All language subtitles for The Buccaneers Part1 - Invasion

- GINNY! GINNY!
- OVER HERE!

( ecstatic scream )

IT'S MINE!

( playful screaming )

( bell rings )

HERE.

( excited laughter continues )

HELLO.
MRS. ST. GEORGE.

I WAS JUST THINKING,
MRS. ST. GEORGE,

THAT YOUR VIRGINIA
JUST MIGHT HAVE THE ADVANTAGE

WHEN HER COMPLEXION
IS CONCERNED.

- READY?
- AND OF COURSE HER HAIR
IS JUST GORGEOUS.

BUT I SWEAR, MY LIZZY'S WAIST
IS AN INCH SMALLER,

IF NOT TWO.

( chuckles )
OH, YES, LIZZY'S WAIST,
IT'S REMARKABLE.

- OH, THAT CLOSSON GIRL.
- ( screaming )

WHY, HER HEAD IS TOO SMALL
AND WELL, HER NECK,
IT'S JUST TOO LONG.

AND THAT MOUTH,
IT'S JUST TOO BIG.

YOU DON'T THINK
SHE HAS THAT JUST
SORT OF PLAINNESS

THAT ONE DAY WHEN YOU'RE
NOT LOOKING TURNS INTO BEAUTY?

BEAUTY?
( laughs )

YOU THINK A TINY NOSE
AND A TOO-LARGE MOUTH
BEAUTIFUL, DO YOU?

I THINK THE GENTLEMAN MIGHT.
( laughs )

WELL...

BUT WHAT IS THE USE
IN A SMALL WAIST,
MRS. ST. GEORGE,

WHEN NOBODY WHO IS ANYBODY
EVER GETS TO SEE IT?

HERE WE ARE IN NEWPORT
AND WE MIGHT JUST AS WELL
BE IN KALAMAZOO.

( increasing banter )

OH, YOU'RE A STINKER!

- ( bell ringing )
- Host: GOOD AFTERNOON.

WOULD WE LIKE TO SIT BY
THE FRENCH WINDOWS?

I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO AROUND
WITH THAT STRANGE GIRL.

I SHOULD THINK YOU
ROAST IN THAT.

NO, GINNY, WOULD YOU LISTEN
TO WHAT I SAY?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WHY, THAT CLOSSON GIRL,
OF COURSE.

OH, I THINK
SHE'S LOVELY.

WHEN MS. TESTVALLEY COMES,
YOU WILL FIND THAT SHE FEELS

EXACTLY THE WAY I DO
ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE.

AND YOU'LL HAVE TO DO
AS SHE SAYS, AND NO ARGUING!

SHE'S NOT REALLY COMING,
IS SHE?

OH, ALL STYLISH GIRLS HAVE
GOVERNESSES NOWADAYS.

AND THIS ONE'S VERY SPECIAL--
SHE WAS WITH THE PARMORE GIRL.

HER?! SHE LOOKS AT US
AS IF SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW US!

THAT IS HOW
A LADY IS SUPPOSED
TO LOOK AT STRANGERS.

WELL, THEN THAT'S HOW
I'LL LOOK AT THIS GOVERNESS.

( laughs )

- HELLO, LITTLE ONE.
- ( dog barks )

HELLO.
( chuckles )

CONCHITA'S
SUCH A LOVELY NAME.

- IT'S "CON-SHE-TA."
- CON-SHE-TA.

YES.
COME HERE.

MINE'S ANNABEL REALLY,
BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME "NAN."

- NAN.
- YES.

CONCHITA, HAVE YOU EVER
HAD A GOVERNESS?

MERCY, NO.
WHATEVER FOR?

THAT'S WHAT I SAID,
BUT MY MOTHER AND GINNY,

THEY'VE COOKED UP THIS THING
BETWEEN THEM.

I'M GOING TO HAVE ONE
COMING IN NEXT WEEK.

YOU KNOW
SHE'S COMING HERE?

YEAH, IT'S THE END OF
ALL MY FUN.

SHE'LL MAKE ME LEARN FRENCH
AND LISTS OF DATES AND--

WELL, I SHOULD HATE THAT
MORE THAN GOING TO THE OPERA,

BUT NO,
OPERA AND FRENCH VERBS

ARE SUPPOSED TO GET A GIRL
A GOOD HUSBAND.

DON'T YOU WANT
TO GET MARRIED?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

THAT-THAT IS,
NOT TO ANYONE I'VE SEEN YET.

SO, I SUPPOSE...

YOU'D RATHER BE
SOME RICH MAN'S MISTRESS.

WOULD YOU?

GO ON, HAVE ONE.

NOBODY WILL SEE US
OUT HERE.

THANK YOU.

NOW, PUT IT...

IF THAT WOMAN
INTERFERES WITH ME,

YEAH, I'LL KILL HER.

OH NO, I WOULDN'T DO THAT,
NOT RIGHT AWAY.

I'D TRY
TO GET AROUND HER FIRST.

YES.

Driver:
WHOA THERE, BOY, WHOA!

WHOA!

All:
WELCOME TO NEWPORT,
MS. TESTVALLEY!

WELL, WHICH ONE OF YOU
CHARMING YOUNG LADIES
IS TO BE MY PUPIL?

OH, DON'T YOU
JUST LOVE HER ACCENT?

SAY SOMETHING MORE!
SAY SOMETHING!

ISN'T ONE OF YOU GOING TO OWN UP
TO BEING MY PUPIL?

GUESS, GUESS!
YOU HAVE TO GUESS WHICH ONE!

VERY WELL.

I GUESS...

THIS IS MISS ANNABEL.

- YES!
- HOW DID YOU KNOW?

ANYONE CAN SEE YOU'RE
NOTHING BUT A BABY.

WELL, IF I'M A BABY,
I WANT A NURSE, NOT
A BEAST ENGLISH GOVERNESS!

ANNABEL MAY!

Ms. Testvalley's voice:
"MY DEAREST JACKIE,

IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE WHAT
A SHAMELESS NEGOTIATOR
I HAVE BECOME.

THE NEW YORK AGENCY
INFORMED ME

THAT THE NEW PEOPLE
WILL GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING

FOR AN ACCOMPLISHED
ENGLISH GOVERNESS,

BUT THAT I WOULD CERTAINLY
BE UNHAPPY WITH THEM.

I DID NOT LIKE TO POINT OUT
THAT I DIDN'T COME TO AMERICA

IN SEARCH OF
DISTINGUISHED PEOPLE.

I CAME IN SEARCH OF MONEY.

SINCE THE ST. GEORGES
ARE VERY NEW INDEED,

I PUT UP
MY SALARY ACCORDINGLY,

AND ONCE MY EMPLOYER
RECOVERED FROM HER SHOCK,

IT WAS ACCEPTED."

( object strikes ground )

Annabel's voice:
"I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU
BEASTLY. ANNABEL."

PAPA! PAPA!
( laughing )

I'M GLAD YOU COME!

WHAT'S THE NEWS?

LOTS, LOTS OF NEWS.

( both laugh )

OH, HOW WERE THE RACES?

WELL, SARATOGA HAS ALWAYS
BEEN KIND TO ME, MY DEAR.

THE GOVERNESS
HAS ARRIVED.

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

- AHH...
- YES.

( groans )

CAN I GO WITH YOU
NEXT TIME?

IN A FEW YEARS,
SWEETHEART.

I GOT A FEW FANCY NOTIONS
FOR YOU AND YOUR SISTER,

AND A REAL PIECE OF CLASS
FOR YOUR MOTHER.

IS IT AWFULLY EXPENSIVE?

WHY, WHAT IF IT IS,
YOU CRITICAL LITTLE IMP!

( both laugh )

THE LAST TIME YOU BOUGHT MOM
SOMETHING EXPENSIVE,

THERE WAS AN ALL-NIGHT ROW
ABOUT CARDS OR SOMETHING.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, NAN...

LET'S, YOU AND I,
FORM AN ALLIANCE.

I GOT TO SOFTEN YOUR MOTHER,
BUT IT'S A BUSINESS MATTER,
YOU UNDERSTAND.

NOW, IF YOU HELP ME OUT,
I'LL SEE IF I CAN'T FIX THINGS

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEARN
SO MANY FRENCH VERBS.

( both laugh )

( playing piano softly )

Mrs. St. George:
WELL, OF COURSE I DON'T KNOW
ANY OF THE PARTICULARS,

BUT MRS. CLOSSON IS HARDLY
THE KIND OF WOMAN

I WOULD EVER ASSOCIATE WITH.

BUT PEOPLE DO SAY SHE'S
NO MORE A WIDOW THAN I AM.

SHE'S A DIVORCEE.

I'VE EVEN HEARD THAT
MR. AND MRS. CLOSSON
ARE NOT MARRIED.

OH, AND AS FOR
THAT DAUGHTER OF HERS,

WHY, SHE POWDERS HER FACE
AND SHE SMOKES CIGARETTES--

HOLD ON, IDA, HOLD ON!

I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

THE FACT IS, CLOSSON IS ABOUT
TO PUT ME ON TO SOMETHING BIG,

AND IF YOU GO TURNING
YOUR NOSE UP AT HIS FAMILY,

YOU'RE GOING TO WRECK
THE WHOLE BUSINESS.

MR. CLOSSON
IS LITTLE BETTER
THAN A GANGSTER.

SWEETIE, A MAN
CAN MAKE HIS MONEY
FROM HOTELS AND CASINOS

WITHOUT BEING A GANGSTER.

THE FACT IS,
CLOSSON HAS THE EAR

OF SOME OF THE MOST
POWERFUL MEN IN TOWN,

FROM GOULD TO VANDERBILT,
AND I NEED HIM.

