All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S05E18.Witchright.Hall.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Sabrina, is it my imagination

or do you eat more with us now

than when you lived here?

Well, I couldn'’t stay away

and nobody makes
goulash like aunt Zelda.

The trick is to
marinate the ghoul.

[ Dings] Oh, who
would be so rude

as to send us
mail at dinnertime?

It'’s from cousin marigold.

[ Gasps]

She wants to send
her daughter Amanda

to live with us for a year.

The same Amanda who
set our house on fire?

And locked me in a jar?

I'’m so out of here.

Wait, Sabrina.

Oh, poor Amanda'’s
worse than ever.

Can a person be
worse than pure evil?

This is so sad.

Her mother just got
married for the 19th time

and Amanda'’s
not taking it well.

That makes two of us.

I'’m still trying to bag
husband number one.

Marigold thinks if Amanda
goes to school in the mortal realm

and lives here with us

we might be able
to straighten her out.

Zelda, this is a
huge commitment.

We'’re going to have
to think long and hard

before we agree to anything.

No, she can'’t come.

When'’s Amanda
supposed to be here?

[ Loud rumbling and thunderclap]

Please let that
be an earthquake.

Hi, everybody.

Thank you so, so
much for taking me in.

Ooh, what died in here?

That would be our dinner.

I'’ll order in.

I guess since you'’re at college

i'’ll be taking over your room.

I think it'’s going
to be really cool

once I change
everything about it.

Well, that just
killed my appetite.

I think it killed everybody'’s.

[ Noisy eating]

Well, not everybody'’s.

[ Belches and grunts]

♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪

♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪

♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪

♪ I wanna make it last...

♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪

♪ and I like the way it feels.

All right, well, that was fun.

See you in a year.

Honey, we'’re sorry
Amanda'’s taking over your room

but we can'’t turn
our backs on family.

Oh, I wouldn'’t turn my
back on Amanda ever.

We'’ll make sure she doesn'’t
disturb any of your things.

[ Banging and crashing]

Thanks for taking care of that.

Salem'’s right.
The girl'’s pure evil.

Ooh... can I borrow this purse?

Yeah, keep it all.

I'’ll be sure to write.

Zelda, what are we going to do?

We can'’t send
that little monster

to a mortal high school.

Well, maybe we
could home school her.

Over my dead body.

[ Gasps]

Oh, look. A video.

From marigold.

How thoughtful.

It'’s probably 20 years overdue,
and she wants us to return it.

Oh, look, there'’s a note.

"I just met someone on my
honeymoon who gave me this.

Try it if you'’re
desperate and frustrated."

That'’s when I
usually rent a video.

Man: Typical suburban teenagers

living in a typical
suburban home.

Not.

Welcome to witchright hall

where rebellious and magically
challenged young witches

learn to function
in the mortal realm.

Hot diggety, our
troubles are over.

Where children live and go
to school under the same roof

learning to control
their magical impulses

and use their
powers appropriately.

I'’ve seen enough.
I'’ll get the checkbook.

You throw Amanda in
the car. Wait one minute.

To the neighborhood

we'’re simply a
loving couple who...

Adopt delinquent youths.

Oh, my god.

That'’s James hexton.

Thejames hexton?

Who'’s James hexton?

The man whose heart I shattered

into a million
pieces back in 1469.

Oh, he said he'’d
never forgive me.

Now I remember.

He waded through a moat
of alligators just to see you

and you slammed
the door in his face.

I see his leg grew back.

This is a disaster.

If you take Amanda to
the school for an interview

she'’ll never get in.

He'’s right.

Someone else will
have to take her.

I can'’t get
anybody into school.

Daddy had to donate
a fleet of volkswagens

to get me into clown college.

No, no, no, no, no.

On second thought... no.

I'’ll buy you a Porsche.

Keep talking.

Hilda...

You can'’t bribe Sabrina into
doing the right thing for her family.

Stay out of this.

Give me ten more seconds

i'’ll have her palms so
greased she'’ll need a drip pan.

Listen to me, Sabrina.

