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♪♪
2
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:18,828
♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪
3
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:24,534
♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪
4
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,036
♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪
5
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,839
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
6
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:35,078
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
7
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:43,102
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
8
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:52,362
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
9
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:57,567
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
10
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,390
♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪
11
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,862
"And then Mr. Reagan said...
12
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,247
"" Oh, look, Mommy,
13
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,706
"" it's Secretary of State...
14
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:20,089
it's Secretary of State
George Schultz. ""
15
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:22,992
Boy, Andrew, this I Love
Republicans pop-up book
16
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,695
was the best
purchase I ever made.
17
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,398
Make Nancy wave again.
18
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,254
"Hi."
19
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,337
Thanks for carrying
my books home, Simon.
20
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,906
I'd carry these books
to the ends of the earth
21
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,107
for you, my dearest.
22
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:40,100
The counter will be fine.
23
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,926
Jennifer, I've been...
24
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,149
Who's the guy?
25
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,217
That's my brother.
26
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,552
Hi.
27
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:51,670
Don't encourage him, Alex.
28
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:56,693
Simon, it was really nice of you
to carry my books home and all,
29
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,095
but I really think you
should be going now.
30
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,630
Jennifer, I've been
in love with you
31
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,899
ever since I spotted you
across the crowded auditorium
32
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,835
during that school
bus safety assembly.
33
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,738
Yes, that was a powerful moment.
34
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,440
Tell me you love me.
35
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,743
Yuck! I can't take this.
36
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,612
We can't keep
going on like this.
37
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,547
I mean, you're just not my type.
38
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:21,099
It's because I'm
a nerd, isn't it?
39
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,721
Yes.
40
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:28,257
Maybe this would
change your mind.
41
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:31,127
Diamonds.
42
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,120
Go For it. Go for it.
43
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,567
Simon, you shouldn't
have done that.
44
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:41,404
No, no, it's okay, my
mother won't miss them.
45
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:44,974
Simon, I'm not going to
accept your mother's earrings!
46
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,543
How about her brooch.
47
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,695
Simon, forget it!
48
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,483
Will you go with me to
the sophomore dance?
49
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,518
Simon, I said no, all right?
50
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,020
I-I'm not leaving until you
51
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,022
- give me at least a maybe.
- Okay, maybe.
52
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:00,590
- Really?
- No!
53
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,759
Please, please, please?
54
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,513
Don't make me beg.
55
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,264
All right... maybe.
56
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:11,781
Boy, Simon, this is about
as much fun as a bloodletting.
57
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,261
I am one step
closer to paradise.
58
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,355
Until later, my love.
59
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,548
Geez, Jen, you know,
you really shouldn't
60
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,250
lead the guy on like that.
61
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,584
Come on, give him a break,
62
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,687
will you? Go to
the dance with him.
63
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,221
Alex, he's a nerd.
64
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,079
It's true... but he's
a nerd bearing gifts.
65
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:39,495
Who's that guy I saw
skipping across the front lawn?
66
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:40,863
Oh, that was Simon.
67
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,265
A young gentleman suitor
68
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,767
that I think Jennifer should
consider going out with.
69
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,170
Alex, he's a nerd.
70
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,906
He gave her diamond earrings.
71
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:53,376
He did have a certain charm.
72
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,078
I don't need this
kind of pressure.
73
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:58,081
I mean, being in high school
by itself is hard enough.
74
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,083
Oh, stop!
75
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,984
What is so hard
about high school?
76
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,821
High school wasn't
that hard for me.
77
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,838
Yeah, but she actually
goes into the classroom.
78
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,495
I can't believe the social
pressures in high school.
79
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,098
I mean, it's not enough
just to be smart anymore.
80
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:17,433
Now you have to worry
about what you wear,
81
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:19,902
who you hang out
with, who you date.
82
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,038
That's what I loved
about high school...
83
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:25,742
Your outward
appearance is everything.
84
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,777
Boy, oh, boy, the streets
are getting dangerous.
85
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,779
We almost got
plowed down by this kid
86
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,749
skipping down the
middle of the street.
87
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,050
Oh, that's Simon.
88
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,718
Yeah, it's Jennifer's
new boyfriend.
89
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,787
- Oh!
- He is not my boyfriend.
