All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S07E03.Call.Me.Crazy.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Salem: What'’s
with all the ironing?

I'’m the office "newbie."

I can'’t go to work all wrinkly.

Well, that doesn'’t keep Barbara
Walters'’ mug off the view.

[ Sprays]

[ Gasps]

You'’re a witch.

Why not get rid of wrinkles
in some witchy way?

Okay, how many times
do I have to remind you?

Roxie and Morgan live here
now, so that means no magic

no going through the magic
portal to the other realm

and, no matter
how late i'’m running

no reversing the
rotation of the earth.

Well, since you'’re getting all
domestic with small, hot irons

how '’bout you make me a waffle?

Very funny.

Hey, you'’re the one who'’s always
making eyes at Mrs. Butterworth.

[ Whimpers]

♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

I can'’t believe it.

I worked all day on this article

and Annie
red-penciled every line.

Yeah, she can be pretty
vicious with that red pencil.

This morning she took
issue with my new shirt.

Ooh.

I Don'’t suppose you have
any X-Men underoos to match.

I'’m not taking them
out of their package.

They'’ll lose their value.

Guys, after work I want
you to go check out this club.

Ashanti'’s doing a
gig at the civic center

and she may show up there.

James, try and see if
you can get some pictures

and, uh, Cole, try to grab
her for some questions.

Will do.

And none of them should be

"are you free later?"

Hey, j-lo grabbed mybutt.

Don'’t worry, Annie

Leonard and I will
keep an eye on him.

Uh, and i'’ll keep an
eye on all three of them.

What? It'’s a work thing
and i'’d like to go, too.

No offense, but do you
even know who ashanti is?

She had the number one album

and the number one
single at the same time.

She'’s rising faster
than Britney Spears

who, by the way, gave me
private dance lessons in Paris.

What?

Long story.

Um, so, uh, where'’s this club
and what time we meeting?

Okay. It'’s on the docks.

Meet us at pier 38 at 9:00.

On the docks, cool.

We aren'’t going to be throwing
tea in the harbor, too, are we?

Hey, guys. Hey, Harvey.

Sabrina, great,
we need your help.

Oh, i'’m sorry, i'’m in a rush.

I'’m so excited.

I'’m going out with my
coworkers for the first time.

But what'’s going on here?

Well, i'’ll tell you
what'’s not going on...

A surprise birthday
party for me.

And that is the third and
final time I fall for that one.

Sabrina, we said
that we were going

to spend tonight
cleaning out the closets

and getting rid of junk.

And by that I mean
roxie'’s clothes.

If we dumped half your makeup

we'’d have room for
an ice skating rink.

I'’m sorry.

Look, I promise
i'’ll help tomorrow.

I'’ve got to go change.

We'’re running
out of closet space.

How come no one uses this one?

No.

We can'’t go in there.

Why not?

Oh, my god.

I know what'’s going on.

You have a tanning bed in there.

No, no, no, no, no,
it'’s, uh... Bug zapper.

Ooh, wow.

That must have been a horse fly.

Oh, no, forget
about this closet.

Um, ooh, I need a cool outfit
to wear to the club tonight.

Do you think you could lend
me one of your creations?

Nice neighborhood.

So, how do we find this club?

Do we just follow
the chalk outlines?

You'’ve got to break out
of your cozy little world.

You can'’t live
your life in a bubble.

Sure you can.

My bubble has a
very low crime rate.

Hey, there'’s the
green light bulb.

That would be the club.

Unless it'’s an
environmentally friendly brothel.

Hey, man, we'’re
from scorch magazine.

Yeah, go on in.

Thanks.

Hold it, Mary Kate.

You can'’t come in
here wearing that.

Who are you calling Mary Kate?

The only twins I see
around here are your chins.

Hey, hey, you just let them in

and she had plastic
banana barrettes in her hair.

Reminds me of my brother.

Is there a problem? No, no, no.

No problem, I know
how this works.

You want a tip.

Okay, well, I
got a tip for you...

Get out of town.

Hey, look.

If all of us can'’t get in

then none of us should go in.

And forget about
ashanti, all right?

It'’s just another one
of Annie'’s rumors.

That is true.

One time lil'’ bow wow

was supposed to
be in the hospital

turns out his shih tzu
was getting spayed.

