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1
00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:05,831
[Ingmar]
Hey, Graham,
2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:09,705
I've been meaning to ask
your advice on something.
3
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,707
Well, hit me, buddy.
4
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:14,579
I've been thinking about
getting myself a guitar.
5
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:19,062
Do you have a favorite guitar?
6
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,939
[Graham]
1959 Gibson Explorer.
7
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,767
That's my baby
right there.
8
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,073
How much?
9
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:32,119
I'd say at least 250.
10
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,381
$250?
11
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:35,818
$250,000.
12
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,298
Ooh!
13
00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:39,082
Now, that is a lot.
14
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,953
And when did you take this?
15
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:42,607
-The photo?
-Yeah.
16
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,044
Just last week.
17
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,048
So...
18
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,050
how come you filed an insurance
claim two months ago
19
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,529
saying it was stolen?
20
00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:55,316
What the fuck is this,
Frisco?
21
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,057
His name is not Frisco.
22
00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,407
It's Axel.
23
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:02,323
And his name is not
Ricardo the Magician.
24
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:06,370
It's Ingmar.
25
00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:09,460
And you have just been busted
for insurance fraud.
26
00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,071
Wait.
27
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,421
You just pretended to be
my friend for two months
28
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,466
just so I'd show you
that photo?
29
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,120
That's right.
30
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,427
What about
Paintball Thursday?
31
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:22,082
Not going to be
any more of those.
32
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,909
And when I broke up
with Melissa,
33
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,869
you just gave me a hug
and said, "Bros before hoes."
34
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,959
Yeah, I...
I don't believe that.
35
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:33,528
And what about those nights
we just looked up at the stars
36
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,965
talking about the future, man?
37
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:40,883
We're not going to open up
a microbrewery, Graham.
38
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,015
Who the fuck
are you guys?
39
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,279
We're dicks.
40
00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:48,325
Swedish dicks.
41
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:23,099
So then I realized
what the confusion was about.
42
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,448
Yeah? What?
43
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,189
Because I'd written
in my profile
44
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,625
that I was a big
Chris Rock fan.
45
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,192
-Sure.
-That's what I thought I wrote.
46
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,715
But I had autocorrect on.
47
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,717
So actually
what I'd written was,
48
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,415
"I'm a big Christian rock fan."
49
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:35,807
-Oh.
-And, by the time
50
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,287
we cleared up
the confusion,
51
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,723
the concert was almost over.
52
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:42,118
Did you crack
the clam, at least?
53
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,815
I'm sorry, what?
54
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,426
Did you open the oyster?
55
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,471
Uh, no, she wanted to wait
till marriage.
56
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,430
-Hey, Dad.
-[Ingmar] Hi.
57
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,823
[door closes]
58
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,825
So, uh, do you know
what this is about?
59
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:56,045
He wants to talk to you
about something.
60
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,919
Dad?
61
00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:04,227
Uh, well, Axel...
62
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,143
you saved my life.
63
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,927
You killed Tex,
64
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:11,234
and I know it's been very hard
for you to cope with that.
65
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,280
But, um...
66
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:18,633
I think what my dad is trying
to say is he's really happy
67
00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,287
to be working with you.
68
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,766
That's right.
69
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,029
Ingmar, you don't know
what this means to me.
70
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,509
-Oh, he's not done yet.
-Oh, sorry.
71
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,294
Yeah, these last
couple months,
72
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,426
we've been doing
some great money.
73
00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,559
And it's not entirely
because of me.
74
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:34,388
I want us to become
partners.
75
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:36,041
Real partners.
76
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,435
Fifty-fifty partners.
77
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:41,482
Which means you're going
to get half of the profits.
78
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,919
I thought I already got half.
79
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,618
I don't... uh, no?
80
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,360
[Ingmar]
And I want us to go legit.
81
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,406
[Axel]
"Applying for your PI license."
82
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:55,974
I want us to take the Dicks
to a whole new level.
83
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,238
Oh, now he's done.
84
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:02,546
Ingmar, you don't know
what this means to me.
85
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,331
Do you know how many nights
I've dreamt
86
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:07,812
of you opening up to me,
to connect with me as a human--
87
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,553
I take it back.
88
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,512
-No, no, you can't take it back.
-I take it back.
89
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,383
No, it's too late.
I'm already happy.
90
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,429
[cell phone rings]
91
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,344
Swedish Dicks.
92
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,302
Mm-hmm.
93
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,783
Can you meet us at the office
tomorrow morning?