90
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,255
I don't even like him.
91
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,125
He likes Jen. He offered
her diamond earrings.
92
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:46,696
Boy, things have sure changed
since I was in high school.
93
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,433
Actually, there is this boy
I kind of like in high school.
94
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,635
His name is Roger,
he's a sophomore,
95
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:54,871
and a total, unmitigated hunk.
96
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,673
Really? Have you
talked with him?
97
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,030
Actually, he talked to me.
98
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:04,714
He's gonna be at the
sophomore dance on Friday night.
99
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:05,748
Are you gonna go?
100
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:07,583
I can't. I'm not a sophomore.
101
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,319
I'll probably have to go to
the dumb freshman dance.
102
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:11,420
What's wrong with that?
103
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,523
You are a freshman, aren't you?
104
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:16,058
Dad, you can't go to
your own class dance.
105
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,660
That's so embarrassing.
106
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,396
Oh, of... course, I forgot.
107
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,298
Why not?
108
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,300
Because it's just
not done, that's all.
109
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,435
I mean, girls have to
aspire to something bigger
110
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,737
than their own class dance.
111
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,539
The freshman girls go
to the sophomore dance,
112
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,140
the sophomores go
to the junior dance,
113
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,742
the juniors go to
the senior dance,
114
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:36,328
and the seniors, well, they
hang out at the Jack in the Box.
115
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,352
- Hi, Jen.
- Hi.
116
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,154
What's the matter?
You look kind of down.
117
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,224
Mallory, the sophomore
dance is only two days away,
118
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,526
and no one's asked me to go yet.
119
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:51,627
I've got to go.
120
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:53,429
I just have to.
121
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,445
Roger's gonna be there.
122
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,668
He smiled near me today.
123
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,670
How close?
124
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,272
Eight lockers away.
125
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:06,042
That's meaningful.
126
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,578
There's nothing like
a smile from a hunk.
127
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:09,979
I know. It's even better than
128
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,380
when you walk
into your classroom
129
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,134
and you see a movie
projector set up.
130
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,668
Yeah. Right.
131
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,923
I've got to go, Mal.
132
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,759
Well, look, you could crash it.
133
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,962
I'd be too scared to.
134
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,663
You could go with Simon.
135
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:30,299
Yeah, but then I'd have to
ditch him right when I got there.
136
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,902
- I just couldn't do that.
- Yeah, I guess not.
137
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,904
What? What? Couldn't do what?
138
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,839
This is not your area, Alex.
139
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:40,243
Hey, how do you know?
140
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:43,112
Because it involves
feelings, thought and emotions
141
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:46,249
of a nonmonetary nature.
142
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,572
Yeah, you're right.
143
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,855
Jen, I know how important
this is to you, right?
144
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:55,491
So I'm gonna go
upstairs, put my mind to it,
145
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,508
and I won't come back
until I have an answer.
146
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:04,182
We're never gonna see her again.
147
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,372
What's the problem?
148
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,807
Don't tell me... Teen
problems, right?
149
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,343
You need braces.
150
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,912
Not exactly.
151
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:19,649
You, uh... want a
phone in your room.
152
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,284
No.
153
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,186
Need your ears pierced?
154
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,788
No.
155
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,691
Well, you haven't got
any teen problems.
156
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,727
Alex, there's this
guy at school... Roger.
157
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,696
Whenever I see
him in the hallway,
158
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,799
I get this kind of light
feeling in my stomach.
159
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,634
Do you ever get that way?
160
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:42,705
It's kind of an excitement
bordering on nausea?
161
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,006
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
162
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,228
Whenever I hear
the words "tax-free."
163
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,782
I don't know what happens to me.
164
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,817
I-I get so... I get nervous,
165
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,185
I freeze up.
166
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,653
I can't even speak.
167
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,089
I know the feeling,
I'm telling you.
168
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:04,050
If Roger were tax-free,
we'd both be deeply in love.
169
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,496
But Roger doesn't
even know I'm alive.
170
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,098
Meanwhile, Simon
won't stop bugging me
171
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,067
to go to the dance with him.
172
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,402
Oh, hey, I like that Simon.
173
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,105
I'm telling you, he compensates
for his complete lack
174
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,674
of coordination,
poise and social grace
175
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,710
with expensive gifts.
