All language subtitles for Dinosaurs S02E16 The Clip Show.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.DSNY.EN

Honey, I'm home.

Hello, I'm Sir David Tushingham.

Behind me, a desolate landscape.

Arid, stark, and unwelcoming.

A hostile environment
of relentless heat,

foreboding rock
and unfriendly dirt.

But 60 million years ago,

this was a lush
tropical landscape,

teeming with life, crammed
with exotic vegetation.

With insects as
big as your head,

and mushrooms as big as
your head with a large hat.

And ruling over it all,

the most fearsome creatures
the world has ever known.

Who were these
so-called dinosaurs?

Where did they come
from? Where did they go?

And why do these
immense creatures,

who ruled the world
for millions of years,

end up as decorations
on children's pajamas?

Very good.

Off you go.

Tonight, we will answer
these and other questions

as we try to debunk the
myths, strip away the illusions

and liposuck the
fatty misconceptions

from the thighs of history.

Come on! What does
this have to do with me?

A meteor three times
the size of Earth,

is heading towards
us in a collision course

that will result in the
extinction of all life

on this planet.

This just in.

No, it's not.

Here, beneath the ancient
soil of the Serengeti,

we find these enormous bones.

Too large for any
dog to have buried,

they must be the remains
of the great dinosaurs.

If only these bones could talk,

if they had but tongues and
little lips and you could say,

"Hello, bone. Tell
us what happened."

But these bones do not speak.

At least, not loudly
enough for us to hear.

So we can only surmise

what life was like
60 million years ago.

It was then,

during the dawn of
the Jurassic period,

that the world first witnessed

the birth of this most
terrifying creature.

Oh, God.

Oh, God!

Ta-da!

Oh! Ooh! Whoa, I'm on the floor.

Oh, it's adorable.

Whoa, I'm naked.

Who's the mama?
Where's the mama?

Come here, you sweet thing.

Oh, hi. How ya doin'?
How ya doin'? How ya doin'?

Ferocious, bloodthirsty,
tyrannical beasts,

dinosaurs would as
soon rip your back off

as give you the time of day.

Here is nature at
its most savage,

creatures capable of
unspeakable acts of violence.

I'm going to bite you now.

Aah!

Now, this bat may be a
little too heavy for you.

Ow!

Not the mama!

I should have seen that coming.

Oh!

Fortunately, that
didn't hurt a bit.

Duh! Uhh.

It's like a dream.
Somebody pinch me.

Doh!

I love you.

Earl, get your head out
of his mouth right now.

He started it.

Uh-uh.

Look at him talking
with his mouth full again.

Roy, if you bite my
husband's head off...

Ahh!

But of all the dinosaurs,

none was so feared
as the triceratops.

From the Latin
"tri," meaning three,

"cera," meaning horn,

and "tops," meaning
boss or employer.

Suggestions! Want 'em! Now!

- Well...
- Well, I... Well, I...

All right.

Let me see which one of
you I wanna hear from first.

Oh, please. No. No. No. No.

Not me. Not me. Not me.
Not me. Not me. Please.

I think...

I pick... you!

Certainly, dinosaurs were large.

How large, you ask?

As large as buildings.

What kind of buildings, you ask?

Big downtown office buildings
with many levels of parking

and impressive rotating
restaurants on top.

How did the
dinosaurs get so big?

Well, one theory
is they ate a lot

and they exercised very little.

So for these enormous,
building-sized creatures

finding sufficient
food to sustain life

was a constant struggle.

You can have a
frozen dinner, Earl.

We've got a frozen
dinner right here.

Oh, blecchh!

Aren't you hungry? Your
appetizer is getting cold.

Yo, look here, chunky,
just because you can't sleep,

doesn't mean you've
gotta disturb me.

Duh, no, uh...

Then tuck me in. Yeah.

Take me out of the
refrigerator at this time of night,

I'll lose my space.

Hey, kiss me good night.

Hmm? Oh.

And don't be putting
me in no vegetable bin.

I wake up in the
vegetable bin I'll come out

and kick your big,
flabby dinosaur butt

all up and down...

This constant quest for food

struck mortal fear in the
hearts of all smaller creatures.

Indeed, no sight on
Earth was more terrifying

than a voracious herd
of hungry dinosaurs.

Yeah, that's lunch.

- Spit that out!
- Ow!

It's going back
to the restaurant.

Hey, I had a hat.

Oh. Ah. Here you go.

Yeah. Thanks.

You're disgusting me
with the way you chew

- with your mouth open.
- Huh?

I'm telling you, I
can see your lunch,

and your lunch can see me.

- Nah.
- How you doing?

Will you tell him
it's disgusting.

Listen, I hate to be critical,
but I'm gonna have to agree.

And let me tell
you, you've got one

major plaque build-up back here.

Huh?

Oh, jeez! Swallow it,
spit it out, do something!

Yeah, make up your mind.

Ooh.

Whoa! Man, do I need a shower.

Earl, you hurt my feelings

and embarrassed
me in front of my lunch.

Ooh! Ooh!

