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1
00:00:07,103 --> 00:00:08,896
[ Murmuring]
2
00:00:15,172 --> 00:00:17,000
Well, well, well,
what'’s new, new, new?
3
00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:18,517
Oh, Sabrina, hi.
4
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:19,586
Arthur and I were just
5
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,413
having a little
discussion about physics.
6
00:00:21,482 --> 00:00:24,517
Oh, looked a little more
like chemistry to me.
7
00:00:24,586 --> 00:00:26,482
So, I didn'’t know you
and professor carlin...
8
00:00:26,551 --> 00:00:28,517
Or should I say Arthur...
Were involved again.
9
00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:30,620
We'’ve been seeing
each other, casually.
10
00:00:30,689 --> 00:00:32,241
He was just keeping me company
11
00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:34,137
while I wait for
president banning.
12
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:35,931
My meeting was
scheduled an hour ago.
13
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,379
I wonder what'’s keeping him.
14
00:00:37,448 --> 00:00:39,389
I'’m sure he'’s just tied up
with something important.
15
00:00:39,413 --> 00:00:41,862
Hilda: Stop, that tickles!
16
00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:43,482
[ Giggling]: That tickles, too!
17
00:00:43,551 --> 00:00:44,689
Say it ain'’t so.
18
00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:46,172
Oh, I would if I could.
19
00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:50,482
Hi, zellie, Sabrina.
20
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,862
This is what higher
education has sunk to.
21
00:00:52,931 --> 00:00:55,344
I love the academic
life, and guess what?
22
00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:57,620
I just made the Dean'’s list.
23
00:01:05,275 --> 00:01:09,275
♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪
24
00:01:09,344 --> 00:01:15,793
♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪
25
00:01:15,862 --> 00:01:18,965
♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪
26
00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:23,103
♪ I wanna make it last...
27
00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:28,655
♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪
28
00:01:28,724 --> 00:01:33,275
♪ and I like the way it feels.
29
00:01:38,551 --> 00:01:39,482
[ Doorbell rings]
30
00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:40,482
Could somebody get that?
31
00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:42,551
This article on
hairstyle makeovers
32
00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,068
is too good to put down.
33
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,586
Ooh, love Allen
iverson in a scrunchie.
34
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,862
Hi. Hope i'’m not bothering you.
35
00:01:49,931 --> 00:01:51,172
This will only take a minute.
36
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:52,793
Take that.
37
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,689
Hey, what do you
think you'’re doing?
38
00:01:54,758 --> 00:01:56,551
Checking out my new digs.
39
00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:57,551
What digs?
40
00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:58,413
We'’re the only ones
41
00:01:58,482 --> 00:01:59,482
who live in this house.
42
00:01:59,517 --> 00:02:00,620
With the possible exception
43
00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:01,413
of microorganisms
44
00:02:01,482 --> 00:02:02,482
that may have crawled up
45
00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:03,241
from the earth'’s crust.
46
00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:04,689
Or not.
47
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:05,689
The housing office said
48
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:06,976
there was going to be a vacancy
49
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,520
because someone
didn'’t pay their rent.
50
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:09,758
That'’s ridiculous.
51
00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:10,907
Everyone paid their rent, right?
52
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:11,965
Right, which means
53
00:02:12,034 --> 00:02:13,758
you and your tape
measure can take a hike.
54
00:02:13,827 --> 00:02:15,034
Okay, okay.
55
00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:16,863
I guess i'’ll just have
to find another place
56
00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:19,172
big enough to hold my
high-frequency radio telescope.
57
00:02:19,241 --> 00:02:20,344
Come back!
58
00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:22,034
We'’ll throw someone out!
59
00:02:22,103 --> 00:02:24,689
I Don'’t have time for
this bureaucratic stupidity.
60
00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:26,038
I have to go to
advanced calculus
61
00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:27,343
and deal with my own stupidity.
62
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,275
Can you believe
that housing office?
63
00:02:31,344 --> 00:02:32,413
Tell me about it.
64
00:02:32,482 --> 00:02:34,068
They said they'’d
give me an extension.
65
00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:35,344
Extension?
66
00:02:35,413 --> 00:02:37,482
Morgan, you'’re the one
that didn'’t pay the rent?
67
00:02:37,551 --> 00:02:38,689
It'’s not my fault!
68
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,034
Daddy put me on a tight budget
69
00:02:40,103 --> 00:02:43,103
and I had a couple
of emergencies.
70
00:02:43,172 --> 00:02:44,551
Prada pumps.
71
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,724
I bought them in burnished
eggplant and spicy rust.
72
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:48,913
You got to trade them in for
73
00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,389
some khaki-green
hundred-dollar bills
74
00:02:50,413 --> 00:02:52,251
or you'’re going to be
living out on the street.
75
00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:55,517
True, but shoe-wise,
i'’m set for fall and winter.
76
00:02:58,172 --> 00:03:00,241
Morgan would be
totally embarrassed
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00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:01,758
if she knew I was
asking you this
78
00:03:01,827 --> 00:03:03,137
but we'’ve got to help her out.
