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1
00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:06,304
Good morning.
2
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:07,773
Nina,
3
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,441
What are you
Doing this weekend?
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,811
I don't know,
I may have plans. Why?
5
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,146
Well, I have tickets
6
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,414
To the cherrywood manor
Mystery weekend.
7
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:17,682
You know,
It's one of those
8
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,950
Interactive
Theatrical experiences.
9
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,452
Yes, I have plans.
10
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,520
Oh, come on, nina.
11
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,522
It'll be fun.
It's like a party.
12
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,490
The guests mingle
With the actors
13
00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:27,793
While sipping merlot
And eating hors d'oeuvres,
14
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,260
And then a murder
Is staged,
15
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:31,997
And we amateur sleuths
Have to try and solve it.
16
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,099
I'll go,
If you can guarantee
17
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:35,367
I'll be the first one
Murdered.
18
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,070
But the food's
Really good.
19
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,005
Are you talking
About staley's,
20
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,407
Because their onion loaf
Is to die for.
21
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,076
No, I am talking about
22
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,244
The cherrywood
Mystery weekend.
23
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:47,980
The cherrywood
Mystery weekend?
24
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:49,214
You know,
It's one of those
25
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,449
Old fashioned
Whodunits
26
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:51,717
With food and wine?
27
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,820
Oh, one of those.
28
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,454
Would your family
Like to come?
29
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,123
I hear they put
On a great show.
30
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,224
There's a show?
31
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,492
We all love
A good show.
32
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,660
So you'll come?
33
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:02,894
Well, I don't know.
34
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,229
Everybody's
Sort of busy.
35
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,131
I mean, if you
Had told us earlier,
36
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,733
Or if it were free--
37
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,234
It's my treat.
38
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,935
All right,
We're in!
39
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,288
Now, let me
Get this straight,
40
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,422
Colonel pinkham,
41
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,590
You stopped
A charging rhino
42
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,859
With nothing more
Than a stare,
43
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:34,860
And then actually
44
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,396
Wrestled it
To it's death?
45
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,865
That's exactly what I did.
46
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,934
Let me
Shake your hand.
47
00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,868
Ah.
48
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,570
Having fun,
Sweetheart?
49
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:46,972
Oh, I'm having
A wonderful time.
50
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,807
Mary, I'd like you to
Meet colonel pinkham.
51
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,075
He, he was just
Telling me
52
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,676
About his
Last hunting trip.
53
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,312
Oh, don't tell me,
Let me guess.
54
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,880
On the plains
Of the serengeti?
55
00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:59,484
Oh, you bagged yourself
A smart one there, dick.
56
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,619
Excuse me.
57
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,921
Oh, by the way,
58
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,088
Good luck.
59
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:05,590
Good luck
To you, pinkham.
60
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,698
You know, what a
Remarkable character.
61
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,501
Oh, yeah, he's good.
62
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,669
I saw him last year
In man of la mancha
63
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,671
At theater on the pier.
64
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,807
A big game hunter
And an actor?
65
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,142
My god. He's
A renaissance man.
66
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,878
Did you see the size
Of those prawns?
67
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:28,880
Thanks.
68
00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:34,953
Yeah, I just
Want one more.
69
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:37,055
So, uh, how long
Before the show, dick?
70
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,156
Oh, I hope it's not
For a while.
71
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,324
I'm meeting the most
Fascinating people,
72
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:40,559
Harry.
73
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:44,396
Dick, what kind of a
Weird-ass party is this?
74
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,730
Everyone I talk to,
75
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,498
They want to tell me
Their whole life story,
76
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,167
And then, they want
To tell me
77
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,636
Secrets about
The other guests.
78
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:52,337
Yeah, yeah,
And that guy,
79
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,206
Chip caswell,
He keeps telling me
80
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,207
About how much
He hates
81
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,109
This old dude
With the young wife,
82
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:01,913
And you know what?
He wears makeup.
83
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,383
You know what
Your problem is?
84
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,319
For the first time,
You find yourselves
85
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,786
In a civilized
Social situation
86
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,155
Where you have
To match wits
87
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,823
With intellectuals
And bon vivants,
88
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,225
And you crumble.
