Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:25,587 --> 00:02:29,546
Make the same. It's good for you.
Spring air.
2
00:02:29,925 --> 00:02:33,361
The way you're gulping it up,
there won't be enough left to go around.
3
00:02:33,428 --> 00:02:36,397
Isn't it very hot for so early in April,
Dr. Gurkakoff?
4
00:02:36,464 --> 00:02:37,829
I'm not surprised.
5
00:02:37,899 --> 00:02:40,891
This recent bombardment
by ions from the sun.
6
00:02:40,969 --> 00:02:44,097
You see, temperature is due
to the quantity of molecular...
7
00:02:44,172 --> 00:02:45,901
Hey, hey. Stop, stop,
8
00:02:45,974 --> 00:02:47,532
if you don't want me to retaliate
9
00:02:47,609 --> 00:02:50,635
by reciting all the tributary branches
of the Amazon.
10
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:54,239
Incredible that only last week we were
drawing lots for our hot water bottle.
11
00:02:54,316 --> 00:02:57,513
Observe the forsythia or golden bell.
12
00:02:57,586 --> 00:02:59,850
I never knew it to bloom so early.
13
00:03:08,530 --> 00:03:10,498
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
14
00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,628
It's 8:46, gentlemen.
15
00:03:13,702 --> 00:03:16,330
Oh, Potts.
Just once more around the park.
16
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,429
Before we go back to our mausoleum.
17
00:03:18,506 --> 00:03:20,235
I saw a scarlet tanager
18
00:03:20,308 --> 00:03:23,607
which must have flown
all the way from Florida just to enjoy it.
19
00:03:23,678 --> 00:03:25,339
- 1,500 miles.
- Yes.
20
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,280
Our constitutional
has taken up too much time already.
21
00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:29,874
We're working under pressure.
22
00:03:29,951 --> 00:03:33,216
After nine years of effort we are,
as the race track enthusiast might say,
23
00:03:33,288 --> 00:03:34,846
in the home stretch.
24
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,914
Three more years
and our encyclopedia will be finished.
25
00:03:36,992 --> 00:03:39,256
Let's not bog down
in the middle of the letter "S."
26
00:03:39,327 --> 00:03:41,454
All right. All right.
That's done it.
27
00:03:41,529 --> 00:03:44,555
It's now 8:49, gentlemen.
I, for one, am going back to work.
28
00:03:44,633 --> 00:03:47,227
- Teacher's pet!
- Bertram Potts, the incorruptible.
29
00:03:47,302 --> 00:03:49,133
The eternal no-no man.
30
00:03:49,204 --> 00:03:50,193
Back home. Back home.
31
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,797
Oh, well,
it may be raining this afternoon, anyway.
32
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,054
- Good morning, Miss Bragg.
- Good morning, Miss Bragg.
33
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:18,065
- Good morning, Miss Bragg.
- Good morning, Professor.
34
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,998
- Good morning, Miss Bragg.
- Good morning.
35
00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:23,367
- Good morning, Miss Bragg.
- Good morning, Professor.
36
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,539
Gentlemen, before you get down to work,
I have got something to say.
37
00:04:28,610 --> 00:04:30,601
One of you made off with
a jar of strawberry preserves
38
00:04:30,679 --> 00:04:31,941
from my pantry last night.
39
00:04:32,013 --> 00:04:36,450
I located the empty jar on the shelf behind
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.
40
00:04:36,518 --> 00:04:39,749
That seems to indicate our historian,
Professor Peagram.
41
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,254
I did no such thing, Miss Bragg.
42
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,881
I'm not accusing anybody,
43
00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:46,450
but until it's cleared up, I think
we'll dispense with jam for breakfast.
44
00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:48,792
- Miss Bragg.
- Yes, Professor Oddly.
45
00:04:48,863 --> 00:04:50,455
I am the one.
46
00:04:50,532 --> 00:04:54,969
I was writing about strawberries
when suddenly I got a horrible craving.
47
00:04:55,036 --> 00:04:57,436
A crime confessed is half atoned.
48
00:04:59,074 --> 00:05:01,008
Miss Bragg. Miss Bragg.
49
00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:04,341
I had some material here.
What happened to it?
50
00:05:04,412 --> 00:05:05,504
What happened?
51
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:08,048
I blushed for my duster
when I did your desk.
52
00:05:08,116 --> 00:05:11,142
You'll find everything
in the middle drawer, face down.
53
00:05:11,219 --> 00:05:15,519
I'm just starting my article on sex,
Miss Bragg. Any objections?
54
00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:19,720
No, I trust you have more control
of yourself than Professor Oddly.
55
00:05:23,732 --> 00:05:26,326
Professor Gurkakoff,
your window shade again.
56
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:28,335
Yes, Miss Bragg.
57
00:05:28,403 --> 00:05:31,065
It's a crime
to carelessly expose this good carpet.
58
00:05:31,139 --> 00:05:33,630
You've just committed
a more serious crime, Miss Bragg.
59
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,471
You have split an infinitive.
60
00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:39,309
Never "to carelessly expose."
Always "to expose carelessly."
61
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,780
I'm not here to juggle words.
62
00:05:40,849 --> 00:05:43,579
It's my job
to conscientiously see that this house...
63
00:05:43,651 --> 00:05:45,585
You've just split another one, Miss Bragg.
64
00:05:45,653 --> 00:05:46,711
- Professor...
- Oh, oh.
65
00:05:46,788 --> 00:05:48,415
- Here's whatchamacallit.
- Who?
66
00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:51,391
The lawyer for the Foundation.
And Miss Totten's with him.
67
00:05:51,459 --> 00:05:53,654
And this place looking like a flicker's nest.
68
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:57,630
Yes, we're in for our semi-annual wigging,
I suppose.
69
00:05:57,699 --> 00:05:59,394
- You'd better put your coat on, Potts.
- Why? What...
70
00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:01,958
- Better fix your tie.
- Fix your hair, fix your hair.
71
00:06:02,037 --> 00:06:03,334
Say, what is all this nonsense?
72
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,374
This nonsense is Miss Totten.
And will you please smile at her?
73
00:06:06,441 --> 00:06:07,669
Say, this is all very undignified.
74
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,074
- If you think you're being funny, I...
- Shh!
75
00:06:12,147 --> 00:06:14,445
- Morning, gentlemen.
Good morning.
76
00:06:14,516 --> 00:06:16,746
Won't you sit here, Miss Totten?
77
00:06:16,818 --> 00:06:18,809
It's a very nice morning, Miss Totten.
78
00:06:18,887 --> 00:06:20,787
Would you like to speak, Miss Totten,
or shall I?
79
00:06:20,855 --> 00:06:22,618
You, please, Mr. Larsen.
80
00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:24,749
I'll make this as brief as possible,
gentlemen.
81
00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:30,264
To date, $283,000 have been expended
in writing this encyclopedia.
82
00:06:30,632 --> 00:06:34,466
You all realize that Miss Totten's father,
the late Daniel S. Totten,
83
00:06:34,536 --> 00:06:37,130
left only a quarter of a million dollars
for this project.
84
00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:40,470
Every additional penny will have to come
from Miss Totten's own pocket.
85
00:06:40,542 --> 00:06:44,638
We would like a frank estimate
of how much longer you will take.
86
00:06:44,712 --> 00:06:49,706
- Maybe three years, maybe four.
- It cannot be. It just cannot be.
87
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,718
Oh, my dear Miss Totten,
88
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,311
you wouldn't discontinue
your father's great gesture
89
00:06:54,389 --> 00:06:56,482
towards human enlightenment?
90
00:06:56,558 --> 00:06:59,083
"Human enlightenment."
What nonsense, Professor Jerome.
91
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,527
Papa had just one reason for ever starting
this unfortunate enterprise.
92
00:07:02,597 --> 00:07:03,621
Vanity.
93
00:07:03,698 --> 00:07:06,064
He broke a blood vessel
because he found his name was omitted
94
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,726
from the Encyclopedia Britannica.
95
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,930
Because 30 pages were devoted
to Thomas Alva Edison,
96
00:07:11,005 --> 00:07:12,996
17 to Alexander Graham Bell,
97
00:07:13,074 --> 00:07:17,636
but not one line to Daniel S. Totten,
the inventor of the electric toaster.
98
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,514
In our encyclopedia,
99
00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:24,780
Mr. Totten shall receive
an appropriate amount of space.
100
00:07:24,853 --> 00:07:26,411
- Oh, yes, yes.
- Yes, of course.
101
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:29,685
- Three quarters of a page, I should think.
- Three quarters of a page?
102
00:07:29,757 --> 00:07:31,452
- That's all he deserves.
- Is it?
103
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,187
You may go on, Mr. Larsen.
104
00:07:33,261 --> 00:07:35,786
All we ask is
that you bring this thing to a close
105
00:07:35,864 --> 00:07:38,526
somehow or the other.
Get on with it. Slap it together.
106
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,898
Mr. Larsen, may I have a word?
107
00:07:40,969 --> 00:07:44,200
- Hello, Professor Potts.
- Hello, Miss Totten.
108
00:07:45,273 --> 00:07:48,174
Mr. Larsen, you said, "Slap it together."
109
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,807
We're not the slapping together kind.
110
00:07:50,879 --> 00:07:52,540
We have started an encyclopedia,
111
00:07:52,614 --> 00:07:55,310
and we shall finish it
as thoroughly as is humanly possible.
112
00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:58,250
- Another $100,000?
- If necessary, yes.
113
00:07:58,319 --> 00:08:01,482
If our work goes slowly
it's because the world, it goes so fast.
114
00:08:01,556 --> 00:08:03,820
Take Professor Jerome, our geographer.
115
00:08:03,892 --> 00:08:05,018
He has to rewrite all the time.
116
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:06,788
- And Dr. Magenbruch...
I'm not interested.
117
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,988
Don't interrupt, Mr. Larsen.
118
00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:11,191
Go on, Professor.
119
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,425
I'm sure it's your wish that this monument
120
00:08:14,502 --> 00:08:17,801
to your father be finished
as nobly as it was begun.
121
00:08:21,309 --> 00:08:23,607
I'm appealing to you, Miss Totten,
122
00:08:23,678 --> 00:08:25,578
to your vision and to your heart.
123
00:08:25,647 --> 00:08:27,638
Maybe I'm a little inarticulate,
124
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,149
but I've always regarded you as a...
125
00:08:30,652 --> 00:08:32,176
Yes, Professor?
126
00:08:33,821 --> 00:08:35,812
Always regarded you as a...
127
00:08:37,292 --> 00:08:38,782
Oh, Professor.
128
00:08:41,462 --> 00:08:44,954
- You know what I mean, Miss Totten.
- Yes.
129
00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:47,558
I warn you, Miss Totten,
another four years of this, with...
130
00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:50,433
After all, it was Father's wish.
131
00:08:50,505 --> 00:08:54,134
But, gentlemen, you will hurry
and finish the encyclopedia, won't you?
132
00:08:54,209 --> 00:08:56,234
- We will.
- Yes, yes, indeed.
133
00:08:58,313 --> 00:09:01,680
Last year, when all the other professors
came to my musical,
134
00:09:01,783 --> 00:09:04,115
where were you, Professor Potts?
135
00:09:04,619 --> 00:09:07,247
Sinus. But I shall be there this year.
136
00:09:07,622 --> 00:09:10,614
I shall look forward to seeing you again.
137
00:09:10,692 --> 00:09:12,353
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
138
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,919
- Goodbye, madam.
- Good day.
139
00:09:14,996 --> 00:09:16,759
- Good day.
- Good day.
140
00:09:20,301 --> 00:09:22,792
That maneuver down my spine
was very unnecessary.
141
00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:24,735
- Was it, my dear Potts?
- Didn't it work?
142
00:09:25,406 --> 00:09:26,600
Hi.
143
00:09:26,808 --> 00:09:29,538
I hope you don't mind.
I came through the kitchen.
144
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,045
Who are you?
- I'm the garbage man.
145
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,915
I want to find out something
about Cleopatra.
146
00:09:34,983 --> 00:09:36,473
- Cleopatra?
- Yeah.
147
00:09:36,551 --> 00:09:38,712
This is some kind of a library or school,
isn't it?
148
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,482
Neither, we are writing an encyclopedia.
149
00:09:41,556 --> 00:09:43,717
- Icyclo-what?
- An encyclopedia.
150
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,453
A work which endeavors to compile
and catalog all human knowledge.
151
00:09:46,527 --> 00:09:48,222
Say, that's just what I need.
152
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,355
Young man,
did you come through my kitchen?
153
00:09:50,431 --> 00:09:52,831
- That's right, sister.
- I'm not your sister, and you get out.
154
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,834
- Oh, now...
- Miss Bragg.
155
00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:56,563
Please, Miss Bragg,
we find this intensely interesting.
156
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:57,627
Go on, please.
157
00:09:57,705 --> 00:09:59,605
You can't tell me
he's not infested with germs.
158
00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:02,837
Then go and get your gas mask.
Now, shoo, scat, skedaddle.
159
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:05,845
- Please, won't you take a seat?
- Thanks, Bo.
160
00:10:06,281 --> 00:10:07,873
I seen all these books
through the window,
161
00:10:07,949 --> 00:10:09,883
and I figured
that maybe you can help me out.
162
00:10:09,951 --> 00:10:12,818
- In what way, young man?
- With this quizzola they got on the radio.
163
00:10:12,887 --> 00:10:13,911
- This what?
- Quizzola?
164
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,615
Korn Krunchies Quiz-Quiz.
165
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:18,591
Send in 100 box covers,
and you stand to make a little dough.
166
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,187
Well, with my opportunities,
I got about 3,000 box covers together.
167
00:10:22,263 --> 00:10:24,731
Only some of the answers
you have to send in to the questions.
168
00:10:24,799 --> 00:10:26,664
You know, like true or false.
169
00:10:27,302 --> 00:10:28,462
You have those questions here?
170
00:10:28,536 --> 00:10:29,525
Yeah, sure.
171
00:10:29,604 --> 00:10:31,834
Well, that's very interesting.
172
00:10:33,141 --> 00:10:35,632
"Question one. Cleopatra died...
173
00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:37,769
"A. From swallowing a needle.
174
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,779
"B. From snake bite.
175
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:41,610
"C. From hiccups."
176
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,875
That's my province. I cover history.
177
00:10:45,119 --> 00:10:47,144
The correct answer is "B."
178
00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:51,718
Cleopatra, queen of Egypt,
daughter of Ptolemy XIII, born 69 BC,
179
00:10:51,793 --> 00:10:54,819
killed herself
on the 29th day of August, 30 BC,
180
00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:57,159
by placing an asp to her bosom.
181
00:10:57,231 --> 00:10:59,028
- A what?
- An asp.
182
00:10:59,634 --> 00:11:01,192
A small snake.
183
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,998
Well, patch my pantywaist.
184
00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:04,470
Well, well, next.
185
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,268
"Which way would you say it?
186
00:11:06,341 --> 00:11:07,808
"Two and two is five.
187
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,570
"Two and two are five.
188
00:11:09,644 --> 00:11:11,271
"Two and two makes five."
189
00:11:11,346 --> 00:11:13,371
Professor Potts covers English.
190
00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:15,848
- Did you hear the question, Potts?
- I did.
191
00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:18,010
As the verb
is always governed by the subject,
192
00:11:18,086 --> 00:11:20,520
the correct answer is,
"Two and two are five."
193
00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:23,113
- Potts.
- Oh, no, Potts.
194
00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:27,025
Correct for a grammarian perhaps,
but not for a mathematician.
195
00:11:27,095 --> 00:11:28,687
Two and two are four.
196
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:33,090
That's a good one.
Nobody's gonna get that.
197
00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:34,759
Well, I certainly am obliged.
198
00:11:34,836 --> 00:11:36,736
I could use a bundle of scratch right now
199
00:11:36,804 --> 00:11:38,431
on account of I met me a mouse last week.
200
00:11:38,506 --> 00:11:39,996
- Mouse?
- What a pair of gams.
201
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,372
A little in, a little out,
and a little more out...
202
00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:43,808
I am still completely mystified.
203
00:11:43,878 --> 00:11:45,277
Well, with this dish on me hands
204
00:11:45,346 --> 00:11:48,213
and them giving away 25 smackaroos
on that quizzola.
205
00:11:48,282 --> 00:11:51,809
- Smackaroos?
- Smackaroos? What are smackaroos?
206
00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:54,150
- A smackaroo is a...
- No such word exists.
207
00:11:54,222 --> 00:11:57,214
Oh, it don't? A smackaroo is a dollar, pal.
208
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:00,250
Well, the accepted vulgarism
for a dollar is a buck.
209
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:03,661
The accepted vulgarism
for a smackaroo is a dollar.
210
00:12:03,731 --> 00:12:06,791
That goes for a banger, a fish,
a buck or a rug.
211
00:12:06,868 --> 00:12:08,165
Well, what about the mouse?
212
00:12:08,236 --> 00:12:10,727
The mouse is the dish.
That's what I need the moolah for.
213
00:12:10,805 --> 00:12:12,136
- Moolah?
- Yeah, the dough.
214
00:12:12,206 --> 00:12:14,470
We'll be stepping. Me and this smooch...
I mean, the dish,
215
00:12:14,542 --> 00:12:17,170
I mean, the mouse. You know,
hit the jiggles for a little rum boogie.
216
00:12:17,245 --> 00:12:18,303
Please, please, not so fast.
217
00:12:18,379 --> 00:12:19,903
Brother, we're going to have
some hoytoytoy.
218
00:12:19,981 --> 00:12:21,039
- Hoytoytoy?
- Hoytoytoy?
219
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,710
Yeah, and if you want that one explained,
you go ask your papas.
220
00:12:28,523 --> 00:12:31,321
That's Archie. His water's getting hot.
221
00:12:31,392 --> 00:12:32,984
Well, thanks again, gents.
222
00:12:33,060 --> 00:12:35,585
And if you ever want to get into
a contest sometime,
223
00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:37,358
just call on me.
224
00:12:37,432 --> 00:12:40,663
Maybe you've got the brains,
but I got the box covers.
225
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,433
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, come again.
226
00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:47,864
Well, kind of a breezy fellow, isn't he?
227
00:12:47,942 --> 00:12:48,931
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
228
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:51,376
- He seems a most likeable gentleman.
- Yes.
229
00:12:51,446 --> 00:12:52,504
And I'm an idiot.
230
00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:54,241
- Idiot? Why?
- Why?
231
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,942
Miss Bragg. Miss Bragg!
232
00:12:56,017 --> 00:12:57,484
- What's the matter, Potts?
- Well, what's...
233
00:12:57,552 --> 00:12:59,452
- I'm going out.
Going out?
234
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,454
What's your prognosis
on the weather, Gurkakoff?
235
00:13:01,522 --> 00:13:03,990
- Light showers toward the evening, but...
- Yes, Professor Potts?
236
00:13:04,058 --> 00:13:05,719
Miss Bragg, my hat and my mackintosh.
237
00:13:05,793 --> 00:13:07,317
And put my luncheon sandwich
in the pocket.
