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1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:05,004
Harry: previously on
3rd rock from the sun...
2
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,405
We four aliens dreamed
For the first time.
3
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:09,174
I'll tell you
What you want to know!
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,810
[german accent]
Of course you will,
Dr. Solomon.
5
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:15,880
Naturally, not being human,
We thought our brains
Were decomposing.
6
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,048
[gasps]
7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,585
We planned an immediate
Return to the home planet.
8
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:21,052
We'll leave tonight
At 8:53.
9
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:22,186
W-when are we
Coming back?
10
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,423
Could be a week, a year,
Could be 200 years.
11
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:25,757
What about mary?
12
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:26,758
Oh, she'll be dead.
13
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,427
Maybe I am
Losing my mind,
14
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,762
But while
There's a little left,
I want to marry you.
15
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:34,065
This is so great!
16
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,567
I know!
17
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,469
Uh, dick,
Are you sure?
18
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,470
Absolutely.
19
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,573
Well, this is
Good-bye, then.
20
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,376
I had a dream
You asked me to marry you.
21
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,377
You had a what?
22
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,378
People dream.
23
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,113
People dream?!
24
00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:50,115
Hello! Sally!
25
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,249
Harry!
26
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,517
They're gone.
27
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,386
I miss them.
28
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,624
Minister: and
That togetherness is
What is most celebrated
29
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,625
About this
Very special occasion.
30
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,662
Oh, mary, this is
The happiest day
Of my life.
31
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,397
You look so beautiful.
32
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,732
And I look smashing
In my tuxedo.
33
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,768
My bow tie
Matches my cummerbund.
34
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,471
You're not wearing
A cummerbund.
35
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,473
Yes, I am.
36
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,375
You're supposed
To wear it
On the outside.
37
00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,078
Oh. Oh, that
Explains the rash.
38
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,550
Now, then,
If anyone objects
To this sacred union,
39
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,386
Speak now or
Forever hold your peace.
40
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,388
[ominous organ chord plays]
41
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,656
Sally:
I object.
42
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,558
I think
That's my arm.
43
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,993
Huh? Oh, sorry.
44
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,895
My family!
You made it!
45
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,630
I was afraid I was never
Going to see you again.
46
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,031
You look well.
47
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,668
You got some color.
48
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,269
Could have used you
At the wheel, dick.
49
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,403
Oh, but no.
50
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:47,839
You had to stay
And marry
That earth chick.
51
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:51,476
Yeah. With
Tragic results for us.
52
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,611
I--I tried
To contact you.
I tried everything.
53
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,946
I even built
A transmitter,
54
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,416
But then I...Spilled
Grape soda on it
55
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,917
And the whole thing
Shorted out.
56
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,453
However, I did
Manage to have
A brief conversation
57
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,822
With the captain
Of a shrimp boat.
58
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,456
So that's supposed
To make it better?
59
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,191
Oh, come on.
You got to go back
To the home planet.
60
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,560
What's so bad
About that?
61
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:09,861
Oh, nothing.
62
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,964
Except when you
Pass too close
To a quasar
63
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,166
And this happens!
64
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:16,768
Oh, my god!
65
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,803
You've turned
Into a woman!
66
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,272
Well, not everywhere.
67
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,641
As if showering
In gym class
Wasn't traumatic enough.
68
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,443
Thank you very much.
69
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:28,246
[screeching voice]
Dick, I think it's time
To cut the cake!
70
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:29,380
I-I'll be right there.
71
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:31,083
Y-you're not going
To leave again, are you?
72
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,484
No.
73
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,052
We have some...
74
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,521
Unfinished business
To take care of.
75
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,022
I-I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
76
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,657
No, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
77
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,658
Aah! Aah!
78
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,659
Ooh! Ooh!
79
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,661
Aah! Ah!
80
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:44,662
No, I'm sorry!
81
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,663
I'm sorry! Stop!
82
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:46,664
Stop!
83
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,366
You're ruining
My tuxedo!
84
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,101
Stop!
85
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,070
Dick,
I made breakfast!
86
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,172
Dick, are you
All right?
87
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,306
Oh, no, mary,
88
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,675
I had another one
Of those horrible
Dreams!
89
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:58,910
What happened?
90
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,111
We were getting married.
91
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,446
Thank you.
92
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,581
No, no.
93
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,715
No, that was
The good part,
94
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,183
But then my family
Showed up.
95
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,452
Oh. Don't tell me.