79
00:03:03,206 --> 00:03:05,034
Mismanaging money
could happen to anyone.
80
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,034
Couldn'’t happen to me.
81
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,827
I Don'’t have enough
money to mismanage.
82
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,344
I'’d rather discuss who gets
Morgan'’s spacious bedroom.
83
00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:11,482
Mine is so small, I have
84
00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:13,517
to store my allergy
medication in my socks.
85
00:03:13,586 --> 00:03:15,034
At least you get
to do it in private.
86
00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,183
I have a roommate who
watches my every hygienic move.
87
00:03:17,241 --> 00:03:18,517
Right, like I care that
88
00:03:18,586 --> 00:03:20,068
you'’re a serial exfoliator.
89
00:03:20,137 --> 00:03:22,275
Guys, look, a
roommate is in crisis
90
00:03:22,344 --> 00:03:24,482
and I believe if
push came to shove
91
00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:25,931
she'’d be there for us.
92
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,586
This is Morgan
we'’re talking about?
93
00:03:27,655 --> 00:03:28,931
Look, all I can say is
94
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,241
underneath Morgan'’s
shallow exterior...
95
00:03:31,310 --> 00:03:32,827
Is a shallow interior.
96
00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:34,172
Right, but underneath that
97
00:03:34,241 --> 00:03:36,206
is a decent, okay person.
98
00:03:36,275 --> 00:03:38,965
That'’s why i'’m taking the money
I was saving for Josh'’s birthday
99
00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:40,448
and loaning it to Morgan.
100
00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:43,827
Okay, fine, i'’m in.
101
00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:45,586
Me, too.
102
00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:46,655
But it'’s going to be
103
00:03:46,689 --> 00:03:47,929
pretty tight for me this month.
104
00:03:47,965 --> 00:03:49,805
No luxuries, like...
What is that thing called?
105
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,137
Oh, yeah... food.
106
00:03:51,206 --> 00:03:53,006
And i'’ll be giving up
my lifeline... sudafed.
107
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:00,931
Hi. Whatcha doing?
108
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,413
Salem and I joined the
other realm book club.
109
00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:04,551
Oh, how nice for you.
110
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,413
Well, while you'’re sitting
around, reading about life
111
00:04:07,482 --> 00:04:08,965
i'’ll be out living it.
112
00:04:09,034 --> 00:04:11,689
I'’ve been invited to a dinner
party at Wayne'’s house.
113
00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:12,931
A dinner party?
114
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,896
With the president
of my college?
115
00:04:14,965 --> 00:04:16,485
Oh, it'’s just an
intimate gathering...
116
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,862
President banning, moi
117
00:04:17,931 --> 00:04:19,724
and the people who
are really close to him.
118
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:22,413
I wonder why I wasn'’t invited.
119
00:04:22,482 --> 00:04:24,310
I thought Wayne
and I were friends.
120
00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:26,827
Well, maybe he doesn'’t want
to mix business with pleasure.
121
00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:28,689
Besides, you have a full life.
122
00:04:28,758 --> 00:04:29,941
You have your reading group...
123
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,275
With your cat.
124
00:04:31,344 --> 00:04:34,000
We may not be the
algonquin round table
125
00:04:34,068 --> 00:04:36,172
but we have better snacks.
126
00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:38,103
Hilda, this is really
making me mad.
127
00:04:38,172 --> 00:04:39,344
Oh, come on.
128
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,862
It'’s just one little
fabulous soiree.
129
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:43,344
You could have
put in a good word
130
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,482
and gotten Arthur and
me invited to that party.
131
00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:48,172
Instead, you throw it in
my face and laugh... why?
132
00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:50,000
What are you
getting out of this?
133
00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:52,482
Inner peace, and
from what I understand
134
00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:54,000
a very tasty veal chop.
135
00:04:54,068 --> 00:04:57,655
Oh, the gravy, the gravy!
136
00:04:59,413 --> 00:05:01,620
[ Doorbell rings]
137
00:05:01,689 --> 00:05:03,793
[ Clears throat]
138
00:05:03,862 --> 00:05:05,137
Ah, hilda.
139
00:05:05,206 --> 00:05:06,931
Hi. Hi.
140
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,034
May I take your wrap?
141
00:05:08,103 --> 00:05:09,482
Sure, but if you Don'’t mind
142
00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:11,724
i'’d like to keep my
skirt on for the party.
143
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:13,275
Talk to me after
the hors d'’oeuvres.
144
00:05:13,344 --> 00:05:15,103
[ Laughter]
145
00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:17,372
Uh, Wayne, perhaps you can
settle the debate i'’m having
146
00:05:17,413 --> 00:05:19,172
with the chair of the
philosophy department.
147
00:05:19,241 --> 00:05:21,448
Is this real or imitation crab?
148
00:05:21,517 --> 00:05:23,103
It'’s as real as my affection
149
00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:25,413
for this charming
creature next to me.
150
00:05:25,482 --> 00:05:27,172
Hilda, do you know
professor carlin?
151
00:05:27,241 --> 00:05:28,862
Sure, he'’s dating
my older sister.
