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1
00:00:05,689 --> 00:00:08,724
Oh, that one'’s yours.
2
00:00:08,793 --> 00:00:10,379
Sorry, 30 waffles is my limit,
3
00:00:10,448 --> 00:00:12,137
and that'’s something
I really didn'’t want
4
00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:13,586
to know about myself.
5
00:00:13,655 --> 00:00:15,206
Let me guess.
6
00:00:15,275 --> 00:00:16,517
A tribute to Belgium?
7
00:00:16,586 --> 00:00:19,310
We'’re trying to win the
great waffle sweepstakes.
8
00:00:19,379 --> 00:00:22,517
Inside one of these specially
marked boxes of wittles waffles
9
00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:24,206
is a genuine, solid-gold waffle.
10
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,034
Some parts of
Canada not eligible.
11
00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:29,689
Oh, good, I thought you
were just wasting time.
12
00:00:29,758 --> 00:00:32,000
When you'’re finished
with the toaster,
13
00:00:32,068 --> 00:00:34,148
would you send this through
to the other realm for me?
14
00:00:34,172 --> 00:00:35,448
Oh, man, you got called
15
00:00:35,517 --> 00:00:36,965
for witches'’ council duty?
16
00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:39,793
Yeah, and I have to send
in a postponement letter.
17
00:00:39,862 --> 00:00:41,896
I'’m just too busy
with my chemistry.
18
00:00:41,965 --> 00:00:43,827
I Don'’t have to do
witches'’ duty anymore.
19
00:00:43,896 --> 00:00:46,172
That'’s just one of the
perks of being a felon.
20
00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:49,275
Please Don'’t forget to send it.
21
00:00:49,344 --> 00:00:51,758
What do we look
like to you, morons?
22
00:00:51,827 --> 00:00:53,275
Get the camera.
23
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,379
Oh...
24
00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:56,758
I promise i'’ll send it.
25
00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:57,965
Thanks.
26
00:00:58,034 --> 00:00:59,172
Oh, by the way,
27
00:00:59,241 --> 00:01:01,482
did you happen to think
that the solid-gold waffle
28
00:01:01,551 --> 00:01:03,000
might be in the heavy box?
29
00:01:21,275 --> 00:01:23,517
Why Don'’t you come
up and see me sometime?
30
00:01:23,586 --> 00:01:24,620
But call first.
31
00:01:30,241 --> 00:01:32,068
Look at him, Sabrina...
32
00:01:32,137 --> 00:01:34,137
Kirk... isn'’t he beautiful?
33
00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:36,275
And it'’s all on the
outside where it matters.
34
00:01:36,344 --> 00:01:38,655
Hey... you'’re on the
football team with kirk.
35
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,241
Tell me everything
you know about him.
36
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:42,206
I think he gets
athlete'’s foot a lot.
37
00:01:43,344 --> 00:01:46,344
Carry me over, sweet jehovah.
38
00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:50,103
You okay? You seem kind of down.
39
00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:52,931
I just found out that
Joseph Stalin was a bad guy.
40
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,275
Yeah, the whole school'’s
taking it really hard.
41
00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:56,551
No... it means I flunked
42
00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:57,827
my European history exam.
43
00:01:57,896 --> 00:01:59,344
I didn'’t have time to study
44
00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:02,000
now that coach added an
extra hour to football practice.
45
00:02:02,068 --> 00:02:04,044
I'’m sure if you talked to him,
he'’d have let you out early.
46
00:02:04,068 --> 00:02:05,517
I did talk to him.
47
00:02:05,586 --> 00:02:09,206
Coach said, "anybody can
read, but you can'’t teach speed."
48
00:02:09,275 --> 00:02:10,827
That'’s ridiculous.
49
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:12,448
But I guess that makes sense
50
00:02:12,517 --> 00:02:15,448
coming from a guy who
wears a weight belt to lunch.
51
00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:16,586
Salem: What you writing?
52
00:02:16,655 --> 00:02:18,275
It'’s an editorial for
our school paper
53
00:02:18,344 --> 00:02:20,620
about how too much emphasis
is placed on school sports
54
00:02:20,689 --> 00:02:22,907
and not enough on our school'’s
intellectual achievements.
55
00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:24,724
Seriously, what are you writing?
56
00:02:24,793 --> 00:02:25,793
Hey.
57
00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:28,344
Careful... tree in the kitchen.
58
00:02:28,413 --> 00:02:29,620
Thanks.
59
00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:31,965
Oh, I must have
spilled some bark extract
60
00:02:32,034 --> 00:02:34,620
when I was making a
spell for that guy I dated.
61
00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:35,827
Randy?
62
00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:38,275
Yeah... oh, I hope it made him
63
00:02:38,344 --> 00:02:40,068
a better listener.
64
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:41,137
[ Moaning]
65
00:02:41,172 --> 00:02:43,241
[ Sobbing]
66
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:44,655
Zelda: Hilda!