They objected.
96
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,587
Well...
They had issues.
97
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,089
It's all right.
98
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:15,093
I've prepared a short speech
Just in case they did.
99
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,595
It's just basically
2 words,
100
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:19,531
And one of them's "Off."
101
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,832
Zmary--
102
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,667
Mary--
103
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:24,669
I think I made
A big mistake.
104
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,072
I should never have
Let them go off
Without me,
105
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,073
Uh, on vacation.
106
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,409
Well, until
They get back,
107
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,711
Can't we just
Enjoy our time alone?
108
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,712
[sobs]
109
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,548
Alone?
110
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,851
Dick, are you having
Second thoughts about us?
111
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,420
About us?
Oh, no, mary.
112
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,054
I don't know
What I'd do
Without you.
113
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,522
You're the only thing
Keeping me sane.
114
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:45,691
Ohh!
115
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:48,894
And it's
A full-time job.
116
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,562
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
117
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:55,067
I'm going to get ready
For work.
118
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,668
Ya crazy lug.
119
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,471
Ha ha ha ha ha!
120
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,939
[crying]
121
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,344
I miss you all so much.
122
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,551
And my oatmeal is so lumpy.
123
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,223
Uh, welcome back, class.
124
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,792
Uh, before we begin,
125
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,927
I'd like to hear
What everybody did
126
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:56,995
Over their break.
127
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:57,929
Uh, bug?
128
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,098
Me?
129
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,001
Uh, w-well, I spent
A lot of time
130
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,536
In a cabin in the woods
With my folks--
131
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:07,139
That's nice. Caryn?
132
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,640
Oh, uh, well,
133
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,143
I went to the grand canyon
With my brother and sister
And--
134
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:14,346
Oh, enough about
Your damn families!
135
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,214
Didn't anybody
Spend the break alone,
136
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,683
Watching reruns
And eating cheese doodles
137
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,385
While an unfathomable
Emptiness
138
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:23,288
Permeated
Their shriveled souls?
139
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:26,391
I saw booty call
On pay-per-view.
140
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,695
Don't try to cheer me up,
Leon. It won't work.
141
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,564
Is there something you'd like
To talk about, dr. Solomon?
142
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,066
Talk about?
With you, leon?
143
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:36,001
Ha ha ha ha!
144
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,370
Well, you know
I am a psych major...
145
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,639
Now.
146
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:41,673
You are?
147
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,976
Well, then...
148
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,045
Help me out.
149
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,748
I've made
A horrible,
Horrible mistake,
150
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,417
And I can't stop
Hating myself
For making it.
151
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,419
Well, you know,
Dr. Solomon,
152
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,987
A person
Should never be sad
153
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,889
For the mistakes
He's made.
154
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,891
Only for the mistakes
He's about to make.
155
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,827
Leon,
That's beautiful.
156
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:06,431
It also explains
Why you always
Seem so sad.
157
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,634
Thank you, leon.
158
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,636
You've made it
All so clear.
159
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:14,071
I've got to learn
To let go,
160
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:16,141
To move forward and
Focus on the thing
161
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,909
That's
Most important
In my life.
162
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,311
[screeching]
Me!
163
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:28,252
You guys remember
When I thought
Our brains were melting?
164
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:29,754
You remember that?
165
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:30,755
[chuckles]
166
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:33,959
Well, it turns out
We were just dreaming.
167
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:35,961
But, hey, none of you
Caught it either.
168
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:39,865
I mean, it was pretty stupid
On all our parts,
Especially your parts.
169
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,366
I'm not taking
The blame on this one!
170
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:42,868
[horn honks]
Ooh! Ooh!
171
00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:49,007
I'm sorry.
Let's not fight.
172
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,442
I miss you...
173
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,478
With all my heart.
174
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,215
I've come here every night
Hoping you'd returned...
175
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,716
But you never have.
176
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:02,720
And so I've
Come to a decision.
177
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,722
Sally, harry, tommy,
178
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:08,526
I can't go on
Torturing myself anymore.
179
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,728
I have to move forward
With my life,
180
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,731
The life
I've chosen with mary.
181
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,734
I hope you understand.
182
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:19,070
And so good-bye.
183
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,239
Good-bye, sally.
184
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,241
Good-bye, tommy.
185
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,443
Good-bye, harry.
186
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,978
Harry:
Good-bye, dick!
187
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,283
It's almost as if
I could hear you.