152
00:05:28,931 --> 00:05:31,206
Oh, excuse me.
153
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:34,137
And, apparently,
this little trollop.
154
00:05:34,206 --> 00:05:36,275
Ashley, would you excuse
us for a moment, please?
155
00:05:36,344 --> 00:05:37,965
I know this is a little awkward
156
00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:39,758
but there'’s no
need to get upset.
157
00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:41,413
Oops, too late.
158
00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:42,793
Zelda and I have an agreement
159
00:05:42,862 --> 00:05:44,724
that we Don'’t date
each other exclusively.
160
00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:46,000
Oh, really? Well, according to
161
00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:47,758
my understanding of
the word "agreement"
162
00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:49,206
both people have to be in on it.
163
00:05:49,275 --> 00:05:50,344
Both people are.
164
00:05:50,413 --> 00:05:51,344
Yeah, you and Ashley.
165
00:05:51,413 --> 00:05:53,689
And I suppose when she
needs help with her homework
166
00:05:53,758 --> 00:05:54,965
you'’re right on top of it.
167
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,689
No.
168
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:00,586
So, have you guys
decided what you want yet?
169
00:06:00,655 --> 00:06:01,689
I'’d like a frappuccino
170
00:06:01,758 --> 00:06:03,344
but since I lent
Morgan all my money
171
00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:04,724
i'’ll go with water.
172
00:06:04,793 --> 00:06:07,000
That sounds good... make it two.
173
00:06:10,655 --> 00:06:11,862
Wow, a ten-dollar tip?
174
00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:13,896
That'’s more than I ever
got when I worked here.
175
00:06:13,965 --> 00:06:15,310
What'’s your secret?
176
00:06:15,379 --> 00:06:18,862
Flirting heavily with any guy
named Clyde, Irving or morty.
177
00:06:20,482 --> 00:06:21,793
And just so you know, this money
178
00:06:21,862 --> 00:06:24,000
is going to help buy your
surprise birthday present
179
00:06:24,068 --> 00:06:26,482
which, by the way, you'’ll
never guess in a million years.
180
00:06:26,551 --> 00:06:29,379
Photographer'’s vest,
medium, Navy blue.
181
00:06:29,448 --> 00:06:30,896
Aha! Royal blue.
182
00:06:30,965 --> 00:06:33,172
Seriously, Sabrina,
those are really expensive.
183
00:06:33,241 --> 00:06:34,896
You'’re going to
have to serve morty
184
00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:36,689
a lot of coffee
cake to afford that.
185
00:06:36,758 --> 00:06:38,000
I'’m on it... hey, morty
186
00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:40,275
those new trifocals make
you look ten years younger.
187
00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:46,655
Oh, that purse!
188
00:06:46,724 --> 00:06:48,551
Ever heard of the
endangered species act?
189
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,413
Ever heard of shaving cream?
190
00:06:52,724 --> 00:06:54,000
Hey, Morgan, nice ensemble.
191
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:55,413
Where'’d you get the purse?
192
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:56,586
Is it new?
193
00:06:56,655 --> 00:06:58,103
To me.
194
00:06:58,172 --> 00:07:00,551
Before that, I believe it
belonged to the alligator.
195
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:01,931
Excuse us.
196
00:07:04,172 --> 00:07:05,724
Quick question:
Why is Morgan buying
197
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,034
an expensive alligator purse
when she owes us money?
198
00:07:08,103 --> 00:07:09,241
I Don'’t know.
199
00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:12,068
Maybe it was a gift, or
maybe it'’s a cheap synthetic...
200
00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:13,379
You know, schmalligator.
201
00:07:13,448 --> 00:07:14,907
You Don'’t really
believe that, do you?
202
00:07:14,931 --> 00:07:16,458
I'’m giving her the
benefit of the doubt.
203
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:17,838
She said she'’s
going to pay us back
204
00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:19,702
and we should believe
her. Any other questions?
205
00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:21,482
Yes. If there'’s a schmalligator
206
00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:23,068
is there also a schmocodile?
207
00:07:26,724 --> 00:07:27,827
Oh, i'’m starved.
208
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:30,413
What are you guys
having for dinner?
209
00:07:30,482 --> 00:07:31,655
Both: Creamed corn.
210
00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:33,241
Oh, didn'’t you
have that last night?
211
00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:35,034
Had it for breakfast, too.
212
00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:38,000
I go through weird
food phases myself.
213
00:07:38,068 --> 00:07:40,689
One week, all I wanted
was shiitake mushrooms.
214
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:42,517
[ Doorbell rings]
215
00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:44,000
Now i'’m on a Sushi kick.
216
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,586
I'’ll give her a Sushi kick.
217
00:07:47,655 --> 00:07:50,275
Hi. Someone ordered
the mount fuji special.
218
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:51,862
Someone right here.
219
00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:53,689
Just keep the change.
220
00:07:53,758 --> 00:07:55,344
Wow, thanks!
221
00:07:55,413 --> 00:07:56,689
God bless you.
222
00:07:56,758 --> 00:08:00,137
Miles, roxy... anybody
want some Sushi?