Thanks, guys.

Next time we go out, i'’ll
help you with your look.

Scenesters are into a
little something called goth.

Vampires,
gargoyles, hepatitis c.

Oh, please.

My people invented goth.

What'’d you say?

"Broth," uh, I said my
people invented broth, yeah.

Before us, uh,
everybody just ate

dried chicken and vegetables.

Hey, I know a place

open all night, no cover

and an awesome dj who plays
exactly what you want to hear.

Okay, e-7 coming up.

Cole: All right, look.

So, the police
let me out of jail

just in time to dance
in the carnival parade.

But I kept my clothes on.

I'’m not saying my date did.

[ Laughing]

You see, in Brazil
during carnaval

everyone dances
in the streets naked.

I know what happens at carnaval.

I mean, thank god for
laser hair removal, right?

You'’ve been to South America?

Sort of.

Well, it was epcot, but
they stamped my passport.

You ain'’t never
been to south amer...

That reminds me of
this time I was on a float

with the king and
queen of Mardi Gras.

Actually, it was the same dude.

Leonard: New Orleans
has the best food.

They have a Philly
cheese steak there

that'’s even better
than you get in Chicago.

Look, Don'’t worry.

The great thing
about a job like this

is it gets you
out into the world.

Which would do
you a lot of good.

[ Laughing]

Okay, guys, you know

maybe i'’ve never been to
Brazil or been thrown in jail naked

but I have been to plenty of
places and done lots of stuff.

I'’m sure you have.

But we'’re talking about

jumping-out-of-plane type stuff.

Yeah, i'’m sure you'’re
adventurous in your own way.

We mean, like

running with the bulls.

Remember in Chicago I
got all the way to half-court

before security busted me?

I remember that, man, yeah.

[ Chuckling]

See, we are men of experience.

We live life on the edge.

I could tell you stories that
would make your hair curl.

Like eating unwashed fruit.

In Mexico.

That'’s crazy.

For your information,
I have seen

the inside of the
volcanoes in Hawaii

i'’ve been to the
top of mt. Everest

and i'’ve even ridden the roller
coaster in the rings of saturn.

Excuse me?

Uh, the rings of saturn.

You know, the
amusement park in Florida.

Near Bible land.

Okay, how '’bout another song?

Uh, patsy cline, "crazy"? No.

Um... "Still crazy after

all these..." No.

Okay, uh, how
'’bout we just talk?

You know, guy talk.

So, uh, that Anna
kournikova, I mean, she is hot.

Hey, guys.

Both: Hi.

Hey, have you guys ever blurted
something out under pressure

that would make everyone
think you'’re weird?

Weird how? Creepy,
scary, sixth senseweird

or freakish, odd,
Liza'’s husband weird?

I'’d say, like, backwards
white jacket weird.

Ooh, that reminds
me. Got to call mom.

Lockdown'’s in ten minutes.

Okay, this is the
"to get rid of" box.

I'’m going to toss it
in the back of the car.

Oh, wait.

That'’s my sweater.

And those are my jeans.

This is my box.

I'’m not giving this stuff away.

What about helping
the less fortunate?

Well, I Don'’t see any
of roxie'’s stuff in there.

I think the less fortunate
have enough problems.

Hey, Harvey?

You still helping
them move boxes?

No, I fooled them.

This is the same box.

I'’ve just been carrying
it up and down the stairs

for the last half an hour.

Good idea.

Just carrying an empty box.

Empty.

Shoot.

[ Thudding]

So, did you have fun with
your coworkers tonight?

Oh, not really.

We were all sitting,
talking, and suddenly

I blurted out about
that time I went

to the rings of
saturn with aunt hilda.

Did you mention

that all I got was
a lousy t-shirt?

Sabrina, why did
you tell them that?

I couldn'’t help it.

They were all trading stories
about their big exotic exploits

and I couldn'’t even tell them

that I once broke the sound
barrier on a hoover upright.

Maybe they'’ll think you
were using a figure of speech.

You know, that
the "rings of saturn"

is something everyone'’s saying.

By the way, we'’re taking a load

to the shelter in the
city tomorrow, Sabrina

so make sure you
have your junk in the car.

