Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:11,684 --> 00:00:13,250
You won't leave your house.
3
00:00:13,286 --> 00:00:14,618
You're stoned before breakfast.
4
00:00:14,654 --> 00:00:15,619
And you look like...
5
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,287
I look like what?
6
00:00:17,322 --> 00:00:19,489
You look like what
I imagine you'd look like
7
00:00:19,524 --> 00:00:21,516
if you'd never left Michigan.
8
00:00:21,829 --> 00:00:25,127
We had a vehement conversation
about Anthony Powner Smith.
9
00:00:25,163 --> 00:00:26,562
Who knows? He might surprise you.
10
00:00:26,598 --> 00:00:27,697
By tap-dancing.
11
00:00:27,732 --> 00:00:29,565
That is wildly offensive.
12
00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:30,566
You're wildly offensive.
13
00:00:30,602 --> 00:00:32,134
Hello, good people.
14
00:00:32,170 --> 00:00:33,235
Ah.
15
00:00:33,271 --> 00:00:36,672
Numbers through the roof!
16
00:00:36,707 --> 00:00:37,539
No shit?
17
00:00:37,574 --> 00:00:38,607
Get your ass down there.
18
00:00:38,642 --> 00:00:39,808
You got a show to shoot!
19
00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:40,776
We'll see.
20
00:00:40,811 --> 00:00:42,644
He has demands?
21
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,246
He masturbated in front of America.
22
00:00:45,282 --> 00:00:47,115
And America said,
23
00:00:47,150 --> 00:00:48,583
"Thank you."
24
00:01:31,379 --> 00:01:39,141
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:44,655
So you'd be playing this guy
26
00:01:44,691 --> 00:01:46,757
who used to be a hit man for the mob.
27
00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:48,092
So typecasting?
28
00:01:48,127 --> 00:01:49,827
Yeah.
29
00:01:49,862 --> 00:01:51,328
You just got out of prison,
30
00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:52,964
and you're trying to stay clean,
31
00:01:52,999 --> 00:01:54,732
but you got no money.
32
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:55,933
Totally broke.
33
00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:56,934
Got it.
34
00:01:56,970 --> 00:01:58,502
So you're only option
35
00:01:58,537 --> 00:02:00,036
is to move in with your mother
36
00:02:00,072 --> 00:02:01,638
in her retirement community
37
00:02:01,673 --> 00:02:03,840
in Florida.
38
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:06,710
It's kind of Goodfellas meets Cocoon.
39
00:02:06,745 --> 00:02:07,777
Funny.
40
00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:10,847
Ugh.
41
00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:12,916
Sorry, I got to grab this. My ex-wife.
42
00:02:12,951 --> 00:02:14,593
Oh, no, go-go-go.
43
00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:15,884
Yo?
44
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,319
So, uh,
45
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:18,821
I saw your little show
46
00:02:18,856 --> 00:02:20,055
with the girl in the box.
47
00:02:20,091 --> 00:02:22,290
Yeah, that was a shit-storm.
48
00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:24,392
But hey, ratings are up 30%.
49
00:02:24,428 --> 00:02:25,393
30%.
50
00:02:25,429 --> 00:02:27,329
Aw, I'm happy for you.
51
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:28,330
Eh, hey.
52
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,599
Are you fuckin' crazy?
53
00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:31,667
One of the kids at school
54
00:02:31,702 --> 00:02:33,367
saw it and told Michael.
55
00:02:33,402 --> 00:02:34,736
So Michael watched it.
56
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:35,803
Then Michael
57
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:36,804
showed Aiden.
58
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,372
So now both your boys
59
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:40,474
have seen you
with your dick in your hand,
60
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:42,977
jerking off to some girl in a glass box
61
00:02:43,013 --> 00:02:44,478
with her cooch hanging out.
62
00:02:46,549 --> 00:02:48,049
30%.
63
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,550
I'm not fuckin' doing this with you.
64
00:02:49,585 --> 00:02:51,384
The therapist says
you got to talk to them.
65
00:02:51,419 --> 00:02:52,914
Ah... can't you do it?
66
00:02:52,949 --> 00:02:54,554
No. This is your mess.
67
00:02:54,589 --> 00:02:55,749
You clean it up.
68
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,824
Which I'm sure you didn't do
after your little video.
69
00:02:57,860 --> 00:02:59,059
Fine. Whatever.
70
00:02:59,094 --> 00:02:59,926
I gotta go.
71
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:00,827
Go.
72
00:03:01,930 --> 00:03:02,863
You all right?
73
00:03:02,898 --> 00:03:04,364
Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry.
74
00:03:04,399 --> 00:03:06,086
Um, so you were saying...
75
00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:09,902
I have no idea what
you were saying, um...
76
00:03:09,937 --> 00:03:11,303
one more time.
77
00:03:14,042 --> 00:03:16,042
Julie and her fiance Dave
78
00:03:16,077 --> 00:03:17,710
Have been looking in the Chicago area...
79
00:03:17,745 --> 00:03:18,978
Come on. Get dressed.
80
00:03:19,013 --> 00:03:20,012
We're going on a hike.
81
00:03:20,048 --> 00:03:21,380
No, I'm not.
82
00:03:21,415 --> 00:03:22,848
Yes, you are.
83
00:03:22,884 --> 00:03:24,949
This is ridiculous.
You've got to get out of here.
84
00:03:24,985 --> 00:03:26,350
I'm in the middle of something.
85
00:03:26,386 --> 00:03:27,585
What?
86
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,054
This stupid woman and her husband
87
00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:30,855
are looking for a house.
88
00:03:30,891 --> 00:03:33,291
The first house in Buffalo Grove...
89
00:03:33,326 --> 00:03:35,560
How many hours have you
been at this today?
90
00:03:35,595 --> 00:03:36,961
What time is it?
91
00:03:36,997 --> 00:03:37,862
9:30.
92
00:03:37,898 --> 00:03:39,286
Oh.
93
00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:41,065
The longer you stay here,
94
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,599
the harder it's gonna be to leave.
95
00:03:42,634 --> 00:03:43,633
It's like quicksand.
96
00:03:43,669 --> 00:03:45,769
You sit here, hour after hour,
97
00:03:45,805 --> 00:03:46,970
watching these shows,
98
00:03:47,006 --> 00:03:47,905
getting high...
99
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:49,439
I'm not getting high.
100
00:03:49,474 --> 00:03:50,307
Since when?
