All language subtitles for s b t b s02e07 1080p web h264-ggez (1)_track3_[eng]

- I hereby call this emergency
Spirit meeting to order.

Thank you all for coming in
on a Wednesday.

- You know there's school
every Wednesday, right?

- On Hump Day?

We're officially a month away

from the School Spirit
Competition,

and we still need 6,000 hours

to even qualify
for the final tournament.

So I need all hands on deck.

Clear your schedules.

Except for you, Dana.
We're still going out tonight.

But everybody else,
'cause from now on,

we're volunteering
our asses off.

[cheers and applause]
- I love you, Mac.

- You're so hot!

[upbeat music]

- I'm sorry you lost
your home in that fire.

Don't worry,
in just three days,

this will be a house.

[marker squeaking]

* *

- Hey, Mac.
Do you need to take a break?

- No, we need more hours,
and if I pass out,

mouth-to-mouth counts
as another kiss.

Next!

* *

all: Move that bus!

[cheers and applause]

- How did you do this?

- Oh, me and the other kids

just kind of stood around
drinking soda.

Ty Pennington did
most of the work.

- Is he okay?
- Uh, who cares?

What do you think
of this flattened dirt mound

that I made?

[applause]

15,000 hours
of service complete,

which means Bayside is
in the Spirit Competition.

[cheers and applause]

Suck on that, Dad!

I mean,
benefit from that, community!

- I got to say, I didn't think
you could pull this off.

- Oh, I'm not done.
Now I got to figure to out

how we're actually gonna
win this whole thing.

What?

- No, nothing.
I'm just really impressed.

I never thought I'd see

Mac Morris work so hard
or do so much good.

- Hey, what are you doing,
idiot?

Didn't you hear me?

We already got
all of our hours.

These cans are for us now.

[quirky music]

* *

Oh, is that fish milk?
It's freaking delicious.

[laughs]

Mmm!

[school bell rings]

- * When I wake up
in the mornin' *

* Alarm gives out a warnin' *

* I don't think
I'll ever make it on time *

[school bell ringing]

* By the time
I grab my books *

* And I give myself a look *

* I'm at the corner
just in time *

* It's all right,
it's all right *

* Saved by the bell,
it's all right *

* It's all right,
saved by the bell *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved
by the bell *

[school bell ringing]

- Any last words, Fingerson?

- * Lady Luck *

* My time is up *

both: Snake eyes!

[cheers and applause]

- You know, Nadia,
they call it snake eyes

because when the dice lie
next to each other like that,

it's long, like a snake's body.

- Lexi is really good.

I don't mean to be braggy,

especially 'cause last year
I won Most Braggy,

but I feel like you and I
are kind of dating

the most talented kids
in school.

- Ooh, indeed you are.

In fact, Lexi and Devante
both scored a 9.8

on the Spirit Czar
talent scale.

- What are you talking about?

- I've been observing
the student body--

sorry, I've been observing
the student's bodies,

and using a special algorithm,
I've determined which Baysider

is best suited to compete
in which Spirit events.

For example, Devante, singing,

Lexi, dramatic monologue,
Nadia, dressage.

- Hey, why does it say
"Jamie, nothing"?

- Oh, how do I put
this delicately?

The algorithm said that you
have no talents or abilities.

- What?
- It's not a big deal, bro.

A lot of people
with no talents go on

to have tremendous success.

I mean, look at our
former president,

Franklin Pierce.

- I will have you know

I am very good
at a lot of things.

Watch this. Ready?

Guess a number
between one and a million.

- Six.
- Damn it! I had five.

[both grunting]

- I almost had you that time.
- Yeah, yeah.

You really are improving.
- Thanks, The Fish.

- Aisha, can I see you
in my office please?

[whistle blows]

[tense music]

- Aisha.

Slater and I have
an academic matter

we need to discuss with you.

- Oh. Thank God.

I thought you were gonna
kick me off the wrestling team,

but it's just school.

Who cares?
- Right.

That's the exact mindset
we need to talk to you about.

- Listen, when you were
the star quarterback

of the football team,
teachers were willing

to let certain
academic stuff slide.

It's one of the coolest perks
of being a jock--

was one of the coolest perks.

- It's come to my attention
that you're currently meeting

your language requirement

with an elective
called Nintendo Studies.

