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♪♪
2
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:18,828
♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪
3
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:24,534
♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪
4
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,036
♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪
5
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,839
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
6
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:35,078
♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
7
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:43,102
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
8
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:52,362
♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪
9
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:57,567
♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪
10
00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,390
♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪
11
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:07,744
Hey, Mom.
12
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,212
Morning, honey.
13
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,214
Where's Andy? He was supposed
to be down 15 minutes ago.
14
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,615
He's upstairs getting dressed.
15
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,250
Oh, yeah, it's his first
day of kindergarten, Mom.
16
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:15,618
He doesn't want to be late.
17
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,887
Most of the kids I knew who
were late for kindergarten
18
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,023
never bounced back.
19
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:23,793
Some are unemployed,
some are in jail,
20
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,196
the rest are at Grant College.
21
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,999
Seems like yesterday
we were taking you
22
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:32,101
to your first day
of kindergarten.
23
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:34,304
What a nightmare that was.
24
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,272
I thought it went
rather smoothly.
25
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,840
No, as soon as you found out
26
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,276
that your kindergarten teacher's
name was Mrs. McGovern,
27
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,791
you became hysterical.
28
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:45,415
We could not convince you
29
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,951
that she wasn't related
to George McGovern.
30
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:49,986
You kept screaming,
"Nixon's the one.
31
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:52,221
Four more years."
32
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,623
Jennifer, I'm telling
you, you look great!
33
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,824
I just want a second opinion.
34
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,392
Mom, what do you
think of this blouse?
35
00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:57,560
Well, the blouse is fine.
36
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,928
Where'd you get the pants?
37
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,697
Mallory and I went
shopping yesterday.
38
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,532
Well, how'd they get so ripped?
39
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,867
We had them done at the store.
40
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,803
Costs a little extra,
but it's worth it
41
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,352
to get them ripped
professionally, huh?
42
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,508
Well, Jen, you're not
wearing those pants to school.
43
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,410
Why? When you and
Dad were in school,
44
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,412
all your clothes were
ripped... I've seen pictures.
45
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:17,413
That's different.
46
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:18,548
Why?
47
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,950
I'll go ask your father.
48
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:24,954
Jen, I'm telling you, you are
gonna do great in high school.
49
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,990
Yeah, Jen, what are
you worried about?
50
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:27,991
This is Harding High.
51
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:29,292
This is my alma mater.
52
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,426
I'm a legend there.
53
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,496
Let's see your schedule.
54
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,898
Okay, let's take...
55
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,835
Okay, first period, you
got Mr. Gibson for English.
56
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,169
No problem.
57
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:43,406
He loved me, wrote me a
recommendation for college.
58
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,508
Second period, Mrs.
Hentaugh for math.
59
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,611
She wrote me two
recommendations for college.
60
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:51,481
Third period,
Mr. Kaufman for science.
61
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,917
He drove me to college.
62
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,654
Andy, Andy, let's
get to work, buddy.
63
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,155
Got a lot of ground
to cover here.
64
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,356
First day of kindergarten,
65
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,125
you want to get off
to a good start, right?
66
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,127
I'm ready, Alex.
67
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,662
Yeah, the first thing
your teacher's gonna ask
68
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:06,996
is what you did over the summer.
69
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,098
Now, a lot of kids are
gonna say, "I went to the zoo"
70
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,200
or "I went to the beach" or
"I went to a baseball game."
71
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:12,268
What are you gonna say?
72
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,285
I watched the
Iran-Contra hearings.
73
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,176
And...?
74
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,194
President Reagan
doesn't know anything.
75
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,384
Doesn't know anything
about the scandal.
76
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:32,622
Okay, you don't want to
be quoted out of context.
77
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:36,492
Alex, we've been over
this a thousand times.
78
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:39,962
Well, just... humor me, okay?
79
00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:44,356
Because our ripped pants
were a political statement.
80
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:48,471
What?
81
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:52,489
That's why we could wear ripped
pants to school and you can't.
82
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,046
Forget about the
pants for a minute.
83
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,381
What do you think of the blouse?
84
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,415
The blouse I like.
85
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,431
It's hip, it's rad, it's gnarly.
86
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,121
You'll have to change it.
87
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:08,291
Okay, Keaton school
bus leaving in 15 minutes.
88
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,259
First stop: kindergarten.
89
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:11,494
Coming, Alex?
90
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,996
Mm, I don't have to be
on campus till 11:00, Dad.
91
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,532
Tough schedule at Leland, huh?
92
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:18,601
Well, considering you
go to a college that offers
93
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:21,571
a graduate program
in Trivial Pursuit,
94
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,639
I wouldn't start with
the college jokes.
95
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,475
And for your information,
it's not a class,
96
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,876
it's a psychology experiment.
97
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,045
I didn't know you had
an interest in psychology.
98
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,046
I don't.
99
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,414
I have an interest in money.
100
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,850
Yes, you've mentioned that.
101
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:38,020
Some, uh, psych major's
doing a paper on overachievers...
102
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:40,423
put an ad in the Leland
Gazette looking for participants,
103
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,958
so I thought I'd apply.
104
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:45,094
It's 100 bucks just to see
what makes a guy like me tick.
105
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,519
Oh. Well, when they find
out, please let us know.
106
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,859
Chester, please. I'm
trying to work here.
107
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,120
Are you hungry?
108
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,932
What are you in the mood for?
109
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,881
Where did you learn
the sign for McNuggets?
110
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,566
Thanks. I know it's the door.
111
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,190
Hello. Can I help you?
112
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,224
Hello.
113
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,775
Alex P. Keaton, overachiever.
114
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,565
Good. I'm Lauren
Miller. Come in.
115
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:23,933
Thanks.
116
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,368
Come on, Chester, lunchtime!
117
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,469
He wants McNuggets.
118
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,304
Again?
119
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:33,509
I'm not gonna look like that
when you're done with me, am I?
120
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,945
No, no, no. Chester's
here learning sign language.
121
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,047
He has over a
300-word vocabulary.
122
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,483
That's incredible!
123
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,500
I have a sister who
gets by on half that.
124
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,056
Have a seat, Alex.
125
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,792
Oh, thanks very much.
126
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:50,860
Whoa.
127
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,261
So, have you ever
been the subject
128
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,096
of a psychological
profile before?
129
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,731
Uh, well, not
officially, Lauren.
130
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,066
Uh, although, when my
younger sister Jennifer
131
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,168
was in the fifth grade,
she had to do a paper
132
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,803
on a member of the
family and chose me.
133
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:01,871
That's sweet.
134
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,239
Yeah, I still
remember the title.
135
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,942
It was, uh, "He Ain't Heavy...
136
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,958
"But He's Annoying...
137
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:15,184
He's My Brother."
138
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,387
Well, this study will
probably be a little different.
139
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:21,824
Although I do like that title.
140
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,226
Now let me see
your resume, please.
141
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,227
Uh, sure.
142
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,562
Just got to... one sec.
143
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,869
There you go.
144
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,938
Well, you sure have been a
busy little beaver, haven't you?
145
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,940
Lord knows I try.
146
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,977
"Member of Phi Beta Kappa.
147
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,012
"President of the Young
Entrepreneurs Club.
148
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,748
"President of the Young
Businessmen's Club.
149
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,084
"President of the Alliance
of Young Entrepreneurs
150
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,685
and Young Businessmen."
151
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,421
Thank God someone
finally got them together.
152
00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:53,990
Well, it wasn't
really that hard.
153
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,006
I'm the only member
of both clubs.
154
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:01,731
"Winner of the
McKinley Fellowship,
155
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,533
the Rotary Scholarship,
the Wilson Scholarship."
156
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,269
Alex, this is really impressive.
157
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,271
Seems like the only
thing you haven't won yet
158
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,206
is the Miss America contest.
159
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,743
Well, you know
that's all political.
160
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,878
I'm really glad that you'll
be a part of this study.
161
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:16,979
You mean I'm accepted?
162
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,114
Accepted?
163
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,449
Alex, you are the
classic overachiever.
