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1
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,308
It's a perfect night
For observing.
2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,877
It's warm, dark.
The air is crystal clear.
3
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,146
Okay, they're in bed.
4
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,487
You know,
I'm not satisfied
5
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:24,823
Watching the mullers from afar.
This isn't what humans do.
6
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:28,394
Humans don't just
Observe each other.
They interact.
7
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:31,530
- we should make
Contact with them.
- ohh!
8
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,133
Here's something
Different.
9
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:39,338
You know,
Without their clothes,
They seem kind of...
10
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,340
- gelatinous?
- yeah.
11
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:45,710
- what is he looking for?
- I'm not sure yet.
12
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,915
Wait. Wait!
Yes, this is it.
13
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,917
I believe they're
Going to mate.
14
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,219
- sally: aw!
- ohh!
15
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,655
Tommy, pay attention.
16
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,690
Why? This is like
17
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,759
Sweating to the oldies
Without music.
18
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,063
This is important.
19
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,331
Sex is how humans enrich
Their relationships
20
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,733
And reaffirm the commitment
They've made to each other.
21
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,770
- it's the most sacred,
Intimate part--
- sally: they're done.
22
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,740
Already?
23
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,709
Thank you very much!
24
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,012
( 50's rock music playing )
25
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:53,778
- ( indistinct tv chatter )
- who is that smoldering beauty
26
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,648
With the fiery eyes?
27
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,584
Katie couric.
28
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,155
Katie couric.
29
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:06,825
It sounds like
Something beautiful
Stuck in your throat.
30
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,894
Mrs. Dubcek,
31
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,763
I need to go next door
And become neighborly.
32
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:16,101
- what do you know
About the mullers?
- they're lovely, very nice.
33
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,737
Of course,
I shouldn't talk.
34
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,740
It's true your voice is not
One of your best assets,
35
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,443
- but go ahead.
- all right.
36
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,678
The mullers have had
Their ups and downs.
37
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,048
I guess her husband
Had some problems
In the bedroom area.
38
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,950
Which area?
The closet?
39
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,353
That's what I thought
It was at first, too,
40
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,821
But it turned out to be
A vitamin deficiency.
41
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:40,492
Vitamin deficiency?
Mr. Muller and I
Can talk about that.
42
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,761
No, no. Stick
To sports or cars.
43
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:46,031
Cars, yes.
That's great!
44
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,966
I have a car.
45
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:52,504
Oh, why am I doing
This to myself?
46
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,807
She probably doesn't
Even know I'm alive.
47
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,778
No, she knows.
48
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,730
- hi there, neighbor.
You know anything about cars?
- is this your car?
49
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,667
Yeah. I seem to be
Having some trouble
With my...
50
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,868
Spark nuts.
51
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,806
Sometimes with these
Old ones,
52
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,808
You're better just
To call the junk man
And have it towed away.
53
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,477
No, I couldn't do that.
I love this car.
54
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,979
It has a compartment
Just for gloves.
55
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,115
- dick solomon.
- frank muller.
56
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,383
Haven't seen you
Around much.
57
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,019
I've seen a lot of you
And your wife.
58
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,226
She says you're
Some big deal professor
At the college.
59
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,728
Hardly. It's
Quantum astrophysics.
60
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,163
A drugged monkey
Could do it.
61
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,234
- what about you?
- I work the line
At the ball bearing plant.
62
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,236
- no, the cincor plant?
- yeah.
63
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,971
Are you kidding?
I love your bearings.
64
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,941
What do you make?
Thrust bearings
Or linear?
65
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:05,009
Actually, I do
Journal bearings.
66
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:07,779
Wow! Is that plain
Or rolling contact?
67
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,382
On a good day, both.
68
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,517
Man, the stories
You must have.
69
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,786
A few, a few.
70
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:21,126
- I thought you'd be
More of an egghead.
- no, all meat.
71
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:33,171
- woman: frank!
- there's the boss.
72
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,643
Well, I'll see
You around.
73
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,678
Oh, no big deal,
74
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,713
But your car's parked
75
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:45,350
About eight inches
Over the property line.
Could you watch that?
76
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,952
I'll go you one better.
I'll stop doing it.
77
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,888
Thanks, friend.
78
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,559
"Friend."
79
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,367
Watching television
Is amazing.
80
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,537
I haven't had a thought
In my head for three hours.
81
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:08,873
And that's just
The tip of the iceberg.
82
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,977
- pseudofamily.
- where have you been?