- It's kind of like
taking Japanese.

And when I'm playing
"Mario Kart"...Italian?

- Aisha, you're abusing
the system, and you know it.

- It says here the course
was approved by Coach Slater.

- Maybe it's a good class.

Aisha, say something
in Italian.

- "I'm Wario."
- Ey!

- Okay, you need to take
a real language class.

- And there's no chance
I could just spend

an hour a day
listening to music,

the universal language?

- Mm.
- Yeah.

- Mm.

- Fine.
I'll take Spanish.

- Gracias.

- Do you ever wonder what
other restaurants are like?

- No.

Hey, what do you think
I'm the best at?

- Mm, lots of things.

Kissing, being tall,
holding my earrings

so I could fight
Chuck E. Cheese that one time.

- But those aren't, like,

skills you can use
in a Spirit Competition.

- Okay, you really want to know
what you're the best at?

You are the best boyfriend,

and before that,
you are an amazing friend.

- I guess that's something.

- Daisy, I'm sorry.
The algorithm doesn't lie.

You have to do the limbo
in the Spirit Competition.

- But I don't want to.

The limbo was
a Trinidadian funeral dance

that was
culturally appropriated

by cruise ship DJs.

- If white people could only do

the dances that we made up,

we'd have the hokeypokey,
end of list.

Listen,
I didn't want to say this

because I know it's gonna
go to your head,

but you have
incredibly strong ankles.

I've been trying
to knock you down all day.

- No, you haven't.
- Yes.

I was the gardener that tried
to trip you with the hose.

I was the janitor
that spilled his bucket.

I was even
Trip "The Pusher" McStumbles,

the WWE wrestler that came
to speak to your class

about drugs this morning.

- Oh, that explains
why his message was,

"Drugs are fun.
Does anyone have some?"

- Can you guys please tell
Daisy to stop being weird

and just do the limbo?

- Wait, wait, wait.
Maybe I can do it.

- No, you would be
horrible at the limbo.

You're too tall
and you're accident-prone.

I've seen you sneeze in
your own mouth

and choke on it.

- Well, at least let me try.

I want a chance to prove
I have a talent.

- Mac, just let him do it.

- Very well, Jamie.

You may challenge Daisy
to a limbo battle.

The victor shall
represent Bayside

in the Spirit Competition.

That is my decree.

- Yay!

- Hey, Aisha.

- Oh, hey.
- Are you a sports girl?

Or are you
wearing that ironically?

That's how
this fanny pack started.

Now I can't live without it.

Could I interest you
in a Jolly Rancher

or some tape?

- I actually was on
the football team last year,

but not anymore.

- What happened,
did they cut you

because you asked to see
the science on concussions?

- I was
the starting quarterback,

and it was one of the greatest
accomplishments of my life

before they canceled
the season.

- Oh, sorry, I don't know
what I'm talking about.

The only sports thing
I've ever seen is "Air Bud."

- Well, "Air Bud" was produced
by Harvey Weinstein.

- All right. Cool.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool, cool.

Awesome.

* *

- [with Castilian accent]
Okay, clase.

Ah, a new student.
Bienvenidos.

[with American accent]
I'm Mr. Johnson,

but you can call me--

[with Castilian accent]
Señor Juanson.

Buenos días, clase.

- Buenos días, Señor Juanson.

- Okay, Aisha,

it is time for you to pick
your new name en Español.

That's Carlos, Ernesto,

and next to you
of course is Margarita.

- I'm Dominican,
and I'm good with Aisha.

- Of course no.
How about...Juanita?

Now, it's time for--
- Hey, I hate him.

- The daily oral quiz.

Javier, pick your partner,
por favor.

- Um, Juanita?

- Excellent.

The subject es música.

- [speaking Spanish]

- Tengo muchas
canciónes favorita--

- [emphasizing accent]
Muchas canciónes

favoritas.

- Okay.

Mi canción favorita debe ser--
- Ah, ah, ah.

Debiera "ther."

- Debiera ther "thank u, next"

de Ariana Grande.

- That part was correct.

Ariana Grande e mi chica--

- "Eth" mi chica favorita.
You're missing a verb.

- But that's not
how we say it at home.

- Ah, we're not at home.

We're at la escuela.