164
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,465
You're the Babe
Ruth of overachievers.
165
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,356
Well, we can start on Tuesday.
166
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:28,691
The sessions will
run about an hour.
167
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:29,992
All right.
168
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,761
Of course, you'll be
paid for your participation.
169
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,729
Paid? Paid?
170
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:34,730
Come on.
171
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,432
Forget about it.
172
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,167
No, it's really not necessary.
173
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,203
It's reward enough for me to
be able to help a fellow student
174
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:42,972
in pursuit of
academic knowledge.
175
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,988
Well, it's $50 a session.
176
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,781
The ad said a hundred.
177
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,883
No, no, it's a hundred
for schizophrenics
178
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,085
and 50 for overachievers.
179
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,286
Uh, why?
180
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,721
Uh, what, are you getting
181
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:01,738
a two-for-one deal
on schizophrenics?
182
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,895
No, we just have variable rates
183
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,596
depending on the
particular study.
184
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:08,597
Now, we can begin...
185
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,799
The ad said a hundred.
186
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,267
No, I've got it right here.
187
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,668
Then... uh-huh...
188
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:16,372
You see, 100 for schizophrenics,
85 for manic-depressives,
189
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,908
and 50 for overachievers.
190
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,443
I don't believe this.
191
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,012
I'm-I'm being penalized
for being normal.
192
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,114
Anyone who merged
the Young Businessmen
193
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:28,472
and the Young
Entrepreneurs is not normal.
194
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,888
Ooh. Ooh.
195
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,457
What is that supposed to mean?
196
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,492
It means that all of
you overachievers
197
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,960
are exactly the same.
198
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,228
You know, all you care about
199
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,830
is how much money
you're getting paid.
200
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,199
Well, what happened to the
idea of helping a fellow student
201
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,034
in the pursuit of
academic knowledge?
202
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,535
I wouldn't exactly call
203
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,939
a psychology experiment
academic knowledge.
204
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,207
What's wrong with psychology?
205
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,375
Nothing, nothing.
206
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,976
Has its place, right up there
207
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,832
with all the other
make-believe disciplines.
208
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:01,317
Like anthropology, sociology...
209
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,640
my personal favorite,
women's studies.
210
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,124
Well, for your
information, Mr. Keaton,
211
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,092
psychology is a
very real discipline.
212
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,061
But of course, I know
it's not as exciting
213
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,396
as sitting in a business class,
214
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,997
learning how to
take over the world
215
00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,265
in one huge
multinational merger.
216
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,433
All right, okay, all right.
217
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,801
Don't start knocking
business majors
218
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,669
just 'cause we don't
have time to sit around
219
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:22,104
and get in touch
with our feelings.
220
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:23,239
Oh, I know you don't.
221
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,373
That's 'cause you're too busy
222
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,841
getting in touch
with your brokers.
223
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,334
You leave my broker out of this.
224
00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:31,714
I'll tell you what.
225
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,916
I don't know if you
business, economic, yuppie,
226
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,251
Republican overachievers
have any feelings
227
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,552
to get in touch with.
228
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,120
Oh! Oh, really? Oh, really?
229
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,522
Well, I've got a feeling.
230
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,758
I got a feeling that this
whole thing is a mistake!
231
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,527
See, I know where
this study is going.
232
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,962
You're trying to show that just
because I am an overachiever,
233
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,397
that I have no soul.
234
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,032
That all I care about is money.
235
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,355
Well, let me tell you
something, missy, you are wrong.
236
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:57,190
And I'm not doing this
for a penny less than 75.
237
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:05,047
Hey, sorry I'm so late.
238
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,882
How'd the psychology session go?
239
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,618
Oh, Ma, if you don't mind,
I'd rather not talk about it.
240
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:10,619
Sorry.
241
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:11,954
I had a great first day.
242
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,189
I'm taking this biology course,
243
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,957
and I thought it'd
be really boring,
244
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:18,961
but I found a way to
relate it to my major.
245
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:22,364
Found a way to relate
biology and fashion design?
246
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,666
Uh-huh.
247
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,502
My first... my first research
paper is gonna be called
248
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:30,896
"Darwin and the Survival
of the Best Fitted."
249
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,045
That's real interesting, honey.
250
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:40,316
My basic premise is that certain
animal species became extinct
251
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,119
for the same reason certain
types of clothes disappear...
252
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,510
They simply go out of style.
253
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,826
In other words, the
dinosaur and the leisure suit
254
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,996
suffered the same fate.
255
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:58,300
I-I think it's a little more
complex than-than that, Mallory.
256
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,736
See, the dinosaurs
became extinct because of
257
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,573
some very severe,
uh, climatic changes
258
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,108
in the Earth's temperature.
259
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:07,176
Exactly.
260
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,192
They didn't have a
good winter wardrobe.
261
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,215
Meanwhile, the mammals
are running around
262
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:16,986
in stylish fur coats,
so they survived.
263
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,203
Yeah, that's great, honey.
264
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,127
That's the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.
265
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,729
There's no way that happened.
266
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:27,796
How do you know?
267
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,965
Were you there?
268
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:33,402
I've taken enough history to
know that the dinosaurs' problem
269
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,771
was not a lack of earmuffs.
270
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,106
What's your problem tonight?
271
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,507
Yeah, what's
bothering you, honey?
272
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,476
Did something go wrong
at the psychology session?
273
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,445
I go to see this girl, this
Lauren Miller girl, right?
274
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:44,947
The one, the one
that's conducting
275
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,016
the experiment on overachievers.
276
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,751
Anyway, things started out fine.
277
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,853
Said hello, you know,
exchanged a few pleasantries.
278
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,087
The next thing I know,
279
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,889
we get into this huge
argument about money.
280
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:57,059
Mm-hmm. In other words,
the same thing that happens
281
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,828
when you meet anybody.
282
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:02,631
Even though the ad clearly
stated $100 per session,
283
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,333
she tells me that's
just for schizophrenics.
284
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,035
That's so typical of psychology:
285
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,271
I'm being paid less money
'cause I only have one personality.
286
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,287
If that.
287
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,679
Then she starts accusing me
288
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,414
of being just like all
the other overachievers.
289
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,482
Um, only being interested
in money, and, uh...
290
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,785
and status, you know?
291
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:25,087
Not having time for the more
emotional areas in my life.
292
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,856
I'm telling you, nobody's
irritated me this much,
293
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,940
this fast, since the
first time I met Ellen.
294
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,730
Aw, come on... I know
what you're thinking.
295
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,665
You're thinking I'm
falling for this girl.
296
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,967
There's no way, that's not true.
297
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,983
Alex and Lauren,
sittin' in a tree...
298
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,978
Why don't you go put some
earmuffs on a dinosaur, Mal?
299
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:51,747
Hello.
300
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,682
Uh...
301
00:12:52,706 --> 00:12:55,684
Oh, um... ye-yes, uh-hmm.
302
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,685
Just-Just a second.
303
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,220
Alex, it's Lauren Miller.
304
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,236
It is?
305
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,728
What does she... what...
what does she want?
306
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,730
She agrees to $75,
307
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,431
and she wants to know
if you'll start Tuesday.
308
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,667
Uh, uh, just, uh...
tell-tell-tell her I'm eating.
309
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,269
All right? No! Um...
310
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,638
Uh, tell her, uh... tell
her I'm in the shower.
311
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,406
No. No, um...
312
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,422
Uh, tell-tell her I'm
eating in the shower.
313
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,846
You know, I think he
might be able to get
314
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,862
that schizophrenic
rate after all.
315
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,347
Yes, Alex is coming back.
316
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,799
I know how you feel about him.
317
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,209
Alex P. Keaton, overachiever.
318
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:02,217
Hey, Chester. How
you doing, buddy?
319
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,519
What-What does it mean
320
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,535
when he holds up his
middle finger like that?
321
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,393
Exactly what you think it means.
322
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,417
Oh.
323
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,498
Look, Alex, before
we get started,
324
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,635
I'd like to officially apologize
for my behavior the other day.
325
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,537
It was... it was
very unprofessional.
