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1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,370
(school bell rings)
2
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,530
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,530 --> 00:00:05,900
♪ And the alarm
gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:08,870
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:08,870 --> 00:00:10,410
♪ By the time I grab my books ♪
6
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,970
♪ And I give myself a look ♪
7
00:00:11,980 --> 00:00:15,410
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
8
00:00:15,410 --> 00:00:20,420
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
9
00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:22,680
♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪
10
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,150
♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪
11
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:27,120
♪ And my dog ate all my
homework last night ♪
12
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,760
♪ Ridin' low on my chair ♪
13
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,430
♪ She won't know
that I'm there ♪
14
00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,660
♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪
15
00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:38,630
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
16
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:41,100
(rock music)
17
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:55,180
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
18
00:00:55,190 --> 00:00:58,220
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
19
00:00:58,220 --> 00:01:03,060
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
20
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,370
(wedding march music)
21
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,880
(audience laughing)
22
00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,750
- This is the greatest
day of my school life.
23
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:29,250
As part of the social
science project,
24
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,690
I'm marrying Kelly.
25
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,150
It's the first
assignment where I can't
26
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,060
wait to tackle the homework.
27
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:37,130
(audience laughing)
28
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,630
Mr. Belding, what
are you doing here?
29
00:01:41,630 --> 00:01:42,600
- I'm here to marry you.
30
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:43,970
- Well, you're not my type.
31
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,500
(audience laughing)
32
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,140
- Button it, Zack, or you'll
be honeymooning in detention.
33
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:47,940
- Buttoned, sir.
34
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,610
- Class, your regular
teacher, Miss Laurette,
35
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,870
eloped last night
with the shop teacher.
36
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,380
So I'm taking her place.
37
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,640
Let's get started.
38
00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:57,110
- Why do I have
to marry Screech?
39
00:01:57,110 --> 00:02:00,180
- Yeah, and why did Preppie
wind up with my Kelly?
40
00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,680
- Your Kelly?
41
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,350
May I remind you, Slater, that
no woman is your possession.
42
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,550
- She's right.
43
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,490
Kelly's mine.
44
00:02:07,490 --> 00:02:10,490
- Miss Turtle, all the couples
were matched alphabetically.
45
00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:12,490
- Well, I'm changing
my name to Zigowitz.
46
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,500
(audience laughing)
47
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,130
- Couples, your grade
will be determined
48
00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,900
by how well you
communicate and handle
49
00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:19,400
life's little differences.
50
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:24,040
Now, do you boys take these
girls to be your school wives?
51
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,070
- Ah, you bet!
52
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,010
- I guess.
53
00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:27,840
- Wahoo!
54
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,380
(audience laughing)
55
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:31,580
- That's what Mrs. Belding
said when we got married.
56
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,310
Girls?
57
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,380
- I do.
- I do.
58
00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:35,220
- I don't!
59
00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:36,150
(audience laughing)
60
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,150
- Lisa, it's only five days.
61
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,620
- Wahoo.
62
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:42,260
- I now pronounce you
school husbands and wives.
63
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:45,060
Our experiment will conclude
Friday night at the Max.
64
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:47,360
Hope you're still speaking
to each other by then.
65
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,200
- I think pretend
marriage is a great way
66
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,670
to learn about life.
67
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:54,200
- I think a pretend
honeymoon would be better.
68
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,470
- I'll pretend you
didn't say that.
69
00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,540
- What's wrong with
it, Mrs. Slater?
70
00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,040
- Mrs. Slater?
71
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,380
If I really married you, I
wouldn't use your last name.
72
00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:05,080
- Whose last name would you use?
73
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,180
- Mine.
74
00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,680
- Huh, this chick's crazy.
75
00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:10,750
I'd bet you want me
to have the kids, too?
76
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,220
(audience laughing)
77
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,660
- If you think you have
the stomach for it.
78
00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:16,120
- Very funny.
