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1
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,906
Uh, excuse me.
2
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,742
I'm looking
For something light
And understated,
3
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,411
Yet capable of
Catapulting me back
4
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,913
Into the snowy bosom
Of my true love.
5
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,149
Ah. Chardonnay
Beaulieu?
6
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,716
Uh, no. Mary albright.
7
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,520
I'll look around for you.
8
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:25,056
Uh, be sure
It goes with ham.
9
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,891
Better check
The bottle, dick.
10
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,795
Some of this stuff's
Over a year old.
11
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,562
Oh, dick,
This is so nice.
12
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,799
Planning a surprise
Romantic encounter
13
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,567
For someone who
Hates your guts.
14
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,102
That's where
You're wrong, tommy.
15
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,638
Mary admitted that
She still has feelings
For me,
16
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,373
Which is why
I must act quickly
17
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,975
To regain
Her love and trust--
18
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,645
Excuse me! Do you
Carry spanish fly?
19
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,715
God, dick.
Why don't you just grab
Some microwave burritos
20
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,552
And a couple of tall boys
And go for it?
21
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,921
You don't know
The first thing
About entertaining.
22
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:59,525
Yeah. First ya gotta
Get some friends.
23
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:02,928
Yeah.
Good luck with that,
Miss personality.
24
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,964
Shut up, butt rash.
I'm workin' on it.
25
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,833
Oh,
How I miss the days
26
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,001
Of furtive looks
Across the office,
27
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,504
Passing notes
In faculty meetings.
28
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,506
Oh, and the groping
Was always nice.
29
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,809
If things were so great,
Why were you making
Our lives miserable
30
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,577
With your constant
Whining and complaining?
31
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,579
[whining] Was not!
32
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,047
Was so!
Was so!
33
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,515
Well, if I did,
34
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,383
It was probably
Because I was filled
With so much bliss,
35
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,352
I didn't know
Where to shove it.
36
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,956
Trust me, after my
Romantic overtures,
37
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,291
Our toothbrushes
Will be hanging
38
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:35,193
Bristle to bristle
By morning.
39
00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:40,799
I say he's home by 7:00
With that toothbrush
In his eye socket.
40
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:27,145
Ooh. Look at
The studious schoolgirl,
41
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,248
All alone up
In the rare books room.
42
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,383
Well, I'm the big, bad
Professor,
43
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:35,120
And I'm disappointed
In your grades!
44
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,322
Not now. I'm in a rush.
45
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:41,359
I'm just kidding, mary.
Actually, it's me--dick.
46
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:44,128
Uh, dick, are you here
For a reason?
47
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,630
I'm here because, well,
48
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,767
Remember how you said
That you still had
Feelings for me?
49
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:53,371
Oh, I knew that would
Come back and bite me
In the ass.
50
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:57,776
I thought I would act
On those feelings
And whisk you away
51
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,778
For a romantic interlude.
52
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:03,848
But first,
A getting-to-re-know-you
Champagne toast
53
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,052
And then we'll hike
Over to the reservoir
For a moonlit picnic.
54
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,787
I have plans!
55
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,223
You think I'm gonna
Drop everything
For a little champagne?
56
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,725
Not a little...A lot.
57
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,461
I don't have time.
58
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,831
It's not that easy
To erase the past.
59
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,733
Well, why would you
Want to erase the past?
60
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,235
Think back, mary.
61
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,569
Don't you remember
The romance?
62
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,904
The laughter?
The fighting?
63
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:26,905
The screaming?
64
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,640
The endless nights
Of lovemaking?
65
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,209
The endless parade
Of humiliations,
66
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,146
Interspersed with
Random acts of insanity!
67
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,455
It's after 7:00. They've
Turned the elevators off.
68
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,890
I'll have to walk
Down the stairs.
69
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,159
Oh, no!
70
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:51,396
Oh, we're locked in!
71
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,464
We could be here
All night!