67
00:02:44,724 --> 00:02:47,379
You forgot to mail my
postponement letter.
68
00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:49,931
I have witches'’ council
duty starting tomorrow.
69
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,034
Oops.
70
00:02:51,103 --> 00:02:52,034
[ Sighs]
71
00:02:52,103 --> 00:02:53,310
I can'’t believe this.
72
00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,827
I was this close to
finding a cure for acne,
73
00:02:55,896 --> 00:02:58,000
and now there'’s
no hope for the oily.
74
00:02:58,068 --> 00:02:59,793
Why Don'’t you
just take the notice
75
00:02:59,862 --> 00:03:02,137
and throw it away and
say you never got it?
76
00:03:02,206 --> 00:03:03,665
I'’ve heard witches
do it all the time.
77
00:03:03,689 --> 00:03:05,000
Because it'’s wrong
78
00:03:05,068 --> 00:03:07,896
and I Don'’t want to set a
bad example for Sabrina.
79
00:03:07,965 --> 00:03:10,034
Don'’t worry... Watching
you throw away a letter
80
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:12,379
is not going to make me
knock over a liquor store.
81
00:03:12,448 --> 00:03:13,862
I mean, I definitely will serve.
82
00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:15,103
I-I want to serve.
83
00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:17,965
It'’s just that now
is not a good time.
84
00:03:18,034 --> 00:03:19,068
Attagirl.
85
00:03:23,275 --> 00:03:24,620
[ Sighs]
86
00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:27,793
Why couldn'’t I have
been an only child?
87
00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:30,413
What'’s going on here?
88
00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:32,724
Don'’t bother looking
for your editorial.
89
00:03:32,793 --> 00:03:33,896
I took it out.
90
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:36,379
It was totally offensive
to cheerleaders.
91
00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:38,241
You can'’t do that;
Valerie'’s the editor.
92
00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:40,103
Wrong. I am.
93
00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:45,344
Why is Libby saying
she'’s the editor?
94
00:03:45,413 --> 00:03:47,758
'’cause I kind of let her be
editor for a week in exchange
95
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,344
for introducing me to kirk.
96
00:03:49,413 --> 00:03:50,551
Yeah, that makes sense.
97
00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:52,424
They do that all the time
at the Washington post.
98
00:03:52,448 --> 00:03:54,172
Look, I know it
was a stupid idea,
99
00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:55,379
but I really think
100
00:03:55,448 --> 00:03:57,551
this is the guy i'’m
supposed to marry.
101
00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:58,931
Well, did you at least meet him?
102
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,172
Not... exactly.
103
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,586
Libby pushed his face
into the water fountain,
104
00:04:02,655 --> 00:04:03,586
then blamed me for it.
105
00:04:03,655 --> 00:04:06,482
He seemed more wet than smitten.
106
00:04:08,655 --> 00:04:10,068
Uh, the printer'’s
on my way home.
107
00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:11,482
I could take that if you want.
108
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:12,896
Gee, thanks.
109
00:04:28,275 --> 00:04:29,827
Much better.
110
00:04:32,551 --> 00:04:33,793
Sabrina...
111
00:04:33,862 --> 00:04:35,586
I really liked your editorial.
112
00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:37,586
Thanks... you
were my inspiration.
113
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:40,275
I know... I just hope
coach doesn'’t find out.
114
00:04:40,344 --> 00:04:42,482
Oh, well, blocking-sled
drill isn'’t so bad
115
00:04:42,551 --> 00:04:44,448
once you go numb.
116
00:04:45,896 --> 00:04:47,172
There you are.
117
00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:49,620
Hi, Libby, thanks for putting
my editorial in the paper.
118
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,344
I didn'’t! You must have.
119
00:04:51,413 --> 00:04:54,275
And you also must have
doctored this ridiculous photo of me.
120
00:04:54,344 --> 00:04:56,655
I Don'’t even like pie.
121
00:04:56,724 --> 00:04:57,827
Everybody likes pie.
122
00:04:57,896 --> 00:04:58,827
How can you win
123
00:04:58,896 --> 00:04:59,931
a pie-eating contest
124
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,275
if you Don'’t like pie?
125
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,724
[ Grunts in frustration]
126
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:06,758
Sabrina?
127
00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:08,241
You have to write a retraction
128
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:09,241
to your editorial.
129
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:10,379
What? But it'’s an opinion.
130
00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:11,655
You can'’t retract an opinion.
131
00:05:11,724 --> 00:05:13,172
Oh, you can and you will.
132
00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:14,872
You know, the biggest
donations to this school
133
00:05:14,896 --> 00:05:16,344
come from high school sports,
134
00:05:16,413 --> 00:05:17,965
and I will not let that go away
135
00:05:18,034 --> 00:05:19,793
because of some teenage Gandhi.
136
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,976
I'’m sorry, but I think it'’d
be wrong for me to do that.
137
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,172
Look, I am in charge here,
138
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:25,586
and in order to
maintain a free press,
139
00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:28,034
you will write
whatever I tell you to.