238
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:08,521
- But...
- Immediately.
239
00:13:08,596 --> 00:13:09,585
- Yes, sir.
- What's happened?
240
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,325
What do you mean
you're going out, Potts?
241
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:13,162
- Where are you going?
- Research.
242
00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:14,792
Research? What research?
243
00:13:14,869 --> 00:13:17,235
- The garbage man. Didn't you hear him?
- Yes.
244
00:13:17,305 --> 00:13:19,830
Well, I didn't quite understand all he said.
245
00:13:19,907 --> 00:13:23,104
Nor did I. And it's catastrophic, gentlemen,
catastrophic.
246
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:24,542
- Why?
- How so?
247
00:13:24,612 --> 00:13:26,842
I've just finished my article on slang.
248
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:29,883
Twenty-three pages compiled
from a dozen reference books.
249
00:13:29,951 --> 00:13:31,680
- Eight hundred examples.
- Well?
250
00:13:31,752 --> 00:13:34,152
Everything
from the idiotic combination "absotively"
251
00:13:34,222 --> 00:13:35,883
to the pejorative use of "zigzag."
252
00:13:35,957 --> 00:13:37,481
I traced the evolution of "hunky dory,"
253
00:13:37,558 --> 00:13:40,049
tracked down "skiddo" from "skedaddle."
254
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:43,192
Eight hundred examples and I may as well
throw it in the waste basket.
255
00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:45,755
- Three weeks' work.
- Potts, you're hysterical.
256
00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:48,495
Outmoded.
Based on reference books 20 years old.
257
00:13:48,569 --> 00:13:51,436
Take "smooch." Take "dish." Take...
258
00:13:51,506 --> 00:13:54,907
- Hoytoytoy?
- Hoytoytoy. Not one of them included.
259
00:13:54,976 --> 00:13:58,070
Living in this house cut off from the world,
I've lost touch.
260
00:13:58,145 --> 00:13:59,510
And it's inexcusable.
261
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:02,947
That man talked a living language.
I embalmed some dead phrases.
262
00:14:03,017 --> 00:14:05,952
- But where are you going?
- Out to collect new data,
263
00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:09,012
to tap the sources of slang,
the major sources.
264
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,785
The streets. The slums.
265
00:14:10,858 --> 00:14:13,725
- The theatrical and allied professions.
- Oh, now, Potts, don't you think that...
266
00:14:13,794 --> 00:14:15,762
I know it's regrettable,
this loss of time, gentlemen,
267
00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:17,593
but it must be done.
268
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,066
Leave the key under the mat.
I won't be home before 9:00.
269
00:14:22,136 --> 00:14:23,398
Yes, sir.
270
00:14:24,872 --> 00:14:27,500
I'm writing about the planet Saturn.
271
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,408
Do I insist on going to the planet Saturn?
272
00:14:31,345 --> 00:14:35,406
Maybe my data on sex
is a little outdated, too.
273
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,717
Just a moment, please.
Do you mind if I ride along with you?
274
00:14:40,788 --> 00:14:42,312
Hop on, buddy.
275
00:14:43,691 --> 00:14:46,751
Extra! Extra!
Nab Benny the Creep in cement killing!
276
00:14:46,827 --> 00:14:50,024
Read all about it.
Corpse's dogs dunked into cement.
277
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,121
Extra! Extra!
278
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,400
Ice-pick killing!
Link Benny the Creep with Big Tom!
279
00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:55,833
Extra! Extra!
280
00:14:55,903 --> 00:14:58,133
Seek man behind the man
behind the murder ring!
281
00:14:58,205 --> 00:15:00,070
Extra! Extra!
282
00:15:01,876 --> 00:15:03,810
Hey, what are you,
checking up on me or something?
283
00:15:03,878 --> 00:15:06,870
Four words, blitz it, mister.
Blitz it, will you? You give me the mimis.
284
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:09,178
- "Mimis"?
- Yeah, the screaming mimis.
285
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,308
Extremely picturesque.
286
00:15:10,384 --> 00:15:12,181
Young man,
could I interest you in a research project
287
00:15:12,253 --> 00:15:13,584
in which you could be very helpful?
288
00:15:13,654 --> 00:15:16,316
And what you promoting?
Some kind of reform school?
289
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:18,620
If you would come to this address
at 9:30 tomorrow morning,
290
00:15:18,693 --> 00:15:20,820
you'd be doing society a definite service.
291
00:15:20,895 --> 00:15:23,125
Who are you anyway? Father Flanagan?
292
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:55,746
293
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:54,380
Come on, Krup, knock yourself out.
294
00:19:16,797 --> 00:19:19,960
Three, four, five,
295
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:24,198
six, seven, eight,
296
00:19:24,271 --> 00:19:27,798
nine, ten, eleven,
297
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:31,470
twelve, thirteen, fourteen.
298
00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:41,281
Yeah!
299
00:19:49,263 --> 00:19:51,993
Young man,
what is the name of that song?
300
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:54,034
- Boogie.
- What does "boogie" mean?
301
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:55,693
Are you kidding?
302
00:20:04,478 --> 00:20:06,742
More! More!
Yeah!
303
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:09,681
- Okay, what do you want, hep cats?
- More of the same.
304
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,047
- Same thing?
- Yeah.
305
00:20:11,118 --> 00:20:13,586
Okay, we'll mix it up a little.
Come on down, Krup.
306
00:20:13,654 --> 00:20:15,315
You're gonna have to be
awful quiet on this.
307
00:20:15,389 --> 00:20:16,856
I'm gonna need a little help,
okay, squares?
308
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,186
- All right.
- All right.
309
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,523
I want this chair,
and we'll clean off the table.
310
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,152
A little juice down here, junior.
311
00:20:22,229 --> 00:20:24,390
- What's cooking, Sugar?
- Match boogie, Krup. How about it?
312
00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:25,898
Want match boogie? You'll get it.
Where's some matches?
313
00:20:25,966 --> 00:20:27,058
I have some right here.
314
00:20:32,006 --> 00:20:33,030
You two go with me,
315
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:35,735
and the rest of you take boogie
with you on the orchestra, right?
316
00:20:35,809 --> 00:20:36,867
- Right.
- Okay.
317
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,538
Here we go, Krup, like buster's gang.
318
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,604
Very quiet. One, two.
319
00:20:42,082 --> 00:20:43,071
320
00:20:58,732 --> 00:20:59,926
Boogie.
321
00:21:30,965 --> 00:21:32,262
Yeah!
322
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:37,327
Young man,
what is the name of that young lady?
323
00:21:37,404 --> 00:21:39,736
- Sugarpuss O'Shea.
- An astounding specimen.
324
00:21:39,807 --> 00:21:43,743
She jives by night, root, zoot and cute
and solid to boot.
325
00:21:43,811 --> 00:21:45,642
- Are you kidding?
- No.
326
00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:48,940
- Come on, Sugar, quick.
- Yeah, quick is right.
327
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,040
What's the fever?
328
00:21:50,117 --> 00:21:51,448
Listen, Sugie, you gotta take it on the lam.
329
00:21:51,518 --> 00:21:52,507
- Yeah, they're looking for you.
- Who?
330
00:21:52,586 --> 00:21:53,712
- The District Attorney's office.
- Why?
331
00:21:53,787 --> 00:21:54,981
You've got to get dressed and out of here
332
00:21:55,055 --> 00:21:56,488
- before they slap a subpoena on you.
- A subpoena?
333
00:21:56,557 --> 00:21:58,252
Shh! Come on, we'll talk about it
in the dressing room.
334
00:21:58,325 --> 00:22:00,088
Well, why can't you tell me now?
335
00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:03,990
What is all this subpoena business?
336
00:22:04,064 --> 00:22:05,759
On account of
Benny the Creep had an accident.
337
00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:07,391
I never heard of Benny the Creep.
Who's he?
338
00:22:07,468 --> 00:22:09,026
- One of the boys.
- He was on kind of an errand
339
00:22:09,103 --> 00:22:10,798
when he grazed into a police car,
that dope.
340
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,863
And for that I've got to hide out?
That don't make sense, Pastrami.
341
00:22:13,941 --> 00:22:15,875
No, you see,
when the bulls gave Benny a ticket,
342
00:22:15,943 --> 00:22:17,410
they saw Kinnick in the back of the car.
343
00:22:17,478 --> 00:22:18,638
- Dead.
- In the accident?
344
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:20,236
That's what Benny was trying to tell them.
345
00:22:20,314 --> 00:22:22,475
- Only they saw Kinnick's feet.
- They was in a cake of cement.
346
00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:24,107
Benny was gonna dump him
in the East River.
347
00:22:24,184 --> 00:22:26,880
- That was the errand.
- What is all this? Where do I come...
348
00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:28,922
Wait a second.
Is Joe Lilac mixed up in this?
349
00:22:28,989 --> 00:22:30,616
The DA had him picked up
about a half hour ago.
350
00:22:30,691 --> 00:22:32,989
That's why we're here.
That's why you got to beat it.
351
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,891
- Joe Lilac mixed up in a murder?
- Yeah.
352
00:22:34,962 --> 00:22:36,395
I don't believe it, not for a second.
353
00:22:36,463 --> 00:22:38,761
He was framed, Sugie, honest he was,
may I drop down dead.
354
00:22:38,832 --> 00:22:41,232
- Wasn't he, Asthma?
- And there was them pajamas they found.
355
00:22:41,301 --> 00:22:42,996
- Pajamas?
- Yeah, that's where you come in.
356
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,630
Remember the dozen pink ones
you gave to the boss last Christmas?
357
00:22:45,706 --> 00:22:47,901
Before you knew
that the only color Joe Lilac wears is lilac?
358
00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:49,567
- Yeah.
- So we handed them out to the boys.
359
00:22:49,643 --> 00:22:52,669
And in the suitcase right beside
Benny the Creep when he gets caught
360
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:54,839
is a pair with that big JL monogram.
361
00:22:58,218 --> 00:22:59,446
Who is it?
362
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,546
I'd like to speak to Miss O'Shea
regarding an investigation I'm conducting.
363
00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,883
Okay, we'll take care of it.
364
00:23:05,225 --> 00:23:06,749
Just a minute.
365
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:13,297
- How do you do, Miss O'Shea?
- Hello.
366
00:23:13,367 --> 00:23:15,267
I hate to intrude like this,
but mine is a very...
367
00:23:15,335 --> 00:23:16,529
Cut the corners. What is it?
368
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:19,504
Well, this inquiry
is one of considerable importance.
369
00:23:19,573 --> 00:23:21,541
- Stop beating up with the gums.
- What was that?
370
00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:23,098
Get this. I don't know from nothing.
371
00:23:23,177 --> 00:23:25,873
Oh, but you do.
Every word you say proves as much.
372
00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:28,346
- Where's that paper?
- Subpoena?
373
00:23:28,415 --> 00:23:31,680
Suppose you tell the DA
to take a nice running jump for himself?
374
00:23:31,752 --> 00:23:34,880
Bewildering. And you want to tell me
you're not the person I'm looking for?
375
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:38,618
- Say, how many of you are on this job?
- The entire project? Eight.
376
00:23:38,692 --> 00:23:41,820
Oh. The other seven waiting outside?
377
00:23:41,895 --> 00:23:43,886
Oh, no. They're at home.
Sound asleep I imagine.
378
00:23:43,964 --> 00:23:46,660
- Asleep?
- Yes, they go to bed at 9:00 every night.
379
00:23:46,733 --> 00:23:49,827
Do you mean to tell me
with crime what it is in New York...
380
00:23:49,903 --> 00:23:51,632
Say, are you a bull or aren't you?
381
00:23:51,705 --> 00:23:54,697
Well, if bull is the slang word
for professor, then I'm a bull.
382
00:23:54,775 --> 00:23:56,333
- A professor?
- Of English.
383
00:23:56,410 --> 00:23:57,399
Oh.
384
00:23:57,478 --> 00:23:59,639
I thought
there was some misunderstanding.
385
00:23:59,713 --> 00:24:00,839
Sure was.
386
00:24:00,914 --> 00:24:03,246
You see, I'm conducting an investigation
on current slang.
387
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:06,115
Would you object
if I used you for observation and study?
388
00:24:06,186 --> 00:24:07,881
- Yeah, I would.
- If I could have your assistance
389
00:24:07,955 --> 00:24:09,047
for just a few days it would be...
390
00:24:09,123 --> 00:24:10,681
Out, out, Professor.
391
00:24:10,757 --> 00:24:13,157
- Then you won't help me?
- No. Out. Shove in your clutch.
392
00:24:13,227 --> 00:24:15,559
"Shove in your clutch."
Exactly the kind of thing I want.
393
00:24:15,629 --> 00:24:18,097
Perhaps if I could come back here again
when you have more time...
394
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,429
Save the gas. I won't be here after tonight.
395
00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:23,026
Well, look,
here's the address of the Foundation
396
00:24:23,103 --> 00:24:25,196
if you should happen
to change your mind by any chance.
397
00:24:25,272 --> 00:24:27,399
- It's my residence, as well.
- Listen, not now.
398
00:24:27,474 --> 00:24:31,035
- Well, I'll just leave it here.
- Okay, scrow, scram, scraw.
399
00:24:31,111 --> 00:24:34,205
The complete conjugation.
All right, I'll scraw.
400
00:24:36,216 --> 00:24:38,275
Stop futzing around.
You haven't got time to get dressed.
401
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,876
- All right. Only I...
- We'll go out the window.
402
00:24:39,953 --> 00:24:41,614
I think you're a pair of cracked dice.
403
00:24:44,825 --> 00:24:46,622
- Excuse me.
- Look out, mister.
404
00:24:51,965 --> 00:24:53,330
Good night.
405
00:24:54,501 --> 00:24:56,799
- Miss O'Shea.
- What do you want?
406
00:24:58,038 --> 00:24:59,471
Right there.
407
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,805
Open up. District Attorney's office.
408
00:25:21,161 --> 00:25:23,686
- Where to?
- Just keep cruising, Jack.
409
00:25:24,765 --> 00:25:27,962
- Well?
- How about that warehouse on West 11th?
410
00:25:28,035 --> 00:25:29,468
- No. Too many rats.
- Hey, wait a minute.
411
00:25:29,536 --> 00:25:31,766
- Where are you taking me?
- It's just for the night, Sugarpuss.
412
00:25:31,838 --> 00:25:33,829
We can't take you to your place,
they'll have it covered.
413
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:36,171
Joe's apartment,
they got sealed up like a can of coffee.
414
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:38,803
Oh, I see.
Yeah, but you live someplace, don't you?
415
00:25:38,879 --> 00:25:40,278
Yeah, sure and the cops know where.
416
00:25:40,347 --> 00:25:43,748
Yeah, hotel, I thought of a hotel,
but they'll fan every hotel in town.
417
00:25:43,817 --> 00:25:45,114
Well, I could change my name.
418
00:25:45,185 --> 00:25:48,677
Listen, Sugie, why take chances?
It's an awful nice warehouse.
419
00:25:48,755 --> 00:25:52,088
He says rats, big mouth does.
Well, maybe a few little bitty mice.
420
00:25:52,159 --> 00:25:53,148
Uh-uh. That's out.
421
00:25:53,227 --> 00:25:56,287
Tomorrow we'll get hold of a lawyer
and figure out something with more class.
422
00:25:56,363 --> 00:25:58,194
Say, I got an uncle who's an undertaker
423
00:25:58,265 --> 00:26:00,495
and with business like it is,
he's always got an extra slab.
424
00:26:00,567 --> 00:26:03,559
That's fine. That's all I need.
Keep thinking.
425
00:26:04,671 --> 00:26:06,400
Hey, what's this?
426
00:26:06,473 --> 00:26:09,067
"Bertram Potts..."
Oh, that's that professor jerk.
427
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:14,669
Uh-oh.
428
00:26:20,087 --> 00:26:22,078
I never would have believed it.
429
00:26:22,155 --> 00:26:23,952
But how do you account for the name?
430
00:26:24,024 --> 00:26:25,514
Have I missed anything?
431
00:26:25,592 --> 00:26:27,457
No, I was just about to explain...
432
00:26:27,527 --> 00:26:29,961
- You see, the word "puss" means face.
- Yes.
433
00:26:30,030 --> 00:26:32,624
As for instance, sourpuss, picklepuss.
434
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,062
Sugarpuss implies
a certain sweetness in her appearance.
435
00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,125
- Sugar, yes, yes.
- Yes.
436
00:26:37,204 --> 00:26:38,762
Never mind the etymology.
437
00:26:38,839 --> 00:26:40,431
- Was she...
- Was she blonde or brunette?
438
00:26:40,507 --> 00:26:43,305
- Yes, which?
- That, I don't know. I didn't notice.
439
00:26:43,744 --> 00:26:45,769
But her vocabulary,
even in ordinary conversation...
440
00:26:45,846 --> 00:26:47,677
You spoke to her?
441
00:26:47,748 --> 00:26:49,545
- Yes, in her dressing room...
- In her dressing room?
442
00:26:49,616 --> 00:26:51,447
- Backstage?
- Yes.
443
00:26:51,518 --> 00:26:55,181
Unfortunately,
she disclaimed any interest in our project
444
00:26:56,823 --> 00:26:59,690
in words so bizarre
they made my mouth water.
445
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,627
- "Shove in your clutch," for instance.
- Why, it's amazing.
446
00:27:02,696 --> 00:27:04,721
Potts, could you tell us
what was it like backstage?
447
00:27:04,798 --> 00:27:06,561
Very vivacious, I imagine.
448
00:27:06,633 --> 00:27:11,127
And perhaps, ballerinas giggling
up and down iron staircases.
449
00:27:11,204 --> 00:27:12,762
Around and around.
450
00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:15,467
- Possibly wearing tights.
- Tights.
451
00:27:15,542 --> 00:27:18,636
And that ineffable smell of rice powder.
452
00:27:18,712 --> 00:27:20,373
On nude shoulders.
453
00:27:22,115 --> 00:27:23,241
Well.
454
00:27:24,318 --> 00:27:26,183
It's getting a bit late, gentlemen.
455
00:27:26,253 --> 00:27:28,448
Perhaps we had better get to bed.
456
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:38,998
Someday, I'll tell you my experiences
457
00:27:39,066 --> 00:27:40,931
with a young actress
named Lillian Russell.
458
00:27:41,001 --> 00:27:42,025
Did you know her?
459
00:27:42,102 --> 00:27:44,036
I stood in the snow four hours to get to...
460
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:47,105
Is that our doorbell?
461
00:27:47,174 --> 00:27:48,641
But it's 12:25.
462
00:27:48,709 --> 00:27:52,008
It must be the statistics
on San Salvador's saltpeter.
463
00:27:52,346 --> 00:27:53,335
I'll get it.
464
00:27:53,413 --> 00:27:56,473
I asked for it to be sent registered airmail.
465
00:27:59,853 --> 00:28:01,115
Hi-de-ho.
466
00:28:02,289 --> 00:28:04,587
Don't tell me I'm too late for class,
Professor.
