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1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,171
I have got
2
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,540
The perfect
Present for you.
3
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,942
- a present? What for?
- christmas.
4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,613
What, you didn't
Get me anything?
5
00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:18,417
( scoffs )
No, are you kidding?
6
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,519
No, of c--
Not get you anything?
7
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,887
Of course I got
You something.
I, uh...
8
00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,357
I got you
The perfect something.
It's perfect,
9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,260
And it's, uh,
It's really something.
10
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:31,130
You're so sweet.
11
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,437
All right,
We are wired.
12
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:41,707
- can I plug it in?
Can I plug it in?
- knock yourself out.
13
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,544
( gasps )
14
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,014
- it's magnificent!
- you ain't seen
Nothin' yet.
15
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,016
By the time I'm through
With this joint,
16
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,351
They're gonna be
Able to see it
From the shuttle.
17
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:56,254
Tommy!
18
00:00:58,291 --> 00:01:00,592
- look what I got.
- a stick?
19
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:02,594
No!
20
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,364
It's a christmas tree!
21
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:08,367
You'll see.
All it needs
Is a little love.
22
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,802
Dick! Dick!
23
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:14,473
- you are not gonna believe what we got at the mall.
- a stick?
24
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,475
It's a christmas tree!
25
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:20,545
That thing?
We are solomons, harry.
26
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:23,481
We should have
The biggest, noblest tree
In all of ohio.
27
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:27,252
Forget the stick, dick.
We found jobs.
28
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,255
The mall is full of them--
Christmas jobs.
29
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,925
You are lookin'
At a professional
Gift-wrapper.
30
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:35,827
And I am the
Executive assistant
31
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,664
To mr. Santa claus.
32
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,933
I've heard of him.
He's the muckedy-muck
In charge of the whole shebang.
33
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,737
Yeah, well, I'm kind of
His right-hand elf.
34
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,772
This is wonderful.
It's a celebration.
35
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,341
- tommy, when did we first
Land on this planet?
- january 9th.
36
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,344
It was a tuesday,
Exactly 8:30 p.M.
37
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,279
7:30 central.
38
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:59,284
Do you realize
We're coming up
On our anniversary?
39
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:02,987
An earth year on earth,
And everything is
Finally coming together.
40
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:06,191
It's as if all
Of the earth were
Throwing us a party.
41
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,860
Suddenly I feel
So... So...
42
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,862
Human.
43
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,231
Oh, guys!
Come here.
44
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,601
( snap )
45
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,741
Oh, great.
Now it's a stick.
46
00:02:23,743 --> 00:02:25,677
( '50s rock music playing )
47
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:05,950
Weeds.
48
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,587
Okay, dick, it's time
To pick your secret santa.
49
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,923
It's time to who
For wha-wha?
50
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:14,660
- pick a name-- that's who
You buy a present for.
- presents? For christmas?
51
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,728
The bowl is heavy.
52
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,030
I'm sorry, judith.
53
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:22,100
Let's play
Secret santa.
54
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,472
Dr. Anthony?
I barely know him.
55
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,474
( women exclaiming )
56
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:32,810
Glansberg, chilton,
Lanell--
57
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:36,314
Dick, you don't get
To choose your person.
It's random.
58
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:39,083
You pick one name,
And it's a secret
Until the party.
59
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,752
Oh...
60
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,804
Well, I picked
My name,
61
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:03,307
And whoever it is
Hasn't the foggiest idea.
62
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:07,044
For now until the party,
Their life will be
63
00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:09,814
A topsy-turvy
Labyrinth of mystery
64
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,750
And intrigue.
65
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,254
For the love of god,
Let him draw again.
66
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:25,764
Well, hello-ho-ho,
Everybody,
67
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,500
And welcome to
Santa's toyland.
68
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,870
Presents, toys and fun
For children one to 91.
69
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,874
Oh, uh, please note
70
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,476
That children
16 to 91
71
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:41,212
Should not sit
On santa's lap.
72
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,214
Damn!
73
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,053
Thank you, and have
A happy and safe holiday
74
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:52,324
From all of us here
At the rutherford galleria.
75
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,126
Wow, you've been
Shopping your butt off.
76
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,529
Yeah.
It's christmas, right?
77
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,098
Oh, it's great, isn't it?
People buying stuff,
78
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,602
Lugging bags around,
Maxing out their credit cards.
