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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,969
( '50s rock music playing )
2
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,968
- what are you doing?
- I'm waxing the floor.
3
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:40,305
It's nice to know
That every time I take
Some responsibility,
4
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,674
I move a step closer
To my promotion.
5
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,676
You're on the road
To the top.
6
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:47,346
And I don't care who
I step on to get there.
7
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,348
Well, nice job, harry.
8
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:52,617
Ha! Floor's so shiny,
I can see up my own dress.
9
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,888
That's enough.
10
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,823
Sally--
11
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,097
- you touched my radio.
- no, I didn't.
12
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,332
Yes, you did.
I always leave it tuned
13
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,334
To big country 902.1.
14
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,836
I turned it on, and out
Came mucho salsa 106.
15
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,839
Well, you used my leg razor
To shave your stupid face.
16
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:17,276
That's because the delicate
Handle is easier to grip.
17
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,178
Listen, mr. Anal,
I am sick--
18
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,181
Hey! Am I gonna have
To separate you two?
19
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,518
All we seem to do is argue
Ever since we came here.
20
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,888
- I don't want to talk about it.
- we studied nine galaxies
In perfect harmony.
21
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,057
And we didn't leave
Scuff marks.
22
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,228
We seem to be annoyed
With each other.
23
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:39,598
And as fascinating
As that is, it's
Irritating as hell.
24
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,367
- sally?
- I'm sorry.
I wasn't listening.
25
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,836
I just got a shooting pain
In my head when you
Began to speak.
26
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,838
August finds us
Quite charming
27
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,040
In our naive determination
To stay together.
28
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:52,043
You tell your little
Girlfriend august
To mind her own business.
29
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:56,014
- yeah, and don't drink
Out of the milk carton.
- ( spits ) fine.
30
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:58,383
Look at this.
We're failing here.
We're a family.
31
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:01,120
We're supposed
To be getting along.
We've got to work on this.
32
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:04,156
Could you please
Take this argument
Off my linoleum floor?
33
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,191
- come off it, harry.
- harry, you know what?
34
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:09,461
I'll give you your promotion
If you don't say "Really"
In the next two minutes.
35
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,762
- really?
- you lose.
36
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,764
Dick, she tricked me.
37
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,933
I don't want
To talk about it!
38
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,803
Well, I guess
39
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,406
I just can't have
Nice things.
40
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,292
( screams )
41
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,962
- what are you doing
Under my desk?
- sleeping.
42
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:47,466
- why?
- because the top of your
Desk is hard and cold.
43
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,701
You do have a bed
At home, don't you?
44
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,770
Yes, but I can't
Stand my house.
45
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,605
It's filled with...
46
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,641
Family.
47
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:59,545
- if I lived with my brother,
It wouldn't last a week.
- you have a brother?
48
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,547
That's great.
Tell me about him.
49
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:04,349
Well, he hasn't quite
Gotten settled yet.
50
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,485
I don't think he's
Met the right woman,
51
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,721
Not that women are
Put off by him.
Well, some are.
52
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:14,059
- most are.
- what does he do?
53
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,061
Something different
Every year.
54
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,730
Right now he's
Restoring houses.
I have a picture of him.
55
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,567
- is this him? What a gut.
- no, that's my mother.
56
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,638
- that's roy.
- why don't you call him?
I'd like to meet him.
57
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,907
- we don't get together much.
- you don't get along?
58
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,076
- no, it's just hard.
- does he live far away?
59
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,078
From my house?
60
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,581
Three, four blocks.
61
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:39,050
- so you choose to have
Nothing to do with him.
- that's not true.
62
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,885
- you don't see him.
- not very much.
63
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,722
- but you'd like
To see him?
- n-not very much.
64
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,758
- then you don't want to have
Anything to do with him.
- I didn't say that.
65
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,993
- well, why don't
You call him?
- fine, I'll call him.
66
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:51,830
- yes!
- we've been meaning
To get together.
67
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,833
- I'll ask him to drop by.
- wonderful.
68
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,969
And when he gets here,
Just act normal.
69
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,971
I'd ask you
To do the same,
70
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,474
But I'm afraid
That ship has sailed.
71
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,844
hello. roy?
72
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,284
Tommy, would you sign
My worksheet?
73
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,286
Sure. What
Did you do?
74
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,888
Well, I pre-peeled
All these bananas
75
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,823
For eating ease.
