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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:05,710 . 2 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,341 - guys with kidsis taped in 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,341 Front of a live studio audience. 4 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:09,776 - boys, the time has come. 5 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:11,811 We've been without a tv 6 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:11,811 For six months. 7 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,814 Now, we've had some quality time 8 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,814 As a family, but... 9 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,418 It's time to put 10 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,418 All that behind us. 11 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,154 The great sale is near. 12 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,857 Boys: black friday! 13 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,458 - yes. Yes! 14 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,227 I just have to be one 15 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,227 Of the first seven people 16 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,195 In line when they open the doors 17 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,195 The night of thanksgiving, 18 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,564 And I will take home 19 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,564 A $4,000 television 20 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,434 For $100! 21 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:37,203 - okay, gary. 22 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:37,203 Have fun in line. 23 00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,772 - oh, marny, I'm surprised 24 00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,772 How well you're taking 25 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,240 That I'll be missing 26 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,240 Thanksgiving 27 00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,142 To spend three days 28 00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,142 In line. 29 00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,810 This level of understanding 30 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:46,746 Is out of character 31 00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:46,746 For you and... 32 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,449 Giving me 33 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,449 The heebie-jeebies. 34 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,618 - oh, I'd be furious 35 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,618 If I actually thought 36 00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:53,353 You were gonna miss 37 00:00:51,651 --> 00:00:53,353 Thanksgiving. 38 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,560 - oh, you don't think 39 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,560 I can do it? 40 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,591 - gary, you don't do well 41 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,591 With cold. 42 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:03,630 You actually have yoda 43 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:03,630 Warm up the toilet seat for you. 44 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,680 - it's part of the boy's 45 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,680 Allowance, all right? 46 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,235 Men, gather round. 47 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:11,170 They told the pilgrims 48 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,840 That they would die 49 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,840 On the cold shores of america. 50 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:16,760 - a lot of them did. 51 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,780 - in honor of those 52 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,780 Who didn't, 53 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:21,614 I'm getting me 54 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:21,614 A big-ass tv. 55 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,451 Good-bye, family. 56 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,451 I love ya. 57 00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:25,685 [door slams] 58 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,621 - I like that guy. 59 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:32,258 - * why would you walk 60 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:32,258 When you can run? * 61 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:33,860 * everybody sing it out * 62 00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:36,830 * why would you walk 63 00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:36,830 When you can run? * 64 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,936 - oh, sheila, 65 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,936 It shouldn't be this hard 66 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,637 To figure out who gets ernie 67 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,637 For thanksgiving. 68 00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:46,639 - fine. 69 00:01:44,670 --> 00:01:46,639 Let's cut to the chase. 70 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:50,276 Ernie, who do you want 71 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:50,276 To spend thanksgiving with? 72 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,745 I'm joking. 73 00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:53,646 But if he somehow 74 00:01:51,777 --> 00:01:53,646 Does indicate me, 75 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,683 I think we should honor it. 76 00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:59,485 Fine. Um, how about this? 77 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,122 Since we can't decide, 78 00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,122 You, me, and ernie spend 79 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:04,290 His first thanksgiving 80 00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:04,290 Together. 81 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:07,260 - so just me, my son, 82 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:07,260 And my ex-wife. 83 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,929 Should we really kill 84 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,929 A turkey for that? 85 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,599 - you know, I could see 86 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,599 What my friends are doing. 87 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,934 - I hate your friends. 88 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,934 You hate your friends. 89 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,303 - who doesn't hate 90 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,303 Their friends? 91 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,638 - I don't. 92 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:19,973 I love my friends. 93 00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:21,908 - well, what are they doing 94 00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:21,908 For thanksgiving? 95 00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:23,977 - uh, nick and emily 96 00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:23,977 Are going to his cousin's. 97 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,279 Gary's waiting in line for three 98 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,279 Days to get a cheap tv. 99 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,916 - oh, I never thought I'd know 100 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,916 One of those people. 101 00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:32,118 Uh, well, okay. 102 00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:32,118 It's too bad. 103 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,454 I was thinking, 104 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,454 If they were around, 105 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,456 I would have them 106 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,456 All over. 107 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,957 - you would? Why? 108 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,360 - well, I live 109 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,360 In the building now. 110 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,295 You all have your sunday night 111 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,295 Dinners together, 112 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,963 And I'm never included. 