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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,370 (school bell rings) 2 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,530 ♪ When I wake up in the morning ♪ 3 00:00:04,530 --> 00:00:05,900 ♪ And the alarm gives out a warning ♪ 4 00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:08,870 ♪ I don't think I'll ever make it on time ♪ 5 00:00:08,870 --> 00:00:10,410 ♪ By the time I grab my books ♪ 6 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,970 ♪ And I give myself a look ♪ 7 00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:15,410 ♪ I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ♪ 8 00:00:15,410 --> 00:00:20,420 ♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 9 00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:22,680 ♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪ 10 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,150 ♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪ 11 00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:27,120 ♪ And my dog ate all my homework last night ♪ 12 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,760 ♪ Ridin' low on my chair ♪ 13 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,430 ♪ She won't know that I'm there ♪ 14 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,660 ♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ♪ 15 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:38,630 ♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 16 00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:41,100 (rock music) 17 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:55,180 ♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the ♪ 18 00:00:55,190 --> 00:00:58,220 ♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the ♪ 19 00:00:58,220 --> 00:01:03,060 ♪ It's all right 'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪ 20 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,370 (wedding march music) 21 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,880 (audience laughing) 22 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,750 - This is the greatest day of my school life. 23 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:29,250 As part of the social science project, 24 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,690 I'm marrying Kelly. 25 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,150 It's the first assignment where I can't 26 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,060 wait to tackle the homework. 27 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:37,130 (audience laughing) 28 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,630 Mr. Belding, what are you doing here? 29 00:01:41,630 --> 00:01:42,600 - I'm here to marry you. 30 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:43,970 - Well, you're not my type. 31 00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,500 (audience laughing) 32 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,140 - Button it, Zack, or you'll be honeymooning in detention. 33 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:47,940 - Buttoned, sir. 34 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,610 - Class, your regular teacher, Miss Laurette, 35 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,870 eloped last night with the shop teacher. 36 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,380 So I'm taking her place. 37 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,640 Let's get started. 38 00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:57,110 - Why do I have to marry Screech? 39 00:01:57,110 --> 00:02:00,180 - Yeah, and why did Preppie wind up with my Kelly? 40 00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,680 - Your Kelly? 41 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,350 May I remind you, Slater, that no woman is your possession. 42 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,550 - She's right. 43 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,490 Kelly's mine. 44 00:02:07,490 --> 00:02:10,490 - Miss Turtle, all the couples were matched alphabetically. 45 00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:12,490 - Well, I'm changing my name to Zigowitz. 46 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,500 (audience laughing) 47 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,130 - Couples, your grade will be determined 48 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,900 by how well you communicate and handle 49 00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:19,400 life's little differences. 50 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:24,040 Now, do you boys take these girls to be your school wives? 51 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,070 - Ah, you bet! 52 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,010 - I guess. 53 00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:27,840 - Wahoo! 54 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,380 (audience laughing) 55 00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,580 - That's what Mrs. Belding said when we got married. 56 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,310 Girls? 57 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,380 - I do. - I do. 58 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:35,220 - I don't! 59 00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:36,150 (audience laughing) 60 00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,150 - Lisa, it's only five days. 61 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,620 - Wahoo. 62 00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:42,260 - I now pronounce you school husbands and wives. 63 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:45,060 Our experiment will conclude Friday night at the Max. 64 00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:47,360 Hope you're still speaking to each other by then. 65 00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,200 - I think pretend marriage is a great way 66 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,670 to learn about life. 67 00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:54,200 - I think a pretend honeymoon would be better. 68 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,470 - I'll pretend you didn't say that. 69 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,540 - What's wrong with it, Mrs. Slater? 70 00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,040 - Mrs. Slater? 71 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,380 If I really married you, I wouldn't use your last name. 72 00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:05,080 - Whose last name would you use? 73 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,180 - Mine. 74 00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,680 - Huh, this chick's crazy. 75 00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:10,750 I'd bet you want me to have the kids, too? 76 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,220 (audience laughing) 77 00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,660 - If you think you have the stomach for it. 78 00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:16,120 - Very funny. 79 00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,630 - But I would expect you to stay home and take care of them. 80 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:19,560 - Well, lots of men take care of the kids 81 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,060 when the wife works. 82 00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:22,230 - The wife works. 83 00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:23,830 Yeah, I like that concept. 84 00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:26,070 I stay home and watch Young and the Restless. 85 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,870 - You sound like The Blond and the Useless. 86 00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:30,870 - Good one, darling. 87 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:33,070 - Well, I think humor is very important 88 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,680 in keeping a marriage together. 