176
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,412
Got to love the guy.
177
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,382
Alex, do you think it's
okay to manipulate...
178
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,752
Absolutely.
179
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,822
I didn't finish my question yet.
180
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,156
Jen, it doesn't matter.
181
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,791
As a general rule,
182
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:38,928
manipulation is
a great way to go.
183
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:42,164
But what if it might
hurt a person?
184
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,500
If you do it right,
nobody gets hurt.
185
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,602
All right, I'll give you
an example, okay?
186
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,704
Santa Claus.
187
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,207
Right? Nice guy, right?
188
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,610
He's cute, yeah.
189
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,779
Now, there he is
every Christmas,
190
00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,614
whipping toys down chimneys...
191
00:08:58,638 --> 00:08:59,915
Every kid's dream.
192
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,650
Now, he thinks he's doing it
193
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,919
to make all the little
boys and girls happy.
194
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,788
What he doesn't realize...
195
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:10,426
is that he's just a sales rep...
196
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,442
for Mattel.
197
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,466
What are you
talking about, Alex?
198
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,001
He's a pawn!
199
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,704
He's a pawn for the
big toy conglomerates.
200
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:26,042
He's a big, chubby,
ruddy-faced pawn.
201
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,877
I don't get it.
202
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,413
Jen, Santa is being
completely manipulated
203
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,114
by the toy companies.
204
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:35,117
But-but-but he's, you know,
flying around with his reindeer,
205
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,119
he's chuggin' eggnog,
206
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:40,990
he's having the
yuletide time of his life.
207
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:45,361
There's only one small
flaw in your theory, Alex.
208
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:48,197
Yeah? What's that, Jen?
209
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,800
Santa Claus doesn't exist.
210
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,927
What are you talking about?
211
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,768
Santa Claus... he doesn't exist.
212
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:21,144
You know, I hate
when people say that.
213
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,206
I'm sorry, Alex. I
thought you knew.
214
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,508
That's all right,
that's all right.
215
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,878
I try to give a little pep
talk in favor of manipulation,
216
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,881
and I get my feelings crushed.
217
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:41,670
It'll work, Jen,
okay? Just trust me.
218
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,098
Hello. Simon.
219
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,867
This is Jennifer.
220
00:10:57,891 --> 00:11:01,070
Okay, I'll go to
the dance with you.
221
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,672
Hello, Simon?
222
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,688
Are you okay?
223
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,445
Hey, honey, what do you have?
224
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,013
Oh, nothing much. Just a dress.
225
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:12,615
I borrowed it from
my friend Jane.
226
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,984
Jennifer, let me see this.
227
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,986
Jennifer, this is
not just a dress,
228
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,854
this is a Jocometti original
229
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:20,856
in an iridescent
emerald green cloqué
230
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,078
from the Rive Gauche
Resort Collection, circa 1984.
231
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:30,199
Mal, how is it humanly possible
232
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,468
for you to have all
that in your head
233
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,757
and nothing else?
234
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:41,677
Jennifer, what is this for?
235
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,513
Nothing much... this, that;
I'll wear it around the house,
236
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,682
maybe to the sophomore dance.
237
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,150
Oh, you're going!
238
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,853
That's great. Who's
the lucky boy?
239
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,422
Oh, um... no one you know.
240
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,125
Uh, what's his name?
241
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,294
Anthony Quinn.
242
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,362
Yeah.
243
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,365
Zorba?
244
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,135
Isn't he a little old for you?
245
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,770
All right, it's Simon.
246
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,539
Si... well, I-I thought
you didn't like Simon.
247
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,007
I kind of don't.
248
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,009
Then why are you going with him?
249
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,978
Because Alex told me to.
250
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,213
Oh...
251
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,914
Now, wait a minute
Wait a minute.
252
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,249
Don't blame me.
253
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,885
I'd rather you'd go for Zorba.
254
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,353
All right! I'm going with Simon
255
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,622
because I want to go
to the sophomore dance,
256
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,824
and that's the only
way I can get in.
257
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,126
Besides, once I'm there,
anything can happen.
258
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,862
I might bump into Roger.
259
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,731
Oh, Jen, I'm-I'm
really surprised at you!
260
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,900
I mean, you-you must
realize what you're doing.