This is it, boy. Bon appétit.

- Dad, I don't want to.
- Eat him.

I'm not even hungry.

Put him in your mouth and chew.

You can't make me.

Hey, what's with the kid?

Uh, nothing, nothing's
wrong with my kid.

- He's a veggo, isn't he?
- Hey, hey!

Will you just eat him and
let's go home, Robbie?

No.

You know, my son tried
the same thing at his age.

"Why do I have to eat
the other creatures, Dad?

What's so important
about the food chain?"

- What'd you do?
- I ate him.

- I like it.
- I'm tough, but I'm fair.

It's not an exaggeration to say

that the dinosaur's life was
defined by his search for food.

And when food was scarce,

the ravenous dinosaur
was capable of anything.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

Mmm.

Come. Come.

Ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Here is an unexpected
and exciting find.

Bones, perhaps
70 million years old,

and unlike any we
have found elsewhere.

They are small,
delicate, almost bird-like.

Perhaps this is a new species.

But why here in this one
spot and not anywhere else?

This find might
call into question

all we think we know about
these amazing creatures.

We'll be back.

Hello, and welcome back.

Understanding the
mystery of the dinosaurs

is much like putting together
a complex jigsaw puzzle.

Many pieces are
easy to assemble,

others more difficult.

Still others fall off the card
table of science entirely

and are lost under
the sofa of obscurity

or sucked up by the
vacuum cleaner of ignorance

or chewed up and
made unrecognizable

by the disobedient dog of time.

If only Earth's distant past

came in a box with
a picture on the lid,

then we could so easily
answer all our questions.

For example,
scientists now speculate

the dinosaur may
have had two brains,

one in the head,
the other in the tail.

If this is true,

it means, in fact,
that dinosaurs

were twice as intelligent
as we previously thought.

All right, who filled in the
holes in my bowling ball?

Oh, never mind.
Here's some more.

Hmm, what is it?

Well, it's obviously
a suggestion box.

Hello. This is Roy.
What do you suggest?

As you can see,

I have separated all
known dinosaur wisdom

into three categories:

Animal, vegetable, rocks.

Well, what about fire?

Vegetable.

What about water?

Water is the opposite of fire,

which we previously
established as a vegetable.

What's the opposite
of a vegetable? Fruit.

So water is a fruit.

Fruit is not a vegetable,

so it has to be either
an animal or a rock.

We know it's not an animal.
Therefore, fruit is a rock.

Sometimes, on a
paleontological dig

such as this, we unearth
an artifact so unusual,

so unexplainable,

an artifact that so challenges
our fundamental beliefs

that we're tempted to
put it back in the ground,

cover it up and dig
somewhere else.

Here is something we're
covering up right now.

A moment, please.

Here are the bones
of a group of dinosaurs

huddled around
this mysterious cube.

What was this box?

What made it so
important, so compelling,

that these gargantuan creatures

sat around it until they died?

We want to watch television.

And now that we have cable,

our TV's become a
rocket sled to adventure.

Buckle up, kids! Yeah!

Hi, and welcome
to The Hat Channel,

24 hours a day of hat news,

hat features and hat happenings.

Pangaea's watching ABC,

the Antediluvian
Broadcasting Company.

I always felt I was an herbivore
trapped in a carnivore's body.

Cross-eaters, today
at four on Raptile.

Now, listen, Ugh,

I'm expecting an important
package this afternoon.

So whatever you
do, don't open it.

I won't, Woodrow.

Hilarious hijinks with
that talking caveman,

this afternoon on Mr. Ugh.

♪ I am Mr. Ugh ♪

Today at four.

It's television.

They say whatever they want.

Television is responsible for the
utter degradation of our society.

We should write letters.

- Mom?
- What?

Get a life.

Welcome back to DTV.

You're in the middle of a
weekend of macho idiot rock.

That's right. All weekend long,

superficial adolescent
male posturing

and shallow, meaningless songs.

Cool.

This special weekend is
brought to you by BEER.

Well, as you can see,
we've got ourselves

an active super-continent
this morning.

In the north, violent volcanoes,

including one
particularly big boomer

that ought to rip the
Tigris-Euphrates Valley wide open.

So if you've got
relatives there,

kiss 'em goodbye.

Once again,

it's time to learn about
science on Ask Mr. Lizard.

- Hi, kids.
- Hi, Mr. Lizard.

Hi, Mr. Lizard. What are
we going to learn today?

Well, Timmy, what do
you think would happen

if we mix potassium nitrate...

Oh!

Charcoal and sulfur?

Hmm. Gee,
Mr. Lizard. I don't know.

We're gonna need another Timmy.

Aah!

Say it.

We're going to
need another Timmy.

Yay!

Gee, Mr. Lizard,

what should I do
with the nitroglycerin?

We're gonna need another Timmy.

Well, Timmy, you just
pour it into the blender there

while I get behind
this lead shield.

OK.

Say it.

We're gonna need another Timmy.

I've never seen a
real jet engine before.

Keep looking.

OK, but I don't think
it's going to work.

I mean, nothing's happening...

say it!