101
00:03:50,342 --> 00:03:51,508
Since I ran out of dope.
102
00:03:51,543 --> 00:03:52,876
Aww.
103
00:03:52,912 --> 00:03:54,712
You're like a white Billie Holiday.
104
00:03:54,747 --> 00:03:56,720
It's not funny.
105
00:03:57,049 --> 00:03:58,647
I can't afford any more.
106
00:03:58,683 --> 00:03:59,982
Well,
107
00:04:00,018 --> 00:04:01,483
I do have a thought about that.
108
00:04:01,519 --> 00:04:03,019
You're buying me dope?
109
00:04:03,054 --> 00:04:04,386
No.
110
00:04:06,457 --> 00:04:07,824
If you need money,
111
00:04:07,859 --> 00:04:10,526
and this is gonna sound
a little extreme,
112
00:04:10,561 --> 00:04:11,861
have you considered
113
00:04:11,896 --> 00:04:13,963
suing Helen and the network?
114
00:04:13,998 --> 00:04:15,296
I can't do that.
115
00:04:15,332 --> 00:04:16,698
No, hear me out.
116
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:19,334
Your employer initiated
an affair with you,
117
00:04:19,369 --> 00:04:21,269
and then, when she broke up with you,
118
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:26,041
she created a hostile work environment,
119
00:04:26,076 --> 00:04:27,743
forcing you to leave.
120
00:04:27,778 --> 00:04:28,710
And now,
121
00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:30,678
you can't get hired.
122
00:04:30,714 --> 00:04:31,546
Oh.
123
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:32,813
I don't know.
124
00:04:32,849 --> 00:04:34,815
I think you have a very strong case.
125
00:04:34,851 --> 00:04:37,517
It just doesn't feel right.
126
00:04:37,553 --> 00:04:40,020
I mean, a lawsuit?
127
00:04:40,056 --> 00:04:43,323
Also, it seems like so much work.
128
00:04:43,359 --> 00:04:45,659
Yes, it would cut into
your busy schedule
129
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,896
as a real estate viewer.
130
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,108
So...
131
00:04:51,466 --> 00:04:53,633
...you ever see her?
132
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,763
Who? Helen?
133
00:04:54,799 --> 00:04:56,150
Mm, sometimes.
134
00:04:56,186 --> 00:04:57,104
In meetings.
135
00:04:57,139 --> 00:04:58,571
She doesn't, um,
136
00:04:58,606 --> 00:05:00,991
ever ask about me, does she?
137
00:05:01,027 --> 00:05:02,942
Probably not.
138
00:05:02,978 --> 00:05:05,544
I... I'm just curious.
139
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:07,479
After everything she did to you?
140
00:05:07,514 --> 00:05:10,715
She literally stripped you naked,
141
00:05:10,751 --> 00:05:12,951
- on a hill.
- I know.
142
00:05:12,987 --> 00:05:14,619
That you're even thinking about her!
143
00:05:14,655 --> 00:05:15,487
I know.
144
00:05:15,522 --> 00:05:16,855
Please.
145
00:05:16,891 --> 00:05:17,990
Get out of this house.
146
00:05:18,025 --> 00:05:19,424
Get out of your head.
147
00:05:19,459 --> 00:05:21,260
- I will.
- When?
148
00:05:21,295 --> 00:05:24,528
Right after Love It or List It
and Property Brothers.
149
00:05:24,563 --> 00:05:26,727
And Flip or Flop.
150
00:05:30,937 --> 00:05:33,337
So I'd be playing
this former hit man who
151
00:05:33,372 --> 00:05:35,673
has to move into his mother's
retirement community.
152
00:05:35,708 --> 00:05:39,677
It's like a cross between
Goodfellas and Cocoon.
153
00:05:39,712 --> 00:05:40,877
Prosecco.
154
00:05:40,913 --> 00:05:42,879
Oh, we didn't order any...
155
00:05:42,915 --> 00:05:44,380
Our compliments.
156
00:05:44,416 --> 00:05:45,615
Thanks.
157
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,317
They like to bring me stuff here.
158
00:05:47,352 --> 00:05:48,451
Why?
159
00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:50,208
Why?
160
00:05:50,522 --> 00:05:52,488
So the bit is all these old people
161
00:05:52,524 --> 00:05:54,891
keep trying to hire me
to kill each other.
162
00:05:55,297 --> 00:05:56,844
And they're, like, worse than the mob.
163
00:05:56,869 --> 00:05:58,201
Oh, that's funny.
164
00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,144
Is it?
165
00:05:59,179 --> 00:05:59,995
Mmm.
166
00:06:00,031 --> 00:06:01,530
See, that's what I was afraid of.
167
00:06:01,565 --> 00:06:03,232
I... oh.
168
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:05,400
Oh, thank you. And this is?
169
00:06:05,436 --> 00:06:07,402
Chef's house-made goose liver pâté.
170
00:06:07,438 --> 00:06:09,357
Wait until you try this.
171
00:06:09,392 --> 00:06:10,670
Thank him for us, please.
172
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:11,673
Bon appétit.
173
00:06:14,555 --> 00:06:15,887
It helps if you
eat a lot of bread with it.
174
00:06:15,923 --> 00:06:16,822
What about you?
175
00:06:16,857 --> 00:06:18,190
No, I fucking hate pâté.
176
00:06:18,226 --> 00:06:19,291
I hate geese.
177
00:06:19,327 --> 00:06:21,026
Why didn't you say something?
178
00:06:21,061 --> 00:06:22,995
I made a big fuss
the first time they brought it.
179
00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:25,063
Now they bring it every time.
Just eat it.
180
00:06:25,099 --> 00:06:26,165
Why do I have to eat it?
181
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,032
It'd be rude.
182
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:27,899
So you eat it.
183
00:06:29,903 --> 00:06:31,669
Okay, look, forget about
the hit man in Florida.
184
00:06:31,704 --> 00:06:32,604
You're right. It sucks.
185
00:06:32,639 --> 00:06:34,548
- Here's another one.
- Another one?
186
00:06:34,584 --> 00:06:36,611
Did you ask me here just
to pick my brain about these?
187
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,209
No, come on.
188
00:06:38,245 --> 00:06:39,966
I haven't seen you.
189
00:06:41,014 --> 00:06:42,980
All right.
190
00:06:43,016 --> 00:06:44,649
But since I got you here...
191
00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:46,028
You've got a list?