89
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,526
I, on the other
Hand, flourish.
90
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,798
Another drink,
Colonel?
91
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,500
Don't mind if I do.
[laughs]
92
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:23,835
[laughs]
93
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,745
Mary, you haven't
Touched your
94
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,415
Twice-baked
Cheddar chive potato.
95
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,050
Can I have it?
96
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,052
I--I'm not feeling
Too well.
97
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,754
Oh, you should talk
To my friend here,
98
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,589
Jack wallencott.
99
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,758
He tells me he's in
Excruciating pain, mary,
100
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,760
But he's not
Going to give in until
101
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,595
He gets that damned will
Of his sorted out,
102
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,796
Right, wallencott?
103
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,298
Right.
I only hope
104
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:29,834
Nothing happens
To me before I do.
105
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,272
I feel queasy and bloated,
And I'm all sweaty.
106
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,808
I've gotta
Go lie down, excuse me.
107
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,444
Yeah, well,
Uh, hurry back.
108
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,012
So, colonel pinkham,
109
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,114
Would you regale us
With another story
110
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,983
Of man against beast?
111
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:49,654
Oh, well, I once shot
An elephant in my pajamas.
112
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:50,922
Ooh.
113
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,523
Really?
Mmm.
114
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:55,793
How he got in my pajamas,
I'll never know.
115
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,228
[laughing]
116
00:04:57,230 --> 00:05:00,298
Did you leave
Your tent open?
117
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,304
A tad more wine,
Mrs. Wallencott?
118
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,706
Why, chip, I hope you're
Not trying to get me drunk
119
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,741
So you can
Take advantage of me.
120
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:12,977
Certainly not,
Mrs. Wallencott.
121
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,380
Mrs. Wallencott.
122
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,416
You are having
This conversation
123
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,885
Right in front
Of your husband.
124
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:25,623
What say we take it on down
To the drawing room,
125
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,626
And leave the pretty boy
Behind with the cheese.
126
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,668
Eames!
127
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,370
You've been my
Butler for 20 years,
128
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:40,405
You never
Remember
129
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,073
To keep my
Wine glass full.
130
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:45,276
You see how she
Bosses that guy around?
131
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,812
Yeah, and he's
The best dressed guy here.
132
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:49,748
What a wuss.
133
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:54,553
Mmm. Pathetic.
Hey, eames! More water, now!
134
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,688
[speaking british]
And uh, could you clear
135
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,456
This dirty plate, eames?
136
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,258
Very well, sir.
137
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,527
Very well, sir.
138
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,462
[glass tinkling]
139
00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:08,733
I would like
To propose a toast.
140
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,436
A toast
To my new friends.
141
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:12,637
All: hear, hear!
142
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:13,838
Ooh!
Good heavens!
143
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,840
Don't move.
144
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:19,077
[screams]
145
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,646
He's been murdered!
146
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:24,983
But by whom?
147
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,721
A trio of sorbets
148
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,091
Will be served
In the drawing room.
149
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,026
[all talk]
150
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,641
Does this mean
The show's canceled?
151
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,780
[laughing]
152
00:06:57,383 --> 00:06:59,184
Oh, this
Is horrible.
153
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,384
A man has just
Been murdered,
154
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,153
And everyone is calmly
Standing around
155
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,221
Eating sorbet.
156
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,090
Obviously,
These people
157
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,625
Have been completely
Desensitized
158
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:08,827
By all the
Gratuitous violence
159
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,896
They've seen on
Television and movies...
160
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,733
Especially
The movies.
161
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,133
So what are we
Gonna do?
162
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:17,702
We're gonna grab mary
And get out of here.
163
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:18,637
Come on.
164
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:23,574
Everybody stay exactly
Where you are.
165
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,213
Good evening,
Ladies and gentlemen,
166
00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:30,582
Please take your seats.
167
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:36,187
I am inspector macaffery
From scotland yard.
168
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,590
He got here quick.
169
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,526
No one is to leave
The premises.