79
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,070
It's like everyone
In the whole world
Is joined together
80
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:08,673
To embrace
Financial ruin.
81
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,044
- merry christmas.
- thank you,
82
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,213
And have a happy
And safe holiday
From all of us here
83
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,283
At the rutherford
Galleria!
84
00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,619
Merry christmas.
85
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,460
Merry christmas.
86
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,962
Merry christmas.
87
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,698
Merry christmas.
Merry christmas.
88
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,474
- merry christmas.
- oh!
89
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:45,477
She's coin-operated.
90
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,479
She says she has
The perfect gift for me,
91
00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,547
And I have no idea
What to get her.
92
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,616
Her name is
August lefler.
93
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:55,253
( chuckling )
Well, I don't
Know august, but--
94
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,923
Well, aren't you
Supposed to have some
Kind of list or something?
95
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,325
( chuckling )
96
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:04,328
Well, I'm afraid
I left my list
Up in the north pole.
97
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:07,465
Oh, great! Can't you
Have your wife fax it
To you or something?
98
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,534
I can't screw this up!
99
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,171
( chuckling )
Well, tommy--
100
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,173
Look,
101
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,675
You want to make
This august chick happy,
102
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:21,279
You're gonna have to drop
Some cold, hard cash,
You know what I'm sayin'?
103
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:25,617
On what?
Listen, pork butt,
I need model numbers here.
104
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,054
Get a haircut.
You look like a girl.
105
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,231
Again?
106
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,934
The root must be
Somewhere upstairs.
107
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:47,872
Ooh, is that the gift
You got for judith?
108
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:51,009
Or... Whoever it was
You happened to pick?
109
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,545
- yes.
- there's a $20 limit.
110
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,414
I know.
I went a little over.
111
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,150
A hundred and twenty
Dollars over.
112
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,187
It's easy to get
Carried away, isn't it?
113
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,922
You know, a few years ago,
I made a batch
114
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,293
Of my famous rum balls
For christmas.
115
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,762
They were so popular
That this year,
Just on a whim,
116
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,532
I made 20 batches,
Enough for the whole
Department.
117
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:18,736
Mmm. It's funny
That you would have
That much rum around.
118
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:23,608
- it's the holidays, nina.
- yes, nina, it's the holidays.
119
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:27,612
My dad would go out
And get the biggest
Christmas tree he could find.
120
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:31,550
We'd go caroling, open our house
To the neighborhood.
121
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,951
All that sharing
And generosity--
122
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,621
( gulps )
123
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,757
It's so beautiful.
124
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:41,125
Look how generous
I am.
125
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,995
I am christmas!
126
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,233
- hello, and happy holidays
From all of us here--
- where's my package?
127
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:52,136
I'm supposed to say
The whole thing.
Hello, and happy holidays--
128
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,338
Excuse me.
I was-- I was--
I was here first.
129
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,541
Excuse me.
I'm just picking up.
130
00:07:56,543 --> 00:08:00,345
Hey, hey, come on, people.
You're supposed to be happy.
This is shopping.
131
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,415
Yeah, well, I'm fed up.
Where the hell's
January already?
132
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:06,150
( all exclaiming )
133
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,453
What is wrong
With you people?
134
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:11,389
This isn't about
Buying gifts at all.
135
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,892
This is about viciousness
And ruthlessness
And aggression, and...
136
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,196
Usually I like
All those things, but...
137
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:23,301
But now, it's just
Really ruining christmas.
138
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,605
Just wrap!
139
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,011
All:
Aw-w-w!
140
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,748
Oh, don't worry,
Boys and girls.
141
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,750
Santa will be
Right back
142
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,986
After he takes care
Of some personal business.
143
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,924
On the toilet.
144
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:54,866
Oh, what are they
Feeding these kids?
They weigh a ton!
145
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,136
Well, you know, I think
Part of the problem is
We're feeding 'em candy.
146
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,672
Maybe if we could
Give them celery
Or some kind of--
147
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,777
Oh... Santa.
148
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:09,280
What are you--
I mean--
149
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:12,951
It's-- you--
150
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,453
No-o-o-o!
151
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:22,226
Dick:
♪ o tannenbaum, o tannenbaum ♪
152
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,797
♪ that's “christmas tree”
In german. ♪
153
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,668
- now, this is a christmas tree.