94
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,828
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
95
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:27,397
Did you say you were
street performers?
96
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,182
Yes.
97
00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,576
Or sidewalk entertainers,
if you will.
98
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,404
You are the guys
on Hollywood Boulevard
99
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,711
dressing up like superheroes
for tips?
100
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,843
There is a little bit more
to it than that.
101
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,237
-We're actors, man.
-Of course. Sorry.
102
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,195
-Ingmar didn't mean to...
-[Elvis] Don't worry.
103
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:47,330
It's just sometimes people don't
understand what we do.
104
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:50,159
I just tell people to watch
Inside the Actors Studio
105
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,508
with Dustin Hoffman.
106
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:54,859
Like, just watch it,
then we'll talk.
107
00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,253
So now that we cleared that up,
108
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,255
what brings you
to the Swedish Dicks?
109
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,691
[sighs]
110
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,345
We have a thief amongst us.
111
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,347
A thief?
112
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,610
We suspect that one
of the street performers
113
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,439
uses the gig to get close
to tourists.
114
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,355
Then he steals
wallets, purses,
115
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:15,010
anything he can get
his dirty hands on.
116
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,751
Rumor's starting to spread,
117
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:19,406
as if people didn't
hate us enough.
118
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:22,452
Business owners have started
to call the cops on us.
119
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:25,455
And there have been beatings.
120
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:26,717
Beatings?
121
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:30,330
Vigilante tourists
out for blood.
122
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,899
So if we catch this guy, you'll
have some peace and quiet?
123
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,118
[Elvis]
The cops can't find him.
124
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:38,903
You guys are
our only hope.
125
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:41,079
Our only hope.
126
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,570
I think it's kind of beautiful
what these guys do.
127
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:54,702
Those guys?
128
00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:56,704
-Yeah.
-Come on.
129
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,663
Well, they come to California
with dreams of becoming actors.
130
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:03,275
And then years pass,
decades.
131
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,365
But they don't give up
on their dream.
132
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,716
Someone should tell them
if it hasn't happened yet,
133
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:12,633
it's probably because
they suck at acting.
134
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,330
That's a little harsh.
135
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,725
The truth is harsh, Axel.
136
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:20,336
They should do porn.
137
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,685
What?
138
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:25,907
[Sun]
Marilyn Monroe, Bette Davis.
139
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,648
"Oh, who's at the door?"
140
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:30,390
"Superman and Shrek."
141
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,914
Bow-chicka-bow-bow,
chicka-bow-bow.
142
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,351
[Sun laughs]
143
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,399
[car horn honks]
144
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,140
He took my wallet. I just turned
around, and it was gone.
145
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:44,839
And then I turned to Marmie
to tell her, and she was like...
146
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:48,408
"Fred, my purse is gone."
147
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:51,454
I literally said it
just like that.
148
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,021
And you didn't see
anything else?
149
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,501
His clothes,
nothing?
150
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:57,155
I just felt something weird
in my pants,
151
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,418
and then it was over.
152
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,550
Well, I know
that feeling.
153
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:07,470
I was taking the photo of, uh,
my beautiful femmeBernadette.
154
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:11,387
She was, uh, eating a Popsicle,
looking very cute.
155
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,910
-What?
-So then I put--
156
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:15,260
I put down ma caméra.
157
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,828
The-- ou est ma caméra?
Ou est ma caméra.
158
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,090
-What?
-Saw him
159
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,875
from the corner of moneye.
160
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,398
The corner of you what?
161
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,922
He saw the thief!
You not speak English?
162
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,489
Oh, did you see
what he looked like?
163
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,492
Oui.He looked like that.
164
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,799
[Ingmar]
Zorro.
165
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,236
[man]
Oui,Zorro!
166
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,855
You know what "zorro" means?
167
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,727
-No.
-"Fox."
168
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,598
Yeah?
169
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,687
Hey, did you see that
Antonio Banderas movie?
170
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,255
I mean, it's not my favorite
Banderas movie, to be honest.
171
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:56,563
But is it in my top five?
Well, uh, let's see.
172
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,173
It's definitely better
than Spy Kids.
173
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,783
[Sun on radio]
Angry Bird to Viking One.
174
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,655
I got eyes on Zorro.
175
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:04,005
Viking One to Angry Bird.
What's your 20?
176
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:06,529
Going west on
Hollywood Boulevard,
177
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,878
approaching your position.
178
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,228
He be there
in minus one minute.
179
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:12,100
[Ingmar]
Come on.