79
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:17,630
- But I would expect you to
stay home and take care of them.
80
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:19,560
- Well, lots of men
take care of the kids
81
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,060
when the wife works.
82
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:22,230
- The wife works.
83
00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:23,830
Yeah, I like that concept.
84
00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:26,070
I stay home and watch
Young and the Restless.
85
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,870
- You sound like The
Blond and the Useless.
86
00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:30,870
- Good one, darling.
87
00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:33,070
- Well, I think humor
is very important
88
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,680
in keeping a marriage together.
89
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,610
- Oh yeah.
90
00:03:35,610 --> 00:03:37,280
Other things are important, too.
91
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,210
- Really, Slater?
92
00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:39,410
- Well, sure.
93
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,920
Trust, understanding
and great legs.
94
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,420
- [Zack] Yeah.
95
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:44,420
- You macho pig.
96
00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:45,590
- Oink, oink, baby.
97
00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:48,660
(audience laughing)
98
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,060
- Zack, what do you
think is the most
99
00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:52,090
important thing
about a marriage?
100
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,060
- That's easy, kissing.
101
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,330
- That's terrible!
102
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:56,860
- Not the way I
do it, Peach Cake.
103
00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,100
(audience laughing)
104
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:03,300
- Lisa, a wedding
surprise for you.
105
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,170
- Wow, is this from you, Max?
106
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,340
(audience laughing)
107
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,680
(instrumental pop music)
108
00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:18,720
(hand knocking)
109
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:19,550
Come in.
110
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:31,230
Screech, what are
you doing here?
111
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,470
- Don't talk.
112
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:33,870
Let's go where the
music takes us.
113
00:04:35,170 --> 00:04:37,310
- It's gonna take you
right out the door.
114
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,340
What's with the suitcase?
115
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,710
- Now that we're
married, I'm moving in.
116
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,680
- We are not married.
117
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,210
Take a reality pill.
118
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,320
- You know you're beautiful
when you're angry.
119
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,150
(audience laughing)
120
00:04:50,150 --> 00:04:51,590
- Look what you're doing to me!
121
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,620
- Yeah, you do strange
things to me, too.
122
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,330
Where do you want my white mice?
123
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,330
- Inside of a white cat.
124
00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:00,960
Now will you please leave?
125
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:01,900
- Don't fight it.
126
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,300
Tell me how you really feel.
127
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,130
- Out!
128
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,840
- I forgot to kiss you goodbye.
129
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,210
(Lisa groans)
130
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,780
(audience laughing)
131
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,880
- Dear Lord, thanks
for everything you've
132
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,710
given me today, except
of course, for Screech.
133
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,820
(audience laughing)
134
00:05:30,590 --> 00:05:32,660
(dreamy music)
135
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:35,330
(alarm ringing)
136
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,900
(audience laughing)
137
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:41,200
- Time to get up, darling.
138
00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:49,440
The morning sunrise
is no match for you.
139
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,180
Let's work out.
140
00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:56,280
(audience laughing)
141
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:58,290
- Help, someone save me!
142
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,490
- Hold me, honey,
I'll protect you.
143
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,600
(audience laughing)
144
00:06:15,170 --> 00:06:17,740
(gentle music)
145
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:23,440
- All right, everyone.
146
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,850
Now today, we've
turned the classroom
147
00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:26,380
into a newlywed's apartment.
148
00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,480
Our first couple is
Mr. and Mrs. Slater.
149
00:06:28,490 --> 00:06:30,220
- Spano-Slater please.
150
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,220
- How modern.
151
00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:32,220
(audience laughing)
152
00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,020
Here's your situation.
153
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,890
You both work and arrive
home at dinnertime.
154
00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:39,060
And you're hungry, okay?
155
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:39,890
Places.
156
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,060
- Let's watch, darling.
157
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,770
It can only help
us grow together.
158
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,800
- Okay.
159
00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:50,240
- I'm home.