192
00:06:46,063 --> 00:06:47,885
- There's not that many.
- How many's not that many?
193
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,392
Um...
194
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:54,158
All right, just pitch me
your absolute favorite.
195
00:06:54,193 --> 00:06:55,792
What's the one
you're really excited about?
196
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:57,994
Well, really excited?
197
00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,263
Okay, let's try this.
198
00:06:59,298 --> 00:07:00,930
Go through your list,
199
00:07:00,966 --> 00:07:03,900
eliminate every one
where you're recently divorced.
200
00:07:03,935 --> 00:07:04,801
Gotcha.
201
00:07:04,836 --> 00:07:06,669
Or a "former" something.
202
00:07:06,704 --> 00:07:08,237
Sure.
203
00:07:08,273 --> 00:07:11,707
Who "reluctantly"
agrees to do something.
204
00:07:11,742 --> 00:07:15,794
Especially if you're "forced
to move in with" someone.
205
00:07:16,247 --> 00:07:19,782
Oh, and nix anything
with the words "dysfunctional,"
206
00:07:19,817 --> 00:07:21,551
uh, "instant family,"
207
00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:23,685
or "comes to realize."
208
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:24,919
What's wrong with "comes to realize"?
209
00:07:24,954 --> 00:07:26,288
Because whatever it is,
210
00:07:26,323 --> 00:07:28,523
the network will insist
you "come to realize" it
211
00:07:28,559 --> 00:07:29,957
by the end of the pilot.
212
00:07:29,993 --> 00:07:31,193
So then you've got no show.
213
00:07:31,228 --> 00:07:33,478
Right, okay. Give me a second.
214
00:07:34,598 --> 00:07:36,198
At least try the fucking pâté.
215
00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:47,675
Eh.
216
00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:49,202
Well?
217
00:07:49,945 --> 00:07:52,145
I've never actually tasted baby shit,
218
00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:53,714
but I have to assume.
219
00:07:53,749 --> 00:07:55,182
Okay, done.
220
00:07:55,218 --> 00:07:56,583
So what have you got left?
221
00:07:56,618 --> 00:07:58,017
Fuck.
222
00:07:58,052 --> 00:07:59,985
I don't want to do
the one where I'm a ghost.
223
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,120
Probably wise.
224
00:08:01,155 --> 00:08:03,489
And I just realized, it's a ghost
225
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,758
who has an instant family
and they're dysfunctional.
226
00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:07,527
Jesus.
227
00:08:07,562 --> 00:08:09,895
Look, you're in a unique position.
228
00:08:09,931 --> 00:08:11,598
You have a ton of fuck-you money
229
00:08:11,633 --> 00:08:12,699
and a good day job.
230
00:08:12,734 --> 00:08:15,500
You can afford to take a risk.
231
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,769
You need to come back with
something no one's expecting.
232
00:08:17,804 --> 00:08:19,271
Do a drama.
233
00:08:19,306 --> 00:08:21,773
Do a really dark comedy.
234
00:08:21,808 --> 00:08:23,609
If you're gonna play a former hit man
235
00:08:23,644 --> 00:08:26,077
with a bunch of old people,
fucking shoot some of them.
236
00:08:26,113 --> 00:08:28,747
Do a show that'll make people go, "Shit,
237
00:08:28,782 --> 00:08:30,848
I didn't know he could do that."
238
00:08:31,395 --> 00:08:32,494
Yes.
239
00:08:34,053 --> 00:08:35,720
You guys got to do it.
240
00:08:38,224 --> 00:08:39,890
Can I start you with something to drink?
241
00:08:39,925 --> 00:08:40,991
Iced tea for me.
242
00:08:41,026 --> 00:08:42,437
Double scotch, neat.
243
00:08:42,462 --> 00:08:43,360
Very good.
244
00:08:43,395 --> 00:08:44,995
A double scotch.
245
00:08:46,131 --> 00:08:47,497
It's my wife's medical stuff.
246
00:08:47,532 --> 00:08:48,895
How's she doing?
247
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:51,801
Well, now they're saying she
needs a bone marrow transplant.
248
00:08:51,837 --> 00:08:52,902
Oh, my God.
249
00:08:52,938 --> 00:08:55,271
Turns out, I'm a match.
250
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,306
My luck.
251
00:08:57,755 --> 00:08:59,621
Oh. Wow.
252
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,810
Apparently,
253
00:09:00,846 --> 00:09:02,378
it can be very painful.
254
00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:03,780
Oh, poor thing.
255
00:09:03,815 --> 00:09:05,946
I'm talking about me.
256
00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:07,916
Oh.
257
00:09:07,952 --> 00:09:11,019
This is not what you want
from a second marriage.
258
00:09:13,056 --> 00:09:14,205
Why can't you?
259
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,519
We're a little busy helping
to destroy our current show.
260
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,426
And you're fucking miserable.
261
00:09:18,462 --> 00:09:20,669
- From the chef.
- Ah.
262
00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:24,231
Tuna tartare with
a light truffle sesame oil.
263
00:09:24,266 --> 00:09:25,700
Ooh.
264
00:09:25,735 --> 00:09:26,934
Mmm.
265
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:28,769
Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm.
266
00:09:28,805 --> 00:09:30,137
Gave me the squirts for a week.
267
00:09:30,172 --> 00:09:31,939
Why are we eating here?
268
00:09:31,975 --> 00:09:33,975
Come on. We got to do this.
269
00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:35,376
Yes, well, I'm not sure
the network will be
270
00:09:35,411 --> 00:09:36,711
very keen on us jumping ship.
271
00:09:36,746 --> 00:09:37,945
Don't worry about the network.
272
00:09:37,981 --> 00:09:39,779
They'll do anything to keep me happy.
273
00:09:39,815 --> 00:09:40,847
I can protect you.
274
00:09:40,883 --> 00:09:43,016
I'll be your 500-pound gorilla.
275
00:09:43,051 --> 00:09:44,250
That's what this smells like.
276
00:09:44,285 --> 00:09:46,085
Yeah, it's gross.
277
00:09:46,121 --> 00:09:47,153
Mmm!
278
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:55,738
Hello?
279
00:09:55,773 --> 00:09:58,163
You are gonna be so proud of me.
280
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,197
Am I?
281
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:00,733
I'm out!
282
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:01,867
No?
283
00:10:01,903 --> 00:10:03,084
Uh-huh.
284
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:05,771
It's like a scene from
Shawshank Redemption.
