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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,831 [Ingmar] Hey, Graham, 2 00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:09,705 I've been meaning to ask your advice on something. 3 00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,707 Well, hit me, buddy. 4 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:14,579 I've been thinking about getting myself a guitar. 5 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:19,062 Do you have a favorite guitar? 6 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,939 [Graham] 1959 Gibson Explorer. 7 00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,767 That's my baby right there. 8 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,073 How much? 9 00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,119 I'd say at least 250. 10 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,381 $250? 11 00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:35,818 $250,000. 12 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,298 Ooh! 13 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,082 Now, that is a lot. 14 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,953 And when did you take this? 15 00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:42,607 -The photo? -Yeah. 16 00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,044 Just last week. 17 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,048 So... 18 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,050 how come you filed an insurance claim two months ago 19 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,529 saying it was stolen? 20 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:55,316 What the fuck is this, Frisco? 21 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,057 His name is not Frisco. 22 00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,407 It's Axel. 23 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:02,323 And his name is not Ricardo the Magician. 24 00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:06,370 It's Ingmar. 25 00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:09,460 And you have just been busted for insurance fraud. 26 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,071 Wait. 27 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,421 You just pretended to be my friend for two months 28 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,466 just so I'd show you that photo? 29 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,120 That's right. 30 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,427 What about Paintball Thursday? 31 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:22,082 Not going to be any more of those. 32 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,909 And when I broke up with Melissa, 33 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,869 you just gave me a hug and said, "Bros before hoes." 34 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,959 Yeah, I... I don't believe that. 35 00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:33,528 And what about those nights we just looked up at the stars 36 00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,965 talking about the future, man? 37 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:40,883 We're not going to open up a microbrewery, Graham. 38 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,015 Who the fuck are you guys? 39 00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,279 We're dicks. 40 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:48,325 Swedish dicks. 41 00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:23,099 So then I realized what the confusion was about. 42 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,448 Yeah? What? 43 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,189 Because I'd written in my profile 44 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,625 that I was a big Chris Rock fan. 45 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,192 -Sure. -That's what I thought I wrote. 46 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,715 But I had autocorrect on. 47 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,717 So actually what I'd written was, 48 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,415 "I'm a big Christian rock fan." 49 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:35,807 -Oh. -And, by the time 50 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,287 we cleared up the confusion, 51 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,723 the concert was almost over. 52 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:42,118 Did you crack the clam, at least? 53 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,815 I'm sorry, what? 54 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,426 Did you open the oyster? 55 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,471 Uh, no, she wanted to wait till marriage. 56 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,430 -Hey, Dad. -[Ingmar] Hi. 57 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,823 [door closes] 58 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,825 So, uh, do you know what this is about? 59 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:56,045 He wants to talk to you about something. 60 00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,919 Dad? 61 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:04,227 Uh, well, Axel... 62 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,143 you saved my life. 63 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,927 You killed Tex, 64 00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,234 and I know it's been very hard for you to cope with that. 65 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,280 But, um... 66 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:18,633 I think what my dad is trying to say is he's really happy 67 00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,287 to be working with you. 68 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,766 That's right. 69 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,029 Ingmar, you don't know what this means to me. 70 00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,509 -Oh, he's not done yet. -Oh, sorry. 71 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,294 Yeah, these last couple months, 72 00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,426 we've been doing some great money. 73 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,559 And it's not entirely because of me. 74 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:34,388 I want us to become partners. 75 00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,041 Real partners. 76 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,435 Fifty-fifty partners. 77 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:41,482 Which means you're going to get half of the profits. 78 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,919 I thought I already got half. 79 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,618 I don't... uh, no? 80 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,360 [Ingmar] And I want us to go legit. 81 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,406 [Axel] "Applying for your PI license." 82 00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:55,974 I want us to take the Dicks to a whole new level. 83 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,238 Oh, now he's done. 84 00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:02,546 Ingmar, you don't know what this means to me. 85 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,331 Do you know how many nights I've dreamt 86 00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:07,812 of you opening up to me, to connect with me as a human-- 87 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,553 I take it back. 88 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,512 -No, no, you can't take it back. -I take it back. 89 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,383 No, it's too late. I'm already happy. 