140
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:29,631
But I was sticking up
for my boyfriend, Harvey.
141
00:05:29,655 --> 00:05:30,275
Oh. I mean, he failed
142
00:05:30,344 --> 00:05:31,275
an important exam because
143
00:05:31,344 --> 00:05:32,527
the coach wouldn'’t
let him study.
144
00:05:32,551 --> 00:05:34,206
Your boyfriend'’s
name is Harvey?
145
00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:35,413
Uh, no.
146
00:05:35,482 --> 00:05:36,689
[ Coughing]
147
00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:37,689
Excuse me, i'’m choking.
148
00:05:37,758 --> 00:05:40,275
[ Coughing]
149
00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:41,827
Sabrina causing trouble again?
150
00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,379
Oh, I have seen her
type a million times.
151
00:05:44,448 --> 00:05:46,551
The individual.
152
00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:48,000
Keep your eye on her, Mr. Kraft.
153
00:05:48,068 --> 00:05:50,896
There'’s something
weird about that girl.
154
00:05:50,965 --> 00:05:54,068
You'’re a good American, Libby.
155
00:05:56,517 --> 00:05:57,896
You best take cover.
156
00:05:57,965 --> 00:06:01,862
Me and this tree here have
some business to tend to.
157
00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:02,941
Shouldn'’t we call
a professional?
158
00:06:02,965 --> 00:06:04,827
[Doorbell rings]
159
00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:05,965
Just a suggestion!
160
00:06:09,551 --> 00:06:11,103
Doorbell.
161
00:06:14,379 --> 00:06:15,758
Mr. Kraft.
162
00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,010
What are you doing at my house?
163
00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:20,103
Well, surprise is a vice
principal'’s only friend.
164
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,103
Zelda: Hello.
165
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,172
May I help you?
166
00:06:22,241 --> 00:06:23,551
Well, I certainly hope so.
167
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:24,724
I'’m Willard kraft.
168
00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,862
I'’m the vice principal
at westbridge high.
169
00:06:26,931 --> 00:06:28,379
[ Coughs]: Loser.
170
00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:29,724
I'’m Sabrina'’s aunt.
171
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:31,827
Is there some sort of problem?
172
00:06:31,896 --> 00:06:34,344
Well, Sabrina has written
a very offensive editorial,
173
00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:35,482
and I think it best
174
00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:37,413
that she write
a retraction to it.
175
00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:39,793
But it'’s an opinion... You
can'’t retract an opinion.
176
00:06:39,862 --> 00:06:41,000
That'’s what she said.
177
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,000
I mean, what is this
place, some kind of cult?
178
00:06:43,068 --> 00:06:45,620
[ Chain saw buzzing]
179
00:06:45,689 --> 00:06:47,103
And what is going on in there?
180
00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:49,517
Uh, we just have a
really loud ice-maker!
181
00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:57,965
♪
182
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,034
Oh, hi.
183
00:07:07,103 --> 00:07:08,620
I was...
184
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:10,965
"The holy city
which is your face
185
00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:13,620
your little cheeks
the streets of smiles."
186
00:07:13,689 --> 00:07:14,827
E.e. Cummings.
187
00:07:14,896 --> 00:07:16,068
Who are you?
188
00:07:16,137 --> 00:07:18,620
Willard kraft, vice principal.
189
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:19,724
Hilda spellman.
190
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:21,827
Not interested.
191
00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:23,758
I... I... i'’ve never
seen anything
192
00:07:23,827 --> 00:07:25,000
like this before.
193
00:07:25,068 --> 00:07:26,448
It'’s called a tree. Right.
194
00:07:26,517 --> 00:07:27,562
I'’m glad our niece
is being taught
195
00:07:27,586 --> 00:07:28,896
by someone so worldly.
196
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,724
You know, o-once
you get this out of here,
197
00:07:30,793 --> 00:07:32,379
the floor is going to be a mess.
198
00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:36,482
I-I'’d be happy to... give
you some tips on refinishing,
199
00:07:36,551 --> 00:07:39,413
you know, over coffee...
200
00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:42,758
Or maybe dinner and dancing.
201
00:07:42,827 --> 00:07:43,965
No.
202
00:07:45,172 --> 00:07:47,068
[Chain saw buzzing]
203
00:07:48,310 --> 00:07:49,379
[School bell ringing]
204
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,275
I know my mother
says i'’m too dramatic,
205
00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:55,827
but this time i'’m serious.
206
00:07:55,896 --> 00:07:57,344
If I Don'’t talk to kirk soon,
207
00:07:57,413 --> 00:07:59,827
I will not be able to
take in another breath.
208
00:08:01,068 --> 00:08:04,206
Don'’t you quit on me, val!
209
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:07,137
Oh, come on, it
was a little funny.
210
00:08:09,206 --> 00:08:11,586
There'’s got to be something
in here that could help val.
211
00:08:11,655 --> 00:08:14,931
Aha! Perfect.
212
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,206
Cupid.