113 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,800 I don't get to use 114 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,800 The costco card you all share. 115 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,835 - would you ever buy 116 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,835 In bulk? 117 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,937 - ugh. No. 118 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:55,875 But I would like the opportunity 119 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:55,875 To decline. 120 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,344 The truth is, I always feel 121 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,344 A little like 122 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:58,712 An outsider here. 123 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,146 Having everyone over 124 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,146 For thanksgiving 125 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,948 Would be a great opportunity 126 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,948 For me to become 127 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,717 Part of the group. 128 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:07,320 But now it'll just be you, 129 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:07,320 Me, ernie, 130 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,357 And whatever delicious treat 131 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,357 Pbs has on tap for us. 132 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,192 - oh, ernie, 133 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,192 We're in trouble. 134 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,328 Uh, actually, you know, 135 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,328 Marny is free. 136 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,930 And I'm sure I could get 137 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,930 Nick and emily 138 00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:18,640 To change their plans, so-- 139 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,600 - great. Then that's settled. 140 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,902 Just like the pilgrims 141 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,902 Won over the wampanoag, 142 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,739 This thanksgiving, 143 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,739 I too will win over a group 144 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,408 Of unsophisticated savages. 145 00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:30,410 - mm. Emily, 146 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,412 You have outdone yourself 147 00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,412 With the stuffing this year. 148 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:34,347 - that is not cooked yet. 149 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,417 There are raw eggs in that. 150 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,417 You'll get salmonella. 151 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:41,353 - I mean, the damage is done. 152 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:41,353 I'm gonna keep at it. 153 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,490 - hey. 154 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,490 Get this. 155 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,493 Sheila and I couldn't decide 156 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,493 Who gets ernie for thanksgiving, 157 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,495 So it's just gonna be the three 158 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,495 Of us in her apartment. 159 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:52,932 - ha, ha, ha! 160 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:52,932 That sounds terrible. 161 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,368 - [taunting] 162 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,368 * you have to go to sheila's * 163 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,937 - and so do you two. 164 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,937 - what? 165 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,774 - I'm calling in the favor 166 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,774 You owe me from your wedding. 167 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,342 - no. 168 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,342 - no. 169 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,411 - not now. You can't. 170 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,411 It's thanksgiving. 171 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,346 - yes, now. 172 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,346 You two told me 173 00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,815 You'd give me anything 174 00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,815 If I was trash can annie's date 175 00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,850 To your wedding. 176 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:15,550 - huh. Trash can annie. 177 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,324 - I really wish you would stop 178 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,324 Calling my sister that. 179 00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:21,695 You know, 180 00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:21,695 She hasn't gotten drunk 181 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:25,432 And fallen in a trash can 182 00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:25,432 In eight months. 183 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,499 - okay, then that's that. 184 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,268 So we are going 185 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,268 To sheila's. 186 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,437 - [sighs] 187 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,437 A deal is a deal. 188 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,720 - but if we do this, 189 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,720 You've finally gotta tell us 190 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,274 How you stopped trash can annie 191 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,274 From getting drunk 192 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,543 And ruining our wedding. 193 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:37,977 - I let her get 194 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:37,977 A little handsy with me, 195 00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:40,847 You know. 196 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,840 I'm not proud of it. 197 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,519 I'm a little proud of it. 198 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,957 - oh! 199 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,961 Whoo! It's much colder out here 200 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:54,961 Than I thought it would be. 201 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,796 You know, I've been keeping 202 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,796 My hands down in my pants, 203 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,632 But everybody keeps staring. 204 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:02,102 You know, can I--can I warm 'em 205 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:02,102 Up on your stove, man? 206 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,838 - sorry. 207 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,838 Every man for himself. 