I JUST CAN'T BEAR TO THINK
OF THE KIND OF MEN THAT
YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

WELL, I AIN'T ASKIN' YA
TO THINK, IDA.

I'M ASKIN' YOU TO SMILE.

AND AIN'T YOU GOT
THE PRETTIEST SMILE
IN ALL THE UNION.

( both chuckle )

- OH!
- YEAH...

I RELY ON YOU--
YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?

THAT IS THE RESULT
OF MY FIRST TURNOVER, MADAM.

WHAT DO YOU SAY,
SWEETHEART?

BUT YOU KNOW, DEAR,
I STILL HAVE THE GIRLS
TO THINK ABOUT.

AND IF THEY'RE EVER TO MEET
ANY NICE, YOUNG MEN--

NICE YOUNG MEN WILL SHOW UP
IN GREATER NUMBERS IF I CAN
PUT THIS DEAL THROUGH.

WHICH REMINDS ME,

CLOSSON IS COMING UP
ON THE EVENING TRAIN,

BRINGING HIS STEPSON
AND A NICE, YOUNG ENGLISH
GENTLEMAN WITH HIM.

NEW DANCING PARTNERS
FOR THE GIRLS, HUH?

- HMM.
- NOW WHAT'S SAY...

YOU INVITE THE CLOSSON'S
TO JOIN US FOR SUPPER,
MY DEAR?

YES...

OH...

Man:
WELL, THIS POOR MAN
HAD A DEVIL OF A TIME

IN SOUTH AMERICA
RIDING WESTERN SADDLE.

NOW, OF COURSE, WE CONSIDERED IT
AN HONOR TO HAVE LORD RICHARD
ALONG MY WIFE'S SONS.

BUT ONE OF
OUR WILD LITTLE HORSES
TOOK A DIFFERENT VIEW.

MR. CLOSSON, IF THE SUBJECT
OF THIS STORY MAY BE ALLOWED
TO SPEAK...

OH, PLEASE, LORD RICHARD,
GO RIGHT AHEAD.

Lord Richard:
I SHOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY,

THAT AT HOME I'M CONSIDERED
NO WORSE A RIDER THAN
THE NEXT MAN.

( Closson laughs )

Closson:
I DON'T DOUBT YOUR A FINE
HORSEMAN, ENGLISH-STYLE.

BUT THOSE LITTLE HORSES
HAVE FIRE IN THEIR BLOOD.

FIRE, YOU CALL IT?

BRIMSTONE, MORE LIKE IT.

( laughter )

AH-AH-- PURE BRAZILIAN
BLOOD, RICHARD.

HELLO.

RICHARD'S
FLIRTING WITH NAN.

( clears throat )

YOU SEE, MAMA INSISTED
THAT RICHARD SHOULD RIDE
HER OWN FAVORITE.

REALLY, MAMA, YOU HAVE
SUCH A MISCHIEVOUS STREAK.

INSISTED?
NO, NO, NO, NO.

SHE WAS THE ONE
WHO CAUGHT LORD RICHARD'S EYE.

Mr. Closson:
WELL, HONEY,
HOWEVER IT CAME ABOUT,

WHEN RICHARD'S ENGLISH
DERRIERE HIT THAT SADDLE,

THAT LITTLE MARE
SURE KICKED UP HER HEELS.

SHE WAS UP AND AWAY
LIKE GREASED LIGHTNING.

OUT OF THE PADDOCK,
AND INTO THE YARD

WHERE THE BOYS WERE
LOADING THE CARTS--

NOW, GIVE RICHARD HIS DUE,
HE HUNG ON IN THERE,

LIKE A MAN
WHO KNEW HAT HE WAS DOING,

BUT SHE BUCKED AND ROLLED SO,

THAT OUR FRIEND HERE
ENDED UP

HEAD FIRST IN A CRATE
OF COFFEE BEANS.

( laughter )

AND YOU ALL THOUGHT THIS WAS
A SOUTH AMERICAN SUNTAN,
I SUPPOSE.

( laughter )

NOW THAT YOU'RE IN THE UNITED
STATES, LORD RICHARD,

DO YOU SEE A GREAT DEAL
ABOUT US TO CRITICIZE?

OH, ON THE CONTRARY,
MRS. ST. GEORGE.

I SEE MUCH TO ADMIRE.

TO ENGLAND.

BRAZIL!

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

TO THE UNION!

( knocking on door )

COME IN.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES,
SEEING YOU DOWN THERE LIKE THAT.

I HOPE YOU
OBLIGE ME, LORD RICHARD,
BY LEAVING IMMEDIATELY.

LAURA, WE'RE STILL FRIENDS,
AREN'T WE?

YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER
FORGOTTEN YOU.

YOU'RE PUTTING MY JOB
AT STAKE.

WASN'T YOUR JOB AT STAKE THEN,
WHEN YOU WERE WITH US?

YES, IT WAS, BUT YOUR MOTHER
DIDN'T PAY ME HALF OF WHAT
MRS. ST. GEORGE PAYS.

( laughing )

TOUCHE.

CAN I SAY, LAURA, YOU...

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC,
REALLY TERRIFIC.

RICHARD, YOU HAVE
SUCH A NERVE!

YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED.
YOU WERE EXACTLY
THE SAME 10 YEARS AGO.

ONLY THEN I FOUND YOU CHARMING
BECAUSE YOU WERE HARDLY
MORE THAN A BOY.

AND YOU WEREN'T IN LOVE
WITH CONCHITA!

AM I IN LOVE
WITH CONCHITA?

SHE IS AN EXTRAORDINARY
GIRL, ISN'T SHE?

SO AM I,

IN MY WAY.

AND I AM CERTAINLY
NO STAND IN.

NOW, GO.

GO!

DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!

( Conchita screams )

Driver: WHOA!

Man:
GOOD MORNING.

HERE, NOW.
HERE, MA'AM,
LET ME HELP YOU.

LET'S GO.

TELL ME, HAVE YOU
ALWAYS LIVED IN NEW YORK?

- NO, WE'RE ORIGINALLY
FROM WEST VIRGINIA.
- AH.

WE WERE VERY POOR
WHEN I WAS YOUNG.

RIGHT AFTER THE CIVIL WAR--
YOU KNOW WE HAD A WAR?

- YES, DEAR.
- WELL, RIGHT AFTER THAT
WE HAD NOTHING.

MOTHER USED TO CRY
BECAUSE WE COULDN'T
BUY NEW CURTAINS.

AND PAPA,
HE USED TO ALWAYS SAY

THE OLD MEN MADE MONEY
WHILE THE YOUNG MEN GOT KILLED.

NOW, AFTER IT WAS ALL OVER,
WE MOVED TO NEW YORK,

AND PAPA GOT RICH
ON A PERCENT RAILROAD
OR SOMETHING.

AND WE GOT A HOUSE
ON MADISON AVENUE.

ONLY, AS SOON AS WE MOVED IN,
MOTHER REALIZED

NO ONE LIVES
ON MADISON AVENUE ANYMORE.

ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD
TO GOING BACK TO NEW YORK?

NO...

BECAUSE IT WILL BE THE SAME
AS IT ALWAYS IS:

MOTHER WILL SEND HER CARDS
TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE,

AND WE STILL WON'T GET INVITED
TO THE RIGHT PARTIES,

AND MOTHER AND VIRGINIA
WILL SPEND THE WHOLE TIME
MOANING ABOUT IT.

- I CAN'T IMAGINE
HOW BORING IT IS.
- DON'T DO THAT, DEAR.

WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE TO BE
IS A RICH MAN'S MISTRESS,

NOT SOME CLASSY ENGLISHMAN'S
WIFE LIKE CONNIE.

WELL, EVEN THE RICH MAN'S
MISTRESS HAS HER BORING MOMENTS.

SHE HAS TO TAKE
THE GREATEST CARE
OF HER PERSON, HER CLOTHES...

IN THE MEANTIME, I THINK
YOU SHOULD TAKE THE GREATEST
CARE OF YOUR GRAMMAR.

NOW, MRS. PARMORE IS ONE OF
THE RIGHT PEOPLE YOUR MOTHER
TALKS ABOUT,

SO DO YOUR BEST
TO BE POLITE.

AND WHO IS THIS?

THIS IS MY NEW PUPIL,
MRS. PARMORE,

MISS ANNABEL ST. GEORGE.

- ST. GEORGE?
- YES, I--

NO... IT'S NOT A NAME
I'M FAMILIAR WITH.

NOW, MS. TESTVALLEY,
MY MEMORY DOES NOT DECEIVE ME--

YOU WERE GOVERNESS
TO LORD RICHARD'S SISTERS,
WERE YOU NOT?

I WAS WITH THE LADIES
HONORIA AND FELICIA
FOR THREE YEARS, YES.

BUT OF COURSE, I DIDN'T SEE
VERY MUCH OF THE SONS.

OF COURSE.
BUT NOW TELL ME,

LORD RICHARD IS NOT
THE BRIGHTLINGSEA HEIR IS HE?

OH, GOOD GRACIOUS, NO.

NO, LORD RICHARD HAS
AN OLDER BROTHER.

MMM... EVEN SO,
HIS INTENDED MARRIAGE

TO THIS CLOSSON GIRL
IS SURELY SOMEWHAT OVERHASTY.

IT HAS RATHER
TAKEN US BY SURPRISE, YES.

BUT LORD RICHARD MET
MS. CLOSSON SOME MONTHS AGO,

ON THE FAMILY PLANTATION
IN BRAZIL.