467
00:28:04,658 --> 00:28:05,647
Oh, my goodness gracious.
468
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,552
Say, what is that?
469
00:28:09,796 --> 00:28:11,991
- Those are my colleagues.
- Oh.
470
00:28:12,766 --> 00:28:16,202
- I apologize for their lack of costume.
- Oh, that's all right, Professor.
471
00:28:16,269 --> 00:28:18,032
And the fact
that I haven't got my tie on and...
472
00:28:18,105 --> 00:28:21,336
Oh, you know,
once I watched my big brother shave.
473
00:28:23,143 --> 00:28:25,270
- Won't you come in?
- Why not?
474
00:28:26,313 --> 00:28:29,373
Frankly, your coming here
was the last thing I expected.
475
00:28:29,449 --> 00:28:30,711
Your "no" was so explicit.
476
00:28:30,784 --> 00:28:32,274
Well, I got thinking it over
477
00:28:32,352 --> 00:28:34,946
and "Foo," I said to myself,
"Who am I to give science the brush?"
478
00:28:35,021 --> 00:28:38,548
- Then I take it you've reconsidered?
- Yeah, that's the big idea.
479
00:28:38,625 --> 00:28:39,751
Well.
480
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,289
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
481
00:28:43,196 --> 00:28:44,458
Look out.
482
00:28:45,699 --> 00:28:49,328
- Well, that was Professor Oddly.
- Any more of them around?
483
00:28:49,403 --> 00:28:50,802
I hope not.
484
00:28:51,538 --> 00:28:53,733
Say, who decorated this place?
485
00:28:55,142 --> 00:28:56,769
- The mug that shot Lincoln?
- This is our work room.
486
00:28:57,377 --> 00:28:59,538
The living quarters are upstairs.
487
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:02,639
That's a lot of books. All of them different?
488
00:29:02,749 --> 00:29:03,738
- I trust.
- Uh-huh.
489
00:29:03,850 --> 00:29:06,375
- May I have your coat?
- Yeah, thanks.
490
00:29:07,888 --> 00:29:09,287
Miss O'Shea.
491
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:15,421
Greek philosophy,
I've got a set like this with a radio inside.
492
00:29:15,862 --> 00:29:17,955
Are you sure you don't want your coat?
493
00:29:18,031 --> 00:29:21,057
No, I'm fine.
Except I've got a run in this stocking.
494
00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,658
Well, how do we start, Professor?
495
00:29:22,736 --> 00:29:25,864
You see, this is the first time
anybody moved in on my brain.
496
00:29:25,939 --> 00:29:28,203
Have you got some kind of a machine,
497
00:29:28,275 --> 00:29:31,403
an X-ray or a vacuum cleaner maybe
that sorts out the words you want?
498
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:33,036
What's your method, Professor?
499
00:29:33,113 --> 00:29:36,412
Well, it's quite simple. If you will be here
tomorrow morning not later than 9:30...
500
00:29:36,483 --> 00:29:37,472
Tomorrow morning?
501
00:29:37,551 --> 00:29:40,281
Why, yes.
I have arranged a round table discussion
502
00:29:40,353 --> 00:29:43,151
with a few people of various backgrounds.
503
00:29:43,223 --> 00:29:44,349
Uh-huh.
504
00:29:44,424 --> 00:29:48,224
You don't think we could sort of
begin the Beguine right now?
505
00:29:48,295 --> 00:29:50,388
Well, it's nearly 1:00, Miss O'Shea.
506
00:29:50,464 --> 00:29:52,557
Oh, foo, Professor,
let's get ourselves a couple of drinks,
507
00:29:52,632 --> 00:29:55,362
light the fire maybe, and you can start
working on me right away.
508
00:29:55,435 --> 00:29:58,700
I wouldn't think of imposing upon you
at this hour.
509
00:29:58,772 --> 00:30:01,639
Listen, I figured on working all night.
510
00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:05,303
Well, any hasty random discussion
would be of no scientific value.
511
00:30:05,378 --> 00:30:07,312
You see, I have to have my notes
thoroughly prepared
512
00:30:07,380 --> 00:30:09,405
for the seminar tomorrow.
513
00:30:10,050 --> 00:30:11,984
Okay. Where do I sleep?
514
00:30:12,719 --> 00:30:14,448
I don't know. Where do you live?
515
00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,250
Up on Riverside.
But I'm going to sleep here.
516
00:30:16,323 --> 00:30:17,517
Here?
517
00:30:17,591 --> 00:30:19,525
You don't understand, Miss O'Shea.
518
00:30:19,593 --> 00:30:23,495
We're all bachelors with the exception
of Professor Oddly, who is a widower.
519
00:30:23,563 --> 00:30:25,326
Why, no woman ever...
520
00:30:25,899 --> 00:30:27,992
Even Miss Bragg who takes care
of our needs
521
00:30:28,068 --> 00:30:30,400
goes home every night at 7:30.
522
00:30:30,470 --> 00:30:32,961
If you want me
tomorrow morning at 9:30, you...
523
00:30:33,039 --> 00:30:34,939
Oh, I do, Miss O'Shea.
524
00:30:37,244 --> 00:30:40,736
Even the most free-thinking people
must respect the...
525
00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:43,679
All right, feel that.
526
00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:46,082
Go on. Feel that foot.
527
00:30:47,621 --> 00:30:50,112
Okay, tootsie bell, what do you say?
528
00:30:50,190 --> 00:30:52,681
- It's cold.
- It's cold and it's wet.
529
00:30:54,327 --> 00:30:55,885
Now, come here.
530
00:30:57,998 --> 00:30:59,329
Come here.
531
00:31:01,935 --> 00:31:03,163
Closer.
532
00:31:04,804 --> 00:31:05,998
Closer.
533
00:31:06,806 --> 00:31:08,774
Come on, give.
534
00:31:08,842 --> 00:31:11,436
Hello, kids. Look down my throat.
535
00:31:11,511 --> 00:31:13,103
Go on. Look down.
536
00:31:13,179 --> 00:31:15,079
All right, right down there, look.
537
00:31:15,148 --> 00:31:17,309
I don't know what to look for.
538
00:31:17,384 --> 00:31:21,411
There is possibly a slight rosiness
in the laryngeal region.
539
00:31:21,488 --> 00:31:22,978
Slight rosiness?
540
00:31:23,056 --> 00:31:25,456
It's as red as the Daily Worker
and just as sore.
541
00:31:25,525 --> 00:31:27,049
- Who are you?
- I'm...
542
00:31:27,127 --> 00:31:28,287
Who is he?
543
00:31:28,361 --> 00:31:31,797
This is Dr. Magenbruch,
our physiological expert.
544
00:31:31,865 --> 00:31:33,696
This is Professor Robinson, law.
545
00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:37,601
- Professor Gurkakoff...
- Not so fast. Just let it creep up on me.
546
00:31:37,671 --> 00:31:39,070
I'll get to know them.
547
00:31:39,139 --> 00:31:42,370
Come here, physiology.
For all I know, I've got a fever. Feel.
548
00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:43,704
- It's possible.
- Certainly.
549
00:31:43,777 --> 00:31:46,177
And he wants to throw me out on my tin.
550
00:31:46,246 --> 00:31:49,010
There'll be no 9:30 for me
if you let me go out in the rain now.
551
00:31:49,082 --> 00:31:50,106
Naturally not.
552
00:31:50,183 --> 00:31:52,583
With the streets cold
and the subway hot and full of germs.
553
00:31:52,652 --> 00:31:55,086
I'm a push-over for streptococcus.
554
00:31:55,589 --> 00:31:58,183
- Can I have this now, kid?
- Pardon me.
555
00:31:59,059 --> 00:32:02,358
We'll call you a heated taxi and furnish you
with woolen socks and warm slippers.
556
00:32:02,429 --> 00:32:04,863
- How do you like that?
- Really, I don't understand you, Potts.
557
00:32:04,931 --> 00:32:07,263
- Why take chances?
- With valuable material?
558
00:32:07,334 --> 00:32:10,235
- You must think of your article, Potts.
- See, they get the point.
559
00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:12,430
If I might venture a suggestion,
560
00:32:12,539 --> 00:32:14,268
why couldn't the young lady
sleep in my room?
561
00:32:14,341 --> 00:32:15,535
- What?
- What?
562
00:32:15,609 --> 00:32:17,736
- Well!
- Professor Peagram!
563
00:32:18,511 --> 00:32:20,445
I can bunk in with Professor Robinson.
564
00:32:20,513 --> 00:32:22,344
I sometimes do
when there's an electric storm.
565
00:32:22,415 --> 00:32:24,212
Yes, he's afraid of thunder.
566
00:32:24,284 --> 00:32:26,616
Well, then it's all settled.
567
00:32:26,686 --> 00:32:29,951
Well, I guess I'll turn in.
Can I have my coat?
568
00:32:30,023 --> 00:32:32,617
- Of course.
- Thank you.
569
00:32:32,692 --> 00:32:34,751
- Hi-de-ho, fellows.
- Hi-de-ho.
570
00:32:35,595 --> 00:32:38,393
- I'll show you to my room.
- Yes, we all will go.
571
00:32:38,465 --> 00:32:39,830
I know where my own room is, thank you,
572
00:32:39,899 --> 00:32:41,992
- without any help from you.
- Why shouldn't... Why shouldn't...
573
00:32:42,068 --> 00:32:44,730
I'll find it. Don't bother.
Just rough out the directions.
574
00:32:44,804 --> 00:32:47,432
Top of the stairs
and the third door on the left.
575
00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:49,372
Gentlemen, just a moment, please.
576
00:32:49,442 --> 00:32:50,966
Gentlemen, this is all highly irregular.
577
00:32:51,044 --> 00:32:53,171
What if this should come
to the attention of the Foundation?
578
00:32:53,246 --> 00:32:54,611
And what about Miss Bragg tomorrow?
579
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:57,241
What are you talking about?
This is research, isn't it?
580
00:32:57,317 --> 00:32:58,579
- Yes.
- Certainly.
581
00:32:58,652 --> 00:33:01,382
Who was that guy learned so much
from watching an apple drop?
582
00:33:01,454 --> 00:33:05,515
Isaac Newton, 1642 to 1727.
583
00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:08,254
- The law of gravity.
- Yeah, that's him.
584
00:33:08,828 --> 00:33:12,924
And I want you to look at me
as another apple, Professor Potts.
585
00:33:12,999 --> 00:33:14,728
Just another apple.
586
00:33:23,576 --> 00:33:25,441
It fits you like a glove,
you admit that, don't you?
587
00:33:25,512 --> 00:33:28,811
I like a little more effect around
the shoulders, sort of a puffed sleeve.
588
00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:32,443
- You know that JL could be Joe Lilac.
- Could be.
589
00:33:32,986 --> 00:33:36,080
- Still claim it isn't yours?
- No, it isn't and never was.
590
00:33:36,156 --> 00:33:39,182
Come on, loosen up, Joe.
It's 5:00 in the morning.
591
00:33:39,259 --> 00:33:41,591
How's about a little Benzedrine?
592
00:33:41,661 --> 00:33:43,754
- Put it on Benny the Creep.
- Sure.
593
00:33:43,830 --> 00:33:45,161
Take off your coat.
594
00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:48,632
I should have brought along my valet.
I'm a sucker for comfort.
595
00:33:48,702 --> 00:33:51,364
Why, don't worry, Joe.
You'll have your comfort.
596
00:33:51,438 --> 00:33:55,841
We'll have platinum bars on your cell,
and we'll heat up a chair for you, special.
597
00:33:55,942 --> 00:33:57,466
Twenty thousand volts.
598
00:33:58,945 --> 00:34:00,207
AC or DC?
599
00:34:03,950 --> 00:34:06,475
- So those are your pajamas, huh?
- Yep.
600
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,880
You always wear them
three sizes too big?
601
00:34:09,956 --> 00:34:14,222
Allows for my chest expansion.
And my fingers get kind of chilly at night.
602
00:34:14,294 --> 00:34:16,228
And the JL?
603
00:34:17,464 --> 00:34:20,558
It stands for jellybean.
It stands for lollipop.
604
00:34:21,868 --> 00:34:23,699
- Take him away.
- Come on.
605
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:25,897
That's fine. That's great.
606
00:34:27,173 --> 00:34:30,336
You never heard of Benny the Creep.
Benny the Creep never heard of you.
607
00:34:30,410 --> 00:34:32,674
There was no murder.
And there is no murder ring
608
00:34:32,746 --> 00:34:35,977
with you at the control boards
pushing the buttons.
609
00:34:36,516 --> 00:34:38,245
- Good morning, Joe.
- Hiya, McNeary?
610
00:34:38,318 --> 00:34:40,479
Morning, and pardon my glove,
Mr. District Attorney.
611
00:34:40,553 --> 00:34:42,180
Good morning.
612
00:34:42,255 --> 00:34:46,692
- All right, I've got a writ of habeas corpus.
- I've forgotten my reading glasses.
613
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,921
Too bad. Come on, Joe.
614
00:34:48,995 --> 00:34:50,986
May be a couple of days
before I find them.
615
00:34:51,064 --> 00:34:54,192
- I won't stand for my client's...
- It's all right, McNeary.
616
00:34:54,267 --> 00:34:56,235
The man's trying to clean up the city.
617
00:34:56,302 --> 00:34:58,497
Why not give him
all the cooperation we can?
618
00:34:58,571 --> 00:35:02,029
- Does that mean you're going to talk, Joe?
- What about?
619
00:35:02,876 --> 00:35:05,401
Well, I'll make the pajamas talk.
620
00:35:05,478 --> 00:35:07,469
Here's the sales slip for them.
621
00:35:07,547 --> 00:35:10,607
They were bought by Miss O'Shea.
She bought them for you.
622
00:35:10,683 --> 00:35:13,777
Or maybe you never heard of her.
Maybe she isn't your girlfriend.
623
00:35:13,853 --> 00:35:18,051
- Why bring a lady's name into this?
- I'll bring the lady in herself.
624
00:35:20,193 --> 00:35:23,060
Where do we stand with that O'Shea girl?
What?
625
00:35:23,129 --> 00:35:24,528
What about the deputies?
626
00:35:24,597 --> 00:35:26,224
All right, let me talk to Collins himself.
627
00:35:26,299 --> 00:35:27,823
- What about the girl?
- Don't worry.
628
00:35:27,901 --> 00:35:30,267
We've got her in safe deposit temporarily.
629
00:35:30,336 --> 00:35:33,499
- Temporarily is not good enough.
- I've got something figured out.
630
00:35:33,573 --> 00:35:35,666
- Nothing gloomy, I hope.
- Strictly legal.
631
00:35:35,742 --> 00:35:37,266
A wife can't testify against her husband.
632
00:35:37,343 --> 00:35:39,038
- She's not my wife.
- Not yet, she isn't.
633
00:35:39,112 --> 00:35:41,342
But once they let you go,
we'll pull a fastie.
634
00:35:41,414 --> 00:35:42,745
Of all the incompetent...
635
00:35:42,816 --> 00:35:44,545
What sweetheart dreamed up that law?
636
00:35:44,617 --> 00:35:48,678
Don't give me that. You've had six hours.
Tell those guys to get a jump on.
637
00:35:51,457 --> 00:35:53,049
Having some trouble, Mr. DA?
638
00:35:53,126 --> 00:35:54,457
Don't worry, Joe.
639
00:35:54,527 --> 00:35:57,496
And don't underestimate this office
or the State of New York.
640
00:35:57,564 --> 00:36:00,624
I've got some boys
that can find a needle in a haystack.
641
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:01,894
Why, that's a cinch.
642
00:36:01,968 --> 00:36:06,268
All you have to do is get a horse
to eat the hay and then X-ray the horse.
643
00:36:13,646 --> 00:36:15,409
Okay. Okay.
644
00:36:16,950 --> 00:36:18,577
Hold your horses.
645
00:36:21,454 --> 00:36:23,718
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
646
00:36:23,823 --> 00:36:26,656
What time is it?
This is worse than being in the army.
647
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:29,695
Professor Potts started
the round table discussion 10 minutes ago.
648
00:36:29,762 --> 00:36:32,128
He did? Say, that's divastigating.
649
00:36:32,198 --> 00:36:34,894
- And this came for you.
- Who brought it?
650
00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:37,869
- A couple of persons.
- Any message?
651
00:36:37,937 --> 00:36:40,997
- Well, they spoke very picturesquely.
- Yeah, very.
652
00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:44,168
Yes, they said it's getting hot and hotter
653
00:36:44,244 --> 00:36:47,042
and to stay in the icebox
like a good little salad.
654
00:36:47,113 --> 00:36:49,377
And this is the dressing.
655
00:36:49,449 --> 00:36:51,974
- The salad, huh?
- And we wondered what it meant.
656
00:36:52,051 --> 00:36:53,075
Yes, we did.
657
00:36:53,152 --> 00:36:54,949
I'll tell you, sweetie. I...
658
00:36:55,021 --> 00:36:56,386
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
659
00:36:56,456 --> 00:36:58,083
- Miss Bragg.
- Oh, my goodness.
660
00:36:58,157 --> 00:37:00,455
Sounds like Mother calling.
Kids, you better go.
661
00:37:00,526 --> 00:37:02,460
See you later.
662
00:37:02,528 --> 00:37:06,521
- Gentlemen, where are you, gentlemen?
- We're coming, Miss Bragg, we're coming.
663
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:09,067
- On our way.
- I would like to talk to you.
664
00:37:09,135 --> 00:37:10,124
I wanted to ask you,
665
00:37:10,203 --> 00:37:12,171
what were all your trousers
doing in my kitchen?
666
00:37:12,238 --> 00:37:14,536
- I wanted mine pressed.
- Well, that accounts for one pair.
667
00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:16,404
- I did, too.
- Mine, too.
668
00:37:16,476 --> 00:37:18,341
Seven pairs, all at once?
669
00:37:18,411 --> 00:37:20,470
What's going on in this house anyway?
670
00:37:20,546 --> 00:37:23,538
No constitutional this morning.
You've hardly touched your breakfast.
671
00:37:23,616 --> 00:37:26,949
Professor Potts in the dining room with
a conglomeration of dubious characters.
672
00:37:27,020 --> 00:37:28,146
You, not at your desks.
673
00:37:28,221 --> 00:37:31,748
- That's right, gentlemen, we have to work.
- Yes, we have to work.
674
00:37:31,824 --> 00:37:36,727
- What were you doing upstairs, anyway?
- We took up a suitcase.
675
00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:38,525
- Suitcase?
- Yes.
676
00:37:38,598 --> 00:37:40,862
- Whose suitcase?
- We're very busy, Miss Bragg.
677
00:37:40,934 --> 00:37:42,128
I said, whose suitcase?
678
00:37:42,201 --> 00:37:45,534
Well, now, Miss Bragg, there is...
679
00:37:47,273 --> 00:37:49,707
- There is someone staying with us.
- Staying with us?
680
00:37:49,776 --> 00:37:52,609
- That's it.
- Who?
681
00:37:52,679 --> 00:37:54,078
Who's staying with us?