208 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,720 That's just the way 209 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,720 It is 210 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,874 Out here on the line. 211 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,643 - [together] 212 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,643 Hey, hup! 213 00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:12,846 - okay, well, uh, 214 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:16,850 Can we at least all huddle 215 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:16,850 Like penguins for warmth? 216 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,451 Will somebody at least 217 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,451 Lay on top of me? 218 00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,687 I promise I'll be cool. 219 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:42,942 - gary? 220 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,211 - whoa. Oh, my god. 221 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:45,211 It's morning. 222 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,646 [laughs] 223 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,810 I made it. 224 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,150 [cackles] 225 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,150 I made it! 226 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,318 - here, we brought you a-- 227 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,318 - ooh! 228 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,853 Oh, yeah. Ooh. 229 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,323 - wow. 230 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,323 - mm. 231 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,160 - looks like a walrus 232 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,160 Eating a seal. 233 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,662 - marny was right. 234 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,662 This was a bad idea, man. 235 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,197 I don't think 236 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,197 I'm gonna make it. 237 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,765 - gary, it's only been 238 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,765 One night. 239 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,268 - I don't care. 240 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,268 It's cold! 241 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,271 I don't like these people. 242 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,271 They're mean to me. 243 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,273 They didn't even want 244 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,273 To cuddle with me, 245 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,909 'cause they're 246 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,909 A bunch of jerks! 247 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,144 Boys: dad! 248 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,144 - hey! 249 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,246 What's up, boys? 250 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,815 - good. 251 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,815 Dad, how are you doing? 252 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,650 - great. A couple 253 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,650 Of homeless guys came over 254 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,118 At 4:00 in the morning 255 00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,687 And taught us kung fu 256 00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,687 For an hour. 257 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,155 - come on, gary. 258 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,155 - what? 259 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,724 - stop pretending. 260 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,826 I know you're miserable. 261 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:35,362 Let's just go home. 262 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,964 We'll make you some 263 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,964 Hot chocolate, 264 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:39,699 Some soup. 265 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,868 I'll run you a nice bath. 266 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,803 - can I eat my soup 267 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,803 In the bath? 268 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,772 - whatever you want. 269 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,407 - dad, don't do it! 270 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:52,145 - the pilgrims died so you 271 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:52,145 Could get a big-ass tv! 272 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,847 - you're right, boys. 273 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,383 I'm not going anywhere. 274 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,383 I can do it. 275 00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:00,320 - all right, gary. 276 00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:00,320 Suit yourself. 277 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:03,289 But it's gonna be 278 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:03,289 Record-low temperatures tonight. 279 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,291 - bring it on. 280 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,291 Bring it on! 281 00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,427 I'm tough! 282 00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,427 I'm strong! 283 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,129 [laughs] 284 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,320 [sobbing] 285 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:12,320 What am I gonna do? 286 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:13,800 I'm gonna die out here. 287 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,335 I'm gonna die. 288 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,370 - I'm so jealous 289 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,370 You get to die. 290 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,706 I have to go to sheila's. 291 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,440 - what's going on? 292 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,440 Is ernie okay? 293 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:25,378 - he's fine. Why? 294 00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,813 - because you called me 295 00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:26,813 At 11:00 at night 296 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,314 And told me to get up here 297 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,314 Right now. 298 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,500 - I'm just trying 299 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,500 To figure out a theme 300 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,418 For tomorrow's 301 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,418 Thanksgiving feast. 302 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,220 I'm toying with period garb. 303 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:37,570 We will each represent 304 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:37,570 A native american tribe. 305 00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:39,392 I call penobscot. 306 00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:39,392 Yes. 307 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:40,894 - no, sheila, my friends 308 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:40,894 Aren't like your friends. 309 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,762 You don't have to impress them. 310 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,762 - oh, chris. 311 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,980 You don't come back 312 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,980 From a bad dinner party. 313 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,766 You remember my friend 314 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,766 Dana baumgartner. 315 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,690 - yeah. 316 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,690 - her souffle didn't rise. 317 00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:52,372 She was an outcast. 318 00:07:49,690 --> 00:07:52,372 She had to move... 319 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,174 To new jersey. 