- hey, hey, buddy,
Can I help you?
154
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,804
Uh, no, thanks.
I have a chain saw.
155
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,073
- merry christmas.
- ( chain saw revving )
156
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:40,545
( siren wailing )
157
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,081
Merry christmas, officer!
158
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:51,956
“peace on earth,
Goodwill toward men”--
What a crock!
159
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,627
Nine hundred dollars
In fines,
160
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,829
And they confiscated
Your chain saw?
161
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,832
And have you ever
Felt a taser?
( grunts )
162
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,103
It's not nearly
As much fun
As it looks.
163
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,342
What a bunch
Of hypocrites!
164
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,978
Apparently,
The christmas spirit
Doesn't apply
165
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:17,148
When you're
Trespassing
And vandalizing.
166
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,953
Oh, let's face it,
Christmas is a sham.
167
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,555
How can humans take
Something like shopping,
168
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:27,392
Something pure
And natural and good,
169
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,693
And turn it into
Something so ugly?
170
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,862
This is not a holiday,
This is torture.
171
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:34,332
They know
Exactly what they want,
But they won't tell you.
172
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:37,134
No-o-o.
They make you guess.
173
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,270
This is just
So “earth.”
174
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:43,140
( scoffs )
Humans-- I don't want to play
Any of their reindeer games.
175
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,212
Choir:
♪ fa, la, la, la, la la, la, la, la ♪
176
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:50,215
- ♪ 'tis the season to be jolly... ♪
- oh, listen to them.
177
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:53,784
Singing like idiots.
Why did we want to be
Like humans anyway?
178
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,854
♪ fa, la, la, la, la la, la, la, la ♪
179
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,156
♪ troll the ancient yule-- ♪
180
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,524
( people screaming )
181
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,003
That's better.
182
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,645
And so we see that
That b equals
183
00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,680
2a over delta,
184
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,015
Which equals k times
185
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:28,853
mass over 2 pi delta, and therefore--
186
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,789
Leon.
187
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:34,826
- what are you
Passing around?
- oh, caryn made them.
188
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:38,596
- yeah, they're
Christmas cookies.
- oh, how christmasy.
189
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:41,298
All sparkly,
Red and green.
190
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:44,435
Oh, look.
One of santa's reindeer.
191
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,504
Watch him fly.
192
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:50,641
And look,
A little christmas bell.
193
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,710
♪ ding, dong ♪
194
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,946
I don't even know
What this is.
195
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,616
It was a snowman.
196
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,286
No, it was butter
And sugar and sprinkles,
197
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,355
All wrapped up
In empty sentiment
And holiday hypocrisy.
198
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,391
- ( bell ringing )
- ( all cheering )
199
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,261
Ho! Ho, ho, ho,
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
200
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,696
- where do you think
You're going?
- it's christmas break.
201
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:16,433
It is not
Christmas break
Until I say it is.
202
00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:19,337
Not until you've
Completed the following
Remedial assignment.
203
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:22,106
- ( all groaning )
- you will write
A 15-page dissertation
204
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:25,476
On wave physics
And its relation to
Electromagnetic radiation.
205
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,146
Oh, and a five-point bonus
If you can tell me
206
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,416
How the hell santa
Delivers all those toys
In one night.
207
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:36,787
It's to be typewritten and on
My desk no later than 6:00.
208
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:39,357
- tonight?
- but it's december 23rd.
209
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,325
Yeah, it's
Christmas eve eve.
210
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:44,262
Ohh, it is?
211
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,130
Well, tough tinsel.
212
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:53,337
Thank you and have a happy,
Safe holiday from all of us
Here at the rutherford galleria.
213
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,910
Bye-bye, now.
214
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:02,213
- hey, tommy.
- I finally found
Something for august.
215
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,615
- oh, perfume.
Is this what she wants?
- I don't know.
216
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,151
- so I also got her
A portable cd player.
- oh, she likes cds.
217
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,219
I don't know.
So I got her
Earrings... Oh, yeah,
218
00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:11,455
And a cellular phone
And a belt.
219
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,457
How did you afford
All this stuff?
220
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,860
- you know that jar of pennies
I have in my room?
- yeah.
221
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,363
It's where I hide
Dick's credit card.
222
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:27,272
Bartender,
Two fingers, no fat.