682
00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:56,342
What's the matter? Cat got your tongues?
683
00:37:56,416 --> 00:37:58,543
- Who's staying with us?
- Well, I...
684
00:37:58,618 --> 00:38:02,054
- Well, I... Oh, dear.
- Professor Potts didn't tell you?
685
00:38:02,121 --> 00:38:04,453
- No, and I want to know.
- Well, under the pressure
686
00:38:04,524 --> 00:38:06,719
- of a very trying assignment...
- Yes?
687
00:38:06,793 --> 00:38:09,057
- He's...
- Go on.
688
00:38:09,128 --> 00:38:11,756
- He's taken a temporary assistant.
- Yes.
689
00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:14,732
- So we're running a hotel now.
- Not exactly.
690
00:38:14,801 --> 00:38:17,929
It seems to me that... Professor Robinson,
691
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:21,337
- is that one of your socks?
- No, not mine.
692
00:38:22,141 --> 00:38:23,768
I wish that it...
693
00:38:25,411 --> 00:38:28,710
Well, I know Professor Peagram
explains the corset he wears
694
00:38:28,781 --> 00:38:30,180
as due to a floating kidney.
695
00:38:30,249 --> 00:38:31,648
What's the explanation of this?
696
00:38:31,718 --> 00:38:36,018
Say, kids, I'm stuck.
Any of you can jerk a zipper?
697
00:38:36,089 --> 00:38:37,317
A zipper?
698
00:38:37,390 --> 00:38:39,756
Yeah, the darn thing's stuck...
699
00:38:39,826 --> 00:38:41,555
Hello, who are you?
700
00:38:41,627 --> 00:38:45,154
- This is our Miss Bragg.
- Miss... Did you say Bag?
701
00:38:45,231 --> 00:38:46,789
Bragg. How do you do?
702
00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:48,800
Great-o.
Do you know anything about zippers?
703
00:38:48,868 --> 00:38:50,267
- Do you? Do you?
- Well, I...
704
00:38:50,336 --> 00:38:51,633
- Well, do you?
- Do I?
705
00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:55,105
- No, I don't, but Professor Gurkakoff.
- Okay.
706
00:38:55,174 --> 00:38:58,200
- Well, it's purely mechanical.
- But look, you were married.
707
00:38:58,277 --> 00:38:59,471
No, I'm just a botanist.
708
00:38:59,545 --> 00:39:01,877
Look, kids, after all,
you know, this is only a zipper.
709
00:39:01,948 --> 00:39:04,178
- Come on, Gurky.
- Well, I can try.
710
00:39:04,250 --> 00:39:06,514
You know, I had this happen one night
in the middle of my act.
711
00:39:06,586 --> 00:39:09,419
I couldn't get a thing off,
was I embarrassed.
712
00:39:09,489 --> 00:39:10,888
How's chances for a cup of coffee?
713
00:39:10,957 --> 00:39:13,949
- No breakfast after 9:00.
- You see, it's a rule.
714
00:39:14,027 --> 00:39:17,121
Just like my Aunt Beulah that
brought me up, that's why I left home.
715
00:39:17,196 --> 00:39:18,185
- There.
- Oh, swell.
716
00:39:18,264 --> 00:39:20,027
Now where is this little clambake
of Professor Potts'?
717
00:39:20,099 --> 00:39:23,500
- In the dining room, just across the hall.
- In the dining room. See you later, kids.
718
00:39:28,374 --> 00:39:31,537
Don't tell me the jive session
has beat off without baby.
719
00:39:31,611 --> 00:39:34,079
Shut the door please, Miss O'Shea.
720
00:39:37,583 --> 00:39:38,607
You're late.
721
00:39:38,684 --> 00:39:40,879
I won't waste time with introductions.
These are our collaborators.
722
00:39:40,953 --> 00:39:42,477
- Hi, kids.
- Hi.
723
00:39:42,555 --> 00:39:45,080
As I was saying, I've worked out
a series of cross-references
724
00:39:45,158 --> 00:39:47,251
which I believe will be the best approach
to our subject.
725
00:39:47,326 --> 00:39:48,759
Going like gangbusters, isn't he?
726
00:39:48,828 --> 00:39:50,489
Sit down, please.
727
00:39:53,833 --> 00:39:57,030
I don't think
you'll find our venture dull, Miss O'Shea.
728
00:39:57,103 --> 00:40:00,937
The scientific conquest of
an important subject is never dull.
729
00:40:01,707 --> 00:40:04,369
"Slang," as the poet
Carl Sandburg has said,
730
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:06,105
"is language which takes off its coat,
731
00:40:06,179 --> 00:40:08,340
"spits on its hands and goes to work."
732
00:40:08,414 --> 00:40:11,315
Let us... Let us, too,
then get down to work.
733
00:40:17,990 --> 00:40:20,891
Well, we've accomplished a lot
in the last three days,
734
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,485
and I'm very grateful to all of you.
735
00:40:23,563 --> 00:40:26,054
There's another word
I'd like to take up now.
736
00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:28,191
It's recurred several times
in our discussions,
737
00:40:28,267 --> 00:40:30,258
and its meaning still eludes me.
738
00:40:30,336 --> 00:40:31,928
I think it was Miss O'Shea
who used it yesterday
739
00:40:32,004 --> 00:40:34,632
in reference to the cuffs that I wear.
740
00:40:34,707 --> 00:40:37,437
- The word is "corny."
- Yeah, wouldn't you say they were corny?
741
00:40:37,510 --> 00:40:40,877
- Because of the cornstarch in them?
- Because it's 1941.
742
00:40:41,614 --> 00:40:45,573
- Then corny means old-fashioned.
- Kind of hick, loose-tooth.
743
00:40:45,651 --> 00:40:47,175
Mortimer Snerd.
744
00:40:47,987 --> 00:40:49,545
Oh, gee.
745
00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:51,817
There's other kinds of corn, too.
746
00:40:51,891 --> 00:40:53,552
When you give your girl
your fraternity pin,
747
00:40:53,626 --> 00:40:55,924
well, if she says, "I'll keep it forever,"
748
00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:58,259
- that's corny, too.
- Yeah, or take a joke.
749
00:40:58,331 --> 00:41:00,128
"That's no lady, that's my wife."
750
00:41:00,199 --> 00:41:02,531
Making your baby's shoes into ashtrays.
751
00:41:02,602 --> 00:41:03,967
- That's corn.
- Right off the cob.
752
00:41:04,036 --> 00:41:06,334
Well, let's stick to corn.
753
00:41:06,405 --> 00:41:08,270
Is it synonymous with baloney?
754
00:41:08,341 --> 00:41:11,435
No, it's anything
that gets them in the sticks.
755
00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:14,105
"Long time, no see," that's Indian corn.
756
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:15,738
Yeah, when a guy comes to see a girl
and says,
757
00:41:15,815 --> 00:41:17,646
"Let's turn off the lights,
it hurts my eyes."
758
00:41:17,717 --> 00:41:19,412
Brother, that's corn.
759
00:41:19,485 --> 00:41:22,545
The implication is
he's trying to pull some hoytoytoy.
760
00:41:22,622 --> 00:41:26,581
- You're catching on, Professor.
- Countrified, old-fashioned, sentimental.
761
00:41:39,605 --> 00:41:41,095
Business kind of peaked, Jack?
762
00:41:41,174 --> 00:41:44,075
Yeah, it takes up a lot of time
being on the faculty.
763
00:41:44,143 --> 00:41:46,111
- I'll buy the heap.
- There's no call for you to do that.
764
00:41:46,179 --> 00:41:48,010
Why not?
I want to line my bureau drawers.
765
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:49,206
Gee, thanks.
766
00:41:49,982 --> 00:41:53,213
- Back in a second, Professor.
- Oh, yes, all right.
767
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,361
- Miss O'Shea.
- Just a minute.
768
00:42:13,639 --> 00:42:14,765
- Miss O'Shea.
- Yeah?
769
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:16,705
We saw you pass the library arch,
770
00:42:16,776 --> 00:42:19,074
and we kind of got a little problem
on our hands.
771
00:42:19,145 --> 00:42:20,578
- Would you help us?
- Why, I'd love to.
772
00:42:20,646 --> 00:42:21,670
Oh, good.
773
00:42:22,481 --> 00:42:24,449
You're kind of spruced up today,
aren't you, Professor?
774
00:42:24,517 --> 00:42:26,144
- The spats?
- Yeah.
775
00:42:26,219 --> 00:42:29,848
I ran across them in my bottom drawer.
Why let the moths eat them?
776
00:42:29,922 --> 00:42:31,981
Attaboy. What's your problem, sweetie?
777
00:42:32,058 --> 00:42:33,923
- Well, look.
- Let me start again.
778
00:42:34,126 --> 00:42:36,151
But, Professor,
I'm completely exhausted.
779
00:42:36,229 --> 00:42:39,426
But we've got to get it right.
Now, start with the right foot.
780
00:42:39,498 --> 00:42:41,159
- The left foot.
- The right foot.
781
00:42:41,234 --> 00:42:42,292
Gentlemen, it's the left foot.
782
00:42:42,368 --> 00:42:44,427
- Which foot, please?
- The right foot.
783
00:42:44,503 --> 00:42:46,596
All right, but you're wrong.
784
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:49,301
One, two, three, four.
785
00:42:49,375 --> 00:42:51,775
One, two, three.
786
00:42:51,844 --> 00:42:54,312
But I can't "humph" from here.
787
00:42:55,514 --> 00:42:58,677
We've been working on it
ever since luncheon.
788
00:42:58,751 --> 00:42:59,877
Holy smoke.
789
00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:03,547
- Start again with the left foot, come on.
- The left foot.
790
00:43:05,758 --> 00:43:08,192
One, two, three.
791
00:43:09,328 --> 00:43:11,023
Well, it's the right motion.
792
00:43:11,097 --> 00:43:14,464
- But it doesn't feel right.
- It doesn't look right.
793
00:43:15,001 --> 00:43:16,798
Possibly it isn't right.
794
00:43:16,869 --> 00:43:19,201
There was two "humphs." Humph, humph.
795
00:43:19,272 --> 00:43:21,706
Well, that would make it right.
Humph, humph.
796
00:43:22,541 --> 00:43:23,803
You're wrong, my dear Gurkakoff.
797
00:43:23,876 --> 00:43:26,504
Mathematics can never be wrong.
Look here, I'll show you.
798
00:43:26,579 --> 00:43:28,809
- Stay there, Professor Oddly.
- Show him.
799
00:43:30,549 --> 00:43:31,982
One, two.
800
00:43:32,051 --> 00:43:33,848
Professor Oddly, please stand up.
801
00:43:33,919 --> 00:43:35,147
I beg your pardon.
802
00:43:35,221 --> 00:43:38,782
- One, two, three. Humph, humph.
- Just one.
803
00:43:39,859 --> 00:43:42,623
- The expert is here. We need you.
- What's the trouble?
804
00:43:42,695 --> 00:43:44,526
Well, that dance you showed us last night.
805
00:43:44,597 --> 00:43:46,326
- Yeah?
- Yes, maybe we're not very bright.
806
00:43:46,399 --> 00:43:50,199
Professor Gurkakoff has been trying
to reconstruct it by compound fractions.
807
00:43:50,269 --> 00:43:52,601
- You'd better relax, lover.
- Who, me? Thank you.
808
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:56,631
I can't find the common denominator
between the steps and the music.
809
00:43:56,709 --> 00:43:59,405
You bet you can't, you're playing
a polka, and I taught you a conga.
810
00:43:59,478 --> 00:44:02,106
How about some light in here? Come on.
811
00:44:02,915 --> 00:44:04,815
Look, kids, this is the tempo.
812
00:44:08,454 --> 00:44:09,682
Got it?
813
00:44:13,726 --> 00:44:16,058
- That's right, hit it.
- Hit what?
814
00:44:16,128 --> 00:44:17,755
That's what I told you.
815
00:44:18,164 --> 00:44:22,123
- One, two, three...
- Attaboy, Gurky! You're wonderful!
816
00:44:23,936 --> 00:44:26,632
Wing it, Professor. Hang on.
817
00:44:27,873 --> 00:44:29,340
Good afternoon.
818
00:44:31,610 --> 00:44:32,872
How do you like the new suit?
819
00:44:32,945 --> 00:44:35,072
What the well-dressed professor will wear.
820
00:44:35,147 --> 00:44:37,581
A young lady chased me all the way up
Fifth Avenue.
821
00:44:37,650 --> 00:44:39,618
Probably to tell you
to take the price tag off.
822
00:44:39,685 --> 00:44:41,653
Did you... Did you get the records?
823
00:44:41,721 --> 00:44:44,155
Well, they were all out of
Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar.
824
00:44:44,223 --> 00:44:46,123
- Oh, dear, oh, dear.
- But I got Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
825
00:44:46,192 --> 00:44:49,889
- and Shoot the Sherbet to Me Herbert.
- Now watch us go.
826
00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:53,592
Thank you very much, gentlemen.
827
00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:55,725
The same time tomorrow,
all of you who can.
828
00:44:55,801 --> 00:44:57,769
- Okay, coach, so long.
- Goodbye.
829
00:44:57,837 --> 00:45:00,738
This has given me
a new interest in life, Doc.
830
00:45:00,806 --> 00:45:01,830
Me, too.
831
00:45:01,907 --> 00:45:04,273
I'm gonna use some of those
two-dollar words hollering my papers.
832
00:45:04,343 --> 00:45:08,302
Park Avenue bigamy scandal,
most illuminating, most illuminating!
833
00:45:08,381 --> 00:45:10,645
- So long, Prof.
- And thank you very much.
834
00:45:10,716 --> 00:45:12,013
That's all right.
835
00:45:12,084 --> 00:45:13,881
Excuse me for talking shop,
836
00:45:13,953 --> 00:45:16,820
but your garbage certainly
has cheered up these days.
837
00:45:16,889 --> 00:45:21,588
Flowers, candy boxes, perfume wrappings
and an empty of that sweet French liqueur.
838
00:45:21,660 --> 00:45:24,561
Why, that's not our garbage,
I'm sure.
839
00:45:24,630 --> 00:45:26,689
Maybe it wasn't, but it was in your pail.
840
00:45:29,802 --> 00:45:31,633
I'm leaving, sister.
841
00:45:34,974 --> 00:45:36,373
Miss Bragg.
842
00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:37,841
May I have a word with you,
Professor Potts?
843
00:45:37,910 --> 00:45:39,309
That music, is it coming from next door?
844
00:45:39,378 --> 00:45:41,812
From this door, and that's what
I want to talk to you about.
845
00:45:41,881 --> 00:45:43,508
Either she goes or I go.
846
00:45:43,582 --> 00:45:46,779
- You're speaking of Miss O'Shea?
- I am, Professor Potts.
847
00:45:46,852 --> 00:45:51,152
That is the kind of woman
that makes whole civilizations topple.
848
00:45:51,223 --> 00:45:55,353
It's always been my pride to scrupulously,
untiringly, efficiently...
849
00:45:55,428 --> 00:45:57,794
Now, now, Miss Bragg,
you've split that infinitive three times.
850
00:45:57,863 --> 00:46:00,161
I repeat, either she goes or I go.
851
00:46:00,232 --> 00:46:03,065
I don't like ultimata, Miss Bragg,
but I shall look into the matter.
852
00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:06,332
Don't look into the matter,
look into the library.
853
00:46:22,621 --> 00:46:24,953
Hiya, Pottsy, come on, hook on!
854
00:46:25,024 --> 00:46:26,651
I feel so abandoned.
855
00:46:35,935 --> 00:46:37,596
Hey, what's the big idea?
856
00:46:37,670 --> 00:46:41,037
As soon as you gentlemen get your breath,
we had better have a conference.
857
00:46:41,106 --> 00:46:42,596
Will you please leave the room,
Miss O'Shea?
858
00:46:42,675 --> 00:46:46,634
- But we've only just started.
- If you please, Miss O'Shea.
859
00:46:46,712 --> 00:46:48,646
Loose-tooth again.
860
00:46:48,714 --> 00:46:50,579
Now, if you gentlemen will be kind enough
861
00:46:52,251 --> 00:46:54,116
to get together all that you've written
in the last three days...
862
00:47:02,328 --> 00:47:03,454
Well, it's about time.
863
00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:05,429
I thought you two had amnesia
and forgot where you parked me.
864
00:47:05,498 --> 00:47:06,522
Hold the phone, Sugie.
865
00:47:06,599 --> 00:47:08,897
Dropping me on the doorstep
like a throwaway for a credit dentist.
866
00:47:08,968 --> 00:47:10,993
- You said it was for one night.
- Sugie, for snap's sake.
867
00:47:11,070 --> 00:47:13,300
You're as hot as a pistol.
The DA's got 100 men on the job.
868
00:47:13,372 --> 00:47:16,000
Why, they're squeezing this town
through a sieve, borough by borough.
869
00:47:16,075 --> 00:47:17,303
You tell her, Pastrami.
870
00:47:17,376 --> 00:47:20,038
They're tailing us, Sugie. Took us
three hours to get here from 48th Street.
871
00:47:20,112 --> 00:47:21,909
Detoured through Jamaica, Long Island
to shake them off.
872
00:47:21,981 --> 00:47:23,039
Okay, you wait here.
873
00:47:23,115 --> 00:47:24,514
I'll get my things together
in two seconds flat.
874
00:47:24,583 --> 00:47:25,982
Hey, wait a minute, Sugie.
875
00:47:26,051 --> 00:47:29,714
- We got a surprise for you.
- You ain't leaving, not right yet.
876
00:47:29,788 --> 00:47:31,050
I'm not? Joe's out, isn't he?
877
00:47:31,123 --> 00:47:34,092
Yeah, but for how long? They're laying
for you so they can get him back.
878
00:47:34,159 --> 00:47:35,183
That's the surprise.
879
00:47:35,261 --> 00:47:37,991
I'm supposed to stay in this old mans'
home till the moths eat holes in me?
880
00:47:38,063 --> 00:47:40,554
Say, when I say a surprise,
I mean a surprise.
881
00:47:40,633 --> 00:47:42,328
Go on, flash it to her.
882
00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:44,767
Put on your sunglasses, Sugie.
883
00:47:45,404 --> 00:47:48,271
- Oh, boy.
- Seven grand boiled into that one, Sugie.
884
00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:51,440
Joe doesn't have to bribe me
just because I do him a little favor.
885
00:47:51,510 --> 00:47:53,068
It's not a bribe, don't take it like that.
886
00:47:53,145 --> 00:47:54,305
Let him try and get it back though.
887
00:47:54,380 --> 00:47:55,540
Say, it's not your size, is it?
888
00:47:55,614 --> 00:47:57,479
It'll do, if I have to whittle down my finger.
889
00:47:57,550 --> 00:47:59,780
Third finger, left hand, Sugie.
890
00:47:59,852 --> 00:48:01,945
- Who do you think you're kidding?
- The future Mrs. Joe Lilac.
891
00:48:02,021 --> 00:48:03,818
- Come again?