72
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,065
All alone!
Just the two of us!
73
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,236
We're locked in.
74
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,571
We could be here
All night.
75
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,406
All alone,
Just the two of us.
76
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,843
Noooo!
77
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,649
Hey. What's goin' on?
78
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,318
Oh, we're getting
Ready to console dick.
79
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,520
He's gonna be devastated
Once albright
Gives him the boot.
80
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,555
Yeah. Poor bastard.
81
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,526
Well, he should have
Been home by now.
82
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,762
I mean, I've been rejected
By lots of girls.
83
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,563
It only takes a minute.
84
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,499
God, do you think something
Terrible happened to him?
85
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,767
Well, she probably
Just took him back.
86
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,668
That's what I meant!
We've gotta stop him!
87
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:33,605
He could be
Hanging his toothbrush
At her house right now.
88
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,639
Let's go!
89
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,743
Don't you think we're being
Kind of selfish here?
90
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:39,744
No.
91
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,679
Let's go!
92
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,585
What the hell
Are you doing?
93
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,288
I'm looking for a secret
Passageway out of here.
94
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,358
But be ready. We might
Encounter a nazi.
95
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,194
Or even a mummy!
96
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,562
Dick,
You got us into this.
97
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,264
You could at least do
Something constructive!
98
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,398
Yeah. All right.
99
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,966
All right.
100
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,768
Hello-oooh!
101
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,103
[echo] Hello-oooh!
102
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,672
You see?! There are
Other people here!
103
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,508
We're trapped!
104
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,843
[echo] We're trapped!
105
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,812
Great! They're trapped,
Too.
106
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,017
Every man for himself.
107
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,785
I don't believe this.
108
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,287
Oh, come on, mary.
109
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,589
We'll just have to wait
Till they rescue us
Tomorrow morning.
110
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,357
The library's
Closed tomorrow.
111
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,393
The library's
Closed on saturday?
112
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:35,500
Dick, this is not
A good school!
113
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,370
Wait a minute. I'm having
A tupperware party tomorrow,
And nina's gonna be there.
114
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,373
She'll put 2 and 2 together
When she realizes
I'm not there,
115
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,507
And she'll come get me!
116
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,507
And me?!
117
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:44,443
Whatever.
118
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:50,114
Well...That's a cause
For celebration.
119
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,149
[light bulb shatters]
120
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,260
How romantic.
121
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,262
Pour the damn champagne!
122
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,504
[pounding on door]
Sally: open up, dick!
123
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,138
We're not gonna
Let you do this!
124
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,979
Hello?
125
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,547
Ok. Spread out.
I'll check upstairs.
126
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,614
I'll check the basement.
127
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:24,649
There is no basement.
128
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,018
Ah.
Then my work is done.
129
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,954
I'm on a 5, people.
130
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,725
There's nothing down here!
131
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,628
Sally: oh! Oh, my god!
132
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,663
What, did you
Walk in on them?
133
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,799
No. I think I just ate
A bath oil bead!
134
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:45,836
Hey, does anybody remember
Albright having little,
Tiny hands?
135
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,472
No, not really. Why?
136
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,774
Well, look at the size
Of these sandwiches.
137
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:53,311
Her whole refrigerator is
Full of trays of tiny food.
138
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:56,848
Wow. I bet I could fit,
Like, 12 of those
In my mouth at once.
139
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,183
I'll take that bet.
140
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,117
I'm in.
141
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,855
Both, chanting:
Do it! Go! Go! Go! Go!
142
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,827
Well,
Things could be worse.
143
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,929
I mean,
If I'm going to be
Trapped with someone,
144
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,764
I'm sure glad it's you.
145
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,265
At least with you,
146
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,200
I know that, no matter
How hungry you get,
147
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,971
I'm not going to wake up
To find you gnawing
At my leg.
148
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,846
Right, mary?
149
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,050
I'm beginning to think
You planned this all along.
