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1
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Subtitles: swsub.com (1.07)
2
00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,277
Which means, which means...
3
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,761
a profit so far this year of...
4
00:00:39,933 --> 00:00:42,926
- 1 800 billion billions.
- Splendid!
5
00:00:43,074 --> 00:00:45,172
This doesn't even include
the added revenue
6
00:00:45,328 --> 00:00:46,972
arising for your take over of ITV!
7
00:00:47,262 --> 00:00:49,981
ITV? I'd forgotten about ITV.
Brilliant!
8
00:00:50,501 --> 00:00:53,496
Gentleman, when I first started
Reynholm Industries,
9
00:00:53,810 --> 00:00:55,688
I had just two things
in my possession:
10
00:00:56,281 --> 00:00:58,470
a dream and 6 million pounds.
11
00:01:00,246 --> 00:01:02,838
Today, I have a business empire,
the like of which...
12
00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:05,287
the world has never seen
the like of which.
13
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,094
Hope it doesn't sound arrogant
when I say...
14
00:01:08,349 --> 00:01:11,635
that I am the greatest man
in the world!
15
00:01:13,727 --> 00:01:15,793
Gentleman, to the future.
16
00:01:17,282 --> 00:01:19,564
Oh, you don't have any glasses.
Just pretend.
17
00:01:20,068 --> 00:01:22,101
- To the future!
- To the future!
18
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:26,211
Sorry to interrupt
but there are some policemen here,
19
00:01:26,611 --> 00:01:28,144
they say they need to speak to you
20
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,479
about irregularities
in the pension fund.
21
00:01:31,027 --> 00:01:33,464
I see. Could you make me a cup of tea,
please, Stephanie?
22
00:01:50,288 --> 00:01:52,380
Earlier that day... (del VO)
23
00:01:53,186 --> 00:01:54,210
Nice.
24
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,745
- Isn't she a beauty?
- It's certainly a phone.
25
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,837
160 PPI screen.
26
00:02:00,977 --> 00:02:03,570
- Wi-Fi enables...
- Ask me what kind of phone I've got.
27
00:02:03,898 --> 00:02:06,856
- What kind of phone have you got?
- It doesn't matter.
28
00:02:08,112 --> 00:02:10,761
Voice recognition.
So let's say I wanted to call my mum,
29
00:02:10,966 --> 00:02:12,940
I just have to say "mum",
and it calls her.
30
00:02:13,109 --> 00:02:15,677
I don't need to do anything.
It's the dog�s bollocks.
31
00:02:16,692 --> 00:02:18,279
Mum, mum, no...
32
00:02:18,454 --> 00:02:20,557
No, I'm sorry.
No, Moss said that.
33
00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:23,399
Yeah, okay, I'll call you later, bye.
34
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:27,340
Only problem with it is that it's got
a very weedy vibrate setting.
35
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,753
I mean, watch this.
36
00:02:33,615 --> 00:02:34,926
I mean, what is that?
37
00:02:35,099 --> 00:02:36,819
- I'll sort it out.
- Oh, could you?
38
00:02:36,966 --> 00:02:39,208
Just you know, welly up
the vibrator a bit.
39
00:02:39,348 --> 00:02:41,849
Okay, all right.
Now, will you answer this question?
40
00:02:42,042 --> 00:02:43,220
Are we still on this?
41
00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:45,726
You keep interrupting!
We would've been done ages ago,
42
00:02:45,906 --> 00:02:47,606
- but you...
- All right, go on.
43
00:02:47,806 --> 00:02:50,630
Question 39.
When was the last time you exercise?
44
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,501
The last time I exercised was never.
45
00:02:55,817 --> 00:02:59,305
I'm still reeling
from your answer to question 12.
46
00:02:59,506 --> 00:03:00,764
What was question 12?
47
00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:03,214
You brush your teeth in the bath.
48
00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:06,798
- So?
- That's where your balls are.
49
00:03:08,665 --> 00:03:10,310
Okay, question 40.
50
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:12,088
Do you get your five fruit and veg?