- Wedding bells, sweetheart.
892
00:48:03,889 --> 00:48:05,481
Joe and the lawyer have got it
all figured out.
893
00:48:05,558 --> 00:48:07,355
Yeah, a wife can't testify
against husband, see.
894
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:08,757
Don't put it like that, you dope.
895
00:48:08,827 --> 00:48:13,025
Say, he's been thataway about you
ever since he first picked you out.
896
00:48:13,098 --> 00:48:15,532
Yeah, but it took the DA
to make him pop the question.
897
00:48:15,601 --> 00:48:16,727
He sent you a love message.
898
00:48:16,802 --> 00:48:19,828
He says to tell you he gets more bang
out of you than any dame he ever knew.
899
00:48:19,905 --> 00:48:23,102
And he's the top, Sugie,
do you realize that? He's the top.
900
00:48:23,208 --> 00:48:24,675
Mrs. Joe Lilac.
901
00:48:24,743 --> 00:48:27,405
Third Avenue girl
in the major league at last.
902
00:48:27,479 --> 00:48:29,777
Wait till they find out,
those other dolls in the show.
903
00:48:29,848 --> 00:48:31,941
Watch me break their crockery with this.
904
00:48:32,017 --> 00:48:33,609
Here, here,
the wedding's got to be a fast one, though.
905
00:48:33,686 --> 00:48:34,948
Over in New Jersey someplace.
906
00:48:35,020 --> 00:48:37,454
Now, this is the application for the license,
and you sign right here.
907
00:48:37,523 --> 00:48:39,184
- Will I? You got a pen?
- Yeah.
908
00:48:39,258 --> 00:48:41,488
- Unscrew it for Mrs. Lilac.
- Right here, right here.
909
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:42,652
You know, I can't make up my mind.
910
00:48:42,728 --> 00:48:47,062
Will I continue my night club career
or bust in on the Helen Hayes racket?
911
00:48:47,132 --> 00:48:48,895
Say, this ought to be signed
before a notary public.
912
00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:51,664
I'm a notary public,
permission expires 1943.
913
00:48:51,737 --> 00:48:53,466
Were those pajamas a good investment.
914
00:48:53,539 --> 00:48:55,564
You'll get the final dope
by tomorrow morning.
915
00:48:55,641 --> 00:48:56,733
Joe will phone around 10:00.
916
00:48:56,809 --> 00:48:59,243
Now, meantime lie low
and stick close to the Ameche.
917
00:48:59,311 --> 00:49:01,609
- Okay, the what?
- The telephone.
918
00:49:06,085 --> 00:49:08,918
- Miss Sugarpuss.
- You'd better duck.
919
00:49:08,988 --> 00:49:11,081
- Okay, 10:00, I'll be waiting.
- Okay, okay.
920
00:49:11,156 --> 00:49:13,124
- Miss Sugarpuss.
- Here I am.
921
00:49:13,192 --> 00:49:15,092
Just getting a little air.
922
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,720
- Miss O'Shea.
- What's buzzing, cousin?
923
00:49:17,796 --> 00:49:20,196
Professor Potts would...
924
00:49:20,265 --> 00:49:23,132
He wishes to speak to you.
925
00:49:23,502 --> 00:49:24,764
- Yes.
- Yes.
926
00:49:24,837 --> 00:49:27,067
Don't worry, kids, cheer up.
927
00:49:28,607 --> 00:49:30,837
- Shut the door, please.
- Sure.
928
00:49:34,913 --> 00:49:38,371
- Take this chair, please, Miss O'Shea.
- This particular one?
929
00:49:38,450 --> 00:49:39,576
Okay.
930
00:49:42,721 --> 00:49:44,689
Open your mouth, please.
931
00:49:44,757 --> 00:49:47,225
Open your mouth. Wider.
932
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:49,384
Thank you.
933
00:49:49,461 --> 00:49:51,019
- Can I close it now?
- Please do.
934
00:49:51,096 --> 00:49:52,393
- Okay.
- Miss O'Shea.
935
00:49:52,464 --> 00:49:53,488
Yeah?
936
00:49:53,565 --> 00:49:56,932
Circumstances, under, over which
neither of us has the least control,
937
00:49:57,002 --> 00:50:00,062
force me to a step
I am most reluctant to take.
938
00:50:01,373 --> 00:50:04,365
The sky is perfectly clear.
The thermometer stands at 76.
939
00:50:04,443 --> 00:50:07,537
Your throat seems quite normal.
I must ask you to leave.
940
00:50:07,613 --> 00:50:09,672
Leave here? Why?
941
00:50:09,748 --> 00:50:12,581
Miss O'Shea,
I want you to look at our project,
942
00:50:12,651 --> 00:50:15,814
I mean the encyclopedia, as a voyage,
943
00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:18,356
a long, hard, tedious one.
944
00:50:18,424 --> 00:50:20,483
A voyage from "A" to "Z."
945
00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:22,424
Now, when the Foundation
launched our vessel,
946
00:50:22,494 --> 00:50:26,954
it very wisely followed an old rule
of the sea, no women aboard.
947
00:50:27,032 --> 00:50:29,899
It chose a crew of single men
with nothing to distract them
948
00:50:29,968 --> 00:50:31,560
from the course they were to sail.
949
00:50:31,637 --> 00:50:34,834
Say, junior, couldn't stop
walking around a little, could you?
950
00:50:34,907 --> 00:50:38,035
For four days, we have been drifting,
Miss O'Shea.
951
00:50:38,110 --> 00:50:40,442
The needle of the compass
no longer points to the magnetic pole.
952
00:50:40,512 --> 00:50:43,140
It points, if I may say so, to your ankles.
953
00:50:43,215 --> 00:50:45,513
Come now, Admiral,
a bunch of grown men,
954
00:50:45,584 --> 00:50:47,575
they've seen a pair of ankles before.
955
00:50:47,653 --> 00:50:49,143
Not for nine years.
956
00:50:49,221 --> 00:50:53,214
Except for the singularly uninspiring
underpinnings of Miss Bragg.
957
00:50:53,292 --> 00:50:54,691
Now, my colleagues...
958
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:56,990
If you think I'm bothering them,
I'll sit on my legs.
959
00:50:57,062 --> 00:50:59,462
- And I'll do it in my room or in the kitchen.
- Too late.
960
00:50:59,531 --> 00:51:02,762
- You must leave, Miss O'Shea.
- Well, I can't leave now.
961
00:51:02,835 --> 00:51:05,326
How about that slang?
It's not finished yet.
962
00:51:05,404 --> 00:51:07,304
There's a lot of words
we haven't caught up with.
963
00:51:07,372 --> 00:51:10,205
For instance, do you know what this
means, "I'll get you on the Ameche"?
964
00:51:10,275 --> 00:51:11,503
- No.
- Of course, you don't.
965
00:51:11,577 --> 00:51:12,942
An Ameche is the telephone.
966
00:51:13,011 --> 00:51:14,842
- On account of he invented it.
- Oh, no, he didn't.
967
00:51:14,913 --> 00:51:19,543
- You know, in the movies.
- I see what you mean. Very interesting.
968
00:51:19,685 --> 00:51:23,348
Make no mistake, I shall regret
the absence of your keen mind.
969
00:51:23,422 --> 00:51:27,483
Unfortunately, it is inseparable
from an extremely disturbing body.
970
00:51:28,861 --> 00:51:31,159
All right. I'll go, only don't shove.
971
00:51:31,230 --> 00:51:33,926
- I'll leave sometime tomorrow.
- Not tomorrow. Right away.
972
00:51:33,999 --> 00:51:36,126
- But I tell you I've got a...
- I insist, Miss O'Shea.
973
00:51:36,201 --> 00:51:37,634
Oh, Crabapple Annie.
974
00:51:37,703 --> 00:51:39,364
- Listen, Pottsy...
- Crabapple Annie?
975
00:51:39,438 --> 00:51:41,599
Why, that implies
that I'm puritanical and narrow-minded.
976
00:51:41,673 --> 00:51:42,697
Yeah.
977
00:51:42,775 --> 00:51:45,471
I am a perfectly normal man
with perfectly normal instincts.
978
00:51:45,544 --> 00:51:48,012
- But an awful high boiling point.
- Not even that.
979
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,878
I, too, have been acutely aware
of your presence.
980
00:51:50,949 --> 00:51:52,746
- You have?
- Twice, to be exact.
981
00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:54,149
Once when you leaned over my shoulder
982
00:51:54,219 --> 00:51:56,153
to correct my spelling of
the word "boogie-woogie,"
983
00:51:56,221 --> 00:51:57,950
I could feel your breath on my ear.
984
00:51:58,023 --> 00:52:00,457
And yesterday afternoon when you
happened to stand against the window
985
00:52:00,526 --> 00:52:02,824
with the sunlight in your hair.
986
00:52:04,563 --> 00:52:07,726
- What'd you do about it?
- I left the room,
987
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:09,392
dipped my handkerchief in cold water
988
00:52:09,468 --> 00:52:11,368
and applied it to the back of
my neck right there,
989
00:52:11,436 --> 00:52:14,496
- where the nerve center is.
- That's cute.
990
00:52:14,573 --> 00:52:17,633
You see, that's the basic difference
between me and the other professors.
991
00:52:17,709 --> 00:52:20,439
We are all beguiled,
but I am relatively young.
992
00:52:20,512 --> 00:52:21,809
I can suppress temptation.
993
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:25,441
I generate enough energy
to take precautionary measures.
994
00:52:26,652 --> 00:52:30,110
A little sun on my hair
and you had to water your neck.
995
00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:34,625
Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it,
Miss O'Shea,
996
00:52:34,693 --> 00:52:36,558
but I'm merely trying to point out the fact
997
00:52:36,628 --> 00:52:39,461
that the success of our enterprise
is at stake.
998
00:52:39,531 --> 00:52:41,590
I want you to...
999
00:52:45,437 --> 00:52:46,961
Cooperate.
1000
00:52:47,039 --> 00:52:48,802
I want you to leave.
1001
00:52:49,908 --> 00:52:51,705
All right, I'll go.
1002
00:52:52,611 --> 00:52:55,842
But if I'm going to go anyway,
I guess I might as well spill it.
1003
00:52:55,914 --> 00:52:58,178
Spill it? Spill what?
1004
00:52:58,250 --> 00:53:00,013
Why do you suppose
I came here in the first place?
1005
00:53:00,085 --> 00:53:01,143
To help with the research.
1006
00:53:01,220 --> 00:53:03,211
- I did not. I came on account of you.
- Me?
1007
00:53:03,288 --> 00:53:05,222
And not on account of
you needed some slang.
1008
00:53:05,290 --> 00:53:06,985
On account of
because I wanted to see you again.
1009
00:53:07,059 --> 00:53:09,653
Miss O'Shea, the construction
"on account of because"
1010
00:53:09,728 --> 00:53:11,423
outrages every grammatical law.
1011
00:53:11,496 --> 00:53:14,294
So what? I came on account of
because I couldn't stop thinking about you
1012
00:53:14,366 --> 00:53:16,129
after you left my dressing room.
1013
00:53:16,201 --> 00:53:20,763
On account of because I thought
you were big and cute and pretty.
1014
00:53:20,839 --> 00:53:22,170
- Pretty?
- Yeah, I mean you.
1015
00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:25,608
Maybe I'm just crazy, but to me,
you're a regular yum-yum type.
1016
00:53:25,677 --> 00:53:27,668
- Yum-yum?
- Yeah, don't you know what that means?
1017
00:53:27,746 --> 00:53:28,804
No, we never got to that.
1018
00:53:28,881 --> 00:53:30,576
Well, we've got to it now,
and I'm glad it's out.
1019
00:53:30,649 --> 00:53:32,378
I don't give a whoop
whether the others went for me.
1020
00:53:32,451 --> 00:53:34,316
You're the one I'm wacky about,
just plain wacky.
1021
00:53:34,386 --> 00:53:36,149
- Can you understand that?
- Please, Miss O'Shea.
1022
00:53:36,221 --> 00:53:38,382
Oh, please, nothing.
Maybe you can generate or whatever it is
1023
00:53:38,457 --> 00:53:40,721
for all that suppress business, but...
1024
00:53:40,792 --> 00:53:43,090
I can't. No, you're too tall.
1025
00:53:45,831 --> 00:53:47,093
- What are you doing?
- You'll find out.
1026
00:53:47,165 --> 00:53:48,757
Those are Professor Gurkakoff's
reference books.
1027
00:53:48,834 --> 00:53:50,893
- Now, isn't that just too bad!
- And they're very...
1028
00:53:50,969 --> 00:53:52,561
- That's perfect.
- What are you going to do?
1029
00:53:52,638 --> 00:53:55,402
Come here,
I'm going to show you what yum-yum is.
1030
00:53:55,474 --> 00:53:56,839
Here's yum.
1031
00:53:58,377 --> 00:54:00,208
Here's the other yum.
1032
00:54:02,214 --> 00:54:03,977
And here's yum-yum.
1033
00:54:07,853 --> 00:54:09,184
Excuse me.
1034
00:54:09,922 --> 00:54:10,946
Hey, where are you going?
1035
00:54:22,434 --> 00:54:25,494
Did you see?
He practically stepped on my hand.
1036
00:54:25,570 --> 00:54:27,401
- Three steps at a time.
- Shot out of a gun.
1037
00:54:27,472 --> 00:54:29,133
- But where is he going?
- Why?
1038
00:54:29,207 --> 00:54:32,904
To get a razor strop, I hope,
and I hope he knows where to apply it.
1039
00:54:37,849 --> 00:54:41,751
- Well, Professor Potts?
- Yes, Miss Bragg.
1040
00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:45,119
Will one of you call a taxi
from the corner for Miss O'Shea?
1041
00:54:45,791 --> 00:54:47,782
- Right away.
- Thank you.
1042
00:54:53,699 --> 00:54:56,065
- Fine business.
- I beg your pardon?
1043
00:54:56,134 --> 00:54:57,761
What's the idea of
running out on me like that?
1044
00:54:57,836 --> 00:54:59,929
Nothing, nothing.
1045
00:55:00,505 --> 00:55:03,565
The last few minutes
only confirmed my former decision.
1046
00:55:03,642 --> 00:55:05,633
Your further presence here would be fatal.
1047
00:55:05,711 --> 00:55:09,272
You must get me out of your mind
just as I must get you out of this house.
1048
00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:12,715
- Your hair's wet.
- Well, never mind, please.
1049
00:55:12,784 --> 00:55:15,275
- Well, it is wet.
- Well, what of it?
1050
00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,582
Nothing, I just happened to mention it.
1051
00:55:16,655 --> 00:55:19,249
- Well, forget it, please.
- Okay, okay.
1052
00:55:19,958 --> 00:55:22,984
Now to get back to the subject
under discussion.
1053
00:55:23,061 --> 00:55:26,428
It would be idle of me to deny that I, too,
feel the affinity
1054
00:55:26,498 --> 00:55:29,865
that you mentioned a few minutes ago,
very strongly.
1055
00:55:29,935 --> 00:55:31,800
After three years,
when my work is finished,
1056
00:55:31,870 --> 00:55:34,668
perhaps we can take up where we left off.
1057
00:55:34,740 --> 00:55:39,677
In the meantime, I hope we can keep up
some sort of correspondence.
1058
00:55:40,912 --> 00:55:45,008
- Would you, Miss Sugarpuss?
- Oh, Pottsy.
1059
00:55:46,318 --> 00:55:49,583
I know that's the way I feel, too,
but it has to be.
1060
00:55:51,123 --> 00:55:55,457
Sugarpuss, before you go, would you...
1061
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:03,667
Would you
1062
00:56:05,203 --> 00:56:07,103
yum me just once more?
1063
00:56:14,479 --> 00:56:17,175
- It seems so unnecessary.
- Yes.
1064
00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:18,876
- Yes.
- The taxi's here.
1065
00:56:18,984 --> 00:56:20,474
I'll tell him.
1066
00:56:25,857 --> 00:56:29,349
Professor Potts,
the taxi for that young woman is here.
1067
00:56:31,463 --> 00:56:32,760
The taxi.
1068
00:56:34,300 --> 00:56:36,530
- Yes, what is it?
- The taxi's here.
1069
00:56:36,602 --> 00:56:37,967
Taxi? What taxi?
1070
00:56:38,838 --> 00:56:40,738
Miss O'Shea's or mine.
1071
00:56:42,542 --> 00:56:44,908
It's all yours, Crabapple Annie.
1072
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:10,364
What is the delay, young man?
Delivery was promised for 10:00.
1073
00:57:10,436 --> 00:57:11,801
Sign here.
1074
00:57:12,338 --> 00:57:15,205
- I trust that it's engraved correctly.
- I guess so.
1075
00:57:15,274 --> 00:57:17,538
- $39.85, wasn't it?
- Yeah.
1076
00:57:17,610 --> 00:57:20,374
Here's $40. Keep the change.
1077
00:57:25,418 --> 00:57:27,818
- You're sure the setting is solid gold?
- Why, of course.
1078
00:57:27,887 --> 00:57:30,151
There was one $5 cheaper,
but not nearly so handsome.
1079
00:57:30,223 --> 00:57:31,713
- Let's see it, Potts.
- Yes, please.
1080
00:57:31,791 --> 00:57:33,918
No, no, it's wrapped so neatly, I hate to.
1081
00:57:33,993 --> 00:57:36,359
- I'll take it, Miss Bragg.
- Room service.
1082
00:57:36,429 --> 00:57:40,365
- Now we've got room service.
- I thought she might like this.
1083
00:57:40,433 --> 00:57:42,367
- Thank you.
- It's nothing, really.
1084
00:57:42,435 --> 00:57:43,834
Be careful.
1085
00:57:46,672 --> 00:57:49,470
If I were the cream
for that woman's coffee, I'd curdle.
1086
00:57:49,542 --> 00:57:52,443
I thought you meant to leave us
in protest, Miss Bragg.
1087
00:57:52,512 --> 00:57:53,638
- Yes.
- Yes.
1088
00:57:53,713 --> 00:57:57,672
A nurse does not quit her post
when an epidemic reaches a crisis.
1089
00:58:08,192 --> 00:58:09,454
Come in.
1090
00:58:13,598 --> 00:58:16,965
- Morning, Pottsy.
- Good morning. I brought your breakfast.
1091
00:58:17,034 --> 00:58:20,834
Good, I'll have it right here
in the snooze stand, thank you.
1092
00:58:21,639 --> 00:58:24,130
- How do you take it?
- Just jav, no cow.
1093
00:58:24,208 --> 00:58:25,903
- Just what?
- Black.
1094
00:58:26,744 --> 00:58:28,439
- Sugar?
- Straight.
1095
00:58:29,647 --> 00:58:31,410
- Toast?
- No, thanks.
1096
00:58:32,350 --> 00:58:34,875
- You sure you don't want some toast?
- Uh-uh.
1097
00:58:34,952 --> 00:58:37,477
Well, here's some jam to go with it.
It's blackberry.
1098
00:58:37,555 --> 00:58:39,819
- Never use it.