150
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:37,488
Actually, my plan was
For us to be doing it
Right now.
151
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:40,458
Under a pine tree
By the reservoir.
152
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,659
On the ground?!
153
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,728
Not on the ground.
154
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,196
I brought newspaper.
155
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:51,302
Entertainment section,
Mary.
156
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,470
That's you.
157
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,808
Wow. Albright's got
Such cool stuff.
158
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,010
I wonder how come she never
Invites me over.
159
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,750
Because you're
A freakin' moose,
That's why.
160
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,887
Hey! You guys gotta try
161
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,922
This electric ear swab!
162
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:18,129
Oh! They're back! Ok!
Pretend we just got here!
163
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:26,804
Ass right there,
Freezehole!
164
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,007
Don, what are
You doing here?
165
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,043
Albright's silent alarm
Went off.
166
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,679
Well, I didn't
Hear anything.
167
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,381
We thought there
Might be a break-in.
168
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,584
Well, no one's broken in
Since we broke in.
169
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,752
You broke in?
170
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,921
What, do you think
Albright gave us the key?
171
00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,457
B-but breaking and entering,
That's a crime.
172
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,093
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
173
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:51,229
You shouldn't be here!
I should arrest you!
174
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,663
Oh, come on, don.
175
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,565
Can't you look
The other way
Just this once?
176
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:55,934
No, I'm afraid
I can't, sally.
177
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,502
I--well,
Just this once.
178
00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:01,072
But...You can't
Stay here!
179
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,874
We'll leave
Right away, don.
Thanks.
180
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,411
It's ok, rico!
It was just a...Raccoon.
181
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:08,813
Ok, you guys,
You heard him.
182
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:09,814
We gotta get
Outta here.
183
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,816
Whoa! Check out
Pay per view!
184
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:12,817
Oh, what's on?
185
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:13,985
I don't know.
Sounds good.
186
00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:22,393
[drunkenly] I remember
The first time I saw you.
187
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,596
You walked in like...
188
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:27,899
Cock of the walk.
189
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:31,836
You knew what you wanted,
And you took it!
190
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,405
Just like a cat takes...
191
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,808
What does a cat take?
192
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:37,809
Cat food?
193
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:38,943
That's it.
194
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:43,314
Ha...Ha...Ha...Ha...
195
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:47,919
[drunkenly] I remember
When I first saw you,
Mary albright.
196
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:54,892
I thought you were
A fireball.
197
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:58,162
You sure have my number.
198
00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,163
I know.
199
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,099
I stole it
From nina's rolodex.
200
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:07,272
I have a confession
To make.
201
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,040
I was the one who kept
Calling and saying,
202
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,443
"Hello, fireball."
203
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:20,118
I knew it was you
All along!
204
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,289
I'll tell you one thing.
205
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,491
What?
206
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,026
I made you earn it.
207
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:31,796
That's mary albright!
208
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:35,467
I don't just
Give it away.
209
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:37,235
Anymore.
210
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,174
Hey, morning.
211
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,609
Oh, man...
212
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,177
What did I miss?
213
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:50,615
We watched
beastmaster's revenge
3 more times.
214
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,850
And you didn't wake me up?!
215
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,619
Well, what's on next?
216
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,620
english patient.
217
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,723
Yeah, me, too.
Oh, I'm out.
Yeah.
218
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:00,692
[doorbell rings]
219
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:03,094
Get back!
Take your positions!
220
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,929
Wait a minute.
I don't think it's them.
221
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:05,997
What makes you so sure?
222
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,632
Why would she ring
Her own doorbell?
223
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,766
Good thinking.
224
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:15,339
Hi. You must be
Mary albright.
225
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,508
Uh...Yeah. Sure.
226
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,277
Otherwise, I'd be
This person who broke in
And was hanging around,
227
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,413
Even though the police
Told me to leave, so...
228
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:26,017
I'm suzy martin...
