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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:06,920 Communication Of Love by CLR Theory 2 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,000 SEAGULLS SQUAWK, DOG BARKS 3 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,960 # I missed the mark there 4 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,400 # I broke your heart there 5 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:26,760 # And when I did it I felt a little lost myself 6 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,760 # So what's the point then 7 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,920 # In being a mess when 8 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:36,840 # Seeing you smiling is the best part of every weekend? 9 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:44,200 # Ooh, catching all your kisses 10 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:51,800 # Ooh, holding you in places 11 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,760 # I don't wanna miss this 12 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:03,280 # Cos I have got a headache just from looking at you 13 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:09,040 # I have got a headache just from looking at... # 14 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,440 DOORBELL RINGS 15 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,800 I'll get it, then. 16 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,200 Hello. 17 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,200 Steve. 18 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,840 Wasn't expecting you to be here. 19 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,960 Ah, no, I'm just back for the week. 20 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,920 Why are you... Why are you here? 21 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,720 Oh, Steve! 22 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,280 Oh, it's nice to see you. 23 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,440 Well, come on in. 24 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,040 Oh, okey-dokey, aye. 25 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,680 What? 26 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,520 He offered to help me with the garden. 27 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,680 So he just had to help today, did he, my ex-boyfriend? 28 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,520 He has been offering for weeks and this is his day off. 29 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,560 Oh, I bet. 30 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,600 Cognitive behavioural therapy, or CBT, is a talking therapy 31 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,920 that can help us change the way we think and behave. 32 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:33,680 The first step is building an awareness of our own thoughts. 33 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,960 Let me just write down some of the steps we'll be taking. 34 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,000 Look... 35 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,680 ..I didn't know her mum didn't know. 36 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,600 How could you not know? 37 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,120 Because she never told me. 38 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,640 So that bit isn't my fault. 39 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:54,480 It's not exactly ideal, is it? 40 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,960 When you think of all the ways that you tell your mum 41 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,320 about your sexuality... 42 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,040 We look to distinguish the difference between facts 43 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,240 and assumptions. 44 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,640 But I... I'm trying to listen. 45 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,520 By consciously... Please. ..and consistently challenging 46 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,080 our thoughts, we are in essence trying to change the way we think. 47 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:17,240 And if we can change how we think, we can change how we behave. 48 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,040 You will all be familiar with CBT from your meetings 49 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,120 with your social workers - 50 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,960 though it's important to say CBT is not a one size fits all, 51 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,280 so be patient with finding what works for you. 52 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:33,040 And I encourage you to be supportive of each other in this process. 53 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:35,960 Now, previously, we've worked 54 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,720 on identifying our individual triggers 55 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,480 and ways we can tell we are getting angry. 56 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,520 Keep those in mind for each of you as we go through this next exercise. 57 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,000 If you feel provoked, 58 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,760 it's important to establish what you're assuming about the situation. 59 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,400 You know, you don't have to do this. 60 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,040 It only takes an afternoon. 61 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,480 And your folks were always so lovely to me, so... 62 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,840 Sometimes I worry you're too nice. 63 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,040 Me too. 64 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,040 I haven't, erm... 65 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,680 ..seen you since I had the... 66 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,080 No, I... 67 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:21,880 I'm sorry you had to do that. 68 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,280 Yeah. 69 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:27,000 I never... I never said anything to your mum. 70 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,520 Thanks. 71 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,680 I'm not sure she'd... 72 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,240 ..approve. 73 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,640 Yeah. 74 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,840 I still think part of her wishes that we were still... 75 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,400 You know? 76 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,120 Yeah, I know. 77 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,240 Here. 78 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,640 Ta. 79 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,960 I don't know if you've heard, but I've met someone. 80 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,600 And... 81 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:53,920 Oh, she's lovely, aye. 82 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,920 And I'm working at the golf course now. 83 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,960 Assistant manager.Mm. 84 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,040 That's nice. 85 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,600 Are you all right? You don't... 86 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,440 ..seem yourself. 87 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,320 Yeah, I'm all right. 88 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,560 I think. I just... 89 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,280 You know, I think it was a really brave thing you did. 90 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,440 Deciding not to keep the baby. 91 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,160 It takes a lot of guts. 92 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,320 To know what you have to do, and do it. 93 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,600 You think? 94 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,480 Aye. 95 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,360 I think you're probably braver than you realise. 96 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,720 Thanks. 97 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,400 That's a nice thing to say. 98 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,880 And since when have you started drinking tea? 99 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:38,080 Oh, no, I don't, but your mum never takes no for an answer, so... 100 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,520 ..I just pour it in the lavender when she's gone. 101 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,720 Theo? 102 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,280 Theo, wait, please. 103 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,680 Please, look. I'm... 104 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,040 I'm sorry. I've messed up. 105 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,920 I wasn't thinking through what I was... 106 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,120 What was happening. 107 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,280 I couldn't be more sorry. 108 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,560 You know, you should listen. 109 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,160 Some of the stuff that she's saying in there makes a lot of sense. 110 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,480 I am listening. Were you? 111 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:09,640 Cos I kept looking over 112 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,920 and all you were doing was staring at your phone. 113 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,200 Well, I've got a lot on my mind. 114 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,520 Pal, we all do. 115 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,160 I'm busy applying for college, looking for jobs 116 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:21,040 and walking my neighbour's dog - not that you'd know, cos you never ask. 117 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,360 I think you're cool, Jade. 118 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,160 But I think I've realised that I want to be around people 119 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,560 who are at least trying. 120 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,040 DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES 121 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,320 That's Steve away, is it? 122 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,680 I can't do this. 123 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,360 This... This whole ignoring of what happened last night. 124 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,040 And then today, Steve. 125 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,720 Steve? 126 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,200 Please, say something. 127 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,640 You kept it from me. 128 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,480 I kept it from basically everybody. 129 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,840 I didn't think you'd be this upset. 130 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,600 You made a fool of me. 131 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,920 How is this about you? 132 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,680 Because you're my daughter. 133 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,680 Yeah, well, you're my mother. 134 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,320 And I've enough to deal with. 135 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:19,960 We all have. 136 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:24,840 Have you told Dad? 137 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,560 Of course I did. 138 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,360 We don't keep things from each other. 139 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,640 Oh, and before you start saying it, we're not, you know... 140 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:33,720 ..bigoted. 141 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,760 Oh, really? So it's fine when it's anybody else, 142 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,320 but not when it's your daughter? 143 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,160 You're just not who I thought you were. 144 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,160 Yeah, well, neither are you. 145 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,080 Oh, didn't realise you were home. 146 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,760 Oh, you wouldn't believe work today. 147 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,240 Everybody's chipping in for Kirsty's leaving gift, 148 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,560 but no-one can decide what to get her. 149 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:15,840 I said a bottle of wine, 150 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,200 but apparently that's not fancy enough, so... 151 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:21,560 You still there? 152 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,000 What's wrong? 153 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,960 Love, what's wrong? 154 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,480 I'm sorry, Mum. 155 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,720 For what? 156 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,440 I just treat you like shit, I treat everyone like shit. 157 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,040 I just get so wrapped up in myself and angry. 158 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,720 I'm just sorry. 159 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,320 Oh... No, you... 160 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,840 ..don't have to be so hard on yourself. 161 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,240 It's been a tricky few years for all of us. 162 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:59,360 But that programme is the start of something changing. 163 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,960 Mm. It's not too late. 164 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,560 It's never too late to turn things around. 165 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,680 I hope you're right. 166 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,320 I know I'm right. 167 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,240 Do you think you can help me fix everything? 168 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,320 Because I don't know how. 11836

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