89 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,610 - Oh yeah. 90 00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:37,280 Other things are important, too. 91 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,210 - Really, Slater? 92 00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:39,410 - Well, sure. 93 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,920 Trust, understanding and great legs. 94 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,420 - [Zack] Yeah. 95 00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:44,420 - You macho pig. 96 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:45,590 - Oink, oink, baby. 97 00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:48,660 (audience laughing) 98 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,060 - Zack, what do you think is the most 99 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:52,090 important thing about a marriage? 100 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,060 - That's easy, kissing. 101 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,330 - That's terrible! 102 00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:56,860 - Not the way I do it, Peach Cake. 103 00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,100 (audience laughing) 104 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:03,300 - Lisa, a wedding surprise for you. 105 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,170 - Wow, is this from you, Max? 106 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,340 (audience laughing) 107 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,680 (instrumental pop music) 108 00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:18,720 (hand knocking) 109 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:19,550 Come in. 110 00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:31,230 Screech, what are you doing here? 111 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,470 - Don't talk. 112 00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:33,870 Let's go where the music takes us. 113 00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:37,310 - It's gonna take you right out the door. 114 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,340 What's with the suitcase? 115 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,710 - Now that we're married, I'm moving in. 116 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,680 - We are not married. 117 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,210 Take a reality pill. 118 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,320 - You know you're beautiful when you're angry. 119 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,150 (audience laughing) 120 00:04:50,150 --> 00:04:51,590 - Look what you're doing to me! 121 00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,620 - Yeah, you do strange things to me, too. 122 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,330 Where do you want my white mice? 123 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,330 - Inside of a white cat. 124 00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:00,960 Now will you please leave? 125 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:01,900 - Don't fight it. 126 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,300 Tell me how you really feel. 127 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,130 - Out! 128 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,840 - I forgot to kiss you goodbye. 129 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,210 (Lisa groans) 130 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,780 (audience laughing) 131 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,880 - Dear Lord, thanks for everything you've 132 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,710 given me today, except of course, for Screech. 133 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,820 (audience laughing) 134 00:05:30,590 --> 00:05:32,660 (dreamy music) 135 00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:35,330 (alarm ringing) 136 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,900 (audience laughing) 137 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:41,200 - Time to get up, darling. 138 00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:49,440 The morning sunrise is no match for you. 139 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,180 Let's work out. 140 00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:56,280 (audience laughing) 141 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,290 - Help, someone save me! 142 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,490 - Hold me, honey, I'll protect you. 143 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,600 (audience laughing) 144 00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:17,740 (gentle music) 145 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:23,440 - All right, everyone. 146 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,850 Now today, we've turned the classroom 147 00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:26,380 into a newlywed's apartment. 148 00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,480 Our first couple is Mr. and Mrs. Slater. 149 00:06:28,490 --> 00:06:30,220 - Spano-Slater please. 150 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,220 - How modern. 151 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,220 (audience laughing) 152 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,020 Here's your situation. 153 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,890 You both work and arrive home at dinnertime. 154 00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:39,060 And you're hungry, okay? 155 00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:39,890 Places. 156 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,060 - Let's watch, darling. 157 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,770 It can only help us grow together. 158 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,800 - Okay. 159 00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:50,240 - I'm home. 160 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,170 - Great, I'm starved. 161 00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:53,110 - Oh, me too. 162 00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:54,740 What are you fixing for dinner? 163 00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,480 - (scoffs) Nothing. 164 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,310 I'm a guy. 165 00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,750 - Slater! 166 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,480 - Well, why don't you just call me what you usually call me? 167 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,080 - Oh, what's that? 168 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,120 - Tiger Man. 169 00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:09,390 - Look, Slater, since we both work, 170 00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,360 we should share the household chores. 171 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,190 - Fine. 172 00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,560 You cook, I'll eat. 173 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,400 - [Boys In Class] Yeah! 174 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,260 - Haven't you ever heard of the Women's Movement? 175 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,800 - Well, sure. 176 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,700 Put on something cute and move it into the kitchen. 177 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,170 (audience laughing) 178 00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:25,010 - Mr. Belding, he doesn't want a wife, he wants a maid! 179 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,810 - Would he settle for a mother-in-law? 180 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,450 Okay, then that's a problem you two will have to work out. 181 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,280 - Thanks. 