326
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,005
Well, I'd like to
apologize also.
327
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,240
I-I didn't mean to
slander psychology.
328
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:28,377
It's definitely better
than women's studies.
329
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,079
And I'm sorry I criticized
330
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,095
your incredible, all-consuming
money obsession.
331
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,786
Not your normal exchange
of apologies but, uh...
332
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,655
it's all we got.
333
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,157
- Shall we get to work, then?
- Sure.
334
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,293
Whoa, whoa, wait a
minute, wait a minute, wait...
335
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,994
I... I don't want to harp
on this money issue,
336
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:48,564
but if you're going
to electrocute me,
337
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,648
I'd like another
$75 for my family.
338
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,170
Alex, this is just a
polygraph machine.
339
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:57,740
If someone displays undue
tension or an increase in pulse
340
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,408
when answering a question,
341
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,945
the machine buzzes, and I
know they're not telling the truth.
342
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,646
Does it really bother you?
343
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:05,814
No, no, absolutely not.
344
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:07,349
Absolutely not. Uh...
345
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:09,365
I got nothing to hide.
346
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,129
Oh, good. It's working.
347
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,865
Now, first I'd like to
ask you a few questions
348
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,333
to see how well you'll fit in
349
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,235
with the rest of
the subject group.
350
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,704
Now, politically, would you
describe yourself as liberal,
351
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,806
middle of the road,
or conservative?
352
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,976
Uh, well, I-I... I don't
really like political labels.
353
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:38,981
Conservative.
354
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,016
Thank you.
355
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,551
Okay, overachievers...
356
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,354
They tend to meticulously plan
out every aspect of their lives,
357
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,322
from graduation to retirement.
358
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,558
Do you see yourself as
an obsessive planner?
359
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:50,893
What, me?
360
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,909
No.
361
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,899
Well, I-I wouldn't
say "obsessive."
362
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,518
I'm a planning maniac.
363
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,479
Now, the typical overachiever
364
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,214
is so focused on
classes and career
365
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:14,082
that there's not much
time left for dating.
366
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,453
Would you say you have
a very active social life?
367
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:21,123
An... active...
active social life.
368
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:22,724
Yeah. Are you actively dating?
369
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,635
Well...
370
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:37,639
I go out on a couple
of dates a week.
371
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,325
Maybe more.
372
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,485
This particular week
was a little slow.
373
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,655
This particular year
was a little slow.
374
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,427
You're lucky you
don't have one of these
375
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,062
strapped to you in real life.
376
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,196
Look, I'm just... I just...
377
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,631
I'm not very good
at sitting here
378
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:03,966
and answering these
personal questions, you know?
379
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,801
Uh, maybe if it was a little
more of a give and take.
380
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,336
You know, maybe if I
asked you some questions?
381
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,171
Okay, but Alex, I'm not the
one that's being studied here.
382
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,739
I'm not the overachiever.
383
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,641
Hey, come on, you
can't be doing too bad.
384
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,844
I mean, not everybody gets to
do an honors thesis in psychology.
385
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,312
Well, that's different.
386
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:20,048
Psychology's always
come very naturally for me.
387
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:22,064
Even when I was a kid, I was...
388
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,454
You really don't want
to hear about this.
389
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,856
No, no! I do, I do! I... really.
390
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,825
It'll-It'll-It'll make us more
comfortable with each other.
391
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,842
I'll be able to lie in a
much more relaxed fashion.
392
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,664
I remember when I was a kid,
393
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,133
my mother came into my room
and she was screaming at me,
394
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,235
'cause I'd made this
huge mess in the kitchen.
395
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,370
Thanks.
396
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,572
She must have yelled
at me for about an hour,
397
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:44,840
and when she finished, I just...
398
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,476
I looked at her very
calmly and said,
399
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,628
"So how does that
make you feel, Mom?"
400
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,115
That must have driven her crazy.
401
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:54,716
And the crazier she got,
402
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,152
the more interested I
became in psychology.
403
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:58,387
All my girlfriends
had pictures of
404
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,889
David Cassidy and John Travolta
405
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,424
in their... in their
lockers at school.
406
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,294
I had this big picture of Freud.
407
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:09,631
All my friends had pictures of
Jaclyn Smith, Farrah Fawcett...
408
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,648
and, uh, I had this big
picture of Pat Nixon.
409
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,209
Um, now that we're more
relaxed with each other,
410
00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,945
let's get back to work, okay?
411
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:26,281
Yeah, how about... how
about you, uh, Lauren?
412
00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,984
Are you actively dating?
413
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:32,955
That's an area of my life
that's in a holding pattern.
414
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:34,923
I wish I could be as
analytical about love
415
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,292
as you overachievers, but...
416
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,660
I guess you could say that
417
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:41,229
I'm in the "hopeless
romantic" category.
418
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,732
Right.
419
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,133
You know, I don't think that
420
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,568
we're gonna get
a lot done today.
421
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,003
Why don't we just wrap it up?
422
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,939
Or we could just continue
talking about this informally.
423
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,075
Uh, maybe over a cup of coffee?
424
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,943
Coffee?
425
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,778
I don't know.
426
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,794
Is this a beverage problem?
427
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,689
No, I just... we've
just got such a great
428
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,192
psychologist-overachiever
relationship, and I'd...
429
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,127
- I'd hate to see that change.
- Right, I understand.
430
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,962
Anyway, I've got a class
in a couple of minutes.
431
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,264
Sure.
432
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,333
Oh, by the way, Alex...
433
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,835
I'd like to come by your
house sometime this week
434
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,003
and talk to your family.
435
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,471
I like to get a firsthand look
436
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,806
at each overachiever's
home environment.
437
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,274
I'll see you.
438
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,176
Just what I need.
439
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,192
A psychologist who
makes house calls.
440
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,248
Oh, great, good,
everybody's here.
441
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,883
Now is a good time
for us to go over
442
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,251
what we're going to say
when Lauren gets here.
443
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,453
No, Alex, I know exactly
what I'm gonna say.
444
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:39,988
I've been waiting 18 years
445
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,172
to discuss you with someone
in the mental health field.
446
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:46,695
Look, Mal, you got
to be very careful
447
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,730
what you say to a psychologist.
448
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:52,401
That's why I've, uh, drawn up
some appropriate comments...
449
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,436
for all of you.
450
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,305
"Alex is more than a son.
451
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,975
"He's a friend.
452
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,643
"A companion.
453
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,046
"Someone with whom I
can spend many happy hours
454
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,915
discussing politics, world
affairs and current events."
455
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,917
Alex, I'm afraid
if I read this aloud
456
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,153
I'll be struck by lightning.
457
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,854
Mom...
458
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,257
"Mom, please read the 'Alex
is more than a son' speech
459
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,477
if Dad refuses to."
460
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,363
"When I think of Alex,
three words come to mind:
461
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:24,199
integrity,
intelligence, intellect."
462
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,500
And, of course,
463
00:20:25,524 --> 00:20:28,517
the soon-to-be-added
"institutionalized."
464
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:33,208
No improvising.
465
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,077
"The thing I love
best about Alex
466
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,412
is that whenever I have
a problem, he's around."
467
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,428
You are never
interested in my problems.
468
00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:42,017
Where does it
say I'm interested?
469
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,252
It says I'm around.
470
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,723
There's a
psychologist out there.
471
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,759
Good, there's a
crazy person in here.
472
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:53,795
Lauren. Uh... uh, um...
473
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,063
Everybody, this
is Lauren Miller.
474
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,631
Lauren, this is my
father Steven Keaton,
475
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,300
- My mother Elyse Keaton...
- Hi, Lauren.
476
00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,634
- Hi.
- Uh, my sisters Jennifer,
477
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,503
Mallory and I
guess you met Andy.
478
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:03,004
I really want to thank you all
479
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,573
for taking the time
to talk with me.
480
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,008
I always find that visiting
the home of an overachiever
481
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:09,211
gives me a special perspective.
482
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,227
You should see what
living with one does.
483
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,349
Well, uh...
484
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,985
why don't we go
into the living room?