I TRUST MY OWN DAUGHTER
WOULD NEVER CONSENT

TO AN ENGAGEMENT
OF LESS THAN TWO YEARS.

BUT I SUPPOSE THAT AMONG
THE PEOPLE THAT YOU'RE WITH NOW,

THERE ARE
NO SOCIAL TRADITIONS.

WELL, IT IS NATURALLY
A VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE

FROM BEING WITH YOU,
MRS. PARMORE.

I CONSIDER MYSELF
VERY FORTUNATE

TO HAVE HAD
SUCH A DISTINGUISHED
INTRODUCTION TO AMERICA.

POOR YOUNG MAN.

DOES HIS FAMILY REALIZE WHAT
A DEPLORABLE CHOICE HE'S MADE?

ON THE OTHER HAND,
DOES HER FAMILY REALIZE?

NOTHING OF COURSE CAN ALTER
THE FACT THAT HE IS THE SON
OF A MARQUIS.

NEVERTHELESS,
IT HAS BEEN SAID

THAT LORD RICHARD
HAS BEEN SOMEWHAT DISSIPATED.

GOVERNESSES, YOU KNOW,
HEAR SO MUCH LESS GOSSIP
THAN LADIES' MAIDS.

QUITE SO.

DID YOU RECALL,
MS. TESTVALLEY,

THAT IT IS MY DAUGHTER ALETA'S
EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK.

SO IT IS.

MY LAST CHILD.

WE SHALL HAVE THE CREAM
OF NEWPORT SOCIETY

AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY.

I FLATTER MYSELF THAT EVEN
AN ENGLISH ARISTOCRAT
WOULD BE IMPRESSED.

OH, NO DOUBT HE WOULD.

BUT OF COURSE,
ONE CAN'T INVITE LORD RICHARD

WITHOUT HIS FIANCEE.

ISN'T THAT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
THING YOU EVER SAW?

OH, I LOVE THIS!

( light chattering )

I THINK RICHARD
WILL LIKE IT, NO?

CAN ANYONE TELL ME
WHY MISS CLOSSON

IS THE ONLY ONE INVITED
TO MS. PARMORE'S BALL?

BECAUSE OF LORD RICHARD,
OF COURSE.

AND WHO ARE THE CLOSSONS,
AND WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?

FOR THAT MATTER, MOTHER,
WHO ARE WE AND WHERE DO
WE COME FROM?

MAMA, LOOK.
DO YOU LIKE ME?

OH, MY DARLING,
IT'S DIVINE.

( kisses )
SIMPLY DIVINE.

( chuckles )
OH, IT'S SUCH A PITY YOU'RE
NOT COMING TO THE BALL TOO.

OH, WHO WANTS AN INVITATION
FROM THAT RUDE OLD SCARECROW
ANYWAY?

ANNABEL...

NOW, AWAY WITH YOU.
YES, YES, YES, OFF YOU GO.

I WANT TO HAVE A FEW WORDS
WITH MS. TEST-- TET--

- TESTVALLEY.
- VALLEY!

AH-- SEE--
ALONE, PLEASE.

BUT MAMA, THIS HERE.

YOU ARE GORGEOUS.
GORGEOUS. COME.

SHOO, SHOO, OUT, OUT.
GO, GO.

( sighs )

NOW. OH.

OH, PLEASE, SIT YOURSELF DOWN,
MS. TESTVALLEY.

IF YOU CAN FIND
ONE SQUARE INCH.

AHH...

DID YOU EVER SEE A GIRL
SO HAPPY?

BUT...

MY HUSBAND, MR. CLOSSON...

CANNOT ACCUSTOM HIMSELF
TO THE IDEA THAT...

RICHARD HAS NO MEANS
OF EARNING AN INCOME

TO SUPPORT HIS WIFE WITH.
( chuckles )

IN ENGLAND, MRS. CLOSSON,
A GENTLEMAN DOES NOT EARN MONEY.

I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO EXPAND ON THAT A LITTLE,
MS. TESTVALLEY.

LORD RICHARD COMES FROM
ONE OF THE FOREMOST FAMILIES
IN ENGLAND.

HE OFFERS BOTH HIS TITLE,
AND OF COURSE AN ENTRY

INTO THE VERY HIGHEST ECHELONS
OF ENGLISH SOCIETY.

BUT, WELL...

FOR MY PART, I NEVER COULD SEE
MUCH DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PEOPLE.

EXCEPT OF COURSE,

SOME ARE FAVORED WITH
MORE LEISURE THAN OTHERS, EH?

( laughs )

RICHARD SURELY DOES
HAVE ENOUGH LEISURE.

YES, BUT YOU KNOW,
MRS. CLOSSON,

CONCHITA WILL BE EXPECTED
TO TAKE ON CERTAIN
RESPONSIBILITIES.

YOU SEE,
IN THESE GREAT ENGLISH HOUSES,

A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
HAS DUTIES TO PERFORM.

SHE'S EXPECTED TO MASTER
AN INTRICATE CODE
OF SOCIAL RULES.

PLEASE, DON'T TELL ME.

IT MAKES MY HEAD SPIN

TO HEAR RICHARD
TALK ABOUT IT. IT'S--

NO! BUT CONCHITA,

CONCHITA HAS NEVER HAD
THE SLIGHTEST DIFFICULTY

IN MASTERING ANYTHING.

SO, I DON'T SEE THE...

ENGLISH SYSTEM OF ETIQUETTE
DEFEATING HER, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

ALL I WANT IS FOR CONCHITA
TO BE HAPPY.

RICHARD WILL MAKE HER HAPPY,
WON'T HE?

OH, YES,
YES, YES, YES.

I AM SURE HE WILL.

LAURA...

MAY I SPEAK TO YOU ALONE?

OH, PLEASE,
I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE.

Lord Richard:
IT'S ABOUT CLOSSON.

HE'S TAKING IT RATHER BAD
BECAUSE THERE'S BEEN NO WORD
FROM HOME ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE.

HE KEEPS NAGGING ME
ABOUT WHAT HE CALLS
MY "CIRCUMSTANCES."

YOU KNOW, I HONESTLY THINK
HE DESPISES ME

FOR NOT BEING
A BUSINESS OF SOME KIND.

BUT THE POINT IS,
YOU'RE THE SORT PEOPLE TALK TO.

AND IF ANYTHING ELSE
UPSETS HIM, I CAN QUITE SEE HIM

TAKE IT INTO HIS HEAD
TO QUESTION YOU ABOUT ME.

WHY QUESTION ME?

DEVIL TAKE IT, LAURA--
EVERYONE KNOWS YOU WERE
PART OF THE FAMILY.

AND...?

LOOK ,THE FACT IS,

I KNOW MY MOTHER BLASTED
ALL THAT STUPID BUSINESS TO YOU

BEFORE I LEFT FOR FRANCE.

OH, YOU MEAN YOUR LITTLE
EXPERIMENT WITH FRAUD?

YES, WELL, I WAS
AN IDIOT OF COURSE,

BUT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
HALF OF WHAT I WAS DOING.

YES, YOUR MOTHER
DID SAY SOMETHING.

THINGS ARE BAD ENOUGH
AS IT IS,

WITHOUT CLOSSON GETTING WIND
OF ALL THAT.

OH, YES, I DO SEE.

A PROSPECTIVE SON-IN-LAW
WITH STRAYING HANDS.

SO HARD ON A FELLOW.

AM I?
( chuckles )

I DON'T THINK SO.

( dog barking )

YOUR SECRET
IS SAFE WITH ME.

YOU'RE A BRICK, LAURA.

YOU ALWAYS WERE.

AND YOU DON'T THINK
TOO UNKINDLY OF ME, DO YOU?

I DON'T THINK OF YOU AT ALL,
LORD RICHARD.

YOU KNOW,
I SHALL MARRY HER ANYWAY,

WITH OR WITHOUT
MY PARENTS' BLESSING.

BESIDES,
THEY'LL COME AROUND,

ONCE THEY REALIZE
HER STEPFATHER'S
FILTHY WITH MONEY.

OR SOON WILL BE.

OH...
THANK YOU.

IT'S FROM YOUR MOTHER.

"IS SHE BLACK?
HIS ANGUISHED MOTHER,
SELENA BRIGHTLINGSEA."

( laughter )

PROMISE ME SOMETHING,
WILL YOU?

JUST PROMISE ME THAT
YOU'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING
TO HURT CONCHITA.

I SWEAR, I'D RATHER SHOOT MYSELF
THAN HARM A HAIR OF THE HEAD.

GOOD.

RICHARD, IF I WERE
TO KEEP YOUR SECRET,

LET ME ASK A TRIFLING FAVOR
IN RETURN.

OH, TO BE IN ENGLAND...

Women:
OH... OH...

...NOW THAT
APRIL'S THERE...

- NOW THAT APRIL...
- NOW THAT APRIL...

( low )
AND WHOEVER WAKES IN ENGLAND...

( normal voice )
AND AFTER APRIL,
WHEN MAY FOLLOWS...

AND AFTER APRIL,
WHEN MAY FOLLOWS...

Lord Richard:
AND THE WHITE THROAT BUILDS,

- AND ALL THE SWALLOWS...
- OH, THE WHITE THROAT SWALLOWS.

NO, NO.
NO, COME ON, YOU'VE
GOT TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

NOW, VIRGINIA AND LIZZY,

LOOK AT MY LIPS.

SAY AFTER ME...

OH, TO BE IN EE-NGLAND...

( all giggling )

PLEASE, COME ON.
OH... OH...

IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
OH, TO BE IN ENGLAND.

ENGLAND.