83
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,979
I have been...
84
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,981
In frank muller's garage.
85
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,451
We bragged, we laughed,
We tinkered.
86
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:22,354
He let me touch
His stuff.
87
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,356
It feels good to be
Around frank.
88
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:27,693
It fills an empty space
I've been feeling right here.
89
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,695
I think it's
Because we're friends.
90
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:33,332
♪ so no one told you
It was gonna be this way. ♪
91
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,904
- what is this?
- shake 'n bake chicken.
Just eat it.
92
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:43,274
No, this isn't chicken.
This is just... Flakes.
93
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,812
- okay, stay right there.
- sally, you must learn
To cook.
94
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,981
How far do you think
You're going to go
With just a fabulous body
95
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:53,284
- and the intellect of a genius?
- the box had a picture
Of a chicken on it.
96
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,688
I shaked it, I baked it.
What else am I supposed
To do with it?
97
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,624
Why don't you
Ask mrs. Muller?
Get close to her.
98
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:02,361
- do I have to?
- yes. They're plump.
We're emaciated.
99
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,363
You do the math.
100
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,531
Making a friend
Is so simple.
101
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:09,167
You may not be as good
At it as I am,
102
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,870
- but I command you to try.
- what is the point?
103
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,873
We're not going
To learn about humans
By watching television.
104
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,308
We have to mix
Ourselves among them,
105
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,245
Walk a mile
In their pants.
106
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,213
I just don't know how
To talk to women.
107
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,449
I'm sure you can find
Something to say to her.
108
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,619
You could walk on the beach
And discuss itching.
109
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:32,391
Oh, how exciting.
110
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,726
I am so glad
I get to be the woman.
111
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,829
Next planet, I get to be
Something big with horns.
112
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,433
Okay, so
The shake 'n bake
113
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:45,003
- is just a cocoon
For the chicken.
- yep.
114
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:48,006
And chiclets are not
Chicken at all, right?
115
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:51,175
- you're not from ohio,
Are you?
- no.
116
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,578
I can tell.
117
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,948
I don't envy you having
To take care of three men.
118
00:06:56,950 --> 00:07:00,018
I only got frank,
And he's a full-time job.
119
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,455
Just once I'd like to see
That man pick up a sock.
120
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:06,558
I'd like to see men
Put their dirty dishes
In the sink.
121
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,560
I'd like to see them
Do laundry.
122
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,229
I'd like to see them crammed
Between two steel wheels
123
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,197
And ground
Into a fine paste.
124
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:19,070
You know, I'd like
To see that myself.
125
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,105
You let me know.
126
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,242
( laughs )
127
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,278
- oh, you're dangerous.
- oh, yes, I am.
128
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:32,383
I like you.
You can come by anytime.
129
00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:34,619
I will.
130
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,621
But do me a favor,
131
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,558
Before you settle down
And get married,
You have some fun.
132
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,727
If I had your figure,
I'd find some old
Millionaire in florida
133
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,096
And slowly suck
The life out of him.
134
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,502
I have the very
Equipment to do that.
135
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,805
I'm sure you do.
136
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,843
- hi, neighbor.
- hey, how're you doin'?
137
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,512
Harry, tommy, this
Is frank, my friend.
138
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,014
- yeah, hi.
- is this place magnificent?
139
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,750
It's the garage mahal.
140
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:11,155
You gotta have
Someplace to get away
From the clucking.
141
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,026
( whistle blows on tv )
142
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,061
Ooh, color.
143
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,531
60 channels of it.
144
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,533
Knock yourself out.
145
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,002
- uh-huh, uh-huh...
- ( channels changing )
146
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,606
Dick, look.
Debbie says that
The new promax router
147
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,875
Can handle even
The wildest curves.
148
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,877
I don't know
If debbie realizes
149
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,912
That can be taken
Two ways.
150
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,148
Frank, this is new.
What is it?
151
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,183
- a back scratcher.
- may I?
152
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,185
Be my guest.
153
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,188
Oh! Oh, this
Is heavenly.
154
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,224
That spot has been
Driving me nuts
155
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,226
Ever since
We landed. Oh!
156
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,496
Please, keep it.
157
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,498
Really?
158
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,500
I've never received
A gift before.
159
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,569
I have to give
You something.
Take tommy.
160
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:02,473
- mrs. Muller: frank!
- that's the boss calling.
161
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,576
You know, it's fascinating,
Every time his wife calls,
162
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,310
He jumps.