76
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,894
- well, good job, harry.
- yeah.
77
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,863
mangia. mangia.
78
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,800
Now I know
Why I like you, tommy.
79
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,002
You're always
Supportive and patient
With your family.
80
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,105
Just the kind
Of guy I am.
81
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,008
You spend a lot of time
Taking care of other
People's needs,
82
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,811
- except mine.
- yeah, well--
83
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:43,047
Wait, am I in trouble?
How did I get in trouble?
84
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:45,717
You're not in trouble.
We're in trouble.
85
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,052
I really hope we
Don't have to break up.
86
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:50,389
Break up? We're not--
When did we break up?
87
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:53,558
I think it would be good
If we focused more
On each other.
88
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,828
I'll show you focused.
Let's go to a movie
Friday night.
89
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,130
- I don't know.
- august, please.
Please?
90
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,700
- you're so needy.
- I'm sorry.
91
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,638
No, I like that
In a man.
92
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:14,112
No, sally, I will
Not apologize.
93
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,247
- and let me
Tell you what--
- ( dial tone )
94
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,183
Hello? Hello--
95
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,788
( line rings )
96
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:26,124
Sally, I am the high
Commander, and you are
Not allowed to hang up on--
97
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,126
( dial tone )
98
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,061
Hello?
99
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:34,599
- ( line rings )
- sally?
100
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,608
Dr. Solomon, this
Is my brother roy.
101
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,110
Whoa! Your head
Is huge.
102
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:48,112
Oh, thank you.
103
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,215
- enormous!
- it's a pleasure
To meet you.
104
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,217
How do you get
Any work done
105
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,353
With all these
18-year-old butts
Waving in your face?
106
00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:56,855
I try, I try.
107
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,890
- so, tell me
All about yourself.
- well...
108
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:02,427
I mean, it must
Be fascinating
Restoring houses.
109
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,465
I don't restore houses.
I sell vinyl siding.
110
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,034
I think you
Underestimate the effect
111
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,371
Vinyl has on houses.
112
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,974
Listen to her.
She's always bragging
On me 'cause she loves me,
113
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,976
- 'cause she's
My monkey girl.
- don't do the monkey girl--
114
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,712
Aren't you
The monkey girl?
No, you're the monkey girl.
115
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,681
- you want to hear
The monkey sound?
- please.
116
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,083
Please, not the monkey sound!
No-- ow! No, stop.
117
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,085
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
118
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,721
This is wonderful.
Playful sibling aggression.
119
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,723
It's fantastic.
Please continue.
120
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,158
Mary:
no-- ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah!
121
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,061
You must be roy.
We've spoken.
122
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,531
- I'm nina.
- hey! It's nice
To finally meet you.
123
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,800
Nice to meet you, too.
124
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:45,236
Gosh, you don't sound
Black on the phone.
125
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,407
It's just something
I picked up in spy school.
126
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,877
Ooh, he's nice.
127
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,013
I have a great idea.
128
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,349
Why don't the two of you
Come over for dinner
Tonight at 7:00?
129
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,652
- no, no, no, no.
- yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
130
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:04,255
- I think the monkey
Might want to go.
- yes, yes, yes!
131
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:07,292
Oh, wonderful.
Roy, you are
The perfect brother.
132
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,795
This is the guy you said
Was a pompous ass?
133
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,998
That's me.
134
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,557
Sally, the albrights will
Be here any minute now.
135
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,993
This is a special occasion.
Where's the salmon mousse,
136
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,595
The duck terrine,
The smoked chub?
137
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,332
You know, dick,
138
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:50,735
I have a cleaver
In my hand.
139
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,337
I got a date
With august.
Don't wait up.
140
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:55,339
Oh, no. No, no.
141
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:57,341
Dr. Albright
And her brother
142
00:07:57,343 --> 00:07:59,510
- are coming
To dinner tonight.
- so?
143
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,679
You've got to see
Them together.
144
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:04,249
They're just...
Adorable.
145
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:07,852
Their relationship
Is everything that
Our family's isn't.
146
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,921
Well, then you just
Take good notes
147
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:13,958
Because tonight is my chance
To get into braville.
148
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,795
You can go to braville
Some other time.
149
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,597
Mary:
hello! is it
safe to come up?
150
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,599
Come on up!
Come on up!
151
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:24,402
Welcome,
Albright children.
152
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,872
Oh, allow me
To take your coats.