160
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,170
- Great, I'm starved.
161
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:53,110
- Oh, me too.
162
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:54,740
What are you fixing for dinner?
163
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,480
- (scoffs) Nothing.
164
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,310
I'm a guy.
165
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,750
- Slater!
166
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,480
- Well, why don't you just call
me what you usually call me?
167
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:04,080
- Oh, what's that?
168
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,120
- Tiger Man.
169
00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:09,390
- Look, Slater,
since we both work,
170
00:07:09,390 --> 00:07:11,360
we should share the
household chores.
171
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,190
- Fine.
172
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,560
You cook, I'll eat.
173
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,400
- [Boys In Class] Yeah!
174
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,260
- Haven't you ever heard
of the Women's Movement?
175
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,800
- Well, sure.
176
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,700
Put on something cute and
move it into the kitchen.
177
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,170
(audience laughing)
178
00:07:22,170 --> 00:07:25,010
- Mr. Belding, he doesn't
want a wife, he wants a maid!
179
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,810
- Would he settle
for a mother-in-law?
180
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,450
Okay, then that's a problem
you two will have to work out.
181
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,280
- Thanks.
182
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,110
- Sure.
183
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,250
Now, our next couple is
the Morris-Kapowskis.
184
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,420
- I'm an old-fashioned girl.
185
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:39,450
Mrs. Morris will be fine.
186
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:43,160
- Huh, Kelly Morris, wow.
187
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,630
I've died and gone to heaven.
188
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,230
- Now, here is their situation.
189
00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:52,070
A tearful Kelly has
wrecked Zack's car.
190
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:53,230
- [Class] Ooh!
191
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,200
- [Richard] Okay.
192
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,070
- Zack, I've done
something terrible.
193
00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:58,970
- Who cares?
194
00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:00,370
Kiss me.
195
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:03,480
- Zack, affection does
not solve all problems.
196
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,650
- Solves mine.
197
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:07,050
- Well, try again.
198
00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:14,990
- Zack, I totaled
your new Ferrari.
199
00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:16,590
I don't know what to say.
200
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,260
- Oh, you poor, poor thing.
201
00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:22,030
(audience laughing)
202
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:24,130
You're too upset
to talk right now.
203
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:27,230
- Very good, Zack.
204
00:08:28,370 --> 00:08:30,040
- Let's kiss until
you calm down.
205
00:08:30,870 --> 00:08:31,810
- Heel, Zack.
206
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,270
I think you should calm down.
207
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,780
Now, for our third couple.
208
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,750
Is it the Turtle-Powers?
209
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:39,580
- It's the Turtles.
210
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:40,980
I'm taking her name.
211
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:43,080
(audience laughing)
212
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:46,820
- Okay, Screech has
just lost his job
213
00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:48,620
and comes home
looking for comfort.
214
00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:51,730
Lisa?
215
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,130
Okay.
216
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,270
- Oh, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.
217
00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:04,810
- Uh, Lisa no en casa.
218
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:07,910
(audience laughing)
219
00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:13,080
- I love it when
you speak German.
220
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,350
- What do you want?
221
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:20,050
- I was fired today.
222
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:20,860
- So?
223
00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,990
- I don't think I have the
strength to go on living.
224
00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:25,830
- Okay.
225
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:30,230
- Lisa, your husband
needs more support.
226
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,430
- Hold me.
227
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,370
As long as I have you, I
have the strength to go on.
228
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,180
(Lisa sneezing)
229
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,580
- Is something wrong, Lisa?
230
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,480
- Mr. Belding, I
cannot go on with this.
231
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,010
I'm allergic to Screech.
232
00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:49,450
- Darling, I won't leave
you while you're ill.
233
00:09:49,450 --> 00:09:50,990
Let me take care of you.
234
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:51,820
(Lisa wheezes)
235
00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:52,790
- Whoa.
236
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:55,120
I think you are allergic to him.