213
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,413
"Love is beautiful,
love is alive.
214
00:08:24,482 --> 00:08:26,034
Send me cupid for just $5.95."
215
00:08:28,655 --> 00:08:29,551
You'’re cupid?
216
00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,344
You Don'’t look like cupid.
217
00:08:31,413 --> 00:08:33,000
Gee, never heard
that one before.
218
00:08:35,896 --> 00:08:39,103
I want you to make
him attracted to her.
219
00:08:39,172 --> 00:08:40,344
$5.95.
220
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:46,034
Let'’s see here...
221
00:08:49,103 --> 00:08:50,103
Hey!
222
00:08:50,137 --> 00:08:51,655
You just touched my butt.
223
00:08:51,724 --> 00:08:52,724
I didn'’t, I swear.
224
00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:54,724
Yes, you did... You
just touched my butt.
225
00:08:54,793 --> 00:08:56,320
If he'’s going to
fall in love with him,
226
00:08:56,344 --> 00:08:57,344
I want my money back.
227
00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:58,413
Wait.
228
00:08:58,448 --> 00:09:00,517
Just wait.
229
00:09:04,172 --> 00:09:06,172
Hi, what'’s your name?
230
00:09:09,137 --> 00:09:10,689
I...
231
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:13,034
I can'’t remember.
232
00:09:15,724 --> 00:09:17,517
You'’ll never guess
who just asked me out.
233
00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:18,379
Kirk!
234
00:09:18,448 --> 00:09:20,068
Should I still guess?
235
00:09:20,137 --> 00:09:21,620
I'’m so excited, I can'’t eat.
236
00:09:21,689 --> 00:09:22,758
I can'’t even sit down.
237
00:09:22,827 --> 00:09:24,137
I think i'’m going to throw up.
238
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:29,103
Hey. Oh.
239
00:09:29,172 --> 00:09:30,448
What'’s wrong?
240
00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:33,344
Coach was a little hard
on me in practice yesterday.
241
00:09:33,413 --> 00:09:35,586
He didn'’t like your
editorial very much.
242
00:09:35,655 --> 00:09:38,034
Oh, no, he found out
I was your girlfriend?
243
00:09:38,896 --> 00:09:40,206
And I bet I know how.
244
00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:45,241
Maybe I should just
write a retraction.
245
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,724
No, it would be wrong
246
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,700
for you to write something
you Don'’t believe in,
247
00:09:48,724 --> 00:09:52,413
no matter how it
affects my spine.
248
00:09:52,482 --> 00:09:55,965
Sabrina, here'’s your next
assignment for the paper.
249
00:09:56,034 --> 00:09:57,310
Mr. Kraft says
250
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,655
you'’re not allowed to
write editorials anymore.
251
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,862
I have to write an
article on lunch menus?
252
00:10:01,931 --> 00:10:06,241
No, you just have to
transcribe the menus.
253
00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:08,000
Can you handle that?
254
00:10:12,241 --> 00:10:13,344
[ Squeals]
255
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:16,275
Sabrina!
256
00:10:16,344 --> 00:10:18,517
I Don'’t even like pie!
257
00:10:18,586 --> 00:10:21,172
You filled Libby'’s locker
with pies, didn'’t you?
258
00:10:21,241 --> 00:10:22,758
Libby'’s locker?
259
00:10:22,827 --> 00:10:23,758
Pies? Me?
260
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,793
You, and I think this warrants
261
00:10:25,862 --> 00:10:28,068
a little time in detention.
262
00:10:28,137 --> 00:10:29,655
Oh, but that'’s not fair.
263
00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:32,310
And that would really
upset my aunt hilda,
264
00:10:32,379 --> 00:10:33,758
who likes you so very much.
265
00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:34,896
Really?
266
00:10:34,965 --> 00:10:37,413
Boy, I-I didn'’t get
that impression.
267
00:10:37,482 --> 00:10:39,103
Oh, she'’s just shy.
268
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,068
Doesn'’t get out much.
269
00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:42,551
Interesting, yeah.
270
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,965
You know, that business
about the detention,
271
00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:47,862
now, that does not
have to happen this year.
272
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:49,379
All right.
273
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:52,103
Thanks, Mr. Kraft.
274
00:10:52,172 --> 00:10:56,000
Still catnip to the ladies.
275
00:10:56,068 --> 00:10:59,034
Sabrina: Please?
276
00:10:59,103 --> 00:11:00,655
Eh. Please?
277
00:11:00,724 --> 00:11:02,931
Please go out with Mr. Kraft!
278
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,724
No, he'’s a goofball.
279
00:11:04,793 --> 00:11:06,241
Now, leave me alone.
280
00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:07,830
But he'’s nice to me
when you like him.
281
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:09,172
When have I ever liked him?
282
00:11:09,241 --> 00:11:11,000
Well, you did, kind of, today.
283
00:11:11,965 --> 00:11:13,010
But, to change the subject,
284
00:11:13,034 --> 00:11:14,689
I think he'’s
suspicious of my magic.