285
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:06,906
You should see me.
286
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:08,373
I'm on a street!
287
00:10:08,409 --> 00:10:09,508
Taking a walk!
288
00:10:09,544 --> 00:10:11,309
Good for you!
289
00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:13,244
I got a donut.
290
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,145
You did not?
291
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,146
And?
292
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,447
Donuts are expensive.
293
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:17,882
I know.
294
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,316
It's because they're so rare.
295
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,184
Mmm.
296
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:21,252
But it's good.
297
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,386
I'm glad I did it.
298
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:23,955
You should be.
299
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,189
It's a big step.
300
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,324
I may get a juice.
301
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,893
Well, don't go crazy.
302
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,326
Okay.
303
00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:31,548
I'm gonna let you go.
304
00:10:31,583 --> 00:10:33,797
You don't have to. I'm just walking.
305
00:10:33,832 --> 00:10:35,465
It's a figure of speech
when someone wants to hang up,
306
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:36,867
remember?
307
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:38,969
You used to use it on me all the time.
308
00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:40,236
March on.
309
00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:41,905
I am very proud of you.
310
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,173
Me too.
311
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:44,808
Thanks for pushing me.
312
00:10:44,843 --> 00:10:46,176
I needed the push.
313
00:10:46,211 --> 00:10:47,409
Enjoy your donut.
314
00:10:47,445 --> 00:10:49,555
Oh, I am.
315
00:11:23,112 --> 00:11:25,413
Buying a house
in Woodbridge, Connecticut,
316
00:11:25,448 --> 00:11:28,200
hasn't been easy
for newlyweds Bill and Fern.
317
00:11:29,228 --> 00:11:31,007
They can't agree on what they want.
318
00:11:31,966 --> 00:11:33,353
They're looking in the New Haven sub...
319
00:11:41,863 --> 00:11:42,862
Two balls and two strikes.
320
00:11:44,232 --> 00:11:45,498
And with the two
strikes, continues to...
321
00:11:47,869 --> 00:11:49,192
Hello?
322
00:11:49,938 --> 00:11:50,903
Sean?
323
00:11:50,939 --> 00:11:52,371
Who?
324
00:11:52,406 --> 00:11:53,696
What?
325
00:11:54,308 --> 00:11:56,108
Carol?
326
00:11:56,143 --> 00:11:57,375
Oh, shit.
327
00:11:57,410 --> 00:11:59,444
"Oh, shit" to you.
328
00:11:59,479 --> 00:12:02,814
I'm sor... I'm sorry.
329
00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:04,282
I just, uh,
330
00:12:04,317 --> 00:12:06,251
I-I was calling Beverly
331
00:12:06,286 --> 00:12:08,120
and I guess
332
00:12:08,155 --> 00:12:09,955
Lincoln is next to Lapidus.
333
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,036
That's okay.
334
00:12:11,071 --> 00:12:14,191
I'll take a butt-dial from you any day.
335
00:12:14,226 --> 00:12:16,260
Well, not exactly a butt-dial,
336
00:12:16,295 --> 00:12:18,095
but, uh, so,
337
00:12:18,131 --> 00:12:19,639
um,
338
00:12:20,849 --> 00:12:22,232
sorry to bother you.
339
00:12:22,268 --> 00:12:23,834
Take care.
340
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:25,069
Oh!
341
00:12:33,636 --> 00:12:34,469
Hello.
342
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,670
Are you okay?
343
00:12:35,705 --> 00:12:37,405
Yeah. I'm great.
344
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:38,506
Really?
345
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:40,441
Mm, mm-hmm, no, I'm...
346
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:43,644
...I don't know.
347
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,247
You want to grab a bite?
348
00:12:45,282 --> 00:12:46,446
Let me buy you dinner.
349
00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:47,982
Oh, God.
350
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,716
No. No, no.
351
00:12:49,752 --> 00:12:51,085
Ah, come on.
352
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,152
No.
353
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,175
Honest, uh-um...
354
00:12:56,592 --> 00:12:58,392
...if you saw me right now,
355
00:12:58,427 --> 00:13:00,427
you'd lose your appetite.
356
00:13:00,462 --> 00:13:02,129
I'm...
357
00:13:02,164 --> 00:13:04,197
...kind of a mess.
358
00:13:04,232 --> 00:13:05,431
Are you sure?
359
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:06,905
Yeah.
360
00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:08,897
Yeah, I'm really...
361
00:13:09,637 --> 00:13:12,105
I'm better off by myself right now.
362
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,339
Well,
363
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,653
tell your butt I'm here if it needs me.
364
00:13:16,144 --> 00:13:17,977
Mm-kay.
365
00:13:22,216 --> 00:13:25,350
So I understand from Mommy
366
00:13:25,386 --> 00:13:28,553
that you guys saw me
on the computer doing some
367
00:13:28,588 --> 00:13:30,877
pretty silly stuff.
368
00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:33,258
Now, I don't know why
we don't have some kind of
369
00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:34,592
parental control thing that would
370
00:13:34,628 --> 00:13:36,561
stop you from seeing stuff like that.
371
00:13:36,596 --> 00:13:37,628
Not the point.
372
00:13:37,663 --> 00:13:38,562
You want to do this?
373
00:13:38,597 --> 00:13:40,497
No, this is you.
374
00:13:40,533 --> 00:13:41,558
Do it. Just do it.
375
00:13:41,594 --> 00:13:42,900
I'm doing it.
376
00:13:45,038 --> 00:13:46,559
Anyway,
377
00:13:47,273 --> 00:13:49,706
you know how sometimes you guys do stuff
378
00:13:49,742 --> 00:13:52,509
you know you shouldn't do
but you do it anyway?
379
00:13:52,545 --> 00:13:53,983
Hm?
380
00:13:54,479 --> 00:13:57,013
Well, sometimes daddies do that too.
381
00:13:57,049 --> 00:13:59,983
I mean, it's a little different
'cause the stuff you do
382
00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:01,873
doesn't end up on Fox News,
383
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:03,954
'cause apparently Greta Van Susteren
384
00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:06,556
doesn't have enough real stuff
to fucking talk about.
385
00:14:09,874 --> 00:14:11,360
But the point is,
386
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:14,496
that doesn't make what Daddy did okay.
387
00:14:14,531 --> 00:14:16,923
And I feel bad.
388
00:14:17,468 --> 00:14:19,401
I feel bad that it happened,
389
00:14:19,437 --> 00:14:22,104
and I feel bad you had to see it.
