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1
00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:08,007
Come on.
Big money. Big money!
2
00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,508
Harry, where were you?
3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,510
You were supposed
To pick me up from work.
4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,979
Yes, I was.
Free spin! Free spin!
5
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,481
I had to walk.
6
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,783
I'm soaking wet!
Look at me!
7
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:21,219
Dick, would you
Like to buy a vowel?
8
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:23,955
What are you doing,
Sally?
9
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,957
Oh, I'm looking
For an office job.
10
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,227
I bought a new suit,
And I need a place
To wear it.
11
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,561
♪ fortune ♪
12
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:32,630
♪ you're my
wheel of fortune ♪
13
00:00:32,632 --> 00:00:33,965
♪ the appeal of fortune ♪
14
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,867
♪ is sublime ♪
15
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,639
Um, tommy,
I'm meeting kevin
At the mall.
16
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,640
Do you want
To come along?
17
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:42,808
Yeah!
18
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:43,975
Yeah. That'd be great!
19
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,978
Me, my old girlfriend,
Her new boyfriend,
20
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,479
Cruisin' the food court,
Hangin' out,
21
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:49,981
Splittin' a hot pretzel.
22
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,083
No.
23
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,951
You are so immature.
24
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:55,721
Oh, really, august,
And how old are you?
25
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,722
I'm not talking
About age, tommy.
26
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,291
I'm talking
About maturity.
27
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,492
Oh, maturity. I see.
28
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,926
Well, tell me, august.
29
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,961
Who's the one
Who wants to hang out
At the mall, hmm?!
30
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,530
Your son is impossible.
31
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,966
I completely agree.
32
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:10,669
He doesn't get that
Girls mature faster,
And that women--
33
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,570
Blah, blah, blah.
You made your point.
34
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,305
I said I agreed.
Now get out!
35
00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:22,780
Why do you insist
On hanging out
With teenagers?
36
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,782
It's not my fault.
I don't have any choice.
37
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:27,285
This was the body
You assigned me.
It's pathetic.
38
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,688
I'm older than any of you,
But if I want to see
An r-rated movie,
39
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:33,291
I have to go
With mrs. Dubcek.
40
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:38,096
Just once, just once
I'd like to meet a woman
Closer to my age.
41
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,498
You know, someone
Like angie dickinson.
42
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,136
Wait!
43
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,637
The tv is off.
44
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,639
Yeah,
I turned it off.
45
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,541
Well,
But now it's off.
46
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,110
We have a mission.
47
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,212
We didn't come
To this planet
To watch television.
48
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:57,715
Yeah, but it's given us
A reason to stay.
49
00:01:57,717 --> 00:02:00,218
I'm ordering you to go
Without television
For a week!
50
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,219
Now, that's final!
51
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:03,054
A week, no tv?
52
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,355
What'll I do?
53
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:06,958
Why don't you try
Using your brain
For a change?
54
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,495
Well, what good
Could come from it?
55
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:12,831
What's
Harry's problem now?
56
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,332
Dick's the one
With the problem.
57
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,600
What's the matter,
Dick?
58
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,502
It's mary.
59
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:20,238
I hate you!
Go figure.
60
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:25,944
This afternoon
I tried to borrow
Her magnifying glass,
61
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,213
You know,
To burn some ants.
62
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:29,781
Of course. Go on.
63
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,783
So anyway, she's like,
"No, you'll break it!"
64
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,284
And I'm all,
"I will not!"
65
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,019
And she's like, "It's mine!
You can't have it!"
66
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:36,521
So we have
This huge fight.
67
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:39,023
Finally
She let me borrow it
68
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,359
When she wasn't looking.
69
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,763
And let me guess.
You broke it.
70
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:45,997
Yes!
71
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,236
A particularly large queen
Burst into flames,
72
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:56,274
And I got scared
And dropped it
On the sidewalk.
73
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,976
Oh, dick!
74
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,978
I know what'll
Make you feel better.
75
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,412
A little tv.
76
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:02,447
Aah!
77
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,420
[doorbell rings]
78
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,921
Who is it?
79
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,089
It's tommy.
80
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,925
Oh, tommy,
Come on in.
81
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,093
Hi. Um...
82
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,428
I'm here to return
83
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,797
Your magnifying glass.
