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1
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:14,424
♪ I'll bet We've been together ♪
2
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,561
♪ For a million years ♪
3
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:19,963
♪ And I'll bet
We'll be together ♪
4
00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:23,333
♪ For a million more ♪
5
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,069
♪ Ooh, it's like I
started breathin' ♪
6
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,938
♪ On the night we kissed ♪
7
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:34,311
♪ And I can't remember
What I ever did before ♪
8
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,979
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
9
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,637
♪ Without us? ♪
10
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,019
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
11
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,989
♪ Without us? ♪
12
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,924
♪ And there ain't No nothin' ♪
13
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:51,194
♪ We can't love
Each other through ♪
14
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,264
♪ What would we do, baby ♪
15
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,999
♪ Without us? ♪
16
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,023
♪ Sha-la-la-lahhh ♪
17
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:05,975
What do you say, Alex?
Up for a game of chess?
18
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,910
Uh, I... I don't really
think I want to play, Dad.
19
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,545
Oh.
20
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,982
Well, no offense, but it's just
not much of a challenge for me.
21
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,018
Oh, it doesn't matter who wins.
22
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:18,088
I just thought it would be nice
to spend a little time together.
23
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,856
I'm gonna beat you this time.
24
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,593
Dad, I'm 138 and 0 against you.
25
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,895
Ah, 138, 0 and 1.
26
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,897
You're forgetting that
time we played to a draw.
27
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,200
Dad, I had my
appendix out that day.
28
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:34,037
The anesthetic had worn off.
29
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,638
All right, Dad. Where
do you want to play?
30
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:36,840
Anywhere, Alex, you pick.
31
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,174
Good, let's play
in my room, then.
32
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,510
That way I can nap while
you're thinking of your moves.
33
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:44,113
Well, see? It's bringing
us closer together already.
34
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:47,550
Does anybody need anything
else from the kitchen? It's closing.
35
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,841
I thought the kitchen
stayed open till 10.
36
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,088
Jeff's coming over to tutor me
37
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,557
and we're gonna
be studying in there.
38
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:56,092
Oh, yeah. How is the
French coming, Mal?
39
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,694
Oh, all right, I guess.
40
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,129
Uh-oh. You don't
sound very enthusiastic.
41
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:02,232
Well, it's just that I'm
not getting anywhere.
42
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,801
What do you mean? You've gone
from a C-minus to a B in French
43
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,335
since Jeff's been tutoring you.
44
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:09,505
She meant she's not
getting anywhere with Jeff.
45
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:10,874
Jennifer!
46
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,442
Come on, Mal. It's no
secret how you feel about Jeff.
47
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,811
Not anymore.
48
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,146
M-M-Mallory, where
are your priorities?
49
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:20,950
Now, we hired Jeff to help raise
your grade in French, remember?
50
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,574
We've accomplished that,
Mom. It's time to move on.
51
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,525
You can't force it, Mallory.
52
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,460
Either the chemistry's
there or it's not.
53
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,520
It's just a certain
je ne sais quoi.
54
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:37,600
Where'd you learn that?
55
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,602
Last week when you
were doing your idioms.
56
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:41,204
Were you eavesdropping?
57
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,294
I always do when
you have a boy over.
58
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,710
I can't figure it out.
59
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,445
I think he likes me.
60
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,881
We laugh. We have
a good time together.
61
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,349
But whenever we talk too long
62
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:56,085
about anything other
than French, he freezes up.
63
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,921
Well, Jeff's a
little shy, honey.
64
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,656
Actually, I think it's cute.
65
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,224
Shouldn't he be here by now?
66
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:04,661
I'm usually
eavesdropping by this time.
67
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,964
Yeah, you're right. It's
not like him to be so late.
68
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,200
Jeff!
69
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:13,002
Oh, why are you standing
there? Didn't the doorbell work?
70
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,905
I don't know. I
didn't try it yet.
71
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:19,141
I heard voices inside and
I didn't want to interrupt.
72
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:22,234
You have your work
cut out for you, Mallory.
73
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,421
I don't know.
74
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,058
I'm always having trouble
with these irregular verbs.
75
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,659
You just have to
memorize them, Mallory.
76
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:37,893
It's just like in English.
77
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,930
I am, you are, he or she is.
78
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,432
Well, I know it in English.