285
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:15,655
Then Don'’t do magic at school.
286
00:11:15,724 --> 00:11:17,034
Now, if you Don'’t mind,
287
00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:19,183
i'’m reading a very important
George Clooney article.
288
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:23,896
Please! Please!
289
00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:25,275
No!
290
00:11:25,344 --> 00:11:26,034
Please!
291
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,103
No!
292
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:28,965
Come on!
293
00:11:29,034 --> 00:11:30,034
No.
294
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:35,206
Please, please...
Please, please...
295
00:11:35,275 --> 00:11:36,379
Never!
296
00:11:37,344 --> 00:11:39,206
Okay, we'’ll talk
about it later.
297
00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:41,344
[Phone ringing]Phone.
298
00:11:45,586 --> 00:11:46,517
Hello.
299
00:11:46,586 --> 00:11:47,517
Oh, hi, uh, may I speak
300
00:11:47,586 --> 00:11:48,965
with hilda, please?
301
00:11:49,034 --> 00:11:49,965
One moment, please.
302
00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:51,241
Salem, what am I going to do?
303
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,862
It'’s Mr. Kraft
calling for aunt hilda.
304
00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:54,655
Start speaking in
Spanish and hang up.
305
00:11:54,724 --> 00:11:57,103
[ With hilda'’s voice]: Hello.
306
00:11:57,172 --> 00:11:58,689
Hi, hil-hilda.
307
00:11:58,758 --> 00:12:01,103
This is Willard... kraft.
308
00:12:01,172 --> 00:12:04,586
I was wondering if you'’d like to
have dinner on Saturday night?
309
00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:08,068
Why, i'’d love to... Willard.
310
00:12:08,137 --> 00:12:09,793
That was amazing.
311
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,103
Now do Nixon.
312
00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:15,872
Sabrina: Love is
beautiful, it'’s never corrupt.
313
00:12:15,896 --> 00:12:18,216
Send me the six-dollar cupid
unless the rates have gone up.
314
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:23,517
I chafe.
315
00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:24,931
Look, I need you to make my aunt
316
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,172
temporarily attracted
to my vice principal.
317
00:12:27,241 --> 00:12:28,000
No problem.
318
00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,000
First, of course
319
00:12:29,068 --> 00:12:30,379
i'’m going to need your aunt
320
00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:31,517
to sign a release form.
321
00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:33,146
But I didn'’t have
to do that last time.
322
00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:34,734
Well, that'’s '’cause we
were dealing with a minor;
323
00:12:34,758 --> 00:12:37,965
minors Don'’t sue...
Well, I should say rarely.
324
00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:39,079
But doesn'’t a
release form sort of
325
00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:40,724
eliminate the
element of surprise?
326
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,593
Yes, i'’m sorry, but
people never used to sue.
327
00:12:42,655 --> 00:12:44,517
Now the slightest
little thing and "boom"...
328
00:12:44,586 --> 00:12:45,793
I got the nice diaper on
329
00:12:45,862 --> 00:12:48,448
and i'’m standing
in front of a judge.
330
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,344
Sorry, then, I guess
I just can'’t do it.
331
00:12:50,413 --> 00:12:53,000
Well, if you change your
mind, here'’s my card.
332
00:12:53,068 --> 00:12:54,137
I also do catering.
333
00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:56,896
Salem, what am I going to do?
334
00:12:56,965 --> 00:12:58,172
I have to get aunt hilda
335
00:12:58,241 --> 00:12:59,586
out on that date tonight.
336
00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:01,137
I could go instead of hilda.
337
00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:03,896
You know me, any
excuse to wear taffeta.
338
00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:05,724
There'’s got to be
something in here.
339
00:13:05,793 --> 00:13:08,724
What'’s this? "How to make
your friend act like a dummy...
340
00:13:08,793 --> 00:13:09,724
Great for parties."
341
00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,172
Salem: Oh, I know that spell:
342
00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:12,586
"The Charlie McCarthy."
343
00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:14,655
They still have
their motor skills,
344
00:13:14,724 --> 00:13:16,206
but you have to talk for them.
345
00:13:16,275 --> 00:13:18,241
That'’s perfect, i'’ll
sneak along on the date
346
00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,413
and talk for aunt hilda.
347
00:13:19,482 --> 00:13:20,596
Will you distract aunt Zelda
348
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:21,872
while I put the
spell on aunt hilda?
349
00:13:21,896 --> 00:13:24,034
Hey, is a dog dumber
than a hammer?
350
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,034
[Chuckles]
351
00:13:25,103 --> 00:13:26,344
That'’s yes.
352
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:28,793
I'’ve been meaning
to talk to her anyway.
353
00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:30,206
What is it, Salem?
354
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:32,148
I Don'’t want to be late
for the witches'’ council.
355
00:13:32,172 --> 00:13:33,413
[ Clearsthroat]
356
00:13:33,482 --> 00:13:35,586
Now that you'’re on
the witches'’ council,
357
00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:38,931
I thought i'’d show you
a different side of Salem.