84
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,799
Dick broke that,
Didn't he?
85
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,302
And he couldn't bring it
Over himself, could he?
86
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,304
He's so immature.
87
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:01,807
Well, he's not
Necessarily--
88
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:04,209
Yeah, he's pretty
Immature.
89
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,211
I'll just leave this
Here on the table.
90
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,378
Thanks.
91
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,014
Oh, wow, the aztecs!
92
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,449
You studying them
In school?
93
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,351
No, but I read
About them on a placemat
94
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,953
At the pancake house.
95
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,456
You know what
The aztecs' problem was?
96
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,391
They were
At the wrong apex
97
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,092
Of the technological
World arc.
98
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,561
I've never heard of that.
99
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,062
Oh, it's my own theory.
100
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,566
You see, technology
Begins in china
In 5,000 b.C.
101
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:31,102
With, um, literature
And architecture
And pasta
102
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,472
And alcoholic beverages
And fireworks.
103
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:34,640
Oh!
104
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,208
Would you
Like an oreo?
105
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,709
Oh, thank you.
106
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,944
Oh, please continue.
This is fascinating.
107
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:43,648
So over the centuries
The techno-arc moves
Through the middle east,
108
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:47,152
Egypt, greece, rome,
Florence, europe,
The americas,
109
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,221
Until it gets back
To the pacific rim,
110
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,156
But it always
Travels west.
111
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:55,160
So you're saying,
The earth's rotation
Affects civilization.
112
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,394
Exactly!
113
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,164
And every dominant
Society is in sync
With the arc.
114
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,565
And the aztecs are--
115
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,300
They're off the arc
By 2,000 years,
116
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,270
And that is why
Their advancements
Are never recognized.
117
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:09,074
You have a very
Interesting theory.
118
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,076
Well,
For a teenager.
119
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,244
No, for anybody.
120
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:14,980
Most people dismiss
Non-literate cultures.
121
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,915
Well,
We live in one.
122
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:24,055
Would you like
A cup of coffee, tommy?
123
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,557
Could you
Do me a favor?
124
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:26,558
Hmm.
125
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,959
Call me tom.
126
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:33,598
Would you like
A cup of coffee, tom?
127
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,234
I would love
A cup of coffee, mary.
128
00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:38,336
All right.
129
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,410
Miss, uh, solomon?
130
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:46,912
There's been a mistake.
131
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:50,782
There's only 4 words
On this typing test.
132
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,685
No, no, no.
That's right.
133
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,188
You asked me
If I could type
40 words per minute.
134
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,557
There it is:
135
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:01,926
"40 words per minute."
136
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,298
And it only took me
A half hour.
137
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,266
When we say 40--
138
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,336
Ok. You know what?
They're your rules,
Not mine.
139
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,871
Hello...
140
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,039
"Sally."
141
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,608
I'm carl.
142
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:18,710
Hi. You know,
You should check on
Your friend over there.
143
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,178
No speak-a de english.
144
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,215
I don't work
In personnel.
I'm in distribution,
145
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,384
But maybe I can help you
Get through that.
146
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,888
Oh, yeah. I'm
Having some trouble
Filling it out.
147
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,724
You're, uh,
Filling it out just fine.
148
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,727
I'm, uh, looking
For a new assistant.
149
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,961
Oh, great!
150
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,997
And I already know
You can type
40 words per minute.
151
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:42,834
Hell, I can type
100 words per minute,
You give me enough time.
152
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,672
[telephone rings]
153
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,241
Hello.
154
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,077
Oh, hi, tom!
155
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,682
I had a wonderful
Time, too!
156
00:06:57,684 --> 00:07:01,086
No, I will not
Let you buy me lunch.
157
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,689
I'll buy you lunch.
158
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,825
I insist!
159
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,192
Ok.
160
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,694
Good-bye, tom.
161
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,497
Nina, I'll be back
In about an hour.
162
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:13,932
Have a nice lunch.
163
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:19,471
Nina, I need
To send something
Over to tom,
164
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:22,140
And I seem to have
Lost tom's address.
Who is he again?
165
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:25,276
I don't know,
And it's none
Of my business.
166
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,145
Well, it's none
Of my business,
167
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,847
And I'm obsessed
With it.
168
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,849
I thought
The two of you were over.