But I have to work tomorrow.

Hello, roxie and
I have jobs, too.

Okay, okay, i'’ll go
on my lunch break.

But I can'’t be
late getting back.

Tomorrow at work i'’m going to
be doing more damage control

than Mariah Carey'’s publicist.

Why? What'’s going on?

Oh, here'’s the thing.

I said something to my coworkers

and now they think
i'’m all girl, interrupted.

Well, the next time
someone does that, just say

"excuse me, I was talking."

Oh, hey, Jody, I
love those shoes.

They are totally
rings of saturn.

Hey, Brent, we
missed you last night.

We had a great time.

Yeah, it was like roller
coasting on the rings of saturn.

Oh, come on.

Hasn'’t anyone here
heard that expression?

Where have you people been?

Come on, hip it up.

Jonathan hired her.

I think he should
know about this.

It'’s none of his business

squeally mcsquakbox.

What'’s not whose business?

O-Okay, I Don'’t
want to rat on anybody

but I think Jonathan should know

the new girl may
be slightly off.

Judas, party of 13,
your table'’s ready.

I mean, come on, len.

She said Britney Spears
taught her how to dance.

She said her people created goth

and the whole thing about
your roller coaster on saturn.

I think

her umbilical cord
was wrapped too tight.

Okay, look, Jonathan
hired Sabrina for a reason...

A reason I cannot fathom...

But as long as her
behavior isn'’t dangerous

we'’re going to treat her like
just another scorchemployee.

With a chemical
imbalance like a public pool.

Hey, Annie, I love the hair,
it'’s totally rings of saturn.

Hey, come on.

"It'’s all good" didn'’t
catch on right away, either.

Okay, my lunch
break is only an hour

and the last time I was
late Annie made me sing

the tardy song to the
whole custodial staff.

Man, these boxes are heavy.

Well, here, let'’s
use this cart.

You know the best thing
about giving stuff to the poor?

Yup, it means we
get to buy new stuff.

Hey, hey, we'’re losing
valuable merchandise.

Great, now i'’m going
to have angel hair.

Hold on, one more.

There, now the
queen has her robe.

Well, the queen has
some weird friends.

You know, how come
they can surgically

relocate your belly button

but they can'’t fix the grocery
cart wobbly-wheel problem?

[ Tires screeching]

Hey! This is a crosswalk, buddy.

There better be a cooler full
of kidneys in your back seat.

It'’s not what you think.

I'’m going to the shelter.

I mean, I...

Hey, there.

Whoa, high-strung?

Sign of quality breeding.

Between you and me

i'’m a sucker for
the crazy girls.

Oh, too bad, '’cause I
hear susie in accounting

has a thing for you.

Really?

There'’s got to
be a susie, right?

Hey, James, look,
about the shopping cart

and all the junk... it'’s
actually a funny story.

No need to explain. No worries.

These voices in
your head, though

they Don'’t say, "kill the
photographer," do they?

[ Coin clattering in cup]

Very funny.

Come back and get your quarter.

Or at least take
a pencil for it.

Annie, Annie.

Something has got to
be done about Sabrina.

James...

No, you didn'’t
see it today at lunch

with the cart, the
blanket and the trash.

She looked like a bag lady.

James, I think
you'’re overreacting.

We really Don'’t know
anything about Sabrina.

Yeah, he'’s right.

I mean, this could be
her sad, desperate attempt

to give herself a little edge.

You know, like when
the bush girls get drunk

and make out with democrats.

All i'’m saying is that
Jonathan should know

when he hires people on impulse

it could be dangerous.

I think dangerous is sexy.

My last date jumped out of
my car while it was still moving.

Well, maybe she'’s just
got some problems at home.

Does she even have a home?

One that doesn'’t
say, "this end up"

and melt in the rain?

Okay, this is ridiculous, okay?

I know you guys
are talking about me

and you think i'’m a weirdo.

No, we Don'’t.No, no. No...

Okay, look, and I just want you
to know that I do have a home

and I invite any of
you... Except you...

Anytime

to come over and see
my regular, normal home.

Uh, why is Salem
wearing a tutti-frutti hat?

I put it on him.

Isn'’t it cute?

And why are you sitting
on the coffee table?

