All language subtitles for Dinosaurs S02E19 Nuts to War - Part 1.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.DSNY.EN

Honey, I'm home.

The universe for 10, Art.

The universe for 10.
And the question is:

"How many planets
revolve around the Earth?"

One.

Jerry?

None, Art. The Earth
and the other planets

revolve around the sun.

Ooh, I'm sorry.

That's incorrect,
and it's heresy.

So we take away all your points
and we burn you at the stake.

Darn.

Boy. They're really
strict on this show.

Hey, where are all
the pistachio nuts?

Fran, can you bring some
more pistachios in here?

We're all out, Earl.

- What?
- That was the last jar.

Fran, I don't ask
for much from you,

a clean house, three
square meals a day,

gardening, raising the kids,

a little light plumbing,

scheduled
maintenance on the car.

So when I ask you to keep
a few pistachios on hand,

I think maybe you could take a little
time to get out of your bubble bath

and get down to the market.

The market didn't have
any pistachio nuts, Earl.

I even called three other stores.
They don't have them either.

You expect me to believe

that for some mysterious reason

there's no more pistachio
nuts to be found anywhere?

We interrupt our programming to
bring you this DNN Special Report.

Pistachios: Why Aren't
There Any To Be Found?

I'm waiting, Fran.

Hello, I'm Howard Handupme.

Today the dinosaurs
who walk on all fours

encroached on the southeast
bank of the great swamp,

which divides our two nations.

This area's home to most
of our pistachio nut trees,

or bushes, or whatever
it is they grow on.

Due to this, our flow of pistachios
has been cut off indefinitely.

A government spokesman commenting on
the situation told us this is no big deal

and will certainly not
escalate into anything serious.

Tonight, a sweeping
miniseries of epic proportions.

One family caught up
in the turbulent winds

of prehistory's
greatest conflict,

featuring a cast of 11 and
shot entirely on location

in one really big sound
stage at a cost of, well,

a lot more than we thought
when we first started.

For the first time on
network television.

Nuts to War.

Starring Earl "Pug" Sinclair,

Robbie "The Rebel" Sinclair.

Special appearance by
Baby "$29.95" Sinclair,

Charlene "Gimme" Sinclair

and Fran Sinclair as "The Mama."

Part One: Nuts in Jeopardy.

All right, we'll just
eat pecans for a while.

Pecans? Everyone knows
pecans are a baking nut.

They're hardly
suited to snacking.

All right, then cashews.

Cashews come already shelled.
Where's the challenge in that?

Why should I compromise
on my snacking needs?

Dad, Dad, you're
talking about nuts.

If you take a minute to think
about it, you'll see it's no big deal.

They are threatening
our very way of life!

It's naked aggression,
pure and simple.

- Then we got to get
naked right back at 'em.
- Yeah.

Now take that, you
four-legged nut grabber!

Wow, I've never seen
you so fired up, Earl.

Yeah, well, no one has ever
cut off my pistachios before.

Eat bark, you quad-pods!

Hey, hey, guys, you know
why four-leggers wear hats?

No. Why?

So their wives know
which end to kiss.

Hey, guys, you know why
four-leggers can't rob a bank?

- Why?
- Because they're unarmed.

- Hey, you know what
the latest news is?
- No, why?

I read pistachios are gonna
be 50 cents more a pound.

Fifty cents! You guys slay me!

- Wake up.
- Roy, it's not a joke.

Fifty cents a pound?

- Well, I won't pay it!
- No.

That's an increase of...

Well, actually, Fran
does the shopping.

I also read the elder-in-chief's
considering nationwide nut rationing.

Yeah, he's gonna make
a speech about it at 10:00.

Hey, do you think Mr. Richfield
will let us watch it on his TV?

Come on. In times
of crisis like this,

everyone forgets their
differences and comes together.

- Come on, let's go!
- Yeah! Come on.

What's this, a strike?

- No.
- No.

That's it, you lousy
green trash, you're fired!

Uh, sir, we were wondering
if you were gonna watch

the chief elder's
speech on the TV.

Well, since this affects your
snacks as much as mine, all right.