358
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,724
I can'’t get your
sentence reduced.
359
00:13:40,793 --> 00:13:43,931
No longer the world-
domination Salem of the past
360
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,793
but a more charitable Salem,
shirt-off-your-back Salem.
361
00:13:46,862 --> 00:13:47,793
[ Laughs]
362
00:13:47,862 --> 00:13:49,137
That'’s kind of his nickname
363
00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:50,448
down at the shelter.
364
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:56,103
Salem, how do you
know Mother Teresa?
365
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:58,000
Fund-raiser.
366
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:00,862
Bye, Sabrina.
367
00:14:00,931 --> 00:14:02,241
Wait, where are you going?
368
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:03,310
The gym.
369
00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:04,586
You can'’t.
370
00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:06,413
I mean, you Don'’t
need to go to the gym.
371
00:14:06,482 --> 00:14:07,482
With that body?
372
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:08,872
I Don'’t go to the
gym for my body.
373
00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:10,355
I go to flirt with
that cute juice boy.
374
00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:11,275
Wait.
375
00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:13,310
Aunt hilda!
376
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:14,586
What?
377
00:14:14,655 --> 00:14:16,551
It'’s so awful.
378
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:17,827
What'’s so awful?
379
00:14:17,896 --> 00:14:18,689
Um...
380
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,758
Being a teenager!
381
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:28,517
You and Albert schweitzer,
you and Desmond tutu...
382
00:14:28,586 --> 00:14:31,068
Salem, these are
obviously doctored photos.
383
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:33,344
It hurts me that you... would...
384
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:35,620
[ Faltering]: I
can'’t keep it up.
385
00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:37,310
I Don'’t know those guys.
386
00:14:37,379 --> 00:14:39,482
They wouldn'’t return my calls.
387
00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:40,896
[ Sobbing]
388
00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:44,551
I just Don'’t want
to be a cat anymore.
389
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:45,793
Oh, Don'’t cry.
390
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:47,413
Your fur will mat.
391
00:14:47,482 --> 00:14:50,000
[ Bursts out crying]
392
00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:53,172
Okay, i'’ll put in a good word
at the witches'’ council for you.
393
00:14:53,241 --> 00:14:54,172
[ Sobbing ceases]
394
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,620
You will?
395
00:14:55,689 --> 00:14:57,172
Sure.
396
00:14:57,931 --> 00:14:59,931
What'’s this?
397
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,862
You and shari Lewis?
398
00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:03,137
[ Clears throat]
399
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,655
That'’s actually from
my personal collection.
400
00:15:05,724 --> 00:15:07,448
There, there.
401
00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:10,068
[ Crying loudly]
402
00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:11,724
[ Knock on door]
403
00:15:14,241 --> 00:15:15,448
Be a dummy, be a fool.
404
00:15:15,517 --> 00:15:18,344
Switch off your brains,
but please Don'’t drool.
405
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:20,896
Let me give this a try.
406
00:15:20,965 --> 00:15:21,965
My name is hilda.
407
00:15:22,034 --> 00:15:23,310
Let me give this a try.
408
00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:24,379
My name is hilda.
409
00:15:24,413 --> 00:15:25,724
Cool. Cool.
410
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:26,793
[Doorbell rings]
411
00:15:33,931 --> 00:15:36,551
Oh! Hilda, you look
beautiful tonight.
412
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:38,862
Thanks, you look totally hot.
413
00:15:38,931 --> 00:15:40,931
Really? Thank you.
414
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:41,655
These are for you.
415
00:15:41,724 --> 00:15:43,172
Thanks! Let'’s go.
416
00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:44,241
Okay.
417
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:54,413
You were awfully
quiet in the car.
418
00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:57,448
Hmm?
419
00:15:59,206 --> 00:16:01,965
Hi! Whew! I mean,
what a great place.
420
00:16:02,034 --> 00:16:03,310
Yeah, it'’s my favorite.
421
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,724
There'’s a booth.
422
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:05,793
Cool.
423
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,827
What will it be?
424
00:16:13,896 --> 00:16:15,482
You have to order something.
425
00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:18,241
I'’ll have iced tea and
the cowboy special.
426
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,275
From Indiana, and my father...
427
00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:22,144
I'’ll have an iced tea
and the cowboy special.
428
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,103
Fine, the waitress
should be here shortly.
429
00:16:26,172 --> 00:16:27,527
The special...
That'’s a lot of meat,
430
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,068
and it comes with
four kinds of beans.
431
00:16:29,137 --> 00:16:30,655
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
i'’m real hungry.
432
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,517
My father was a bricklayer...
433
00:16:32,586 --> 00:16:33,665
Yeah, yeah, i'’m real hungry.
434
00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:35,965
Okay.
435
00:16:36,034 --> 00:16:37,551
Miss!
436
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:41,620
So I haven'’t spoken to my
ex-wife or my brother since.