79
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,168
See? You've got a
knack for languages.
80
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,437
You've got a really
good sense of humor.
81
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,606
Oh. Oh, sorry.
82
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,140
Getting back to conjugations...
83
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,977
So how'd you get to
be so good in French?
84
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,946
I lived in Paris for
five years as a kid.
85
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:00,182
My parents were really mad.
86
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,585
Actually, my dad was
in the foreign service.
87
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:04,253
Oh, why didn't you
ever tell me that?
88
00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,622
You never asked me.
89
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,357
You're right. When we first met,
90
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:08,991
I should have said:
"Nice to meet you.
91
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:10,893
Was your dad ever
in the foreign service?"
92
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,529
Yes, he was.
93
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:16,288
What do you do when
you're not tutoring me?
94
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,668
I go to school.
95
00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,637
I know. We go to
the same school.
96
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,106
I meant personally.
97
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:28,745
Do you have any sports you
like, any hobbies, any girlfriends?
98
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,480
Yes. What's her name?
99
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:33,115
No. I... I meant
sports. I play hockey.
100
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:36,674
Oh, I love hockey. Maybe we
could play doubles sometime.
101
00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:40,356
Yeah. That'd be great.
102
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,659
How about you? Any hobbies?
103
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,926
Any other sports you like?
104
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,562
Any girlfriends, I
mean, boyfriends?
105
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,197
No.
106
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,699
Great.
107
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,701
I mean, I'm surprised.
108
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:55,560
A girl like you, no
hobbies? No boyfriend?
109
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,842
So neither of us has
any sports or hobbies
110
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:02,579
or boyfriend... Girlfriend.
111
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,746
Except for hockey.
112
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,948
Right.
113
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,052
Well, I guess that's
about enough for today.
114
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:12,043
Oh, it is? I was hoping
we could go further.
115
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:14,957
I'll just go out the back.
116
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,692
That way, I won't
bother anybody.
117
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,828
So I guess I'll
see you tomorrow.
118
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:19,995
I guess you will.
119
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,354
Au revoir. Au revoir.
120
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,748
Oh, Jeff's gone already?
121
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:39,949
Yeah.
122
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,918
So, Mallory, what happened?
123
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:44,620
There was some
stuff I couldn't hear.
124
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:46,856
Nothing happened.
125
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,625
Just when he starts to let
down his guard and break the ice,
126
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,460
he freezes up again.
127
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:52,996
Why don't you just
throw yourself at him
128
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,464
and get it over with?
129
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:59,268
Jennifer, would you stay
out of my personal life?
130
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,659
I'm trying to make
sure you have one.
131
00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:04,974
Honey, girls don't
have to be afraid
132
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,676
of letting boys know
how they feel now.
133
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,478
The... These are the 1980s.
134
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,880
What did girls do back
then when you were a kid?
135
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,015
Back in the 1880s?
136
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,586
Actually, it wasn't all that
easy for us when I was a girl.
137
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,888
I... I mean, if... If you
were interested in a boy,
138
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,091
sometimes you just had to
wait until they asked you out.
139
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,459
What if he never asked?
140
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:24,860
Then you called your girlfriend
141
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,930
and you set each other's hair.
142
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,332
You mean, if you liked the
boy and he never asked you out
143
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,567
there was nothing you
could do about it, right?
144
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:34,570
Oh, yeah, there were some
silly, scheming things that...
145
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:37,240
That some other girls used
to do to attract guys' attention.
146
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,242
Like what?
147
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,877
Oh, you know,
stupid things like, uh,
148
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,780
you could ask a
friend to call his friend,
149
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:47,149
or you write your
name in his notebook,
150
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,419
or maybe put your
picture in his locker.
151
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,087
Or if you really liked the guy,
152
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:55,613
you'd try to get your parents to
buy the house next door to his.
153
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:59,095
Tell me, Mom, did
you write your name
154
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:02,698
on the inside of the
notebook or on the cover?
155
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,533
Well, you know
what I used to do...
156
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,068
Yeah?
157
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,971
Mallory, you... you... You
are... You're missing the point.
158
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,573
Things are much simpler now.
159
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,409
And... And if you're
really interested in Jeff,
160
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,709
then you should
just ask him out.
161
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,045
I guess you're right.
162
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,151
Sorry to bother
you. I forgot my book.