223
00:08:00,206 --> 00:08:02,206
It'’s the best in town.
224
00:08:02,275 --> 00:08:04,517
I can'’t believe
you ordered Sushi.
225
00:08:04,586 --> 00:08:06,344
I know, i'’ve heard
all those stories
226
00:08:06,413 --> 00:08:07,793
about raw fish and bacteria
227
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,482
but you Don'’t have to worry
228
00:08:09,551 --> 00:08:11,655
if you'’re willing
to pay top dollar.
229
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:15,344
Yeah, ourtop dollars.
230
00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:17,068
Hi. What'’s going on?
231
00:08:17,137 --> 00:08:18,206
Don'’t "hi" me.
232
00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:19,862
You told us Morgan was broke
233
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:23,000
and now she'’s spending
our money on purses and fish.
234
00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:24,241
Yikes!
235
00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:26,827
This is what they'’re
getting for freshwater eel?
236
00:08:26,896 --> 00:08:27,965
This is ridiculous.
237
00:08:28,034 --> 00:08:29,379
I'’ll go talk to
Morgan right now.
238
00:08:29,448 --> 00:08:31,620
Thank you, and how would
you like your corn served?
239
00:08:31,689 --> 00:08:34,206
To someone else.
240
00:08:34,275 --> 00:08:35,448
[ Knock on door]
241
00:08:35,517 --> 00:08:36,827
Morgan, it'’s me.
242
00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:39,655
Come on in, and bring
your complexion problems.
243
00:08:39,724 --> 00:08:41,862
Why? Are we having
a blackhead party?
244
00:08:41,931 --> 00:08:43,344
We may.
245
00:08:43,413 --> 00:08:44,482
Look what I just bought...
246
00:08:44,551 --> 00:08:45,931
An electronic pore cleanser.
247
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,655
Now there'’s no
need to worry about
248
00:08:47,724 --> 00:08:49,931
those bumpy things
on the side of your nose.
249
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,758
Funny, I Don'’t worry
about stuff like that.
250
00:08:51,827 --> 00:08:53,147
I worry about why
you'’re spending
251
00:08:53,206 --> 00:08:54,896
the money you borrowed
on frivolous junk.
252
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:55,793
Sabrina...
253
00:08:55,862 --> 00:08:57,206
It'’s immoral, it'’s unethical
254
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,758
and nobody gives a hoot
about the side of your nose.
255
00:08:59,827 --> 00:09:01,724
They will once I
shrink these pores.
256
00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:02,862
Sabrina
257
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:04,172
I am hurt that you would think
258
00:09:04,241 --> 00:09:05,586
I wasn'’t going to pay you back.
259
00:09:05,655 --> 00:09:08,793
Oh, and why would I think that?
260
00:09:08,862 --> 00:09:10,793
Relax, everything is fixed.
261
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:12,137
I called my dad
262
00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:13,724
told him about my
budgeting problems
263
00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:15,241
and he said he was
going to send me
264
00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,379
a big, fat envelope.
265
00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:17,655
It'’ll be here tomorrow.
266
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,551
Whew, that is such a relief.
267
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:24,000
Now, if you'’ll excuse me, I
have some suctioning to do.
268
00:09:24,068 --> 00:09:26,000
Won'’t I miss that.
269
00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:34,241
I understand why
the caterer was naked.
270
00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:37,689
I Don'’t understand why
there weren'’t any pictures!
271
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:39,724
Zelda, I need to talk to...
272
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:41,793
Oh, hi, everybody.
273
00:09:41,862 --> 00:09:44,137
Um, just ignore us.
274
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:47,448
Hilda, you interrupted
my book club.
275
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,103
They can wait.
276
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,458
There'’s something
I have to tell you.
277
00:09:50,482 --> 00:09:51,068
What is it?
278
00:09:51,137 --> 00:09:52,862
I can'’t tell you.
279
00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:54,862
Then, since I have
guests in the other room
280
00:09:54,931 --> 00:09:56,344
perhaps i'’ll go back.
281
00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:59,241
Your boyfriend is two-timing
you with a 25-year-old.
282
00:10:01,965 --> 00:10:03,689
Gosh, look at the time.
283
00:10:03,758 --> 00:10:06,034
Hey, who'’s up for
strudel in the other realm?
284
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,827
Hilda, you ruined my book club.
285
00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:11,413
You'’ve got bigger
problems, sister.
286
00:10:11,482 --> 00:10:12,896
Arthur carlin...
287
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:15,172
The man you wanted to
take to the dinner party...
288
00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:17,206
Was at the dinner
party with someone else.
289
00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:18,586
Salem: So we heard.
290
00:10:18,655 --> 00:10:21,068
A 25-year-old chicky-poo.
291
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:24,034
Only 630 years younger than you.
292
00:10:24,103 --> 00:10:27,000
Said the cat who spikes
his iced tea with metamucil.
293
00:10:27,068 --> 00:10:29,068
I like the texture.
294
00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:32,482
And get this: Then carlin
comes up with this lame excuse
295
00:10:32,551 --> 00:10:34,965
that you two have an
agreement to see other people.