437
00:16:41,689 --> 00:16:45,793
You know, this is my first
real date since the divorce.
438
00:16:45,862 --> 00:16:46,965
Although the, the free time
439
00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:48,931
has been good for me now.
440
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,379
Uh, i'’ve been able to
spend some real quality time
441
00:16:52,448 --> 00:16:53,827
with my grandma.
442
00:16:53,896 --> 00:16:56,241
I told you that
i'’m living with her,
443
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,482
didn'’t I?
444
00:16:57,551 --> 00:16:59,758
Yeah, you grossed
me out with that earlier.
445
00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:01,793
Willard: Well, enough about me.
446
00:17:01,862 --> 00:17:03,034
Tell me about yourself.
447
00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:05,034
Not much to tell...
I play the violin...
448
00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:07,206
I want you to stop
being mean to Sabrina.
449
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:09,551
I haven'’t been mean to Sabrina.
450
00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:11,482
[ No voice]
451
00:17:11,551 --> 00:17:13,310
Have so! You'’ve been
mean to Harvey, too.
452
00:17:13,379 --> 00:17:15,793
Now, I Don'’t know what
she'’s been telling you, but I...
453
00:17:15,862 --> 00:17:17,724
Just promise to quit it!
454
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:19,724
Well, I... promise.
455
00:17:20,551 --> 00:17:21,551
Whoo-hoo!
456
00:17:21,586 --> 00:17:24,310
You'’re kind of
pushy, aren'’t you?
457
00:17:24,379 --> 00:17:26,034
I think I like that.
458
00:17:27,137 --> 00:17:28,379
[ Gasps]
459
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,103
Sabrina, i'’m so
glad you'’re here!
460
00:17:30,172 --> 00:17:31,448
What are you doing here?
461
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,137
Look, you can tell me later.
462
00:17:33,206 --> 00:17:34,424
I'’m on my date
with kirk right now
463
00:17:34,448 --> 00:17:36,000
and I can'’t go through with it.
464
00:17:36,068 --> 00:17:37,068
You'’re here with kirk?
465
00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:39,793
I Don'’t know a kirk.
466
00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:42,000
I'’ve peaked! I was so
excited about my date
467
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:44,344
that I got ready too early...
About six hours too early.
468
00:17:44,413 --> 00:17:46,931
Now my hair and my
makeup... It'’s all going downhill.
469
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,103
You have not peaked.
470
00:17:49,172 --> 00:17:50,000
Really?
471
00:17:50,068 --> 00:17:51,827
You mean that?
472
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,931
Yeah, you look
totally beautiful.
473
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,827
Your hair looks great. And
that is a totally cool outfit.
474
00:17:56,896 --> 00:17:57,827
Really? You Don'’t think
475
00:17:57,896 --> 00:18:00,034
it makes me look
a little too hippie?
476
00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:01,379
Thanks, I needed that.
477
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,655
Oh, come here.
478
00:18:02,724 --> 00:18:04,172
What'’s on my face, an eyelash?
479
00:18:04,241 --> 00:18:04,931
Yeah, come here.
480
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,241
Oh, how'’s this?
481
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:08,241
No, closer.
482
00:18:08,310 --> 00:18:10,275
Ooh, you are feisty...
483
00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:11,793
And I like that.
484
00:18:12,931 --> 00:18:13,931
Make a wish.
485
00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:16,724
Okeydokey.
486
00:18:19,793 --> 00:18:21,448
[ Shrieks]
487
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,517
Too much garlic?
488
00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,137
[ Screams]
489
00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:26,931
Willard: Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh!
490
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,379
[ Both scream]
491
00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:30,827
I'’m sorry, i'’m so sorry.
492
00:18:30,896 --> 00:18:34,793
I'’m sorry, i'’m sorry...
I'’m sorry, i'’m sorry...
493
00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:36,000
Save your breath.
494
00:18:36,068 --> 00:18:37,620
Come on, young lady.
495
00:18:37,689 --> 00:18:39,689
You taking me to
the witches'’ council?
496
00:18:39,758 --> 00:18:41,010
No, i'’m taking you
to your aunt Zelda.
497
00:18:41,034 --> 00:18:43,758
She'’s much better
at punishing than me.
498
00:18:50,413 --> 00:18:51,448
Oh, Sabrina!
499
00:18:51,517 --> 00:18:53,965
How could you
put a spell on hilda?
500
00:18:54,034 --> 00:18:56,965
You know, I think, when you
threw away that juror letter,
501
00:18:57,034 --> 00:18:58,965
it did have a bad effect on me.
502
00:18:59,896 --> 00:19:00,896
I'’m sorry.
503
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,379
It was incredibly stupid.
504
00:19:02,448 --> 00:19:05,482
Hey, can my punishment be that
I had to eat two pounds of steak?
505
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:06,551
[ Bell rings]
506
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:07,976
Witches'’ council
resumes in ten minutes.
507
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,344
You know, putting a spell on
a guardian is very dangerous.