90 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,429 [cell phone rings] 91 00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,344 Swedish Dicks. 92 00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,302 Mm-hmm. 93 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,783 Can you meet us at the office tomorrow morning? 94 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,828 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 95 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:27,397 Did you say you were street performers? 96 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,182 Yes. 97 00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,576 Or sidewalk entertainers, if you will. 98 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,404 You are the guys on Hollywood Boulevard 99 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,711 dressing up like superheroes for tips? 100 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,843 There is a little bit more to it than that. 101 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,237 -We're actors, man. -Of course. Sorry. 102 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,195 -Ingmar didn't mean to... -[Elvis] Don't worry. 103 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:47,330 It's just sometimes people don't understand what we do. 104 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:50,159 I just tell people to watch Inside the Actors Studio 105 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,508 with Dustin Hoffman. 106 00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:54,859 Like, just watch it, then we'll talk. 107 00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,253 So now that we cleared that up, 108 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,255 what brings you to the Swedish Dicks? 109 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,691 [sighs] 110 00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,345 We have a thief amongst us. 111 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,347 A thief? 112 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,610 We suspect that one of the street performers 113 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,439 uses the gig to get close to tourists. 114 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,355 Then he steals wallets, purses, 115 00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:15,010 anything he can get his dirty hands on. 116 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,751 Rumor's starting to spread, 117 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:19,406 as if people didn't hate us enough. 118 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:22,452 Business owners have started to call the cops on us. 119 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:25,455 And there have been beatings. 120 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:26,717 Beatings? 121 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:30,330 Vigilante tourists out for blood. 122 00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,899 So if we catch this guy, you'll have some peace and quiet? 123 00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,118 [Elvis] The cops can't find him. 124 00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:38,903 You guys are our only hope. 125 00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:41,079 Our only hope. 126 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,570 I think it's kind of beautiful what these guys do. 127 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:54,702 Those guys? 128 00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:56,704 -Yeah. -Come on. 129 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,663 Well, they come to California with dreams of becoming actors. 130 00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:03,275 And then years pass, decades. 131 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,365 But they don't give up on their dream. 132 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,716 Someone should tell them if it hasn't happened yet, 133 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:12,633 it's probably because they suck at acting. 134 00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,330 That's a little harsh. 135 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,725 The truth is harsh, Axel. 136 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:20,336 They should do porn. 137 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,685 What? 138 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:25,907 [Sun] Marilyn Monroe, Bette Davis. 139 00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,648 "Oh, who's at the door?" 140 00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:30,390 "Superman and Shrek." 141 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,914 Bow-chicka-bow-bow, chicka-bow-bow. 142 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,351 [Sun laughs] 143 00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,399 [car horn honks] 144 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,140 He took my wallet. I just turned around, and it was gone. 145 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:44,839 And then I turned to Marmie to tell her, and she was like... 146 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:48,408 "Fred, my purse is gone." 147 00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:51,454 I literally said it just like that. 148 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,021 And you didn't see anything else? 149 00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,501 His clothes, nothing? 150 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:57,155 I just felt something weird in my pants, 151 00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,418 and then it was over. 152 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,550 Well, I know that feeling. 153 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:07,470 I was taking the photo of, uh, my beautiful femmeBernadette. 154 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:11,387 She was, uh, eating a Popsicle, looking very cute. 155 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,910 -What? -So then I put-- 156 00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:15,260 I put down ma caméra. 157 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,828 The-- ou est ma caméra? Ou est ma caméra. 158 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,090 -What? -Saw him 159 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,875 from the corner of moneye. 160 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,398 The corner of you what? 161 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,922 He saw the thief! You not speak English? 162 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,489 Oh, did you see what he looked like? 163 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,492 Oui.He looked like that. 164 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,799 [Ingmar] Zorro. 165 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,236 [man] Oui,Zorro! 166 00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,855 You know what "zorro" means? 167 00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,727 -No. -"Fox." 168 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,598 Yeah? 169 00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,687 Hey, did you see that Antonio Banderas movie? 170 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,255 I mean, it's not my favorite Banderas movie, to be honest. 171 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:56,563 But is it in my top five? Well, uh, let's see. 172 00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,173 It's definitely better than Spy Kids. 173 00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,783 [Sun on radio] Angry Bird to Viking One. 174 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,655 I got eyes on Zorro. 