188
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,584
Harry, crying:
It sure is!
189
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,188
Harry!
190
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,189
You're back!
191
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,923
You're all back!
192
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,625
Oh, I missed you all
So much!
193
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,328
Oh, sally!
194
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,829
Oh, harry!
195
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:45,830
Tommy!
196
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,466
Ohh!
197
00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:50,134
A woman I've
Never seen before!
198
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,572
Who's this?!
199
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,273
The big giant head
Sent her.
200
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,075
Dick, I'd like you
To meet...
201
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,343
Your new wife!
202
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,812
My wife?!
203
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,548
Hi, honey, I'm home!
204
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:07,652
Family meeting!
205
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,154
Family meeting!
206
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,456
No, not you.
207
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,091
That is not my wife.
208
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,092
So? I'm
Not your sister.
209
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,293
Yeah, and I'm
Not your brother.
210
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,527
He's certainly
Not my uncle.
211
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:17,796
And I'm not
His aunt.
212
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:18,797
I'm not
His father.
213
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,998
[all talking at once]
214
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,800
You see? This woman
Is tearing
This family apart!
215
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,234
That's it.
Meeting adjourned.
216
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,237
That woman
Is not my wife.
I'm engaged to mary.
217
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:27,138
Dick, you're gonna
Have to forget about her.
218
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,472
No, this can't
Be happening.
219
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:29,807
This cannot
Be happening.
220
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,309
It's got to be
Another crazy dream.
221
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,344
It's not a dream, dick.
222
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,345
I don't believe you.
223
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,513
I still
Don't believe you.
224
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,815
I'll never
Believe you!
225
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,484
All right, all right!
I believe you!
I believe you!
226
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,152
Wife: can I
Rub that for you?
227
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,420
Oh, leave me alone.
228
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,088
Yes, dear.
229
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,323
Go away!
230
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,424
Thank you!
231
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,927
Uh, look, dick,
Here's the deal.
232
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,196
The big giant head
Thinks your pursuit
Of that blonde wench
233
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,732
Is distracting you
From your duties.
234
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,067
How does he know so much
About my wench?
235
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,069
He summoned us
Before him.
236
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,271
He made us wear
The truth belt.
237
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,773
The one with the buzzer?
238
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:04,042
Bzzz!
239
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,210
It was
Horrible, dick.
240
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,211
So you caved,
Lieutenant?
241
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,212
Yes!
242
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,380
You just
Brought her here?
243
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,648
It was either that
Or the big giant head
244
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,183
Was going to
Have you sucked back
To the home planet.
245
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,218
Then I'd
Rather be sucked!
246
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,486
Oh, typical!
247
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:19,090
You know, dick,
It might not be so bad.
248
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,427
This woman,
She is 100% wife.
249
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,529
I mean, all she read
On the way over was
250
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,131
the joy of cooking
And the joy of sex.
251
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:30,168
This car is meshuggah!
252
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,038
Oh, yeah.
And the joy of yiddish.
253
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:37,241
Did you guys realize
That we have 3 holes
In our heads?
254
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,242
5.
255
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,244
3.
256
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,845
2 here
And then this one.
257
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,947
Feel the sides
Of your head.
258
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:43,948
[gasps]
259
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,750
What do you know?
260
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,352
Just wait.
There's more.
261
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,491
Isn't she adorable?
262
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,992
We've been
Calling her janet.
263
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,394
Well, most of us have.
264
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,463
I'm telling you,
She looks like
A zippy--
265
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,831
Harry, no!
I've been telling you--
266
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,332
Now that's enough!
267
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,833
I've heard enough.
268
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,936
Get in the car.
We're ditching
This woman.
269
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,237
We can't do that.
270
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,471
Well, of course we can.
I'll just put it
In drive,
271
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:08,773
And we'll fly
Like the wind!
272
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:09,774
Tommy.
273
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:10,775
Tell him.
274
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,177
She is the big
Giant head's niece.
275
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,785
Well...So what?
276
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,320
What's the worst thing
That can happen
277
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,621
If we leave her here?
278
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,122
Big giant
Court-martials.
279
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,124
Followed by
Big giant executions.
280
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,761
And then
4 tiny little
Funerals.
281
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,263
I don't care.
282
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,964
I've chosen love
Over death before.
283
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,165
Yeah, well, I haven't.
284
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:36,534
Janet, get in the car!
285
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,036
Wh--you--wh--
286
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,303
Oh--
287
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,905
Damn!