508
00:19:10,413 --> 00:19:12,379
It leaves us unable
to protect you.
509
00:19:12,448 --> 00:19:14,034
What if there was an emergency?
510
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:16,103
Why are you wearing
that awful dress?
511
00:19:16,172 --> 00:19:17,493
But you Don'’t understand...
It was the only way
512
00:19:17,517 --> 00:19:19,344
I could save Harvey
from Mr. Kraft.
513
00:19:19,413 --> 00:19:22,586
Oh, so you were doing
this to save Harvey. Right.
514
00:19:22,655 --> 00:19:24,724
Is that the only person
you were trying to save?
515
00:19:24,793 --> 00:19:25,620
Yes.
516
00:19:25,689 --> 00:19:27,034
So it was a totally
517
00:19:27,103 --> 00:19:28,310
selfless act.
518
00:19:28,379 --> 00:19:29,310
Okay.
519
00:19:29,379 --> 00:19:30,379
Let'’s see if you'’re
520
00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:31,413
telling the truth.
521
00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:35,482
Sabrina, if you'’re
telling the truth,
522
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:38,448
you'’ll be able to
stay inside the circle.
523
00:19:39,793 --> 00:19:41,034
Looking good.
524
00:19:41,103 --> 00:19:42,113
I'’m staying in the circle.
525
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,275
But that'’s not all;
526
00:19:43,344 --> 00:19:44,862
you have to stay
inside the circle
527
00:19:44,931 --> 00:19:47,379
while wrestling your conscience.
528
00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:52,068
That'’s my conscience?
529
00:19:52,137 --> 00:19:53,379
Apparently.
530
00:19:53,448 --> 00:19:55,896
[Grunting]
531
00:19:58,344 --> 00:20:00,965
Okay, I may have been
trying to save myself just a little.
532
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,137
Hey!
533
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:03,137
I confessed.
534
00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:05,655
Wait! I'’m out of the circle!
535
00:20:05,724 --> 00:20:08,793
Why can'’t my
conscience speak English?
536
00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:10,620
Sabrina: So, how'’d
your date go with kirk?
537
00:20:10,689 --> 00:20:12,206
Do I get to be maid of honor?
538
00:20:12,275 --> 00:20:13,596
Not yet. I mean,
kirk'’s really cute
539
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:14,965
and he'’s totally popular,
540
00:20:15,034 --> 00:20:17,448
which by association would
make me slightly more popular,
541
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,827
but he only talked
about engines.
542
00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:22,965
Could it be i'’m not
so shallow after all?
543
00:20:23,034 --> 00:20:24,620
Let'’s hope it'’s just a phase.
544
00:20:24,689 --> 00:20:25,689
Let'’s.
545
00:20:27,931 --> 00:20:29,931
There is something
very, very strange
546
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,758
about you and
your entire family,
547
00:20:31,827 --> 00:20:33,758
and i'’m going to
keep my eye on you.
548
00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:35,931
Sabrina.
549
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:36,931
Want to go to the slicery
550
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:37,931
after school today?
551
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,241
I'’d love to... But I can'’t.
552
00:20:41,310 --> 00:20:42,586
I'’m grounded.
553
00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:43,724
Don'’t move.
554
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:46,275
I got a perfect
shot at an oriole.
555
00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:48,689
I hope you'’ve
learned your lesson.
556
00:20:48,758 --> 00:20:49,758
If I say I have,
557
00:20:49,793 --> 00:20:51,068
will you dig me up?
558
00:20:51,137 --> 00:20:52,344
Oop, it'’s raining.
559
00:20:52,413 --> 00:20:53,931
We should go in.
560
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,689
Salem: I am out of here.
561
00:20:55,758 --> 00:20:57,068
What about me?
562
00:20:58,931 --> 00:21:01,103
Thanks... exactly what I need.
563
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,000
A lighting rod.
564
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,827
I'’m sorry, you can'’t
pay me in anchovies.
565
00:21:08,896 --> 00:21:10,275
And you won'’t take a check.
566
00:21:10,344 --> 00:21:12,206
Look, I have to
be honest with you.
567
00:21:12,275 --> 00:21:13,355
It-it-it'’s more than that.
568
00:21:13,413 --> 00:21:14,931
It'’s against my principles.
569
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,379
Is it because i'’m a cat?
And she'’s a woman?
570
00:21:17,448 --> 00:21:20,206
No, it'’s because you'’re a
cat and she'’s shari Lewis.
571
00:21:20,275 --> 00:21:21,896
I can make her so happy.
572
00:21:21,965 --> 00:21:25,275
Besides, she'’s got to be
tired of that whiny lamb.
573
00:21:25,344 --> 00:21:27,586
It'’s not even a
lamb; It'’s a sock.
574
00:21:27,655 --> 00:21:30,068
You sicken me!
575
00:21:30,137 --> 00:21:31,344
Get a real job...
576
00:21:32,482 --> 00:21:34,655
and some pants.
39788
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