( mocking )
OH, TO BE IN ENGLAND,

NOW THAT APRIL'S THERE...

NO, NO, NO, IT'S...

OH, TO BE IN ENGLAND,
NOW THAT APRIL'S THERE.

- YES?
- VERY GOOD, CONCHITA.

- THANK YOU, DARLING.
- ( women laugh )

BUT YOU'RE HOPELESS.
HOPELESS.

AND IT'S "OH"
AND "AH-FTER."

Conchita: OH.

( perfect English )
OH, TO BE IN ENGLAND,
NOW THAT APRIL'S THERE.

YES, VERY GOOD.

MY BABY, YES.

A SHAME
SHE'S NOT BEEN INVITED.

( announcing )
SENATOR MANSFIELD DOUGLAS
AND MRS. DOUGLAS.

( crowd chattering )

HIS EXCELLENCY,
THE AMBASSADOR
FROM THE NETHERLANDS,

MR. VANDEROW
AND MRS. VANDEROW.

COMMODORE ETHAN McCOWAN.

Man:
MRS. PARMORE,
MISS PARMORE.

Woman:
MISS PARMORE.

JAMES, MRS. PARMORE,
MISS PARMORE.

LORD RICHARD MARABEL

AND HIS FIANCEE,
MISS CONCHITA CLOSSON.

ISN'T SHE LOVELY?

( people chattering )

- Woman #1: HE'S VERY HANDSOME.
- Woman #2: INDEED.

MR. PARMORE.

MY CHARMING DAUGHTER, ALETA.

Announcer:
THE LADIES HONORIA
AND FELICIA MARABEL.

AH, LORD RICHARD'S SISTERS.

Mrs. Parmore:
THEIR APPEARANCE IS
SOMEWHAT SURPRISING.

COULD THEY BE UNDER THE
IMPRESSION THAT THIS WAS TO BE

A FANCY DRESS BALL?

WELCOME TO AMERICA.

WE CAN'T SAY HOW CHARMED
WE ARE TO BE HERE, MRS. PARMORE.

CHARMED.

( instrumental waltz playing )

Woman:
MRS. PARMORE'S PARTIES ARE
THE HEIGHT OF THE SEASON!

WONDERFUL, DARLING!

OH, I DID WANT TO GO
TO THE BALL, REALLY,

EVEN THOUGH I SAID
I DIDN'T CARE.

WELL, NOW THAT VIRGINIA
AND LIZZY HAVE FOUND AN ENTRY,

I'M SURE THERE'LL BE PLENTY
OF BALLS FOR YOU TO ATTEND.

WHEN THE TIME COMES.

COLD.

COME UNDER THE COVERS.
COME ON.

( both chuckle )

"WILLOWS WHITEN,
ASPENS QUIVER,

LITTLE BREEZES DUSK
AND SHIVER,

THRO' THE WAVE
THAT RUNS FOREVER,

BY THE ISLAND
IN THE RIVER

FLOWING DOWN TO CAMELOT."

THAT'S LOVELY.

- WHO WROTE IT?
- ALFRED TENNYSON.

- IS HE ENGLISH?
- YES.

I'M SURE ENGLAND
IS FULL OF POETS.

I KNOW IF EVER I MET
AN ENGLISH POET,

I SHOULD
FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM.

WELL, LET'S HOPE
YOU NEVER MEET ONE.

ARE YOU YOUNGER
THAN MY MOTHER?

I-- I BELIEVE WE'RE
PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME AGE.

- I DON'T KNOW.
- YOU SEEM MUCH YOUNGER.

PERHAPS IT'S BECAUSE
YOU DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND.

OH, ANNABEL!

HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED
THAT WHEN LADIES MARRY,

THEY GO SORT OF
QUIET AND DULL?

I HAVE NOT.

BUT IT'S TRUE.

I'D RATHER
BE LIKE YOU--

FREE.

WHEN A WOMAN WANTS
TO BE FREE, ANNABEL,

THERE'S A PRICE TO PAY.

DON'T EVER FORGET THAT.

THOUGH IT'S PROBABLY BEST
FOR A LADY TO MARRY WISELY.

YOU DIDN'T GET MARRIED.

WE'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT ME.

AND I'M NOT A LADY.

NOW, LISTEN!
DO, PLEASE.

"ON EITHER SIDE
OF THE RIVER LIE

LONG FIELDS
OF BARLEY AND OF RYE,

THAT CLOTHE THE WOLD
AND MEET THE SKY.

AND THRO' THE FIELD
THE ROAD RUNS BY

TO MANY-TOWER'D CAMELOT.

AND UP AND DOWN THE PEOPLE GO,

GAZING WHERE THE LILIES BLOW

ROUND AN ISLAND THERE BELOW,

THE ISLAND OF SHALOTT."

Woman:
FINE MORNING, MRS. PARMORE.

WHOA.

LADY HONORIA!
LADY FELICIA!

WHAT A PLEASURE!

I DO HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING
TO ENJOY IN OUR LITTLE TOWN.

OH!
( changes inflection )
OH!

MRS. PARMORE,
GOOD MORNING!

( stammering )
WHY, WE THINK NEWPORT IS JUST

THE LOVELIEST LITTLE PLACE
IN AMERICA.

WHY, I WAS JUST SAYING
TO MISS ELMSWORTH--

AND THE AIR,
MRS. PARMORE IS--

IT'S SO VERY, VERY BRACING.

- AFTER LONDON.
- "AH-F."

"AH-FTER" LONDON.

I SEE SOME RETCHED JOKE
HAS BEEN PLAYED.

NO DOUBT YOU THINK IT
AT MY EXPENSE.

I'M AFRAID YOU WILL FIND IT
QUITE THE CONTRARY.

Driver:
WALK ON.

- LIZZY!
- Lizzy: MAMA!

MAMA, IT WAS THE ONLY WAY
WE COULD GO!

- ( ocean crashing )
- ( excited screaming )

( seagulls squawking )

( weeping )

THE GIRLS HAVE RUINED
ANY CHANCE THEY EVER HAD.

YOU DO REALIZE THAT
CONCHITA WILL SOON BE

PART OF ONE OF
THE FINEST FAMILIES
IN ENGLAND?

I MEAN TO SAY THAT...
IF VIRGINIA AND ANNABEL

EVER WANTED TO DO
A LONDON SEASON,

KNOWING THE BRIGHTLINGSEAS
WOULD BE AN ENORMOUS HELP.

A LONDON SEASON?!

WELL, WHY NOT?

IT MIGHT BE MUCH EASIER
THAN NEW YORK.

AND IF THEY GOT ON WELL
OVER THERE,

WELL, WHEN THEY CAME BACK
TO AMERICA,

THEY WOULD BE
INVITED EVERYWHERE.

( girls singing )

OH, NO, I COULDN'T!

I COULDN'T FACE
A STRANGE COUNTRY ALL ALONE.

REALLY, NO, I COULDN'T.

( singing continues )

EUROPE.

MMM.

AHH.

IT'S WORTH THINKING ABOUT.

I WONDER WHAT
THE BRIGHTLINGSEAS
WILL MAKE OF CONCHITA?

MMM.

( screaming, laughter )

THEY'RE IN
THE VAN DYKE ROOM,
MY LORD.

ALL RIGHT.

Lord Brightlingsea:
IT MAY BE NATURAL FOR
A NEWLY-MARRIED MAN

TO VISIT HIS PARENTS.

BUT DAMN IT, SELENA,

I KNOW HOW
THE BOY'S MIND WORKS.

HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.

I THOUGHT WE FINALLY
GOT RID OF THE YOUNG BLIGHTER.

BUT HERE HE IS,
BACK AGAIN,

LIKE THE PROVERBIAL
BAD KIDDY.

COME ON, CHARLIE.
COME ON!

GO ON, BOYS, EAT.

MOTHER, FATHER...

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE
MY WIFE, CONCHITA.

WE DID NOT EXPECT YOU.

- SO VERY PLEASED, MY DEAR.
- EXCITED.

THEY'RE VERY QUIET.

WE CAN HARDLY THROW
DICKIE OUT AGAIN.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE...
HE HAS A WIFE NOW.

OUR FATHER WOULD NEVER THROW
A WOMAN OUT OF THE HOUSE.

NOT EVEN ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE
A FRENCH ACTRESS.

ESPECIALLY NOT ONE
WHO LOOKS LIKE A FRENCH ACTRESS.

YOU KNOW, DICKIE SAYS
THERE ARE TWO MORE OF THEM
IN LONDON.

YOU MEAN HE HAS
TWO MORE WIVES?!

WIVES?
TWO MORE AMERICAN GIRLS--

SISTERS,
FRIENDS OF CONCHITA.

UNMARRIED?

MY DEAR, TELL US
SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF.

RICHARD IS NOT MUCH
OF A CORRESPONDENT.

REALLY?
HE WAS TOLD ME ALL ABOUT
YOU AND ALL FRIARS.

WELL, THEN YOU HAVE
THE ADVANTAGE.

WHERE SHALL I BEGIN?

YOU MIGHT TELL US
ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.

WELL, MY MOTHER'S FAMILY
HAS A PLANTATION IN BRAZIL

WHERE WE GROW COFFEE
AND WE RAISE HORSES.

BUT MY FATHER DIED
WHEN I WAS THREE.

I'M SO SORRY.

SOME TROPICAL DISEASE,
I SUPPOSE?

NO, HE WAS SHOT
BY A HORSE RUSTLER.

GOOD GRACIOUS.

CONNIE'S
A TERRIFIC HORSEWOMAN.

OH, SPLENDID.