169
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:34,853
Why do all men think
Once they plant the flag,
They own the mountain?
170
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,222
I spent 2 years
Climbing that mountain,
171
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,225
And I'm not about
To let another man
Yodel on it!
172
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:49,501
Aah!
173
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,270
What's the matter?
174
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,838
Oh. He's thinking.
175
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,642
Tommy,
Do you still have
Feelings for me?
176
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,679
Sorry, august.
I'm seeing someone else.
177
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,948
What?
I can't believe this.
178
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,816
Kevin and I have
Only been going out
For a month,
179
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,185
And you already
Have a new girlfriend?
180
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,520
Oh, that's rich.
181
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:09,554
Good-bye.
182
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,589
Your son
Is impossible!
183
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:15,093
And you're a pain in the ass.
You're made for each other!
184
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:17,862
Where's dinner?
185
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,431
Sally's not home yet.
186
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:20,632
Nyaah!
187
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,803
Harry, go think
In another room.
188
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,304
And no television!
189
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,140
Dick, I've been
Meaning to ask you.
190
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,308
Um...
191
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,343
Are you still
Interested in mary?
192
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,346
No! Why does
Everybody ask me that,
Because I'm not!
193
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,382
No, sir.
She and I are free!
194
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,550
Good.
195
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,717
Oh, yeah,
It's good.
196
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,219
Yeah, I'm glad.
197
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,387
Damn right.
So am I.
198
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:43,555
Hey, guys!
199
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:44,722
Good news!
200
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,224
What is it,
Lieutenant?
201
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,725
I got a job.
202
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,060
A real job!
Look!
203
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,496
"Sally solomon,
Stern and bower, inc."
204
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,597
It's my I.D.
205
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,666
I have a parking pass,
Medical, dental,
206
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,033
Pension, profit sharing.
207
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:59,170
I'm thinking
Of retiring in mexico.
208
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,672
Well, your dollar
Goes further there.
209
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,173
Well, what
About dinner?
210
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:03,675
It's so much harder
Than I thought.
211
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,610
I actually have
To learn how to
Respect my coworkers
212
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,679
If I'm going
To keep this job.
213
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,614
"No offense, but
You're offending me."
214
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,982
What's this?
215
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,885
Oh, it's a pamphlet
About understanding
And tolerance
216
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,387
And all that crap.
217
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,989
Anyway, I read it,
And as hard as this
Is to believe,
218
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,191
Sometimes I think
I make people
Feel uncomfortable.
219
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,793
Oh, get out.
220
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:26,564
What's this?
"Hearty man's meatloaf
With all the fixin's."
221
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:33,071
Ok. This is
The bad news, you guys.
222
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,074
As a working woman,
I can no longer
Cook for you.
223
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,610
From now on,
You have to eat
Frozen dinners.
224
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,213
Aww.
Aww.
225
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,848
Can we start tonight?
226
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,017
Sure. As soon as
I take off my coat.
227
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,394
Hi, guys.
228
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,863
I'll just,
Uh, take that.
229
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,203
Harry: noooo!
230
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:11,509
Mr. Webber,
You have a meeting
In 10 minutes.
231
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,745
Mmm. Someone smells
Like fresh lemons.
232
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,247
What are you wearing?
233
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,549
Pledge.
234
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:23,087
I like it.
235
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,757
I'm going
To have a hard time
Concentrating on work
236
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,392
If you go around
Smelling like that.
237
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,195
Oh, I'm sorry
I distracted you.
It won't happen again.
238
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,696
Well, speaking
Of distractions,
239
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,699
I can't stop thinking
About what's under
That jacket.
240
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,901
I mean, give me a break.
I'm only human.
241
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,203
I'm sorry.
242
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,705
Does that help?
243
00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:42,240
Oh, that's much better.
244
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,242
Ok. Look, mr. Webber,
I just want you to know
245
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,945
That I read that booklet
From the human
Resources--
246
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,279
Oh, whoa, whoa. Whoa!
247
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,614
I was just kidding.
Honestly.
248
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,082
Oh, you're very kind,
249
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,017
But, look,
I know I look hot,
250
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:56,153
And if I have impeded
Your performance
251
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,789
Or made you uncomfortable
In the workplace,
252
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,724
I apologize for that
Right now.