Witchright hall is
Amanda'’s last chance.

If she doesn'’t
get accepted there

she'’ll be banished to
the mortal realm forever

causing destruction
wherever she goes.

Unbelievable.

I am this close to
getting a 911 turbo

and you play the
apocalypse card.

I am good.

Sabrina: Amanda, turn that frown
upside down. You'’ll love it here.

Man: What do you want?
Why do I care?[ Doorbell rings]

Uh, we have an appointment
with the headmaster.

Amanda wickam and
her cousin Sabrina.

We'’re a little early...

Because everybody hates me

and they can'’t
wait to get rid of me.

Man: Well, you sound
like a real peach.

Door'’s open.

Oh, look at this
sweet-looking dog.

Here, boy.

First off, i'’m old enough
to be your grandfather.

Secondly

the name is Phil.

Oh, a dog named Phil.

Any relation to a boy named sue?

Hands off, toots.

I'’m not one of your
touchy-feely types.

I happen to be the head
of the phys ed department.

Now, both of you
drop and give me 20.

No way. I Don'’t
go to school here.

Yet.

Okay, let'’s get

a move on, you lard bottoms.

Girl: Coming, coach Phil.

Pathetic bunch.

I know yorkies who
run faster than you.

Well, we know one thing:

The phys ed department is solid.

Yeah, I wonder what kind of
slobbering animal teaches history?

That would be me.

James hexton, headmaster.

In a few weeks

I should have the
slobbering under control.

She didn'’t mean that.

This is Amanda and
i'’m her cousin Sabrina.

Delighted.

Oh, um, would you
excuse me a minute?

A mob of angry women is
about to show up at the door.

This is a decent...!

Make that mob of angry men.

I'’m so hit and miss today.

Man: Hexton

that hormone-crazed son of yours

is ruining our
daughters'’ lives.

Oh, lord, and
it'’s only just 4:00.

All right, back in a jiff.

Well, I for one am
loving this place.

Great. Then you stay here and i'’ll
move in with your roommates at college.

Nicely done.

Oh, i'’ve often practiced
that technique myself

but I keep coming up
against the same obstacle.

Irritable spell syndrome?

I'’m mortal.

The only magic I can do
involves mascara and...

Lady clairol.

Robin Davis, school director.

I'’m guessing that feisty
little frozen thing is Amanda.

Uh-huh. I'’m her room
temperature cousin, Sabrina.

We have an appointment
with professor hexton.

Oh, you are in for a treat.

The man is a true innovator.

This morning he took
his world history class

back in time to meet Gandhi.

Really?

Yeah, they learned

about passive resistance

and then treated the
mahatma to an everything bagel.

Oh, right now he'’s on the porch

practicing passive resistance
on some irate neighbors.

Bet that'’s going well.

Be right back.

This is a decent place live.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

What seems to be
the problem today?

Our daughters are so busy
mooning over your boy, Sean

they can'’t eat, sleep
or do their homework.

You gotta love me.

Well, I Don'’t think they gotta.

It just weird. It'’s like
he'’s got all the girls

in the neighborhood hypnotized.

Hypnotized?

Let me assure you
my husband and I

will do everything in our power

to squelch whatever magic
Sean wields over your daughters.

You know, this town thinks

you and your husband
are doing a fine thing

taking in these screwed-up kids

but if you can'’t control
them, be advised:

We'’ve got a really
testykiwanis club.

Oh, well, let that
be a warning to us.

You put some kind
of romantic spell

on those girls, didn'’t you?

It seemed to work nicely

with the dork spell I
put on their boyfriends.

Sean, you can'’t play
around with people'’s feelings.

Oh, unlike you two,
who can play around

with the most sacred
institution in the mortal realm?

Indian bingo?

You pretend you'’re married.

For your protection...

To keep away
suspicious neighbors.

Working like a charm so far.

Don'’t you mouth off to us.

I'’m sending you up to your room

and taking away your magic.

Now, give me the finger.

With pleasure.

You know what I mean.

Very impressive.