Before another day of
moving boxes around

I thought i'’d warm
up with some yoga.

I'’m attempting to levitate.

Well, do you have to do it here?

Cole'’s coming over
to take me to work

and it won'’t help things
if he thinks i'’m living

with a wacko.

Sorry, i'’m not
moving from this spot

until I levitate.

Anything?

Nah. I'’m starting to think
this yoga thing'’s a scam.

[ Nasally]: Morning, everyone.

What'’s up?

Why are you wearing a
chip clip on your nose?

Ow. I am reshaping
my nose without surgery.

I wear it when I sleep.

Like headgear.

Well, you look ridiculous.

Okay, and maybe you should stop

getting your medical
advice from the dollar store.

Sabrina, you'’re
trying too hard.

Just be yourself
and they'’ll see you

for the wonderful,
regular girl you are.

Actually, that is
really good advice.

And just in case it
doesn'’t work, go, go!

[ Singsongy]: Salem, there'’s an
open can of tuna in the kitchen.

Hah! Nice try.

I know what'’s going on.

This guy'’s coming over

and you'’re worried a cat
will make you look spinsterish.

No, what makes me
look spinsterish is the cat

the two female roommates
and the large victorian house.

Look, it'’s obvious
you like this Cole guy.

Do what anybody in
your situation would do...

Rub up against his leg

or stand in front of the
TV and arch your back.

This is why I Don'’t listen
to you anymore, Salem.

I am done taking
the cat'’s advice.

Okay? I am sick and tired

of hearing your
nagging little voice.

Psst...

Meow.

Oh, what is that, sarcasm?

[ Grunting]

Oh, hi, Cole. Come on in.

Hi.

Hey, Sabrina.

Uh, you know, they-
they say that, um

if you talk to cats

it makes them, um, shed less.

[ Chuckles nervously]

All right, let me
go get my stuff

i'’ll meet you out by the car.

Roxie: Sorry, we thought

you guys were gone.

I'’m roxie. This is Morgan.

Oh, hi.

So, uh, how long

you guys been
roommates with Sabrina?

We'’ve only lived
here for a few months.

This house used to
belong to Sabrina'’s aunts.

Oh, uh, so where'’d they go?

We Don'’t know.

It was really strange.

They kind of just disappeared.

And you never checked
out what happened to them?

Oh, Sabrina doesn'’t
like to talk about it.

N-Not that Sabrina

doesn'’t like to
talk about things

and keeps a lot of secrets.

Oh, she'’s very open.

Except when it comes to
that closet upstairs, right?

Oh, yeah, "Don'’t
go in there!" Aah!

Sabrina: Hey, uh

what are you guys
doing down here?

I-I thought I told
you to wait upstairs

and I thought I told
you to wait in the car.

And you, we'’ll talk later.

I mean

i'’ll talk to youlater...

About shedding.

[ Sabrina chuckles]

Why would he talk
to me, he'’s a cat?

[ Chuckles]

Huh.

Bye.

Yeah, my roommates and
I get along great, you know.

Except for little
things, like Morgan

the way she'’s always
chomping her gum.

I could just strangleher!

[ Spits]

Um, so your-your friends

said you used to
live with your aunts.

Yeah, yeah, when I
was in high school.

But then I grew up and I
didn'’t need them anymore.

I do miss them, though.

Well, i'’m sure they'’ll
come back and visit.

No, no, no.

No, they won'’t be coming back.

Oh, could you pull over

by the diner?

I want to get
something for the office.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Uh, you know what?

Listen, um, I just remembered.

I got a conference
call and, uh, you know

we'’re only a couple
blocks from the office.

Do you mind walking?

Oh, no problem.

I'’ll see you back there.

Okay, well, he definitely
thinks i'’m crazy.

And the fact that i'’m talking
to myself is not helping.

Excuse me, um, I need a
coffee cake for my office.

Okay, we got a fruitcake...

No, no, no, no fruitcakes.

How about a nice nut loaf?

No, no. Nothing nutty.

I need something that
says, "normal, not crazy

not about to have a
nervous breakdown!"

I Don'’t think I can
fit all that on a cake.

I could maybe do
"happy birthday"

some nice balloons.

Give me a minute.

Regular coffee to go.

Yeah.