153
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:31,710
Dick, make a note of it.
I am taking initiative
And their coats.
154
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,644
Good for you, harry.
155
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,381
That's my brother
Harry,
156
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:39,550
And this is tommy,
My son.
157
00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:42,020
Hey, partner!
How're you doin'?
158
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:45,623
Hey, what's that?
A quarter?
159
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,793
Oh, I get it.
You're trying to
Impress a youngster
160
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:52,563
With what you think
Is a mystifying feat
Of trickery.
161
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,565
He's a smart one,
This one.
162
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:57,135
Cut your hair.
You look like a girl.
163
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,303
Here. Sit down.
164
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:03,141
Everybody just make
Yourselves comfortable.
Let me have that.
165
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,977
- can I have
A glass of that now?
- harry, take the wine.
166
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,212
Wine taken.
167
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,214
Jordan h. Almonds!
168
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,784
You are one
Beautiful woman.
169
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,853
Why does
Every man I meet
170
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,856
Have to remind me of that
Like I'm going to forget?
171
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,259
Sally, as siblings,
172
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,427
Roy and mary
Are fun-loving
173
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,997
And playful.
174
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,299
You know, mary and I are
Thick as thieves.
175
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,301
Monkey, remember the time
176
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,237
Mom found all my "Playboys,"
And you said they were yours,
177
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:36,174
And you had to spend
Two years in therapy?
178
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,243
Harry, come on in here.
179
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,713
Let's all, uh...
Be sociable.
180
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,882
- here--
- I was sitting there.
181
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,884
Just--
Just relax.
182
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:49,287
Interact naturally.
183
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,992
Okay, roy, I'll tell you what.
184
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,394
Why don't you start
Things off by telling us
185
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,529
Some amusing family story?
186
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,665
Well, I don't know
How amusing this is,
187
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:04,002
But this is the most
Amazing thing that
Ever happened to me.
188
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:07,739
No one wants to hear
Your stupid story.
189
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:12,476
No, I think they do want
To hear my stupid story.
190
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,445
No, they don't.
191
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,982
Yes, they do want
To hear my stupid story.
192
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,985
Dick:
this is fascinating. roy, roy, roy!
193
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,988
Please continue.
194
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:27,125
You're going to think
I'm crazy, but...
195
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,293
I was once... Abducted
196
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,295
By an alien spacecraft.
197
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,101
( groans )
198
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,742
Excuse us.
199
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,877
Mary:
you promised you wouldn't talk about that.
200
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,113
I promised I wouldn't talk
About your chin implant.
201
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:50,882
No, no, no!
We're not killing anyone.
202
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,927
Spacecraft, you say?
203
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,035
Roy:
I guess a layman
204
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,171
Would call it
An abduction,
205
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,874
But what those space people
Did to me that night
206
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,943
Was more of
A spiritual kidnapping.
207
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,182
Yeah, right,
208
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,485
Aliens traveled billions
Of light years through space
209
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,487
To ram a probe
210
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,555
Up roy albright's butt.
211
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,427
Tell us about
The space people, roy.
212
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,997
I'm driving along the road
One night really late,
213
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,399
And then I pull off
Into this cornfield.
214
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,634
And then all of a sudden,
215
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,970
I see this rip
In the atmosphere.
216
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,406
And then hovering
Right over my head
217
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,910
Is this giant
Hovering thing.
218
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,515
It was
A weather balloon.
219
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,488
Except weather balloons
Don't poke you in the eyes
With needles.
220
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,160
Well, that doesn't sound
Like anyone we know.
221
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,064
I mean...
222
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,433
we know.
223
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:19,003
- go on.
- I'm in the spaceship,
224
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,405
And I'm surrounded
By all this...
225
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,774
- foam?
- exactly.
226
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,776
Roy, you were never
In a spaceship.
227
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,446
I was in a spaceship
And I have the scars
To prove it!
228
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:31,349
Roy lewis albright,
If you have one decent
Bone in your body,
229
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,518
You will not
Do this to me.
230
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,955
So, anyway,
You can see where...
231
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,057
That's it, no more.
I need some air.
232
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,760
- dr. Albright!
- let her go, dick.
Go on, roy.
233
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:44,195
The next thing I know,
I'm being sucked up
234
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,297
Inside this big hose.
235
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,366
- sally: the big hose?
- the big hose.
236
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,871
Dick:
Roy, will you excuse us?