170
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,628
Until further
Investigation,
171
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,598
Everyone is considered
A suspect.
172
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:49,834
Everyone?
173
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:54,105
Sh-sh-surely you
Don't mean everyone?
174
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,807
Given the right
Circumstances,
175
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,342
Anyone is capable
Of murder.
176
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,811
But not everyone.
177
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,846
Yes, everyone.
178
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,282
But not anyone.
179
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,318
Yes.
180
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:13,157
[crying]
181
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,559
There, there, milly.
182
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,694
Ooh.
183
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,929
Oh, I'm sorry.
184
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,397
Hey! Slow down there,
Buddy.
185
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,899
I'm sorry.
186
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,136
What are you,
Crazy?
187
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,971
That woman's husband
Was just murdered,
188
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,007
And you're trying
To stick your tongue
189
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,375
Down her throat?
190
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,210
Do you want to become
The prime suspect?
191
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,012
Well, why would
I be a suspect?
192
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,614
It's obvious that
Hunter guy did it.
193
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,382
How dare you!
194
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,986
My dear friend
Colonel pinkham is many things,
195
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,187
Longbow expert, marksman,
196
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:45,123
Knife and gun collector,
Actor...
197
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,292
But he is no murderer.
198
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,494
[mary retching]
199
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:52,197
Oh, my poor mary.
200
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,531
Listen,
Let's not spoil
201
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,467
Mary's
"Whodunit" weekend
202
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,035
With news of this
Heinous murder.
203
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,873
Dick...
204
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,842
You guys having fun?
205
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:04,942
All: oh, yeah.
206
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,210
Darling, yes,
207
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,612
We only wish
That you could
208
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:09,680
Join in
All the gaiety.
209
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:10,915
How are
You feeling?
210
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,283
I feel awful.
211
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,986
I've been throwing up
For hours.
212
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,355
Did anyone else
Eat the prawns?
213
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,556
All: no.
214
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,291
It must
Be food poisoning.
215
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:23,828
Oh, my god, mary!
216
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,330
You've been poisoned!
217
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:26,664
Who has done this
To you?
218
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,200
Who? Who? Who?
Who? Who? Who?
219
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,206
[door slams closed]
220
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,274
Oh, my god.
221
00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:38,442
If they can
Get to albright,
222
00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:39,677
Then none of us
Is safe.
223
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,680
Uh!
224
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,785
Oh, sorry.
I'm ok.
225
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:47,719
Uh!
226
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:08,105
So, inspector,
Any breakthroughs?
227
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:11,776
No, but the game's afoot,
I dare say.
228
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,611
You know, I could
Assist you in all this.
229
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,945
What if
We collected
230
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,614
Some bits of
Physical evidence?
231
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,848
Uh-huh?
232
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:20,285
You know, cigar butts,
Lipstick stains,
233
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,352
A monogrammed lighter,
234
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,453
A monogrammed
Handkerchief,
235
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,155
A monogrammed towel,
A monogrammed shirt,
236
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:27,858
Anything monogrammed
Would be really good.
237
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:31,028
Right, well, let's not
Get overeager, hmm?
238
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,630
Why don't you sit back
239
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,033
And take in the events
As they unfold?
240
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,802
But there's
A murderer among us!
241
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,738
Yes, and he'll
Be among us all weekend.
242
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,675
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I must phone scotland yard.
243
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,314
That inspector
244
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,115
Is appallingly
Lackadaisical.
245
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:52,116
Look, maybe I'd
246
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,484
Better just
Call don.
247
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,520
Yeah, we need some
Rutherford blue on our side,
248
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,755
But until then--
And I know
249
00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,857
This might sound
A bit unorthodox--
250
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:02,760
I think we need to do
Some sleuthing on our own.
251
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:03,861
Are you saying
That we should
252
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,563
Try to solve the
Murder ourselves?
253
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:06,597
At a party?
254
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:07,598
Exactly.
255
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,467
Someone may have
Had the motive.
256
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,903
Someone may have had
The opportunity.
257
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,272
My god, if they
Had both!