- Not just one bite?
1099
00:58:39,891 --> 00:58:41,017
Mmm-mmm.
1100
00:58:41,759 --> 00:58:43,351
Sit down and take a load off your feet.
1101
00:58:43,427 --> 00:58:45,827
Say, I found out what's wrong with
"on account of because."
1102
00:58:45,897 --> 00:58:46,921
It's saying the same thing twice,
1103
00:58:46,998 --> 00:58:49,262
you know, like calling somebody
a rich millionaire.
1104
00:58:49,333 --> 00:58:53,360
You call it a pleo...
No, wait a minute, a plea...
1105
00:58:53,437 --> 00:58:55,997
- A pleonasm?
- Yes, that how you pronounce it? That's it.
1106
00:58:56,073 --> 00:58:58,007
- Who told you that?
- This room's full of books about grammar.
1107
00:58:58,075 --> 00:58:59,736
I read for a couple of hours.
1108
00:58:59,810 --> 00:59:00,868
I couldn't sleep, either.
1109
00:59:00,945 --> 00:59:03,914
I walked in the park till the sun
came up over the East Sixties.
1110
00:59:03,981 --> 00:59:05,778
It took me all that time
to gather my thoughts,
1111
00:59:05,850 --> 00:59:09,308
to analyze my impulses
and clarify our relationship.
1112
00:59:09,387 --> 00:59:10,513
Have we got one of those?
1113
00:59:10,588 --> 00:59:13,352
It's a very important moment,
a new chapter.
1114
00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:15,415
In fact, for me, it's the first chapter.
1115
00:59:15,493 --> 00:59:19,930
For what has my life been up till now?
A preface. An empty foreword.
1116
00:59:19,997 --> 00:59:22,124
You couldn't talk a little plainer,
could you?
1117
00:59:22,199 --> 00:59:24,258
Not if you won't have a piece of toast.
1118
00:59:24,335 --> 00:59:27,270
At least just... At least look under the lid.
1119
00:59:31,342 --> 00:59:34,573
- You went and bought me a present.
- I hope it fits.
1120
00:59:34,645 --> 00:59:38,081
Gurkakoff calculated the circumference
of your finger.
1121
00:59:47,658 --> 00:59:50,559
I woke up the jeweler at 7:00 this morning.
1122
00:59:52,096 --> 00:59:56,157
- It's a lovely ring, Pottsy, really it is.
- I hoped you'd like it.
1123
00:59:57,368 --> 01:00:00,667
It's our... It's our engagement ring.
1124
01:00:01,772 --> 01:00:06,300
- Pottsy, do you mean you...
- Yes, I did, I...
1125
01:00:07,211 --> 01:00:09,111
You mean you really...
1126
01:00:12,950 --> 01:00:14,076
Well?
1127
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,180
- What am I supposed to say?
- Just say yes.
1128
01:00:20,057 --> 01:00:24,426
After you've declared your feelings,
it's the only logical step to take.
1129
01:00:25,596 --> 01:00:29,760
Don't you think you'd better take
another turn around the park, Pottsy?
1130
01:00:30,201 --> 01:00:31,964
I'm just as surprised as you.
1131
01:00:32,036 --> 01:00:34,800
Marriage? I thought
I was married to my books.
1132
01:00:34,872 --> 01:00:36,931
The only thing
I thought I could care for deeply
1133
01:00:37,008 --> 01:00:39,476
was a correctly constructed sentence.
1134
01:00:39,543 --> 01:00:45,209
The subject, predicate, adverbial clause,
each in its proper place, and then you...
1135
01:00:45,282 --> 01:00:48,683
You see, I've had rather a curious life.
1136
01:00:48,753 --> 01:00:51,347
I graduated from Princeton when I was 13.
1137
01:00:51,422 --> 01:00:54,949
I recited Tyger, Tyger Burning Bright
when I was a year old.
1138
01:00:55,026 --> 01:00:57,824
Before I was two, I could read fluently.
1139
01:00:58,729 --> 01:01:01,755
People like that just, well...
1140
01:01:02,933 --> 01:01:06,425
You see, dust just piles up on their hearts.
1141
01:01:06,504 --> 01:01:08,904
And it took you to blow it away.
1142
01:01:10,441 --> 01:01:12,068
Yeah, but I...
1143
01:01:12,710 --> 01:01:15,804
I didn't mean
to blow it smack into your eyes.
1144
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:19,748
Well, that's what happened, look.
Look inside the ring.
1145
01:01:22,153 --> 01:01:24,178
Oh, yeah, there's writing.
1146
01:01:25,022 --> 01:01:28,480
- "Richard III." Who's Richard III?
- Richard III.
1147
01:01:28,559 --> 01:01:31,790
Act 1, Scene 2, line 204.
1148
01:01:32,630 --> 01:01:35,827
- There wasn't room for all the words.
- What words?
1149
01:01:35,900 --> 01:01:39,199
Well, they go like this, quote,
1150
01:01:39,270 --> 01:01:42,398
"Look, how this ring
encompasseth thy finger.
1151
01:01:42,473 --> 01:01:45,965
"Even so thy breast
encloseth my poor heart.
1152
01:01:46,043 --> 01:01:49,206
"Wear both of them,
for both of them are thine."
1153
01:01:51,782 --> 01:01:53,545
Unquote, I suppose.
1154
01:01:55,386 --> 01:01:58,514
I hope you don't think it's too corny.
1155
01:02:02,059 --> 01:02:05,153
- Pottsy, I...
- Come in.
1156
01:02:07,231 --> 01:02:09,358
- There is a telephone call for you.
- For me?
1157
01:02:09,433 --> 01:02:12,891
We didn't want to interrupt, but the man
on the wire said it was from your daddy.
1158
01:02:12,970 --> 01:02:15,097
- Daddy?
- That's what he said.
1159
01:02:15,206 --> 01:02:16,195
Oh.
1160
01:02:16,841 --> 01:02:20,242
- Oh, yes, Daddy!
- It's long distance.
1161
01:02:20,311 --> 01:02:22,006
Yeah, I'll get it.
1162
01:02:22,913 --> 01:02:25,711
- How did it go, Potts?
- She seemed quite overwhelmed.
1163
01:02:25,783 --> 01:02:26,977
That was to be expected.
1164
01:02:27,051 --> 01:02:30,077
You see, excuse me,
you see, the customary procedure
1165
01:02:30,154 --> 01:02:32,622
is to approach
the parents of the young lady first.
1166
01:02:32,690 --> 01:02:34,885
- Yes.
- Yes, I realize that.
1167
01:02:37,328 --> 01:02:40,161
- Hello?
- Hello, hello, it's Asthma, Sugie.
1168
01:02:40,231 --> 01:02:41,357
The boss wants to talk to you,
1169
01:02:41,432 --> 01:02:43,992
only we're relaying the call
so it won't be traced, dig me?
1170
01:02:44,068 --> 01:02:45,899
Here she is, boss. Ready?
1171
01:02:45,970 --> 01:02:48,666
Okay, Sugie, don't use no names, though.
1172
01:02:57,114 --> 01:02:59,981
Oh, boy, did you call at the right minute.
Where are you?
1173
01:03:00,050 --> 01:03:03,611
Some whistle snort in New Jersey.
Rancocas, it's called.
1174
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:07,420
Well, how you been, Sugie? I hear
you're hiding out with the seven dwarfs.
1175
01:03:07,491 --> 01:03:10,619
Eight. And it's kind of indicated
I'd better get out of here quick.
1176
01:03:10,694 --> 01:03:14,755
Oh, no, nothing like that, it's just that one
of the professors got off the beam a little.
1177
01:03:14,832 --> 01:03:17,357
Yeah, a slight case of Andy Hardy.
1178
01:03:17,434 --> 01:03:21,837
Why don't you just take his umbrella
and whack him over the knuckles?
1179
01:03:21,906 --> 01:03:25,069
Well, everything's all set, babe.
The license comes through this afternoon.
1180
01:03:25,142 --> 01:03:27,975
I got a justice of the peace all lined up.
1181
01:03:28,445 --> 01:03:31,642
Yeah, that's what we're trying
to figure out, how to get you here.
1182
01:03:31,715 --> 01:03:34,843
No, I don't want you to take a train.
They'd spot you like a lead dime.
1183
01:03:34,919 --> 01:03:37,888
They'll be watching everything,
Holland Tunnel, Washington Bridge.
1184
01:03:37,955 --> 01:03:39,786
I don't even trust the highways.
1185
01:03:39,857 --> 01:03:42,052
I don't care
if I have to hook a ride on a hearse.
1186
01:03:42,126 --> 01:03:44,526
I want to get out of here.
I don't like it. I want to blow.
1187
01:03:47,464 --> 01:03:50,331
Well, what other news is there, Daddy?
1188
01:03:50,401 --> 01:03:53,893
Everything fine at home? Is Mom all right?
1189
01:03:57,775 --> 01:04:02,439
For Easter? Well, I don't know, Daddy.
1190
01:04:02,913 --> 01:04:06,178
Just a minute.
I won't be long, just wait in the library.
1191
01:04:06,250 --> 01:04:09,117
Do you mind if I have a few words
with your father?
1192
01:04:10,254 --> 01:04:11,414
Sure.
1193
01:04:13,490 --> 01:04:17,290
Daddy, this is the professor
I was telling you about.
1194
01:04:21,298 --> 01:04:24,893
Mr. O'Shea? My name is Bertram Potts.
1195
01:04:25,769 --> 01:04:30,604
I judge your daughter has already
told you of my aspirations in her regard.
1196
01:04:31,709 --> 01:04:33,233
Hey, are you crazy?
1197
01:04:34,044 --> 01:04:37,036
You're quite right, Mr. O'Shea.
1198
01:04:37,114 --> 01:04:38,843
It's inexcusable for one
to introduce oneself
1199
01:04:38,916 --> 01:04:42,147
to one's future father-in-law
over the telephone.
1200
01:04:43,020 --> 01:04:45,147
But before even considering
1201
01:04:45,222 --> 01:04:47,122
entrusting your daughter's
future happiness to my care,
1202
01:04:47,191 --> 01:04:49,921
I'm sure you want to know all about me.
1203
01:04:51,795 --> 01:04:53,387
Well, as character references,
1204
01:04:53,464 --> 01:04:56,331
you might get in touch with the head
of the Rockefeller Foundation,
1205
01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:59,233
and the President of Princeton,
my own university.
1206
01:05:01,205 --> 01:05:03,696
Well, except for occasional trouble
with my left sinus,
1207
01:05:03,774 --> 01:05:06,368
I am in excellent physical condition.
1208
01:05:07,044 --> 01:05:10,343
- How's your digestion, son?
- Good.
1209
01:05:11,181 --> 01:05:14,150
I draw a salary of $3,200 per year.
1210
01:05:15,152 --> 01:05:18,519
In the last election,
I voted the straight Republican ticket.
1211
01:05:18,689 --> 01:05:20,782
That's fine, that's fine.
1212
01:05:22,393 --> 01:05:24,861
I just had a brain flash, McNeary.
1213
01:05:25,729 --> 01:05:28,926
What did you say your first name is, son?
Bertram.
1214
01:05:29,833 --> 01:05:32,131
Well, Bertram,
I don't know if Sugarpuss told you,
1215
01:05:32,202 --> 01:05:34,466
but she's our only child.
1216
01:05:34,538 --> 01:05:37,769
We kind of never figured
on having a professor in the family,
1217
01:05:37,841 --> 01:05:40,742
but if that's what she wants,
then that's fine with us.
1218
01:05:40,811 --> 01:05:43,939
Well, I shall do everything I can,
Mr. O'Shea, to make her happy.
1219
01:05:44,014 --> 01:05:46,312
Just one thing more, Bertram.
1220
01:05:46,383 --> 01:05:50,683
Mom is kind of an invalid,
doesn't do any traveling.
1221
01:05:50,754 --> 01:05:53,552
But it would just break her heart
not to see Sugarpuss married.
1222
01:05:53,624 --> 01:05:56,218
- You understand that?
- Of course, sir.
1223
01:05:56,293 --> 01:05:59,490
My mother's dead,
but I know it would have...
1224
01:06:00,364 --> 01:06:03,197
It would have made her happy
to be present.
1225
01:06:03,667 --> 01:06:06,693
So, suppose you just bring the kid
right down here.
1226
01:06:06,770 --> 01:06:10,866
We want to see you and
let's have the ceremony in our hometown.
1227
01:06:11,542 --> 01:06:13,635
Why, of course, Mr. O'Shea.
1228
01:06:14,411 --> 01:06:16,902
May I call you Father, Mr. O'Shea?
1229
01:06:17,915 --> 01:06:19,815
Thank you, Father.
1230
01:06:21,051 --> 01:06:25,078
It was better than I hoped for.
Your father wants to talk to you.
1231
01:06:29,093 --> 01:06:31,561
Well, Sugie,
this solves your transportation.
1232
01:06:31,628 --> 01:06:33,391
That Jack was made-to-order.
1233
01:06:33,464 --> 01:06:37,366
Who's gonna stop the Rockefeller
Foundation and Princeton University?
1234
01:06:37,434 --> 01:06:40,335
And suppose you get a couple of the other
old beavers to come along in the car.
1235
01:06:40,404 --> 01:06:42,804
Maybe there's some other way.
1236
01:06:42,873 --> 01:06:45,103
I don't want to take them
for that kind of a ride.
1237
01:06:45,175 --> 01:06:47,575
That's quite all right.
I'll take a couple of days off.
1238
01:06:47,644 --> 01:06:50,272
- Yes, we all will.
- That's a good idea.
1239
01:06:50,681 --> 01:06:53,946
Now cut out the menkenkes, Sugie.
This gets you to Rancocas.
1240
01:06:54,017 --> 01:06:56,417
Once you're here, we'll give the professor
the boot, easy like,
1241
01:06:56,487 --> 01:06:58,546
where it won't blind him.
1242
01:06:58,622 --> 01:07:01,557
I don't want any discussions.
Just one thing.
1243
01:07:02,159 --> 01:07:06,289
Watch out for the Washington Bridge.
That'll be swarming with cops.
1244
01:07:07,331 --> 01:07:09,697
Hello? Hello?
1245
01:07:12,770 --> 01:07:16,501
- What's the matter, my dear?
- He's always in such a rush.
1246
01:07:16,573 --> 01:07:19,235
Which is my great good fortune,
the sooner the better.
1247
01:07:19,309 --> 01:07:22,107
Gentlemen, I now have the honor
to announce our betrothal.
1248
01:07:22,179 --> 01:07:23,510
Congratulations.
1249
01:07:23,580 --> 01:07:27,346
Very sensibly condensed,
as in the Reader's Digest.
1250
01:07:29,520 --> 01:07:32,648
- Please don't cry, I'm very happy.
- Can't help it.
1251
01:07:32,723 --> 01:07:36,124
Look, why don't you go upstairs and
pack my fianc�e's things for her? Please.
1252
01:07:36,193 --> 01:07:39,094
- I want to be an usher.
- We'll all be ushers.
1253
01:07:39,763 --> 01:07:41,993
One kisses the bride. May I?
1254
01:07:42,065 --> 01:07:44,590
- We'll all kiss the bride.
- Yes, of course.
1255
01:07:44,668 --> 01:07:47,660
- May we?
- Go ahead.
1256
01:07:51,675 --> 01:07:53,905
We are very happy.
1257
01:07:53,977 --> 01:07:57,140
We feel that you are marrying
all of us, a little.
1258
01:07:57,214 --> 01:07:58,909
Yes, yes, indeed.
1259
01:08:05,088 --> 01:08:07,716
We wish you every happiness, my dear.
1260
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:11,491
All of us.
1261
01:08:14,898 --> 01:08:18,959
If we're gonna get started
this afternoon, I'd better be going.
1262
01:08:27,144 --> 01:08:28,236
Well.
1263
01:08:32,082 --> 01:08:35,449
- Kind of a cheesy picture of me, isn't it?
- Recognizable, thank heaven.
1264
01:08:35,519 --> 01:08:36,645
- Wait a minute.
- Get your things together
1265
01:08:36,720 --> 01:08:38,278
and get down the back stairs
before I call the police.
1266
01:08:38,355 --> 01:08:39,447
I've got something to say.
1267
01:08:39,523 --> 01:08:42,151
A gangster's moll thinking
she'd marry one of my professors.
1268
01:08:42,226 --> 01:08:44,057
Don't worry,
I'm not marrying any professor.
1269
01:08:44,127 --> 01:08:46,823
- Certainly not.
- I'm mink coat. I'm no bungalow apron.
1270
01:08:46,897 --> 01:08:48,330
That's the guy I'm getting.
1271
01:08:48,398 --> 01:08:50,559
Pretty good getting for a gal
that came up the hard way.
1272
01:08:50,634 --> 01:08:53,125
We'll have this room fumigated
when you're out of it.
1273
01:08:53,203 --> 01:08:54,431
- Well, you ought to, I guess.
- Let me past.
1274
01:08:54,505 --> 01:08:57,065
No, no, no, any spilling that's to be done,
I'll do, but not yet.
1275
01:08:57,140 --> 01:08:59,700
- Not while it would bug up everything.
- If you think I'll hold my tongue...
1276
01:08:59,776 --> 01:09:02,074
Why don't you look at it this way, Braggo?
The harm's been done.
1277
01:09:02,145 --> 01:09:05,171
Pottsy's gonna wear his heart in a sling
whether he finds out sooner or later.
1278
01:09:05,249 --> 01:09:08,116
Here or in New Jersey
won't make any difference to him.
1279
01:09:08,185 --> 01:09:10,745
Only, in New Jersey's
a darned sight better for me.
1280
01:09:10,821 --> 01:09:11,947
Better for you, indeed.
1281
01:09:12,022 --> 01:09:13,148
- No, no, no.
- Why, you, you...
1282
01:09:13,223 --> 01:09:15,691
- Open that door or I'll scream.
- No, I can't have you screaming, not now.
1283
01:09:15,759 --> 01:09:18,284
- A piercing scream...
- Sorry, Braggo.
1284
01:09:39,116 --> 01:09:40,708
- What did you say?
- What?
1285
01:09:40,784 --> 01:09:43,582
I was just running
through the marriage service.
1286
01:09:43,654 --> 01:09:44,951
"To be my lawful wedded wife.
1287
01:09:45,022 --> 01:09:47,047
"For better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer."
1288
01:09:47,124 --> 01:09:48,853
- Please, Pottsy.
- What?
1289
01:09:48,926 --> 01:09:50,393
Don't, please.
1290
01:09:52,195 --> 01:09:54,561
You're very nervous aren't you, darling?
1291
01:09:54,631 --> 01:09:56,292
It's been a very exciting day.
1292
01:09:56,366 --> 01:09:59,631
It's just this business of going to Jersey.
I mean, back home.
1293
01:09:59,703 --> 01:10:02,900
Every time I get to this old bridge,
I get worried for fear I might get stuck
1294
01:10:02,973 --> 01:10:04,770
and not be able to get back over again.