390
00:14:22,139 --> 00:14:24,539
I'm sure it was
very, very weird for you,
391
00:14:24,575 --> 00:14:26,075
seeing that naked lady
392
00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:28,643
and Daddy's penis.
393
00:14:29,245 --> 00:14:31,145
So we don't need
to talk about Daddy's penis
394
00:14:31,181 --> 00:14:32,313
'cause the point is...
395
00:14:39,956 --> 00:14:42,699
...The point is, I made a mistake.
396
00:14:43,159 --> 00:14:45,492
A big mistake.
397
00:14:45,527 --> 00:14:47,160
But the good thing
398
00:14:47,196 --> 00:14:49,363
is that every time you make a mistake,
399
00:14:49,398 --> 00:14:52,032
you learn something. Hmm?
400
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,667
And what I learned,
and this is the one thing
401
00:14:54,703 --> 00:14:56,921
I want you to remember,
402
00:14:58,307 --> 00:15:00,073
whenever you're about to do something
403
00:15:00,109 --> 00:15:02,343
that you know is bad,
404
00:15:03,177 --> 00:15:07,413
always, always, always
405
00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:10,685
look for the camera.
406
00:15:12,186 --> 00:15:13,438
Hmm?
407
00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:15,221
So we're good?
408
00:15:17,325 --> 00:15:19,457
Okay. Good.
409
00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:28,033
Oh, no.
410
00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:29,234
- Oh, yeah.
- No.
411
00:15:29,269 --> 00:15:31,169
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, no, no.
412
00:15:31,204 --> 00:15:34,305
- You didn't have...
- I know.
413
00:15:34,341 --> 00:15:36,173
D'oh! Stop looking at me.
414
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:37,887
Why, you look great.
415
00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:39,642
Bullshit.
416
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,211
Well, you look comfortable.
417
00:15:42,548 --> 00:15:44,648
You really shouldn't have...
418
00:15:44,683 --> 00:15:45,831
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
419
00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:48,052
So I...
420
00:15:48,087 --> 00:15:51,188
...got the roast chicken that you like.
421
00:15:51,223 --> 00:15:53,423
I got some of those green beans
422
00:15:53,458 --> 00:15:55,427
and that potato thing,
423
00:15:55,463 --> 00:15:56,856
with...
424
00:15:57,529 --> 00:15:58,694
...sauce on the side.
425
00:15:58,729 --> 00:15:59,728
Aw.
426
00:15:59,764 --> 00:16:01,431
I got no fucking kale.
427
00:16:01,466 --> 00:16:04,467
I got the mac and cheese.
428
00:16:04,502 --> 00:16:06,369
Oh, with the truffles?
429
00:16:08,406 --> 00:16:09,939
But first,
430
00:16:09,974 --> 00:16:13,007
a little amuse-bouche.
431
00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:14,707
Oh, my God.
432
00:16:15,212 --> 00:16:17,165
Did you bring papers?
433
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,947
Did I bring papers?
434
00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:22,417
Oh, Jesus.
435
00:16:22,453 --> 00:16:24,186
When you said you were a mess, I...
436
00:16:24,221 --> 00:16:25,920
I am a mess.
437
00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:28,255
Aww, honey.
438
00:16:33,429 --> 00:16:36,163
Are you smelling my hair?
439
00:16:36,199 --> 00:16:38,523
Don't smell my hair.
440
00:16:39,368 --> 00:16:41,068
I'm trying not to.
441
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:43,270
Oh.
442
00:16:46,341 --> 00:16:49,175
So I get home last night
and kick off my shoes,
443
00:16:49,211 --> 00:16:51,978
and I start going into the kitchen.
444
00:16:52,013 --> 00:16:54,147
Then, I turn around...
445
00:16:54,182 --> 00:16:55,681
...and there's Mr. Swizzleboots,
446
00:16:55,717 --> 00:16:58,118
and he's got his head inside my shoe.
447
00:16:58,153 --> 00:16:59,586
And all you can see is his little bum,
448
00:16:59,621 --> 00:17:01,953
and his tail wagging like crazy.
449
00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:03,422
Look-look-look-look-look-look-
look-look-look-look-look-look.
450
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:04,809
Who's in that shoe?
451
00:17:04,844 --> 00:17:05,944
Aww.
452
00:17:05,979 --> 00:17:08,026
Who's in that shoe?
453
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,596
Who's in that shoe? Who's in that shoe?
454
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:13,117
Who's in that shoe?
455
00:17:13,152 --> 00:17:16,309
So apparently, there is
another level of hell.
456
00:17:16,345 --> 00:17:19,131
Never hated a cat more.
457
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,258
Who's in that shoe?
458
00:17:21,294 --> 00:17:23,508
Oh, you guys.
459
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,875
Is this because I made the banana bread?
460
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:29,247
Actually, it's for Sean and Beverly.
461
00:17:30,255 --> 00:17:31,421
Oh.
462
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,384
From Matt?
463
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:35,552
"Let me be your 500-pound gorilla."
464
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,673
Uh, whenever you're done
playing with your plush toy,
465
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,751
perhaps we could get back to work?
466
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:42,392
All right, where were we?
467
00:17:42,427 --> 00:17:44,422
Uh, I believe we were up to,
468
00:17:44,457 --> 00:17:46,296
"Who's in that shoe?"
469
00:17:49,431 --> 00:17:51,301
So good.
470
00:17:52,436 --> 00:17:54,098
Oh.
471
00:17:55,353 --> 00:17:56,684
I missed you.
472
00:17:58,209 --> 00:17:59,175
Oh!
473
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,576
And you.
474
00:18:00,611 --> 00:18:03,011
Hello, old friend.
475
00:18:06,771 --> 00:18:08,469
How great is this?
476
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,889
Pretty fucking great.
477
00:18:11,521 --> 00:18:13,159
Ahh.
478
00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:15,828
Mm.
479
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,926
You've got a hit show.
480
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,314
How the hell did that happen?
481
00:18:21,349 --> 00:18:22,467
I hate it.
482
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:23,560
You do not.
483
00:18:23,596 --> 00:18:24,632
I do.
484
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:27,172
They treat LeBlanc
like he's a fucking king.
485
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,952
Like he invented ratings.
486
00:18:28,987 --> 00:18:31,104
Me, I'm a punch line.