163
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,720
I could come back for it another
time if it's more convenient.
164
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:27,011
Jeff, come on in.
165
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,384
Mallory has
something to ask you.
166
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:39,769
Uh, yeah.
167
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,193
Do you know if the house
next to yours is up for sale?
168
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,477
Are you gonna make a
move here, Dad, or what?
169
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,814
Don't rush me, Alex.
These things take time.
170
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,816
It's been a day and a half, Dad.
171
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,741
I think you could at least
make your opening move.
172
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,823
The opening move
173
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,126
is perhaps the most
important of the game, Alex.
174
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,929
It... It... It... It sets the
tone for the entire contest.
175
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,064
Well, whenever you're ready.
176
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:12,657
But, uh, remember, I leave
for college in September.
177
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,838
Okay.
178
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,128
Okay.
179
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,904
I'll wait here while
you're mulling the...
180
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,157
Bonjour, Jeff.
181
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,324
Bonjour, Mallory.
182
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,059
Hi, Jeff. Hello.
183
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:40,463
Hi. I guess we'd better
leave you two alone to study
184
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:43,332
and whatever else
comes to your mind.
185
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,467
Oh, Jennifer!
186
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,602
Well, I hate to kick you
out of your living room.
187
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:49,172
Don't worry about it.
We could use it anytime.
188
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,561
Come on, Alex and Dad.
189
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,464
Huh...? Oh.
190
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,711
So come on in.
191
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:57,179
Thank you. Uh,
192
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,982
can I get you anything?
Something cold to drink?
193
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,784
That'd be nice, if it's
not too much trouble.
194
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:04,876
Oh, no trouble at all. Uh,
make yourself at home.
195
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,060
My dad forgot his book.
196
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,963
Uh, Alex, can...? Can
I ask you something?
197
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,932
I was wondering if
your sister Mallory...
198
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,767
She likes you, Jeff.
199
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:21,003
Sh-she does?
Th-that... That's great.
200
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:24,339
So, what are you waiting
for? Why don't you ask her out?
201
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:25,775
I'm afraid. What if she says no?
202
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:26,842
She won't.
203
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:28,399
What if she says yes?
204
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,283
Uh, then you go out with her.
205
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,452
That's even scarier.
206
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:38,120
What if she doesn't like me?
207
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,789
Jeff, I already told
you, she likes you.
208
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,357
Yeah, she likes me as a tutor,
209
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,158
but what if she doesn't
like me as a date?
210
00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:46,084
How are you gonna
know unless you go out?
211
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,097
Here's some juice, Jeff.
212
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,567
I squeezed the oranges myself.
213
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:51,968
You know what?
214
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:55,037
That is a very nice thing
to do for someone, Mallory.
215
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,106
I'm sure he appreciates it.
216
00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,231
Yeah, I really do. May I
squeeze something for you?
217
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:09,252
I mean, thank you very much.
218
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,710
Well, uh, my work here is done.
219
00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:18,427
Mallory, before I drink this, I
have to ask you something.
220
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,730
There are no pits in it.
221
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,698
That's great, but that's
not what I wanted to ask.
222
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,567
Wait. There's something
I have to ask you first.
223
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:25,568
Will you go out with me?
224
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,869
No. Will you go out with me?
225
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:29,271
Yes. Great.
226
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,006
Uh, there's something
else I have to ask you.
227
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,575
What? Why did you just say no
228
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,110
when I asked you
to go out with me?
229
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,446
Did I say no? I meant yes.
230
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,713
Great.
231
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,348
Mallory, when you said yes...?
232
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,383
I meant yes.
233
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,773
It's about time.
234
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,657
Alex, do you mind?
235
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,472
Sorry, Dad. I didn't realize.
236
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,374
I was kind of caught
up in this article.
237
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:07,409
That's another thing. I
may not be Boris Spassky,
238
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:08,745
but I think you owe
me the courtesy
239
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,880
of at least looking at the
board from time to time,
240
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,381
even though it is my move.
241
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,383
Dad, it's been your move
for an hour and a half.
242
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,551
Well, I'm ready now.
243
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,575
Well, good.
244
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,080
Whoo!
245
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,263
Alex.
246
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,753
Oh, sorry, Dad.
247
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:35,526
Well, Alex, let's see you, uh,
worm your way out of that one.