296
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,137
Well, we do.
297
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:38,379
I'’m the one that suggested it.
298
00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:40,793
Look, hilda, to be honest,
it would have been nice
299
00:10:40,862 --> 00:10:42,482
if Arthur had taken
me to that party
300
00:10:42,551 --> 00:10:43,551
but he didn'’t.
301
00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:44,827
I'’m okay with it.
302
00:10:44,896 --> 00:10:46,793
Likely story.
303
00:10:46,862 --> 00:10:49,103
Don'’t hold anything in, sister.
304
00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:50,482
Express your pain.
305
00:10:50,551 --> 00:10:51,896
The only pain I feel
306
00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:54,310
is your nails
digging into my back.
307
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:55,413
Now, if you'’ll excuse me
308
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:57,241
i'’m going to start my
book for next week.
309
00:10:57,310 --> 00:11:00,689
Don'’t you even want to
know what she looks like?
310
00:11:00,758 --> 00:11:02,827
No! yes!
311
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,517
I Don'’t get it...
Why is the mail late
312
00:11:04,586 --> 00:11:06,103
the one day we'’re
expecting money?
313
00:11:06,172 --> 00:11:07,734
If we Don'’t get our
money back, we'’re not
314
00:11:07,758 --> 00:11:08,769
going to be eating anything.
315
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,593
All I know is i'’m down
to three decongestants
316
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:11,620
and a packet of ketchup.
317
00:11:11,689 --> 00:11:13,458
And our physics class
starts in seven minutes.
318
00:11:13,482 --> 00:11:14,724
Oh, you guys go.
319
00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:17,586
I'’ll stay here and keep
an eye out for the cash
320
00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:19,517
and here is some
sweet '’n low for the road.
321
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,068
Has the mailman been here yet?
322
00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:28,517
Nope.
323
00:11:28,586 --> 00:11:29,827
I wish he'’d hurry up.
324
00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:31,827
I want to get to
bloomingdale'’s.
325
00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:33,862
I'’m trying to improve
my walking time
326
00:11:33,931 --> 00:11:35,517
between cosmetics and shoes.
327
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,482
Well, it'’s better than
having no goals at all.
328
00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:39,827
He'’s here!
329
00:11:39,896 --> 00:11:42,310
Ah, yes, the mother lode!
330
00:11:42,379 --> 00:11:44,206
Careful, Don'’t tear the money!
331
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,827
Oh, this isn'’t money.
332
00:11:45,896 --> 00:11:47,620
These are my bills.
333
00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:50,137
"The Oklahoma earring
trading company"?
334
00:11:50,206 --> 00:11:52,172
"Just washcloths"?
335
00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:54,413
Oh, the check must be in here.
336
00:11:54,482 --> 00:11:56,655
"Dear Morgan...
337
00:11:56,724 --> 00:11:59,172
"I hope you'’re enjoying
all the purchases you made
338
00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:01,137
"because you won'’t
be making any more.
339
00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:05,413
At least not with
my money. Dad."
340
00:12:05,482 --> 00:12:08,275
Oh, my god, i'’ve been cut off.
341
00:12:09,724 --> 00:12:11,931
I'’m broke!
342
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,931
Oh!
343
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,827
That makes four of us.
344
00:12:19,275 --> 00:12:21,758
Daddy says until I learn
how to manage my money
345
00:12:21,827 --> 00:12:23,172
i'’m not getting any more.
346
00:12:23,241 --> 00:12:25,758
Do I have a lawsuit here?!
347
00:12:25,827 --> 00:12:28,517
Morgan, I wasn'’t the only
one that helped you out.
348
00:12:28,586 --> 00:12:30,344
Miles and roxie chipped in, too.
349
00:12:30,413 --> 00:12:34,862
They did? I had no idea how
much they cared about me.
350
00:12:34,931 --> 00:12:35,758
They Don'’t.
351
00:12:35,827 --> 00:12:36,551
I guilted them
352
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:37,896
into doing it.
353
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:40,000
Still, they took money
out of their own pockets
354
00:12:40,068 --> 00:12:41,068
and gave it to me.
355
00:12:41,103 --> 00:12:42,793
Sabrina, I am hopeless.
356
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,793
I just wish that
somewhere along the way
357
00:12:45,862 --> 00:12:49,241
someone had taught
me how to stretch a dollar.
358
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:50,241
Stretch a dollar?
359
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,241
That'’s a good idea.
360
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,275
Morgan, how much
money do you have left?
361
00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:54,241
A dollar.
362
00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:55,310
Thank you.
363
00:12:55,344 --> 00:12:57,413
Why are you taking
my last dollar?!
364
00:12:57,482 --> 00:12:58,758
None of your business.
365
00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:01,448
Your business is to go out
and get a job ata business.
366
00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:02,517
And I mean business!
367
00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:06,517
A job?
368
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:11,482
I guess this is what they
mean by "bottoming out."
369
00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:16,172
Be right with you.
370
00:13:16,241 --> 00:13:17,931
Got to hang tens.