175 00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:04,005 Viking One to Angry Bird. What's your 20? 176 00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:06,529 Going west on Hollywood Boulevard, 177 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,878 approaching your position. 178 00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,228 He be there in minus one minute. 179 00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:12,100 [Ingmar] Come on. 180 00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,546 Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 181 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,069 You stay off Hollywood Boulevard, 182 00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:27,985 or there will be consequences, you punk! 183 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,639 We know what you've been up to. 184 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,554 I don't know what you're talking about. 185 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:34,122 You have been committing petty theft on several occasions. 186 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:37,647 Wait, you think I'm the pickpocket? 187 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,475 Yeah, that's right, homeboy. 188 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,129 I just had open carpal tunnel surgery. 189 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,132 How am I going to be the pickpocket, man? 190 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,961 -Sorry. -We had information 191 00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,224 that it was Zorro who was doing it, so that's... 192 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:52,357 Well, looks like you guys got your work cut out for you. 193 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:56,144 Ever since that new movie came out, everybody want to be Zorro. 194 00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,714 -[Axel] Oh. -[Ingmar] Yeah. 195 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:04,500 Okay, we have some bad news, and we have some good news. 196 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,590 The good news is that we know who's been doing it. 197 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,983 It's Zorro. 198 00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,115 [Ingmar] Yeah, but the bad news is, 199 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,421 there's a lot of Zorros out there 200 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,205 because of this new movie. 201 00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,686 The good news is that they seem to have found a way 202 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,906 to give Zorro a bit more psychological depth. 203 00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,647 That's impressive. 204 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:23,737 Bad news is, that doesn't help us. 205 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,216 But the good news? 206 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,436 We do have a plan to catch this guy. 207 00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:32,180 But the good news is that due to these new circumstances, 208 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:34,095 it's going to cost you a bit more. 209 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,140 The good news for us, that is, yeah. 210 00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,578 You guys have a strange way of talking. 211 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,014 Hmm. 212 00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,842 I agree. 213 00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:53,897 [woman] Next? 214 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:57,771 [Axel] Hello, we're a couple of Swedish dicks. 215 00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,511 -Detectives. -And we would like to apply 216 00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,426 for our PI license. 217 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:07,084 So just fill these forms out and return them when you're ready. 218 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,652 And if everything checks out, you'll get your license 219 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,523 in the mail in about two weeks. 220 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,786 That's all? 221 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,831 I should have done this years ago. 222 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,444 [Jane] Ingmar and Axel. 223 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,011 [Ingmar] Jane. 224 00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:23,666 How lovely to see you both. 225 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,451 You're in a good mood, for a change. 226 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:27,714 You see, I just closed a tough case 227 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,498 involving corporate espionage. 228 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:32,022 And I'm about to celebrate with some good friends 229 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,850 from the Hollywood in-crowd. 230 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,286 This is Chantel. 231 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:39,160 And this is my rapper friend, Ill Cosby. 232 00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,118 He's very provocative. 233 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,642 Hi. 234 00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,295 What are you two doing here? 235 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,557 Well, I'm-- 236 00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,342 You're getting your license. 237 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:50,737 It's just wonderful that they've relaxed the rules a bit. 238 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:54,044 It used to be that only good detectives were admitted. 239 00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:57,265 But what does that even mean, right? 240 00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,788 Yeah, right. 241 00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,921 And I suppose you're here for moral support? 242 00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,532 No. Actually, I'm... 243 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:04,794 Oh, my God. 244 00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,535 [laughs] 245 00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:08,711 You want to be a detective, too? 246 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,757 I am a detective. 247 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,062 "I am a detective." 248 00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,064 Aw, yes, you are. 249 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,326 Yes, you are. 250 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,328 You're a great big dick. 251 00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,634 [laughs] 252 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,201 That's too cute! 253 00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:27,643 No, I don't want to do some super-easy undercover work. 254 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,646 I don't understand why you two can't do this on your own. 255 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,735 Because our covers are blown. 256 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,825 And I think it's time for you to start learning these things. 257 00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,740 What things? 258 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,308 You're not going to be a lawyer your entire life, are you? 259 00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:42,223 Dad, I am not going to be a PI. 260 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,965 Look, what Ingmar's trying to say is that it'll be fast. 261 00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:49,012 Listen, we want this guy to steal your phone. 