237
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,460
I have no choice but
to annul this marriage.
238
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:58,290
- Annul?
239
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:02,530
Does this mean that Lisa and
I aren't married anymore?
240
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:03,600
- Afraid so, Screech.
241
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,400
(Screech sobbing)
242
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,740
- Screech.
- Screech, come on.
243
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,310
- What?
244
00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:14,980
(upbeat music)
245
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,620
Now, usually, our married
couples get a sack of flour
246
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,020
to simulate the
responsibility of a child.
247
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,620
Believe me, it's the driest
baby you'll ever have.
248
00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:29,090
(audience laughing)
249
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:32,030
But this year I've
changed the rules.
250
00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,430
And guess what?
251
00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:35,130
They're not babies.
252
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:36,660
You're getting teenagers.
253
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,130
(audience laughing)
254
00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:39,200
- Why teenagers?
255
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,370
- So you can understand why your
256
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:41,840
parents' hair is turning gray.
257
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,240
- Who are they?
258
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,010
- I'm glad you asked.
259
00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:49,440
Behind these two doors
are a son and a daughter.
260
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:53,010
It's kind of like, Let's
Make a Deal. (laughs)
261
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,380
Zack and Kelly, why
don't you pick first?
262
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,450
(light music)
263
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,390
- Daddy!
264
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,530
(audience laughing)
265
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:08,760
- He's not my son.
266
00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:10,730
There must have been a
mix-up at the hospital.
267
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:13,530
No.
268
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,740
- What a hot mommy.
269
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:23,510
- Slater, we're both
having this child.
270
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:32,050
Lisa, our baby.
271
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,390
- I'm not a baby.
272
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:34,890
I'm a young woman.
273
00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:37,390
I want a big allowance, no
curfew and my own phone.
274
00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:38,430
Okay?
275
00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:40,490
(audience laughing)
276
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,160
- You sound just
like your mother.
277
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:46,000
(upbeat music)
278
00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:51,410
Screech, what are you
doing with that toothpaste?
279
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,770
- I'm making a
symbolic statement.
280
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,680
Lisa's given me the brush.
281
00:11:56,910 --> 00:11:58,810
- Come on, Screech,
it's not that bad.
282
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,050
- Oh, yeah?
283
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,120
I started out the week
as a single teenager.
284
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,650
All of a sudden,
I'm Lisa's husband.
285
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:06,790
Now I'm Kelly and Zack's kid.
286
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:09,160
By tomorrow I'll
probably be Jessie's dog.
287
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,030
- Screech, this is
just make-believe.
288
00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:14,160
- Ha, maybe for you it was.
289
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,900
For me, it was the real thing.
290
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,330
My moment in time.
291
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:19,200
You got a problem
with that, dimples?
292
00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,070
- Screech, what are you doing?
293
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,010
All right, look Screech,
come out of there.
294
00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:31,110
I'm not gonna hurt you.
295
00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:33,350
In fact, I think I can
help you with Lisa.
296
00:12:34,550 --> 00:12:35,420
- Help with Lisa?
297
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:37,750
I'll be right down.
298
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,990
- Screech?
299
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:42,820
Come on.
300
00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:46,290
- Don't worry, I won't hurt you.
301
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,700
Now, what about my woman?
302
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:50,730
- Come here.
303
00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:53,000
Well, Lisa's my daughter now,
304
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,500
and my daughter
listens to me when
305
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,270
it comes to things like
what boys she dates.
306
00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:58,910
- I thought you said that
was all make-believe.
307
00:12:58,910 --> 00:13:01,880
- Ah, but she needs a good
grade, and that's real.
308
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,180
She has to listen to her daddy.
309
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:06,180
- Would you do that for me?
310
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:09,020
- Now, that depends on
what you would do for me.
311
00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:09,950
- I could teach you how to drink
312
00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:11,790
a Slurpie through your nose.
313
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,320
(audience laughing)
314
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,990
- Well, that's a start.