320 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,476 - sheila, stop making 321 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,476 Yourself crazy 322 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:57,977 Before you freak out, okay? 323 00:07:58,780 --> 00:07:59,879 Just keep it simple. 324 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,115 - yes. Simple. 325 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,218 Simple like a play. 326 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,218 Oh! Help me write a play! 327 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,927 - no cuts. 328 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,927 - no cuts. 329 00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:15,128 - no cuts. 330 00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:15,128 - no cuts. 331 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,363 - no cuts. 332 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,363 - no cuts. 333 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:19,366 - no cuts. 334 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:19,366 Oh, hey, baby. 335 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,400 - all right, gary. 336 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,680 Enough is enough. 337 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,403 Today is thanksgiving, 338 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,405 And you need to be 339 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,405 With your family, 340 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,774 Having a terrible time 341 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,774 At sheila's. 342 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,409 So just pack-- 343 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:33,313 Are you wearing your socks 344 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:33,313 On your hands? 345 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,480 - I am. 346 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,383 Plus I switched spots 347 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,383 So I could sit 348 00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,418 On this heating grate. 349 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,520 What? 350 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,520 - so this is it. 351 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,288 We're spending 352 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,288 Thanksgiving apart? 353 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:45,358 - well, baby, we can spend 354 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:45,358 Thanksgiving here. 355 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,459 Grab the kids, 356 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,128 And come join us 357 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,128 In the queue. 358 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,896 [chuckles] 359 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,896 That's what ian calls it. 360 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:51,164 Ian's from england. 361 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,533 - I don't care! 362 00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:55,502 Let's just buy the tv. 363 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,720 - we are not buying 364 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,720 A $4,000 tv. 365 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,541 Clark breaks a television 366 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,541 I paid $100 for, 367 00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,900 I send him to his room. 368 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:04,911 He breaks a tv 369 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:04,911 I spent $4,000 for, 370 00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:07,514 I'm pressing charges. 371 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,516 - well, if you're looking 372 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,516 For your family, 373 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,170 We'll be at sheila's. 374 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:12,452 - ba-- 375 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:12,452 - have a good day, ma'am. 376 00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:16,220 - oh, shut up, ian. 377 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,260 [knock at door] 378 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,260 - oh. 379 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,495 [bright classical music] 380 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,798 Happy thanksgiving. 381 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:27,534 - wow, sheila. 382 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,403 I haven't been here. 383 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,403 Your place is so nice. 384 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:31,938 - thank you. 385 00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:35,108 I have all my money 386 00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:35,108 And half of chris's. 387 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,780 - well, I-I made 388 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:38,780 An oreo pie. 389 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,379 I'm kind of famous 390 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:39,379 For it. 391 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,214 - oh, emily, 392 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,214 I'm sure you are. 393 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,550 However, I'm very excited 394 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,550 About this, 395 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,318 And I think 396 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,318 You will be too. 397 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,519 I have planned 398 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,556 A historically accurate 399 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,556 Thanksgiving meal, 400 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,292 Serving only foods the pilgrims 401 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,292 And the wampanoag 402 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,195 Would've actually eaten 403 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,195 On the first thanksgiving. 404 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,596 Yeah. 405 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,596 So, now, uh, 406 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,599 Oreos weren't invented 407 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,599 Until the 20th century, 408 00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:00,967 And--fun fact-- 409 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,504 the mayflowerarrived in... 410 00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:08,800 - style? 411 00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:10,143 - 1620. 412 00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:10,143 - hey! 413 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,480 - that's right, violet. 414 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,480 God, who knew? Public school. 415 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,215 [chuckles] 416 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,418 Okay, now, I don't want this 417 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,418 To get mixed in, 418 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,488 So I will just put it 419 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,488 Out here. 420 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,590 - she kicked my pie 421 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,590 Out of the party. 422 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:27,560 - well, like with everything 423 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:27,560 With sheila, 424 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,196 We'll be fine 425 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,196 Once we start drinking. 426 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,531 - there's no booze. 