From tupperware?
229
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,719
So, mary, today's
Your big party, huh?
230
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:29,954
My party?
231
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,923
Yeah. I have all
Your display items
Out in the car.
232
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,892
Well, say,
You're a big fella.
233
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,359
Want to give me a hand?
234
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,162
Hey, mary, remember,
It's your party,
235
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,832
And you can coast,
Or you can host.
236
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:41,966
Let's go.
237
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,937
This is odd.
238
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,275
Tommy, do you know
What this means?
239
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,109
No, mary. What?
240
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,179
I'm hosting
My first party.
241
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,885
[barking]
242
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,325
Wake up.
243
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,360
Wake up!
244
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:10,361
Oh...
245
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,362
Huh?
246
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,530
Dick...
247
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,531
Did we...
248
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,599
Did we what?
249
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,033
You know.
250
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,535
I-I'm not sure.
251
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:18,603
I think we did!
252
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,004
I'm not sure.
You do?
253
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,506
Maybe we did!
254
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,507
Hey!
Ooh!
255
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,508
You know what
This means?!
256
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,508
No!
We're back together!
257
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,244
Just you
And me, kid!
No.
258
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,278
No!
We're an item!
259
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,213
Noo! Noo!
260
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:30,681
Somebody get me
Out of here!
261
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:43,061
Dick, I want to make myself
Perfectly clear.
262
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,063
We are not together again.
263
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:47,798
Whatever happened
Last night...
264
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,101
If it did...
265
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,002
Shouldn't have!
266
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:56,374
Well, I just want to say
That if it did happen...
267
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,477
It was glorious.
268
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,145
How do I let these things
Happen to me?!
269
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:03,181
Why are you resisting,
Mary?!
270
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,815
We've always been
Great together.
271
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:07,885
Were we even
In the same relationship?!
272
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:10,721
I mean, every time I think
I have a handle on you,
273
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,923
You spring
A new and disturbing
Surprise on me!
274
00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:15,226
You noticed?
275
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:19,097
Come on. Maybe we can
Find something heavy
To break the lock.
276
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,599
Oh, look!
There's an air vent!
277
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,767
Yes, and there's a lamp.
278
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,635
Let's try to stay
Focused, mary.
279
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,505
It might lead somewhere.
It's worth a try.
280
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,641
Ah, my brave
Little mary.
281
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,476
You're magnificent.
You know that.
282
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:35,079
I won't try
To stop you. No, no.
283
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:36,948
No, you wouldn't
Want me to.
284
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:40,218
That's
The adventurous spirit
And intrepid pluck
285
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,419
That I've--
Get in the vent!
286
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,394
Dick: oh, god!
287
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:54,299
Ow. Ow! Ow! Ooh!
288
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:55,800
Come on, mary.
289
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,302
I made it.
290
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,803
You can do it.
291
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,971
Come on. Rappel.
Rappel.
292
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,279
You are such a fool!
293
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,149
Need I remind you
That it was this fool
294
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:15,853
Who suggested that
We use your pantyhose
As a lifeline?
295
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,022
Let's just get
Out of here.
296
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,727
Oh! Oh...
297
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,628
Mother of...Pearl!
298
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:25,629
[crying]
299
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,865
Don't lose hope, mary.
300
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,867
If you cry, I'll cry,
301
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,137
And--and--and who'll
Stop me from crying?!
302
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,673
Oh, don't try
To hug me!
303
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:38,576
I'm not. There's
A big, dead spider
In your hair.
304
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:39,944
Waaaahhh!
305
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,515
I told a lie.
He's still alive.
306
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,749
Waaahh!
307
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,791
Hey, tommy.
308
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,793
Where's dr. Albright?
309
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,294
Well, we're not sure,
310
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:59,930
But we think she's
Having sex with dick.
311
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,266
Oh, my god!
What is she thinking?
312
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:04,168
What's she thinking?
What's he thinking?