180
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,546
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
181
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,069
You stay off
Hollywood Boulevard,
182
00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:27,985
or there will be consequences,
you punk!
183
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,639
We know what
you've been up to.
184
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,554
I don't know what
you're talking about.
185
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:34,122
You have been committing petty
theft on several occasions.
186
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:37,647
Wait, you think
I'm the pickpocket?
187
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,475
Yeah, that's right, homeboy.
188
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,129
I just had open
carpal tunnel surgery.
189
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,132
How am I going to be
the pickpocket, man?
190
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,961
-Sorry.
-We had information
191
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,224
that it was Zorro
who was doing it, so that's...
192
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:52,357
Well, looks like you guys got
your work cut out for you.
193
00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:56,144
Ever since that new movie came
out, everybody want to be Zorro.
194
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,714
-[Axel] Oh.
-[Ingmar] Yeah.
195
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:04,500
Okay, we have some bad news,
and we have some good news.
196
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,590
The good news is that we know
who's been doing it.
197
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,983
It's Zorro.
198
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,115
[Ingmar]
Yeah, but the bad news is,
199
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,421
there's a lot of Zorros
out there
200
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,205
because of this new movie.
201
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,686
The good news is that
they seem to have found a way
202
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,906
to give Zorro a bit more
psychological depth.
203
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,647
That's impressive.
204
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:23,737
Bad news is,
that doesn't help us.
205
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,216
But the good news?
206
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,436
We do have a plan
to catch this guy.
207
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:32,180
But the good news is that due
to these new circumstances,
208
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:34,095
it's going to cost you
a bit more.
209
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,140
The good news for us,
that is, yeah.
210
00:09:36,184 --> 00:09:38,578
You guys have a strange way
of talking.
211
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,014
Hmm.
212
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,842
I agree.
213
00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:53,897
[woman]
Next?
214
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:57,771
[Axel] Hello, we're a couple
of Swedish dicks.
215
00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,511
-Detectives.
-And we would like to apply
216
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,426
for our PI license.
217
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:07,084
So just fill these forms out and
return them when you're ready.
218
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,652
And if everything checks out,
you'll get your license
219
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,523
in the mail
in about two weeks.
220
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,786
That's all?
221
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,831
I should have done this
years ago.
222
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:19,444
[Jane]
Ingmar and Axel.
223
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,011
[Ingmar]
Jane.
224
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:23,666
How lovely to see you both.
225
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,451
You're in a good mood,
for a change.
226
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:27,714
You see, I just closed
a tough case
227
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,498
involving corporate
espionage.
228
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:32,022
And I'm about to celebrate
with some good friends
229
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,850
from the Hollywood in-crowd.
230
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,286
This is Chantel.
231
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:39,160
And this is my rapper friend,
Ill Cosby.
232
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:41,118
He's very provocative.
233
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,642
Hi.
234
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,295
What are you two
doing here?
235
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,557
Well, I'm--
236
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:47,342
You're getting
your license.
237
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:50,737
It's just wonderful that they've
relaxed the rules a bit.
238
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:54,044
It used to be that only good
detectives were admitted.
239
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:57,265
But what does that even mean,
right?
240
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,788
Yeah, right.
241
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,921
And I suppose you're here
for moral support?
242
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,532
No. Actually, I'm...
243
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:04,794
Oh, my God.
244
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,535
[laughs]
245
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:08,711
You want to be
a detective, too?
246
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,757
I am a detective.
247
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,062
"I am a detective."
248
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,064
Aw, yes, you are.
249
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,326
Yes, you are.
250
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,328
You're a great big dick.
251
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,634
[laughs]
252
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,201
That's too cute!
253
00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:27,643
No, I don't want to do some
super-easy undercover work.
254
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,646
I don't understand why you two
can't do this on your own.
255
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,735
Because our covers
are blown.
256
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,825
And I think it's time for you
to start learning these things.
257
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,740
What things?
258
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,308
You're not going to be a lawyer
your entire life, are you?
259
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:42,223
Dad, I am not going
to be a PI.
260
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,965
Look, what Ingmar's trying
to say is that it'll be fast.
261
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:49,012
Listen, we want this guy
to steal your phone.
262
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,579
But it's not going
to be your phone.
263
00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,624
It's going to be my phone.
Do you know why?
264
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,801
So you can track it?
265
00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,804
So we can track it.
266
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,283
Fine.
267
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,677
-Yeah.
-But I have a thing at 7:00.
268
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,723
We'll be done in an hour.
269
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,380
[radio crackles]
270
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,905
Ally McBeal
to Viking One.