485
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,386
You know, uh, Lauren,
486
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,722
Alex is more than a son, he...
487
00:21:20,746 --> 00:21:22,738
I can't do it.
488
00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:28,630
Andy! Andy, Andy.
489
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:29,898
How's it going in there, buddy?
490
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,166
I'm not sure.
491
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:32,522
What does "straightjacket" mean?
492
00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:38,607
So I said, I don't care
how much interest
493
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,542
a money market is making, Alex.
494
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:42,558
I don't think it's a very
nice gift for Grandma.
495
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,148
Lauren! Lauren! Uh, Lauren...
496
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:47,716
Uh, can I speak
to you for a minute?
497
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:48,950
Sure. What's up?
498
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,352
Nothing.
499
00:21:50,376 --> 00:21:52,487
Uh, we just... we never really
had a chance to say hello.
500
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:55,037
- Hi.
- Hi.
501
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:57,793
Uh, so how's it going in there?
502
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,796
Well, the only thing
I can tell you for sure
503
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,584
is that you're not normal.
504
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,700
But other than that,
there's no sign of
505
00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:07,035
a severely maladjusted id,
506
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,537
or a wildly fluctuating ego.
507
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:09,871
Which in Freudian terms means...
508
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:12,240
They're the two elements
balanced by the superego.
509
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,256
How did you know that?
510
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:17,279
Uh, well, I-I, uh...
511
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:19,548
I took some Freud out of
the library the other day.
512
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:22,617
I just figured since you were...
you were spending so much time
513
00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,386
uh, trying to figure me out,
514
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:27,589
I'd, um, I'd see
what made you tick.
515
00:22:27,613 --> 00:22:29,157
Uh, actually, the
interesting thing is
516
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,159
this Freud's a
pretty amazing guy.
517
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:34,062
Although I do think he's a
little too sexually oriented.
518
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:35,931
Really?
519
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,947
That's kind of what
I liked about him.
520
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:44,172
I'm really surprised
you did that, Alex.
521
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,842
It's a very
non-overachiever-ish thing to do.
522
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:49,511
Yeah, well, I felt pretty
non-overachiever-ish
523
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,470
when I did it.
524
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:54,249
I'm gonna get back inside.
525
00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:55,684
Yeah, Lauren...?
526
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,352
What?
527
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,956
You be careful on your
way into that living room.
528
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,190
Thanks.
529
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,580
I will.
530
00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:09,297
I guess you could say
I've always wanted to excel.
531
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:12,300
I mean, even as a young boy.
532
00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:15,036
But it wasn't so much the
winning that mattered to me...
533
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,544
it was the pure enjoyment
of the competition.
534
00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:27,682
And I've always
felt, in my heart...
535
00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:33,488
You know, the amazing thing is
536
00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:35,504
it's not even on.
537
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,933
All right, I think I've had
enough abuse for one day.
538
00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:47,269
Okay, that was a great session.
539
00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:49,638
Thanks.
540
00:23:49,662 --> 00:23:51,072
You know, I had a terrific time
541
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:52,674
talking to your
family the other day.
542
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,309
They really seem
to love you a lot.
543
00:23:54,333 --> 00:23:56,711
You sure it was my
family you were talking to?
544
00:23:56,735 --> 00:23:58,914
They gave me a lot
of great information.
545
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:01,908
And they told me about Ellen.
546
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,654
Oh, yeah.
547
00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:07,222
Do you mind discussing her?
548
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:08,690
Because if you'd rather not...
549
00:24:08,714 --> 00:24:09,891
Oh, no, no, no... no problem.
550
00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,975
No, I... I love to
talk about Ellen.
551
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,664
What do you want to know?
552
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:18,767
Well, psychologically
speaking, it's interesting
553
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,201
that you should
be in a relationship
554
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:22,103
with a girl like Ellen.
555
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,205
I mean, considering
that most overachievers
556
00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:27,342
look for other
overachievers to go out with.
557
00:24:27,366 --> 00:24:30,478
I mean, she was
an artist, wasn't she?
558
00:24:30,502 --> 00:24:31,780
Uh, yeah, an artist...
559
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:34,049
dancer, a poet...
560
00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:36,785
yeah, we were
complete opposites.
561
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,987
Why did you break up?
562
00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:42,223
Oh, she got a dance
scholarship in Paris.
563
00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:46,161
I got one, too, but...
564
00:24:46,185 --> 00:24:48,330
Do you miss her?
565
00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:52,367
Sure... yeah.
566
00:24:52,391 --> 00:24:56,771
I-I miss her in the way that you
miss a close friend, you know?
567
00:24:56,795 --> 00:24:59,307
I mean, Ellen...
Ellen taught me a lot.
568
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:01,443
She taught me how
to appreciate art.
569
00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:05,928
Or... at least not to
laugh at it so much.
570
00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:10,085
She taught me...
571
00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:12,754
She taught me how to come
out of my emotional shell.
572
00:25:12,778 --> 00:25:15,256
You know? Be
more... more giving.
573
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,624
More open.
574
00:25:16,648 --> 00:25:18,827
More caring.
575
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:21,411
Made me a better person.
576
00:25:22,588 --> 00:25:25,786
Alex, what you just
said was really beautiful.
577
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:29,204
I mean, it was almost poetic.
578
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,272
Well, that hardly
seems possible.
579
00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:33,288
Nothing rhymed.
580
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,947
It just doesn't add up.
581
00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:41,750
I mean, on the surface,
you're this business-oriented,
582
00:25:41,774 --> 00:25:44,119
money-minded, conservative guy,
583
00:25:44,143 --> 00:25:45,754
yet you fell for
a girl like Ellen,
584
00:25:45,778 --> 00:25:48,590
and expressed
those kind of feelings.
585
00:25:48,614 --> 00:25:52,060
You're definitely the most
complex overachiever I know.
586
00:25:52,084 --> 00:25:54,529
How many of us do you know?
587
00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:56,765
Well, I've interviewed
12 people so far.
588
00:25:56,789 --> 00:25:59,567
And I was going
out with this guy
589
00:25:59,591 --> 00:26:02,837
who definitely qualified
as an overachiever.
590
00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:05,607
You-you and an overachiever?
591
00:26:05,631 --> 00:26:08,533
That seems
biologically impossible.
592
00:26:10,202 --> 00:26:12,580
He was a graduate student
in business management.
593
00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:14,596
And you let him go?
594
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,320
Well, we went out
for almost a year.
595
00:26:19,344 --> 00:26:21,189
It was sort of like your
relationship with Ellen.
596
00:26:21,213 --> 00:26:23,825
We were also complete opposites.
597
00:26:23,849 --> 00:26:26,428
But we did have some good times.
598
00:26:26,452 --> 00:26:28,229
What happened?
599
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:31,533
Got a job offer from a big
investment firm on Wall Street,
600
00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:35,136
his own office and
$50,000 a year to start.
601
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,471
So he left.
602
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:39,488
Well, you can't
really blame the guy.
603
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,114
I don't blame him.
604
00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:48,450
It was mutual... I mean, I-I...
605
00:26:48,474 --> 00:26:51,219
I got tired of
interpreting his dreams.
606
00:26:51,243 --> 00:26:54,689
They were always about BMWs.
607
00:26:54,713 --> 00:26:58,860
Uh, so, you, uh, you haven't
seen anybody since then?
608
00:26:58,884 --> 00:27:01,396
Alex, how come you're the one
609
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,631
that always ends up
asking me the questions?
610
00:27:03,655 --> 00:27:05,133
I'll share my hundred
bucks with you.
611
00:27:05,157 --> 00:27:07,149
Seventy-five.
612
00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:10,252
Don't be so hung up on money.
613
00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:13,942
No, I haven't seen
anybody since then.
614
00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:16,010
I guess you can say
I've been kind of wary
615
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:18,646
- about getting involved.
- All right.
616
00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,215
Have you seen
anybody since Ellen?
617
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:22,584
No.
618
00:27:22,608 --> 00:27:26,020
I guess you could say I've
been pretty wary myself.
619
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,021
- I guess it's best that way.