315
00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:17,890
(gentle music)
316
00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:19,360
- Okay?
317
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,200
So, dealing with
the unexpected is
318
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,200
one of the keys to a
successful marriage.
319
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,240
Now, Zack, desires a romantic
evening alone with Kelly.
320
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,640
- Ah, boy, do I.
321
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,440
- I am talking about
the assignment.
322
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,540
But Kelly has plans of her own.
323
00:13:37,410 --> 00:13:38,210
Okay.
324
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:41,550
- Honey, I'm home.
325
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,850
- I have a surprise
for you, Zack.
326
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:44,990
- A surprise?
327
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:50,190
- Dad, my bike has a flat tire.
328
00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:51,330
- Put a Band-Aid on it.
329
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,060
What were you saying, honey?
330
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:54,160
- Zack, he's your child.
331
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,560
He just wants your attention.
332
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:57,870
- Attention?
333
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,570
All right, I'll give
him more attention.
334
00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:03,840
Son, get lost.
335
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,670
- Zack?
336
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:07,340
- Mom, Dad's not relating to me.
337
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,410
- He's right, Zack.
338
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:10,410
That's no way to treat your son.
339
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,050
- But you're doing
a good job, Mom.
340
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:12,880
Keep it up.
341
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,190
- Screech, I'm sorry.
342
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,150
Now let go of Mommy,
and go to your room.
343
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,190
- No!
344
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:22,520
- I'm your father, go!
345
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,120
- Mom, call 911!
346
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,360
- There's nothing
to worry about.
347
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:27,760
Your father loves you.
348
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,200
Don't you, Zack?
349
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,030
Tell him.
350
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:37,600
- I l-love you, Screech.
351
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:41,280
- You're just saying that
to get close to Mommy.
352
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,280
I know, Dad.
353
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:46,150
- Mr. Belding, Screech
is acting like a jerk.
354
00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:48,280
- Well, teenagers are
often annoying one minute
355
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,050
and perfect angels the next.
356
00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:51,150
You should know that.
357
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:59,130
- Now, what was the
big surprise for me?
358
00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:00,690
- I'm gonna have another baby.
359
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,260
- Oh, great, that's all I
need is Screech, part two.
360
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,100
Wonderful.
361
00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:07,700
- Zack, you are a
terrible father!
362
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:08,640
I don't want to be
married to someone
363
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:09,940
who doesn't like children!
364
00:15:12,340 --> 00:15:14,570
- Kelly, what are you saying?
365
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,980
- I'm leaving.
366
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:17,840
- I'm going, too.
367
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,510
I'll send for my ant farm.
368
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,850
- This is awful.
369
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:27,420
If I can't stay
married to Kelly,
370
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,260
she'll never go out with me.
371
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:31,860
(upbeat music)
372
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,700
- You know, Jessie, I've been
selfish about our marriage.
373
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,930
I'm going to stay home
and raise our little Lisa
374
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,940
so that you can be
a full-time lawyer.
375
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,200
- Well, Slater, I am impressed.
376
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:46,140
- Spare me.
377
00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:48,440
- I want to have at
least seven kids.
378
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,010
- Oh, great, so I'll
have to take a number
379
00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:51,280
to get into the bathroom.
380
00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:53,780
- Seven kids?
381
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:54,980
Slater, I don't know.
382
00:15:54,980 --> 00:15:55,820
- Oh, no, no, no.
383
00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,320
It's all right, darling.
384
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,450
I'll give up my career,
and take care of 'em all.
385
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:02,360
Why, because I'm a good father.
386
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,860
- Knock, knock, knock.
387
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,460
Mr. Spano-Slater,
I've come to take
388
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,030
your daughter Lisa
to the movies.
389
00:16:09,030 --> 00:16:10,360
- How sweet.
390
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,870
- Lisa's not home right now,
391
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:14,340
so when you hear
the beep, hang up.