51
00:03:13,218 --> 00:03:15,910
I mean, I certainly try to...
I would say I probably do.
52
00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:18,484
- A day.
- A what?
53
00:03:20,465 --> 00:03:22,031
You're going to love this.
54
00:03:22,176 --> 00:03:24,542
This website takes
all the information you gave me
55
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:25,882
and guess what it does?
56
00:03:26,121 --> 00:03:28,463
It actually estimates
the date of your death!
57
00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:30,544
- What?
- I know.
58
00:03:30,684 --> 00:03:32,947
- Unbelievable, isn't it?
- What? Wait a second.
59
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,861
I know about those!
Everyone knows about those!
60
00:03:36,001 --> 00:03:39,157
All right, so you've already done it.
So, when's the big day?
61
00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:42,920
I haven't done it!
Why would I want to do it?
62
00:03:43,062 --> 00:03:46,150
- I get March 2nd 2079.
- Oh, my God!
63
00:03:46,314 --> 00:03:48,185
That's right, baby!
I've got 70 more years!
64
00:03:48,331 --> 00:03:50,416
Okay, Moss, close that window!
65
00:03:50,556 --> 00:03:53,242
- I do not wanna know!
- But I've written it all in now.
66
00:03:53,637 --> 00:03:55,688
I do not wanna know
the date of my death.
67
00:03:56,118 --> 00:03:57,301
Close it.
68
00:03:58,557 --> 00:04:00,492
Hello, IT, have you tried
turning it off and...
69
00:04:00,647 --> 00:04:02,292
You know, I'm sick of saying that.
70
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:03,850
What do you want?
71
00:04:04,815 --> 00:04:06,825
Okay, yeah, someone
will be up in a minute.
72
00:04:07,317 --> 00:04:08,439
Maybe.
73
00:04:21,101 --> 00:04:22,798
You looked!
74
00:04:23,579 --> 00:04:24,851
You know!
75
00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:26,870
You know when I'm going to die!
76
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,027
I do, yes.
77
00:04:28,743 --> 00:04:31,636
- I told you not to look!
- I made a mistake.
78
00:04:38,418 --> 00:04:39,423
When is it?
79
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,569
- You don't wanna know.
- You can't say that to me now!
80
00:04:44,142 --> 00:04:46,811
My advice, Roy,
is to forget all about this.
81
00:04:47,599 --> 00:04:50,134
What, how long more
they've given me, 20 years?
82
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,685
It's less than twenty?
83
00:04:54,077 --> 00:04:56,622
You see, I don't think
this is taking into account leap years.
84
00:04:56,762 --> 00:04:59,844
So that could well be
something to hang on to.
85
00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:01,956
What does it say, Moss?
86
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,797
Does it say I'm already dead?
87
00:05:04,744 --> 00:05:07,052
- No, that would be terrible.
- Thank God.
88
00:05:07,337 --> 00:05:09,013
- It's Thursday.
- What?
89
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,543
- It's Thursday.
- Thursday?
90
00:05:12,685 --> 00:05:14,920
Again, remember, leap years.
91
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,628
It's Thursday!
92
00:05:19,203 --> 00:05:20,746
Thursday the 3rd!
93
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:23,933
Although, not too late after noon,
so that gives you most of the day.
94
00:05:24,088 --> 00:05:25,591
What? 3 p.m.!
95
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:29,116
- How could they be that specific?
- Yeah, it's silly.
96
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:34,090
These things are, at best,
79% accurate.
97
00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:36,017
Oh, good.
98
00:05:36,366 --> 00:05:39,070
I would take no further notice of it.
99
00:05:40,729 --> 00:05:42,346
Yeah, you're right, it's silly.
100
00:05:42,486 --> 00:05:44,644
I will take no further notice of it.
101
00:05:45,717 --> 00:05:49,614
Apparently, there's something wrong with
all the computers on 7th. Who wants it?
102
00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:54,681
You look terrible. Are you ill?
103
00:05:56,299 --> 00:05:57,455
I don't know.
104
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,775
These idiots disabled
the flipping firewall!