- Yeah, I mean...
620
00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:28,022
that way nobody gets hurt.
621
00:27:28,046 --> 00:27:29,878
Exactly.
622
00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:34,462
Although, um...
623
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:37,932
although, sometimes if you
take the chance of getting hurt...
624
00:27:37,956 --> 00:27:40,135
you could be surprised.
625
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:42,856
That's true.
626
00:27:45,564 --> 00:27:48,243
Look, Alex, I got some research
I want you to comment on.
627
00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:49,792
Right.
628
00:27:51,803 --> 00:27:54,282
I mean, I had some research
I wanted you to comment on.
629
00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:55,817
- I got it, here.
- No, no, I got it.
630
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,085
No, let me get it...
631
00:27:57,109 --> 00:27:59,101
Got it; I got it.
632
00:28:06,485 --> 00:28:09,063
Uh... Lauren, look,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
633
00:28:09,087 --> 00:28:10,265
I-I didn't, I didn't
mean to kiss you.
634
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:12,000
I was, I was helping
you with the papers
635
00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:13,652
and your lips got in the way.
636
00:28:17,896 --> 00:28:20,108
It's okay; this is really
interesting stuff here.
637
00:28:20,132 --> 00:28:22,658
It's... you'll hardly
be able to put it down.
638
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,986
- Alex, I got to go.
- Lauren, uh...
639
00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:33,688
Lauren, wait a minute, um...
640
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:36,204
Look, uh, we were
just getting good at that.
641
00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:42,497
- Is Alex home yet?
- Not yet, honey.
642
00:28:42,521 --> 00:28:44,098
He still must be at school.
643
00:28:44,122 --> 00:28:46,634
Oh. High school's gonna be
a lot rougher than I thought.
644
00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:48,970
This algebra course is a killer.
645
00:28:48,994 --> 00:28:50,405
Well, maybe we
can help you, Jen.
646
00:28:50,429 --> 00:28:52,440
I think I better wait for Alex.
647
00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:53,975
Wait a minute. Wait a min...
648
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:56,978
You're sitting here, uh,
with two college graduates.
649
00:28:57,002 --> 00:28:59,280
I'm sure we can
handle it. Right, Elyse?
650
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:01,749
I think we should wait for Alex.
651
00:29:01,773 --> 00:29:03,451
Give me a shot.
652
00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:06,588
I'm not optimistic
about this, Dad.
653
00:29:06,612 --> 00:29:09,157
Go ahead; I'm listening.
654
00:29:09,181 --> 00:29:10,358
"There are two trains.
655
00:29:10,382 --> 00:29:12,193
"If the first train's
destination is
656
00:29:12,217 --> 00:29:14,596
"a thousand miles away,
and it travels at a speed
657
00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:17,332
"of 120 miles an
hour for two hours,
658
00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:19,467
"making three stops
of ten minutes each,
659
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:22,971
"at what point will it pass a
train coming from 700 miles away
660
00:29:22,995 --> 00:29:26,140
"in the opposite direction,
traveling 90 miles an hour,
661
00:29:26,164 --> 00:29:29,444
making stops of 18,
12 and ten minutes?"
662
00:29:36,341 --> 00:29:39,287
There-there are
two trains, right?
663
00:29:39,311 --> 00:29:41,589
I'll send Alex up
when he gets home.
664
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,104
Thanks.
665
00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:46,060
Hey.
666
00:29:46,084 --> 00:29:47,528
Alex, when you have a chance,
667
00:29:47,552 --> 00:29:49,330
Jen could use some help
on an algebra problem?
668
00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:51,065
Yeah, I'll go up in a minute...
Can I talk to you guys?
669
00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:52,634
- Oh.
- Sure, what's up?
670
00:29:52,658 --> 00:29:55,036
I did something
incredible today.
671
00:29:55,060 --> 00:29:57,605
Something I told
myself I'd never do.
672
00:29:57,629 --> 00:30:01,376
You helped a Democrat
cross the street?
673
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,177
Worse.
674
00:30:03,201 --> 00:30:04,479
You see, it happened during
675
00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:06,047
one of my research
sessions with Lauren.
676
00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:09,050
Um... we were talking, you know,
677
00:30:09,074 --> 00:30:12,553
this, that, you
know, and, uh, um...
678
00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:16,157
Anyway, one thing
and another, you know...
679
00:30:16,181 --> 00:30:18,860
Well, what happened
after you kissed her?
680
00:30:18,884 --> 00:30:21,629
I-I, I, I fumbled
out a little apology.
681
00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,531
I mean, it was a little kiss.
682
00:30:23,555 --> 00:30:25,066
It was a little nothing.
683
00:30:25,090 --> 00:30:27,235
And then-then,
then she kissed me.
684
00:30:27,259 --> 00:30:29,370
A big one.
685
00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:31,761
Nearly tore the
ligaments in my neck.
686
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,010
And, uh, and then-then-then
she just ran out of the room.
687
00:30:36,034 --> 00:30:37,712
And you haven't seen her since?
688
00:30:37,736 --> 00:30:39,614
Well, judging by
my romantic history,
689
00:30:39,638 --> 00:30:41,916
she's probably on a
plane for Paris right now.
690
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,284
They have that
regularly scheduled
691
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:46,120
"Au revoir, Alex" flight.
692
00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:49,891
Alex, does Lauren know
how you feel about her?
693
00:30:49,915 --> 00:30:52,226
I don't know how
I feel about her.
694
00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:55,730
I mean, on one hand, I
can't stop thinking about her.
695
00:30:55,754 --> 00:30:57,899
And on the other
hand, I'm just not ready
696
00:30:57,923 --> 00:30:59,755
for this kind of
relationship right now.
697
00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:03,271
Hey, what's going on?
698
00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:06,274
Oh, we're, uh, having a
private discussion, Mal.
699
00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:08,543
Great. What's it about?
700
00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:12,080
Private... meaning I'd
rather not discuss it with you.
701
00:31:12,104 --> 00:31:15,183
Alex, why won't you share some
of your emotional life with me?
702
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:18,052
After all, there's so
little of it to go around.
703
00:31:18,076 --> 00:31:21,022
Because, Mal, whenever I
tell you something personal,
704
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:24,926
it's instantly transmitted up
to some big gossip satellite
705
00:31:24,950 --> 00:31:27,161
in the sky, and then
beamed back down
706
00:31:27,185 --> 00:31:30,765
into the otherwise empty heads
of your rumor-mongering friends.
707
00:31:30,789 --> 00:31:34,369
Alex, I won't tell
a soul; I promise.
708
00:31:36,061 --> 00:31:38,373
Well, there's-there's
an outside possibility
709
00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:39,974
that I may have
developed something other
710
00:31:39,998 --> 00:31:42,610
than a professional
relationship with Lauren.
711
00:31:42,634 --> 00:31:45,847
Oh, I've already
spread that gossip.
712
00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:47,415
How do you know?
713
00:31:47,439 --> 00:31:49,384
Because you always
wear that-that blue sweater
714
00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:50,518
when you want to impress a girl.
715
00:31:50,542 --> 00:31:52,720
The one with the
monogrammed "APK" on it.
716
00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:54,589
It's totally wrong
for you, by the way.
717
00:31:54,613 --> 00:31:58,192
Makes you look like
a big, blue bath towel.
718
00:31:58,216 --> 00:32:01,796
That's the look I
was going for, Mal.
719
00:32:01,820 --> 00:32:03,498
Well, congratulations.
720
00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:05,767
Anyway, this whole thing
is complicated by the fact
721
00:32:05,791 --> 00:32:08,336
that Lauren has already
been through a bad experience
722
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,871
with another guy.
723
00:32:09,895 --> 00:32:12,140
Well, then that's perfectly
understandable behavior
724
00:32:12,164 --> 00:32:13,775
coming off a breakup.
725
00:32:13,799 --> 00:32:14,942
Mom's right.
726
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:16,844
I know if Nick was
suddenly out of my life,
727
00:32:16,868 --> 00:32:19,814
I'd have a hard time starting a
relationship with somebody new.
