I-I understand exactly

what it is you're getting at

and, believe me, I can help you.

Really?

How exciting.

I can help you...

because not only do I
have the basic training

and know-how necessary to
structure a takeover merger,

supervise a leveraged buyout,

and-and make change blindfolded,

I also have what
can't be taught.

A vibrant,

passionate,

almost life-threatening

love of money.

A killer instinct for cash.

A lust for traveler's checks.

Now, sure, everyone who comes
through this door loves money.

But do they dream about it?

Do they fantasize about it?

Do they roll around naked in it?

I do.

Now, Ms. Foster, I'm sure

you're familiar with the saying

that the love of money
is the root of all evil.

So what?

They're gonna have to
do a lot better than that

to get me to stop loving money.

I mean, it is as
fundamental to our lives

as-as food, air, and shelter.

Ms. Foster, you asked
for something special.

I am something special.

I am something different.

I am something extraordinary.

I am money, hear me roar!

Elyse.

Would you feel my head?

Why?

I think I'm coming
down with malaria.

Steven, that is
the fourth disease

you've contracted
since you got that book.

That's been... what?

Malaria, mumps, chicken pox,

and postpartum depression.

You look fine to me, Dad.

Well, excuse me, Mal,
but I don't remember

seeing your medical
degree around recently.

In fact, I doubt that any of
you are really equipped to deal

with even the most common
medical emergencies.

Such as?

Well, for example,

do any of you know how
to handle snake bites?

Sure, you suck the poison out.

Not necessarily, Mal.

It all depends on the type
of snake that's involved.

You see,

the copperhead's bite

only results in mild
pain and discomfort.

But the cobra's bite

induces dizziness,

disorientation, and delirium.

It's obviously the
one that got you.

Hey, hey.

- Hi, Alex. -Hi, Alex.
- Alex.

How'd the interview go?

Well, let me put it
to you this way, Jen,

all my life there's been
something I wanted to buy,

but I never had the
occasion to wear it.

Well, today...

I bought it.

Well, either you got the job

or you've been
possessed by Mr. Magoo.

I got the job.

- Oh, that's great, great.
- Hey, Alex!

And you know what they said?

They said that if it goes well,

they're gonna transfer
me to Wall Street.

Do you know what that means?

You'll be moving out.

It means... I will be rich.

And that is all I've ever
wanted my whole life.

Well, to be rich and not
to go bald before I was 30.

And to have a Porsche

and to not go bald
in that Porsche.

He's delirious.

Maybe got bit by a cobra.

And I would like you
all to have one of these

as a token of my
profound gratitude.

Thanks, son, this
makes it all worthwhile.

And here is the man

that I have to
thank for all of this.

You know what we're
gonna do tonight?

You know how we're
gonna celebrate?

We're gonna pop open a
couple bottles of champagne,

and we're gonna watch
reruns of Wall Street Week

until the sun comes up.

Let the good times roll, Alex.

But first I'm gonna
take you all out to eat

for the most expensive meal

you can get at Guido's.

- Yum, I think I can eat with this fever.
- All right.

Okay, let's, uh,
let's get moving

so we can catch
the early bird special.

So, you think that I'm gonna
have a desk near yours?

Actually I-I think you're
gonna have my desk.

What does that mean?

Alex, they fired me.

You're kidding me, right?

Foster called me into her office
just before the end of the day.

She said she was
unhappy with my work,

that I didn't have
enough of a lust for cash,

and that I don't want to
roll around naked in money.

What sort of lunatic
would do that?

She said there are only so
many positions at the firm,

and that you had the
kind of killer instinct

that, uh, she was looking for.

I'm really sorry, Paul.

Eh, it's okay. I mean, I was
probably on the way out anyway.

You know, I, I'd rather see
you get it than somebody else.

- Right.
- Well, listen, I-I'm go... I'm gonna go.

- I'll, uh, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- All right.

Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll
give you a call.

Okay.

Where's Paul?

Didn't you invite him to dinner?

Uh, he didn't feel
much like going out.

He just found out he got fired.

Well, that's terrible... On
the same day you were hired.

Yeah, I think I got his job.

Well, you're not
gonna take it, are you?

Of course I'm gonna
take it, Jennifer.

I mean, this is the way it
is in the business world.

But, honey, he's your friend.

Mom, I am not gonna turn down
a job that pays $45,000 a year.

$45,000?

How well did you
really know him?

Let's go. Let's go celebrate.

No, wait, Alex...

how can you celebrate
at a time like this?

All right, forget it.

I'll go celebrate by myself.

I knew he'd get out of
paying for this dinner.

Well, good morning, Mr. Keaton.
Welcome to your first day

- at Dunn and Bradley.
- Good morning, Ms. Foster.

I'll tell you,
Mr. Keaton, I envy you.

I remember my
first day on the job.

It was so exciting.

I was right out of Harvard.

Right. A business major?

No, a literature major.
What a waste of time.

Well, it could have been worse.

Could have been an ethics major.

All right, let's
get back to work.

This is the paperwork
on the Dell merger.

I'd like an analysis

- by the end of the day.
- No problem.

And, uh, you can take
Corman's old desk.

Right.

Yeah, Alex P. Keaton.