313
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,503
Ok. Can we just agree
That they're both
Idiots?
314
00:15:06,505 --> 00:15:08,205
Yeah!
315
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:12,176
So nobody noticed
That dr. Albright
Isn't here?
316
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,511
Oh, well, we didn't
Want to spoil the mood,
317
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:16,513
So we told them all
That her parents died.
318
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,816
Well, maybe I ought
To help out.
319
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,285
Uh...No,
That won't be necessary.
320
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,921
Ladies, I've got chills.
321
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,190
If you like
The carrot keeper,
322
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:30,027
You'll think this next item
Is the cat's whiskers!
323
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:33,397
I give to you
The super snack tube!
324
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:34,398
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
325
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,100
I know! I know!
326
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,601
This slick little number
327
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,703
Was designed for you moms
With little ones
328
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,538
Whose mouths
Always need feedin'.
329
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,142
Hungry kids?
Hey, no problem!
330
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:47,145
Car, park, or pool,
You'll always be ready.
331
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,282
I'm no mom,
But I've got a mouth,
And I want one!
332
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,984
Oh, put me down for 2!
333
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,252
Ooh! You know what I smell?
[sniffs]
334
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,720
A bargain!
And I'm gonna go get it.
335
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,292
What is this place, anyway?
336
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,928
I think it's
The chancellor's
Ballroom.
337
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,797
No...I don't.
338
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,200
I think it's some kind
Of a storage closet.
339
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,904
Hardy boys novels...
340
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:17,575
Updated textbooks--
Why don't they just
Throw this junk out?
341
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,878
Well, I'll just throw out
These hardy boys books.
342
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,850
Oh, my god!
343
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,818
This is my thesis!
344
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,220
I spent 2 years
Of my life writing this,
345
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:31,755
And they keep it
In here?!
346
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:34,625
Well, then, this must
Be the archives!
347
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:40,230
It's in the bottom
Of a boxed marked
"Sugar puffs"!
348
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,600
This was good, damn it!
349
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,335
And they keep it
In here?
350
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:49,473
Oh, and look!
In 15 years,
It was checked out once!
351
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:51,108
Once...
352
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,609
I'm so sorry, mary.
353
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:55,946
I don't know what to say.
354
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,148
Champagne?
355
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:00,985
Thanks for having me,
Sally.
356
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,386
It was a great party.
357
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,721
It was a hoot,
Wasn't it? Bye-bye.
358
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:07,958
Look at all this loot!
359
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,463
I know. I must say,
I love my new chip sombrero.
360
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,265
Hold on there, compadre.
361
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:19,871
I called dibs
On the chip sombrero
A half-hour ago,
362
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:23,340
Along with
The hamburger hopper.
363
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,743
Hamburger hopper?
Everyone knows that goes
With the bun hutch,
364
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,144
And you ain't
Gettin' that.
365
00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:30,848
Wait. The bun hutch is in
The countertop collection.
366
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,383
my countertop collection!
367
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,685
Well, now you're
Talkin' crazy.
368
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,686
Shut up!
369
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,187
Enough! You know what?
370
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:38,255
It was my party.
I'm calling the shots.
371
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,524
We helped!
Oh, we helped!
372
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:42,693
I carried this baby
On my back!
373
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,862
I threw the tupperware party
Of the season!
374
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:49,466
I'm the one who decides
Who gets what, and nobody
Touches nothin'!
375
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:52,536
No, sally.
That ain't right.
376
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,772
We were all
In this together!
377
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:58,242
Partners! Equal partners,
Equal shares!
378
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,243
Just cool down here.
379
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,245
Why don't you guys
Go in the kitchen
380
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,646
And get yourself
Something to eat?
381
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,816
Oh, you'd like that,
Wouldn't ya?
382
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,750
And when we get back,
What do ya know?
383
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,984
The bun hutch is gone!
384
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:09,587
Hey, hey,
Wait a minute!