728
00:32:19,838 --> 00:32:22,831
You'll never know until you try.
729
00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:29,357
No, I think what I should
do here is continue
730
00:32:29,381 --> 00:32:31,092
with the sessions, you know?
731
00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:32,560
Pretend that nothing happened.
732
00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:36,297
Feel her out, and don't
commit until she commits.
733
00:32:36,321 --> 00:32:37,532
Alex, I think you should
tell her how you feel.
734
00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:40,468
Be as open and
honest as you can.
735
00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:43,137
I can't be open
and honest with her.
736
00:32:43,161 --> 00:32:44,806
She's a psychology major.
737
00:32:44,830 --> 00:32:46,822
She'll see right through that.
738
00:32:47,933 --> 00:32:50,845
We-we were just talking.
739
00:32:50,869 --> 00:32:54,897
One thing lead to another
and then he kissed me.
740
00:32:57,843 --> 00:33:00,755
No, I'm not gonna tell
him how I feel about him.
741
00:33:00,779 --> 00:33:03,257
I don't even know
how I feel about him.
742
00:33:04,749 --> 00:33:06,360
All right, here he is.
743
00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:09,130
I want everything to be
completely business-like.
744
00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:10,747
Maybe you should go.
745
00:33:20,465 --> 00:33:24,178
Hello.
746
00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:25,947
Come in.
747
00:33:25,971 --> 00:33:27,181
Got a lot of ground
to cover today.
748
00:33:27,205 --> 00:33:28,983
- Why don't we get started?
- Fine.
749
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:31,018
Fine, I'm ready to work.
750
00:33:31,042 --> 00:33:33,154
That's why I'm here.
751
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:34,856
Good.
752
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,225
Okay, last time we
discussed your childhood
753
00:33:37,249 --> 00:33:39,126
and your scholastic career.
754
00:33:39,150 --> 00:33:41,229
Today I'd like to
discuss your future.
755
00:33:41,253 --> 00:33:42,497
Fine.
756
00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:45,299
How do you picture your
life ten years from now?
757
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:47,468
Ten years from
now? Uh, let me see.
758
00:33:47,492 --> 00:33:49,003
Um, well I'd
probably be a partner
759
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:51,272
in a major New
York banking firm,
760
00:33:51,296 --> 00:33:54,408
making a quarter of a
million dollars a year.
761
00:33:54,432 --> 00:33:56,777
Uh, I'll have a
condo in Manhattan,
762
00:33:56,801 --> 00:33:59,614
beach house in Long Island,
763
00:33:59,638 --> 00:34:01,004
house in-between.
764
00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:05,944
For storage.
765
00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:09,390
Uh...
766
00:34:09,414 --> 00:34:12,059
couple of cars, a boat...
767
00:34:12,083 --> 00:34:14,795
helicopter.
768
00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:19,484
And a huge electrical fence
to keep poor relatives out.
769
00:34:22,527 --> 00:34:24,739
How about you... how do you
see yourself ten years from now?
770
00:34:24,763 --> 00:34:26,641
Alex, this is how
we get into trouble.
771
00:34:26,665 --> 00:34:29,510
You start asking questions,
you throw me off track,
772
00:34:29,534 --> 00:34:31,045
the next thing you
know, we're on the floor
773
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:32,980
and you're kissing me.
774
00:34:33,004 --> 00:34:34,949
While we're on this
topic, let me just say
775
00:34:34,973 --> 00:34:37,084
that while I was kissing
you, you were kissing me.
776
00:34:37,108 --> 00:34:38,519
What happened at
our last session was
777
00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:40,254
a very natural thing.
778
00:34:40,278 --> 00:34:42,557
We were opening up
emotionally to each other,
779
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:44,292
things got a little out of hand.
780
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:46,827
It happens all the time.
781
00:34:46,851 --> 00:34:49,497
Lauren, if that
happens all the time...
782
00:34:49,521 --> 00:34:52,548
you're gonna be the most
popular psychologist in Ohio.
783
00:34:54,559 --> 00:34:57,405
It's a very simple
psychological phenomenon
784
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,774
known as "emotional
transference."
785
00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:01,309
It's well-documented
in the literature.
786
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:02,858
Look, I'll show you.
787
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:07,548
Try looking under "kiss."
788
00:35:07,572 --> 00:35:10,785
"Transference... The
psychological carryover
789
00:35:10,809 --> 00:35:12,253
"of learned emotional responses
790
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,222
"from one behavioral
situation to another.
791
00:35:15,246 --> 00:35:17,238
See 'Kiss. ""
792
00:35:19,718 --> 00:35:22,063
I was just like it
noted, for the record,
793
00:35:22,087 --> 00:35:23,564
that we were kissing each other.
794
00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:24,665
It's duly noted.
795
00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:25,833
Thank you, Miss Miller.
796
00:35:25,857 --> 00:35:27,587
You're welcome, Mr. Kiss.
797
00:35:31,329 --> 00:35:33,608
Well, now that we've
gotten that cleared up,
798
00:35:33,632 --> 00:35:35,343
may we please continue?
799
00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:37,359
Yes, ma'am.
800
00:35:38,903 --> 00:35:40,414
Okay.
801
00:35:40,438 --> 00:35:42,183
So far, you've got a
quarter of a million dollars
802
00:35:42,207 --> 00:35:45,553
and a huge fence.
803
00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:48,389
That's a very full life.
804
00:35:48,413 --> 00:35:50,458
Are you married?
805
00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:51,859
Definitely, definitely.
806
00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:53,327
And what's your wife like?
807
00:35:53,351 --> 00:35:55,963
She's a, she's a warm...
808
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:57,798
wonderful caring woman.
809
00:35:57,822 --> 00:36:00,724
Who looks great
in an evening gown.
810
00:36:02,694 --> 00:36:03,938
Understands my needs.
811
00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:05,840
You know, my priorities
are her priorities.
812
00:36:05,864 --> 00:36:08,042
You know, she's always
there for me, willing to listen.
813
00:36:08,066 --> 00:36:11,779
You know, to stand behind
me, to support me, comfort me.
814
00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:12,847
Uh-huh.
815
00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:14,615
Where are you
planning to meet her,
816
00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:16,267
at dog obedience school?
817
00:36:26,418 --> 00:36:29,230
All right, what is that
supposed to mean?
818
00:36:29,254 --> 00:36:31,932
Nothing, nothing at all.
819
00:36:31,956 --> 00:36:34,135
It's just that she sounds
a tad subservient.
820
00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:35,369
Subservient?
821
00:36:35,393 --> 00:36:37,405
How is that subservient?
822
00:36:37,429 --> 00:36:40,490
She'll have a key to the fence.
823
00:36:43,735 --> 00:36:46,814
And I can just imagine what
your husband is gonna be like.
824
00:36:46,838 --> 00:36:48,315
And what's that
supposed to mean?
825
00:36:48,339 --> 00:36:52,887
Well, you'll probably have him
strapped to a polygraph machine.
826
00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:56,223
Make sure all his feelings,
all his emotions are real.
827
00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:58,125
That's right. I'd like
to be with a man
828
00:36:58,149 --> 00:36:59,994
who's not afraid to
express his feelings.
829
00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:01,128
What's wrong with that?
830
00:37:01,152 --> 00:37:02,697
Absolutely nothing.
831
00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:05,700
Why don't we give
Phil Donahue a call?
832
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:07,568
Well, let's just
hope, for your sake,
833
00:37:07,592 --> 00:37:10,905
that in ten years,
Pat Nixon is available.
834
00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:13,607
Oh, oh, now you're
making fun of Pat Nixon.
835
00:37:13,631 --> 00:37:16,477
Is nothing sacred to you?
836
00:37:16,501 --> 00:37:18,479
You know, I hope you
can make that fence
837
00:37:18,503 --> 00:37:20,948
of yours real tall, Alex,
'cause I wouldn't want you
838
00:37:20,972 --> 00:37:23,150
to see any part of the
real world by mistake.
839
00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:25,052
You're telling me
about the real world?