NOW, I BELIEVE
YOU HAVE A STEPFATHER?

YES, WELL, THE ONLY FATHER
I REMEMBER.

AND DOES YOUR STEPFATHER
RUSTLE HORSES TOO?

NO, HE HAS A FAMOUS CASINO
ON 24th STREET.

ON 24th STREET?

YES, MA'AM.
THAT'S ABOUT AS SMART
AS YOU CAN GET IN NEW YORK.

NOW, MY DEAR,
YOU MUST BE VERY TIRED
FROM YOUR LONG JOURNEY.

FISHER WILL SHOW YOU
TO YOUR ROOM.

WHAT EXACTLY IS MISS CLOSSON'S
FINANCIAL POSITION?

CONCHITA IS MY WIFE, FATHER.

MMM, QUITE.

I CAN SEE SHE HAS
A MISCHIEVOUS STREAK.

I SUSPECT WE WERE TREATED
TO SOMETHING OF A PERFORMANCE

JUST NOW, WERE WE NOT?

HER STEPFATHER'S CASINO
IS ACTUALLY THE MOST
SUMPTUOUS IN NEW YORK.

MMM... ADVISE HER
NOT TO BROADCAST THE FACT.

I TAKE IT YOU AGREED
AN ACCEPTABLE SETTLEMENT?

NOT EXACTLY.

UM, CONNIE GETS
AN ALLOWANCE, OF COURSE,

BUT TO BE FRANK,

CLOSSON FINDS OUR IDEA
OF MARRIAGE SETTLEMENTS
RATHER ODD.

- ODD?
- YEAH, ODD.

I FELT A BIT OF A HEEL
TO PRESS THE POINT.

THE FACT IS, THEY FIND IT
RATHER UNGENTLEMANLY
OF A FELLOW

NOT TO SUPPORT HIS WIFE
ON HIS OWN EARNINGS.

I HOPE I MAY EXPECT
AN INCREASE IN MY ANNUITY,

NOW THAT I'M A MARRIED MAN.

DON'T EXPECT
ANYTHING FROM ME.

YOU'VE ALREADY COST ME MORE
THAN I CARE TO REMEMBER.

WHEN YOU LEFT THIS HOUSE
IN A CLOUD TWO YEARS AGO,

I SWORE...
I'D NEVER BE MADE
A FOOL OF BY YOU AGAIN.

MUST WE ALWAYS
HARK BACK TO THAT?

HAVEN'T I MADE UP
FOR MY MISTAKES?

TOO LITTLE.

DAMN IT, BOY!

OTHER YOUNG FOOLS
HAVE GONE TO AMERICA,
AND MADE GOOD!

( door slams )

WHY DO YOU AND SEADOWN
BOTH REFUSE

TO MARRY DECENT
ENGLISH GIRLS?

( man laughing )

POOR OLD RICHARD.

IT'S NOT JUST THAT THE GIRL
IS AS VULGAR AS HELL,

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK AS IF
SHE HASN'T ANY MONEY EITHER.

BUT THEN WHAT DO
THE ANCESTORS EXPECT?

SOMEONE TO KEEP HIM IN SILK
SOCKS FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?

I MEAN, EVEN ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE ATLANTIC,

I DON'T IMAGINE RICHARD'D
LOOK LIKE MUCH OF A CATCH.

WELL, COME ON, YOU MUST ADMIT
IT'S FUNNY, IDINA?

NO, MY LOVE,
IT ISN'T.

- WHY NOT?
- BECAUSE OF US, SEADOWN.

WHAT'S IT TO DO WITH US,
FORBID IT'S SAKE?

IT'LL PUT IDEAS
INTO YOUR MOTHER'S HEAD,
THAT'S WHAT.

- ( sighs )
- SHE'LL RESENT ME EVEN MORE.

THERE'LL BE
MORE PRESSURE ON YOU
TO MAKE A GOOD MARRIAGE

TO SOME CAST-DOWN VIRGIN.

OH, LORD, WHAT A PLAGUE
THAT BROTHER OF MINE IS.

BUT NOTHING WILL TAKE ME
FROM MY DARLING GIRL.

AND SHE KNOWS IT.

MY LOVE, I AM OLDER
AND WISER THAN YOU

AND I KNOW
NOTHING OF THE KIND.

SOMETIMES I'M AFRAID
I'LL LOSE THIS PLACE
I LOVE SO MUCH.

IT'S COSTING ME
A SMALL FORTUNE.

IF I CAN'T FIND
THE MONEY FOR THE RENT,

I'LL HAVE TO LET IT
FOR THE SUMMER.

THEN I SHANT SEE YOU
FOR MONTHS ON END.

WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

( horse neighing )

WAIT.

- ( knocks on door )
- YES...

OH, NO, JACKIE.

HONESTLY,
IT'S TRUE.

PLEASE, MISS,
IT'S LADY BRIGHTLINGSEA.

OH!

I HOPE I DO NOT
INCONVENIENCE YOU,
MISS MARCH.

DEAR LADY BRIGHTLINGSEA,
WHAT A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE!

AND MS. TESTVALLEY
WITH ME HERE TOO.

WELL, HOW EXTRAORDINARY,

IT'S JUST THE PERSON
I WANTED TO SEE!

IT IS OF COURSE
ESPECIALLY TRYING
FOR MY HUSBAND.

WHEN THE LONDON HOUSE
CONCHITA'S FATHER PROMISED
HAS FAILED TO MATERIALIZE,

AND AS FAR AS I CAN GATHER,
SOMETIMES SHE RECEIVES
HER ALLOWANCE

AND SOMETIMES NOT,

RICHARD IS NOT BEHAVING
AS WELL AS HE MIGHT.

WELL, YOU KNOW
MY YOUNGER SON'S FAULTS,
MS. TESTVALLEY.

AH, YES.

FANCY TRAVELING ALONE
TO AMERICA.

I'D LIKE TO THINK
IT WAS AWFULLY...

BRAVE TO VENTURE TO SUCH
A WILD, UNKNOWN COUNTRY.

OH, THEY'RE
QUITE CIVILIZED IN THEIR WAY.

( laughs )
WELL, MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
DANCES LIKE A PERFECT SAVAGE,

FROM HALFWAY BETWEEN
A RED INDIAN AND A GAIETY GIRL.

AND SHE SINGS IN SPANISH.
IS SPANISH THEIR NATIVE
TONGUE STILL?

NOT IN THE UNITED STATES,
LADY BRIGHTLINGSEA.

THE NATIVE LANGUAGE
IS ENGLISH.

THOUGH YOU OR I
MIGHT QUESTION IT.

BUT YOU KNOW,
THERE IS SOMETHING
ENDEARING ABOUT HER.

I'M SO GLAD YOU THINK SO.

WELL, I DO RATHER.

AND OF COURSE
SHE'S VERY BEAUTIFUL.

ONE CAN QUITE SEE
WHY RICHARD LOST HIS HEAD.

THE DOGS ADORE HER.

YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYERS...

- THE ST. GEORGES?
- MMM.

ARE THEY FROM THE SAME PART
OF THE UNITED STATES?

FROM BRAZIL?

FURTHER NORTH, I THINK.

AH, WELL, THEY THINK
NOTHING OF DISTANCES THERE,
DO THEY?

BUT NOW YOU MUST TELL ME
ALL ABOUT THEM.

WHAT IS THEIR BUSINESS
IN ENGLAND?

THEY HAVE COME
FOR THE LONDON SEASON.

DO THESE AMERICANS
NOT HAVE A SEASON OF THEIR OWN?

OH, THEY DO, BUT NATURALLY,
IT DOES NOT HAVE THE SAME CACHE
AS OUR LONDON SEASON.

OH, WELL, NATURALLY.

MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
TELLS ME

THE ELDER DAUGHTER
IS A BEAUTY.

OH, THEY ARE BOTH
DELIGHTFUL GIRLS.

THEY'RE FROM
A VERY RESPECTABLE FAMILY.

THEIR FATHER IS NOT A CATTLE
RUSTLER, I TAKE IT?

- NO!
- OH.

NO, LADY BRIGHTLINGSEA.

COLONEL ST. GEORGE
IS A WEALTHY MAN.

I'M TOLD HE'S
ONE OF WALL STREET'S
RISING STARS.

INDEED.

HOW VERY CLEVER OF YOU
TO FIND THEM.

( tea cup clanging )

OH, I DO WISH TO SEE
SEADOWN MARRIED.

BUT SURELY,
LORD SEADOWN'S CASE,

THAT WILL BE
ONLY TOO EASY.

YOU'RE FORGETTING
THIS RETCHED ENTANGLEMENT

OF HIS WITH IDINA HATTON.

OH, IT'S SO MUCH WORSE,
YOU KNOW,

THAN IF SHE WAS
A DISREPUTABLE WOMAN.

AND SHE COSTS HIM
A SMALL FORTUNE.

AND OBVIOUSLY, THERE'S
NO QUESTION OF MARRIAGE.

WELL, WE'VE DONE OUR BEST,
BUT HE JUST WON'T LOOK

AT A NICE GIRL LIKE...

YES, THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT THESE FOREIGN GIRLS

THAT ATTRACTS THE YOUNG MEN,
ISN'T THERE?

I SUPPOSE
IN SHEER DESPERATION--

YOU KNOW
LORD SEADOWN'S INTERESTS
COULD NOT BE CLOSER TO MY HEART?

I SHALL MAKE INQUIRIES.

A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR YOU, MY DEAR.

- OH, THANK YOU!
- NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU MUST COME DOWN
TO ALL FRIARS, YOU KNOW.