Oh, it'’s been a busy week.

Got fingers coming out of my...

Don'’t ask.

Okay, Sabrina.

What do you say we
defrost your cousin

and get this interview rolling?

Oh, my god, I did it.

No, it was me.

It'’s always you.

Nice meeting you.

Catch up with you later.

If you'’d care to come this way.

Oh, well, when in Rome...

Well, first off, let'’s make
ourselves comfortable.

Oh, well...

We'’re already comfortable.

We felt at home the
minute we walked

in the door, right, Amanda?

This place bites.

It can.

I wouldn'’t pet the
phys ed teacher.

All right, let'’s
review your file.

Wickam file, wickam file.

I know I put it somewhere.

Excuse me.

Ah, yes.

Uh, wickam

I believe...

Yes, here we are.

Let'’s see.

You'’ve been expelled
from 12 different schools.

You forced 14 teachers
into early retirement...

One into a straitjacket.

On the other hand,
you were the top seller

in the other realm
high magazine drive.

That'’s what I love about
Amanda... she'’s a real go-getter.

It says here you never
turned in the money.

That'’s because I spent
it on a mountain bike.

No, wait. I stole the bike.

I spent the money
on a Kate spade bag.

So Amanda has a problem
with dishonesty and greed

but that'’s just because of
her troubled background.

I think if you get
to know Amanda

you will see that she is a
good spirit with a kind heart.

Oh! Ow!

See how quickly she
warmed up to you?

I'’m so sorry... i'’m
sure if I just make

a few phone calls, I can
get all of Amanda'’s records.

Not necessary.

I know the type of
student i'’m dealing with.

Oh, please, professor

there'’s a lot more to
Amanda than meets the eye.

I-I mean, she'’s very
serious about school.

I'’ll have a banana split

two scoops of vanilla,
with chocolate sprinkles.

Oh, and, uh... get a little
something for yourself.

I Don'’t think so.

Well, so much for the interview.

Now, when can you
come back for the tour?

Hmm.

Never?

Or now, or sooner, you know.

Whatever works for you.

How about after
my faculty meeting?

Oh, Amanda'’s flexible.

What a kid!

All right, let'’s begin

today'’s meeting
with old business.

Any old business?

Yes, we need
equipment for the gym.

We Don'’t have a gym.

We need a gym.

I'’ll look into it.

Any new business?

I think we should
talk about Sean.

He'’s been wreaking havoc
around here for months

and, frankly, I Don'’t know
if we can turn him around.

Let me handle it.

There'’s a pack of rottweilers

downtown who owe me.

You want to have a student

attacked by a pack of wild dogs?

You make it sound so dirty.

Maybe that'’s because
my approach to education

doesn'’t usually
involve drawing blood.

James, he'’s been bringing
the entire neighborhood

to our door and jeopardizing

the security of the school.

We may have to
consider expulsion.

I cannot believe
what I am hearing.

Are you telling me you want

to just give up on
a troubled youth

and turn him out on the street?

I'’m with the broad.

Dump the chump.

Tough love, baby.

Yeah, well, forgive me

if I Don'’t take the
advice of someone

who scratches himself
at the dining room table.

I'’m not giving up on Sean.

If the witches had
given up on me

when I was at correctional
school, where would I be today?

Congress?

Do we have any beer nuts?

All right, that'’s it.

Meeting adjourned.

Robin, why Don'’t you
show Sabrina and Amanda

around the school.

Then later, i'’ll have Amanda
sit in on my ethics class.

How can I be of service?

You can clean up the mess
you left in the backyard.

Deal.

But I want a new dental plan.

Hi.

You must be Amanda.

Are you a new student here?

I hope not.

You'’re negative.

I used to be negative.

Now, I just want to
make a good impression

and have people like me

for the positive,
uplifting person that I am.

Good luck with that.

Thanks.

[ Clock chimes]

Time for class.

Are you sitting in?

Wouldn'’t miss it.

Great, you can
sit right next to me.

The seat is always empty.

What a shock.

Hey, everybody.