427 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,333 - [together] 428 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,333 What? 429 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,502 - evidently, the pilgrims 430 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,502 Ran out of booze 431 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,238 On the ship ride over 432 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,238 From england. 433 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:41,341 Fun fact. 434 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,910 - hey, guys. 435 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,910 - aww. 436 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:47,514 - that is ridiculous. 437 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,160 - so no booze? 438 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,160 - no. No, no. 439 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,584 That's why I'm holding ernie 440 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,584 Right now, 441 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:56,890 'cause I know if I wasn't, 442 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:56,890 You would punch me. 443 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,425 - mom, everything in here 444 00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:58,425 Is breakable. 445 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,627 I don't trust myself. 446 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,429 - I wish we were with dad. 447 00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,898 - oh, boys, I wish we were all 448 00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,898 Together too. 449 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,467 But we're still gonna have 450 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,467 A great thanksgiving. 451 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,969 I'm sure sheila has made 452 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,969 All your favorites, 453 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,539 Pumpkin pie 454 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,539 And mashed potatoes-- 455 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:15,408 - do you smell fish? 456 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:15,408 - good nose. 457 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,410 I'm boiling a cod. 458 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,946 You know, they didn't have 459 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,946 Domesticated turkeys 460 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,414 Or ovens back then. 461 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,615 That's why it's called 462 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,615 Cape cod, 463 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,840 And not cape turkey. 464 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,485 - that's a fun fact. 465 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,485 - fun fact. 466 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,121 - [laughs] 467 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,121 No. No. That was a joke. 468 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:29,689 [laughing] 469 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:33,226 Oh, we are having 470 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:33,226 A festive time, huh? 471 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,694 - kill me. 472 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:38,331 - no. We are suffering 473 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:38,331 Through this together. 474 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,699 - I wish gary was here. 475 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,469 He'd have the guts 476 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,469 To kill me. 477 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,209 - so is everyone good? 478 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,477 Is everyone having 479 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,477 The best thanksgiving 480 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,946 Of their lives? 481 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,946 - hmm. Yeah. 482 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:57,650 More maple sap 483 00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:57,650 On your hickory nuts? 484 00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,854 - wow, all you kids are 485 00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,854 In the clean plate club, huh? 486 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,423 And you know 487 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,423 What your reward is? 488 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,326 Knowledge. 489 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,326 [giggles] 490 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,428 You're welcome. 491 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,598 I'm gonna go check 492 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,598 On dessert. 493 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,633 - all right, boys. 494 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,633 What did you do with your food? 495 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,235 'cause I know 496 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,235 You didn't eat it. 497 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,736 - we did. 498 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,736 - no, you didn't. 499 00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,639 You'd be dead. 500 00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:21,441 Tell us how kids hide food. 501 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,410 - please. 502 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,678 - when you're all not looking, 503 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,678 We scoop it up 504 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,546 All in our napkin 505 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,546 And throw it away 506 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,481 In the garbage 507 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,481 In the bathroom. 508 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,384 - okay, that gets rid of it, 509 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,384 But then what do we eat? 510 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,860 - [gasps] 511 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,860 We have three pounds of stuffing 512 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:34,487 In our fridge. 513 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:35,722 - yes. Yes! 514 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,757 Okay, I will find a way 515 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,757 To sneak it up here. 516 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,526 - okay, but don't let sheila 517 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,526 Catch you. 518 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,627 She put all this pressure 519 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,627 On herself because she feels 520 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,696 Like she needs 521 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,696 To impress everyone. 522 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:47,667 - are you sure she didn't say 523 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:47,667 depresseveryone? 524 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:51,237 It's a little holiday 525 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:51,237 Word play for ya. 526 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,772 - all right, boys, 527 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,772 How many napkins would it take 528 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,441 To soak up this soup? 529 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,543 - no, for soup, 530 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,543 You spill your water 531 00:12:56,576 --> 00:13:01,470 To create a diversion 532 00:12:56,576 --> 00:13:01,470 And pour it in a houseplant. 533 00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:05,719 - is that how my ficus 534 00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:05,719 Keeps dying? 