It's the least I can do after blowing
your pension fund at the track.

- Hmm?
- Oh!

And now a message
from our elder-in-chief.

- Hi.
- Hi.

As you know the dinosaurs
who walk on all fours

have invaded our swamp
and seized our pistachios.

Now, I know a lot of you
are upset about the nuts,

but this is not about nuts.

This is bigger than nuts,

bigger than all snack foods.

- This is about principle...
- Mm-hmm, right.

About justice, about truth.

It's a complex
issue, but luckily,

can be boiled down
to a simple slogan:

"We Are Right."

- That's catchy!
- Easy to pronounce.

And comforting too.

The time has come for
bold and decisive action.

And so, today, we launch
Operation "We Are Right."

Tomorrow we'll select a bunch of big,
strong guys to go down to that swamp

and hiss and spit at those
four-leggers until they go away.

Now, who's with me?

Well, uh...

Naturally, I'm not
talking about sending

productive members of society.

It'll be mostly teenage
boys and the poor.

Oh, good. This
just affects our kids.

- Glad I voted for him.
- Yeah.

Our cause is just,

our duty is clear

and our mouths overflow

with the spittle
of righteousness.

Please join me in praying
for the safe and dry return

of our boys.

Oh, sure.

Oh, brother.

- Oh, what a leader.
- He's no wimp.

Yeah. What a great distraction
from complicated domestic issues.

Yep.

Gentlemen, today's
a day of celebration.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

I'm going to tie one on.

- What a boss!
- Hey!

Your four, get back to work!

Oh, right, right.

I'm going, I'm going.

- Did you finish your juice?
- Uh-huh.

Ah, then you can have a yummy.

Caveman cracker! Yay!

- Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
- There.

- Now, what do you say?
- More!

- No, that's not it.
- Um...

Come on. You know what to say.

I'm waiting for the magic word.

Gimme!

What's the magic word?

Why? You don't know it either?

I know it, and so do you.

Heh!

Waah!

No. Crying isn't going to help.

My cookie's gone!

Because you ate it.

No! The cookie creature took it.

Oh, right. A cookie
creature took it.

Don't talk down to me!

This is between you
and the cookie creature,

so you two will
have to work it out.

Oh, well, thanks for nothing.

Honey, I'm home.

Oh, Earl, did you hear
the elder's speech?

Hey, what a leader. Did you see
how fast he made up that slogan?

Yes. I think everything's
happening awfully fast.

Robbie's already been called
down to the selective service office.

And soon they'll be shipping him off
to some foreign swamp somewhere.

Please, sweetheart. Don't you think our
elder-in-chief hasn't thought this through?

You think he'd rush headlong into a
flashy and macho display of aggression

in an election year?
Where's the logic in that?

But Earl, you know what
happens when males get together

and start posturing.

I'm just afraid this "We Are
Right" thing could get out of hand.

They're just going to be doing
a little hissing and spitting.

This is our government.

I think our government
knows what it's doing.

Wouldn't it be better if we dress
like trees and bushes to blend in?

You're thinking
too hard, Scooter.

Let's just get up to the
front and let the loogies fly.

Just look at him.

- Ready to strike terror
into the hearts of the enemy.
- Dad...

I like the cut of
your blouse, soldier.

- I look like an idiot.
- Son, have some respect.

That uniform was designed by the
elder-in-chief's unmarried brother Julian.

- Yeah...
- OK. Now...

Everybody say "victory."

- Negotiation.
- What kind of talk is that?

I'm just asking if anybody's
tried talking to the other side

before we all get
whipped into hysteria?

Hey, in situations like this, the
only rational response is hysteria.

Now get your green butt down
to the swamp and do your duty.

Ours is not to
reason why, Scooter.

Say your goodbyes.
We got to get a move on.

You have to go now?

Sorry. We gotta get out there
and kick some four-footed fanny.

That's what I like to hear.

Well, this is it, boys.

- Now, Robbie, - Huh?

I don't mind you
spitting for a good cause,

but if they start shoving
and using foul language,

I want you to call us... then go
stand in front of the battlefield

and we'll pick you up.