262 00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,579 But it's not going to be your phone. 263 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,624 It's going to be my phone. Do you know why? 264 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,801 So you can track it? 265 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,804 So we can track it. 266 00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,283 Fine. 267 00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,677 -Yeah. -But I have a thing at 7:00. 268 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,723 We'll be done in an hour. 269 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,380 [radio crackles] 270 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,905 Ally McBeal to Viking One. 271 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,950 [Ingmar] Viking One to Ally. 272 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,691 Dad, I've already been here for two hours. 273 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,127 I've really got to go. 274 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,042 Okay, Sarah, you got another Zorro 275 00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,565 on your five o'clock. 276 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,090 Try to get closer. 277 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,094 He left. 278 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,836 Just skip him, move to the next. 279 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,407 Hello, girl. 280 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:37,800 What is your name? 281 00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,106 What? 282 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,585 What's up, What? 283 00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,326 Want to hang out later? 284 00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:44,111 What? No, fuck off. 285 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,549 Move to the next. 286 00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:50,813 You know what the problem is with girls like you? 287 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,293 Is that you're superficial. 288 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,121 Because I don't have a cool job or cool car, 289 00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,862 that makes me a loser, right? 290 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,298 Well, I feel sorry for you, 291 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,866 because you're empty inside. 292 00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:03,957 And you just said no to a great guy. 293 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:08,004 [Ingmar] Sarah, don't listen to him. 294 00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:10,180 Okay, look, sorry, guys. Looks like he's not gonna show. 295 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,834 I've really got to go. 296 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,010 Well, can you just give us 15 more minutes, hon? 297 00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:17,187 Dad, I have to go. It's a date. 298 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,102 What's his name? 299 00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,801 You know what? That's it. I'm leaving. 300 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,064 And by the way, Axel, it's Brad. 301 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,980 Brad? Don't like the sound of that. 302 00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,546 What does he do? 303 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,200 He's a lawyer. 304 00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,289 [Ingmar] Never trust a lawyer, Sarah. 305 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,161 They only got one thing on their mind. 306 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:36,163 Dad, I'm a lawyer. 307 00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:38,513 Yeah, but you're one of the good ones, obviously. 308 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,428 Well, so is Brad, Dad. 309 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:41,777 -"Brad Dad." -What? 310 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,605 "Brad Dad." 311 00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,825 You need to read up a little on the overprotective Dad trope 312 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,001 and how it relates to toxic masculinity. 313 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,046 Wait! He's here! 314 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,179 -Who, Brad? -Zorro! 315 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,964 Okay, so, what do you want me to do? 316 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,314 Just wait for it. 317 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,231 -He got it! -Zorro's got the bag. 318 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,538 I repeat, Zorro's got the bag. 319 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:06,280 -[car tires screech] -[Ingmar] Okay, go time. 320 00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:07,847 -[tracking device pinging] -[Ingmar] You got him? 321 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,414 Yep, got him. I think he's turning right. 322 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,981 -Right? -Yeah, turn right. 323 00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,723 -Okay, okay. -I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 324 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:18,292 -[pinging] -I think he's turned left. 325 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,684 Left? 326 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,208 Go left. Left. 327 00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,558 -[pinging intensifies] -Wait, wait, wait, wait. 328 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:26,126 -[Ingmar] For what? -[Axel] Wait, he's slowing down. 329 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,605 -Slowing down? -Yeah. 330 00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,477 -How do you mean? -I think he's in there. 331 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,131 -[Ingmar] He's in there? -[Axel] In there, yeah. 332 00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,829 Shit! The dot! The dot went away. 333 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,700 Oh, shit. Let's get out. 334 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:43,447 [Axel] Hey we're looking for a man dressed as Zorro. 335 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:50,019 -[loud chattering] -[knife chopping] 336 00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:51,716 [woman] Hey! 337 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:05,948 [Axel] Sneaky like a fox. 338 00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:09,038 So we follow him from Hollywood down to Hancock Park. 339 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,648 But then he makes a U-turn 340 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,955 and goes straight to this restaurant downtown, 341 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,826 -where he disappears. -Yeah, and-- 342 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,132 did he drop something off? 343 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,568 Ingmar... 344 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,222 Shh, can you please? I'm thinking. 