237
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,145
- sally:
Now we have to kill him.
- you are overreacting.
238
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,345
Dick,
He could turn us in.
239
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,114
Do you really want
To be the subject
240
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,050
Of some alien autopsy show
On the fox network?
241
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,052
You're jumping
To conclusions.
242
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:10,155
And fox is
Not a network.
243
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,858
We don't have
All the facts yet.
244
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:17,428
- I'm in charge of security,
And I say we kill him.
- I am the high commander,
245
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,463
And I'm putting
This decision on hold.
246
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,333
I'm going to
Check on dr. Albright.
You go entertain roy!
247
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,038
I'll pull a quarter
Out of his ear.
248
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,843
I'll pull his brain
Out of his ear.
249
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,013
- you all right?
- yeah.
250
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:38,116
I'm sorry about roy.
I told him not
To tell that story,
251
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:41,352
- but he never does
Anything I ask.
- that's sally all over.
252
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:44,722
It's hard being the oldest.
They think we're trying
To run their lives.
253
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,391
When all we're trying
To do is control them.
254
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,296
Do you think that roy...
255
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:54,632
Actually was...
Abducted by aliens?
256
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,634
No,
257
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,804
But I prayed for it
Every night as a kid.
258
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,806
What about you?
259
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,709
Do you think there's
Intelligent life up there?
260
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,711
There?
( laughs )
261
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,947
No, not there.
262
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,883
There.
263
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:15,486
- dick, can I talk
To you for a second?
- can't you see I'm busy?
264
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,655
Okay, let me
Rephrase this.
265
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,524
( pointed )
Dick, can I talk
To you for a second?
266
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,329
Excuse me.
267
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,734
- this had better be important.
- I don't know if it's
Important or not,
268
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:32,737
- but you know that cornfield
Down by the interstate?
- yes.
269
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,606
Sally took roy
There to kill him.
But sorry to interrupt.
270
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,608
Oh, damn!
271
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,044
She's willfully
Disobeying my orders.
272
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,780
And in a cornfield?
That's such a cliché.
273
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,886
So, hey, the kids went
Down to the cornfield
To have a little fun.
274
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,889
- let say we join them.
- I don't want to go
To a cornfield.
275
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:54,192
Maybe the monkey wants
To go to a cornfield.
276
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,861
- what?
- does the monkey want
To go to a cornfield?
277
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,863
Don't you dare.
278
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,799
- all right,
All right, all right!
- good, let's go!
279
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,701
Hello?
280
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,404
- august?
- we had a date tonight.
281
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,739
Cornfield time.
282
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:16,013
Either you go with him
And live his life,
283
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,115
Or you come with me
And live yours.
284
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,184
But he needs me.
285
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,186
Fine.
286
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:25,022
Maybe next week
You can try and get
To first base
287
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:28,626
- with your dad.
- dick: tommy!
288
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,494
Bye-bye, dick.
289
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,302
I like the way
You work.
290
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:41,071
You looked,
You saw, you took.
291
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,508
Now, can we lose
Forrest gump over there?
292
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:49,347
You're absolutely right.
I'll go talk to him.
293
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,486
I can handle this
Myself.
294
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,488
Please, sally,
Let me kill him.
295
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,324
- it'll look so good
On my résumé.
- the answer is no.
296
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:02,626
Oh, sally, please.
297
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,795
- please.
- ( sighs )
298
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:07,498
All right.
You want the job,
It's yours,
299
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,500
But we do it my way.
300
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,502
Hey, what's going on
Over there?
301
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,638
The action's over here.
302
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,342
Coming!
Okay, take this rock.
303
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:22,079
When you hear me say
The words, "Big dipper,"
Bash him over the head.
304
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:25,649
- can you do that?
- prepare to be dazzled.
305
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,787
( owl hooting )
306
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:34,692
- so you couldn't
Shake him, huh, babe?
- no.
307
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,694
Uh...
308
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:40,063
Roy, look over there.
It's the big dipper.
309
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,065
- roy?
- oh, yes.
310
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:45,302
No, that's orion's belt.
311
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,507
Excuse me.
312
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,643
Give me the rock, rockhead!
Now just stand guard.
313
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,645
- prepare--
- shut up!
314
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,519
You sure you don't mind
Seeing this movie?
315
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,854
Oh, no.
Anne bancroft,
316
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,989
Olympia dukakis,
And holly hunter?