182 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,110 - Sure. 183 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,250 Now, our next couple is the Morris-Kapowskis. 184 00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,420 - I'm an old-fashioned girl. 185 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:39,450 Mrs. Morris will be fine. 186 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:43,160 - Huh, Kelly Morris, wow. 187 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,630 I've died and gone to heaven. 188 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,230 - Now, here is their situation. 189 00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:52,070 A tearful Kelly has wrecked Zack's car. 190 00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:53,230 - [Class] Ooh! 191 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,200 - [Richard] Okay. 192 00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,070 - Zack, I've done something terrible. 193 00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:58,970 - Who cares? 194 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:00,370 Kiss me. 195 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:03,480 - Zack, affection does not solve all problems. 196 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,650 - Solves mine. 197 00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,050 - Well, try again. 198 00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:14,990 - Zack, I totaled your new Ferrari. 199 00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:16,590 I don't know what to say. 200 00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,260 - Oh, you poor, poor thing. 201 00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:22,030 (audience laughing) 202 00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:24,130 You're too upset to talk right now. 203 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:27,230 - Very good, Zack. 204 00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:30,040 - Let's kiss until you calm down. 205 00:08:30,870 --> 00:08:31,810 - Heel, Zack. 206 00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,270 I think you should calm down. 207 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,780 Now, for our third couple. 208 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,750 Is it the Turtle-Powers? 209 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:39,580 - It's the Turtles. 210 00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:40,980 I'm taking her name. 211 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,080 (audience laughing) 212 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:46,820 - Okay, Screech has just lost his job 213 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:48,620 and comes home looking for comfort. 214 00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:51,730 Lisa? 215 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,130 Okay. 216 00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,270 - Oh, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. 217 00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:04,810 - Uh, Lisa no en casa. 218 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:07,910 (audience laughing) 219 00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:13,080 - I love it when you speak German. 220 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,350 - What do you want? 221 00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:20,050 - I was fired today. 222 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:20,860 - So? 223 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,990 - I don't think I have the strength to go on living. 224 00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:25,830 - Okay. 225 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:30,230 - Lisa, your husband needs more support. 226 00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,430 - Hold me. 227 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,370 As long as I have you, I have the strength to go on. 228 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,180 (Lisa sneezing) 229 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,580 - Is something wrong, Lisa? 230 00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,480 - Mr. Belding, I cannot go on with this. 231 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,010 I'm allergic to Screech. 232 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:49,450 - Darling, I won't leave you while you're ill. 233 00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:50,990 Let me take care of you. 234 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:51,820 (Lisa wheezes) 235 00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:52,790 - Whoa. 236 00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:55,120 I think you are allergic to him. 237 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,460 I have no choice but to annul this marriage. 238 00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:58,290 - Annul? 239 00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:02,530 Does this mean that Lisa and I aren't married anymore? 240 00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:03,600 - Afraid so, Screech. 241 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,400 (Screech sobbing) 242 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,740 - Screech. - Screech, come on. 243 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,310 - What? 244 00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:14,980 (upbeat music) 245 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,620 Now, usually, our married couples get a sack of flour 246 00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,020 to simulate the responsibility of a child. 247 00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,620 Believe me, it's the driest baby you'll ever have. 248 00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:29,090 (audience laughing) 249 00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:32,030 But this year I've changed the rules. 250 00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,430 And guess what? 251 00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:35,130 They're not babies. 252 00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:36,660 You're getting teenagers. 253 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,130 (audience laughing) 254 00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:39,200 - Why teenagers? 255 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,370 - So you can understand why your 256 00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:41,840 parents' hair is turning gray. 257 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,240 - Who are they? 258 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,010 - I'm glad you asked. 259 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,440 Behind these two doors are a son and a daughter. 260 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:53,010 It's kind of like, Let's Make a Deal. (laughs) 261 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,380 Zack and Kelly, why don't you pick first? 262 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,450 (light music) 263 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,390 - Daddy! 264 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,530 (audience laughing) 265 00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:08,760 - He's not my son. 266 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:10,730 There must have been a mix-up at the hospital. 267 00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:13,530 No. 268 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,740 - What a hot mommy. 269 00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:23,510 - Slater, we're both having this child. 270 00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:32,050 Lisa, our baby. 271 00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,390 - I'm not a baby. 272 00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:34,890 I'm a young woman. 