487
00:18:31,469 --> 00:18:33,039
I mean, Jesus Christ,
488
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:34,873
who brought them the show?
489
00:18:34,908 --> 00:18:37,808
You were there. It's such bullshit.
490
00:18:41,915 --> 00:18:42,941
Fuck you.
491
00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:44,648
No. Fuck you.
492
00:18:44,683 --> 00:18:46,517
I don't have a job.
493
00:18:46,552 --> 00:18:47,751
Mm.
494
00:18:47,786 --> 00:18:49,352
You should have a job.
495
00:18:49,388 --> 00:18:51,614
I should have a job.
496
00:18:52,324 --> 00:18:53,450
More?
497
00:18:53,486 --> 00:18:55,358
Ugh... yes.
498
00:18:56,662 --> 00:18:58,428
At least you're making money.
499
00:18:58,463 --> 00:19:00,663
It all goes to Jamie and the other two.
500
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,734
And all those fucking kids.
501
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,802
Said with love.
502
00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:07,923
Always.
503
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,372
How's your mother?
504
00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:12,875
Whoa.
505
00:19:12,911 --> 00:19:13,743
I was just wondering.
506
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,545
She's meaner.
507
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:17,246
Is that possible?
508
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,847
Oh, science wouldn't have thought so,
509
00:19:18,882 --> 00:19:20,882
but somehow she is.
510
00:19:20,918 --> 00:19:22,891
I think since my father died,
511
00:19:22,926 --> 00:19:24,218
she's doing the work of two.
512
00:19:29,492 --> 00:19:30,692
What?
513
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:32,260
I miss that face.
514
00:19:32,295 --> 00:19:34,728
Ah, I said don't look at me.
515
00:19:34,764 --> 00:19:36,463
Hey, you're not the boss of me.
516
00:19:36,498 --> 00:19:38,766
And you are not the boss of me.
517
00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:41,501
That's still weird.
518
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,406
I really fucked this up.
519
00:19:46,442 --> 00:19:47,908
Mm-hmm.
520
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,756
You were the best thing
that ever happened to me.
521
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:52,645
Damn right.
522
00:19:55,383 --> 00:19:57,850
Stop looking.
523
00:20:05,894 --> 00:20:08,360
Uh, it's Eileen.
524
00:20:08,396 --> 00:20:09,764
Uh, we'll be right there.
525
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,897
Make it quick.
Don't want to miss the fun.
526
00:20:11,932 --> 00:20:15,000
If Voldemort were a camp counselor.
527
00:20:15,035 --> 00:20:16,501
Hmm.
528
00:20:17,605 --> 00:20:18,470
Morning.
529
00:20:18,505 --> 00:20:19,370
Hi, guys.
530
00:20:19,406 --> 00:20:20,472
How's it going?
531
00:20:20,507 --> 00:20:21,607
- Horrible.
- Tortuous.
532
00:20:21,642 --> 00:20:23,575
Okay, so I just got a call
533
00:20:23,611 --> 00:20:26,010
from Roger Riskin, Matt LeBlanc's agent.
534
00:20:26,045 --> 00:20:28,746
He's saying Matt asked you
to write his next show?
535
00:20:28,781 --> 00:20:30,547
- Yeah, Matt's been after us.
- Right.
536
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:31,682
I didn't know what to say.
537
00:20:31,718 --> 00:20:33,584
Got to keep me in the loop.
538
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:34,952
Well, there really is no loop.
539
00:20:34,988 --> 00:20:36,253
We've decided to stick it out here.
540
00:20:36,288 --> 00:20:37,622
God knows why.
541
00:20:37,657 --> 00:20:39,456
We've got so much invested.
542
00:20:39,492 --> 00:20:41,153
I think that's very smart.
543
00:20:41,188 --> 00:20:42,993
The buzz on Opposite is super hot,
544
00:20:43,028 --> 00:20:45,028
and now with Anthony Powner Smith...
545
00:20:45,063 --> 00:20:46,562
- Say what?
- I'm sorry, what?
546
00:20:46,598 --> 00:20:47,430
What?
547
00:20:47,465 --> 00:20:49,023
Anthony Powner Smith?
548
00:20:50,468 --> 00:20:51,300
Right?
549
00:20:51,336 --> 00:20:52,468
Is what?
550
00:20:52,504 --> 00:20:53,970
In Opposite.
551
00:20:55,406 --> 00:20:57,208
- No, no, no.
- No, not likely.
552
00:20:57,541 --> 00:20:59,342
Okay.
553
00:20:59,377 --> 00:21:01,010
Unless he is.
554
00:21:01,045 --> 00:21:02,549
Eileen, where are you getting this?
555
00:21:02,584 --> 00:21:05,480
Look, I may be misinformed.
556
00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:08,751
Would it be from your other client, Tim?
557
00:21:09,253 --> 00:21:10,753
Maybe.
558
00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:13,255
So you're not misinformed?
559
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:14,589
No.
560
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:17,291
Well, at least you've kept us
in the loop.
561
00:21:17,326 --> 00:21:20,594
Uh, to that end, full disclosure,
562
00:21:20,630 --> 00:21:23,531
I may have signed him as well.
563
00:21:23,566 --> 00:21:24,465
Who?
564
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,615
Anthony Powner Smith?
565
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:26,901
I think so.
566
00:21:26,937 --> 00:21:28,569
What do you mean you think so?
567
00:21:28,604 --> 00:21:29,603
No, I did.
568
00:21:29,639 --> 00:21:32,306
And Tim cast him in our show,
569
00:21:32,341 --> 00:21:34,541
knowing full well how we feel?
570
00:21:34,576 --> 00:21:35,709
Is it a done deal?
571
00:21:35,744 --> 00:21:37,410
Uhh...
572
00:21:37,445 --> 00:21:39,479
I'm sure his agent
will be able to tell you.
573
00:21:39,514 --> 00:21:40,747
No, it's a done deal.
574
00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:42,415
Oh, brilliant.
575
00:21:42,450 --> 00:21:43,717
Okay, here's what I...
576
00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:46,687
Ah, just in time.
577
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,017
Get 'em while they're hot.
578
00:21:48,053 --> 00:21:49,422
What's this?
579
00:21:49,457 --> 00:21:51,023
It's Falafel Friday, didn't you know?
580
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:55,047
No, but clearly there's
so much we don't know.
581
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:57,897
Anthony Powner Smith.
582
00:21:58,124 --> 00:22:02,401
Anthony bloody-fucking Powner Smith.