You have a little...

Oh, great.

Well, that was the last time I
let a monkey do my makeover.

You work at scorch?

Yeah. Hey, thanks for giving me
the heads up on the clown mouth.

My coworkers already think
i'’m crazy enough as it is.

Why is that?

Oh, I said something stupid

about riding a roller
coaster on the rings of saturn.

It'’s a long story.

That'’s kind of cool.

It paints a nice picture.
You seem very artistic.

I'’m better with words
than I am with lipstick.

$1.35.

Oh, gosh, I guess I left
my wallet at the hotel.

Ooh, well, then, you can
get your coffee at the hotel.

Oh, I can cover your coffee.

Oh, really?

That would be nice. Thank you.

No problem.

Thanks. Um, listen

you have a card or anything?

I'’d like to pay you
back for the coffee.

Oh, Don'’t worry about it.

I'’m just glad I
didn'’t run into you

at a car dealership.

Thanks again.

I Don'’t care what Sabrina says

we need this closet space.

Morgan, Don'’t open that.

Morgan, are these
your tap shoes?

Oh, my gosh.

I haven'’t seen those in years.

They look brand-new.

Yeah. I realized
whenever I wore them

they just made too much noise.

Harvey?!

That is just like him.

We ask for help and
then he gets wrapped up

in something else.

Okay, I still think you
guys are overreacting.

Now we'’re all
going back to work.

Business as usual.

She may have killed her aunts.

Okay, we could be dealing
with an aunticidal maniac.

We have nothing to
worry about with Sabrina.

Hey, guys.

I got a surprise.

[ All gasping]

No, guys, the
knife is for the cake.

I brought cake.

Leonard, get out from
underneath the desk!

Guys, listen, I
know there'’s been

a lot of rumors about
my behavior lately

but you haven'’t been
seeing the whole picture.

I mean, there'’s an
explanation for everything.

The grocery cart, the
knife, the rings of saturn.

[ Horn tooting]Ooh, latte cart.

Guys, wait!

I'’m not a lunatic!

Hey, there you are.

I wanted to pay you
back your money.

Oh, you Don'’t have to do that.

It was just coffee.

But thanks.

I'’m Sabrina
spellman, by the way.

Hi, i'’m ashanti.
Nice to meet you.

Oh, the singer ashanti?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I see what'’s
happening here.

They'’re trying to set
me up and you'’re in on it.

They think i'’m nuts and
they'’re trying to push me

into the deep end
of the crazy pool.

Very funny, guys.
You can come out now.

Let me know if there'’s
ever anything I can do

to return the favor.

Uh, actually, since
you'’re offering

um, would you mind
giving me a few minutes

to do an interview?

The magazine would love it

and my reputation sure
could use the help around here.

I'’m kind of in a rush... the
tour bus is waiting outside.

But you know what, here
is my manager'’s card.

Give her a call and
she'’ll set something up.

Okay. Thanks.Okay.

Hey, was that...?

Was someone supposed to
have an interview with ashanti?

Jonathan didn'’t say
anything to me about it.

You didn'’t go saying
something weird

and chase her off, did you?

As a matter of fact,
she came here to...

Nah.

All right, all right, all right.

Forget the manager.

Look, here'’s my cell number.

Give me a call
tonight before the show

and you can get your interview.

And, girl, you are definitely
riding the roller coaster

on the rings of
saturn in my book.

Wow, Sabrina knows ashanti.

Huh? Oh, yeah.

You know, me and ashanti.

[ Chuckles]: Yeah, we'’re buds.

We go way back.

So I guess we
misjudged the new girl.

So, ashanti is the one

who came up with this whole
rings of saturn thing, huh?

Well, actually, uh, we both
came up with it together.

Yeah, we'’re like, you know,
Lennon and McCartney.

Simon and Garfunkel.

We'’re spellman and...
Whatever ashanti'’s last name is.

So is anybody going
to eat this cake?

Hey, looks like you got
everything stored away.

What happened to Harvey?

He bailed on us hours ago.

[ Panting, gasping]

Harvey, what happened to you?

I was...

Giant octopus and...
Tentacles and acid blood.

It was horrible.

Roxie: Is that Harvey up there?

Morgan: We'’ve
got six more boxes.