OH, THAT WOULD MAKE ME
VERY HAPPY.

JACKIE, DOES SHE REALLY
NOT REMEMBER YOU'RE AMERICAN?

I THINK HALF OF
HER BRAIN REMEMBERS,

AND HALF OF IT DOESN'T.

YOU MEAN, THE HALF
SHE SPEAKS WITH DOESN'T?

NOW THEN, DARLING,
I FORGIVE HER.

BUT YOU KNOW, MY DEAR,
YOU REALLY MUST INTRODUCE ME

TO YOUR GIRLS
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

OH, I SHALL, OF COURSE.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING
FOR THEM?

JUST TO GIVE THEM
A LONDON SEASON,

SO THEY CAN GO HOME
TRAILING CLOUDS OF GLORY.

I THINK WE MIGHT DO
RATHER BETTER THAN THAT.

- SONTE.
- SONTE.

THE SURVIVAL
OF THE FITTEST.

JACKIE,
WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

OH, DREAMS AND SCHEMES.

YOU KNOW ME.

OF COURSE,
THINGS WERE STILL VERY CLOSED

WHEN I CAME OVER
30 YEARS AGO.

I WAS SOON NOTHING MORE
THAN A PRETTY LITTLE AMERICAN

WHO'D BEEN JILTED
AT THE ALTER BY A NOBLEMAN.

IT TOOK ME 10 YEARS
TO GET OVER THAT.

BUT I'VE MADE A LIFE
FOR MYSELF HERE.

I HAVE MY USES
AND MY REWARDS.

AND NOW EVEN THE BRASHEST
LITTLE AMERICAN

CAN SLIP THROUGH
MY FRONT DOOR,

AND FIND HERSELF
AT THE VERY HEART
OF LONDON SOCIETY.

( both chuckle )

THERE IS NOTHING I'D LIKE MORE

THAN TO HELP A NEW GENERATION
OF BUCCANEERS

DO BETTER THAN I DID.

POOR IDINA.

Ms. Testvalley:
NOW, TRY AGAIN.

YES, THAT'S BETTER.

THAT'S BETTER, BUT DON'T
EXAGGERATE YOUR CURTSEY.

ONE MIGHT AS WELL MAKE
A SARCASTIC REMARK

AS EXAGGERATE THE CURTSEY.

NOW, VIRGINIA.

VERY GOOD.

VERY GOOD.
ANNABEL...

SHOULDERS BACK,
CHIN UP--

GIRLS,
SHALL WE CONTINUE?

OH, YES.
YES.

THE ELDER SON OF A DUKE
TAKES RANK

AFTER MARQUISES
AND BEFORE EARLS.

THE ELDER SON OF AN EARL
AFTER VISCOUNTS,

AND BEFORE THE YOUNGER SONS
OF MARQUISES AND BISHOPS.

NOW, THE YOUNGER SONS OF DUKES
AND MARQUISES ARE LORDS.

- FOR EXAMPLE,
LORD CLAUDE HAMILTON...
- WILL SHE STOP TALKING EVER?

...SON OF THE DUKE
OF ABERCORD.

BUT YOU'RE NOT LISTENING
TO A WORD I'M SAYING.

OH, I DON'T KNOW,

I'VE GATHERED THAT A DUKE
IS WORTH MORE THAN A LORD.

IT ENOUGH TO MAKE ONE GIDDY.

ARE YOU NOT INTERESTED IN HOW
THE UNIVERSE WORKS, MY DEARS?

I GUESS WE'RE
AS GOOD AS ANYBODY.

THEY ACT DIFFERENT THAN US,
AND WE'RE JUST NOT USED
TO THEM YET.

WELL, I SUGGEST YOU CONTINUE
TO ACT IN YOUR OWN WAY.

IT'LL AMUSE THEM MORE
IF YOU TRY TO COPY THEM.

VAL, I HATE HAVING
TO GO WITHOUT YOU.

YOU SHANT NEED ME,

NOT WITH MISS MARCH
TO SHOW YOU THE ROPES.

WELL, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

I THINK
I SHOULD GO SHOPPING.

AND THEN I'LL TAKE
THE OPPORTUNITY TO VISIT
MY FAMILY.

ALL RIGHT.

MRS. ST. GEORGE.

WILL YOU BE
ALL RIGHT, MAMA?

YOUR MAMA WILL SIT HERE
ALL ALONE

IN MELANCHOLY EXILE.

OH, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT YOUR FATHER'S DOING?

HE'S ON A YACHT
AT THE CUP RACES
DRINKING CHAMPAGNE

WITH LOTS OF LADIES
WEARING PINK HATS.

- MAMA!
- IT'S ALL RIGHT.

REALLY.

Miss March's voice:
AND REMEMBER, NEVER,
NEVER TAKE SECONDS

OF SOUP OR FISH,

AND DON'T GO EXPRESSING
ANY OF YOUR OUTLANDISH
OPINIONS.

IN CONVERSATION IN ENGLAND,

IT DOES NOT DUE
TO SAY ANYTHING

WHICH MIGHT JUST AS WELL
BE SAID BY ANYONE ELSE.

AND THERE'S ANOTHER THING:

DON'T JUDGE A GENTLEMAN
BY HIS POWER IN PLEASING.

IN ENGLAND,
THE GREATER THE MAN IS,

THE LESS LIKELY HE IS
TO BE ENTERTAINING.

HIS DULLNESS IS ALWAYS
IN PROPORTION

TO HIS DISTINCTION.

FOREWARNED
IS FOREARMED.

WHOA, WHOA.

STEADY NOW, GIRL.

I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE LIZZY.
WON'T SHE JUST DIE OF ENVY.

GIRLS!
COME ON, GIRLS, I'VE BEEN
SITTING QUIETLY FOR YOU!

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE REALLY HERE!

ALL RIGHT,
COME WITH ME.

( girls screaming, laughing )

Annabel:
CONNIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU ACTUALLY LIVE HERE.

Conchita:
YES, IS DO,
AND IT'S AWFULLY DULL!

IT'S VERY COLD, TOO.
YOU HAVE TO GET USED TO IT.

THEY HAVE ICE
IN THEIR VEINS.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU
TO YOUR ROOMS.

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO MEET
THE IN-LAWS UNTIL DINNER.

AND EVEN THEN, IT WILL ONLY BE
A SMALL FAMILY PARTY,

BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE
MANY VISITORS HERE.

Lord Brightlingsea:
WHERE THE DEVIL'S YOUR MOTHER?

IT'S 7:00.

Honoria:
MAMA'S TALKING
WITH SEADOWN, I THINK.

I SAW HIM GO
INTO HER DRESSING ROOM.

ODD TIME FOR
YOUR MOTHER TO BE TALKING
IN HER DRESSING ROOM.

WHO ELSE IS HERE?

NO ONE IN PARTICULAR.

JUST TWO AMERICAN GIRLS,

FRIENDS OF CONCHITA'S.

MAMA TOLD HER
TO ASK THEM DOWN.

ODD THING FOR HER TO DO.

AMERICANS!
AH, DAMN IT!

SHE KNOWS I HATE
THAT WHOLE OUTLANDISH

TOBACCO-CHEWING CREW,

WITH THEIR SWAGGER,
AND THEIR NASAL TWANGS.

OH, AND MISS MARCH
IS HERE TOO.

MARCH... MARCH?

THAT'S A NAME
I'M NOT AWARE.

I SHOULD THINK SO, PAPA!

MAMA TOLD ME TO BE SURE
TO REMIND YOU.

REMIND ME OF WHAT?

WHY, THAT YOU JILTED HER

AND BROKE HER HEART!

- I DID WHAT?
- YES, YOU DID, PAPA.

AT THE VERY
LAST MINUTE, TOO.

AND AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS
HAD BEEN ORDERED.

( laughs )
THAT WHOLE NONSENSE!
YOU WOMEN!

YOU NEVER LEAVE,
BY HEAVENS.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE
PARTICULARLY NICE TO HER.

AND BE SURE
NOT TO ASK IF SHE'S EVER
BEEN TO ALL FRIARS BEFORE.

WELL, I HOPE I'M NICE,
AS YOU CALL IT,

TO EVERYONE
WHO COMES TO MY HOUSE.

CHECKMATE.
( laughs )

GOOD EVENING, PAPA.

LORD BRIGHTLINGSEA,
I'M VIRGINIA ST. GEORGE.

AND THIS...
IS MY SISTER ANNABEL.

CHARMED, MY DEARS,
CHARMED.

LORD BRIGHTLINGSEA.

MADAM.

OH, YES, OF COURSE.

GOOD LORD.

I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU.

IT'S DIFFICULT
FOR US CHAPS, YOU KNOW.

LADIES, WITH YOUR HAIR...

AND...

- SO ON...
- ( door opens )

( exasperated sigh )

MISS ST. GEORGE,
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE
TAKEN YOU FOR AN AMERICAN.

( dog panting )

( whistling )

( Lady Brightlingsea
clears throat )

( animal roars )

- OOH!
- ( silverware clangs )

OH, LORD!
SORRY!

DON'T WORRY, MY DEAR,
THE GREEN JUST AIN'T
WORTH EATING.

THE GIRLS WOULD LOVE
TO SEE THE RUBENS, PAPA.

AND THEY SHALL.
CERTAINLY.

WHICH ONE IS THE RUBENS?

Seadown:
GOOD LORD, I DON'T KNOW.

ISN'T IT THE SICKLY PINK ONE
IN THE OCTAGON ROOM?

YES, THAT'S IT.

( stomach gurgling )

Lady Brightlingsea:
AFTER DINNER, THE GIRLS
WILL SHOW YOU

THEIR PHOTOGRAPHS
OF THE RHINE.