840
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,488
A girl who holes
up in a psych lab
841
00:37:27,512 --> 00:37:30,624
behind all her books and her
reports, judging other people.
842
00:37:30,648 --> 00:37:32,093
Oh, good!
843
00:37:32,117 --> 00:37:34,729
Things are finally getting
out in the open here!
844
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,997
Yeah, one more thing: You
know, I came here today thinking
845
00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:39,233
that maybe, by some
incredible chance,
846
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,001
we might have
something together.
847
00:37:41,025 --> 00:37:42,503
Boy, was I wrong.
848
00:37:42,527 --> 00:37:45,039
You know, for your information,
I was wondering the same thing.
849
00:37:45,063 --> 00:37:46,607
You know, I thought
you were different.
850
00:37:46,631 --> 00:37:49,009
I must have been crazy.
You're just like all the others.
851
00:37:49,033 --> 00:37:51,445
All right, okay, here we
are, back to the first day...
852
00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:52,513
The big generalizations.
853
00:37:52,537 --> 00:37:54,281
All of us overachievers
are the same.
854
00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:56,617
All right, look, every
response is identical.
855
00:37:56,641 --> 00:37:58,652
"I want a quarter
of a million dollars.
856
00:37:58,676 --> 00:38:00,087
"I want a beach house.
857
00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:02,823
I want a fence to
keep my relatives out."
858
00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:04,592
You know, the biggest
distinction is whether
859
00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:07,995
to get the Jaguar in
black, red or racing green.
860
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:10,011
They come in racing green?
861
00:38:15,193 --> 00:38:17,471
You know, I'll
tell you this much.
862
00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:20,841
The guy I fell for isn't
gonna plan his life out
863
00:38:20,865 --> 00:38:22,543
according to some graph.
864
00:38:22,567 --> 00:38:25,279
And his wife isn't going
to be a walking Barbie doll.
865
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,281
He's gonna be
overwhelmed with passion
866
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:29,083
and devastated by emotion
867
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:31,452
and exhausted by
the intensity of his love.
868
00:38:31,476 --> 00:38:35,140
And I was overwhelmed and
devastated and exhausted.
869
00:38:36,347 --> 00:38:38,339
I just freshened up
before I came over here.
870
00:38:40,185 --> 00:38:41,629
I don't know why I bothered.
871
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:42,730
You know, I really
don't see any point
872
00:38:42,754 --> 00:38:44,165
with going on with
these sessions.
873
00:38:44,189 --> 00:38:45,299
No, that's great...
Why don't you just send
874
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,500
the check to my
house, all right?
875
00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:48,803
Of course. You'll get
your precious check.
876
00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:51,872
Hey, Chester, don't ever evolve.
877
00:38:51,896 --> 00:38:53,728
It's not worth it.
878
00:38:58,570 --> 00:39:00,381
All right.
879
00:39:00,405 --> 00:39:01,582
Hey.
880
00:39:01,606 --> 00:39:03,184
Hey, where's everybody going?
881
00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:05,586
We're taking Andy
to see Snow White.
882
00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:07,454
Snow White.
883
00:39:07,478 --> 00:39:08,707
There was a gal.
884
00:39:11,649 --> 00:39:14,461
Not too many like her anymore.
885
00:39:14,485 --> 00:39:17,231
Sweet, pretty...
886
00:39:17,255 --> 00:39:20,668
Whistled while she worked.
887
00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:24,305
Easy, son, the woman's animated.
888
00:39:24,329 --> 00:39:27,993
Yeah, at this point, Dad,
I'd be willing to settle.
889
00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:30,678
What's the matter
with you, Alex?
890
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,112
You don't look too great.
891
00:39:32,136 --> 00:39:34,915
Things, things didn't work
out between me and Lauren.
892
00:39:34,939 --> 00:39:37,084
Alex, I'm so sorry.
893
00:39:37,108 --> 00:39:41,055
You must have worn
the blue sweater.
894
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:43,357
I appreciate your concern, Mal.
895
00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:45,359
This just isn't a fashion issue.
896
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:48,529
You want to go to the
movie with us, Alex?
897
00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:51,665
The popcorn's on me.
898
00:39:51,689 --> 00:39:53,167
Come on along, Alex.
899
00:39:53,191 --> 00:39:55,569
Indulge your Snow
White fantasies.
900
00:39:55,593 --> 00:40:00,541
Yeah, Alex, you could pretend
to be the eighth dwarf... Greedy.
901
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,176
Thanks, anyway, guys.
902
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,912
I'm not really in the mood
for a fairy tale right now.
903
00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:06,247
Anyway, they're replaying
904
00:40:06,271 --> 00:40:07,815
President Reagan's news
conference from this afternoon.
905
00:40:07,839 --> 00:40:10,651
I thought you said you weren't
in the mood for a fairy tale.
906
00:40:10,675 --> 00:40:11,886
- Ah...
- Ah, ha-ha.
907
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:13,454
Just kidding.
908
00:40:13,478 --> 00:40:15,389
Okay, we'll see you later.
- Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.
909
00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:16,590
- Bye.
- Bye.
910
00:40:16,614 --> 00:40:18,726
Hey, wait... Mom, I
thought you were going.
911
00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,728
Well, to tell you the truth,
912
00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:22,429
I'm a little fed up
with Snow White.
913
00:40:22,453 --> 00:40:25,866
I mean, she's just so passive.
914
00:40:25,890 --> 00:40:27,768
You know, lying around
waiting for some prince
915
00:40:27,792 --> 00:40:29,770
to come and give her a kiss.
916
00:40:29,794 --> 00:40:32,640
What kind of role model
is that for women today?
917
00:40:32,664 --> 00:40:34,775
I think she should go
to school, get a degree,
918
00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:36,995
start a business
and hire a prince.
919
00:40:39,704 --> 00:40:42,037
Then she could kiss
him whenever she wants.
920
00:40:42,907 --> 00:40:44,151
- Settle down.
- Oh...
921
00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:46,654
I can't imagine
what's gonna happen
922
00:40:46,678 --> 00:40:49,023
when they rerelease Bambi.
923
00:40:49,047 --> 00:40:50,658
I'm all right. I'm fine.
924
00:40:50,682 --> 00:40:52,793
How are you doing?
925
00:40:52,817 --> 00:40:57,231
- You mean about Lauren?
- Mm-hmm.
926
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:02,770
I don't know, I, I figure
if it was meant to be,
927
00:41:02,794 --> 00:41:04,990
it would have happened by now.
928
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:08,943
I've known you
a long time now...
929
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:11,512
that doesn't mean I
fully understand you;
930
00:41:11,536 --> 00:41:13,981
doesn't mean I
even have a clue...
931
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,649
but I-I-I do know one thing:
932
00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:17,117
You are not the kind of person
933
00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:20,788
who sits around and mopes
and casually takes defeat.
934
00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:25,259
I'm just, I'm trying to look at
it philosophically, you know?
935
00:41:25,283 --> 00:41:29,730
I mean, it's just part
of... part of growing up.
936
00:41:29,754 --> 00:41:33,133
It's part of the
maturing process.
937
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:36,025
Why doesn't she love me?!
938
00:41:38,296 --> 00:41:39,940
I'm not the one to ask, honey.
939
00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:41,842
I love you very much.
940
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:44,778
It's not the same.
941
00:41:44,802 --> 00:41:47,247
I'm well aware of that.
942
00:41:47,271 --> 00:41:49,783
But I have been
thinking, you know?
943
00:41:49,807 --> 00:41:54,355
You really seem to have a
passion for this girl Lauren.
944
00:41:54,379 --> 00:41:58,792
If I were you, I'd-I'd
get the hell over there.
945
00:41:58,816 --> 00:42:00,717
Thanks, Mom.
946
00:42:02,787 --> 00:42:05,222
Tell Lauren your mommy sent you.
947
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:20,814
Alex.
948
00:42:20,838 --> 00:42:22,716
- Hi.
- Hi.
949
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:23,751
You busy?
950
00:42:23,775 --> 00:42:26,220
No. Come on in.
951
00:42:26,244 --> 00:42:29,790
Thanks.