Let'’s give a warm welcome
to our guest, Amanda.

I love that outfit.

It'’s yours.

That'’s the best
you guys can do?

And you call
yourselves delinquents?

Ah, I do all right.

The other day, I zapped

a third cheek onto
professor hexton'’s butt.

You'’re still doing butt jokes?

That'’s so second grade.

So, what do you do for fun?

You'’re looking at the witch

who put the hole
in the ozone layer.

Wow, I didn'’t know girls
could do stuff like that.

Well, you Don'’t know this girl.

Okay, so here'’s the
plan for today'’s class.

You...

The minute hexton starts to talk

release the killer bees.

[ Bees buzzing]

You...

When the mood strikes

unleash tornado in a drum.

And stay low.

[ Wind howls]

And you, smiley

take your pick: Salmonella

or mad cow disease.

I like them both.

Aren'’t we going
to get in trouble?

Hello, we'’re witches.

You people have
so much to learn.

[ Hissing]

And i'’ll be the
one teaching them

thank you very much.

Now, please take your
seats and i'’ll take those jars.

Well, miss wickam...

[ Clears throat]

You certainly are
quite bold for a guest.

I'’m just getting warmed up.

Listen to me, dearie.

I'’ve been a witch since
the Spanish inquisition

and if torquemada didn'’t
scare me, you certainly Don'’t.

All right, now, where did
we leave off yesterday?

I was telling Sean
how I used my magic

to hack into the
computers at the Pentagon

and you were babbling
on about something.

Ethics.

Doesn'’t ring a bell.

Ah, yes, now I remember.

I was about to pose a problem.

Suppose... Suppose
you meet a mortal

with whom you'’re interested
in having a relationship.

How would you go about that?

Sam.

Well, i'’d use a
mind-reading spell

to amass data from her brain

and then photographically
memorize her interests.

News flash, dude.

You'’re photographing
the wrong stuff.

Yes, just the person
you want to listen to.

The only way he can
get a girl to like him

is to put a spell on her.

Now, can anyone tell me

what'’s wrong with
what Sean did?

He got caught.

Hmm... oh, yes, he did

and now his magic
finger lives in this jar...

With a toe.

Can'’t explain.

All right, now,
listen up, people.

Here'’s the deal.

You can'’t find a relationship

in a potion bottle.

Oh, sure, you can
manipulate people

but real friendship,
true love...

They need more
than magic to survive.

They need human emotion.

What makes you such an expert?

Well, I wouldn'’t exactly
call myself an expert

but I do have some good friends

and I did know
true love... once.

Hmm.

It was the summer of '’69...

1469, and botticelli was having

one of his backyard barbecues.

Suddenly, I looked
up and saw a vision

due west of a suckling pig.

She was beautiful.

Hmm... she was brilliant

and for a brief moment
in time, she was mine.

What happened?

Ah, she left me for that
studmuffin, Gutenberg.

Ah, big deal.

So the guy printed a Bible.

It'’s not like he wrote
the blasted thing.

Sorry.

Well, maybe if you'’d used magic

you would have stayed together.

Ah, but it wouldn'’t have
been the same, would it?

Because i'’d already
experienced real magic...

That all-consuming passion
that comes from within.

That'’s the most romantic
story i'’ve ever heard

but if anybody ever
dumps me for a Bible maker

they'’re toast.

[ Energy ricocheting]

So, are you saying a guy like me

can get a girl without
using any magic?

I did.

But she, like, totally
broke your heart.

Hmm.

Letting me know I had one.

Now, why Don'’t you
see if you can find yours.

All right, people,
i'’m going to let you

ponder these matters for a while

while I take these
jars to the landfill.

Carry on.

Okay, Amanda, what else
you got in that magic bag?

Everything from cold
sores to cold wars.

Cool.

Let me be the first to say

you'’d be a real
asset to this school.

And... you can help
me with the yearbook.

We still have a number
of applications to review

before we fill the
space, but we'’ll call you

as soon as we make our decision.

Okay, well, we'’ll be
waiting by the phone

or the toaster, you know,
whichever'’s quicker.