- THE-THE RHINE?
- MM-HMM.

THE RHINE IS THE LONGEST--

NEARLY THE LONGEST RIVER
IN EUROPE.

IT RISES IN SWITZERLAND,
AND FORMS THE FRONTIER

BETWEEN SWITZERLAND
AND LIECHTENSTEIN.

- IT IS NAVIGABLE AS FAR AS--
- EH! CHA-CHA, GEORGINA.

( dogs panting )

( girls laughing, screaming )

THAT WAS AWFUL!

DID YOU EVER, EVER KNOW
ANYTHING SO AWFUL?

YES! EVERY OTHER DINNER TIME
AT ALL FRIARS.

NO!

THE ONLY THING I SAID
ALL NIGHT WAS "OOPS!"

( laughter )

LADIES, LADIES,
LOOK WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU!

ARE THEY REALLY
AS DULL AS THEY SEEM?

MMM.

THEY'RE MUCH WORSE.

YOU HAVE TO TAKE A PITCHFORK
TO THEM TO GET ANYTHING
OUT OF THEM.

HONESTLY, IF I DON'T GET
UP TO LONDON SOON,

I SHALL TURN WICKED.

CAN YOU UNDO ME, DARLING?
IN BACK HERE?

JUST LOOSEN IT UP.

OH, HURRY UP!

( laughter )

MY BABY'S GETTING DRUNK!

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- THANK YOU, DARLING. OH!

FEEL MUCH BETTER.

OH, WAIT--

WHAT ABOUT
THE RECTOR'S STOMACH RUMBLING?

- AND THE DOGS.
- THE DOGS!

NOW, WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF SEADOWN?

I THOUGHT HE LOOKED
A BIT SAD.

WELL, HE ALWAYS DOES,
POOR OLD SEADY--

- HE CAN'T HELP IT.
- MMM.

LORD KNOWS WHY HE'S HIS PARENT''
BLUE-EYED BOY.

AND MY RICHARD IS
THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY.

PITY I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
BEFORE I MARRIED.

- WOULD YOU HAVE SAID "NO"?
- I DON'T EXPECT SO.

- Annabel: WHERE IS HE?
- ( kicks foot )

WELL, HE CAN'T BE FISHING YET,
SO I WOULD SAY HE'S
AT THE RACES.

HE DOESN'T KEEP ME INFORMED
WHAT HE'S UP TO THESE DAYS.

NOW, IF ONLY SOME NICE,
LITTLE GIRL WOULD COME ALONG

AND HOLD UP HER HAND
TO SEADY.

( eruption of laughter )

DON'T LOOK AT ME!

WELL, YOU GIRLS MAY NOT KNOW
WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU,

BUT I AM ON THE LOOKOUT

FOR A NEW FRIEND.

SOMEONE WITH A LARGE
DISPOSABLE INCOME

WHO CAN'T QUITE THINK
HOW TO SPEND.

CONNIE!

OH, I'M SORRY,

YOU LITTLE PURITANS
HAVEN'T BEEN BROKEN IN YET.

MMM...

WELL, DON'T WORRY,
YOU'LL SOON COME DOWN
OFF YOUR HIGH HORSES.

IN FACT, TOMORROW,
YOU BETTER HOLD ONTO YOUR HEARTS

BECAUSE WE ARE GOING OVER
TO HONORSLOVE

TO HAVE TEA WITH GUY THWAITE
AND HIS FATHER SIR HELMSLEY,

WHO IS AN OLD HEARTBREAKER.

AND GUY IS ONE OF THE MOST
FASCINATING DETRIMENTALS
IN ALL OF ENGLAND.

WHAT'S A DETRIMENTAL?

IT'S A YOUNG MAN
THAT ALL THE WOMEN ARE MAD FOR,

BUT THEY CAN'T AFFORD
TO MARRY.

NOW THAT
I COME TO THINK OF IT,

GUY WOULD BE JUST PERFECT

TO RUN IN TANDEM
WITH THE RICH LORD I'M AFTER.

( door opens )

GOOD NIGHT, LADIES.

GOOD NIGHT, CONNIE.

( door closes )

ONE DAY I'M GOING
TO GET HER TO STOP

DROPPING THOSE STUPID HINTS
AND TELL ME WHAT IT'S
REALLY LIKE.

- WHAT WHAT'S LIKE?
- YOU KNOW...

AH! ANNABEL,
YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!

IF MOTHER HEARD YOU
SPEAKING LIKE THAT,
SHE WOULD LOCK YOU UP.

OW!

WOULD YOU GET OFF?

LOOK, SHE'S NOT WEARING
A SINGLE STONE.

YOU KNOW WHAT
MISS MARCH SAID,

THE ENGLISH THINK IT VULGAR
TO LIVE LARGELY, DEAR.

HMM.

ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT
THERE'S NO GAS?

IT'S KIND OF SPOOKY.

I WISH WE'D TOLD THE MAID
TO WAIT UP FOR US.

I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THE GAS.

I THINK ALL FRIARS
IS THE GRANDEST

AND MOST ROMANTIC PLACE
I'VE EVER SEEN.

CAN YOU IMAGINE
HOW MANY GENERATIONS OF PEOPLE

HAVE SLEPT IN THIS BED?

I WANT TO KNOW, GINNY...

I WANT
TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

Miss March:
SO YOU SEE,
MS. TESTVALLEY WAS QUITE RIGHT.

OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS,
COLONEL ST. GEORGE HAS
STEADILY BECOME

EXTREMELY WEALTHY.

BY FAIR MEANS, MISS MARCH,
OR FOUL?

LAST YEAR, THE COLONEL
POUNDED DOWN THE SHARES

OF THE NORTHERN STEEL COMPANY
FROM $28 TO 9,

AT WHICH POINT, HE BOUGHT
THE COMPANY OUT FOR A FRACTION
OF IT'S WORTH.

- HOW REALLY SHOCKING.
- ( chuckles )

IT IS I'M TOLD ACCEPTED PRACTICE
ON WALL STREET.

THE COLONEL IS
NOT ONLY THE SOLE OWNER
OF THE NORTHERN STEEL COMPANY,

BUT LAST JANUARY,
WENT ON TO BECOME

THE MAJORITY SHAREHOLDER
OF THE NEW YORK RAILROAD.

THE NEW YORK RAILROAD.

VERY GOOD, MISS MARCH.

AND THERE'S NO DENYING
THAT MISS ST. GEORGE
IS A BEAUTY.

UNFORTUNATELY,
SEADOWN PREFERS

A DARK, SHARP-WITTED GIRL,
ALWAYS HAS.

YOU SEEM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
IS IT QUITE?

- ( screams )
- ( laughter )

LADY RICHARD.

MISS ST. GEORGE,
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE
MR. THWAITE.

MISS ST. GEORGE.
PLEASE, DO COME IN.

- SEADY, HOW ARE YOU?
- GUY.

- I SHOWED
THE GIRLS THE GARDENS.
- THEY'RE LOOKING BEAUTIFUL.

DO COME
AND MEET MY FATHER.

HONORSLOVE IS CERTAINLY
MORE LOVELY THAN I COULD
IMAGINE, SIR HELMSLEY.

WELL, IT'S A GREAT PLEASURE
TO HAVE YOU HERE,
MISS ST. GEORGE.

- WELL, THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE MOST WELCOME.

( laughter )

- ( clapping )
- Sir Helmsley:
PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

CONNIE, WHY DID YOU SAY
THAT MR. THWAITE CAN'T
AFFORD TO MARRY?

BECAUSE GUY'S FATHER PLAYED DICE
WITH HIS INHERITANCE AND LOST.

PLAYED DICE?

WHEN GUY'S MOTHER DIED,
SHE LEFT HIM 20, MAYBE
50,000 POUNDS,

DEPENDING ON WHO'S
TELLING THE STORY.

WELL, GUY WAS ONLY 13,
SO THE FATHER TOOK THE MONEY

AND TRIED
TO INVEST IT FOR HIM--

HE LOST EVERY LAST PENNY.

MMM, A SHAME.

Guy:
LADIES, CAN I INTEREST YOU
IN A GLASS OF LEMONADE?

- Conchita: LEMONADE?
- AND VERY GOOD HEALTH.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH KINDLY.
- GOOD HEALTH TO YOU.

THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.

MISS ST. GEORGE...

STAY JUST A BIT.

I-I'D LOVE...

Annabel:
BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S THE MAGIC HOUR.

YOU SEE, IT'S BEEN
IN OUR FAMILY NOT JUST
FOR GENERATIONS,

BUT FOR CENTURIES.

EVERY TREE, EVERY STONE
IS PRECIOUS.

HONORSLOVE--
DOES IT HAVE A MEANING?

WELL, NO ONE REALLY KNOWS.

DO YOU KNOW THE POEM
BY LOVELACE?

HE WAS LEAVING HIS LADY
TO GO OFF TO THE WARS,

AND HE ENDS...

"I COULD NOT LOVE
THEE DEAR SO MUCH,

LOVE THY NOT HONOR MORE."

( chuckles )

I CAN SEE WHY CONCHITA SAYS
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
PLACE IN ENGLAND.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I SUPPOSE IF ONE
WERE MARRIED TO A WOMAN

ONE ADORED, ONE WOULD SOON
GET BEYOND HER BEAUTY.

THEN YOU UNDERSTAND?

UNDERSTAND?

I MEAN, ABOUT
THE BEYONDNESS OF THINGS.