253
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,626
Well, if you want
To apologize,
254
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:05,129
Maybe we could
Do it over drinks.
255
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:06,564
Oh, that's sweet.
256
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,400
'cause I
Certainly can't work
With those legs around.
257
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:15,907
Do you have any idea
What you're doing to me?
258
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,576
Oh, my god.
259
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,744
[door closes]
260
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,846
I'm sexually harassing
My boss!
261
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,452
[frantic
Knocking on door]
262
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:32,790
Harry, what are you
Doing here?
263
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:36,794
Just visiting
My good friend nina.
264
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:39,430
Hey, what's that music?
265
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,598
It's jazz.
266
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,166
Well, it's groovy.
267
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:44,669
You know what else
Is groovy?
268
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:46,403
Television.
269
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:50,274
You know what's on
Television right now?
270
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:51,308
Shows.
271
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,577
Oh.
272
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:55,079
Sorry, harry.
Something's wrong
With my antenna.
273
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,247
Don't worry.
274
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,749
I'll fix it.
275
00:11:57,751 --> 00:11:59,751
As god
Is my witness,
276
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:02,020
I'll fix it.
277
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:04,222
[frantic
Knocking on door]
278
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,624
Oh, nina, I got
To talk to somebody.
279
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,192
Well, sure.
Come on in.
280
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,528
You got to help me.
I am sexually
Harassing my boss.
281
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,663
What are you
Talking about?
282
00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:12,797
It's all my fault.
283
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,332
No matter what perfume
I wear, he sniffs me.
284
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,533
My legs distract him
All day long.
285
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,768
He can't
Get any work done.
286
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:19,871
Sally, this guy sounds
Like a total creep.
287
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,039
Aah!
288
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,206
Good news!
289
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:25,309
I've got mr. Ed.
290
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,244
No, wait.
It's a madonna video.
291
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:30,414
[banging on door]
292
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,916
Nina, I need
Some information!
293
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,918
Dick, I was
Talking to nina.
294
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,186
Well, wait your turn!
295
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,655
Nina, I want you
To call up mary
296
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,856
And find out
If she's with anybody.
297
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:40,591
No!
I'd do it myself,
298
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,727
But she'd think that
I still wanted her
And I don't!
299
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,262
Don't pull me into this.
It makes me uncomfortable.
300
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,731
Aha! You're
Harassing her!
301
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:47,832
I am not!
302
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,767
You're making her
Uncomfortable.
303
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,069
I know when I'm making
Someone uncomfortable,
And this isn't it.
304
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,572
Whoa, whoa,
Whoa, whoa!
305
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,206
Everybody freeze.
306
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,208
We've got reception.
307
00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:01,211
I said no tv!
308
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:03,815
Oh! That
Was my antenna!
309
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:07,218
Don't worry,
I'll take it
Out of your salary.
310
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,720
Who is mary seeing?
311
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,022
Why don't you ask tommy.
He's at mary's right now.
312
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,589
What, tommy's at mary's?
313
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,563
That duplicitous
Old fart!
314
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,530
Hey.
315
00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,868
Which is
Our nickname for him.
316
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,240
[doorbell rings]
317
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,742
I'll get it.
318
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,217
Hello.
What do you want?
319
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,217
Where's mary?
320
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:41,719
The kitchen.
What do you want?
321
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,220
I have to see her.
322
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,023
Yeah. Let's just
Keep this outside,
All right?
323
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,224
What do you think
You're doing?
324
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,992
I'm enjoying myself.
325
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,327
For the first time
On this planet,
326
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,829
I've met a woman
Who appreciates me
For what I think,
327
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,332
A woman who doesn't
Judge me by my appearance.
328
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,699
I'm happy, dick.
329
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,701
She's too old for you.
330
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:57,701
I'm older than you!
331
00:13:57,703 --> 00:13:59,203
Well, you're
Too old for her!
332
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,571
Either way,
It won't work!
333
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,141
I make her laugh, dick.
She likes it.
334
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,876
You shut
Your foul mouth!
335
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,213
She said she never
Laughed so hard with you.
336
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,715
Listen to me, grandpa.
337
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,518
You stay away
From the woman
That I don't love!
338
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,453
She's not your girlfriend
Anymore, pal.
339
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:18,055
You gave me the all clear,
So shove off!