- Mom...
- Oh...

Oh!

Mom, don't worry.
I'll be all right.

Good luck, boys!
Give them one for me!

- Will do.
- Good lads.

Fran, our cause is just.

No harm can come to him

as long as he wears
our flag on his uniform.

Goodbye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

- Goodbye, son.
- Come on.

Stay dry!

Make us proud, boys!

And now here's DNN
correspondent Howard Handupme.

Good evening. I'm
Howard Handupme.

Today our troops saw their
first hissing and spitting action,

turning back an advanced
squad of evil four-leggers,

proving just how
right we really are.

We have this videotape
of today's action,

but our friends in the military
thought it might be too disturbing

to show at dinnertime.

Disturbing? What does that mean?

You know what boys are like.

One of them probably
mooned the camera.

So instead of actual footage,

we now offer this
dramatic recreation.

The day began with
intense saturation spitting,

with the sky sometimes dark from all
the hock-tooeys flying back and forth.

Take that, you
four-legged pansy!

Oh, no, I'm a weak
sissy compared to you.

I'll run away to my mommy.

You'd better, because there's
more where that came from!

The battle went a lot like that.

Hmm.

Cookie creature, I've
got something for you.

It's yummy!

I'm not paying attention.

What's that?

Hot! Don't touch!

Aah!

What are you doing here?
You must want a bath.

No, no, no! No
bath, Mama! No bath!

No, no! Oh...

He's dead meat.

Mom, Grandma, there's
good news from the front.

Is it something about Robbie?

Robbie again.

All you're ever interested in
is Robbie. Robbie, Robbie...

- Charlene!
- All right.

They want girls to go
entertain the troops,

and they picked me
to be one of them!

We're gonna do a big
musical show at the front.

Isn't that dangerous?

Well, it's true most
musicals do fail,

but we've got some great
songs... and costumes.

- See?
- Mmm.

Yeah. What does USO stand for?

The Uninhibited
Sisters of Other Guys.

We're going to bring a little bit of good
old home to a lot of lonely kids out there,

and I get to be out of school!

- Lonely kids.
- La-la!

Those poor boys
so far from home.

Don't worry, Frannie.

The whole nation's
praying for their safe return.

In these difficult times,

with our sons away fighting
for all we hold sacred,

we here on the home front must
summon our courage, pray for our boys

and through it all we
must stick together.

And when you need
things to stick together,

think of Wacky Glue!

Whether it's wood,
plastic, porcelain or glass,

Wacky Glue bonds
instantly and permanently.

Wacky Glue: the official adhesive
of Operation "We Are Right."

I'm Major Savings.

I'm Major Values.

And we both support our troops

by battling high prices
at Stan's House of Stereo.

Remember, no poor son of a gun
ever saved money by buying retail.

He saved money by making the
other poor son of a gun buy retail.

So march on down to
Stan's House of Stereo.

And that's an order!

Mom? Do you ever feel,
you know... not patriotic?

It bothers me that these commercials
are trivializing something so serious.

Hmm. Well, nobody's
really stupid enough

to fall for that tacky
commercialization.

Hey, Frannie, look
at all this neat stuff

they're selling on the streets.

Earl, don't you think
that's in poor taste?

What do you mean, poor taste?

This thing lights up. Nice, huh?

Did I miss the
battle highlights?

Oh, I hope Robbie's out on the
front line where the cameras are.

Our leaders are
extremely optimistic,

as everything proceeds
exactly according to plan.

I've just been handed
a battle update.

- Oh.
- Hmm.

Oh, no! This can't be.

Dear God in
heaven, say it isn't so!

Please, no!

It's nothing. Everything's fine.

Now here's Dwayne with sports.

What happened? It was
something bad, wasn't it?

Why aren't they telling
us what's going on?

I tried to enlist, but they wouldn't
take me because I can't salute.

Tough break.

Boy, I'd be there in a second
if I wasn't badly needed

in the civilian sector.

Danish, anyone?

Hey, guys, it's not that
I don't blindly believe

all our government's saying,

but what do you think of the
news blackout all of a sudden?

What are you saying, Earl?