271
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,950
[Ingmar]
Viking One to Ally.
272
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:15,691
Dad, I've already been here
for two hours.
273
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,127
I've really got to go.
274
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,042
Okay, Sarah,
you got another Zorro
275
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:20,565
on your five o'clock.
276
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:23,090
Try to get closer.
277
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,094
He left.
278
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,836
Just skip him,
move to the next.
279
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,407
Hello, girl.
280
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:37,800
What is your name?
281
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,106
What?
282
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,585
What's up, What?
283
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,326
Want to hang out later?
284
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:44,111
What? No, fuck off.
285
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,549
Move to the next.
286
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:50,813
You know what the problem is
with girls like you?
287
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,293
Is that you're superficial.
288
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,121
Because I don't have
a cool job or cool car,
289
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,862
that makes me a loser,
right?
290
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:57,298
Well, I feel sorry
for you,
291
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,866
because you're empty inside.
292
00:12:59,909 --> 00:13:03,957
And you just said no
to a great guy.
293
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:08,004
[Ingmar]
Sarah, don't listen to him.
294
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:10,180
Okay, look, sorry, guys.
Looks like he's not gonna show.
295
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,834
I've really got to go.
296
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,010
Well, can you just give us
15 more minutes, hon?
297
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:17,187
Dad, I have to go.
It's a date.
298
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,102
What's his name?
299
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,801
You know what?
That's it. I'm leaving.
300
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,064
And by the way, Axel,
it's Brad.
301
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,980
Brad? Don't like
the sound of that.
302
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,546
What does he do?
303
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,200
He's a lawyer.
304
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,289
[Ingmar]
Never trust a lawyer, Sarah.
305
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,161
They only got one thing
on their mind.
306
00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:36,163
Dad, I'm a lawyer.
307
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:38,513
Yeah, but you're one
of the good ones, obviously.
308
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,428
Well, so is Brad, Dad.
309
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:41,777
-"Brad Dad."
-What?
310
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,605
"Brad Dad."
311
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,825
You need to read up a little on the overprotective Dad trope
312
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:48,001
and how it relates
to toxic masculinity.
313
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,046
Wait! He's here!
314
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,179
-Who, Brad?
-Zorro!
315
00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,964
Okay, so, what do you
want me to do?
316
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,314
Just wait for it.
317
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,231
-He got it!
-Zorro's got the bag.
318
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,538
I repeat,
Zorro's got the bag.
319
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:06,280
-[car tires screech]
-[Ingmar] Okay, go time.
320
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:07,847
-[tracking device pinging]
-[Ingmar] You got him?
321
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,414
Yep, got him.
I think he's turning right.
322
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,981
-Right?
-Yeah, turn right.
323
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,723
-Okay, okay.
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
324
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:18,292
-[pinging]
-I think he's turned left.
325
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,684
Left?
326
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,208
Go left. Left.
327
00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:23,558
-[pinging intensifies]
-Wait, wait, wait, wait.
328
00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:26,126
-[Ingmar] For what?
-[Axel] Wait, he's slowing down.
329
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,605
-Slowing down?
-Yeah.
330
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,477
-How do you mean?
-I think he's in there.
331
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,131
-[Ingmar] He's in there?
-[Axel] In there, yeah.
332
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,829
Shit! The dot!
The dot went away.
333
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,700
Oh, shit.
Let's get out.
334
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:43,447
[Axel] Hey we're looking
for a man dressed as Zorro.
335
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:50,019
-[loud chattering]
-[knife chopping]
336
00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:51,716
[woman]
Hey!
337
00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:05,948
[Axel]
Sneaky like a fox.
338
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:09,038
So we follow him from Hollywood
down to Hancock Park.
339
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,648
But then he makes
a U-turn
340
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,955
and goes straight
to this restaurant downtown,
341
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,826
-where he disappears.
-Yeah, and--
342
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,132
did he drop something off?
343
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,568
Ingmar...
344
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,222
Shh, can you please?
I'm thinking.
345
00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:21,007
-Move!
-Hey!
346
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:22,486
Can you stop it?
347
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,314
Hollywood, Silver Lake,
348
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,926
Hancock Park,
downtown, huh?
349
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,366
Oh! Oh, that's clever.
350
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,455
-Wow.
-He's just been playing with us.
351
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,979
Call him.
He has your phone, right?
352
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,894
Why would I call him?
353
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,940
I know this type of guy.
354
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,029
He likes to ride on you.
355
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:46,684
-Like a horse?