105
00:06:05,405 --> 00:06:07,249
Yeah, hello, excuse me.
106
00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:10,075
Thank you, some attention please.
107
00:06:10,215 --> 00:06:12,104
I know you don't think it's "important"
108
00:06:12,244 --> 00:06:14,938
or "cool" but there is
a ruddy good reason
109
00:06:15,078 --> 00:06:17,839
why we put up anti-virus software
and firewalls.
110
00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:21,041
It's because there are
a lot of dangerous things out there.
111
00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:22,421
Jesus!
112
00:06:23,188 --> 00:06:24,745
You know, calm down.
113
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,460
Just don't disable the firewalls.
114
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,535
Okay, 73', that's good, that's good.
115
00:06:30,763 --> 00:06:34,181
And mum,
what age did Uncle Tony die?
116
00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:37,032
32?
117
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,257
It was a car accident?
Brilliant!
118
00:06:40,397 --> 00:06:42,684
Okay, no, I completely forgot... Okay.
119
00:06:42,929 --> 00:06:44,117
Mum, I have to go.
120
00:06:44,473 --> 00:06:47,634
Unbelievable,
some brainiac disabled his firewall
121
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:51,199
which means that all the computers
on floor 7 are teeming with viruses.
122
00:06:51,339 --> 00:06:54,351
Plus, I've just had to walk all the way
down the mother fudging stairs
123
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,921
because the lift is broken, again.
124
00:06:57,622 --> 00:06:58,630
Oh, my God.
125
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:00,570
- What?
- Oh, my God.
126
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:01,807
What? What it is?
127
00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:04,168
Denholm is dead.
128
00:07:04,498 --> 00:07:05,973
Oh, yes, and Denholm is dead.
129
00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,670
Okay, everyone ready?
130
00:07:14,743 --> 00:07:17,254
You look great.
We should go to more funerals.
131
00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:20,143
Yeah, except, is there any chance
I could...
132
00:07:20,429 --> 00:07:22,598
- not go to this one?
- No, why?
133
00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:25,483
It's just, you know, funerals.
134
00:07:26,143 --> 00:07:27,481
So morbid.
135
00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:30,114
Would you please forget
this website nonsense?
136
00:07:30,254 --> 00:07:32,022
You are not going to die.
137
00:07:32,224 --> 00:07:34,723
Come on, cheer up!
You're gonna ruin the funeral.
138
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,244
Yeah, you're right.
Pay no attention to me.
139
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,956
I'm being an idiot.
140
00:07:40,229 --> 00:07:41,567
Dead man walking!
141
00:07:45,368 --> 00:07:46,602
Very funny.
142
00:07:47,024 --> 00:07:48,958
You crazy little bastard!
143
00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:52,230
When did you last exercise, Jen?
144
00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:54,454
No, you are not going to do it to me.
145
00:07:54,730 --> 00:07:56,224
- Scared?
- No.
146
00:07:56,414 --> 00:07:58,588
I happen to think
I have a good few years left.
147
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,535
I take plenty of exercise
and I haven't smoked for 3 years.
148
00:08:01,743 --> 00:08:03,372
I didn't know you smoked.
149
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,193
I was on 40 a day by the end.
150
00:08:05,348 --> 00:08:08,269
40 a day, that's 146 002 a decade.
151
00:08:08,409 --> 00:08:11,222
Presuming at least two leap years.
How the flip do you give up?
152
00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:14,059
Basically, pure self-control, Moss.
153
00:08:14,269 --> 00:08:16,142
No, I'd never smoke again.
154
00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:19,256
I'd rather lick a tramp.
Derek, Hello.
155
00:08:21,189 --> 00:08:22,485
Hello, Jen.
156
00:08:22,784 --> 00:08:25,050
Thanks for printing out
those funeral announcements.
157
00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:27,131
Oh, no, I enjoyed doing it.
158
00:08:30,539 --> 00:08:33,365
You know, in a sad way.
159
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,703
- Can I have a word, please?
- Sure.