YOU KNOW, I KNOW
THERE'S NO SUCH WORD, BUT--

NO, NO, NO, BUT--
THERE IS SUCH A FEELING.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
HOW STRANGE IT IS
FOR ME TO BE HERE.

WHEN I WAS LITTLE,
MY READING PRIMERS,
THEY WERE ALL ENGLISH.

I REMEMBER ONE CALLED
GUFFY SECONDRADER.

WE LIVED IN A TIMBER HOUSE
IN WEST VIRGINIA.

BUT MY BOOK,
IT WAS ALL LARKS

AND MILKMAIDS
AND FOXHUNTING.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHEN I WAS A BOY,

YOUR CIVIL WAR WAS
MY MOST PASSIONATE INTEREST.

MY PAPA FOUGHT
IN THE CIVIL WAR,

ON THE CONFEDERATE SIDE--

I THINK MY MOTHER
MARRIED BENEATH HER.

BUT OUR PAPA--
HE WAS VERY HANDSOME.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MADAM.
LISTEN, LISTEN.

( man singing in distance )

THAT'S MY FATHER SINGING.

HE'S TAKEN RATHER A SHINE
TO YOUR SISTER.

EVERYBODY DOES.

EVERYBODY?

DO YOU STAY LONG
AT ALL FRIARS,
MISS ST. GEORGE?

I'M AFRAID NOT.

WE HAVE TO GO
TO LONDON SOON.

NO, NO, NO,
THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE 'EM--

GOLDEN AND DIVINELY DULL.

OH, YOU MEAN THE ELDER
MISS ST. GEORGE, I TAKE IT.

BUT ABOUT AS
EXPENSIVE TO ACQUIRE

AS THE VENUS DE MILO

AND AS DIFFICULT TO FIT
INTO DOMESTIC LIFE.

WHAT DO YOU IMAGINE
THEY MAKE OF US?

I MEAN, BENEATH
THAT SURFACE GUSH,

THESE AMERICANS HAVE
A SORT OF RETICENCE.

I MEAN, THEY LOOK AND THEY SAY,
"WELL, ISN'T THAT JUST DIVINE?"

- BUT...
- ( rings bell )

YOU WONDER WHAT THE HELL
THEY'RE REALLY THINKING.

( laughing )

Guy: YES, IT'S FUNNY
HOW THINGS NEVER REALLY
WORK OUT AS PLANNED.

I REALIZE
I'VE DISAPPOINTED YOU.

DISAPPOINTED?
DISAPPOINTED?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

ON THE CONTRARY.

YOU IMAGINE I'D HAVE GOT
THROUGH THOSE YEARS OF DRUDGERY?

NO, TO STICK TO YOUR TRAINING
AS YOU DID,

HOW COULD I NOT ADMIRE THAT?

YOU KNOW, ENGINEERING IS...

IS NO CAREER
FOR A GENTLEMAN,

CERTAINLY NOT WHAT YOUR MOTHER
WOULD HAVE WANTED.

AND IT'LL NEVER MAKE
A WEALTHY MAN OF YOU.

NOT WORKING AT HOME,
PERHAPS, BUT...

- IF I WERE TO GO ABROAD--
- DON'T SPEAK OF GOING ABROAD.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
I DID WANT TO SPEAK OF.

NO, I WON'T HEAR OF IT.
PLEASE, NO.

SEE, I WAS BORN
WITH SUCH A PASSIONATE DESIRE

TO BE A MODEL OF
MY OWN CLASS, BUT THERE'S A--

THERE'S A CONTRADICTORY STREAK
IN MY NATURE AS YOU KNOW
ONLY TOO WELL.

SO WHAT HAVE I DONE INSTEAD?
I'VE TRANSLATED A LITTLE HORACE,

I'VE PAINTED A FEW LANDSCAPES,
I'VE HOBNOBBED WITH ARTISTS,

AND... ACTRESSES.

IN SHORT, BEEN NOTHING
BUT A BRILLIANT FAILURE.

SO, YOU SEE, I RELY ON YOU
TO MAKE UP FOR MY SHORTCOMINGS.

WELL, MAYBE I'LL TRY AND BE
A DISMAL SUCCESS, HMM?

( chuckles )

DEAR BOY, DEAR BOY,
SURELY IT'S THE AMBITION

OF EVERY EDUCATED ENGLISHMAN
TO SIT IN PARLIAMENT.

I COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE!
YOU KNOW IT'S ALWAYS BEEN
MY AMBITION.

A POLITICIAN NEEDS MONEY!

WELL, YOU'LL HARDLY
BE SHORT OF PATRONAGE.

I DON'T WANT PATRONAGE,
I WANT INDEPENDENCE!

I'M IN TO MAKE A FORTUNE,
NOT MARRY ONE.

OH...

A LITTLE UNFAIR.

BEDTIME, I THINK.

( glass clangs )

GOOD NIGHT, FATHER.

( door opens )

DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S COME AROUND.
HE KNOWS I HAVEN'T GOT
THE MONEY YET.

NOT YET.

OH...

I WILL HAVE IT.
I JUST DON'T HAVE IT NOW!

TELL THE RETCHED MAN
I CAN'T PAY HIM!

TELL HIM
I'LL SEE HIM NEXT WEEK.

TELL HIM I PROMISE,
NEXT WEEK.

YES, MA'AM.

WELL, IF YOU HAD
THOUGHT OF ME BEFORE,

I PROBABLY WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HELP.

WHEREAS NOW...

I HATE TO THINK A STRANGER'S
RUNNING ONE OVER MY BELOVED
LITTLE HOUSE,

BUT STILL...

I'M MOST AWFULLY GRATEFUL
TO YOU, JACKIE, TRULY I AM.

YOU'VE GOT ME OUT OF
A HORRIBLY TIGHT CORNER.

I WAS AT MY WIT'S END.

WHERE WILL YOU GO, MY DEAR?

OH, I SHALL SLIP AWAY
TO MY BROTHERS AND BE
BORED RIGID.

WELL, BEGGARS
CAN'T BE CHOOSERS.

SPEAKING OF WHICH,
SINCE THIS FAMILY IS
SO FRIGHTFULLY WEALTHY,

I'VE PUT MY RENT UP
TO 40 POUNDS.

I THINK THAT MIGHT BE SEEN
AS SOMEWHAT GRABBING, MY DEAR.

I AM GRABBING, DARLING,
I HAVE TO BE,

THEY'LL BE NONE THE WISER.

I CAN'T BE FOREVER
ASKING SEADOWN FOR MONEY.

I WANT TO BE A LIGHT
A BURDEN AS POSSIBLE TO HIM,
ESPECIALLY JUST NOW.

THAT'S SETTLED THEN.

OH, AND JACKIE,

I'M FORBIDDING SEADOWN
TO SET FOOT IN THE COTTAGE
WHILST I'M AWAY.

AMERICAN GIRLS
ARE SO PUSHY.

IF LADY RICHARD TRIES
TO COAX THEM DOWN,

YOU MUST SWEAR
TO LET ME KNOW.

AND I'LL SEE THAT
IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

BUT OF COURSE, MY DEAR.

WHOA.

CONNIE!

CONCHITA, HELLO!

OH MY GOODNESS,
IT'S LIZZY ELMSWORTH.

Conchita:
OH, LIZZY!

( screaming, laughing )

- I MISS ALL OF YOU SO!
- WHAT A DRESS!

YOU GUYS LOOK SO--
LOOK AT THIS!

OH, IS IT NEW?
IT'S NEW! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

I CAN'T BELIEVE
I SURVIVED IT!

COME, COME, LET'S RUN!

- IS IT WONDERFUL?
- YES!

I WANT TO HEAR
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY, LIZZY?
ISN'T IT THE PERFECT PLACE
FOR PARTIES?

IT'S HEAVEN.

WE COULD MOVE
THE FURNITURE TO THE SIDES.

HOW COOL AND COMFORTABLE
AND LAZY WE SHALL BE.

YOU WON'T MIND IF SOMETIMES
I RUN AWAY FROM HOME
TO JOIN YOU?

I PROMISE TO BRING
ALL THE BEST PEOPLE WITH ME.

I HOPE SO.

I SHALL MAKE INVITATIONS
TO RUNNYMEAD AS SOUGHT AFTER

AS CARDS FOR
THE ROYAL ENCLOSURE.

YOU MUST COME SEE VAL.

AND WE HAVE TO TALK TO MOTHER
AND MAKE SURE YOU CAN STAY!

- YES!
- VAL!

- ( screaming )
- MS. TESTVALLEY!

- LOOK WHO'S HERE-- IT'S LIZZY.
- Lizzy: MRS. ST. GEORGE!

WELL, ANOTHER BUCCANEER.

WHAT?

OH, THAT'S WHAT MISS MARCH
CALLS YOU-- THE BUCCANEERS.

- THE BUCCANEERS?
- YES.

WHY?

BECAUSE SHE SAYS
THE ENGLISH INVADED AMERICA,

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT!

( overlapping conversation )

THERE'S TEA
ON THE TERRACE.

WELL, LOVES,
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

SHALL WE ALL TURN PIRATE
AND DIVIDE THE SPOILS
BETWEEN US?

- MMM.
- AND YOU'LL BE OUR CAPTAIN.

OH, VERY WELL, I SHALL.

WE WILL BEAT ALL THE OTHER WOMEN
HANDS DOWN.

BECAUSE WE ALL
STICK TOGETHER.

DON'T PLAY
ANY LOWDOWN TRICKS.

TEA BREAK!

BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR,

WE SHALL HAVE ALL OF LONDON
IN OUR POCKETS.

( screaming, laughing )

LONDON!

( instrumental
theme music playing )