317
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:08,893
What teenage boy wouldn't
Want to see this movie?
318
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:14,264
August, do you get along
With your family?
319
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:17,435
No. My father doesn't
Give me any credit.
320
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,537
He still treats me
Like a little kid.
321
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,040
- he doesn't recognize
How old I am on the inside.
- me, too.
322
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:26,176
- you know, we really have
A lot in common.
- yeah, we do.
323
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,178
You really want
To see this movie?
324
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:30,548
There's no one
In my house.
325
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,584
- I want to see
The movie.
- me, too!
326
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:36,520
See how much
We have in common?
327
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,522
Two, please,
For, um...
328
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:40,491
"They came to talk."
329
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:47,364
You're a big girl,
Aren't you?
330
00:17:50,035 --> 00:17:52,803
You know what
Really makes me hot?
331
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,372
Tell me.
332
00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,441
The back
Of a man's head.
333
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:02,379
Well, then feast
Your eyes on this.
334
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:05,716
- oh, yeah!
- whoa! Dick is coming.
335
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,085
Halt operation kilroy.
336
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,056
Dick,
What a pleasant surprise.
337
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:15,092
You'll know this one.
Now, is that the big dipper--
338
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,328
Don't try to kiss up.
Your ass is grass.
339
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,831
I can't believe
You, roy.
340
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,868
This is where that
Ufo story always ends up--
341
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,970
You and a woman
In a cornfield.
342
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:28,005
You make me sick.
343
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,240
I did not ask
To be beamed
344
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:33,276
On board that ship
Of unspeakable horror.
345
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:36,747
Excuse me. Beamed?
You said "Sucked."
346
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,416
- no, I said "Beamed."
- who heard "Sucked"?
347
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,223
- well, yeah.
- you're lying.
348
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,591
- I'm lying.
- he's lying.
349
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,560
I have had it
With you.
350
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,395
Name one thing
I did wrong tonight.
351
00:18:51,397 --> 00:18:55,032
You lied,
You embarrassed me,
You were yourself.
352
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,236
Well, if you're
Going to nitpick,
353
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:01,471
- I'm leaving.
- thank god.
354
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,674
So, I'll see you
On mom's birthday?
355
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,844
- yeah. You want to
Go in on a present?
- nothing over 40 bucks.
356
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,779
You got it.
357
00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,286
I need a ride.
358
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:20,758
- oh, really?
- sally.
359
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,159
Whatever.
360
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,629
Hey, wait for me.
361
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:31,101
- what just happened here?
- what do you mean?
362
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,804
You're going to see him
At your mom's birthday?
363
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,674
Yeah. It's a birthday.
He's family.
364
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:41,045
So, no matter
How obnoxious you are,
365
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,814
How much of a burden
You become,
366
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:46,516
You can still count on
The forgiveness
Of your family?
367
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,518
Yeah.
368
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,622
Even if they touch
Your radio and refuse
To make smoked chub
369
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,624
And disobey your orders
Not to kill?
370
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,462
Yeah, even then.
371
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,900
That is so beautiful.
( gasps )
372
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,868
I'm a brother.
373
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,479
All right, dick,
Come on.
374
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:18,949
I disobeyed orders.
I deserve some punishment.
What'll it be?
375
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,685
Well, sally,
Ordinarily I'd send you
To some desolate moon
376
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,687
And make you stand
In a crater
377
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:26,423
And think about
What you've done,
378
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:28,425
But I've realized
379
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:31,495
That I've got to
Accept your flaws
And your inadequacies
380
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:33,497
Because you're
My sister now.
381
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:36,133
And even though
Sometimes you tick me off,
382
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,469
I think I...
I love you.
383
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:45,009
- what?
- you're my little sister,
384
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:47,044
And I love you.
385
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,146
Now, how does that
Make you feel?
386
00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:52,549
Well, um...
387
00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:55,819
I want to blame you
For everything and push
You off the roof.
388
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:58,188
Well, that's great,
Because dr. Albright
389
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,524
Loves her brother
And she feels the same way.
390
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:02,893
Great, 'cause
That's how I feel.
391
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,729
- I'm so glad we've
Got that settled.
- me, too.
392
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,731
Whoa!
393
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,667
( crashes )
394
00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:13,704
I love you, too.
395
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:17,074
Dick:
I'm so happy!
396
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:25,182
( '50s rock music playing )
32754
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