1295
01:10:04,841 --> 01:10:07,674
We'll bring you back, don't you be afraid.
1296
01:10:14,251 --> 01:10:15,775
Okay, go ahead.
1297
01:10:23,627 --> 01:10:26,152
- Hey.
- Sorry, sorry.
1298
01:10:26,229 --> 01:10:28,629
You trying to play piggy-back?
1299
01:10:28,699 --> 01:10:30,257
Listen to that.
1300
01:10:30,334 --> 01:10:33,201
- I don't see any reason for sarcasm.
- Neither do I.
1301
01:10:37,975 --> 01:10:39,943
Something wrong with your brakes,
sonny?
1302
01:10:40,010 --> 01:10:43,878
I couldn't locate it for a moment.
This is a rented car.
1303
01:10:43,947 --> 01:10:46,643
- Got a driver's license?
- I have, indeed.
1304
01:10:53,590 --> 01:10:57,856
"1903."
This should have been renewed 20 times.
1305
01:10:57,928 --> 01:11:00,055
- This is as far as you drive, brother.
- No, no.
1306
01:11:00,130 --> 01:11:02,997
But, Officer, this is a wedding party.
1307
01:11:04,134 --> 01:11:05,601
A wedding party?
1308
01:11:05,669 --> 01:11:07,830
- Are you the bridegroom?
- No, I am.
1309
01:11:07,904 --> 01:11:10,099
- Is this the bride?
- Yes.
1310
01:11:10,173 --> 01:11:11,572
- Pardon me.
- Officer, please.
1311
01:11:11,642 --> 01:11:12,631
What is it?
1312
01:11:12,709 --> 01:11:15,940
It's good luck to touch a bride,
and I got a promotion coming up.
1313
01:11:16,013 --> 01:11:19,540
Well, could you reciprocate
by letting us proceed?
1314
01:11:19,616 --> 01:11:21,106
- Yes, we'll drive very carefully.
- Yes.
1315
01:11:21,184 --> 01:11:23,914
Postponing a wedding
is bad luck, you know, Officer.
1316
01:11:23,987 --> 01:11:25,921
That's right.
Well, what are you waiting for?
1317
01:11:25,989 --> 01:11:27,581
- Get going.
- Okay.
1318
01:11:27,658 --> 01:11:29,285
A very nice gentleman.
1319
01:11:32,796 --> 01:11:35,629
All that nonsense with my driving license.
1320
01:11:36,833 --> 01:11:40,166
With that license I once drove
President Theodore Roosevelt.
1321
01:11:40,237 --> 01:11:42,467
And he pronounced my driving bully.
1322
01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:46,040
- He said that...
- Look out! Look out!
1323
01:11:49,946 --> 01:11:51,709
Look out, look out!
1324
01:12:10,333 --> 01:12:12,096
Help! Help!
1325
01:12:13,670 --> 01:12:17,106
Police! Police! Help! Help!
1326
01:12:17,741 --> 01:12:19,834
How's that, operator? No answer.
1327
01:12:19,910 --> 01:12:21,537
- Jam it.
- Jam it.
1328
01:12:25,282 --> 01:12:26,271
Huh?
1329
01:12:26,983 --> 01:12:30,248
All right, I didn't mean to say it, I'm sorry.
1330
01:12:30,320 --> 01:12:32,515
Hey, wait a minute,
there's a car driving up now.
1331
01:12:35,525 --> 01:12:37,891
Listen, sister, I said I was sorry.
What do you want me to do?
1332
01:12:37,961 --> 01:12:40,259
Send you a bouquet of...
1333
01:12:40,330 --> 01:12:43,060
It's you, wait a minute.
Hey, it's Sugarpuss.
1334
01:12:45,368 --> 01:12:47,632
Sugie, say,
what the sweet Judas gives out?
1335
01:12:47,704 --> 01:12:48,693
Where are you?
1336
01:12:48,772 --> 01:12:52,606
We're not down here to enjoy ourselves.
This is a wedding.
1337
01:12:52,676 --> 01:12:55,474
A what? They had an accident.
1338
01:12:56,179 --> 01:13:01,173
Nothing serious.
No, it just shook the old boys up a little.
1339
01:13:01,852 --> 01:13:04,218
I couldn't get to a phone before.
1340
01:13:04,287 --> 01:13:06,517
I don't know,
some little hotel near Kingston.
1341
01:13:06,590 --> 01:13:08,888
Poplar Grove, it's called. Yeah.
1342
01:13:10,193 --> 01:13:12,684
Oh, sure, Joe,
there's a midnight bus. I can grab that.
1343
01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:14,230
Midnight bus, what are you talking about?
1344
01:13:14,297 --> 01:13:17,425
I'll have Asthma and Pastrami
pick you up in about 40 minutes.
1345
01:13:17,501 --> 01:13:18,593
Sure tonight.
1346
01:13:18,668 --> 01:13:20,829
I've got a justice of the peace on call.
1347
01:13:20,904 --> 01:13:22,667
There'll be a justice
of the peace tomorrow.
1348
01:13:22,739 --> 01:13:24,673
Now, why not do this thing right?
1349
01:13:24,741 --> 01:13:28,973
I want to wait until the old boys go to bed.
I can't walk out on them cold.
1350
01:13:29,045 --> 01:13:30,137
Maybe you'd like to sit down
1351
01:13:30,213 --> 01:13:32,545
and knit them eight little sweaters
to remember you by.
1352
01:13:32,616 --> 01:13:35,847
I've told you how it's going to be,
now stop barking orders.
1353
01:13:35,919 --> 01:13:37,147
So long.
1354
01:13:40,857 --> 01:13:42,552
Get the car ready.
1355
01:13:44,161 --> 01:13:46,755
I could prove to you
by the laws of relativity
1356
01:13:46,830 --> 01:13:50,061
that it was not I who ran into the signpost,
1357
01:13:50,133 --> 01:13:52,328
but that it was the signpost which ran...
1358
01:13:52,402 --> 01:13:54,802
That's all right, go ahead, sit down.
1359
01:13:55,739 --> 01:13:58,833
But that it was the signpost
which ran into me.
1360
01:14:00,243 --> 01:14:01,369
Let me explain.
1361
01:14:01,444 --> 01:14:05,505
If you do, by that same law,
your head will run into this bottle.
1362
01:14:06,349 --> 01:14:10,046
- Before you do that, I'd like a drink, please.
- By all means, excuse me.
1363
01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:11,883
No, I think I'll hit the hay, get some sleep.
1364
01:14:11,955 --> 01:14:13,786
- Why?
- The evening's young yet.
1365
01:14:13,857 --> 01:14:16,257
Oh, no, I don't belong here.
This is a bachelor dinner.
1366
01:14:16,326 --> 01:14:18,658
- But this one is different.
- No, that's the law.
1367
01:14:18,728 --> 01:14:21,162
We've heard from the garage.
The car will be ready in the morning.
1368
01:14:21,231 --> 01:14:23,165
Perhaps it will hold together
until Rancocas.
1369
01:14:23,233 --> 01:14:24,291
Then we'll be leaving early.
1370
01:14:24,367 --> 01:14:29,031
Yeah, after issuing an urgent appeal
to all signposts not to charge at us.
1371
01:14:29,239 --> 01:14:30,263
That's right.
1372
01:14:30,340 --> 01:14:31,466
What...
1373
01:14:31,541 --> 01:14:33,805
What time shall we waken you,
about 7:30?
1374
01:14:33,877 --> 01:14:35,902
I'll be awake all right.
1375
01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:39,782
Well, kids, here's to you.
1376
01:14:39,850 --> 01:14:42,546
- Here's to you.
- Here's to all of us.
1377
01:14:42,619 --> 01:14:43,745
Yes, to all of us.
1378
01:14:48,758 --> 01:14:50,191
Pottsy, I...
1379
01:14:52,395 --> 01:14:54,863
You know,
you boys still have time to warn him.
1380
01:14:54,931 --> 01:14:58,059
- A man is a goof to marry any woman.
- Just let them try to warn me.
1381
01:14:58,134 --> 01:15:01,763
He'll have to console us that
there aren't seven more just like you.
1382
01:15:01,838 --> 01:15:05,535
- Yeah, one for each of us.
- Of assorted ages, of course.
1383
01:15:05,609 --> 01:15:06,940
Naturally.
1384
01:15:07,510 --> 01:15:08,499
I...
1385
01:15:09,546 --> 01:15:10,535
Well, I...
1386
01:15:11,114 --> 01:15:14,049
I'd like to keep you all in a locket, always.
1387
01:15:14,651 --> 01:15:17,814
Eight squirrelly cherubs
right out of this world.
1388
01:15:19,623 --> 01:15:22,319
- Bye, kids.
- Good night.
1389
01:15:22,659 --> 01:15:23,785
Goodnight.
1390
01:15:23,860 --> 01:15:26,420
Did you hear, Potts?
I'm a squirrelly cherub.
1391
01:15:47,050 --> 01:15:50,281
No, no, no.
No, I insist, the happiest marriages
1392
01:15:50,353 --> 01:15:52,583
are those which produce three children
1393
01:15:52,656 --> 01:15:55,921
at intervals of not less than two
or more than three years.
1394
01:15:57,560 --> 01:15:59,892
Gentlemen, gentlemen. Please.
1395
01:16:00,630 --> 01:16:03,827
You are all speaking very glibly
about a subject
1396
01:16:03,900 --> 01:16:06,164
of which you know practically nothing.
1397
01:16:06,236 --> 01:16:08,431
No, I know what I'm saying.
1398
01:16:08,505 --> 01:16:13,499
If you feel the need of any guidance,
may I suggest that you turn to me.
1399
01:16:13,576 --> 01:16:15,441
That's right.
You were married, weren't you?
1400
01:16:15,512 --> 01:16:20,245
Oh, yes. Genevieve has been dead
for some 24 years but...
1401
01:16:20,317 --> 01:16:24,219
I have relived every moment
of our happiness so many times.
1402
01:16:24,287 --> 01:16:27,415
And my experience
is entirely at your disposal, Bertram.
1403
01:16:27,490 --> 01:16:28,718
Thank you, Oddly, but I really...
1404
01:16:28,792 --> 01:16:34,355
I judge I do not have to start
with basic principles.
1405
01:16:35,265 --> 01:16:36,994
Being...
1406
01:16:37,367 --> 01:16:40,803
Being a botanist,
I find an astonishing parallel
1407
01:16:40,870 --> 01:16:44,499
between a woman's heart
and the wind flower
1408
01:16:44,574 --> 01:16:46,838
or Anemone nemorosa.
1409
01:16:46,910 --> 01:16:50,846
Perhaps you know the plant,
how it waits for the warm sunshine
1410
01:16:50,914 --> 01:16:55,510
and soft winds before it unfolds its petals.
1411
01:16:56,586 --> 01:16:58,178
Sensitive and delicate.
1412
01:16:58,254 --> 01:17:02,657
One rough, impetuous bee
can completely destroy the bloom.
1413
01:17:02,792 --> 01:17:04,919
Come out of the garden, will you, Oddly?
1414
01:17:04,995 --> 01:17:06,257
- Jerome.
- Have a heart.
1415
01:17:06,329 --> 01:17:07,523
I'm much obliged to you, Oddly, but I...
1416
01:17:07,597 --> 01:17:11,795
Please, please, Bertram.
Think of me as an elder brother
1417
01:17:11,868 --> 01:17:16,237
or father, anxious to send you off properly.
1418
01:17:16,806 --> 01:17:19,036
As we all are. Of course.
1419
01:17:19,109 --> 01:17:21,373
Now, tenderness,
1420
01:17:22,112 --> 01:17:26,242
that is what I advocate.
Tenderness and patience.
1421
01:17:27,650 --> 01:17:29,709
Genevieve was a watercolorist.
1422
01:17:29,786 --> 01:17:34,382
Therefore, after the wedding reception,
we went straight to the Catskills.
1423
01:17:37,027 --> 01:17:42,329
We spent there a beautiful week
filled with promise.
1424
01:17:43,066 --> 01:17:46,661
And returned to New York
with 14 excellent watercolors.
1425
01:17:47,303 --> 01:17:48,736
Fourteen watercolors.
1426
01:17:48,805 --> 01:17:53,105
Back in New York, I flung my enthusiasm
into preparing a lecture,
1427
01:17:53,176 --> 01:17:55,406
"The Flora of the Catskills,"
1428
01:17:55,478 --> 01:17:58,208
whilst Genevieve painted
a flight of swallows
1429
01:17:58,281 --> 01:18:00,806
around the walls of our living room.
1430
01:18:01,384 --> 01:18:02,578
Ah, me.
1431
01:18:03,586 --> 01:18:08,148
I remember for three months,
every time I bade her goodnight
1432
01:18:08,224 --> 01:18:11,421
I would kiss the palm of her little hand,
1433
01:18:11,494 --> 01:18:14,327
astonished at my own boldness.
1434
01:18:14,397 --> 01:18:16,388
What did you say
the name of the flower was?
1435
01:18:16,466 --> 01:18:19,958
Anemone nemorosa,
of the buttercup family.
1436
01:18:20,837 --> 01:18:24,398
Genevieve was a blonde.
1437
01:18:26,142 --> 01:18:28,235
Here is a lock of her hair.
1438
01:18:28,711 --> 01:18:30,178
- Very lovely.
- Yes.
1439
01:18:30,246 --> 01:18:33,215
I remember, it used to shine a great deal.
1440
01:18:33,283 --> 01:18:36,810
And there was a song at that time
everyone sang.
1441
01:18:37,487 --> 01:18:40,251
Unfortunately, I can never carry a tune.
1442
01:18:41,724 --> 01:18:43,089
That's it.
1443
01:18:45,528 --> 01:18:47,257
Please sing it all.
1444
01:18:48,565 --> 01:18:50,624
1445
01:18:51,468 --> 01:18:53,459
Does anyone else know it?
1446
01:19:15,792 --> 01:19:17,384
Please sing it again.
1447
01:19:24,601 --> 01:19:27,900
1448
01:19:50,860 --> 01:19:52,350
Please, go on.
1449
01:19:58,768 --> 01:20:00,895
Thank you, thank you so much.
1450
01:20:36,306 --> 01:20:37,637
Good boy.
1451
01:20:47,884 --> 01:20:50,182
Robinson, what did you make
of what Oddly was saying?
1452
01:20:50,253 --> 01:20:52,448
Don't ask me, Potts. He's the expert.
1453
01:20:52,522 --> 01:20:55,958
- What's his bungalow number?
- I don't know. Ask Peagram.
1454
01:20:56,025 --> 01:20:58,823
Peagram, what's the number
of Oddly's bungalow?
1455
01:20:58,895 --> 01:21:00,294
He's in six.
1456
01:21:24,454 --> 01:21:25,614
Oddly?
1457
01:21:27,924 --> 01:21:29,687
I'm sorry, Oddly,
but I've got to talk this out.
1458
01:21:29,759 --> 01:21:32,956
I must get this off my chest
before it stifles me.
1459
01:21:34,030 --> 01:21:35,520
If you don't mind,
we won't turn on the light
1460
01:21:35,598 --> 01:21:38,795
while we're discussing
these things extremely personal.
1461
01:21:38,868 --> 01:21:40,665
What you said,
1462
01:21:40,737 --> 01:21:44,503
I recognize the beauty and delicacy
of the relationship you described.
1463
01:21:44,574 --> 01:21:47,042
But I'm... I don't trust myself.
1464
01:21:47,110 --> 01:21:49,874
I'm afraid
I'm a lot bolder than you are, Oddly.
1465
01:21:49,946 --> 01:21:52,813
You don't think that would necessarily
endanger everything? Do you?
1466
01:21:52,882 --> 01:21:56,374
Why, the very idea that I should
have to spend my honeymoon
1467
01:21:56,452 --> 01:21:58,420
watching her paint in watercolors
1468
01:21:58,488 --> 01:22:02,254
just because she's like somebody
from the buttercup family, I...
1469
01:22:03,593 --> 01:22:05,584
I'm a man in love.
It's the first time in my life.
1470
01:22:05,662 --> 01:22:07,596
I want to take her in my arms.
1471
01:22:07,664 --> 01:22:11,828
I thought because I was young,
I had self-control but that's not true.
1472
01:22:11,901 --> 01:22:14,165
I think of her every waking moment.
1473
01:22:14,237 --> 01:22:17,104
Why, if this marriage had been delayed,
I mean, should have been delayed,
1474
01:22:17,173 --> 01:22:18,970
I mean, should be...
1475
01:22:19,742 --> 01:22:22,802
Listen to that.
Oddly, I don't know my tenses anymore.
1476
01:22:22,879 --> 01:22:26,975
I've gone goofy, completely goofy,
bim-buggy, slap-happy.
1477
01:22:27,050 --> 01:22:30,645
Can a man like that keep his mind
on the Anemone nemorosa?
1478
01:22:31,521 --> 01:22:34,046
- Pottsy.
- What...
1479
01:22:39,362 --> 01:22:43,958
I'm sorry, I don't know
how I could have made such a mistake.
1480
01:22:44,033 --> 01:22:47,764
To say such things to a woman.
You'll have to forgive me.
1481
01:22:48,338 --> 01:22:50,431
Don't apologize, Pottsy.
1482
01:22:50,907 --> 01:22:53,171
It was illuminating.
1483
01:22:56,779 --> 01:22:58,212
Professor Potts!
1484
01:23:00,283 --> 01:23:03,684
- Somebody is calling me.
- Are they?
1485
01:23:05,822 --> 01:23:07,756
Maybe it's just as well.
1486
01:23:07,824 --> 01:23:09,849
- Professor Potts!
- Professor Potts!
1487
01:23:11,361 --> 01:23:12,851
I'll be back.
1488
01:23:25,975 --> 01:23:27,670
- Were you calling me?
- Yes, we were, Potts.
1489
01:23:27,744 --> 01:23:29,871
Potts, something has come up.
1490
01:23:29,946 --> 01:23:31,709
- Yes, well...
- Well, what?
1491
01:23:32,615 --> 01:23:36,551
- You better tell him, Martin.
- Maybe he'd better tell him.
1492
01:23:36,619 --> 01:23:38,018
- Who?
- Potts.
1493
01:23:40,089 --> 01:23:41,249
There's a gentleman here. No.
1494
01:23:41,324 --> 01:23:42,416
There's a man here. No.
1495
01:23:42,492 --> 01:23:45,757
- Four men, four men inside.
- Yes, they'll tell you.
1496
01:23:55,438 --> 01:23:59,135
- Well, what...
- So you're the bridegroom?
1497
01:23:59,208 --> 01:24:02,575
- Yes. This is Professor Potts.
- How are you, Bertram?
1498
01:24:04,013 --> 01:24:06,846
I thought
you'd look like these other squats,
1499
01:24:06,916 --> 01:24:09,510
only with a beard and pea soup on it.
1500
01:24:09,986 --> 01:24:12,511
What about me evoked
this interest on your part?
1501
01:24:12,588 --> 01:24:15,352
- Sounds like it was engraved, don't it?