160
00:08:39,577 --> 00:08:40,978
Hey, oh, my phone.
161
00:08:41,118 --> 00:08:42,919
Oh cool, have you souped up?
162
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:46,571
Yeah, I totally pimped your phone,
girlfriend.
163
00:08:55,937 --> 00:08:57,293
What set are you setting?
164
00:08:57,914 --> 00:09:00,491
That is the lowest setting.
165
00:09:01,576 --> 00:09:04,487
It shall come as no surprise to you
that I don't like this department.
166
00:09:04,637 --> 00:09:06,045
Never have, never will.
167
00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:08,158
I see no need for an IT department,
168
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:11,158
I would much rather use this basement
for something important.
169
00:09:11,298 --> 00:09:13,071
Like a big toilet!
170
00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:17,535
I have to say that actually,
it's a bit of a surprise.
171
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:20,658
- Really? I did send out a memo.
- I didn't get it.
172
00:09:20,845 --> 00:09:23,368
- I had no idea you felt like this.
- Well, I do.
173
00:09:24,199 --> 00:09:26,907
However, I am prepared to give you
another chance.
174
00:09:27,047 --> 00:09:29,797
Another chance? But I didn't know
we'd already had a chance.
175
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,880
This should be the first chance.
You should give us this chance.
176
00:09:33,065 --> 00:09:34,524
And then, another chance.
177
00:09:45,035 --> 00:09:46,895
OK, I'll get it! Give me a go!
178
00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:49,856
I got to put it up to 5.
179
00:09:50,749 --> 00:09:52,395
I'm gonna put it in my pocket!
180
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,121
Put it up to 8!
Put it up to 8!
181
00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:03,168
I'm not gonna put it up to 8, Moss!
It'll blow my cock off.
182
00:10:04,733 --> 00:10:07,150
- Come on, come on. Put it up!
- Okay, I'll put it up.
183
00:10:09,614 --> 00:10:13,646
You do know
we are burying a great man today!
184
00:10:15,774 --> 00:10:17,154
Did someone else die?
185
00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:20,790
I mean Mr. Reynholm!
186
00:10:24,155 --> 00:10:25,548
"Did someone else die?"
187
00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:26,865
Oh, I didn't know.
188
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,510
You have to be careful,
he's our new boss.
189
00:10:29,799 --> 00:10:32,013
He hates us, he keeps saying
that there's no need
190
00:10:32,239 --> 00:10:34,976
- for an IT department.
- Why didn't anyone tell me this?
191
00:10:35,290 --> 00:10:36,878
There was a memo.
It just said:
192
00:10:37,029 --> 00:10:38,728
"I hate the IT Department."
193
00:10:43,526 --> 00:10:45,882
You are not coming to the funeral,
Richmond!
194
00:10:46,527 --> 00:10:47,588
What funeral?
195
00:11:08,359 --> 00:11:11,406
- Has anyone got the right time?
- It's twenty to three.
196
00:11:11,649 --> 00:11:13,142
I'll make it a quarter to.
197
00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:17,293
Why? Yes! Because that website said
you were going to die at 3pm, didn't it?
198
00:11:17,453 --> 00:11:20,619
- Did it? I can't remember.
- How could you forget?
199
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,309
It clearly stated that
you were going to die, today.
200
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:26,177
At precisely 3:00.
Unless, it was tomorrow.
201
00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:29,106
But no, it's today, at 3:00.
202
00:11:29,246 --> 00:11:31,232
Well, would you put it
out of your mind?
203
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,279
Right, you're right, out of my mind.
204
00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:53,301
Okay, there's Denholm's wife.
205
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,345
I never know what to say
to people at funeral.
206
00:11:57,487 --> 00:11:59,009
Neither do I. I'm terrible.
207
00:11:59,165 --> 00:12:01,911
Oh, just say "I'm sorry for your lost",
then move on.
208
00:12:04,297 --> 00:12:06,275
- He'll be in our prayers.
- Thank you.
209
00:12:08,506 --> 00:12:10,210
- Sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
210
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:11,384
Move on.