345 00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,007 -Move! -Hey! 346 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,486 Can you stop it? 347 00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,314 Hollywood, Silver Lake, 348 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,926 Hancock Park, downtown, huh? 349 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,366 Oh! Oh, that's clever. 350 00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,455 -Wow. -He's just been playing with us. 351 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,979 Call him. He has your phone, right? 352 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,894 Why would I call him? 353 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,940 I know this type of guy. 354 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,029 He likes to ride on you. 355 00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:46,684 -Like a horse? -No, smaller, like a dog. 356 00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:49,992 He wants you to know he's smarter than you. 357 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,867 [cell phone vibrates] 358 00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,876 [Zorro on phone] Yeah? 359 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,141 Yeah, hello. Um... 360 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:11,709 this is, uh, the person whose phone you stole. 361 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,711 Oh, hello, Ingmar. 362 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,452 You know my name? 363 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:18,020 I know everything about you, you Swedish dickhead. 364 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,457 I got your mo-- cell phone, remember? 365 00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:22,024 You should really use a pin code. 366 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:25,332 Well, I would like that phone back, please. 367 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:28,074 -One thousand. -One thou-- not a ch-- 368 00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,814 Just agree to whatever he want. 369 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,730 If we can get a meeting with him, we can set a trap. 370 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:35,124 -[button clicks] -Yeah, that's fine. 371 00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:37,039 Two thousand. 372 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,693 Yeah, that's fine. 373 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,303 Say, "Please, Zorro, 374 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,392 can I buy my own phone back like a dickhead?" 375 00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:46,092 Please, Zorro, can I buy my own phone back? 376 00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,702 "Like a dickhead." 377 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:48,964 Like a dickhead? 378 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,401 No, say it like a dickhead. 379 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,884 Well, Zorro, can I buy my own phone back, dickhead? 380 00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,364 Sure. 381 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,148 Where do you want to meet up? 382 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:02,760 Yes. Yes, there's a parking garage at the Grove. 383 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,111 [laughs] 384 00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,244 Don't you think I understand 385 00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,203 that the place is going to be crawling with Feds? 386 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,726 [laughs] 387 00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,076 I played you, man. 388 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,556 -I played you good. -[punches phone] 389 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,340 [Axel] Well, it was worth a shot. 390 00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,690 Failed again. 391 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,172 Failed again. 392 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:28,786 [Zorro on recording] Oh, hello, Ingmar. 393 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,006 [Ingmar on recording] You know my name? 394 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,616 [Zorro] I know everything about you, you Swedish dickhead. 395 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:35,358 I got your mo-- cell phone, remember? 396 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,361 I got your mo-- I got your mo-- 397 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,972 [snores softly] 398 00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,366 [Zorro] Ingmar. 399 00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,243 Ingmar? 400 00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,724 Looking for this? 401 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:57,772 Don't forget that I am the best thief in the world. 402 00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:00,122 What do you want? 403 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,081 I heard that you've been feeling pretty good lately, 404 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,084 letting people in, making plans. 405 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,129 Cute as that may be, I just wanted to say 406 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,870 that you shouldn't get your hopes up. 407 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:12,091 What are you trying to tell me? 408 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,570 Your life will always be shit, 409 00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,616 and people will always let you down. 410 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:18,314 Why are you here, Zorro? 411 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,142 Zorro? 412 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,578 Please. 413 00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,104 Don't listen to that other guy. 414 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,279 He's a clown. 415 00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,934 Help me. Find me. Forgive me! 416 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,066 Ingmar! 417 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,241 -Forgive me. -Tex. 418 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,635 -Ingmar! -Tex! 419 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,682 [gasps] 420 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,989 [ringing] 421 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,860 [bottle clatters] 422 00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,993 [breathing heavily] 423 00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,084 [Axel on phone] I know who it is. 424 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,042 Yeah, uh, hello? 425 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,783 I listened to the tape, Ingmar, 426 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,134 to every little noise in the background, 427 00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,526 over and over again. 428 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,962 And then I heard it. 429 00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,835 And, it wasn't in the background at all. 430 00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,967 Where was it? 431 00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:05,883 It was in the front ground. 432 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,845 [Axel] It's one of you. 433 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:11,933 One of us? 434 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,196 -Yes. -Which one? 435 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,113 David, you had the motive: money. 