I'm just saying that
after all the good news,

all of a sudden they're
not telling us anything.

You don't suppose the other side
has hissing and spitting superiority?

What are you saying, Earl?

Yeah. I hear our side's
gonna start throwing sticks.

Sticks? Somebody
could lose an eye.

What are you saying there, Earl?

You got a problem with our
government policies, Sinclair?

- No, no,
I was just thinking...
- Thinking?

Hey, if everyone
sat around thinking,

we'd never get an operation
like this off the ground.

Of course, maybe you'd
like that, eh, Sinclair?

Yeah, you don't by any chance
walk around on all fours at home?

Let's see your palms.

- When you buy socks,
how many are in a pack?
- Answer him.

Hey, guys, Earl's no quad lover.

He's got a boy at the front.

Tell them, Earl. You're
not thinking things.

There's nothing going
on in that head of yours.

No. Hey, guys, you know me.
I'm the last person to start thinking.

So, you still believe we
are right, don't you, Earl?

Of course I do.

- All right.
- Yeah. Thousand
points of light.

So, Earl, Danish,

or not?

Oh...

What's everybody else having?

- Ah!
- Ah!

Good fella.

- There. Perfect.
- Oh.

Ma, I'll be fine.

It's just that first Robbie
goes off, now you.

It's hard for a mother to get
used to her children being spit on.

Fran, I'm sure the
girls will be just fine.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, hold the phone.

What's that four-legger
doing in my house?

I just came in for
a cup of coffee.

Oh, a cup of classified
military secrets, more like it.

Hey, Roy, check her
necklace for microphones.

OK.

Hi, Roy.

Uh... heh heh.

Yeah. Uh... uh...

Um, this puts me in a bit
of a quandary, pally-boy.

Monica might be an
enemy of the state,

but I got a crush
on her big time.

Earl, you're overreacting.
Monica's our friend.

Yeah.

Count her legs, Fran.
They spell enemy-e!

Earl, I have lived on this side
of the swamp since I was 12.

Oh, sure, gathering
intelligence for the enemy.

- Well, you won't find
any intelligence here!
- Nope.

I am insulted and offended

that you could even
question my allegiance.

Oh, then I guess you wouldn't
mind taking a little loyalty oath.

- What sort of oath?
- Oh, it's very simple.

Raise your right hand.

I don't have a right hand.

Well, what do you know?

And now, a DNN Special
Report, Live: From the Front.

Welcome to the
first press briefing

of Operation "We Are Right."

We'll start by opening up the floor to
questions. Feel free to ask anything.

It is important that you feel

there is open and
honest communication

with the military.

Yes?

Sir, over here!

How's our side doing, sir?

- That was not on the list!
- Oh!

Oh, sorry, sir. How
about, uh... number three?

Excellent question. Are we pleased
by how well our troops are performing?

The answer: yes!

- Great!
- That's better.

- Next question.
- Please don't construe this
as being in any way critical,

but is there a way to shorten
the slogan "We Are Right"?

We have to write it down a lot.

Could we just call it W-A-R?

How would you
pronounce a thing like that?

Well, I guess it
would be... "whar."

No, no, no. It would be "wayr."

"Waar." "Whaar."

General, you said there's been
no escalation in the fighting,

yet we have a videotape here

showing the use of dirt
clods on the battlefield!

- Whoa.
- They're throwing dirt clods?

Well, let 'em. Our boys are
going to be throwing sticks.

- Sticks?
- Clam up.

Huh? What?

Someone could put out an eye!

This whole thing's
gotten way out of hand.

Earl, I want you to go to the
front and bring Robbie home.

Are you kidding?
I can't go up there.

Why not? Our son is in danger.

Frannie, it's a
military operation.

No one's allowed up there, no
mommies, no daddies. Just soldiers.

- And USO girls, like me.
- Hmm.

- This is humiliating.
- Well, sure. It's your first time.

Next week, Dinosaurs'
epic miniseries continues.

As their lives are
plunged even deeper

into the swirling vortex of war,

each member of
the Sinclair family

struggles to maintain sanity

in a world gone mad.