273 00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:37,390 I want a big allowance, no curfew and my own phone. 274 00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:38,430 Okay? 275 00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:40,490 (audience laughing) 276 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,160 - You sound just like your mother. 277 00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:46,000 (upbeat music) 278 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:51,410 Screech, what are you doing with that toothpaste? 279 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,770 - I'm making a symbolic statement. 280 00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,680 Lisa's given me the brush. 281 00:11:56,910 --> 00:11:58,810 - Come on, Screech, it's not that bad. 282 00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,050 - Oh, yeah? 283 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,120 I started out the week as a single teenager. 284 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,650 All of a sudden, I'm Lisa's husband. 285 00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:06,790 Now I'm Kelly and Zack's kid. 286 00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:09,160 By tomorrow I'll probably be Jessie's dog. 287 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,030 - Screech, this is just make-believe. 288 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:14,160 - Ha, maybe for you it was. 289 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,900 For me, it was the real thing. 290 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,330 My moment in time. 291 00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:19,200 You got a problem with that, dimples? 292 00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,070 - Screech, what are you doing? 293 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,010 All right, look Screech, come out of there. 294 00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:31,110 I'm not gonna hurt you. 295 00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:33,350 In fact, I think I can help you with Lisa. 296 00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:35,420 - Help with Lisa? 297 00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:37,750 I'll be right down. 298 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,990 - Screech? 299 00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:42,820 Come on. 300 00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:46,290 - Don't worry, I won't hurt you. 301 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,700 Now, what about my woman? 302 00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:50,730 - Come here. 303 00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:53,000 Well, Lisa's my daughter now, 304 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,500 and my daughter listens to me when 305 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,270 it comes to things like what boys she dates. 306 00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:58,910 - I thought you said that was all make-believe. 307 00:12:58,910 --> 00:13:01,880 - Ah, but she needs a good grade, and that's real. 308 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,180 She has to listen to her daddy. 309 00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:06,180 - Would you do that for me? 310 00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:09,020 - Now, that depends on what you would do for me. 311 00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:09,950 - I could teach you how to drink 312 00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:11,790 a Slurpie through your nose. 313 00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,320 (audience laughing) 314 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,990 - Well, that's a start. 315 00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:17,890 (gentle music) 316 00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:19,360 - Okay? 317 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,200 So, dealing with the unexpected is 318 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,200 one of the keys to a successful marriage. 319 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,240 Now, Zack, desires a romantic evening alone with Kelly. 320 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,640 - Ah, boy, do I. 321 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,440 - I am talking about the assignment. 322 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,540 But Kelly has plans of her own. 323 00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:38,210 Okay. 324 00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:41,550 - Honey, I'm home. 325 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,850 - I have a surprise for you, Zack. 326 00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:44,990 - A surprise? 327 00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:50,190 - Dad, my bike has a flat tire. 328 00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:51,330 - Put a Band-Aid on it. 329 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,060 What were you saying, honey? 330 00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:54,160 - Zack, he's your child. 331 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,560 He just wants your attention. 332 00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:57,870 - Attention? 333 00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,570 All right, I'll give him more attention. 334 00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:03,840 Son, get lost. 335 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,670 - Zack? 336 00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,340 - Mom, Dad's not relating to me. 337 00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,410 - He's right, Zack. 338 00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:10,410 That's no way to treat your son. 339 00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,050 - But you're doing a good job, Mom. 340 00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:12,880 Keep it up. 341 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,190 - Screech, I'm sorry. 342 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,150 Now let go of Mommy, and go to your room. 343 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,190 - No! 344 00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:22,520 - I'm your father, go! 345 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,120 - Mom, call 911! 346 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,360 - There's nothing to worry about. 347 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:27,760 Your father loves you. 348 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,200 Don't you, Zack? 349 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,030 Tell him. 350 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:37,600 - I l-love you, Screech. 351 00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:41,280 - You're just saying that to get close to Mommy. 352 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,280 I know, Dad. 353 00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:46,150 - Mr. Belding, Screech is acting like a jerk. 354 00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:48,280 - Well, teenagers are often annoying one minute 355 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,050 and perfect angels the next. 356 00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:51,150 You should know that. 357 00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:59,130 - Now, what was the big surprise for me? 358 00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:00,690 - I'm gonna have another baby. 359 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,260 - Oh, great, that's all I need is Screech, part two. 360 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,100 Wonderful. 361 00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:07,700 - Zack, you are a terrible father! 