163
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:09,247
- see you around.
- you can count on it.
I like you, frank.
164
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,650
After all the time
I've spent at the university,
165
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,086
It's refreshing to meet
Someone who doesn't
Pretend to be smart.
166
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,533
( orchestral theme music playing on tv )
167
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,172
"Jerry dates a blind
Girl. Repeat."
168
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,241
Jerry dates
A blind girl.
169
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,111
You know, it gains nothing
The second time.
170
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:43,281
Man on tv:
this has been a rebroadcast of the 11 o'clock news.
171
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:46,217
we will resume programming at 6:00 a.M.
172
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,152
( static )
173
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,456
It's the snow show.
174
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,126
I saw this one
Last night.
175
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,363
So what do we do now?
176
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,099
Why don't we go visit
Our friends, the mullers?
177
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,867
- harry: lets.
- great! Will they be home?
178
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,737
It's 3:00 in the morning.
Where else would they be?
179
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,207
( knocking )
180
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,546
- hi, neighbor.
- wh-what's the matter?
181
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,548
- nothing.
- it's 3:00
In the morning.
182
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,183
Patty said I could
Drop by anytime.
183
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,953
Don't worry,
We brought gifts.
184
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,388
A flank steak
For milady
185
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,058
And "The tv guide
Crossword" for monsieur.
186
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,394
And by the way,
The answer to
"I blank lucy"
187
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,396
Isn't what you think.
188
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,767
- who is this?
- that's my daughter cindy.
She's in college.
189
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:38,169
My compliments.
She's a definite triumph
190
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,171
Of aerobics
Over genetics.
191
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,943
I think someone would
Like to see her naked.
192
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,648
So, let's fire up
The barbecue.
193
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:52,416
Mrs. Muller:
frank, if you're in danger, shout!
194
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,687
- go back to sleep!
- you seem upset, frank.
195
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,689
- go home.
- why?
196
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,091
- maybe they want
To have sex.
- again?
197
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,593
- excuse me?
- it's not what
You're thinking.
198
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,263
It's just that we're
So fascinated by you.
199
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,666
We've never met
Anyone of your
Economic class before.
200
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,500
My class?
201
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,670
Like you're so much
Better than we are?
202
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,938
Well, yes,
But you'll evolve.
203
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,207
And until then,
We can still be friends.
204
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,410
Friends?!
You are not my friend.
205
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,980
( stammers )
We're best friends.
206
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,716
No, we're not!
Get the hell outta here!
207
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,285
( whimpers )
208
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,853
And another thing:
209
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:32,456
Get your precious car
Off my property!
210
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,060
Fine! We can tell
When we're not wanted.
211
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,000
- we're not wanted.
- harry: oh!
212
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,077
It seems that
Some of the...
213
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,312
Subtler principles
Of electron motion
214
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,715
Were beyond
Everyone's grasp.
215
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,550
- ( class groans )
- be thankful it's just a grade.
216
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,552
In most places,
This kind of performance
217
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,554
Gets you a spanking
That still burns
218
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,857
When you're
Blown out the airlock.
219
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:09,127
Dr. Solomon, are you
At least going to
Grade us on a curve?
220
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,662
Of course not--
I grade on a transient loop.
221
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,737
- what?
- it's very simple.
222
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,840
Your expected score
Is located here,
223
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,843
The parameters
Of your actual performance
Are here, here and here,
224
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,746
Driving the expectation
Versus performance data
225
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,915
Into the last three loops,
Two of which can't be seen
226
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,684
Because, of course,
They're factored
Only in time.
227
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,325
So is my "A"
Still an "A"?
228
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,494
Oh, caryn.
229
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,064
No.
230
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,868
This shouldn't be all
That difficult for you.
231
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,870
The interactions
Of elementary particles
232
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,873
Are far simpler
Than the interactions
Between people.
233
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,308
( sighs )
For example-- leon,
234
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,978
Do you have any friends
In this class?
235
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,147
Well, sometimes
I talk to caryn.
236
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,783
- so caryn is
Your friend?
- yes.
237
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,122
I see.
Pitman, you and bug
Are friends, right?
238
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,723
Yeah, since third grade.
239
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:16,527
We used to trade
Underwear on sleepovers.
240
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,696
Shut up.
241
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,266
And this friendship
Weathers all circumstance,
242
00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,402
Survives the frictions
Of daily life
Completely intact?
243
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,770
- absolutely.
- yeah, totally.