583
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,969
All right, look,
584
00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:05,671
why don't we have this
conversation after the flan?
585
00:22:05,707 --> 00:22:07,439
Uh, don't think so
586
00:22:07,474 --> 00:22:10,392
because there's not gonna be
any "after the flan."
587
00:22:10,428 --> 00:22:11,928
We're done.
588
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,748
Oh-okay.
Let-let's just take a step back.
589
00:22:16,783 --> 00:22:19,317
Only if you're at the edge of a cliff.
590
00:22:19,352 --> 00:22:20,819
If I have to spend one more minute
591
00:22:20,854 --> 00:22:22,420
looking at your... your-your...
592
00:22:22,455 --> 00:22:23,788
- Smug.
- ...smug...
593
00:22:23,824 --> 00:22:25,255
- Self-satisfied.
- ...self-satisfied...
594
00:22:25,290 --> 00:22:26,423
- Weasel-faced.
595
00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:27,725
- I've got it.
- Oh-okay, okay.
596
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,893
You are nothing but
a humor-deficient poser,
597
00:22:29,929 --> 00:22:31,995
filling in the huge gaps in your talent
598
00:22:32,031 --> 00:22:33,797
with arrogance and crepes.
599
00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,036
Okay, let-let's not...
600
00:22:35,072 --> 00:22:38,258
You are a terrible writer.
601
00:22:38,293 --> 00:22:41,606
Your every instinct is dead wrong.
602
00:22:41,641 --> 00:22:44,273
You're about as funny as... as...
603
00:22:44,308 --> 00:22:48,244
a tumor in a silly hat.
604
00:22:48,279 --> 00:22:50,412
I'm sorry, I don't normally
believe in public shaming,
605
00:22:50,448 --> 00:22:51,580
but what the hell?
606
00:22:51,616 --> 00:22:53,564
It's Falafel Friday!
607
00:22:54,984 --> 00:22:56,203
What are you doing?
608
00:22:56,239 --> 00:22:57,522
Oh, shit, shouldn't. I...
609
00:22:57,558 --> 00:22:58,983
I don't know what he's talking...
610
00:22:59,018 --> 00:23:00,488
Oh, great, right.
611
00:23:00,523 --> 00:23:01,857
Now he's doing that thing
where he pretends
612
00:23:01,892 --> 00:23:03,458
he's lost interest in the conversation.
613
00:23:03,493 --> 00:23:04,793
Well, it didn't work at university
614
00:23:04,828 --> 00:23:06,716
and it's not going to fly today.
615
00:23:06,751 --> 00:23:07,728
Hello!
616
00:23:07,764 --> 00:23:09,297
Oh, bollocks!
617
00:23:09,332 --> 00:23:10,431
You know, I've never enjoyed
your cooking more.
618
00:23:10,467 --> 00:23:11,800
- Hey!
- What?
619
00:23:11,835 --> 00:23:13,534
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry.
620
00:23:13,570 --> 00:23:15,503
That's okay. They're really light.
621
00:23:15,538 --> 00:23:16,670
That's the egg whites.
622
00:23:16,705 --> 00:23:18,538
All right, so, there we are.
623
00:23:18,574 --> 00:23:21,951
To the rest of you, I am
so sorry we're abandoning you.
624
00:23:21,987 --> 00:23:24,245
Nobody deserves this walking nightmare,
625
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,172
except obviously Amanda.
626
00:23:26,207 --> 00:23:27,614
Giving up gluten
627
00:23:27,650 --> 00:23:30,157
is not like you've discovered
a new vaccine
628
00:23:30,193 --> 00:23:31,758
or a new planet.
629
00:23:31,793 --> 00:23:34,788
It's just fucking wheat.
630
00:23:35,187 --> 00:23:37,125
Calm down.
631
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:38,184
Getting off point.
632
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:39,286
Right.
633
00:23:39,322 --> 00:23:42,046
You know, it breaks my heart
to walk out of here,
634
00:23:42,081 --> 00:23:45,932
because I know this could
have been a really great show.
635
00:23:46,367 --> 00:23:48,467
But I just can't bear
standing by and watching you
636
00:23:48,503 --> 00:23:51,872
ruin it bit by bit.
637
00:23:53,123 --> 00:23:55,573
By the way, Anthony Powner Smith?
638
00:23:56,043 --> 00:23:59,511
We've already built the fucking set.
639
00:23:59,546 --> 00:24:03,008
It's all stairs!
640
00:24:04,384 --> 00:24:05,317
Oh, right.
641
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:09,466
Hang on.
642
00:24:14,861 --> 00:24:17,022
Good luck getting your Tupperware back.
643
00:24:17,964 --> 00:24:19,681
You don't even like falafel.
644
00:24:19,717 --> 00:24:21,268
I know, but these are really good.
645
00:24:25,135 --> 00:24:26,768
Have you seen my other sock?
646
00:24:26,801 --> 00:24:27,933
Which one?
647
00:24:27,968 --> 00:24:29,202
The right or the left?
648
00:24:29,237 --> 00:24:32,955
Well, very, very similar to this one.
649
00:24:33,374 --> 00:24:34,640
Have not seen it.
650
00:24:39,214 --> 00:24:40,921
You want some?
651
00:24:41,682 --> 00:24:43,147
Ahh.
652
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:47,151
So are you gonna be weird
653
00:24:47,187 --> 00:24:48,307
about last night?
654
00:24:48,343 --> 00:24:50,054
Oh, probably.
655
00:24:51,336 --> 00:24:52,324
You're not?
656
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,926
Nope. It was perfect.
657
00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:56,695
It was delicious.
658
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,230
It was us.
659
00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:00,774
I know.
660
00:25:01,601 --> 00:25:02,558
But...
661
00:25:02,594 --> 00:25:03,701
No-no-no-no-no-no-no.
662
00:25:03,736 --> 00:25:05,769
Shh. Uh-uh, no buts.
663
00:25:05,804 --> 00:25:08,616
I can't do this again.
664
00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:12,209
There's just too much history.
665
00:25:12,245 --> 00:25:15,645
Ehh, like old history,
like ancient history,
666
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,780
like there's togas.
667
00:25:17,815 --> 00:25:20,127
We are in a different place now.
668
00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,801
Hello.
669
00:25:30,762 --> 00:25:31,927
I just think right now...
670
00:25:31,963 --> 00:25:33,962
Okay-okay, no-no-no-no. Got it. Got it.