952
00:42:29,814 --> 00:42:31,892
This is a surprise.
953
00:42:31,916 --> 00:42:34,647
Yeah, well, my mommy sent...
954
00:42:41,426 --> 00:42:44,638
Uh, so, this is your place, huh?
955
00:42:44,662 --> 00:42:45,973
Yeah.
956
00:42:45,997 --> 00:42:47,307
It's nice.
957
00:42:47,331 --> 00:42:49,376
It's, uh, it's very nice.
958
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,378
Thank you.
959
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:54,270
This your family?
960
00:43:00,611 --> 00:43:02,790
Alex, those are the Beatles.
961
00:43:02,814 --> 00:43:05,192
You have heard of the
Beatles, haven't you?
962
00:43:05,216 --> 00:43:06,860
Oh, hey, come on.
963
00:43:06,884 --> 00:43:09,063
Just 'cause I'm an overachiever
doesn't mean I'm not hip.
964
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:11,131
No, I've heard of the Beatles.
965
00:43:11,155 --> 00:43:14,216
We should go and see
them play sometime.
966
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,505
Good idea.
967
00:43:18,529 --> 00:43:19,840
Look, Lauren, I don't want
968
00:43:19,864 --> 00:43:22,109
to take up too much
of your time, okay?
969
00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:23,944
I-I just came over
to say something,
970
00:43:23,968 --> 00:43:25,446
and I'm gonna say it.
971
00:43:25,470 --> 00:43:26,713
What is it, Alex?
972
00:43:26,737 --> 00:43:27,948
Lauren...
973
00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:29,668
Yes, Alex?
974
00:43:31,409 --> 00:43:34,655
Do you have the correct
address to send my check to?
975
00:43:34,679 --> 00:43:36,841
Yeah, I've got your check.
976
00:43:37,982 --> 00:43:40,360
Great.
977
00:43:40,384 --> 00:43:43,063
- Well, thanks.
- Uh-huh.
978
00:43:43,087 --> 00:43:44,298
Just, uh...
979
00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:47,267
I guess that's, that's it.
980
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:50,270
Yeah, I guess so.
981
00:43:50,294 --> 00:43:52,473
I mean, I got what
I came for, so...
982
00:43:52,497 --> 00:43:54,363
Yeah.
983
00:43:57,568 --> 00:43:59,313
Well, see ya.
984
00:43:59,337 --> 00:44:02,830
Yeah... Yeah, I'll see ya.
985
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:09,990
Look, Lauren, this check
is not what I came here for.
986
00:44:10,014 --> 00:44:12,074
What's the matter?
You wanted cash?
987
00:44:14,185 --> 00:44:17,331
No, look, I was just thinking
about what you said to me
988
00:44:17,355 --> 00:44:20,434
about, about how I plot
out every aspect of my life,
989
00:44:20,458 --> 00:44:22,536
and all I think about is money.
990
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,438
Alex, I was upset
when I said that.
991
00:44:24,462 --> 00:44:26,397
No, no, you were right.
992
00:44:28,132 --> 00:44:30,077
See, after, after
Ellen and I broke up,
993
00:44:30,101 --> 00:44:31,678
I ju... I just told myself
994
00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:33,881
I wasn't gonna get involved
in any other relationships,
995
00:44:33,905 --> 00:44:37,484
and, um, I'd just concentrate
on school and on career
996
00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:40,876
and on making money,
and I thought I'd be happy.
997
00:44:43,447 --> 00:44:45,575
And then I... met you...
998
00:44:47,084 --> 00:44:49,830
and those things just don't
seem like enough anymore.
999
00:44:49,854 --> 00:44:51,632
They don't?
1000
00:44:51,656 --> 00:44:54,601
I mean, don't get me
wrong; I mean, I love money.
1001
00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:59,306
But you can't come home at
night and cuddle up with money.
1002
00:44:59,330 --> 00:45:01,642
You know, you can't sit down
1003
00:45:01,666 --> 00:45:05,078
and pour your
feelings out to money.
1004
00:45:05,102 --> 00:45:07,347
You can't take a
romantic moonlight walk
1005
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:08,815
on the beach with money.
1006
00:45:08,839 --> 00:45:11,673
God knows I've tried.
1007
00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:18,692
There's just got to be more.
1008
00:45:18,716 --> 00:45:21,562
I just got to have
someone to care about.
1009
00:45:21,586 --> 00:45:24,164
Alex, what are you saying?
1010
00:45:24,188 --> 00:45:26,833
Lauren, uh...
1011
00:45:26,857 --> 00:45:29,169
you know how you
have an image of yourself
1012
00:45:29,193 --> 00:45:30,737
in your mind, you know?
1013
00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:32,639
And that, and that
image is of-of being,
1014
00:45:32,663 --> 00:45:34,007
being the best, you know?
1015
00:45:34,031 --> 00:45:36,643
Being the cleverest, the
happiest person that you can be.
1016
00:45:36,667 --> 00:45:38,111
Uh-huh.
1017
00:45:38,135 --> 00:45:41,648
I just feel like when I'm with
you, I can be that person.
1018
00:45:41,672 --> 00:45:43,750
I make you feel that way?
1019
00:45:43,774 --> 00:45:46,486
Lauren, I can't stop
thinking about you.
1020
00:45:46,510 --> 00:45:49,156
I, I want to be with you.
1021
00:45:49,180 --> 00:45:51,758
I want to hold you.
1022
00:45:51,782 --> 00:45:55,878
I want to open a joint
bank account with you.
1023
00:46:02,827 --> 00:46:04,738
I can't believe it.
1024
00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:06,540
It's true.
1025
00:46:06,564 --> 00:46:09,243
Lauren, I think I'm
falling in love with you.
1026
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:10,577
That I can believe.
1027
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:13,196
It's the part about
the joint bank account.
1028
00:46:15,373 --> 00:46:17,818
Alex, you know when
you said that I was hiding
1029
00:46:17,842 --> 00:46:20,287
in my psych lab, just
making judgments on people?
1030
00:46:20,311 --> 00:46:23,290
You were right. I
have been hiding
1031
00:46:23,314 --> 00:46:25,425
because I was
scared of getting hurt.
1032
00:46:25,449 --> 00:46:29,596
But since you started
coming in, I felt incredibly alive.
1033
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:31,798
Also annoyed,
bothered and frustrated,
1034
00:46:31,822 --> 00:46:33,400
but mostly alive.
1035
00:46:33,424 --> 00:46:35,969
Alive is good!
1036
00:46:35,993 --> 00:46:38,605
Those are good signs.
1037
00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:42,542
But, Alex, you know, maybe
we shouldn't go so fast, though.
1038
00:46:42,566 --> 00:46:44,645
We should probably discuss
1039
00:46:44,669 --> 00:46:46,365
and try to place in
some perspective our...
1040
00:46:49,674 --> 00:46:52,337
What bank do you want
to start the account in?
1041
00:47:01,285 --> 00:47:03,845
I've always been
partial to First Federal.
1042
00:47:05,122 --> 00:47:06,633
Alex, you make me laugh.
1043
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,902
No one's ever made
me laugh like you before.
1044
00:47:08,926 --> 00:47:11,004
Well, you know, if
you've read Freud's jokes
1045
00:47:11,028 --> 00:47:12,406
on the relation of
the unconscious,
1046
00:47:12,430 --> 00:47:15,889
- you'll find that humor is really...
- Uh-huh.
1047
00:47:17,568 --> 00:47:21,315
You know, if you want to make
a million dollars and have a car
1048
00:47:21,339 --> 00:47:25,435
and a boat and a
plane, I can live with that.
1049
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:33,627
Don't forget about
the beach house.
1050
00:47:33,651 --> 00:47:36,382
Actually, a beach
house would be very nice.
1051
00:47:37,955 --> 00:47:40,067
I was hoping you didn't come
by here just to pick up your check.
1052
00:47:40,091 --> 00:47:43,220
Check? I couldn't care
less about that check.
1053
00:48:18,162 --> 00:48:19,973
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.
73292
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