371
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,103
[ Chuckles]
372
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:20,827
How can I help you?
373
00:13:20,896 --> 00:13:23,056
I Don'’t know. I'’ve seen
your ads on other realm cable
374
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,862
but i'’m still not sure
exactly what you do.
375
00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:28,137
Well, we launder
money, pinch pennies
376
00:13:28,206 --> 00:13:31,931
and, starting may 1st,
serve cajun buffalo wings.
377
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,275
Well, can you stretch
a mortal dollar?
378
00:13:34,344 --> 00:13:37,310
Faster than a one-eyed possum
on a greased-up armadillo.
379
00:13:37,379 --> 00:13:38,699
I'’ll assume
that'’s pretty fast.
380
00:13:38,758 --> 00:13:39,689
Here. Go crazy.
381
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:41,034
You know, if you help stretch
382
00:13:41,103 --> 00:13:42,758
you get a lot more
bang for your buck
383
00:13:42,827 --> 00:13:44,586
and i'’ll give you a
buffalo wing coupon.
384
00:13:44,655 --> 00:13:46,448
Oh, i'’ve never
stretched anything before.
385
00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:48,379
Well, except maybe
the truth now and then.
386
00:13:48,448 --> 00:13:50,724
Well, just grab the other half
387
00:13:50,793 --> 00:13:52,448
and give a good pull.
388
00:13:54,172 --> 00:13:56,241
This money'’s really
hard to hang on to.
389
00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:57,310
I hate this part.
390
00:13:59,827 --> 00:14:02,034
Oh, but I love this part. Whoo!
391
00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:04,724
Hey, I think there'’s
a game show here.
392
00:14:06,206 --> 00:14:08,344
You animal!
393
00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:12,344
It'’s like he grew an extra
hand over the weekend.
394
00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:15,482
Carlin: Isn'’t she gorgeous?
395
00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:17,344
She takes my breath away.
396
00:14:17,413 --> 00:14:19,586
Wow. I can see why. Mm-hmm.
397
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:22,793
I think this calls for
a little hearing helper.
398
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:23,965
She is a hottie.
399
00:14:24,034 --> 00:14:26,551
I cannot see how this
babe is your girlfriend.
400
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,827
Well, it'’s not official
yet, but i'’m working on it.
401
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,068
I can definitely see myself
402
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,034
spending the rest of
my life with this one.
403
00:14:32,103 --> 00:14:33,034
Oh, really?
404
00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:34,793
Well, here'’s what I see.
405
00:14:36,689 --> 00:14:40,517
Nobody makes a fool of
Zelda spellman except me.
406
00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:43,965
And not only is he showing
off pictures of that little hottie
407
00:14:44,034 --> 00:14:47,344
he'’s also talking about spending
the rest of his life with her.
408
00:14:47,413 --> 00:14:48,724
Is that in the agreement?
409
00:14:48,793 --> 00:14:51,034
Hilda, we Don'’t have
anything in writing.
410
00:14:51,103 --> 00:14:52,655
That was your first mistake.
411
00:14:52,724 --> 00:14:54,965
Your second is letting
him string you along.
412
00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:57,137
Your third is reading
crime and punishment.
413
00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:59,000
Just watch reruns
of law and order.
414
00:14:59,068 --> 00:15:00,310
Oh, maybe you'’re right.
415
00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:03,034
If Arthur really is that
serious about someone else
416
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,689
I should at least know about it.
417
00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:08,827
Oh, hallelujah! My
work here is done.
418
00:15:08,896 --> 00:15:11,379
Now, who else'’s life
can I get involved in?
419
00:15:11,448 --> 00:15:12,448
[ Gasps]
420
00:15:12,482 --> 00:15:14,068
[ Yowls]
421
00:15:19,206 --> 00:15:21,137
You got our money.
422
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:24,551
Yep, every last cent
that Morgan owed us.
423
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:25,862
Here'’s yours and yours.
424
00:15:25,931 --> 00:15:28,103
All right! This calls
for a celebration.
425
00:15:28,172 --> 00:15:29,689
Way ahead of
you. I ordered pizza.
426
00:15:29,758 --> 00:15:32,034
I'’ll eat anything that
wasn'’t grown in a husk.
427
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:33,724
[ Doorbell rings]
428
00:15:33,793 --> 00:15:35,862
Hi. What do I owe you?
429
00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:36,931
$11.50.
430
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:42,586
Very funny. Now, how
about the real stuff?
431
00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:43,665
This isn'’t the real stuff?
432
00:15:43,689 --> 00:15:45,620
I thought it was.
433
00:15:45,689 --> 00:15:47,137
Here. Take mine.
434
00:15:49,413 --> 00:15:52,034
Guys, I got pies that
are getting soggy.
435
00:15:52,103 --> 00:15:55,034
Can somebody please
give me some usable cash?
436
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:01,551
Sabrina, what'’s going on here?
437
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,275
Oh, uh, you know, Morgan'’s dad
438
00:16:03,344 --> 00:16:05,206
has a really wacky
sense of humor.