258
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,341
I'd better go confer
With my dear friend,
259
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,408
The colonel.
260
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,578
Ok, this might
Sound crazy, right,
261
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,413
But what
If eames did it?
262
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:25,583
You think
The butler did it?
263
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:28,319
Well, that's a little
Far-fetched.
264
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,554
Well,
Think about it.
265
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,589
Who gave albright
The poison prawns?
266
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,024
Uh-oh...
267
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,627
Tommy...
268
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:39,763
You haven't been
Very nice to eames.
269
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,934
No, you picked
On him first.
270
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,669
I'm a teenager,
I couldn't resist.
271
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,638
Whatever. Look,
Harry, come on.
272
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,239
Let's go find a
Phone and call don.
273
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,416
Ah!
274
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,851
Eames. Hi, man,
How are you doing?
275
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,721
Listen, you got
A first name?
276
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,393
Eames.
277
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,595
You and me, eames,
Uh, we're cool, right?
278
00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,231
No, sir.
279
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:17,702
Colonel pinkham,
We need your help.
280
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,737
This inspector has some
Agenda of his own
281
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,238
That I don't
Understand.
282
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,239
I think--
283
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,108
[gasps]
284
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,109
Colonel?
285
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,879
[gagging]
Colonel?
286
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,547
[screams]
287
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,650
He's dead!
288
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:33,917
My dear friend
Colonel pinkham
289
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,286
Has been murdered!
290
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,455
A selection
Of domestic ports
291
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,324
Will be served
In the foyer.
292
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:48,933
That's it!
293
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,135
I'm not staying
For the show.
294
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,509
Inspector.
295
00:12:57,511 --> 00:12:58,876
Yeah?
296
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,178
Oh, hello!
297
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:03,013
Just enjoying
A little sustenance.
298
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:05,450
This case is
A particularly taxing one.
299
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,352
Another man
Has been murdered.
300
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:08,986
Already?
301
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:11,756
Oh! Sorry.
302
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,791
Sorry? Because
Of your laxity,
303
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,893
A man is dead!
304
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:16,961
Maybe that lazy
305
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,195
Pip-pip-cheerio
Attitude
306
00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:19,864
Flies in foggy
Old london town,
307
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,599
But you're in ohio
Now, guv'nah!
308
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:27,438
Listen, I've done
A thousand of these.
309
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,674
Calm down, sit back,
Enjoy it.
310
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:33,278
Enjoy it?
That's it.
311
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,779
I'm taking over
This investigation.
312
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,248
Give me
That police blotter.
313
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,384
Casting call?
314
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,519
This is for actors.
315
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,689
What do you
Want from me?
316
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,591
I'll tell
You something,
Macaffery,
317
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,092
Maybe you
Should try acting
318
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,795
Because
You're a damned
Awful inspector!
319
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,205
Hello, mary.
320
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,807
I brought you
Some crackers.
321
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,008
They're sealed,
322
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,176
So I think
They're safe.
323
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,178
Thanks.
324
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,181
I'm just so glad
You're not...
325
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,483
Dead.
326
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:15,820
That would be ironic,
Wouldn't it?
327
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,690
Mary, I haven't been
Completely honest
With you.
328
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,924
Something's
Happened.
329
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,895
2 people
Have been murdered.
330
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:26,231
Oh, no.
331
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,401
You don't sound
Very concerned,
332
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,637
I said,
2 people, murdered.
333
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:36,540
2 people, and I've been
Up here, sick.
334
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,609
So you have.
335
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,945
It's been awful.
336
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,113
You have been
Up here
337
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,282
The whole time,
Right?
338
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,352
When you have food poisoning,
You can't move.
339
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:48,586
Everybody knows that.
340
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,356
Yes, everybody
Knows that.
341
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,729
What kind of crackers
Are these?
342
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,330
Garlic
And sour cream.
343
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,501
Mary!
344
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,739
Ok, tommy,
345
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,740
I gotta
Stay up here
346
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,075
And guard
Albright's door.
347
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,677
You go downstairs
And wait for don,
348
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,913
And don't tell anyone
What you're doing.