All right, let me have it...
you hate this place, right?

I Don'’t know, it beats living

with stepfather number 19.

Amanda, that is the most
positive thing you'’ve ever said.

You must really like it here.

Well, it'’s the first place
I ever felt I belonged.

If you get accepted
here, you Don'’t have to be

shuttled back and forth
from realm to realm.

I mean, you could really
find some stability here

and turn your life around.

Yeah, it all sounds good

but I learned a long time ago

not to get my hopes up.

I'’ll put in a good word for you

but it may not
carry much weight...

I'’m an umbrella.

[ Laughs]

What'’s taking so long?

Why haven'’t they called yet?

When they do, can
I answer the phone?

I want to hear James'’s
voice one more time.

Amanda really liked the place.

I sure hope she gets in.

That makes four of us.

Five of us.

[ Phone rings]

Hello.

Hi, hi, professor hexton.

So?

No?

Oh! Oh, say it ain'’t so!

But she was so...

I see... but Amanda
really liked...

Okay... thanks, anyway.

I Don'’t believe this.

You? We'’re the
ones who are going

to be stuck living with her.

Did they give you
any explanation

as to why they didn'’t
accept Amanda?

No, but they'’re going to.

Is it okay if I go to compumart

to look at hard drives?

Well, after you
clear your place.

The right way, please.

[ Silverware clinks]

I caught the end of
your lecture today.

It was very moving.

Oh, thanks.

Do you think it had
any effect on the kids?

Well, I know it made me
look at things a bit differently.

Do you think that you could
ever love that way again?

Well, I suppose
it'’s... possible.

I can'’t believe you
rejected my cousin, Amanda.

If she'’s not right for
this nuthouse, who is?

Hillary kursburg.

Thanks to her

the cubs haven'’t won a
world series since 1908.

We take only

the most extreme cases.

At the end of the day

we felt that Amanda just
wasn'’t as troubled a soul.

She'’s a nightmare!

She'’s a spoiled,
selfish little brat

who'’s been nothing but trouble

since the day she was born.

We thought she was rather nice.

Actually, that'’s the main
reason we rejected her.

Well, you saw the
well-behaved Amanda.

Want to see the real Amanda?

Watch what happens when she
finds out she didn'’t get accepted.

She'’s going to go ballistic.

Anything?

Did the school call?

Yes, sweetheart.

Well, did I get in?

Salem: In your
dreams, sweetheart.

Nasty cat.

Oh, you think he'’s bad.

Ten to one says she
blows up the house.

[ Amanda whimpers]

She'’s crying!

Tears of rage, I assure you.

I really liked it there.

I mean, it'’s the first place
that ever felt like home.

Amazing!

Amanda'’s the first
student ever to cry

because she
didn'’t get accepted.

Normally, they cry
because they do.

She can change, I promise!

No, that won'’t be necessary.

Any witch who'’s that
desperate to be here

deserves a place.

You mean, you'’ll accept her?

What about the kursburg girl?

Oh, she'’s small. We
can squeeze her in.

How soon can you
have Amanda here?

Oh, sooner than you can imagine.

Just so we'’re clear

i'’m not sharing a
room with anybody.

[ Doorbell rings]

I'’ll get it.

Well, hello.

Hi, my name'’s Tiffany.

I'’m selling raffle
tickets for my church.

They'’re only a dollar.
Are you interested?

I'’m interested.

I'’ll take five tickets.

I guess we'’ll see if he
learned anything in class.

I Don'’t see why

a guy who looks like
that even needs magic.

Thank you very much.

No, thank you.

If you want a kiss, I
need dinner and a movie.

Where'’s the girl?

In your sick little mind.

Now give me 50 laps

and take a cold shower.

And... i'’m keeping
the five smackeroos.

Man...

Well, I can'’t say I like
your tactics very much

but you made your point.

However, I refuse
to give up on Sean.

Hexton, you'’re softer
than a chewed-up slipper.

Which reminds me,
my gums are killing me.

How about that dental plan?