392
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,170
Beep.
393
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,900
- She's home, I see
her right there.
394
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,910
- (laughs) Ah, well,
Screech, I'm sorry, buddy.
395
00:16:19,910 --> 00:16:20,910
I did my best.
396
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:22,080
Thanks for coming over.
397
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,380
- Wait a second.
398
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:25,880
You promised me a date with Lisa
399
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,480
if I broke up Kelly and Zack.
400
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,950
- What?
- What?
401
00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:29,780
- What?
402
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:30,650
- Oops!
403
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:31,790
(audience laughing)
404
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,390
- Kids. (laughs)
405
00:16:33,390 --> 00:16:35,290
You never know what
they're gonna say.
406
00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:41,360
- You have made a mockery
out of mock marriage.
407
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,000
I'm failing all of you.
408
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,330
- Let's be fair about this, sir.
409
00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:45,770
We shouldn't all fail.
410
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:47,230
Just Screech and Slater.
411
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,170
- Why me?
412
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,400
They're fathers, I'm just a kid.
413
00:16:49,410 --> 00:16:51,410
- You are all to
blame for bringing
414
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:54,340
your personal rivalries
into this project.
415
00:16:54,340 --> 00:16:56,310
All right, Slater, now why
did you try to break up
416
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,810
Zack and Kelly's marriage?
417
00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,710
- Because I wanted to
be married to Kelly.
418
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,780
(Zack scoffs)
- Home wrecker.
419
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,350
You stay away from my mommy.
420
00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:04,750
- She's not your mommy.
421
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:05,790
- Is that true, Daddy?
422
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,450
- I'm not your daddy!
423
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,890
- Great, now I'm an orphan.
424
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:11,230
What a week!
425
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:14,900
- Boys, I am very
disappointed in all of you.
426
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,600
At least the girls
found out about you
427
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,830
before it was too late.
428
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,440
- You're right, Mr. Belding.
429
00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:26,270
We really acted like jerks.
430
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,110
- We're sorry.
431
00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:28,940
- Yeah.
432
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:33,210
- Will you let us
back into the project?
433
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:36,420
- Well, that's really up to
the girls, now, isn't it?
434
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:37,950
- Well, if the girls say no,
435
00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:39,420
will you be my daddy?
436
00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:40,720
(audience laughing)
437
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,320
(gentle music)
438
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,530
- Max, thanks for letting us
use your place for our project.
439
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:53,270
- Think of it as
another classroom.
440
00:17:58,140 --> 00:17:59,370
- Good evening.
441
00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:01,110
- Good evening, Max.
- Good evening.
442
00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,110
- Your wife and daughter
are here, Mr. Slater.
443
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:06,080
- Thank you, Max.
444
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:11,790
Ladies, you both look
dynamite tonight.
445
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,690
Here, let me help
you with this, honey.
446
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,690
- Ah, it's not
necessary, but thank you.
447
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,600
- I hope you'll forgive
me for promising
448
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,260
you to Screech, dear.
449
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,100
- All right, I forgive you.
450
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:26,000
Now, let's eat.
451
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,700
- Can I take your order?
452
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,570
- I'll order for everyone, Max.
453
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:33,010
- Uh, thank you,
Slater, but you know
454
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:34,540
I like to order for myself.
455
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:37,610
- I sit corrected.
456
00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:42,050
- What's the most expensive
thing on the menu, Max?
457
00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:43,550
- The most expensive
thing on the menu
458
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:46,350
would have to be the duck.
459
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:51,230
(duck quacking)
460
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:54,500
(audience applauding)
461
00:18:57,430 --> 00:18:59,430
- Well, do you have
anything that's dead?
462
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,240
- How about a Max burger?
463
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,310
- I'll have one with everything.
464
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,940
- Three Max Burgers, Max.
465
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,380
- Slater, you're
ordering for me again.
466
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:14,750
- Well, I can't help it, Jessie.