362 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:08,640 I don't want to be married to someone 363 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:09,940 who doesn't like children! 364 00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:14,570 - Kelly, what are you saying? 365 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,980 - I'm leaving. 366 00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:17,840 - I'm going, too. 367 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,510 I'll send for my ant farm. 368 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,850 - This is awful. 369 00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:27,420 If I can't stay married to Kelly, 370 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,260 she'll never go out with me. 371 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:31,860 (upbeat music) 372 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,700 - You know, Jessie, I've been selfish about our marriage. 373 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,930 I'm going to stay home and raise our little Lisa 374 00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,940 so that you can be a full-time lawyer. 375 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,200 - Well, Slater, I am impressed. 376 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,140 - Spare me. 377 00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:48,440 - I want to have at least seven kids. 378 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,010 - Oh, great, so I'll have to take a number 379 00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:51,280 to get into the bathroom. 380 00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:53,780 - Seven kids? 381 00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:54,980 Slater, I don't know. 382 00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:55,820 - Oh, no, no, no. 383 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,320 It's all right, darling. 384 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,450 I'll give up my career, and take care of 'em all. 385 00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:02,360 Why, because I'm a good father. 386 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,860 - Knock, knock, knock. 387 00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,460 Mr. Spano-Slater, I've come to take 388 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,030 your daughter Lisa to the movies. 389 00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:10,360 - How sweet. 390 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,870 - Lisa's not home right now, 391 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:14,340 so when you hear the beep, hang up. 392 00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,170 Beep. 393 00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,900 - She's home, I see her right there. 394 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,910 - (laughs) Ah, well, Screech, I'm sorry, buddy. 395 00:16:19,910 --> 00:16:20,910 I did my best. 396 00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:22,080 Thanks for coming over. 397 00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,380 - Wait a second. 398 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:25,880 You promised me a date with Lisa 399 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,480 if I broke up Kelly and Zack. 400 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,950 - What? - What? 401 00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:29,780 - What? 402 00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:30,650 - Oops! 403 00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:31,790 (audience laughing) 404 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,390 - Kids. (laughs) 405 00:16:33,390 --> 00:16:35,290 You never know what they're gonna say. 406 00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:41,360 - You have made a mockery out of mock marriage. 407 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,000 I'm failing all of you. 408 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,330 - Let's be fair about this, sir. 409 00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:45,770 We shouldn't all fail. 410 00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:47,230 Just Screech and Slater. 411 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,170 - Why me? 412 00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,400 They're fathers, I'm just a kid. 413 00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:51,410 - You are all to blame for bringing 414 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:54,340 your personal rivalries into this project. 415 00:16:54,340 --> 00:16:56,310 All right, Slater, now why did you try to break up 416 00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,810 Zack and Kelly's marriage? 417 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,710 - Because I wanted to be married to Kelly. 418 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,780 (Zack scoffs) - Home wrecker. 419 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,350 You stay away from my mommy. 420 00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:04,750 - She's not your mommy. 421 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:05,790 - Is that true, Daddy? 422 00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,450 - I'm not your daddy! 423 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,890 - Great, now I'm an orphan. 424 00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:11,230 What a week! 425 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:14,900 - Boys, I am very disappointed in all of you. 426 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,600 At least the girls found out about you 427 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,830 before it was too late. 428 00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,440 - You're right, Mr. Belding. 429 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:26,270 We really acted like jerks. 430 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,110 - We're sorry. 431 00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:28,940 - Yeah. 432 00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:33,210 - Will you let us back into the project? 433 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:36,420 - Well, that's really up to the girls, now, isn't it? 434 00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:37,950 - Well, if the girls say no, 435 00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:39,420 will you be my daddy? 436 00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:40,720 (audience laughing) 437 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,320 (gentle music) 438 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,530 - Max, thanks for letting us use your place for our project. 439 00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,270 - Think of it as another classroom. 440 00:17:58,140 --> 00:17:59,370 - Good evening. 441 00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:01,110 - Good evening, Max. - Good evening. 442 00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,110 - Your wife and daughter are here, Mr. Slater. 443 00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:06,080 - Thank you, Max. 444 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:11,790 Ladies, you both look dynamite tonight. 445 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,690 Here, let me help you with this, honey. 446 00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,690 - Ah, it's not necessary, but thank you. 447 00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,600 - I hope you'll forgive me for promising 448 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,260 you to Screech, dear. 449 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,100 - All right, I forgive you. 450 00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:26,000 Now, let's eat. 451 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,700 - Can I take your order? 