535 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,787 - you've said too much. 536 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,726 - "Dearest marny, 537 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:15,662 "I know I'm far from home 538 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:15,662 And missing thanksgiving 539 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,797 "With you and my boys. 540 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,660 "If it makes you feel 541 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,660 Any better, 542 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:24,437 I've grown to hate ian." 543 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,720 Oh. Hey. 544 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,908 It's almost time. 545 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,908 We'll be getting our tvs. 546 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,744 - maybe. 547 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,413 - what do you mean, maybe? 548 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,413 There are seven tvs, 549 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,415 And we're the first seven people 550 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,415 In line. 551 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,783 - [chuckles] 552 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,652 It's not the first seven people 553 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,652 In line. 554 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,820 It's the seven people 555 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,820 Who can fight their way 556 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,757 To the tvs first. 557 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:48,595 - oh. 558 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,563 All right, well, 559 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,298 I guess I'd better 560 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,298 Limber up. 561 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,367 [grunting] 562 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,375 Hey. That's funny. 563 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,375 You look familiar. 564 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,777 Do I know you? 565 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,845 You got kids that go 566 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,845 To my school or something? 567 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:08,615 - nah. I'm emmitt smith. 568 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,784 - [laughing] 569 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,784 Yeah, yeah! 570 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:13,860 You used to be a running back 571 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:13,860 For the dallas cowboys. 572 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,854 What, you in line 573 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,854 For a toaster or something? 574 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,823 - nah, I'm here for the tvs. 575 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,459 - oh, come on, man. 576 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,459 You got three super bowl rings. 577 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,861 You made some cash, right? 578 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,861 You don't need this. 579 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,563 - I did all right. 580 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:27,400 But I still love 581 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:27,400 Running past people, though. 582 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,735 - all right. 583 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,735 - I'm gonna stretch out. 584 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,700 - oh, okay. 585 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,700 Gonna stretch out? 586 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:31,771 - hold on, homes. 587 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:31,771 What are you doing? 588 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:32,972 - I'm getting my stretch on, 589 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:32,972 Like you. 590 00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:34,607 - no, these are 591 00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:34,607 Secret stretches, man. 592 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:35,875 You can't be doing that. 593 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:40,647 I'm going back to my tent. 594 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,815 - is everyone having 595 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,815 A good time? 596 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,850 Why doesn't anyone 597 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,850 Want seconds? 598 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,852 Is the food bland? 599 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,852 I think it's a little bit bland. 600 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,821 But it's on theme. 601 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,821 Is it a good theme? 602 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,556 Am I limited by my theme? 603 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,891 Why aren't you answering me? 604 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,891 Do they hate me? 605 00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,894 - sheila, calm down. 606 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,896 What is going on with you? 607 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,132 - [sighs and stammers] 608 00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:02,769 Look. Ever since I moved 609 00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:02,769 Below 72nd street, 610 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,472 All my old friends 611 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:05,472 Barely talk to me anymore. 612 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,740 And I can't be written off 613 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,740 By your friends as well. 614 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,677 I want them to like me. 615 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,145 And I want them to know 616 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,145 That there's more to me 617 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:16,490 Than just always being 618 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:16,490 The smartest one in the room. 619 00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:17,584 And that's why 620 00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:17,584 It has to go well. 621 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:18,918 Is it going well? 622 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,688 Again, why are you 623 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,688 Not answering me? 624 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,690 - it is! 625 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,690 It's going well. 626 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:24,924 Trust me. 627 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,426 - yeah? 628 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,426 - yeah. 629 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,794 - okay. 630 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,794 [exhales] 631 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,620 [exhales] 632 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,620 Okay. 633 00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:30,663 Okay. 634 00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:30,663 [laughs] 635 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,990 Oh! You know what 636 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,990 I'm gonna do? 637 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,802 I'm gonna break out 638 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,802 The ring stick. 639 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,638 See, you try to get the ring 640 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,638 On the stick. 641 00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,940 It's what the early settlers did 642 00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,940 To amuse themselves. 