211
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:17,343
- Sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
212
00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:20,507
It's not like you've lost a pen, is it?
213
00:12:20,687 --> 00:12:22,912
It's so much worse.
214
00:12:25,107 --> 00:12:26,412
Would you like a pen?
215
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,643
- I have this spare one.
- Oh, no, thank you.
216
00:12:29,127 --> 00:12:32,131
- Please, take it.
- Why are you giving it to me?
217
00:12:32,958 --> 00:12:34,056
I don't know.
218
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:38,475
Swings and roundabouts!
219
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:49,940
Death!
220
00:12:51,619 --> 00:12:53,121
Death is coming!
221
00:12:54,097 --> 00:12:55,346
Death is here...
222
00:12:56,431 --> 00:12:57,595
Death is outside...
223
00:12:58,315 --> 00:12:59,582
There's no escape.
224
00:13:00,428 --> 00:13:02,503
I don't like the way
Derek's looking at us.
225
00:13:07,004 --> 00:13:08,741
Who's that knocking at the door?
226
00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:10,858
Yes...
227
00:13:11,393 --> 00:13:13,120
It's death! Yet it'd be.
228
00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:14,791
Is this normal?
229
00:13:14,954 --> 00:13:18,062
Death came for Denholm
just as it will come for you.
230
00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:20,824
Who will be next?
231
00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:22,932
You?
232
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:24,870
Maybe you...
233
00:13:27,211 --> 00:13:30,323
- We are gathered here to...
- What's wrong with you?
234
00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:32,916
- ...past of a great man.
- Nothing.
235
00:13:34,455 --> 00:13:35,455
A man...
236
00:13:36,088 --> 00:13:37,288
...like us.
237
00:13:39,977 --> 00:13:43,218
I've never seen a grand-father clock
in a church before.
238
00:13:43,471 --> 00:13:45,133
Yet, the one was a second hand.
239
00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:47,075
Yes, he had more money than...
240
00:13:47,717 --> 00:13:51,127
most of us here today.
But did that make him a better man?
241
00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:57,819
We know Denholm was a man of money.
242
00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:00,412
Yes, he had more money...
243
00:14:02,279 --> 00:14:04,523
than any of us here.
244
00:14:11,596 --> 00:14:13,117
Oh, no! Jesus!
245
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,749
Jesus Christ!
246
00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:21,501
Holy...!
Call me an ambulance!
247
00:14:22,147 --> 00:14:23,978
I'm not f****** joking!
248
00:14:24,246 --> 00:14:25,519
And get an ambulance!
249
00:14:25,889 --> 00:14:27,852
I'm not f****** joking!
250
00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:30,005
Call me a f****** ambulance!
251
00:14:33,636 --> 00:14:34,892
Oh, no, wait...
252
00:14:36,422 --> 00:14:37,651
That's my phone!
253
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,595
I think that... It's...
254
00:14:44,153 --> 00:14:46,304
Let's see if... I can't leave it.
255
00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:49,899
I can't leave it. I'll turn it off.
I've just been set up.
256
00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:52,408
Oh, God f***!
257
00:14:56,392 --> 00:14:57,399
Go on!
258
00:14:59,271 --> 00:15:00,734
Oh, it's gone to message.
259
00:15:00,978 --> 00:15:03,933
Hey, Roy, nothing important!
Just wondering how the funeral went.
260
00:15:04,081 --> 00:15:05,274
Call me back.
261
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,906
If we are all quite ready,
262
00:15:11,079 --> 00:15:14,967
Denholm instructed that this short film
be played before the service.
263
00:15:18,943 --> 00:15:21,017
You're all out of there!
You are out of there!
264
00:15:21,347 --> 00:15:22,559
You're history!
265
00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:30,339
If you're watching this,
it means I'm dead, now.
266
00:15:30,906 --> 00:15:32,839
And it's all thanks
to these little things.
267
00:15:33,648 --> 00:15:35,141
- Wrong!
- Shut up!
268
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:40,075
Cigarettes have finally killed me.