248
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,533
Ah...
249
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,970
Didn't see that.
250
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,718
Um...
251
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,686
uh...
252
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,721
well, uh...
253
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,256
listen, I'm, uh...
254
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,325
I'll go study this someplace
where it's a little more quiet.
255
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,227
I don't know how anybody's
supposed to play chess
256
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,091
with all that racket going on.
257
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,500
Come on in.
258
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,235
Hello, Alex.
259
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,603
Hi, Jeff.
260
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,472
You're a little early for
your date, aren't you?
261
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,374
Yeah. Yeah, I am early.
262
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,542
I was hoping to
find you here alone.
263
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,611
You've got to talk to
Mallory for me, Alex.
264
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,080
I can't go through with
it. I can't go on the date.
265
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,581
Jeff, you'll be fine.
266
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,284
I won't be fine.
I'm too nervous.
267
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,787
I've gone over this date in
my mind a hundred times.
268
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:28,324
There were only four times
when I didn't spill something.
269
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,293
You'll be all right. Just, uh,
270
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,862
don't order anything to drink.
271
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,531
Alex, the problem is
more pervasive than that.
272
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,567
I should not be going
out with Mallory Keaton.
273
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,703
She's beautiful. She's graceful.
274
00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:43,972
She looks gorgeous in a dress.
275
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:46,397
All the things I'm not.
276
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:50,613
Let's be thankful
for some of that, Jeff.
277
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:53,849
I can't go through with it,
Alex. Just tell her I'm sorry.
278
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:55,450
Hey, wait. I'm
not telling her that.
279
00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:57,586
I mean, she's getting ready.
280
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,055
You're here. You
should go out on the date.
281
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:01,724
How?
282
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:04,293
You... Haven't you even
been on a date before?
283
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:07,263
Sure. I went out with
Betty Bronson last week.
284
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,697
Sounds good.
285
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,555
Betty's my cousin.
286
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:12,735
Okay, okay. It's not ideal,
287
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:16,005
but, uh, the same
basic rules apply.
288
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:19,308
Just follow this advice, you're
guaranteed success on a date.
289
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,409
Really?
290
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,543
Really.
291
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,712
You see, luckily,
292
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:26,370
all women are exactly the same.
293
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,519
They are?
294
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,920
Sure. See, I...
295
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:35,057
I know you read a lot today
in magazines and newspapers
296
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,127
about, uh, "the new woman"
297
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:41,597
and, uh, independence,
assertiveness.
298
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:44,521
Well, it... It's
simply not true.
299
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,735
It's not?
300
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:47,870
No.
301
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,860
Surprised, huh?
302
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:52,174
A little.
303
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:56,378
See, all you have to do,
to insure success on a date,
304
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,948
is to assume total command
305
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:03,052
from the minute
the female appears.
306
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:07,489
See, you are the man.
307
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,491
You're in control.
308
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,962
You make that moment.
309
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,397
Okay, Alex, I'll do
it. On one condition.
310
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:18,255
What? You've got to come too.
311
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,537
A guy, a girl and her brother
312
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:24,240
are... Are not what we're
shooting for here, Jeff.
313
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,941
I need you there, Alex.
314
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,042
You don't have to sit with us,
315
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:28,644
just be somewhere
in the restaurant.
316
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,847
That way, if I run into
trouble, I can come to you.
317
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,882
I don't know. It's gonna
look pretty silly, isn't it?
318
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,952
I... I mean, me sitting
at a table by myself?
319
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,353
Bring a date.
320
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,537
You can get a date on
short notice, can't you?
321
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,313
Me?
322
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,026
Of course.
323
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,327
Well, okay, then.
324
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,850
Okay.
325
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,240
Hi, Regina?
326
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,497
Yeah, it's me, your cousin Alex.
327
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,973
Will you hurry up, please?
328
00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:19,061
I'm here, I'm here.
Where are we gonna sit?
329
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:22,331
I don't know. The, uh,
maitre d' will seat us.
330
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:25,734
Okay, but don't let him put us
near the kitchen like last time.
331
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,003
Hey, that wasn't my fault.
332
00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:31,373
Why do we have to fight
every time we go out?
333
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,509
Good evening, sir.
334
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,813
Table for two?
335
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,601
Something romantic.
336
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,253
She's my sister.