439
00:16:05,275 --> 00:16:08,620
I bet he bought this fake
money at a joke shop, you know
440
00:16:08,689 --> 00:16:10,344
to teach her a funny lesson.
441
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:13,758
It really is funny, isn'’t it?
442
00:16:13,827 --> 00:16:15,517
My sides are splitting.
443
00:16:15,586 --> 00:16:16,586
And So am I.
444
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:17,517
I can'’t believe this.
445
00:16:17,586 --> 00:16:18,689
Me, neither.
446
00:16:18,758 --> 00:16:20,965
I was this close to
starch andthe protein.
447
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,724
Oh, well, there'’s
still good news.
448
00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:24,068
Even if the money is fake
449
00:16:24,137 --> 00:16:26,206
Morgan'’s out looking
for a job right now.
450
00:16:26,275 --> 00:16:27,275
She'’ll pay us back.
451
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:29,413
With what? Exploding quarters?
452
00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:31,689
It'’s a jungle out there.
453
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,758
I need a Perrier and a biscotti.
454
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,965
How'’d the job hunt go?
455
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:38,034
Very disappointing.
456
00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,896
None of the
places that I went to
457
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:41,310
lived up to my standards.
458
00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:42,379
Yourstandards?
459
00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:43,655
Morgan, you'’re supposed to be
460
00:16:43,724 --> 00:16:45,034
living up to theirstandards.
461
00:16:45,103 --> 00:16:46,896
You know, you'’re
never going to get a job
462
00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,793
unless you stop acting
like a prima Donna.
463
00:16:48,862 --> 00:16:51,068
Well, I Don'’t know if I can.
464
00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:53,827
This is the way
i'’ve always acted.
465
00:16:53,896 --> 00:16:56,448
Little tip: It doesn'’t
work for you anymore.
466
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:58,344
It'’s not working
for us, either.
467
00:16:58,413 --> 00:17:00,310
Last night I ate gum for dinner.
468
00:17:00,379 --> 00:17:02,458
We'’re not sunk yet. Morgan,
you work on your attitude
469
00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:03,482
and i'’m going to go talk
470
00:17:03,551 --> 00:17:05,424
to the guy responsible
for this whole money mess.
471
00:17:05,448 --> 00:17:09,551
Finally, someone'’s going
to stand up to my father.
472
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,206
Wally, I got a problem.
473
00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:14,517
You and me both.
474
00:17:14,586 --> 00:17:17,172
Bad enough I got to launder
money for these dang customers.
475
00:17:17,241 --> 00:17:18,931
Now they want me
to fluff and fold it.
476
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,068
Well, this dang customer
wants to know why
477
00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:23,517
the dollar we stretched
turned into mini money.
478
00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:26,931
I guess that'’s what it'’s
worth in the mortal realm.
479
00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:28,827
You know, in Neptune
480
00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:30,448
you'’d be living like a king.
481
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,379
You'’d freeze your
butt off, though.
482
00:17:32,448 --> 00:17:33,551
Well, can you do something?
483
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,103
My friend drained my bank
account, and she won'’t get a job
484
00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:38,172
because she thinks she'’s
too good for everybody.
485
00:17:38,241 --> 00:17:40,758
Oh, that'’s a whole
different bucket of bait.
486
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,137
Your friend doesn'’t
need money stretched.
487
00:17:43,206 --> 00:17:44,689
She needs humble pie.
488
00:17:44,758 --> 00:17:45,941
You mean that dark brown stuff
489
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,551
that causes you to
become really modest
490
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,100
and leaves that
unpleasant aftertaste?
491
00:17:49,137 --> 00:17:50,379
Not the way my wife makes it.
492
00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:51,827
Patty, come out here!
493
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,172
Got a girl out here
494
00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:56,241
who wants one of your
marvelous humble pies!
495
00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:59,482
They'’re really
not all that good.
496
00:17:59,551 --> 00:18:03,034
I can'’t bake anywhere
near as well as my mother.
497
00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:05,551
I'’m not even
worthy of her recipe.
498
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,896
Well, looks like someone'’s
been picking at the pie.
499
00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:10,034
Ain'’t nobody a bigger
pie picker than my Patty.
500
00:18:10,103 --> 00:18:12,137
Sold. I'’ll take one humble pie.
501
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,344
Thanks.
502
00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:16,586
Sabrina, i'’m not
much of a pie person
503
00:18:16,655 --> 00:18:19,275
and i'’m really trying
to cut back on desserts.
504
00:18:19,344 --> 00:18:21,517
Oh, but this pie is
super low in arrogance...
505
00:18:21,586 --> 00:18:22,586
I mean, calories.
506
00:18:22,655 --> 00:18:24,896
You know, you have
been out busting your butt
507
00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:26,103
trying to get a job
508
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,586
and I thought you
could use a little treat.
509
00:18:28,655 --> 00:18:30,000
It does look good.
510
00:18:31,034 --> 00:18:32,034
And you'’re right.
511
00:18:32,068 --> 00:18:33,793
After what I have been through
512
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:36,586
no one deserves a little
pampering more than me.