643 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,942 [laughs] 644 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:46,746 Buoyed their spirits while they 645 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:46,746 Were dying of exposure. 646 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,915 Everyone better buckle up. 647 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,187 What is this? 648 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,187 - chris! 649 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,889 What happened 650 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,889 To the warning signal? 651 00:15:55,922 --> 00:16:00,160 [caws] 652 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,429 Is that s-stuffing? 653 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:06,800 Is everyone eating stuffing 654 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:06,800 Out of a knockoff birkin bag? 655 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,835 - what makes you think 656 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,835 It's a knockoff? 657 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:12,572 - stitching, piping, lining. 658 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,909 - we're sorry. 659 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,909 We were just really hungry. 660 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,845 - so you didn't eat 661 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,845 My food. 662 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,914 - oh, we tried. 663 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,914 We really did. 664 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,582 But don't blame yourself. 665 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:25,785 You know, pilgrims were 666 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:25,785 Just really gross people 667 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,489 Who ate really gross things. 668 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,580 - so the meal was 669 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,580 A disaster. 670 00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:34,127 I am so sorry, everyone. 671 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,596 I can't imagine what you 672 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,596 Must think of me right now. 673 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,965 I-I am mortified. 674 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:40,967 This food, I-- 675 00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:44,700 I am so sorry that you shouldn't 676 00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:44,700 Even have to look at it. 677 00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,940 So let me get it 678 00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,940 Out of your sight. 679 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,209 - whoa, hey. 680 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,209 - what are you doing? 681 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,944 - I'm clearing the table. 682 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,446 - oh, my god. 683 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,446 She's losing it. 684 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,617 [dishes clattering] 685 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:01,210 - all clear! 686 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,156 - that was awesome! 687 00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:10,230 - okay. 688 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,319 Well, that's it. 689 00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:15,902 I have caused a huge scene 690 00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:15,902 And ruined thanksgiving, 691 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,471 So write me off. 692 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,473 Make fun of me 693 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,473 Behind my back. 694 00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:23,609 - what are you talking 695 00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:23,609 About, sheila? 696 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,912 We're not gonna write you off 697 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,912 Just because we had 698 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:29,115 One terrible, 699 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:29,115 Terrible thanksgiving. 700 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:32,652 - yeah, and when we 701 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:32,652 Make fun of you, you know, 702 00:17:32,686 --> 00:17:33,953 We don't do it 703 00:17:32,686 --> 00:17:33,953 Behind your back. 704 00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:35,755 We do it 705 00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:35,755 Right to your face. 706 00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:38,580 For example, 707 00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:38,580 Can you see in infrared 708 00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:42,620 Like the other predators? 709 00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:42,620 See? 710 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:43,697 - that's true. It's-- 711 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,800 It's always right 712 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,800 In front of my face. 713 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,903 - always. 714 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,903 - always. 715 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:52,238 - see? I told you. 716 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:52,238 They don't care. 717 00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,750 It's your friends 718 00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,750 Who banish people to new jersey. 719 00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:56,276 And, you know, 720 00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:56,276 Speaking of which, 721 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:59,846 You should really call 722 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:59,846 Dana baumgartner. 723 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:03,650 - eh. 724 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,850 That is so nice, 725 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:08,210 That you guys don't-- 726 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:08,210 Don't feel that pressure 727 00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:10,623 Of trying to impress 728 00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:10,623 Each other. 729 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,292 I mean, look at you, emily. 730 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,940 You wore flats 731 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,940 To a holiday dinner. 732 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,300 Who does that? 733 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,231 You do. 734 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,330 Because you don't care 735 00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:22,680 What kind of impression 736 00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:22,680 You make. 737 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:26,539 Oh. Yeah, yeah. 738 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,410 And, marny, 739 00:18:28,410 --> 00:18:31,440 Your husband abandoned you 740 00:18:28,410 --> 00:18:31,440 On thanksgiving 741 00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:33,813 To sit in line 742 00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:33,813 To buy a tv. 743 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:36,116 I mean, and here you are, 744 00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:36,116 Without a care in the world 745 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,251 About how that makes 746 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,251 Your family look. 747 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:42,155 Oh, that must be so freeing. 