385
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,154
I wouldn't
Do ya like that.
386
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:14,258
I just thought maybe
You'd like some
Mini pizza bagels.
387
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,960
Bagels?
388
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,494
Bagels?!
389
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:20,931
We don't need
No stinking bagels!
390
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,113
Wow.
391
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,981
I know. 3 in a row.
392
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,450
Damn!
393
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:44,788
When I wrote this, I was
So young and ambitious.
394
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,558
I was so full of dreams.
395
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,260
And you know what else?
396
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:52,596
I was so full of crap!
397
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:55,099
This is what
I thought was good?!
398
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,366
This belongs in here!
399
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,368
It belongs
In the garbage!
400
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,437
Oh, I know how you feel.
401
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,105
Oh, you can't know
How I feel!
402
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:05,042
I know what it's like
To be betrayed
By your memories.
403
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:08,946
I remembered
Our relationship
As being all rosy,
404
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,449
But it turns out it was
One long nightmare.
405
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,923
It wasn't all bad.
406
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:22,960
A lot of it was, but...
407
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,828
Some of it was ok.
408
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,330
You mean it?
409
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,366
Yeah.
410
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:32,169
Well, what you wrote
About the mayan subculture
In chapter 11
411
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,770
Was really wonderful.
412
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,973
You read my thesis.
413
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,442
You're the one
Who checked it out!
414
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,444
Of course I was.
415
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,146
I even kept it
An extra week.
416
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:45,049
I got $3.00 in fines.
417
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:46,050
Then you liked it?
418
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:47,552
Yeah, it was good.
419
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:51,054
Maybe not $3.00 good,
But good.
420
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:54,225
So it was you.
421
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,293
What a nice surprise.
422
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,295
You see?
423
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:02,132
It isn't so bad being
Stuck here with me, is it?
424
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,567
I guess not.
425
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,473
What's that smell?
426
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,678
Oh, I was afraid
We'd get lost,
427
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,480
So I left a trail
Of blue cheese
In the vent,
428
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,949
And I guess the heater
Just kicked in.
429
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,518
Oh! [gagging]
430
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,253
Champagne?
431
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,864
Wild weekend, huh?
432
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,533
We were in the library.
433
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,434
Mmm. Is that so?
434
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:38,936
Yes, as a matter
Of fact, it is.
435
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,738
We were locked in
The whole time.
436
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,939
Look, I don't need to know.
437
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,974
What you do on the weekend
Is your business.
438
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,044
Which was spend it locked
In the library.
439
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,046
Uh-huh, and is that
440
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,848
Why you smell like
Cheap champagne?
441
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:55,519
It may have been cheap,
But there was
Lots of it.
442
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:56,820
Whatever.
443
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,322
Nina, cancel my classes.
444
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,857
I'm going to spend
About 6 hours in the tub.
445
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,693
So does this mean
That the two of you--
446
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:06,063
I don't know
What this means.
447
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,765
All I know is
That this weekend
448
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,333
Made me realize
A few things,
449
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:13,637
And I've got to admit,
He is charming in his way.
450
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:16,674
In his way?
451
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,275
Well, he's full
Of surprises,
452
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,043
And as much as I thought
I'd hate that,
453
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,580
I guess it's fun
To be surprised.
454
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,753
Oh, uh,
By the way, nina,
I'm going to class.
455
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:31,689
See if you can beat
The cheese stink out
Of these pants.
456
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,628
Surprise!
457
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,364
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
458
00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:45,502
Well, I don't understand
These charges.
459
00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:51,108
I did not watch
beastmaster's revenge
4 times.
460
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:54,044
I don't even know
What a beastmaster is!
461
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,949
Well, that does
Sound intriguing,
462
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,718
But I didn't order it.
463
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:08,059
And what is ultimate warrior bloodbath '98?
464
00:22:08,061 --> 00:22:11,161
Oh, wait. I did order that.
34438
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