671
00:25:33,997 --> 00:25:35,964
I hear you.
672
00:25:35,999 --> 00:25:37,866
Not pushing.
673
00:25:37,901 --> 00:25:39,647
Let me just say this.
674
00:25:40,638 --> 00:25:44,005
You know what I was gonna do last night?
675
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,641
Eat a Lean Cuisine,
676
00:25:45,676 --> 00:25:48,009
and watch, like,
three reruns of Shark Tank,
677
00:25:48,044 --> 00:25:50,745
take an Ambien, and pass out.
678
00:25:50,780 --> 00:25:52,534
And then the phone rang...
679
00:25:53,015 --> 00:25:55,913
...like a fucking miracle.
680
00:25:56,319 --> 00:25:58,586
When I heard your voice,
681
00:25:58,621 --> 00:26:02,142
and you know I don't believe
in any of that fate crap,
682
00:26:02,177 --> 00:26:04,091
but come on.
683
00:26:04,126 --> 00:26:05,493
I'm just saying.
684
00:26:10,632 --> 00:26:14,133
But we'll take it slow.
685
00:26:14,169 --> 00:26:15,975
Okay?
686
00:26:17,105 --> 00:26:18,805
I will take it
687
00:26:19,061 --> 00:26:21,908
any way you want
688
00:26:21,943 --> 00:26:23,176
to give it to me.
689
00:26:28,048 --> 00:26:29,315
So let's get right to it and see what
690
00:26:29,350 --> 00:26:31,149
our box-mates are up to.
691
00:26:32,886 --> 00:26:33,978
Hey, Rafe.
692
00:26:34,013 --> 00:26:35,253
Losing your mind?
693
00:26:35,577 --> 00:26:39,057
I'd rather lose my mime.
694
00:26:40,627 --> 00:26:42,794
Well, at least it's quiet.
Right, Jessica?
695
00:26:42,829 --> 00:26:44,696
Quiet would be nice.
696
00:26:46,366 --> 00:26:48,666
So Rafe, any regrets
about spending all your points
697
00:26:48,702 --> 00:26:49,967
- ...to put Danika...
- Hey.
698
00:26:50,002 --> 00:26:51,703
- ...in that sumo suit?
- Hey.
699
00:26:51,738 --> 00:26:53,705
I tried calling last night.
You didn't pick up.
700
00:26:53,740 --> 00:26:55,374
Something was messed up with my phone.
701
00:26:55,410 --> 00:26:56,974
- Oh.
- I was on with the IT guy
702
00:26:57,009 --> 00:26:58,608
- ...for an hour.
- Ugh.
703
00:26:58,644 --> 00:27:00,977
Three scariest words
in the English language:
704
00:27:01,012 --> 00:27:02,111
"Go to settings."
705
00:27:02,147 --> 00:27:04,113
Well, I missed you.
706
00:27:04,149 --> 00:27:07,250
Marcel Marceau quiet
you'll want to kill yourself.
707
00:27:07,285 --> 00:27:11,087
Up next, there may be a llama
in Jonathan's future.
708
00:27:13,024 --> 00:27:14,890
We'll find out right after this.
709
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:21,296
And we're out!
710
00:27:21,332 --> 00:27:24,099
Two minutes, everybody! Two minutes!
711
00:27:24,134 --> 00:27:25,795
Hey, what are you doing here?
712
00:27:25,831 --> 00:27:27,670
Want to do a show?
713
00:27:27,705 --> 00:27:28,537
Seriously?
714
00:27:28,573 --> 00:27:29,572
Sign us up.
715
00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:31,508
Woo-hoo!
716
00:27:31,941 --> 00:27:34,970
All right, but this is the last time.
717
00:27:35,945 --> 00:27:37,545
Ahh!
718
00:27:37,581 --> 00:27:38,913
When can we start?
I got a really good idea.
719
00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:39,848
Really?
720
00:27:39,883 --> 00:27:41,082
Yeah, I'm this guy
721
00:27:41,117 --> 00:27:42,216
who gets killed in a car accident,
722
00:27:42,252 --> 00:27:44,786
and I come back as a dog.
723
00:27:44,821 --> 00:27:46,654
Huh? And my wife adopts me
724
00:27:46,690 --> 00:27:48,289
because she senses this connection.
725
00:27:48,324 --> 00:27:50,724
And I'm living with her
and her new husband.
726
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,517
Okay, now, the audience
727
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:53,885
sees me as me.
728
00:27:53,910 --> 00:27:56,296
But everyone on the show
sees me as a dog.
729
00:27:56,331 --> 00:27:58,298
And I have to, like...
730
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,233
...crap outside and,
731
00:28:00,269 --> 00:28:02,202
and other dogs are humping me.
732
00:28:02,237 --> 00:28:04,037
Huh?
733
00:28:04,072 --> 00:28:06,606
- Let-let's-let's, let's, uh...
- That could be fun.
734
00:28:06,641 --> 00:28:07,673
- ...think about it, maybe.
- It certainly...
735
00:28:07,709 --> 00:28:08,541
Matt, we're back.
736
00:28:08,576 --> 00:28:09,642
Okay.
737
00:28:09,677 --> 00:28:11,210
This is gonna be great.
738
00:28:12,547 --> 00:28:14,280
No, no... no, ah.
739
00:28:14,635 --> 00:28:16,816
Dear God, what have we done?
740
00:28:43,479 --> 00:28:45,405
- Hey! Hey!
- What's that one doing here?
741
00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:47,019
- I'm just picking up my man.
- Merc?
742
00:28:47,044 --> 00:28:50,535
- Yeah, in fact...
- ... what's this?
743
00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:53,351
Poor Carol. I even feel bad for Morning.
744
00:28:53,376 --> 00:28:54,526
Are those new tits?
745
00:28:54,551 --> 00:28:55,950
I know. Hello.
746
00:28:56,053 --> 00:28:58,563
I'm trapped in a car with two
boobs talking about tits.
747
00:28:58,588 --> 00:29:01,500
Okay, do you have any sense of
the kind of show you want to do?
748
00:29:01,525 --> 00:29:03,554
Something smart, sophisticated.
749
00:29:03,583 --> 00:29:06,108
What if I'm a pimp? Oh, I got a title!
750
00:29:06,210 --> 00:29:09,306
Whores. That is sophisticated.
751
00:29:11,735 --> 00:29:19,446
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
47814
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