748 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,663 - I hadn't thought of it 749 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,663 That way. 750 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:53,133 - even more incredible. 751 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,135 - you know what? 752 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:58,710 Gary didn't abandon me. 753 00:18:58,710 --> 00:19:00,140 I abandoned him. 754 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:04,244 Come on, boys. 755 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:04,244 My family should be together. 756 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:08,810 Even if it is 757 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:08,810 Standing in line. 758 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,716 - since we don't care 759 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,716 What people think, 760 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,840 I stuck a bunch 761 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,840 Of those oat rolls 762 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:15,210 In your heating vent. 763 00:19:15,210 --> 00:19:17,857 - wonderful, yoda. 764 00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:19,826 - hey. 765 00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:19,826 - hey! 766 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,162 What are you guys doing here? 767 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,162 - we came to join you. 768 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:26,320 - I still think this 769 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:26,320 Is extremely stupid, 770 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,335 But we're gonna be 771 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,335 Extremely stupid together. 772 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,170 As a family. 773 00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,172 - [chuckles] 774 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,400 Oh, hug me tighter. 775 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,176 I can't feel my body. 776 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:40,113 - [caws] 777 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:40,113 - what? 778 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,648 - hey, guys. 779 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,149 Look, I know you didn't get 780 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,149 A lot to eat, 781 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,184 So in honor 782 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,184 Of thanksgiving, 783 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,686 I went to subway 784 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,686 And got some sandwiches. 785 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,154 There's turkey melts 786 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,154 And roast beef, 787 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:49,456 Something for everybody. 788 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,570 - thank you. 789 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,570 - there you go. 790 00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:51,958 And I kept the receipt, 791 00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:55,128 So you can just reimburse me 792 00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:55,128 At your leisure. 793 00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:58,198 - oh, my god. 794 00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:58,198 The bread is still warm! 795 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,200 [cackles] 796 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:03,300 - see? Doesn't take much 797 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:03,300 To keep this crowd happy. 798 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,371 - oh, sheila, these sandwiches 799 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,371 Are so much better 800 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,206 Than your cooking. 801 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,976 See? Right to your face. 802 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,145 - boys, the doors 803 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,145 Are about to open. 804 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,180 We are this close 805 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,180 To our goal. 806 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,683 There's only one thing 807 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,683 That stands in between us 808 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,219 And my big-ass tv. 809 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:22,222 [whispering indistinctly] 810 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,723 Okay? 811 00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:25,492 Now! 812 00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:25,492 Boys: [scream] 813 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,727 - run! Get it! Run! 814 00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:31,197 - boys, get off! 815 00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:31,197 Boys: [growling] 816 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,867 - wow. 817 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,867 Families coming together. 818 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,360 Now, that is the spirit 819 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,360 Of thanksgiving, huh? 820 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:37,370 Oh. 821 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:40,407 Gary just climbed 822 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:40,407 That old man like a ladder. 823 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,943 Not in the spirit. 824 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,943 Not in the spirit at all. 825 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,510 - [grunts] 826 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,687 All right, 827 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,687 It's all hooked up. 828 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,523 And with the touch of a button, 829 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,523 We'll introduce 830 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:59,526 Our newest and possibly favorite 831 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:59,526 Family member. 832 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:02,862 Marny, would you like 833 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:02,862 The honors? 834 00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:06,933 - are you sure? 835 00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:06,933 - nope. I'll do it. 836 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,680 Ah! 837 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,103 All: [oohing and ahhing] 838 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,638 - yeah. 839 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,139 - now, I would not be 840 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,139 A good friend 841 00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:15,942 If I didn't point out 842 00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:15,942 That that tv 843 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,512 Is far too big 844 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,512 For this apartment. 845 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,810 I feel like I can say 846 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,810 Those things 847 00:21:21,810 --> 00:21:22,515 Now that you all 848 00:21:21,810 --> 00:21:22,515 Have officially welcomed me 849 00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:24,551 Into your group. 850 00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,186 - what is she talking about? 851 00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,186 When did that happen? 852 00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:29,890 That didn't happen, right? 853 00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:31,458 - it happened. 854 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,527 - then this is the blackest 855 00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,527 Friday of all. 856 00:21:38,980 --> 00:21:40,100 [chirping] 49884

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