Okay, Javier, you receive un A.

Juanita, you get a C.

- Where does a white man
with a license plate

on his smart car that says
"I love tapas" get off

telling me how to speak
my own language?

- I know, but at least
you missed the week

where he dressed up
as a bullfighter.

- Like, why am I even doing
this homework?

He's just gonna tell me
that it's wrong.

It isn't fair.

- Look, you're right.

This class should be an easy A
for kids like us,

but it wasn't designed for us.

It was designed to teach
Spain Spanish

to rich white kids

to improve their chances
of hooking up

when they study abroad.

But that doesn't mean that
you have to accept a C minus.

This class can be easy
if you just do it his way.

- Since when do you take
the easy way out?

- Ever since I started getting
an A pluth pluth.

[cheers and applause]

[feedback whines]

- In this corner,
weighing in at 6'2",

he seems to have filled out
the form wrong, Jamie Spano.

[cheers and applause]

And in this corner,
weighing undisclosed,

is the Ankles that Stankles,
AKA the Big D!

- You should have run these
by me--

- Daisy Jiménez!

Round one, begin.

[limbo music]

* *

- Oh, no, my ankles.

crowd: Ooh...

- It's fine.
I don't care about this at all.

- Are you sure
you want to do this?

That bar is really low.

- I'll see you
on the other side, baby.

crowd: [chanting]
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie!

- He's doing it!
He's the best at something.

[cheers and applause]
- Yes!

- Wow!
- I proved I'm the best!

I'm the best!

Yes!

- My algorithm must have
been wrong.

Congratulations, man.

The prize is that
the "Paw Patrol" gang is real,

and they want you to go
visit them at Adventure Bay.

- What? Wait.

This is too good to be true.

[dreamy pop music]

No, no. Come on!
Not the fantasy border.

Come on!
I want this to be real!

[grunts]

What happened?
Did I limbo good?

- You totally beefed it.

You said "Watch this, jerks,"

and then immediately slipped
and concussed yourself.

- Oh, no,
that's so embarrassing.

- Then you got up and said,
"Classic mistake.

I get a redo,"

and then you fell even harder,
it broke the floor,

and while you were unconscious,
you farted for a full minute.

- We timed it.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Oh, well.

As for you,
my little limbo queen,

I'll see you Saturday
at 5:00am for training.

It's in Palm Springs,
there's no meal stipend--

- Mm-mm.
- And the stick is on fire.

What?

Get back here, limbo queen.
Come here.

- Lexi, this sucks.

I used to think
I was amazing at everything.

Football, doing that four leaf
clover thing with my tongue.

Am I doing it?

- No, babe. It's just flat.

- And even if I was
living a lie,

that was still
better than this.

I hate that I'm not good
at anything.

- Okay, well, maybe you just
haven't figured it out yet.

You know, Helen Mirren was
in her 60s

before people even noticed
her big old honkers.

I know you'll find your thing.

- Yeah.

- [strong Castilian accent]
Vosotros, ustedes, vo--

- Hey, Aisha,
cool Mike Tyson impression.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Why'd I find this
in the donation bin?

I was donating something.

I wasn't looking
for a cool outfit

for bowling night
with the boys.

- I threw it out
'cause I don't need it anymore.

- But you worked
so hard for it.

- Yeah, I did.

But look where it got me.

It's not just about football.

Last year,
I came into this school

knowing exactly who I was,

and now I have no idea.

- Nobody knows who they are
in high school.

Hey, kid, you know who you are?

- Why, certainly.

My name is
Philip Tyberius Gorpleman,

I'm a proud dyslexic,
a total flirt,

and one day I'm gonna grow up
to be an ecoterrorist.

- All right, buddy, scram.

- Last year, I was captain
of the football team,

had a popular boyfriend,
and everything made sense.

Now it's all gone,
and the one thing

that I thought that no one
could ever take away from me,

the fact that I'm Latina,

is being challenged
by a cosplaying conquistador.

- Hey, look, I'm not exactly
an authority on this.

I mean,

I didn't even learn Spanish
until "The College Years."

- You mean
when you were in college?

- Yeah. "The College Years."

And these are
the High School Years.

That's how everyone says it.
- No.

- Anyway, growing up,
we never talked

about the fact
that we're Mexican.