337
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,557
Oh.
338
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:52,194
Hey, what are they doing here?
339
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:56,331
Hey. Look at that. Small world.
340
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,488
Excuse me for a second.
341
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,140
Alex, what took you so long?
342
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,808
I've been trying to
stall till you got here.
343
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:09,945
Well, it took me a while to,
uh, convince Jennifer to come.
344
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,749
I'm here for the pizza
not the company.
345
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:16,151
How's it going so far?
346
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:17,553
Terrible.
347
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,054
Well, what's wrong?
348
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:22,057
We've been talking about the
weather for the last 20 minutes.
349
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,859
And that's been the highlight.
350
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,762
Okay, okay. I'm here.
351
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,831
Everything is under control.
352
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,099
Uh, have you ordered yet?
353
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,200
Not yet.
354
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:34,302
This is good. Okay.
355
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,371
First thing you do,
order for both of you.
356
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,408
Don't even ask her what
she wants. Just order.
357
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:44,346
And, uh, when the waiter
comes, insult him. It'll impress her.
358
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,981
Are you sure?
359
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,438
I'm sure.
360
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,058
That's them, all right.
361
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,493
What are they doing here?
362
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,397
Oh, just out for a
good time, I guess.
363
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,598
Are you ready to order?
364
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:03,666
Yes, I think I'll have...
365
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,501
Uh, she'll have the
veal parmigiana.
366
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,070
In fact, we'll both have
the veal. Veal for two.
367
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,661
And step on it. Not the veal
368
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,642
Something to drink?
369
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,743
Um, a root beer, please.
370
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,166
Ginger ale. Two.
371
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,183
Jeff, that was incredibly rude,
372
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,586
not to mention the fact
I wanted a root beer.
373
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:26,956
You didn't like it? No.
374
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,445
Excuse me.
375
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:34,352
Alex? We're getting the pizza
with bologna and that's final.
376
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,455
Okay, okay, Jennifer.
Don't make a scene.
377
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,636
Alex, it's not working out.
378
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,105
Why? What's wrong?
379
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,507
I insulted the waiter.
380
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,542
I ordered for the two
of us just like you said.
381
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,144
And? She didn't like it.
382
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:54,105
She liked it. Jeff, believe
me, underneath, she liked it.
383
00:17:56,142 --> 00:18:00,889
Alex, I can't be like you.
Suave and cool. That's not me.
384
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,213
That's not Alex either.
385
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,363
Just go back to the
table and start flattering.
386
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:12,101
Tell her that, uh, her hair
is like fine-spun silk corn,
387
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:17,406
that, uh, her eyes are... Are
like shimmering pools of beauty.
388
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,641
I'm going to be sick.
389
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,633
All right. I'll try that.
390
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,786
Jeff, why do you keep
going over to Alex?
391
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:34,779
Mallory, your eyes are like
shimmering pools of corn.
392
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,482
What?
393
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,701
I wanted a root
beer, not a ginger ale.
394
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,070
Just trust me, I
know what's good...
395
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,971
And I don't want this.
Jeff, I don't want the veal.
396
00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:51,028
You'll like it.
397
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,209
It's okay. Yeah.
398
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:55,510
Let me get that.
399
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,635
It's still edible. It
didn't hit the floor...
400
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,705
Jeff.
401
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,794
Okay.
402
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,462
Okay.
403
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,331
Now I see what he's been
doing. Very clever, really.
404
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:21,303
You see, Alex has been using
the Nimzovich Defense, Elyse.
405
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,139
But it's easily countered
with the Sicilian variation
406
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,208
of the King's Gambit Declined.
407
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,112
Don't you think Alex knows that?
408
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,379
Knows what?
409
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:33,314
Well, I... I mean,
i-isn't it possible
410
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,316
that the King's Gambit Declined
411
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,419
is exactly what Alex
expects you to do?
412
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,144
I... I mean, after
all, it... It's his book.
413
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,515
The fiend.
414
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,966
Hi, Mallory. How was your date?
415
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,167
It's fine.
416
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,031
You're home early, aren't you?
417
00:19:55,795 --> 00:20:00,075
Something tells me she
and Jeff didn't get engaged.
418
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,815
Wha...? Jeff.
Hello, Mrs. Keaton.
419
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,384
Can I come in? Yeah,
of course, come on in.