244
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,405
Even though
He thinks you're stupid?
245
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,639
You think I'm stupid?
246
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,474
Only in a good way.
247
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,743
So there you have it--
Friendship,
248
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,313
Obviously just
A big waste of time.
249
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,315
And yet everyone
On the planet
250
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,318
Gets all worked up
About these pointless
Little behaviors,
251
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,154
Blissfully unaware
Of the great
Vaporizing meteor
252
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,089
Due in 2015...
253
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,128
Which obviously doesn't
Exist because I'm kidding.
254
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,237
Patty, thanks for
Letting harry come along.
255
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:02,040
He's a little traumatized
By all the tension at home.
256
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,209
Whee!
257
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,778
So does frank know
You're with me?
258
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,714
No, I told him
I was setting a perm.
259
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,549
Does dick know
You're with me?
260
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,551
No, I injected him
With a sedative.
261
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,086
I've got at least
Two more hours.
262
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,788
Ooh,
Like "Thelma & louise,"
263
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,159
Except we just came
To the supermarket and
We haven't murdered anyone.
264
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,995
It's early yet.
265
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:27,065
They're so stubborn.
Why do men have
To be that way?
266
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,467
I'm still trying to figure
Out their fascination with
267
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,569
Burping the alphabet.
268
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,505
Now, the key to tomatoes
Is you gotta squeeze 'em.
269
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,607
If they're soft,
They're ready.
270
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,880
This one's ready.
271
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:45,884
I'm the high commander!
272
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,323
- president clinton: when our interests are challenged...
- what are you watching now?
273
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,760
It's the president
Clinton show.
274
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,762
He looks good on camera,
275
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,231
But his show
Is incredibly dull.
276
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,067
- dick, are you
All right?
- I'm fine.
277
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,236
- no, you're not.
- yes, I am.
278
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,772
Okay, but your back
Is starting to bleed.
279
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:12,410
I wish I had a remote.
Frank had a remote.
280
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,546
If you like frank so much,
Why don't you go live
At frank's house?
281
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,216
Sit down.
282
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,817
What is
Your big problem?
283
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,519
Nothing. I just
Reached out to frank,
284
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,221
And he kicked me
In the teeth
285
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,356
Because frank hates me
For no good reason.
286
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,793
- but, hey, that's frank.
- humans are not perfect.
287
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,629
Well, that's a convenient
Excuse, isn't it?
288
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:34,732
- you just can't admit
When you're wrong.
- oh, please.
289
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,802
It's not like
I've never bonded with
A life-form, lieutenant.
290
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,971
Yes, yes, we know.
You've bonded beautifully
291
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,407
With creatures
On nine different systems.
292
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:45,243
And those that
Wouldn't bond we ate.
293
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,913
It's different here, dick.
To bond with a human,
294
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:51,482
You have to give and take,
Like me and patty.
295
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,484
It's not worth
The trouble.
296
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,553
I can be perfectly content
As a disaffected loner.
297
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,621
( ratchet clicking )
298
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,889
Was that you?
299
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,592
No. And I
Always tell you.
300
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:07,231
Someone's towing away
The rambler.
301
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,733
It's muller!
302
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:11,735
Sally:
Why is he
Taking the car?
303
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,737
( car engine humming )
304
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,739
Because he knows
I love it.
305
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,741
Frank:
I told you, solomon--
306
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:21,346
eight inches over my property! ha!
307
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,415
- dick, what's wrong?
- I don't know.
308
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,451
There's an odd sensation
Moving through my body.
309
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,586
( dick groaning )
310
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,689
( screaming )
Who the hell does
That stupid sack of fat
311
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,657
Think he is anyway?!
312
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,795
- dick?
- I have a plan.
313
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,598
Remember, we're not allowed
To liquefy humans.
314
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,802
Okay, I have
Another plan.
315
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:48,039
That's it.
I'm invoking
A supreme directive.
316
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,875
- I'll need witnesses.
- ( dick groans )
317
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,844
- what is it?
- I want you to remember
Who you are.
318
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,780
- I'm the high commander.
- and what is the high
Commander's oath?
319
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,719
As high commander,
I vow to handle
All problems
320
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,821
With strength
And deliberation.
321
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,657
I will strive
To understand
Other life-forms.
322
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,993
I will avoid aggression
323
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:11,962
And make peace with
All those who piss me off.
324
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,570
- what are you doing here?
- tommy: dick.
325
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,572
We've come to apologize
And make a peace offering.