My dad changed our name
from Sanchez to Slater

and made my middle name
America Rules.

I really wish I had some advice
for you, but honestly,

sometimes I still don't feel
like I'm Mexican enough.

- But you are Mexican,
and I'm Dominican,

and there are,
like, 20 countries

that speak Spanish,

and they're all
just lumped together

and told that
they're the same thing,

but we're not,

and no one gets to tell us

that there's only one way
to speak Spanish.

Thanks, Coach.

[soft music]

- You did it again, Slater,
you old dog.

Middle-aged dog. You look good.

- Hey, I thought we were
supposed to have lunch.

What happened?
- Oh, my God, I forgot.

Mac made me do
this stupid limbo contest.

- Oh, that's okay.
- No, it's not okay.

I'm sick of Mac roping me
into his insane schemes.

Like, one time, he made me
lie in a box filled with worms

to audition for a reality show,

and when I asked him which one,
he said, "I don't remember."

And when I looked
at the footage,

he was filming a bird
the whole time.

- Well, have you ever
considered saying no?

- I do.

But sometimes, it's just easier

to go along with whatever
stupid thing he's doing.

- Easier?

You're the girl who rolled up
the front steps every morning

until the school built
a wheelchair ramp.

Since when do you take
the easy way out?

- Never.

[determined music]

* *

Aisha. Hey, wait up.

- Listen, I'm on my way

to burn this Spanish class
to the ground.

Don't try to stop me--
- I won't.

I was so focused
on acing the class

that I ignored the fact
that the class was failing us.

- It's about time, Margarita.
- Oh, Margarita is dead.

- [gasps]
That's awful.

Do you need someone
to perform a song at her fune?

I knew her pretty well.
both: No.

- Okay, here's the plan:
when the class starts--

- Hey, Aisha,

I feel like I caught you
at a bad time earlier.

Are you busy right now?

- We're just trying
to figure out

how to decolonize
our Spanish class

'cause our teacher made me
question my cultural identity.

- Oh. That's cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

- All right, let's go.

- Buenos días, clase.

all: Buenos días,
Señor Juanson.

- It's time
for the quiz of the day.

Who would like to go first?

Señorita Juanita.
Choose your partner.

- My name is Aisha,
and I choose you.

class: Ooh!

- Oh, thit.

- Okay, empezamos.
The subject is...

[speaking Spanish]

- [speaking Spanish]

- Ah, ah, ah, that is not
how you say that. It's--

- I'll take whatever grade
you give me.

Let's just keep going.

- Suit yourself.

That is purse.

- Uh...

[students gasp]

[students gasp]
- Por qué? Por qué?

- What did I say?

- Well, I'm Dominican,
and in my dialect,

you just called me
the sluttiest of sluts.

[class gasps]

- Principal's office, now!

[tense music]

* *

- Hey, buddy, wanna skip class
and go to the batting cages?

I can sling 90-mile-an-hour
fastballs at you

and you can limbo under 'em.
- Mac, no.

I told you, I'm not doing
the limbo, and I meant it.

- What are you even
talking about?

- I'm not letting you talk me
into crazy schemes anymore.

- Daisy, where is this
even coming from?

Did someone hypnotize you?

You know, it's very dangerous
to be double hypnotized.

- Mac, move.

- Fine, I'll just--
I'll just be here.

- Weird interaction, Mac.

- You know what?
It's my lunch break,

and if I want to run
a metal detector

all over the football field
during it,

then that's my choice.

- Principal Toddman,

this student was very
disrespectful to me in class.

- Yeah, because this teacher
keeps telling me

that I don't know
how to speak my own language.

- I'm trying to help you
unlearn bad habits

and speak
the language properly.

- Hey, Aisha's culture
is not a bad habit.

A bad habit
is telling everybody

your email password,
Sports123.

Damn it!
- All right, look.

Everybody, let's just
take a breath, okay?

I am sure that Aisha did not
mean to be disrespectful.

And, Mr. Johnson, I am sure

that you were just trying
to teach the curriculum.

- Exactly, I'm an educator
working out of a textbook

from McGraw Hill.

Ever heard of 'em?
- [groans]

- And I'm not gonna
grade on a curve

just because you grew up
speaking street Spanish.

- Oh, easy! Come on.
- Oh, whoa! Hello, danger word.