223
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,541
I believed in him.
224
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:33,811
I thought we were
Bringin' joy to the world.
225
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,014
I was gonna move
To the north pole
226
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,383
To work in his
Toy factory.
227
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:44,455
Well, look what
The cat dragged in.
228
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:49,660
You got a lot of guts
Comin' in here, fat boy.
229
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,662
Do I know you?
230
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:56,066
Oh, don't get cute
With me, kringle.
231
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,469
If that is
Your real name.
232
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:01,205
Hey, what's
Your problem?
233
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,207
You're my problem!
234
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,209
So what are you
Gonna do?
235
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,578
Get one of your reindeer
To kick me to death?
236
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,614
- hey, take it easy.
Take it easy.
- oh, mind your--
237
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,717
Whoa.
Wait a second.
238
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,187
But you-- he--
239
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,924
- is there a problem?
- ( screaming )
240
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,797
Man on radio:
♪ jingle bell, jingle bell jingle bell rock... ♪
241
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,866
( music continues )
242
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,370
You know, this is
The only time of year
I like white music.
243
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:38,109
What do you think, nina?
244
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,611
Mmm.
Too much egg.
245
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,147
- needs more nog.
- yep.
246
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,188
Mmm, that is
Good!
247
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:54,525
- rum ball?
- oh, spare me.
248
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:58,463
You better be nice
To me if you want
Your stocking stuffed.
249
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,467
- ( shuts music off )
- hey!
250
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:06,403
There will be no holiday
Cheer, nina, while there's
Work to be done.
251
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:10,741
- on christmas eve eve?
- I'll need all the grades
For my 10:00 class
252
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,910
Broken down
And re-tabulated
For the whole semester.
253
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,579
- on christmas eve eve?
- yes.
254
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:19,950
Dick, we need
Somebody tall to hang
The boughs of holly.
255
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:22,787
Fa, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, no.
256
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,225
- I guess I'd like the plaid--
- we're out of everything
257
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,995
But green foil
And happy snowmen.
258
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:35,700
- well, it's for my mom, so--
- you got your mom a dust miser?
259
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:39,203
How nice-- the gift
That keeps on sucking.
260
00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:44,909
- I just didn't know
What to get her.
- yeah, apparently not.
261
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:47,711
Wait a second.
Where was that--
Here you go.
262
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:51,549
A foot massager.
The woman needs a break,
For cryin' out loud.
263
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,551
- gosh, thanks.
- you're welcome.
264
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:56,321
- hey, that's
My foot massager.
- oh, poor baby.
265
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,423
- who's it for?
- my wife.
266
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:01,492
Wow, real romantic.
Here, wait a second.
267
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:04,662
Ah! Some exotic
Bath oils.
268
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,264
You can turn your wife
Into a slip 'n' slide.
269
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:11,135
- thanks.
- that-- that was
For my boyfriend.
270
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,470
Unless you have
A better idea.
271
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:16,240
As a matter of fact,
I do. Here.
272
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:19,476
International beer basket
From the liquor locker.
273
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,646
- oh, yeah! Thank you.
- you're welcome.
274
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,915
- merry christmas.
- merry christmas.
275
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,251
This is fun.
276
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:30,187
Hey, uh, diamond
Tennis bracelet.
Who wants one?
277
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,522
( all clamoring )
278
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,328
( holiday music playing )
279
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,330
All this laughing,
280
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,598
Opening their
Little presents--
281
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,135
Who needs christmas
Anyway?
282
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,703
I say, “bug humbar.”
283
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,808
You mean,
“bah, humbug.”
284
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:53,945
- “bah” what?
- you said, “bug humbar.”
285
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:56,613
- and?
- well, what does
“bug humbar” mean?
286
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:59,650
- well, what does
“bah, humbug” mean?
- forget it.
287
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,453
( muttering )
288
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:09,126
Here,
Merry christmas.
289
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:11,061
- you bought me a gift?
- yeah.
290
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:14,498
- so you were my secret santa?
- I was not your secret santa.
291
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:18,336
I just happen
To love christmas.
Now, open your damn present!
292
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,277
- well, what is it?
- it's a travel mug.
293
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,845
What's it for?
294
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:31,482
So you don't spill
Coffee in your lap
Every morning.
295
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,119
You noticed?
296
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,357
Uh, yeah.