288
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,476
Oww!
289
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,146
Some wife.
290
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,854
Oh! Food!
291
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,822
God, I'm starving!
292
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,292
Ah.
293
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,528
You waited.
294
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,196
I knew you would.
295
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,601
Ohhh!
296
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,004
It's our first home.
297
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,507
I love it!
298
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,141
Where's our bedroom?
299
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,645
Oh, no, no, uh,
That won't be necessary.
300
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,648
No! I want to be
The best wife ever!
301
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,451
Well, uh...
Good luck to you.
Bye, now.
302
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,953
No, don't fight it,
Sweetie.
303
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,021
Let me love you.
304
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,460
Where's our boudoir?
305
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,462
Oh--oh--
Oh, well, uh--uh--
306
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:41,065
Long story short,
We don't have one.
307
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,100
Ok, then.
308
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,767
Whoa!
309
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,508
Uhh! Ohh!
310
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,842
Ohh!
311
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:52,843
Ok!
312
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,845
That was fun,
And you were good.
313
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,381
I was amazing.
We're done.
314
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,382
Now...
315
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,883
Go enjoy a sandwich.
316
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,484
Ok, then!
317
00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,557
Ssssspank me.
318
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,694
There's
Nothing to eat.
319
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:12,197
Well, that's good,
'cause there's
No clean dishes.
320
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,698
God, this place
Is a pigsty.
321
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,066
Yeah, you better
Get on it.
322
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,502
Oh, thanks, tommy.
That's a nice welcome ho--
323
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,608
Janet.
324
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,244
I love this room.
325
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,746
Oh, what's not to love?
326
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,748
Did you know
That this is where I do
327
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,249
All of my cooking
And cleaning?
328
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,752
I mean, there is
No greater honor
For a woman.
329
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,553
Me, I can't
Get enough of it.
330
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,556
In fact, I'm gonna
Clean some dishes
Right now.
331
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,058
Ha ha ha!
332
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,859
Oh, yeah!
333
00:12:43,195 --> 00:12:45,496
Oh, but I'm the wife.
334
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,699
Shouldn't I be able
To do the dishes?
335
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:50,168
No. This is
Too much fun, ok?
336
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,302
Please!
337
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,904
Ok, if you insist.
338
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,306
But I still
Get to do the floors!
339
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,307
Whee!
340
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,308
[humming]
341
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,810
No, no, no, no, no!
342
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,312
I think the floors
Are my turf now.
343
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,814
Ok.
344
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:06,517
There is no way you're
Getting this job, sister.
345
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,053
But you're the wife.
346
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:12,490
Good-bye, kitchen.
I sure am gonna miss ya.
347
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,659
♪ I'm
Gonna love you ♪
348
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,660
♪ like nobody's
Loved you... ♪
349
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,428
She's doing
The kitchen.
350
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,863
Score!
351
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,332
That's just great.
352
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,067
Oh, come on, dick.
I'm sorry.
353
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,403
You know we wouldn't
Have brought her
Back here
354
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,837
Unless
We were forced to.
355
00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:27,906
Yeah, I guess not.
356
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,340
At least we're all
Together again, right?
357
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,508
Yeah. And what the hell?
358
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:34,479
We've been through
Tougher times before, huh?
359
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,480
Oh, guys!
360
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,348
Ohh!
361
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,017
Tv: are there aliens
Among us?
362
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,352
Tonight local residents
Report seeing
363
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,222
Mysterious lights in the sky
Over the old sweeney farm.
364
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,724
Whoa! That's the place
Where we landed!
365
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,126
Ok, all right.
366
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,760
We have nothing
To worry about.
367
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,396
Sally cleaned up
The landing site.
368
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,364
You said you were gonna
Clean up the landing site.
369
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,866
No, no,
No, no, no, no.
370
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:58,036
I said I was
Going to clean up
The landing site.
371
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,470
So you cleaned up
The landing site.
372
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:00,471
No.
373
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:01,472
[gasps]
374
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,473
Aah!
375
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:03,474
Oh, god!
376
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,475
Hurry!
377
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,476
Hurry!
378
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,677
Hurry up!
Get over there!
379
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,057
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
380
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,927
Oh, don!
381
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:23,928
[gasping]
382
00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:24,995
Sally!
383
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:27,665
You made my heart
Jump right into my mouth.
384
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:28,600
Ohh!
385
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,402
Swallow.