- This is exactly
why this class

makes kids like me feel bad.

- This is a school,
not an Italian soccer game.

We don't tolerate racism.

- Oh, I can't be racist.
I'm gay.

- You're also fired.

Please collect your generous
severance package and get out.

- Lárgate, cabrón.
- I'm gonna look that up.

- Aisha, I am so sorry.

I promise you, I will find you
a replacement

who can teach you Spanish

without disrespecting
your culture.

- You know, I could
help fill in.

Until you find someone.

- Really? You think?
- Mm-hmm.

- Well, let's give it a try.

[whispering] I'm not gonna
pay you anything extra.

- Felicidades, Señor Sanchez.
- Gracias, señorita.

- Hey, babe, guess what.

I finally found something
I'm the best at.

- Oh!
- Competitive eating.

- Okay. Here you go.

- Thanks. Ready?

Time me.
- Oh, I--

- I'm full.
- What?

- I'm already full. Damn it!

- But Jamie--
[sighs]

He thinks
he isn't good at anything,

but it's just not true.

- I know one thing
he isn't good at.

Tipping.

- Okay, Daisy's lost it.
- Oh, no.

Did you not
hypnotize her correctly?

Or has she been
hypnotized twice?

Mac, that could kill her!

- No, she won't do the limbo.
What do I do?

- Maybe don't force her to do
the limbo against her will?

- Or make the door
to the library

progressively lower each day

until she develops
backward-leaning scoliosis.

- Okay, those are both
equally bad ideas.

Where's Jamie?

I need to tell him my problems

while he puts Go-Gurt
in my mouth.

- Yeah, he's the best at that.
He makes everything better.

That's it!

The problem is, Jamie doesn't
know what it's like

to have himself as a friend.

Jamie needs to talk to Jamie.

[chuckles]

- Ooh, could I get
100 hamburgers

without ketchup?

- No.
- Why?

- Damn it. You know what?
This isn't even my locker.

- [with deep voice]
Hey.

You look like
you could use a friend.

- Lexi?

- There's only one person
I know

who's emotionally sensitive
enough to cheer up Jamie.

And it's Jamie.

Look, when I said you're
the best at being a friend,

I really meant it.

And yeah,
maybe it won't win you points

in a Spirit Competition,
but who cares?

It makes everyone around you
feel so special.

And here's a power bar
because Jamie would know

that you forgot to eat lunch.

- Thank you.

Oh, man, I am deeply allergic
to this kind of power bar.

- Oh.
- Thank you.

[upbeat music]

* *

- Hey, Chloe.
- Hey.

I'm just on my way
to some burlesque memorial

Spencer's putting on
for his best friend, Margarita.

- Sorry I was busy today,
but I did want to talk to you.

What's up?

- Oh, nothing's actually up.

That was just my lame attempt
to flirt with you.

- Oh. Okay.
[laughs nervously]

Cool, cool, cool. Cool.
[laughs]

- Oh, you left
your locker open.

- Damn, I'm still hungry.

- Hey, Lexi said
you needed a Jamie.

- Oh, my God, yes.

Daisy's been acting
like a complete lunatic.

I'd have her committed,

but her social security card
is in my other jeans.

- Seems like you're taking this
pretty hard, huh?

- You would be too if the most
annoying girl in school

didn't want to spend
every weekend with you

doing the limbo.

- Okay.
Let me ask you a question.

- Mm-hmm.

- Why is it so important
that Daisy compete

in the limbo contest?

- 'Cause she's the best
at limbo.

- Is it that?

Or is it also because you want
to spend time with her?

- Ew, what?

Like, Backpack Daisy
from school?

- Yeah.
- She's basically

the only Daisy I'm not into.

Daisy Ridley, Daisy Duck,

any girl that wears
Daisy Dukes,

except Daisy from school.

- Okay, maybe I'm wrong.
- Dead wrong.

I'm just annoyed because
Daisy's just been acting weird.

She's changed.

- Has she, though?

Because the only thing
that's really changed

is, now she's dating Gil.

- Oh, my God. You're right.

How could I
not have seen that before?

- Right?

- Gil is the problem.

- No.
- I need to destroy Gil.

- I didn't say that.

- Devante, could I just see
the dessert menu?