349
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,249
Ok, um, could you
Take that candle
350
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,517
Away from your face?
351
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,320
It sort of makes you
Look like a monster.
352
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,888
Ooh!
353
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,757
All right,
That's not funny.
354
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,758
Ok, I've got issues
With eames, and--
355
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,759
Come on, tommy.
356
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,094
You can
Get through this.
357
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,262
We've been through
Tougher things
358
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,396
Than this before.
359
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:33,831
You're right.
360
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:34,832
Ok.
We have.
361
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:35,833
Damn right,
We have.
362
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:36,834
Yeah!
Ok!
363
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:37,835
All right!
[gunshot]
364
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,936
Both: aah!
365
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,104
Hey, I'm sorry,
366
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,572
I thought that the trigger
Was the safety.
367
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,607
Oh, god, don,
Thank god you're here.
368
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,975
What's wrong?
369
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,177
Unspeakable things
Have been happening
370
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,311
In this house, don.
371
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,047
Well, I'm sure
It's nothing
372
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,982
This police officer
Hasn't seen before, son.
373
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,683
This old guy
In a wheelchair
374
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,051
Got a knife stuck
In his back,
375
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,154
And he croaked
Right in front of us.
376
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:59,890
I've never seen
That before.
377
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,626
And then,
Somebody put poison
378
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,760
In this safari guy's
Drink,
379
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,428
And he just fell dead,
Right out of his chair.
380
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,130
And he was, like...
[screams]
381
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,365
2 guys were killed?
382
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:10,134
I'd better get backup.
You hang tight.
383
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,469
No, no, no.
384
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,705
Don't let anybody
See you, baby.
385
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,673
They could
Kill you, too.
386
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:16,673
Aw, jeez.
387
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,809
Aah!
388
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,810
[grunting]
389
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:20,811
I just saw don.
390
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,812
He's going
For backup.
391
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,813
Good.
392
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,114
Because I think
I'm on the verge
393
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,350
Of blowing this case
Wide open. Follow me!
394
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:33,891
Aha! Fingerprints
On the mantle,
395
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:37,562
But whose prints
Could they be?
396
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:41,432
Who was last seen
Alone in this room?
397
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,835
[clock chimes]
398
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:47,638
Alas, that concludes
Tonight's chapter,
399
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,340
Ladies and gentlemen,
Thank you.
400
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,375
Man: bravo!
[all applaud]
401
00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:53,577
Inspector:
Pleasant dreams.
402
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,646
Not so fast!
403
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,649
No one goes to sleep
Just yet, inspector.
404
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,752
Oh, for crying
Out loud.
405
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:06,157
Everybody sit their evil
Little butts back down, now!
406
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,691
Thanks.
407
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:08,759
Ladies and gentlemen,
408
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,928
Dr. Solomon is about
To address you all.
409
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,563
Please hold
All comments
410
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,232
Until he has finished
His summation.
411
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:15,666
Thank you, harry.
412
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:19,804
These are the facts,
As we know them.
413
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,039
During dinner,
Jack wallencott
414
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,009
Dropped dead
Into his potato,
415
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,812
A hunting knife protruding
From his back.
416
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,914
Hours later, my dear friend
Colonel pinkham
417
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,582
Was found
Poisoned to death
418
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,384
In his favorite
Wingback chair.
419
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,286
Dick,
Come to bed.
420
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,054
Quiet, mary,
I'm summing up.
421
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,923
But it's only
Friday.
422
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:41,391
Shut it!
423
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,293
Who is responsible?
424
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:44,795
Ooh! Mrs. Wallencott.
425
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,530
Oh, lord.
426
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,665
Silence!
427
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:51,535
One hour ago,
I was rifling
428
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,504
Through mrs. Runquist's
Suitcase.
429
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,340
How dare you go
Through my things?
430
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:58,876
How dare you own
A leopard thong?
431
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,081
And while I was
Contemplating that thong,
432
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:07,018
I wondered...
433
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:10,021
Who is the person
That we would least suspect
434
00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:11,922
Of poisoning the colonel?