436 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,464 And you have the nimble fingers to be able to really-- 437 00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:24,250 Wait, are you going to do each of us this way 438 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,729 before you tell us who did it? 439 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:29,559 Yeah, that's what I had planned. 440 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,605 Okay, can you skip that part and just kind of move on? 441 00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:35,565 Yeah, all right, fine. It's Robin Hood. 442 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,698 After years of being rejected as an actor, 443 00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,656 he finally found something he was good at. 444 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:43,791 -He's lying. -[Axel] Hmm? Am I? 445 00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,706 [Zorro on recording] I know everything about you, 446 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,360 you Swedish dickhead. 447 00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,188 I got your mo-- cell phone, remember? 448 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,842 I got your mo-- I got your mo-- 449 00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,453 I got your mo-- 450 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:58,240 Before he says "cell phone," he says "mo." 451 00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,677 Mo. Johnny, you're from England. 452 00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:02,375 What do you call a cell phone over there? 453 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,593 A mo-- 454 00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,073 [Axel] A mobile, right? 455 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,988 Is that what you wanted to say? 456 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,207 Johnny-- 457 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,556 That doesn't prove anything. 458 00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,210 [Ingmar] You're right, it doesn't. 459 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,300 That's why we found another way to get proof. 460 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,954 Sun, can you please tell us where you are? 461 00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:21,307 [Sun on speakerphone] I'm at 1319 West Merced Avenue in West Covina. 462 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,657 That's my apartment. 463 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,049 Right after you left to come here, 464 00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,313 our colleague broke into your house. 465 00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,445 Sun, could you please tell us what you found? 466 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,404 I found the Zorro costume, 467 00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,580 and a bunch of wallets, asshole. 468 00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:35,538 Those wallets are not admissible in court. 469 00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:38,106 You had no right to break into my house. 470 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:41,109 I didn't. 471 00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:43,285 [Axel] We just played you, man. 472 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:46,027 We played you good. 473 00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,898 Real good. 474 00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,380 Is this like a method acting thing, man? 475 00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:53,687 No, I was planning to steal from the rich and give to the poor. 476 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:56,385 That was my intention. 477 00:20:56,429 --> 00:20:58,169 Bollocks. 478 00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:08,223 Congratulations. 479 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,442 Well played. 480 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,182 Yeah. You know, I actually feel like 481 00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,141 I'm starting to become a real detective. 482 00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:15,839 That's great. Pretty soon you'll be a licensed one as well. 483 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,493 -Mm-hm. -[chuckles] 484 00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:21,018 So, uh, how was your date with Brad Dad? 485 00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:23,151 Is he the one? 486 00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:24,413 Actually, I-- 487 00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:26,372 Oh, wow. 488 00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,504 I like him. 489 00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,158 -That's all. -Hmm. 490 00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:32,247 -[door creaks open] -Oh, hey, Dad. 491 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,467 Hi, kids. 492 00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,599 This is so great. 493 00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:40,124 Clean, cool air. 494 00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,390 You know, it's nice to see you in such a cheery mood. 495 00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:47,088 I'm happy. The future is looking okay. 496 00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:49,873 -[bottles clink] -[Axel clears throat] 497 00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:53,399 [Axel] I, uh, feel like I need to say a few words to you all. 498 00:21:53,442 --> 00:21:56,706 But especially to you, Ingmar. 499 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,621 For... 500 00:21:58,665 --> 00:22:00,144 for taking me in. 501 00:22:00,188 --> 00:22:05,976 For making me a man's man. 502 00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,761 I'm not saying you've become like a father to me 503 00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:11,373 but I feel like I've become like a son to you. 504 00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:15,638 And I just look forward to our future together, 505 00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:17,336 and the future of the... 506 00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:18,859 [cell phone rings] 507 00:22:18,902 --> 00:22:20,382 ...of the Swedish-- 508 00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:22,253 Sorry, I'm just going to... 509 00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:26,301 -Axel speaking. -[woman on phone] Hi, Axel. 510 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,824 It's Melanie DiPietro 511 00:22:27,868 --> 00:22:31,088 from the Investigative Service Association. 512 00:22:31,132 --> 00:22:33,787 Um, it turns out that the visa information 513 00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:36,572 that you provided has expired. 514 00:22:36,616 --> 00:22:38,400 -Huh? -Yeah. 515 00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:40,750 So if you could send us a current visa and work permit, 516 00:22:40,794 --> 00:22:42,056 that would be great. 517 00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:44,188 Because according to this, you... 518 00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:46,756 you don't even have the right to be in the country. 519 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,323 [laughs] 520 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,759 [chuckles] 521 00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:52,675 Yeah. Well, yeah, that-- that's very funny. 522 00:22:52,719 --> 00:22:54,982 I'll take care of that. 523 00:22:59,987 --> 00:23:02,685 To the future of the Swedish Dicks. 524 00:23:02,729 --> 00:23:04,905 [all] To the Dicks! 525 00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:08,948 [bottles clink] 36892

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