261
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,402
You're just using
Simon to get to Roger.
262
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,339
Look, this isn't as
one-sided as it seems.
263
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,841
If I go out with
Simon, he'll be happy.
264
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,409
He'll stop bugging me,
265
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,645
calling me all the
time, coming over.
266
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,214
Besides, it's not
that big of a deal.
267
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,316
Simon doesn't care about
me that much anyway.
268
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,899
It's just...
269
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,936
Oh, no?
270
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,994
Simon! What are you doing?
271
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,996
Oh, I just wanted to say that...
272
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,012
Who's the guy?
273
00:13:12,892 --> 00:13:14,536
That's my father.
274
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,372
- How do you do, Mr. Keaton?
- Fine.
275
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:17,806
It is such a thrill.
276
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,128
Mm-hmm.
277
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,577
What, um...?
278
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,178
Oh... don't worry
about that, sir.
279
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,247
It's not what it looks like.
280
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:26,815
I mean, it is a cake.
281
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:28,717
It's all they had
left at the bakery.
282
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,120
That's a relief.
283
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,757
I always believed that I would
meet a girl like you one day.
284
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,992
A girl who saw past
what everyone else saw
285
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,627
and really liked me.
286
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,129
Really liked the me in me.
287
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,564
Congratulations on
being that girl, Jennifer.
288
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,199
- But Simon, I...
- Shh.
289
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:45,501
Not another word, my sweet.
290
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,036
I just want you to know
291
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,004
that if I die at
this very moment,
292
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:50,439
I will die happy.
293
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,455
Oh!
294
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,350
You still happy?
295
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:04,173
A little dizzy, but still happy.
296
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:12,995
All right, Andrew, you're really
coming along with your reading.
297
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,229
Very proud of you.
298
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:17,099
Thanks. I owe it all to you.
299
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:19,401
Well, let's not get mushy.
300
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:23,272
Okay. What is this
word right here?
301
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,288
- "Impeach."
- Good.
302
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,445
Isn't that sweet?
303
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,447
It really is.
304
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,682
You know, sometimes I
think we're too harsh on Alex.
305
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,252
He-he's not just a callous,
arch-conservative Republican.
306
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:38,654
You know, sometimes,
307
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,924
he can be a-a warm,
loving son and brother.
308
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:44,126
Okay, now read this
one with me, okay?
309
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:49,350
"I... am... not... a... crook."
310
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,670
Hey! Hey! Hey! What...?
311
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,839
Whatever happened
to books like, uh,
312
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,541
The Little Engine that
Could, or The Cat in the Hat,
313
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,276
or The Grinch that
Stole Christmas? This...
314
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,213
Come on, Dad,
this is real reading!
315
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,949
Besides, those other
books... They scare kids.
316
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,017
Give 'em nightmares.
317
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,153
I mean, what's
scarier... The Grinch,
318
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:16,024
or, uh, or-or a little
pop-up Richard Nixon?
319
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,560
It's hard to say. They
look so much alike.
320
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,878
I'll get it.
321
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:24,199
Hi, Simon.
322
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:25,667
Hi.
323
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:28,637
Oh, my, my!
324
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,939
Aren't you... aren't you dapper?
325
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,307
Yeah. It's a rental.
326
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,209
Oh.
327
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,511
Ajax Rent-A-Tux.
328
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,079
Yeah. How'd you know?
329
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,847
Well, you've got the
bill pinned to your back.
330
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,682
Yeah.
331
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:44,820
So-so, you... you've also
rented shoes, socks and glasses.
332
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:47,489
Oh, nothing's too good for
your little girl, Mrs. Keaton.
333
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,607
- Oh, hey, follow me.
- Yeah.
334
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,227
What?
335
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:55,197
I want everyone to see my
latest gift to my beloved Jennifer.
336
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,232
- Look up there.
- What? -What is it?
337
00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:00,335
It's a love message
in skywriting.
338
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:03,272
"Happy... birthday...
339
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,288
Juanita."
340
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,410
- I got a deal.
- That's nice.
341
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:09,611
It's lovely.
342
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:13,081
It's muy bueno. Muy bueno.
343
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:16,151
You know, Simon,
I like your style.
344
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,187
You're really starting
to grow on me.
345
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,203
And I'm really worried about it.