297
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,794
- I need this.
- you're welcome.
298
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,932
Nina...
299
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,334
Forget the work.
Go to the party.
300
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:52,937
- are you sure?
- yes. Have a good time.
301
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,143
And nina,
302
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:01,812
M-merry christmas.
303
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,249
Merry christmas,
Dr. Solomon.
304
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:16,694
Where are those
Rum dreidels I made
For dr. Schwartz?
305
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,598
Mary, look what
Nina gave me!
306
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,000
I'm not talking to you.
You're ruining my christmas.
307
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:26,037
No, no, that was the old dick.
I think I've actually
Got the spirit.
308
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:28,139
I want to be a part
Of christmas now.
309
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,075
Well, pah-dum-
A-dum-pum.
310
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,813
- here you go, dr. Solomon.
- dr. Solomon.
311
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,982
( all clamoring )
312
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:40,817
- your papers?
- sorry we're late.
Don't take points off.
313
00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:45,122
- ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
- what are you doing?
We worked on those!
314
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,592
And in the spirit
Of christmas, I'm not
Even gonna read them.
315
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,793
I'm gonna give you
All cs!
316
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,462
- “cs”?
- yes!
317
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:54,064
Oh, what the hell.
It's christmas.
C-pluses!
318
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:57,367
- ( all cheering )
- go, go, go, all of you,
319
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,837
Trim your stockings
And stuff your trees!
320
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:02,006
Merry christmas!
321
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:05,142
God bless us,
Every one.
322
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,678
Judith! Judith!
323
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,815
Judith, come in here!
Judith, I'm your
Secret santa.
324
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,084
Get out.
325
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:17,521
- here. Merry christmas.
- merry christmas.
326
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,523
- and happy new year.
- same to you.
327
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,758
May your holiday
Be filled with
Lords a-leaping,
328
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,794
Ladies dancing,
Pipers piping,
329
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,862
Drummers drumming,
Geese a-laying,
330
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:27,864
- swans a-swimming.
- that will do.
331
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:32,970
♪ five golden rings! ♪
332
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:36,574
I know I've had
A lot of rum balls,
333
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,942
But that was
Really sweet.
334
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:41,078
It's just wonderful.
335
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,547
I thought christmas
Was all about
Stress and hostility
336
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,816
And handcuffs
And miranda rights.
337
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,586
But no, it's more.
It's so much more!
338
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,488
It's about giving
And sharing
339
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,056
And just...
Being human.
340
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:55,325
Come on, the party's
Still going on,
341
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:58,562
And I've saved
A special dance
For you.
342
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:00,564
Ohh.
343
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:04,101
Oh! That weed
Grew back again.
344
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,470
- it's mistletoe.
- mistletoe?
345
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,472
- yeah.
- well, what's it for?
346
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,407
I'll show you.
347
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:15,613
- merry christmas.
- oh, merry christmas to you.
348
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,248
But what's
The mistletoe for?
349
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,183
Dick!
350
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,353
Ohh.
351
00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:40,637
Ah. Well, I don't know
How the real santa's
352
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:43,173
Gonna slide down
This thing,
353
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,208
But he will.
354
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:49,079
Ah, what a lovely way
To mark our first
Anniversary on earth,
355
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,414
Our first anniversary
As humans.
356
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,583
Do you think
We'll ever really know
Everything there is to know
357
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,719
About being human?
358
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:59,289
♪ silent night, oh!
Holy night, oh! ♪
359
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:02,960
♪ all is calm, whoo!
All is bright, oh! ♪
360
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:06,330
♪ round yon virgin, oh!
Mother and child, hey! ♪
361
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:09,767
♪ holy infant, ho!
So tender and mild, ha! ♪
362
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:13,070
♪ sleep in heavenly peace ♪
363
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:15,973
♪ hey! Sleep
In heavenly peace ♪
364
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,943
♪ yow! Silent night, ho! ♪
365
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,811
♪ holy night, hey! ♪
366
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:25,115
Merry christmas, tommy.
367
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:33,623
- this?
- I made it myself.
It's the two of us. See?
368
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:36,126
( laughing )
369
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,128
What I got for you
370
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,131
Is so much better
Than this!
371
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,133
I mean, it is a joke
How much better
372
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,070
My stuff is
Than this!
373
00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:49,272
Which I love.
30923
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