340
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:19,223
Mary: tom!
341
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,893
Yeah, I'm
Coming...Mary.
342
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,728
Ooh!
343
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:26,397
And if I catch you
Hanging around
This porch again,
344
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,666
I'm calling the cops.
345
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:37,308
Dick: I can't believe
He had the gall to say
He could make her laugh.
346
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,976
I'd like
To see him do it
With me in the room.
347
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,244
Could you please
Take this somewhere else?
348
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,245
She laughed
Her head off with me.
349
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,479
I'm being harassed, ok?
350
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,148
My problem
Is far greater
351
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:45,316
Than anything
To do with your--
352
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,118
Hey, hey, hey!
353
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,486
Harry, what
Are you doing?
354
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:51,055
Thinking.
355
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,191
Learning.
356
00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:56,827
Observing the world
Outside the tv.
357
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,796
And you know
What I've observed?
358
00:14:58,798 --> 00:14:59,797
You.
359
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:00,898
And you know what?
360
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,132
You're not very good
At your job.
361
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:04,735
I beg your pardon!
362
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:05,903
Let's review!
363
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,739
What have you accomplished
Since we got here?
364
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,808
Well, you got
A rathole apartment,
365
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:15,413
A used car, and you
Got lucky a few times.
366
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,580
17!
367
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:18,882
17.
368
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,718
Well, the big giant head's
369
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,252
Got to have a merit badge
For that.
370
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,454
Got you there, dick.
371
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,822
And you!
372
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,325
You call yourself
A security officer.
373
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,826
Look at you!
374
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:32,263
Since we got here,
We've been robbed,
Mugged, threatened,
375
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,098
And now
Some mental midget
Is making you feel
376
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,234
All uncomfortable
In the workplace.
377
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:41,939
And all you can do
About it is yak,
378
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:46,543
Yak, yaaak!
379
00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:49,580
You want your woman back,
You go get her!
380
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,950
Your boss is a moron,
Put your foot in his butt!
381
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:02,694
We're an interstellar squad
Of superior beings,
For god's sakes!
382
00:16:02,696 --> 00:16:05,462
Now quit your bitchin'
And get out of the kitchen!
383
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,606
Well, good morning,
Sweetness.
384
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,107
Let's cut to the chase.
385
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:19,109
Your conduct is affecting
My work performance
386
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:23,080
And/or creating
An intimidating environment
In my workplace.
387
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:27,217
You know, sally.
388
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,719
It's casual friday.
389
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,555
Why are you
Wearing a bra?
390
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,362
Oh, wow!
391
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:40,331
I don't believe it.
392
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,166
Harry was right.
393
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:46,237
I'm going to have to plant
A patent leather pump
Right in your ass.
394
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:53,677
I'm afraid
The, uh, company
395
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,113
Has decided
To terminate you.
396
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,584
You're having me killed?
397
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,455
No. No, no.
We're firing you.
398
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,190
Oh, good.
399
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,925
Why?
400
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,893
The incident
With mr. Webber.
401
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,663
Oh. Ok, uh, veronica.
402
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,398
Um, I'm glad
You brought that up.
403
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,502
You see, mr. Webber
Has been making me
Feel very uncomfortable.
404
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,505
Well, then you should've
Filed a complaint with us.
405
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:21,505
That's what I'm doing.
406
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:22,840
Yes, I know,
407
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:26,176
But you should've come in
Before you broke his kneecap.
408
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,445
Now you don't
Have a leg to stand on.
409
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:30,714
But neither does he.
410
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,153
[doorbell rings]
411
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,091
Hello.
Can I help you?
412
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,793
Yeah. I'm here
To see mary.
413
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,228
I'm sorry.
You can't come in.
414
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,896
It's me!
Who is it?
415
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,164
Oh, tom!
416
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,332
Come in!
417
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,734
We're having coffee.
Would you like a cup?
418
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,236
Uh, no, he wouldn't.
419
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,370
Yes, please!
420
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:55,306
Oh. I'll go
Put on some more.
421
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:57,975
What are you doing here?
422
00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,644
I brought mary a new
Magnifying glass.
423
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:03,380
I couldn't bear her
Being without one.
424
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:06,417
This is me
You're talking to,
You pathetic heap.