346
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,459
Ah.
347
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,794
Jennifer's wearing
a Jocometti original
348
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,063
in an iridescent
emerald green cloqué
349
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,465
from the Rive Gauche
Resort Collection,
350
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,167
circa 1984, borrowed from Jane.
351
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:34,183
Yeah...
352
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,775
Well, Simon, what do you think?
353
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,995
There. That's better.
354
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,180
Whoa! Look out! I'll catch...
355
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:47,850
- Simon.
- Come on, buddy. -Come on.
356
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,524
Do you want to dance?
357
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,927
No. Why would I want to dance?
358
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,462
I don't know.
359
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,831
I mean, it is called
the sophomore dance,
360
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,415
not the sophomore stand-around.
361
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:12,407
- Oh, hi, Jen.
- Hi, Nancy.
362
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,776
Jen, this is Brad
Hallahan, my date.
363
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,645
- Hi, Brad. Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
364
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,747
This is Simon.
What's your last name?
365
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,183
Wickerson. Simon Wickerson.
366
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:22,451
Simon Wickerson?
367
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,152
Don't I know you...?
368
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,168
Didn't I beat you up last week?
369
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,758
I don't think so.
370
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,274
But I could pencil you in for
next Wednesday, if you like.
371
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,163
Now, are you sure?
372
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:36,865
I'd never forget
a face like that.
373
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,134
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
374
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:41,036
It's all right. If you're sure.
375
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,539
Yeah, well, see you
later, Jen, Simon.
376
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:44,840
Bye.
377
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:48,528
So, then, we're on for
next Wednesday, right?
378
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,048
It's him! It's him!
379
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,267
Who him?
380
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,620
- Let's dance.
- But you just said...
381
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,675
Hey! Hey!
382
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:15,327
Yeah!
383
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,707
Hi! Hi.
384
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,909
Do I know you?
385
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,492
I've seen you around.
386
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,028
Hey, who's your date?
387
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,886
No one. Uh, he must have
stepped out for a minute.
388
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,220
I...
389
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:33,622
I'll introduce you
when he comes back.
390
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:34,823
Jennifer.
391
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:38,093
This is your date?
392
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,677
Hey, didn't I beat
you up last week?
393
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,399
Yeah, you did,
as a matter of fact.
394
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:46,301
Yeah, yeah, I really enjoyed it.
395
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,503
Are you free on Wednesday?
396
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,472
No, no, I'm all booked
up on Wednesday.
397
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:53,261
Oh, but perhaps I could
fit you in after the holidays.
398
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,079
He's not really my date.
399
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,981
I mean, I'm... available,
400
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,849
if you'd like to
dance or something.
401
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,206
What makes you think
I'd want to dance with you?
402
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,054
Come on, Roger.
What are you doing
403
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:07,222
hanging around these dorks?
404
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,724
Dorks? Hey, wait a minute.
405
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,526
There's only one
dork here. That's me.
406
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,995
This is Jennifer Keaton.
407
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,386
She is once, twice,
three times a lady.
408
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,289
Wait a minute... Didn't I
beat you up last week?
409
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,107
You did, as a matter of fact.
410
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:28,260
You know, you two could get
the group rate if you wanted.
411
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,398
Come on, Roger, let's dance.
412
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,852
I don't get it, Jennifer.
Why did you say that?
413
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,087
Why did you say I
wasn't your date?
414
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,922
Simon, I only came here with you
415
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,425
so I could get into
the sophomore dance.
416
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,230
You mean, you-you just used
me for my s-sophomoreness?
417
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:50,832
I thought you were different
than all the others, Jennifer.
418
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,134
I thought you were smarter.
419
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,402
Well, you're not.
420
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:56,726
Boy, will you be sorry
when I grow into my looks.
421
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,044
Okay, big fella,
time to go to sleep.
422
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,945
I don't want to go to sleep.
423
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,314
Well, everybody in the
White House is going to sleep.
424
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:08,784
Oh, no, they're not.
425
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,787
Oh, no? Listen to this.
426
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:15,657
Well, Nancy...
427
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,160
I'm really sleepy
after a long day
428
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:21,416
of punishing naughty Democrats.
429
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,900
Good night, Nancy.
430
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,335
Good night, Admiral Poindexter.