We're gonna need another Timmy.

I don't want the kids to think.

I want the kids to watch
safe, little situation comedies

with time-tested,
repetitive story lines.

Coming this fall on ABC.

He's a big-city
dinosaur detective

who leaps through time to
adopt seven interracial children.

She's a ghost with seven
interracial ghost children of her own.

They're moving to the country
to become district attorneys.

And watch the sparks
fly when Mother moves in.

It's all Way Too Complicated!
Wednesdays at eight.

Wow!

Jeez. More of the same.

And so, we leave this artifact

for future generations
of paleontologists

to dig up, ponder over,

become frustrated with
and then bury again.

Oh, thank you, Miss Honeywell.

You're doing a splendid job.

You're capable, efficient,

very professional.

Sex.

For the dinosaur, mating
was an elaborate ritual.

Hey! Hey!

Look at the tail on that one.

Lift it, don't drag
it, sweetheart!

So, Mom, when I walk,

do I swing it back and
forth or do I just let it drag?

Nice girls don't swing.

So boys like that?

They're crazy for it.

Mother.

Sweetheart.

Just swing it a little...
until you get married.

Then you can put it away.

And even though young Robbie

was caught with his
pants down, so to speak,

he was merely pursuing
the female of the species.

I'm sure even you, as a youth,

fell prey to a well-turned tail.

Am I right?

Well, I may have played
love's fool once or twice.

Aah!

Wanna make more of an
impression with the ladies?

From time immemorial,
dinosaurs have known

there's only one way
to a woman's heart.

It's not flowers.

It's not candy.

Yes, it's the mating dance.

Ahh. Mm-mm.

Ahh. Ahh.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

♪ Doo doo ♪

♪ Doo doo doo da ♪

Fran?

Male. Female.

To the untrained eye, they're
virtually indistinguishable.

But within the dinosaur family,

gender roles are
quickly established

and rigidly maintained.

Charlene, you are now my son.

Thanks, Daddy.

Frannie, could you just for one
evening forget you're a female

so I could get
romantic with you?

Uh, Dad, when's Mom
coming back from Grandma's?

When she's recuperated from you.

Until then, I'm the mother.

OK, Mom, can I go
to a movie tonight?

Not a chance.

Dad said I could.

Uh... He really did?

Mm-hmm.

Dad, I had a late lunch.
I'll see you later, OK?

Where do you think you're going?

Out with the guys to
mark some territory.

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

I slaved over a hot oven

making a nice
dinner for you kids,

and now you're gonna sit at
this table and eat that dinner

and express proper
gratitude to your mother-father!

Night.

Hey, you don't think I'm
gonna let go of this table

and come after you two?

You're playing with fire here.

I'm telling you,
you're playing with fire!

No, I'm playing with fire.

What?

Ooh!

No!

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Ooh.

- Daddy.
- What?

- Hot.
- Oh!

Where we going?

Again!

Children.

Like all animals,
dinosaurs cherish them.

Give me that!

Dinosaurs cherished
their young...

That's mine!

Looked forward to the
birth of each offspring

with eager anticipation.

What I'm trying to say is that

life holds such
enormous possibilities

as long as there's
nothing inside that egg.

In return for the love

and protection they
gave their young,

the dinosaur parents
demanded complete respect

and obedience.

Not the mama! Not the mama!

Not the mama! Not the mama!

Not the mama! Not the mama!

You do that one more time

and I'm gonna throw
you across the room!

Not the mama!

Whee! Oof!

Again!

Want to give Daddy a kiss?

Not the mama! Not the
mama! Not the mama!

Not the mama! Not the mama!

That is starting to bother me.

Not the mother. Not the mother.

No, that's not it at all.

Good morning, my
family who loves me.

Not the mama.

All right, that ends right now.

I've had it up to here
with "not the mama."

I'm not "not the
mama." I'm your daddy.

You only get one, buster,

and that is what you're
gonna call me: Daddy.

Now say "Daddy."

Say "Daddy."

OK. All right. All right.

Say "Da."

Da...

- Say "dee."
- Dee.

- Da...
- Da...

- Dee.
- Dee.

- Daddy.
- Daddy.

- Frannie!
- Daddy.

- Fran!
- Daddy.

He loves me! Listen to him!

Daddy! Daddy!

♪ Da-da-daddy
da-da-daddy daddy ♪

♪ Not the mama ♪

And so our trek through
ancient times is complete.

But one question
remains unanswered:

What destroyed the dinosaurs?

Perhaps it was their own failure
to adapt to a changing planet.

With their tiny,
embarrassingly small brains,

they couldn't have known

that their environment
was changing around them

and that they
must change with it.

Will the same fate befall us?

Impossible.

We humans are clearly
capable of learning from the past

and avoiding such
devastating ecological demise.

Compared to the dinosaurs,

we may be short, but
we're not short-sighted.

This is Sir David Tushingham.

Good night.

Professor, what do you want
us to do with all this trash?

Well, how do I know?
We're in a desert.

Just dump it somewhere.

Let's dump.