269
00:15:40,323 --> 00:15:42,812
Like they killed my father,
my father's father,
270
00:15:42,954 --> 00:15:46,200
my mother's father, my mother,
and her father.
271
00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:50,575
I just can't seem to give
the damn things up. I love them!
272
00:15:51,543 --> 00:15:53,816
Sweet smoky cigarettes.
273
00:16:02,231 --> 00:16:03,891
You delicious bastards!
274
00:16:18,423 --> 00:16:19,747
Final clause, Stephanie,
275
00:16:19,889 --> 00:16:23,211
could you categorise the personel files
alphabetically from now on?
276
00:16:23,427 --> 00:16:25,433
That rhyming thing, this isn't working.
277
00:16:25,576 --> 00:16:28,137
Also call Who's Who
and get them to update my entry.
278
00:16:28,615 --> 00:16:31,920
Well, thanks everyone for coming!
Enjoy the rest of the funeral.
279
00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:41,877
Well said, sir!
280
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,138
I will now ask Mr. Pippin
to read the eulogy.
281
00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:53,793
I see a lot of faces out there.
282
00:16:54,532 --> 00:16:57,598
Some of you I know, some of you
I hope to get to know better
283
00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:59,430
over the coming months.
284
00:17:00,105 --> 00:17:02,983
Some of you I probably won't be
seeing very much off, after today!
285
00:17:04,362 --> 00:17:06,028
The reading of the eulogy
286
00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:09,200
is a duty normally left
to the eldest child.
287
00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:12,478
But, as you all know,
Denholm's son Douglas
288
00:17:12,675 --> 00:17:16,508
mysteriously disappeared
after a lengthy court case, 7 years ago.
289
00:17:18,011 --> 00:17:21,555
Let me start by reading this poem
that I saw
290
00:17:22,096 --> 00:17:24,326
in the film Four Weddings and a Funeral.
291
00:17:26,594 --> 00:17:29,467
"Stop... all the clocks."
292
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:39,433
Father!
293
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:52,611
- Tits!
- We're just a small church.
294
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:05,020
Unhappy priest!
295
00:18:05,427 --> 00:18:06,920
Where is your God?
296
00:18:07,081 --> 00:18:09,014
Where is your God now!
297
00:18:09,427 --> 00:18:11,863
Here lies a great man!
298
00:18:12,329 --> 00:18:13,731
A great man!
299
00:18:14,088 --> 00:18:16,022
Father!
300
00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:24,061
- Did I miss anything?
- They just started Denholm's eulogy.
301
00:18:26,611 --> 00:18:27,739
You stink!
302
00:18:28,283 --> 00:18:30,387
I just smoked a cigarette from a drain.
303
00:18:32,259 --> 00:18:33,477
Well, who's this?
304
00:18:34,319 --> 00:18:36,783
- Hi, I'm Douglas.
- Jen Barber.
305
00:18:37,186 --> 00:18:39,883
Beautiful second name!
What're you doing after the funeral?
306
00:18:41,615 --> 00:18:43,512
- Douglas!
- Speak, priest!
307
00:18:43,673 --> 00:18:46,611
No, I'm a vic...
Your father prepared a second tape
308
00:18:46,754 --> 00:18:49,398
- in the event of your sudden arrival.
- A second tape?
309
00:18:49,847 --> 00:18:50,847
I see...
310
00:18:51,742 --> 00:18:54,608
- Actually, I don't follow.
- I'll just put in on.
311
00:19:00,576 --> 00:19:03,630
Hello again. If you're watching this,
312
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:06,588
it's because my son from my 1st marriage
has arrived,
313
00:19:06,826 --> 00:19:10,413
caused a scene, and is currently
chatting up some nearby trull.
314
00:19:10,803 --> 00:19:11,883
Quiet, woman!
315
00:19:12,114 --> 00:19:14,160
I have something important
to tell you.
316
00:19:14,334 --> 00:19:15,775
I'm here, papa!
317
00:19:15,916 --> 00:19:18,495
Reynholm Industries is now yours.
318
00:19:19,619 --> 00:19:22,399
- My Lord, thank you father.