No, I'm, I'm sorry. Paul Corman
doesn't work here anymore.

No, I don't feel
guilty about that.

All right, Mallory,
knock it off.

Please hold.

Come in.

Uh, Ms. Foster...

I finished that analysis
of the Dell merger.

Hmm, very nice, Mr. Keaton.

Very nice.

This is the best analysis
I've seen in months.

You're going to do
very well here, Alex.

Thank you very much.

I quit.

You have trouble with
compliments, don't you?

Look, uh, I'm sitting out here,

looking over market reports,

merger profiles,
security violations...

Stuff I love...

but I can't enjoy it.

I can't enjoy it

because I took a friend's job.

Mr. Keaton, I understand
what you're going through.

We all have friends.

Not me personally.

But we can't let them
get in the way of business.

Yeah, maybe that's true,
but, uh, it's not the way

I want to get my
business career started.

Ms. Foster, look, I
appreciate the opportunity,

but I'm sorry, I'm
gonna have to resign.

Fine. Whatever you want.

But you know what
I think, Mr. Keaton?

I think you're just
a nice, sweet guy.

Take that back.

I bet you've never done anything
truly nasty in your entire life.

Oh, yeah?

Get my family on the phone.

What did you ever do that
showed a killer instinct?

In the seventh grade I
poured salt on a slug.

A lot of salt.

You're pathetic!
Get out of my office!

All right, fine, okay, okay.
Let me tell you something.

I may be a nice guy, but you...

have way too many
lamps in this office!

All right, you've pulled

your drowning victim
out of the water.

You've completed
the resuscitation.

Now, the next step is to
expel the water from the lungs,

which is achieved with a firm
push on the chest cavity so.

Oh, that's mature, Elyse.

Well, Steven, you've been
letting that silly medical book

dominate your whole life.

It's true, Dad. Every day we've
had a first-aid demonstration.

It's like living with
the school nurse.

These are all very
basic techniques

that everyone should know!

Dad, how often are we gonna
have to extract poison arrows?

Yeah, you walk around
complaining about ailments

you couldn't possibly have!

Like what?

Oh, Steven, you are not molting!

Oh, no, Elyse? This is
my second skin today.

I don't know what's
happening to me.

Hey, guys.

Hey, honey, how was
your first day at work?

I quit.

Boy, nobody works at that
place very long, do they?

Ah, you guys were right.

I mean, I couldn't take
that job after they fired Paul.

I thought I could just go
down there and forget about it,

but, uh, didn't
work out that way.

Honey, I think that
was very noble of you.

You had to make a choice
between money and friendship,

and you chose friendship.

Boy, I would have
lost my shirt on that bet.

I don't think you
guys fully appreciate

how devastating this is to me.

I mean, I always assumed
that when the time came,

that I could be cold
and heartless and tough.

That's what it takes to
make it in the business world.

Instead it turns out
I've got a conscience.

Damn it.

Alex, you did the right thing.

Otherwise you wouldn't have
been able to live with yourself.

As Friedrich
Nietzsche once said,

"If a friend does evil to you,

"say to him, 'I forgive
you for what you did to me,

but how could I forgive you
for what you did to yourself? ""

Grow up, Jen.

Alex, I'm sure there are plenty
of sharks in the business world,

but I'm also sure
there are plenty

of decent, compassionate people
who have become very successful.

Oh, Dad, name one.

Well, there's your
Uncle Charlie.

Dad, Uncle Charlie
manufactures wax fruit.

Not only. He's been
getting into lips and candles.

No, no, let's face it. I
haven't got what it takes.

I'm just not tough
enough to make it.

I got to find myself a
kinder, gentler profession.

Maybe I'll become a nun.

You could work
with me at the station.

Nuns make more.

Look, honey, even if you are
nice, we're still proud of you.

Dad, I was looking
in your medical book.

I have a question.

Oh, sure, Andy. What's up?

What's human reproduction?

Well, Andy, it's, um...

Uh... mm...

sort of...

Elyse?

Your father doesn't
actually know, honey.

It's, it's when a man
and a woman, uh...

Birds do it. Uh...

Bees do it.

Educated fleas do it.

Nice going, Dr. Ruth.

Girls, help us out here.

How should we know?
You never told us.

Un, Andy, look,
come out in the kitchen

- and we'll explain it to you. Come on.
- Yeah.

I know what it means.

I just wanted to see
how they would react.

Hey, Paul.

Are you crazy? Why did you quit?

Listen, get on the
phone, call Foster,

and tell her you
want that job back.

Forget it, Paul. I'm
not taking your job.

It's not my job. It's
a job and it's open.

You should have never let it go.

You would have done
the same thing for me.

Oh, yeah, really?

You think I would have quit
a $45,000-a-year job for you?

Yeah.

Well, you're right.

$50,000 would be a
different story, of course.

I completely understand.

Well, I'll tell you
this much, Alex.

You're a hell of a nice guy.

Look, I know, I
know. I'll grow out of it.

Anyway, there are a lot
of, lot of jobs out there.

Oh, actually I, uh,
I think I got a shot

at a job over at Hughes-Simpson.

Hey, congratulations.

Hey, well, you know, guys
like us bounce back quick.

Hey, you bet.

Think you can get
me an interview?

Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.