431
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,938
Good night, Ollie.
432
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:33,364
And so ends another night of
Toddler Republican Theater.
433
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,779
It's way past your
bedtime, Andy.
434
00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,381
- It's awfully late.
- Yeah.
435
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,016
I know.
436
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,319
I stayed awake longer
than President Reagan.
437
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:47,336
Well, that's no
great feat, uh, Andy.
438
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,960
Come on, Andy.
439
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,362
I'll take you upstairs and
read you something normal.
440
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,098
I've got just the thing.
441
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,133
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
You're not reading to him
442
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,183
from the Bloomingdale's
catalog again.
443
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:03,405
If anybody wants
me, I'll be upstairs
444
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,540
trying to piece together
the shattered fragments
445
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:08,543
of my tragic high
school existence.
446
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,212
What happened?
447
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:12,380
It was a complete disaster, Dad.
448
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:15,150
Simon found out that
I only went with him
449
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,953
to the sophomore dance
to meet up with Roger.
450
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:22,524
And to top that off,
Roger was horrible to me.
451
00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:25,494
He was mean. He was rude.
452
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,028
He treated me like...
453
00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:29,783
Like, uh... like
you treated Simon.
454
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:32,834
I hate to say this
when you're...
455
00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,035
when you're already
hurting, honey,
456
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:35,904
but what you did wasn't right.
457
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,539
I-I... I think you know that.
458
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:41,409
I don't know what happened.
459
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:45,213
Somehow, Simon's feelings
didn't seem important.
460
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:49,451
It was almost like I didn't
think he had feelings.
461
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,919
He really cares
about you, honey.
462
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,054
I know.
463
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:54,990
I don't know how
I didn't see that.
464
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:58,226
It was hard to miss.
465
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,810
The skywriting
was a sure tip-off.
466
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:04,766
I feel so terrible.
467
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:09,337
I mean, even after I was mean
to Simon, he stood up for me.
468
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:12,741
I don't think I can ever
look him in the eye again.
469
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:15,143
Did you at least have a
chance to apologize to him?
470
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,445
I tried, but he ran off so
fast, I couldn't catch him.
471
00:22:18,637 --> 00:22:21,316
Oh, well, honey,
now is your chance.
472
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,386
If you want to talk later,
we'll be upstairs, huh?
473
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:26,106
Yeah.
474
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,327
Hi, Jen.
475
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,728
Hi, Simon. Come on in.
476
00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:35,230
I don't have long.
477
00:22:35,254 --> 00:22:37,766
The tux has to be
back by midnight.
478
00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:42,037
It's only rented
for three hours.
479
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:44,172
I looked all over for you.
480
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,907
Where'd you go?
481
00:22:45,931 --> 00:22:47,676
I went across to
the freshman dance.
482
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:49,444
There was no one there.
483
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:52,961
So I danced with Miss
Polniki, the school nutritionist.
484
00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:58,353
Look, Simon, I'm really
sorry what happened tonight.
485
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,655
I shouldn't have
done what I did.
486
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:02,390
It was mean.
487
00:23:02,414 --> 00:23:05,213
But believe me, I got a
big dose of mean right back.
488
00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:08,263
Could you ever forgive me?
489
00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:10,232
Yes.
490
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:11,800
Really?
491
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:13,969
Yes. I forgive you.
492
00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:16,204
I see you for what you are.
493
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,541
Not what you were at the
dance, but what you are right now.
494
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,109
Know why?
495
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,432
Because I am highly evolved.
496
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:29,050
So, then, we can
start over, right?
497
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,852
I mean, just as friends.
498
00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:33,555
It would be a lot cheaper.
499
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:35,257
See, I had a great time tonight.
500
00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:37,592
I got to be seen at
the dance with you.
501
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:39,828
It did a world of
good for my prestige.
502
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:43,220
And it was a real honor for me.
503
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:48,036
Believe me, Simon,
the honor was all mine.
504
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,472
You are one of the sweetest,
505
00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:52,874
nicest guys I'll
ever go out with.
506
00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:57,078
Hey, how'd you like
an ankle bracelet?
507
00:23:57,102 --> 00:24:01,082
It's my Mom's, but I think
I can get it off her leg.
508
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,870
She's a heavy sleeper.
509
00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:35,383
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
33938
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