-No, smaller, like a dog.
356
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:49,992
He wants you to know
he's smarter than you.
357
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,867
[cell phone vibrates]
358
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,876
[Zorro on phone]
Yeah?
359
00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,141
Yeah, hello.
Um...
360
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:11,709
this is, uh, the person
whose phone you stole.
361
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,711
Oh, hello, Ingmar.
362
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,452
You know my name?
363
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:18,020
I know everything about you,
you Swedish dickhead.
364
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,457
I got your mo-- cell phone,
remember?
365
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:22,024
You should really
use a pin code.
366
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:25,332
Well, I would like
that phone back, please.
367
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:28,074
-One thousand.
-One thou-- not a ch--
368
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,814
Just agree to whatever he want.
369
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,730
If we can get a meeting
with him, we can set a trap.
370
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:35,124
-[button clicks]
-Yeah, that's fine.
371
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:37,039
Two thousand.
372
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,693
Yeah, that's fine.
373
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,303
Say, "Please, Zorro,
374
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,392
can I buy my own phone back
like a dickhead?"
375
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:46,092
Please, Zorro, can I buy
my own phone back?
376
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,702
"Like a dickhead."
377
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:48,964
Like a dickhead?
378
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,401
No, say it like a dickhead.
379
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:55,884
Well, Zorro, can I buy
my own phone back, dickhead?
380
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,364
Sure.
381
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,148
Where do you want
to meet up?
382
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:02,760
Yes. Yes, there's a parking
garage at the Grove.
383
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,111
[laughs]
384
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,244
Don't you think
I understand
385
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,203
that the place is going
to be crawling with Feds?
386
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,726
[laughs]
387
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,076
I played you, man.
388
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,556
-I played you good.
-[punches phone]
389
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,340
[Axel]
Well, it was worth a shot.
390
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,690
Failed again.
391
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,172
Failed again.
392
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:28,786
[Zorro on recording]
Oh, hello, Ingmar.
393
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:31,006
[Ingmar on recording]
You know my name?
394
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,616
[Zorro]
I know everything about you,
you Swedish dickhead.
395
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:35,358
I got your mo-- cell phone,
remember?
396
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,361
I got your mo--
I got your mo--
397
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,972
[snores softly]
398
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,366
[Zorro]
Ingmar.
399
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,243
Ingmar?
400
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,724
Looking for this?
401
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:57,772
Don't forget that I am the best
thief in the world.
402
00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:00,122
What do you want?
403
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,081
I heard that you've been
feeling pretty good lately,
404
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:05,084
letting people in,
making plans.
405
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,129
Cute as that may be,
I just wanted to say
406
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,870
that you shouldn't
get your hopes up.
407
00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:12,091
What are you trying
to tell me?
408
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,570
Your life will always
be shit,
409
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,616
and people will always
let you down.
410
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:18,314
Why are you here, Zorro?
411
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,142
Zorro?
412
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,578
Please.
413
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,104
Don't listen
to that other guy.
414
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,279
He's a clown.
415
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,934
Help me. Find me.
Forgive me!
416
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,066
Ingmar!
417
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,241
-Forgive me.
-Tex.
418
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,635
-Ingmar!
-Tex!
419
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,682
[gasps]
420
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,989
[ringing]
421
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,860
[bottle clatters]
422
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,993
[breathing heavily]
423
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,084
[Axel on phone]
I know who it is.
424
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,042
Yeah, uh, hello?
425
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,783
I listened to the tape, Ingmar,
426
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,134
to every little noise
in the background,
427
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:56,526
over and over again.
428
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,962
And then I heard it.
429
00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,835
And, it wasn't
in the background at all.
430
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,967
Where was it?
431
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:05,883
It was in the front ground.
432
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,845
[Axel]
It's one of you.
433
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:11,933
One of us?
434
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,196
-Yes.
-Which one?
435
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,113
David, you had the motive:
money.
436
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,464
And you have the nimble fingers
to be able to really--
437
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:24,250
Wait, are you going to do
each of us this way
438
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,729
before you tell us
who did it?
439
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:29,559
Yeah, that's what
I had planned.
440
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,605
Okay, can you skip that part
and just kind of move on?
441
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:35,565
Yeah, all right, fine.
It's Robin Hood.
442
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,698
After years of being
rejected as an actor,
443
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,656
he finally found something
he was good at.
444
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:43,791
-He's lying.
-[Axel] Hmm? Am I?
445
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,706
[Zorro on recording]
I know everything about you,
446
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,360
you Swedish dickhead.