513
00:18:36,655 --> 00:18:38,000
Absolutely.
514
00:18:44,482 --> 00:18:46,241
Mmm...
515
00:18:46,310 --> 00:18:47,896
This is fabulous.
516
00:18:51,724 --> 00:18:54,965
Mmm. Out of this world.
517
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,793
[ Magical ping]
518
00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:59,241
And far better than I deserve.
519
00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:01,482
Oh, you deserve
it. Keep shoveling.
520
00:19:01,551 --> 00:19:03,896
This is really starting
to make me feel...
521
00:19:03,965 --> 00:19:05,310
Humble enough
to go look for work?
522
00:19:05,379 --> 00:19:07,310
Exactly.
523
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:09,517
I just hope that i'’m worthy
524
00:19:09,586 --> 00:19:13,103
of all those wonderful
employers out there.
525
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:14,827
Oh, i'’m sure you are...
526
00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:17,620
Now.
527
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:19,068
Hilda, I can handle this myself.
528
00:19:19,137 --> 00:19:21,379
You could, but then, where
would the fun be for me?
529
00:19:21,448 --> 00:19:22,344
[ Gasps]
530
00:19:22,413 --> 00:19:23,344
There he is!
531
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,620
I know what he looks like.
532
00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:26,793
Uh... Arthur.
533
00:19:26,862 --> 00:19:28,413
Zelda.
534
00:19:28,482 --> 00:19:29,965
You look lovely.
535
00:19:30,034 --> 00:19:31,896
Oh, right, you big liar!
536
00:19:31,965 --> 00:19:33,068
Shh!
537
00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:34,413
Arthur
538
00:19:34,482 --> 00:19:35,413
we need to talk.
539
00:19:35,482 --> 00:19:36,862
Don'’t you think if you want
540
00:19:36,931 --> 00:19:38,793
to start dating
someone exclusively
541
00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:40,344
you should tell me about it?
542
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,482
Oh, actually, I was
going to tell you tonight.
543
00:19:42,551 --> 00:19:43,551
Yeah, right.
544
00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:45,413
String her along
while you run around
545
00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:46,689
with that little lolita
546
00:19:46,758 --> 00:19:49,758
whose picture you keep showing
to every Tom, dick and Harry!
547
00:19:49,827 --> 00:19:53,793
You mean this picture
of the woman I adore?
548
00:19:55,551 --> 00:19:57,000
Wow. You look great.
549
00:19:57,068 --> 00:20:00,827
You see, I told you you
had nothing to worry about.
550
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,413
I'’ve never seen a person
try to make their own velcro.
551
00:20:08,482 --> 00:20:10,965
Oh, it'’s just a little
birthday present insurance
552
00:20:11,034 --> 00:20:13,482
you know, just in case
Morgan doesn'’t get a job
553
00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:15,137
and I have to buy Josh a vest.
554
00:20:15,206 --> 00:20:16,413
What do you think?
555
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:19,034
Stuff it with candy and
you'’ve got a pinata.
556
00:20:19,103 --> 00:20:20,413
Well, I did it.
557
00:20:20,482 --> 00:20:21,758
I got a job.
558
00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:23,907
Great. Great. Oh, that'’s
fantastic. Congratulations.
559
00:20:23,965 --> 00:20:24,896
Thanks.
560
00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:25,965
It won'’t be long
561
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,689
before i'’ll be able
to pay you all back.
562
00:20:27,758 --> 00:20:29,310
Great, because
this birthday present
563
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:31,241
would have been the
end of my relationship.
564
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:33,344
So, where will you be working?
565
00:20:33,413 --> 00:20:35,482
In the coffee house...
566
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:36,862
With you!
567
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,724
We'’re going to have
so much fun together.
568
00:20:39,793 --> 00:20:41,689
Yeah, it'’s going to be great.
569
00:20:44,689 --> 00:20:46,724
Look at her. It'’s
like she was born
570
00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:48,793
to clear tables
and schlep coffee.
571
00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:51,551
Yeah, I guess that humble
pie really did the trick.
572
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:52,896
You gave her humble pie?!
573
00:20:52,965 --> 00:20:53,793
Yeah. Something wrong?
574
00:20:53,862 --> 00:20:54,793
Just a little.
575
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,344
If someone who eats humble pie
576
00:20:56,413 --> 00:20:58,172
runs into someone
who takes the cake
577
00:20:58,241 --> 00:20:59,551
it cancels out everything.
578
00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,000
Hi. My name is Morgan
579
00:21:01,068 --> 00:21:03,517
and i'’m honored to
be your waitress today.
580
00:21:03,586 --> 00:21:04,896
What can I get for you?
581
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:05,965
I'’ll take the cake.
582
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:06,724
No!
583
00:21:06,793 --> 00:21:07,793
[ Magical ping]
584
00:21:07,827 --> 00:21:09,448
Get it yourself.
585
00:21:09,517 --> 00:21:10,827
I'’m going on break.
586
00:21:10,896 --> 00:21:12,586
See you in three hours.
587
00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:15,000
So, I think the new
girl'’s really working out.
42212
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