326
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:25,076
So the great professor
Offers the lowly chump
A present
327
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:28,913
- and makes it better.
- that's what we're hoping.
328
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,981
It's a double-sleeved
Roller bearing.
329
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,717
Look, you can talk
Down to me,
330
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,020
You can wake me up
At 3:00 in the morning,
331
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,022
But you can't buy me off.
332
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:40,324
- it's cambered.
- get out!
333
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,726
Aren't you
Listening, chunky?
He's apologizing.
334
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,064
Now, now, now--
We are not going to
Sink down to his level.
335
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,066
My level?
336
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,368
You people always go
Straight to the snob stuff.
337
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,504
Who are you calling "People"?
You want a piece of me, huh?
338
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,374
You want a piece, huh?
339
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,609
- ( indistinct
Whispering )
- oh.
340
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,179
You want to fight?
Come on! Come on!
341
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,581
- that's enough.
- get your hands
Off of me.
342
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:07,017
- sorry.
- I-don't-like it!
343
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,454
- please don't do that.
- oh, yeah, what are you
Gonna do about it?
344
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:13,124
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Egghead! Brainiac!
345
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,528
Dick, I am
So disappointed
In you.
346
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,663
I don't know
What happened.
I just lost control.
347
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,933
- yeah, well, you hurt a human.
- we are in so much trouble.
What if he talks?
348
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,070
- he won't if we
Finish him off.
- this is awful!
349
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:28,839
- well, you should
Feel awful, pal.
- but I don't.
350
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,841
I feel better,
And powerful.
351
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,843
This is why
People have friends--
352
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,146
So they can hit them.
353
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:38,749
This is incredible.
It's the best
I've ever felt!
354
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,853
Well, there's
The down side.
355
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,999
- hi.
- hi.
356
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,001
I'm so sorry
About all this.
357
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,003
Frank can be
Such an idiot.
358
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:01,038
How's your brother?
Is he licking his wounds?
359
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,375
He tried, but he
Couldn't reach 'em,
So he made harry do it.
360
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,613
Hello.
361
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,948
You let
Sleeping dogs lie,
Frank muller.
362
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,884
This is guy stuff.
Don't get your panties
In a wad.
363
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,589
That's some
Good advice, thanks.
364
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,259
So, uh, how're
You doin'?
365
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,595
- I'm swollen, thank you.
- ( chuckles ) so am I.
366
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,730
Why are you
Suddenly so civil?
367
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,832
Now we understand
Each other's boundaries.
368
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,868
You know my limits.
I know your limits.
369
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,903
Now we can respect
Each other.
370
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,306
Wait, let me see if I can
Get this straight.
371
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:38,042
In order to achieve
Each other's respect,
372
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,546
You had to resort to
Violent confrontation.
373
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,847
Now, doesn't that
Strike you as stupid?
374
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,886
- kids, huh?
- they don't
Understand the world.
375
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,191
So, uh,
We still friends?
376
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,125
Sure.
377
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,829
( weeping )
378
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,270
Okay, I finished
My letter.
379
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,339
"Dear president clinton,
380
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,575
I've seen
Your program on tv,
381
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,610
And I think
You need help.
382
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,814
Maybe in
The next episode
383
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,750
There could be gunfire
384
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,986
Or even some explosions.
385
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:25,690
I know I'd like that.
386
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,192
Thanks for letting me
Share my thoughts--"
387
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,695
Oh, I forgot to include
My name and address.
388
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,898
You know,
Patty is a woman
389
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,900
Of unexpected depth
And wisdom.
390
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,969
She does things
With contact paper
391
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,971
Most women
Can only dream of.
392
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,641
I think I finally
Understand
393
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,643
This compelling urge
To make friends.
394
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,878
It isn't intellectual
At all.
395
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,615
These bodies have
A basic physical need
For other people.
396
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,617
Well, in a biology
This primitive,
397
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,719
There are bound to be
A few weaknesses.
398
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:57,622
But that's the paradox.
It's not a weakness.
399
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,690
That need is what
Brings them together,
400
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:03,060
And that unity
Is an enormous
Source of power.
401
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:06,631
Yeah, it's
Powerful, all right,
But it's dangerous.
402
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:10,301
There are some urges
We're just going to
Have to learn to control.
403
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,570
Whoa! Their
Daughter's home.
404
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,308
Man:
♪ please, won't you be ♪
405
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,277
♪ my neighbor? ♪
406
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:24,348
( '50s rock music playing )
33813
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