467
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:17,550
I think the husband
should be the man.
468
00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:19,250
- If the husband's a
real man, he wouldn't be
469
00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:22,090
threatened by a woman
who knows what she wants.
470
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,920
(audience cheers)
471
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:29,900
- You know, Jessie, you're
really a great girl,
472
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,500
but I think we should break up
473
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,100
before I send you to the moon?
474
00:19:35,570 --> 00:19:37,100
- Slater, what about our grade?
475
00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:41,980
- Jessie, two people like
us should never be married.
476
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,480
It's the truth, isn't it?
477
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,380
- Yeah, I guess so.
478
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,780
It's like the roadrunner
marrying the coyote.
479
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,250
(audience laughing)
480
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:53,750
Oh great, does this mean I
have to pay for my own burger?
481
00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:59,030
(audience cheering)
482
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,130
- Good evening.
- Hi.
483
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,500
- Thanks, Max.
484
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,900
Ooh, thanks for coming.
485
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,440
So, what have you been
doing since I've been away?
486
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,140
- The usual, how about you?
487
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,910
- Well, I've been
sitting in my room
488
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:16,080
watching Brady Bunch reruns.
489
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,310
(audience laughing)
490
00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,350
- You could always
make me laugh, Zack.
491
00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:20,610
It's just a shame we
don't feel the same way
492
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,380
about our family and children.
493
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:24,550
- Well, maybe that's
because I was an only child
494
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:27,290
and wanted all of your
attention for myself.
495
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,190
How's our son, little Screech?
496
00:20:30,190 --> 00:20:31,760
- Talks about you all the time.
497
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:32,590
- Really?
498
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,230
Thank you.
499
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,700
- Hope you like
tonight's special.
500
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,100
- It's a little
surprise Max cooked up.
501
00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:46,710
- So would you consider
giving me another chance?
502
00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:48,140
- I'd have to think about it.
503
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:51,780
- Hi, Dad.
504
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:54,150
(audience laughing)
505
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:54,950
- Son!
506
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,450
Oh, how I've missed him.
507
00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:01,720
- [Screech] (knocking)
Daddy, where are you?
508
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,920
It's dark in here.
509
00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:11,030
- So what do you say?
510
00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,130
Will you take me back?
511
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,570
- Give him another chance, Mom.
512
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:15,840
I need a new bike.
513
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,210
- Well, Zack, can you
accept the fact that
514
00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:21,780
it's hard to be alone
when you have children?
515
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,240
- I can do it.
516
00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:24,940
I mean, I want to do it.
517
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,350
- Yeah, but at times it's
nice to be alone, too.
518
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,450
- Excuse me, time's up.
519
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:34,520
Our project is over.
520
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,460
- Hey, wait.
521
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,320
We're working on extra credit.
522
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,260
- Mr. Belding, I'm
sorry, Slater and I
523
00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:40,560
couldn't make our marriage work.
524
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,030
- Sorry.
525
00:21:42,030 --> 00:21:45,000
- Jessie, sometimes two
people just aren't compatible.
526
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,830
The important thing
is that both couples
527
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,540
tried to communicate,
and they succeeded.
528
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:52,240
I think you all learned
a lot about yourselves.
529
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,370
All of you pass.
530
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:54,440
Good work.
531
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:55,410
- All right.
- All right.
532
00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:56,710
Thanks, Mr. B.
- Thanks.
533
00:21:56,710 --> 00:21:58,880
Zack, I have that
surprise for you.
534
00:21:58,880 --> 00:21:59,610
- You do?
535
00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:03,320
Remember in our project I
told you about another child?
536
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,050
- Um hmm.
- Well, it was a girl.
537
00:22:05,050 --> 00:22:05,890
- A girl?
538
00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:07,290
That's great.
539
00:22:07,290 --> 00:22:08,120
- Da-da!
540
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:10,690
(upbeat music)
541
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,470
(rock music)
36835
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