425
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,885
You're only here
426
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,854
Because you can't stand
To see mary happy
With someone else.
427
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:13,057
Like you could threaten
Me. It's laughable.
428
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,292
Ha ha ha!
429
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:17,995
You see. Now you're
Making me laugh at you!
430
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,329
If you hurt her,
431
00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:21,331
I swear to god,
I will break your neck.
432
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,600
You will not threaten me.
Is that clear, soldier?
433
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,336
Oh. Ok. Then, uh,
Permission to do this.
434
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,477
Ugh!
435
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:46,490
Aah!
436
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:48,659
So, how do you
Like this?
437
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,661
Does...That...Feel...Good?
438
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:53,830
What is going on?
439
00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:54,932
Roughhousing?
440
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,702
Tommy, are you
All right?
441
00:18:58,704 --> 00:18:59,803
My daddy hurt me.
442
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,676
Dick, I don't
Believe you!
443
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,177
Oh, mary, if
You only understood
What was going on here--
444
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,179
I don't want
To understand!
445
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,280
Get out!
446
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:11,682
But he started it!
447
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,017
Get out
And get help!
448
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:16,220
All right.
449
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,357
If that's
What you want.
450
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,293
Promise me you'll
Be good to her.
451
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:31,368
Oh.
452
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,137
Oh, well. I suppose
I can get another one
453
00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:37,174
The next time
I'm in southwestern
Tanganyika.
454
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:40,243
I shouldn't have
Come here tonight.
455
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:43,614
You're welcome here
Anytime.
456
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,916
Mary, sit down.
457
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,387
What is it, tom?
458
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,888
Listen.
459
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:52,957
You're really sweet,
460
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,459
But it's just not
Going to work out,
461
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:56,860
And besides,
I think we both know
462
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,929
There's still
A guy out there
Who's stuck on you.
463
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,430
I have no idea--
464
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:01,599
Shh!
465
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:02,766
Don't speak.
466
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:06,403
Just let me remember
The way you look
467
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:07,737
Right now.
468
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:20,017
It's ok, dick.
469
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,718
You can have her.
470
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,222
You're not giving her
To me. I took her.
471
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,758
Well,
Whatever gets you
Through the night.
472
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,192
Harry: ah!
473
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:30,628
There you are.
474
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,195
You know, I've
Been thinking again.
475
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:35,366
Oh, my god.
Aw!
Shut up!
476
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,768
You know, dick,
I don't think
You have a clue
477
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,370
About earth women.
478
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,305
Matter of fact,
I don't think
479
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:44,808
You'd be too good with
Women from any planet.
480
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,243
Speaking of women,
481
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,679
I think you're
Incredibly hot.
482
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:50,581
You know, we're not
Really brother
And sister.
483
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,915
It's all made up.
484
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,985
What say
We have a go at it?
485
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:59,156
You, me, and
A stick of butter.
What do you say?
486
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:04,127
Look, harry,
Home shopping.
487
00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:06,830
Harry: oh, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
488
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,332
Seen it, seen it.
Bought it,
Bought it.
489
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:12,235
Want it. Need it.
Ooooh!
490
00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:14,738
Oh, I like that.
491
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,239
Ahh.
Ahh.
Ahh.
492
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:18,409
Peace.
You know, dick,
493
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,911
You're just
Like that guy
I worked for.
494
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,913
It's all about
Possession
And control.
495
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,614
You think
You own mary.
496
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:27,617
Oh, no, I know now
That I never owned mary,
497
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,054
But I did test drive
The hell out of her.
498
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:34,858
Yeah, yeah, we know.
17 times.
499
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:44,735
♪ thinking, thinking ♪
500
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,437
♪ thinking hard ♪
501
00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:49,373
♪ I know what the answer is,
I got it ♪
502
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:52,209
♪ no, that can't be,
I'm so wrong ♪
503
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:55,813
♪ I guessed mao,
But it's b.D. Wong ♪
504
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,214
♪ thinking, thinking ♪
505
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,548
♪ thinking hard ♪
506
00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:00,017
♪ what's the use? ♪
507
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,052
♪ I've burned
Too many brain cells ♪
508
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,888
♪ maybe
I'll just fantasize ♪
509
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:08,959
♪ look at alex
And close my eyes ♪
510
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:10,927
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
37588
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