386
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,544
Nice flashlight.
387
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,580
I was about to say
The same thing to you.
388
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,081
Sally,
Where have you been?
389
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,351
I thought we had
A good thing going.
390
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,852
Oh, don, we did.
I just--
391
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,955
I needed to take
A little time, you know,
To think things over.
392
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,458
I just went
On one those
Spontaneous trips,
393
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,759
You know, to,
Um, uh...
394
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,094
Sea world.
Turkey.
395
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,729
Yeah, the sea world
In turkey.
396
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,164
Funny, I didn't know
There was a sea world
In turkey.
397
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,836
There's sea worlds
Everywhere, don.
398
00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:07,171
You just got to know
Where to look.
399
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,842
Wh-wh-what are you
All doing out here
400
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,844
In the dead
Of the night?
401
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:16,347
Oh, well, tommy and I
Were just going to go down
To old man sweeney's creek
402
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,849
And look for tadpoles
403
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,818
While harry here
Kept you busy.
Come on, tommy.
404
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,189
Circle.
405
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,058
Yeah. Sure is.
406
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,559
You know, harry,
407
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,962
There are some crackpots
Saying that this is
The work of ufos.
408
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,097
Hah.
409
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,366
As if there could be
Intelligent life out there.
410
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,035
What a load of hooey.
411
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,738
Hooey?
412
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,674
Oh, yeah. So much bunk,
You can make a bed out of it.
413
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,576
Oh, it's bunk, is it?
414
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,712
Any moron with
Half a brain knows that.
415
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,714
Half a brain.
I see.
416
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,048
Well, you know, don,
417
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,550
It's a big universe
Out there,
418
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,720
And not just
Small big.
419
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,188
Big big.
420
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,690
Why, in the belletrix
System alone
421
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,560
There are over
44 trillion planets.
422
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,562
44 trillion?
423
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:08,599
That's the biggest number
I've ever heard in my life.
424
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:12,369
Yeah. So don't you think
On just one
Of those planets
425
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:15,139
That there might
Be some species--
Smarter than you--
426
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,609
That would be capable
Of building a spaceship?
427
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,346
Statistically, I suppose.
428
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:26,350
Maybe there is more to this
Than meets the eye.
429
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,785
Thank you, harry.
430
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,187
No.
431
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,255
Thank you, don.
432
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,294
Aliens, huh?
433
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,399
Aah!
434
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:43,701
Uhh!
435
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,203
It's just wheat.
436
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,204
Just wheat.
437
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,805
What's that?!
438
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:48,739
Huh?!
439
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,646
So, janet, what do you
Call these things
We're eating?
440
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,415
Pancakes.
441
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,217
These are pancakes?
442
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,652
I thought pancakes
Were burnt globs of dough
443
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,188
That explode with flour
When you bite into them,
444
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,256
Sally.
445
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,657
Me, too.
446
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,863
Good morning, dear.
447
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,866
I'm just putting
The finishing touches
On your lunch.
448
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,868
Ow, wow, dick.
You look terrible.
449
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,369
I feel even worse.
450
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,970
Why? What's wrong?
451
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,472
All night long,
452
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,341
Janet kept trying to touch
My wacky place.
453
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,247
I wound up sleeping
Behind the tv.
454
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,515
All I could think of
Was how much I wanted
To be with mary.
455
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,516
Shh!
Shh!
456
00:17:32,518 --> 00:17:34,518
You've got to give
Janet a chance.
457
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,086
I don't gotta do nothin'!
458
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:38,222
Janet.
459
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,256
Yes, dear.
460
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:40,257
You know this whole thing
461
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:41,292
Where I'm supposed
To be your husband
462
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,560
And you're
Supposed to be my wife?
463
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,595
Of course.
It's never
Gonna work out.
464
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,099
And the sooner
We face up to that,
The happier we'll be.
465
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,333
There now.
466
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:51,335
Don't you
Feel better?
467
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,838
[crying]
468
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,339
What's happening?
469
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,141
I'm all wet!
470
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,342
No, stop.
Don't do that.
471
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,510
No, stop! Stop!
472
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:00,778
I'm leaking!
473
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:01,845
Sally!
474
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:03,981
Oh, it's fine,
Honey. It's normal.
475
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:07,151
Go dry your eyes,
And we'll shop for
Shoes, ok, honey?
476
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:10,655
[janet sobbing]
477
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:13,057
You cannot talk
To her like that!