435
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,191
Will you sit down?
436
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:17,394
You're stealing my part.
I get to do this.
437
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,729
How many more people
Have to die
438
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:20,430
Because of your
Incompetence?
439
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:24,068
I do the summation
After brunch, every sunday.
440
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,636
Read the damn brochure!
441
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,937
No!
442
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,440
The least
Likely suspect
443
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,476
Is the person...
444
00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:35,012
Who, herself,
Was poisoned,
445
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,547
But poisoned
Only to the extent
446
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:37,949
That she lay sick
In her room,
447
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,116
Above suspicion,
448
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,384
Away from the crowd,
The perfect dose.
449
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,186
And who knows
More about poisons
450
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,856
Than
An anthropologist?
451
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:47,091
A toxicologist? Yes.
452
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,627
But forget
I just said that.
453
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,829
That leads nowhere.
454
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:56,133
No! Mary albright
Killed jack wallencott
455
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,969
And then in a fever
Of vengefulness,
456
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,636
She killed
My dear friend,
457
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,038
Colonel pinkham.
458
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,773
What the--
459
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,475
Yes, mary.
460
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,810
I could tell
Immediately
461
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,211
You were jealous.
462
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,947
You never expected
The colonel and me
463
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,515
To forge
Such a bond...
464
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,585
And if you
Couldn't have me,
465
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,553
No one else could.
466
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,857
You can't accuse
Me of murder,
467
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,925
You can only accuse
The actors.
468
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:26,497
And which actors
Would those be, mary?
469
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,333
If you had hips the size
Of that blonde woman,
470
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,634
Would you be
Wearing that skirt?
471
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:31,669
Oh, darling, please.
472
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:32,836
I wouldn't even
Leave the house.
473
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,405
Ooh.
474
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:39,076
Colonel.
You're alive.
475
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:40,745
And mr. Wallencott,
You...
476
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:41,912
You can walk!
477
00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:46,717
Dick: wait a minute,
478
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:50,321
You only pretended to die.
479
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,690
None of this is real.
480
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,359
This is all a scam!
481
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,994
No, wait...
482
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,863
You're all actors.
483
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,665
This is the show, right?
484
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:11,142
Well, you were
All marvelous.
485
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,543
And you, sir,
486
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,378
Are the reason
I want to leave acting,
487
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,747
And return
To my first passion,
488
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:17,882
Drink!
489
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,655
Mary?
490
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,056
I--I never
Really believed
491
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,691
That you were
The murderer,
492
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,527
Especially
Once I found out
493
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,028
That everybody here
Was an actor,
494
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,263
That's when
It really hit me.
495
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,464
[bang]
496
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:34,865
Hut, hut,
Hut, hut, hut!
497
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:37,100
Freeze! Everybody down
On the floor!
498
00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:38,435
Down on the floor!
499
00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,203
You! Show me
The bodies!
500
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,939
Now! Go, go,
Go, go, go!
501
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:45,275
Sally: don! Don! Hon.
502
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,414
Is this one of those
Murder mystery things?
503
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,851
Well, yaah.
504
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,120
Rico, hold the gas!
505
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:58,121
Aah!
The gas!
506
00:20:58,123 --> 00:20:59,123
[all scream]
507
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:01,425
[don screaming]
508
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,299
I don't get it.
509
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:12,169
For free, murder
Is a horrible tragedy,
510
00:21:12,171 --> 00:21:13,804
But you charge
100 bucks for it,
511
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,506
And suddenly, it's
A sophisticated night out.
512
00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:17,641
But it's
Inappropriate
513
00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:19,176
For kids.
514
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:21,511
This world does need
More entertainment
515
00:21:21,513 --> 00:21:23,147
That's acceptable
For children.
516
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,314
Something
Where people
517
00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:25,482
Are nice
To each other.
518
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:26,817
Something
Where people
519
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,286
Can just love
One another.
520
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,287
They have that.
521
00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:30,487
It's called
Pornography.
522
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:33,523
Then that's what kids
523
00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:34,958
Should watch.
36829
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