452 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,570 - I'll order for everyone, Max. 453 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,010 - Uh, thank you, Slater, but you know 454 00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:34,540 I like to order for myself. 455 00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:37,610 - I sit corrected. 456 00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:42,050 - What's the most expensive thing on the menu, Max? 457 00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:43,550 - The most expensive thing on the menu 458 00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:46,350 would have to be the duck. 459 00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:51,230 (duck quacking) 460 00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:54,500 (audience applauding) 461 00:18:57,430 --> 00:18:59,430 - Well, do you have anything that's dead? 462 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,240 - How about a Max burger? 463 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,310 - I'll have one with everything. 464 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,940 - Three Max Burgers, Max. 465 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,380 - Slater, you're ordering for me again. 466 00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:14,750 - Well, I can't help it, Jessie. 467 00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:17,550 I think the husband should be the man. 468 00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:19,250 - If the husband's a real man, he wouldn't be 469 00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:22,090 threatened by a woman who knows what she wants. 470 00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,920 (audience cheers) 471 00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:29,900 - You know, Jessie, you're really a great girl, 472 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,500 but I think we should break up 473 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,100 before I send you to the moon? 474 00:19:35,570 --> 00:19:37,100 - Slater, what about our grade? 475 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:41,980 - Jessie, two people like us should never be married. 476 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,480 It's the truth, isn't it? 477 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,380 - Yeah, I guess so. 478 00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,780 It's like the roadrunner marrying the coyote. 479 00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,250 (audience laughing) 480 00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:53,750 Oh great, does this mean I have to pay for my own burger? 481 00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:59,030 (audience cheering) 482 00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,130 - Good evening. - Hi. 483 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,500 - Thanks, Max. 484 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,900 Ooh, thanks for coming. 485 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,440 So, what have you been doing since I've been away? 486 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,140 - The usual, how about you? 487 00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,910 - Well, I've been sitting in my room 488 00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:16,080 watching Brady Bunch reruns. 489 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,310 (audience laughing) 490 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,350 - You could always make me laugh, Zack. 491 00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:20,610 It's just a shame we don't feel the same way 492 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,380 about our family and children. 493 00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:24,550 - Well, maybe that's because I was an only child 494 00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:27,290 and wanted all of your attention for myself. 495 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,190 How's our son, little Screech? 496 00:20:30,190 --> 00:20:31,760 - Talks about you all the time. 497 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:32,590 - Really? 498 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,230 Thank you. 499 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,700 - Hope you like tonight's special. 500 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,100 - It's a little surprise Max cooked up. 501 00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:46,710 - So would you consider giving me another chance? 502 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:48,140 - I'd have to think about it. 503 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:51,780 - Hi, Dad. 504 00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:54,150 (audience laughing) 505 00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:54,950 - Son! 506 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,450 Oh, how I've missed him. 507 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:01,720 - [Screech] (knocking) Daddy, where are you? 508 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,920 It's dark in here. 509 00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:11,030 - So what do you say? 510 00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,130 Will you take me back? 511 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,570 - Give him another chance, Mom. 512 00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:15,840 I need a new bike. 513 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,210 - Well, Zack, can you accept the fact that 514 00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:21,780 it's hard to be alone when you have children? 515 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,240 - I can do it. 516 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:24,940 I mean, I want to do it. 517 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,350 - Yeah, but at times it's nice to be alone, too. 518 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,450 - Excuse me, time's up. 519 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:34,520 Our project is over. 520 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,460 - Hey, wait. 521 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,320 We're working on extra credit. 522 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,260 - Mr. Belding, I'm sorry, Slater and I 523 00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:40,560 couldn't make our marriage work. 524 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,030 - Sorry. 525 00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:45,000 - Jessie, sometimes two people just aren't compatible. 526 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,830 The important thing is that both couples 527 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,540 tried to communicate, and they succeeded. 528 00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:52,240 I think you all learned a lot about yourselves. 529 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,370 All of you pass. 530 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:54,440 Good work. 531 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,410 - All right. - All right. 532 00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:56,710 Thanks, Mr. B. - Thanks. 533 00:21:56,710 --> 00:21:58,880 Zack, I have that surprise for you. 534 00:21:58,880 --> 00:21:59,610 - You do? 535 00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:03,320 Remember in our project I told you about another child? 536 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,050 - Um hmm. - Well, it was a girl. 537 00:22:05,050 --> 00:22:05,890 - A girl? 538 00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:07,290 That's great. 539 00:22:07,290 --> 00:22:08,120 - Da-da! 540 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:10,690 (upbeat music) 541 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,470 (rock music) 36835

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