We'll all get incinerated!
478
00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:15,760
Well, I think
We all love mary enough
To make that sacrifice.
479
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,227
No!
No!
Am I right?
480
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:18,428
Wh--wh--
481
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,631
Well, I do.
482
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,034
Oh, my god!
483
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,369
What are these?
484
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:26,370
Pancakes.
485
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:27,471
Janet's pancakes.
486
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:30,007
These are pancakes?
I thought pancakes were--
487
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,041
Me, too!
488
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,411
Ok?!
489
00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,452
Hey, dick--
490
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,554
It's not
What it looks like!
491
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,656
It looks wonderful!
492
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:49,560
I've never seen you
Bring your lunch
In a picnic basket before.
493
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:52,062
Well, I've never seen you
In a thong bikini before,
494
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,832
But there's a first time
For everything, right?
495
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,901
No. What did you make?
496
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,402
What did I make?
497
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:01,738
W-w-well, that's a--
An easy enough, uh,
Question to answer.
498
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:04,709
I'll just, uh,
Open it up
And show you.
499
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,143
Peppered duck paté
500
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,644
And wheat crackers,
501
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:11,482
Uh, thai noodles,
Homemade chocolate-chunk
Cookies.
502
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,017
Oh!
503
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,185
A flower?
504
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:15,686
Well, what's wrong
With your fiancé
505
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,155
Bringing you
A flower?
506
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,157
Oh, that's sweet.
507
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,658
I'm sorry, mary.
508
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,660
I know that, uh, lately
509
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,663
I-I've been acting
A little strange.
510
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,831
Lately?
511
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,833
Ok. For the last
Few minutes.
512
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,835
But I'm going to
Make it up to you.
513
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:31,836
Nina!
514
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:32,937
Yes?
515
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,839
Will you make
A reservation
For 2 tonight
516
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,973
At la petite orange?
517
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,275
La petite orange?
518
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,609
oui.
519
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,178
What did he do?
520
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,879
Nothing.
521
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,881
Oh, yeah,
He did something,
All right.
522
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,383
[sputters]
523
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,385
All I've done
Is to love mary
524
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,620
More than any other
Woman in this world.
525
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,622
No matter how good
Their pancakes are.
526
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,091
Have you ever done that?
527
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,194
Yeah.
528
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,162
Have you ever done that?
529
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,296
Oh, yeah.
530
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,334
Have you ever done that?
531
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,708
Yeah.
532
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,310
Oh, dick!
533
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,078
Can we do this?
534
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,079
Ohh!
535
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,314
No!
536
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,549
Mrs. Dubcek, what
Are you doing here?
537
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,384
I'm talking
To your...Wife.
538
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:23,387
Well, I think you two
Have talked long enough.
539
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:24,821
Janet, please!
540
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,725
I can get into my pajamas
In my own time!
541
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,726
Yes, dear.
542
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,294
You know, a woman
543
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,997
Doesn't have to pretend
That she's your wife
To sleep over,
544
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,832
Unless that's what
Spikes your punch.
545
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:37,501
Janet, get off me!
546
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,504
Go make me
An english muffin pizza.
547
00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,771
Yes, my little kreplach!
548
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:42,706
Ooh!
549
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,277
Listen up, everyone.
550
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,779
I have a plan.
551
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,147
I'll go get janet.
552
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,148
No, no!
553
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,050
It's a plan
To get rid of janet.
554
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,552
Right. Nice save.
555
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:57,555
Dick, you can't
Just kick her out.
556
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:58,822
I know.
557
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,824
But what if she
Wanted to leave?
558
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,326
She doesn't
Want to leave.
559
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,894
Not yet. But I think
I can change that.
560
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:04,962
Watch. Watch...
561
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,464
As I become
562
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:10,067
The most obnoxious,
Repulsive creep
Any woman has ever met.
563
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:13,237
Wow! The transformation
Is astounding.
564
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,872
I'm impressed!
565
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,307
I haven't done it yet!
566
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,442
But I must start
Immediately.
567
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,944
Harry,
Go pick up mary
568
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,446
And take her
To la petite orange.
569
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,614
Here's a 20.
570
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,616
I think it's going
To cost more than that.
571
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,783
Well, you
Won't be eating.
572
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:27,852
All righty.
573
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:30,121
Your mini pizza is ready.
574
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,555
Uh, coming, dear.
575
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,093
It begins.
576
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,697
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
40465
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