447
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,188
I got your mo-- cell phone,
remember?
448
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,842
I got your mo--
I got your mo--
449
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,453
I got your mo--
450
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:58,240
Before he says "cell phone,"
he says "mo."
451
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,677
Mo. Johnny,
you're from England.
452
00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:02,375
What do you call a cell phone
over there?
453
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,593
A mo--
454
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,073
[Axel]
A mobile, right?
455
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,988
Is that what
you wanted to say?
456
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,207
Johnny--
457
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,556
That doesn't prove
anything.
458
00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,210
[Ingmar]
You're right, it doesn't.
459
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,300
That's why we found
another way to get proof.
460
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:16,954
Sun, can you please tell
us where you are?
461
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:21,307
[Sun on speakerphone]
I'm at 1319 West Merced Avenue
in West Covina.
462
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,657
That's my apartment.
463
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,049
Right after you left
to come here,
464
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,313
our colleague broke
into your house.
465
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,445
Sun, could you please tell us
what you found?
466
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,404
I found the Zorro costume,
467
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,580
and a bunch of wallets,
asshole.
468
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:35,538
Those wallets are not
admissible in court.
469
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:38,106
You had no right to break
into my house.
470
00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:41,109
I didn't.
471
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:43,285
[Axel]
We just played you, man.
472
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:46,027
We played you good.
473
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,898
Real good.
474
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,380
Is this like a method acting
thing, man?
475
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:53,687
No, I was planning to steal from
the rich and give to the poor.
476
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:56,385
That was my intention.
477
00:20:56,429 --> 00:20:58,169
Bollocks.
478
00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:08,223
Congratulations.
479
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,442
Well played.
480
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,182
Yeah. You know,
I actually feel like
481
00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,141
I'm starting to become
a real detective.
482
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:15,839
That's great. Pretty soon you'll
be a licensed one as well.
483
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,493
-Mm-hm.
-[chuckles]
484
00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:21,018
So, uh, how was your date
with Brad Dad?
485
00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:23,151
Is he the one?
486
00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:24,413
Actually, I--
487
00:21:24,457 --> 00:21:26,372
Oh, wow.
488
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,504
I like him.
489
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,158
-That's all.
-Hmm.
490
00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:32,247
-[door creaks open]
-Oh, hey, Dad.
491
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,467
Hi, kids.
492
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,599
This is so great.
493
00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:40,124
Clean, cool air.
494
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,390
You know, it's nice to see you
in such a cheery mood.
495
00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:47,088
I'm happy.
The future is looking okay.
496
00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:49,873
-[bottles clink]
-[Axel clears throat]
497
00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:53,399
[Axel] I, uh, feel like I need
to say a few words to you all.
498
00:21:53,442 --> 00:21:56,706
But especially
to you, Ingmar.
499
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,621
For...
500
00:21:58,665 --> 00:22:00,144
for taking me in.
501
00:22:00,188 --> 00:22:05,976
For making me
a man's man.
502
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,761
I'm not saying you've become
like a father to me
503
00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:11,373
but I feel like I've become
like a son to you.
504
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:15,638
And I just look forward
to our future together,
505
00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:17,336
and the future of the...
506
00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:18,859
[cell phone rings]
507
00:22:18,902 --> 00:22:20,382
...of the Swedish--
508
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:22,253
Sorry, I'm just going to...
509
00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:26,301
-Axel speaking.
-[woman on phone] Hi, Axel.
510
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,824
It's Melanie DiPietro
511
00:22:27,868 --> 00:22:31,088
from the Investigative
Service Association.
512
00:22:31,132 --> 00:22:33,787
Um, it turns out
that the visa information
513
00:22:33,830 --> 00:22:36,572
that you provided
has expired.
514
00:22:36,616 --> 00:22:38,400
-Huh?
-Yeah.
515
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:40,750
So if you could send us
a current visa and work permit,
516
00:22:40,794 --> 00:22:42,056
that would be great.
517
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:44,188
Because according
to this, you...
518
00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:46,756
you don't even have the right
to be in the country.
519
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,323
[laughs]
520
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,759
[chuckles]
521
00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:52,675
Yeah. Well, yeah, that--
that's very funny.
522
00:22:52,719 --> 00:22:54,982
I'll take care of that.
523
00:22:59,987 --> 00:23:02,685
To the future
of the Swedish Dicks.
524
00:23:02,729 --> 00:23:04,905
[all]
To the Dicks!
525
00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:08,948
[bottles clink]
36892
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