- But it's yours at a price.
319
00:19:23,103 --> 00:19:26,375
I want you to promise me now,
in front of all your new employees,
320
00:19:26,519 --> 00:19:28,249
that you will never again
321
00:19:28,525 --> 00:19:30,925
become embroiled
in a sexual harassment case
322
00:19:31,075 --> 00:19:33,436
- that dangers the company.
- I promise, father.
323
00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:38,989
There's one more thing,
but it's for your ears only.
324
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:41,590
So, I want you to stop the tape,
take it home,
325
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,069
- and watch it again later in private.
- But these are my new family.
326
00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:46,632
I have no secrets from them!
327
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:50,056
OK, Douglas. Now we're alone,
I can speak frankly.
328
00:19:50,199 --> 00:19:52,786
You may receive a visit
from the police at some point
329
00:19:52,928 --> 00:19:55,043
concerning irregularities
in the pension fund.
330
00:19:55,185 --> 00:19:56,231
Turn that off.
331
00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:59,817
I've been using a very creative
accountant recently released from jail
332
00:20:00,954 --> 00:20:04,093
- to manage what I call the suck fund!
- Where is the remote?
333
00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:07,012
- Now, the suck fund...
- I'll do it myself!
334
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,499
Good bye, father!
335
00:20:13,615 --> 00:20:15,963
Right, I'm off.
I'll see you all on Monday.
336
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,912
Douglas! Sorry,
337
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,084
I didn't mean to. Derek Pippin!
338
00:20:20,488 --> 00:20:22,268
I worked very closely with your father.
339
00:20:22,644 --> 00:20:24,139
Derek, good to meet you.
340
00:20:24,343 --> 00:20:27,813
I'm afraid I'll be bringing in my own
people, so you're immediately fired.
341
00:20:28,363 --> 00:20:29,909
Okay, good luck everyone, and...
342
00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:32,614
I'll see you later.
343
00:20:37,638 --> 00:20:40,184
- ...and you are ready to go!
- Brilliant!
344
00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,375
Thank you, computer man!
345
00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:47,533
I'm told my father was particularly
proud of the IT department.
346
00:20:48,017 --> 00:20:49,747
Run by a dynamic go-getter,
347
00:20:49,951 --> 00:20:51,903
a genius, and a man from Ireland!
348
00:20:53,345 --> 00:20:54,402
One last thing.
349
00:20:54,866 --> 00:20:57,926
How do I erase files like this one here,
marked pensions?
350
00:20:59,453 --> 00:21:01,314
- Just like this.
- All gone!
351
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:03,498
Wonderful. Thanks, guys.
352
00:21:03,714 --> 00:21:06,275
I'll be working very closely
with your department.
353
00:21:06,770 --> 00:21:08,962
And I have a feeling I'll be needing you
354
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:12,436
for a lot more than
just deleting incriminating files.
355
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:16,558
I just mean files.
356
00:21:18,061 --> 00:21:20,708
- OK, we'd better be off.
- By the way...
357
00:21:21,499 --> 00:21:25,434
Where's that ootsie-tootsie
humdinging-coochie mama-boss of yours?
358
00:21:26,973 --> 00:21:30,252
She went home early.
She said she had some catching up to do.
359
00:21:37,101 --> 00:21:38,623
One last thing.
360
00:21:39,107 --> 00:21:40,808
I sorted out this for you.
361
00:21:41,185 --> 00:21:44,555
Now, I'm afraid the vibrate setting
is still a little weedy.
362
00:21:44,766 --> 00:21:47,062
So, you may wanna
put it all the way up to ten.
363
00:21:48,491 --> 00:21:49,491
Ten!
364
00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:51,375
Shall I do...
365
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:53,381
...done...
366
00:21:53,882 --> 00:21:54,975
...and done!
367
00:22:02,771 --> 00:22:04,377
Sorry about this, old man!
368
00:22:23,171 --> 00:22:24,492
Now, I like that!
369
00:22:41,155 --> 00:22:42,751
Nearly at the station!
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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