420
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:10,785
What happened?
421
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:12,487
I'm not sure, exactly.
422
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,356
When Mallory left,
she was really upset.
423
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,358
I was hoping she
was feeling better now.
424
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,960
What went wrong?
425
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,029
I don't know. We
were at the restaurant,
426
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,897
we couldn't think of
anything to talk about,
427
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,798
I ordered something for
her that she didn't want,
428
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:25,167
I insulted the waiter,
429
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:28,070
I spilled drinks, food,
I ruined her dress.
430
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,494
The next thing I
know, she was gone.
431
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:34,776
Sounds like you did
all the right things.
432
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,746
I wanted so badly for
this to be a special night.
433
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,649
I even got Alex to come to
the restaurant to help me.
434
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,152
Ah-ha. Now we're
getting somewhere.
435
00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:45,787
Why did you ask Alex to help?
436
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:49,691
Well, you know, I'm not real
good with women, and Alex is.
437
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:52,060
Who told you that?
438
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,862
Alex.
439
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:56,698
He said that Mallory would
like me if I were more like him.
440
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:58,422
Now I know why she ran out.
441
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:02,571
Alex, it didn't work.
442
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,906
Everything you
told me was wrong.
443
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:08,543
Always assume that's
the case with Alex.
444
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,212
All right, maybe I was wrong.
445
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:13,649
I gave you some advice
and... And it didn't work out.
446
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,651
I didn't charge
you for it, did I?
447
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:17,619
Uh, it... It's not like
you're out any money.
448
00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:18,920
Ah.
449
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,445
That's the important thing.
450
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:24,493
Oh, hi. Hi.
451
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:27,863
I don't suppose you
want to talk, do you?
452
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,297
I want you to explain to me
453
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:32,789
why you acted like
Alex instead of you.
454
00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:36,504
Why don't we leave
these two alone to talk?
455
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:38,206
Good idea.
456
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:39,864
Jeff, if you want my advice...
457
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:44,768
Whatever you do, don't
apologize. You're the man.
458
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,651
Mallory, I'm sorry.
459
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:52,487
For the rudeness
or for the spilling
460
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:54,556
or for the general
boorish manner?
461
00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:58,327
I don't know. What
offended you the most?
462
00:21:58,351 --> 00:21:59,895
Why were you
acting like that, Jeff?
463
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,697
That's not like you at all.
464
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,532
I thought you wanted
me to be tough
465
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,567
and in control and in command.
466
00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,369
I thought you'd
like that in a guy.
467
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:11,607
I like that in an
airline pilot, not a date.
468
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:14,209
And I don't want
you to be like that.
469
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:16,845
Okay. I'll be however
you want me to be.
470
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:18,279
You don't like
tough and boorish?
471
00:22:18,303 --> 00:22:19,381
I can be something else.
472
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,416
Jeff, don't you realize?
473
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,219
I went out with you
because I like you.
474
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,854
You're the guy I
wanted to be with.
475
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:26,955
Really?
476
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,312
Yes.
477
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,293
But, Mallory, I...
478
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,662
I'm clumsy. I'm awkward.
479
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,832
I can't help it. I like you.
480
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,401
Do you think you still might
be able to like me after tonight?
481
00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:41,302
Je ne sais.
482
00:22:41,326 --> 00:22:43,538
But I'm willing
to give it a try.
483
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:44,807
Je ne sais pas.
484
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:46,141
You forgot the pas.
485
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:48,143
You see, with... With the
negative, you have to put...
486
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:49,277
Jeff? What?
487
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:50,968
Shut up.
488
00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:03,425
Want to give up, Dad?
489
00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:05,382
Give up? Are you kidding?
490
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:09,464
Dad, can't we go
to bed? I'm tired.
491
00:23:09,488 --> 00:23:10,866
I hate to put a
damper on this, honey,
492
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,301
but the kids do have to
go to school tomorrow.
493
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,437
Or is that today?
494
00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:17,372
Come on, Dad, I'm
tired of this game.
495
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,841
You're just prolonging
your own agony,
496
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:22,144
not to mention the
agony of your family.
497
00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:26,448
All right, Alex. Knight
to queen, Knight 6.
498
00:23:26,472 --> 00:23:27,472
Checkmate.
499
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:34,645
Yeah. Look for yourself. I won.
33979
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