- Yeah.
1502
01:24:15,425 --> 01:24:18,758
- What is this all about?
- It's about Sugarpuss.
1503
01:24:18,828 --> 01:24:22,821
- Perhaps if we talked to him...
- There's been too many detours as is.
1504
01:24:22,899 --> 01:24:26,460
Maybe you recognize my voice, Bertram,
do you?
1505
01:24:29,305 --> 01:24:30,932
How's your sinus?
1506
01:24:32,675 --> 01:24:35,371
- You're not her father.
- You're getting warm.
1507
01:24:35,445 --> 01:24:36,434
I'm her daddy.
1508
01:24:37,580 --> 01:24:38,569
Shut up.
1509
01:24:39,048 --> 01:24:42,040
I believe I'm entitled to some clarification.
1510
01:24:43,886 --> 01:24:45,080
So am I.
1511
01:24:55,298 --> 01:24:56,595
Lipstick.
1512
01:25:00,837 --> 01:25:02,566
What are you doing?
1513
01:25:04,307 --> 01:25:06,138
Calm down now, Wimpy.
1514
01:25:10,780 --> 01:25:13,374
I was kind of counting on Sugarpuss
to tell you the score.
1515
01:25:13,449 --> 01:25:16,782
Trouble is she's all right giving out
with the twists and the wise cracks.
1516
01:25:16,853 --> 01:25:18,445
When it comes to leveling off,
she gets chicken.
1517
01:25:18,521 --> 01:25:21,217
He's trying to say that our wedding trip
was nothing but a vast lie.
1518
01:25:21,290 --> 01:25:22,985
A vast lie?
1519
01:25:23,059 --> 01:25:24,583
Don't you believe it, Bertram.
1520
01:25:24,660 --> 01:25:27,629
There's going to be a wedding all right,
with Sugarpuss the bride.
1521
01:25:27,697 --> 01:25:28,721
Only I'm the bridegroom.
1522
01:25:30,132 --> 01:25:31,190
Shake it off.
1523
01:25:33,402 --> 01:25:37,133
I certainly do appreciate the way
you guys delivered a hot cargo.
1524
01:25:38,641 --> 01:25:41,041
She was to be handled with care.
1525
01:25:41,110 --> 01:25:46,673
- Potts, it seems that your bride to be...
- His bride. That's a laugh.
1526
01:25:47,517 --> 01:25:51,715
It seems that Sugarpuss has used us
to circumvent the police.
1527
01:25:51,787 --> 01:25:55,154
- We serving as protective coloration.
Yes.
1528
01:25:55,224 --> 01:25:56,418
I don't believe it.
1529
01:25:56,492 --> 01:25:58,824
Professor, you really thought
she was going to marry you
1530
01:25:58,895 --> 01:26:01,864
with your $3,000 what-was-it a year?
1531
01:26:01,931 --> 01:26:04,661
She spends that much
for having her toenails painted.
1532
01:26:04,734 --> 01:26:07,464
She sulks if she has to wear
last year's ermine.
1533
01:26:10,139 --> 01:26:12,573
He don't believe it. Look at him.
1534
01:26:13,543 --> 01:26:17,070
All right. Suppose you go tell Sugarpuss
Daddy's here.
1535
01:26:21,417 --> 01:26:23,214
Joe Lilac's the name.
1536
01:26:34,897 --> 01:26:37,024
Professor Potts! Professor Potts!
1537
01:26:37,099 --> 01:26:38,589
- Why, Miss Bragg.
- Is it too late?
1538
01:26:38,668 --> 01:26:40,431
Have you married that girl?
She knocked me out.
1539
01:26:40,503 --> 01:26:42,403
Nine hours in a closet.
Something told me all along.
1540
01:26:42,471 --> 01:26:44,166
Hold the phone, sister.
1541
01:26:44,240 --> 01:26:45,400
We traced you through your accident.
1542
01:26:45,474 --> 01:26:48,238
There's a warrant from the DA's office
for this girlfriend of Lilac's.
1543
01:26:48,311 --> 01:26:49,801
Where is she?
1544
01:27:12,101 --> 01:27:14,626
There's a Mr. Lilac waiting for you.
1545
01:27:15,237 --> 01:27:16,329
Yeah.
1546
01:27:17,273 --> 01:27:20,765
The situation has been explained to me
in simple terms.
1547
01:27:21,344 --> 01:27:26,441
You don't have to worry about the police.
I told them you and he left a half hour ago.
1548
01:27:26,515 --> 01:27:28,312
Probably were in Trenton by now.
1549
01:27:28,384 --> 01:27:30,818
- Thanks, Pottsy.
- Thanks for what?
1550
01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:35,254
You've given us all a fine course in
the theory and practice of being a sucker.
1551
01:27:35,324 --> 01:27:37,792
It was a very small tuition fee.
1552
01:27:37,860 --> 01:27:40,055
Perhaps it wasn't quite worthy
of you choosing us
1553
01:27:40,129 --> 01:27:42,757
as subjects of your demonstration.
1554
01:27:43,466 --> 01:27:47,027
Eight pushovers,
like shooting fish in a barrel.
1555
01:27:48,371 --> 01:27:49,360
I...
1556
01:27:50,072 --> 01:27:52,700
I didn't want you to get it this way.
1557
01:27:53,242 --> 01:27:55,107
Not right in the face.
1558
01:27:56,412 --> 01:27:57,845
I've been...
1559
01:27:58,981 --> 01:28:02,473
I've been sitting here
trying to write you a letter.
1560
01:28:02,551 --> 01:28:04,542
Here are all my excuses.
1561
01:28:08,290 --> 01:28:12,192
The handwriting of a...
What would be your word for it?
1562
01:28:19,201 --> 01:28:20,498
A tramp.
1563
01:28:44,026 --> 01:28:46,654
- Good morning, Miss Bragg.
- Good morning, gentlemen.
1564
01:28:46,729 --> 01:28:49,254
What about some nice hot breakfast?
I made some Parker House rolls.
1565
01:28:49,331 --> 01:28:51,128
- No, thank you.
- Even have some jam.
1566
01:28:51,200 --> 01:28:52,565
Strawberry jam, Professor Oddly.
1567
01:28:52,635 --> 01:28:54,626
Thank you, Miss Bragg,
but I don't think so.
1568
01:28:54,704 --> 01:28:56,638
- Nobody wants any breakfast?
- No, thank you.
1569
01:28:56,706 --> 01:28:59,140
Why? What? Very well.
1570
01:29:19,895 --> 01:29:22,329
Gentlemen, just a moment, please.
1571
01:29:23,199 --> 01:29:26,032
Before we attempt to get back to work,
I'd like to say a few words.
1572
01:29:26,102 --> 01:29:30,869
You've been very kind and very tactful.
If I may say so, over-tactful.
1573
01:29:32,041 --> 01:29:33,406
The entire ride home in the car,
1574
01:29:33,476 --> 01:29:37,242
you avoided a certain subject
and made empty conversation.
1575
01:29:37,313 --> 01:29:40,180
Now, let's have it out.
I made an ass of myself and I know it.
1576
01:29:40,249 --> 01:29:42,274
Oh, well, we all have, Potts.
1577
01:29:42,351 --> 01:29:44,512
Yes, but I was the lead donkey.
1578
01:29:45,087 --> 01:29:49,717
Why not just regard the episode
as a prolonged constitutional?
1579
01:29:49,792 --> 01:29:51,885
That's right. That's what we'll do.
1580
01:29:51,961 --> 01:29:52,985
Thank you.
1581
01:29:53,062 --> 01:29:56,623
What happened to our emotions
can't be undone.
1582
01:29:56,699 --> 01:29:59,293
What happened to our work
must be remedied.
1583
01:29:59,368 --> 01:30:03,464
I'm sorry, but because of me
we must work two extra hours a day.
1584
01:30:03,539 --> 01:30:05,131
In a month,
we'll be back on schedule again.
1585
01:30:05,207 --> 01:30:06,401
- Sure.
- That's right.
1586
01:30:06,475 --> 01:30:08,033
Now, we are all scholars.
1587
01:30:08,110 --> 01:30:10,738
Let us withdraw behind our wall of books,
1588
01:30:10,813 --> 01:30:14,044
and may her name never
be brought up in this house again.
1589
01:30:14,116 --> 01:30:18,052
- We didn't mention it, Potts.
- Not even by omitting it so obviously.
1590
01:30:18,120 --> 01:30:20,748
Excuse me, Bertram, but...
1591
01:30:20,823 --> 01:30:24,315
Well, now that
we are burying her memory,
1592
01:30:24,393 --> 01:30:28,989
I feel it only fair, you see,
she gave me something for you.
1593
01:30:29,064 --> 01:30:34,661
I found her crying in her bungalow,
and she slipped your ring into my pocket.
1594
01:30:34,737 --> 01:30:36,432
Put it in the wastebasket, please, Oddly.
1595
01:30:36,505 --> 01:30:38,234
Just a moment.
Just a moment.
1596
01:30:38,307 --> 01:30:42,073
- Is this your ring, Potts?
- That for $39.85?
1597
01:30:42,144 --> 01:30:45,170
- Doesn't look like it.
- Why, no it is not.
1598
01:30:45,247 --> 01:30:47,215
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
1599
01:30:48,150 --> 01:30:53,782
Because if this is the one she gave
back to you and not the one you gave her,
1600
01:30:54,957 --> 01:30:56,254
it's enormously interesting.
1601
01:30:56,325 --> 01:30:58,885
- But why?
- Why? How so?
1602
01:31:00,162 --> 01:31:01,789
Potts.
1603
01:31:01,864 --> 01:31:03,991
- She loves you.
- How can you say that?
1604
01:31:04,066 --> 01:31:06,227
Please, she happened
to pull that one off by mistake.
1605
01:31:06,302 --> 01:31:08,770
- Not according to Professor Freud.
- Freud?
1606
01:31:08,838 --> 01:31:11,671
The subconscious mind
never makes mistakes.
1607
01:31:12,508 --> 01:31:15,841
She gave you the ring she didn't want,
his ring.
1608
01:31:16,712 --> 01:31:20,546
And she kept the one she wanted, yours.
1609
01:31:20,616 --> 01:31:24,416
- That's right, Potts.
- Bosh and nonsense.
1610
01:31:24,486 --> 01:31:26,010
I agree with Miss Bragg.
1611
01:31:26,088 --> 01:31:28,989
I refuse to be coddled with
a lot of psychoanalytical nonsense.
1612
01:31:29,058 --> 01:31:31,959
As one who understands a woman's heart,
I would like to...
1613
01:31:36,198 --> 01:31:37,825
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
1614
01:31:37,900 --> 01:31:39,595
Quite an eventful night
last night, gentlemen.
1615
01:31:39,668 --> 01:31:41,033
At least, so we see by the papers.
1616
01:31:42,204 --> 01:31:45,799
We're quite fresh this morning, however.
And we're going back to work with a will.
1617
01:31:45,875 --> 01:31:47,502
- Yes, indeed.
- There's no hurry about that.
1618
01:31:47,576 --> 01:31:50,409
- Not any longer.
- We've had quite enough of your activities.
1619
01:31:50,479 --> 01:31:53,937
It has cost the estate some $300,000
to at last have its name
1620
01:31:54,016 --> 01:31:56,041
spread across every tabloid in New York.
1621
01:31:56,118 --> 01:31:58,882
"Night club babe hides out
in Totten Foundation."
1622
01:31:58,954 --> 01:32:00,854
- And this one.
- Yes.
1623
01:32:01,557 --> 01:32:04,355
"Professor bridegroom carries
ball of fire across state line."
1624
01:32:04,426 --> 01:32:06,223
And many others like it.
1625
01:32:06,295 --> 01:32:10,891
For my father, I feel profound humiliation.
For myself, unutterable disgust.
1626
01:32:10,966 --> 01:32:12,627
- Shall I go ahead?
- Please.
1627
01:32:12,701 --> 01:32:14,134
For the aforesaid reasons,
1628
01:32:14,203 --> 01:32:16,296
Miss Totten has decided
to discontinue the encyclopedia.
1629
01:32:16,372 --> 01:32:17,430
What?
1630
01:32:17,506 --> 01:32:19,531
- How soon can you vacate?
- Vacate? After nine years?
1631
01:32:19,608 --> 01:32:21,701
- Expelled in disgrace?
- Pull the chair from under us?
1632
01:32:21,777 --> 01:32:23,904
Thrown out like eight old shoes?
1633
01:32:23,979 --> 01:32:26,709
I'm sorry, gentlemen,
but my mind's made up.
1634
01:32:26,782 --> 01:32:28,010
Go ahead, Mr. Larsen.
1635
01:32:28,083 --> 01:32:30,074
Several real estate firms
are interested in this property.
1636
01:32:30,152 --> 01:32:33,178
One of the companies wants to erect
an apartment house here, giving you...
1637
01:32:33,255 --> 01:32:34,483
Whoa! Please don't do that.
1638
01:32:34,556 --> 01:32:35,887
I'm sorry.
1639
01:32:36,492 --> 01:32:39,052
One word, Miss Totten, may I?
1640
01:32:39,128 --> 01:32:42,689
In your very understandable excitement,
a great injustice is being done.
1641
01:32:42,765 --> 01:32:43,925
I am the guilty one.
1642
01:32:43,999 --> 01:32:47,025
And I accept my dishonorable discharge
without protest,
1643
01:32:47,102 --> 01:32:49,764
but that others should suffer
and be punished
1644
01:32:49,838 --> 01:32:52,272
for my misconduct
is unthinkable.
1645
01:32:53,809 --> 01:32:56,141
Oh, my goodness, what was that?
1646
01:33:00,582 --> 01:33:02,345
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
1647
01:33:02,418 --> 01:33:05,854
Everybody line up over there,
like for a photograph.
1648
01:33:07,156 --> 01:33:09,522
With you, Bertram, in the foreground.
1649
01:33:09,591 --> 01:33:11,115
Come on, get going.
1650
01:33:11,193 --> 01:33:14,560
Get around, get around. Go on.
Faster. Keep moving.
1651
01:33:15,931 --> 01:33:20,231
Saint Valentine's Day!
1652
01:33:37,619 --> 01:33:39,951
Is the bride ready yet?
1653
01:33:40,022 --> 01:33:41,887
- No, not yet.
- What?
1654
01:33:42,658 --> 01:33:46,526
- Louder, please.
- We're still talking it over.
1655
01:33:46,595 --> 01:33:48,620
Good idea. Important step.
1656
01:33:49,898 --> 01:33:53,390
- Hey, wait a minute. Where you going?
- For lunch. Five minutes late.
1657
01:33:53,469 --> 01:33:57,462
- When are you going to be back?
- After I've ate and had my nap.
1658
01:33:58,073 --> 01:34:00,473
How long are we gonna argue this?
1659
01:34:01,143 --> 01:34:04,442
- Now look, Sugie.
- I said no. And no is no.
1660
01:34:04,513 --> 01:34:07,641
Sugie, when I was nine years old,
I was in love with my piano teacher.
1661
01:34:07,716 --> 01:34:10,514
She played classical.
You're not nine years old.
1662
01:34:10,586 --> 01:34:11,575
I love him.
1663
01:34:11,653 --> 01:34:14,121
- She loves him.
- Yes, I love him.
1664
01:34:14,189 --> 01:34:17,283
I love those hick shirts he wears
with the boiled cuffs.
1665
01:34:17,359 --> 01:34:19,520
And the way he always has
his vest buttoned wrong.
1666
01:34:19,595 --> 01:34:22,063
Looks like a giraffe and I love him.
1667
01:34:22,131 --> 01:34:23,530
I love him because he's the kind of a guy
1668
01:34:23,599 --> 01:34:26,591
that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk.
1669
01:34:26,668 --> 01:34:30,069
And I love the way
he blushes right up over his ears.
1670
01:34:31,306 --> 01:34:34,901
I love him because he doesn't know
how to kiss, the jerk.
1671
01:34:35,711 --> 01:34:38,874
I love him, Joe.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
1672
01:34:38,947 --> 01:34:40,938
I'll never see him again.
1673
01:34:41,617 --> 01:34:43,983
But I'm not gonna marry you.
1674
01:34:44,053 --> 01:34:46,180
Not if you tie a ton of cement
around my neck
1675
01:34:46,255 --> 01:34:48,780
and throw me into the East River
like you did to all the others.
1676
01:34:48,857 --> 01:34:50,688
- I tell you, Joe was framed.
- Oh, sure, sure.
1677
01:34:50,759 --> 01:34:53,193
So you tell me, I know better now.
1678
01:34:54,063 --> 01:34:56,725
I guess she'd better talk to her professor.
Get him on the phone.
1679
01:34:56,799 --> 01:34:58,357
You leave him out of this.
1680
01:34:58,434 --> 01:35:00,925
Imagine that big giraffe
at the bottom of the East River.
1681
01:35:01,003 --> 01:35:03,267
You wouldn't like that to happen
to him, would you, Sugarpuss?
1682
01:35:03,338 --> 01:35:05,772
- That ain't funny, McGee.
- Who said it's funny?
1683
01:35:05,841 --> 01:35:07,433
I mean business.
1684
01:35:08,177 --> 01:35:10,543
That is if you don't say "I do"
like a nice little bride.
1685
01:35:10,612 --> 01:35:11,601
Uh-uh.
1686
01:35:12,181 --> 01:35:15,582
I kind of figured you'd bumped your brains
into one of them pink clouds.
1687
01:35:15,651 --> 01:35:18,415
- You can't do this, Joe.
- It's too late, Sugie.
1688
01:35:18,487 --> 01:35:21,217
- The pressure's on already.
- What is this? Putting the screws on me?
1689
01:35:21,290 --> 01:35:23,622
You said it,
and right where it'll do the most good.
1690
01:35:23,692 --> 01:35:26,388
- Neighborhood of the heart.
- Hello.
1691
01:35:26,462 --> 01:35:29,124
This is McNeary. Hang on. Here you are.
1692
01:35:30,065 --> 01:35:31,464
You take it.
1693
01:35:35,838 --> 01:35:37,703
- Hello?
- Hello, Sugie.
1694
01:35:38,874 --> 01:35:40,637
Sure, it's Pastrami.
1695
01:35:42,744 --> 01:35:44,678
Just dropped in on the boys,
Asthma and me,
1696
01:35:44,746 --> 01:35:47,078
with our little old typewriters.
1697
01:35:48,050 --> 01:35:49,779
That's up to the boss.
We're waiting for orders.
1698
01:35:51,053 --> 01:35:53,783
- For orders?
- Can we make a deal now, Sugie?
1699
01:35:54,523 --> 01:35:59,051
Sure we can, brother.
Put him on, Pastrami, just a word.
1700
01:36:00,329 --> 01:36:03,059
Would you mind stepping
to the phone, Professor Potts?
1701
01:36:03,132 --> 01:36:05,327
A lady friend of yours.
1702
01:36:05,400 --> 01:36:08,028
I have nothing to say to Miss O'Shea.
1703
01:36:08,704 --> 01:36:12,265
- Oh, please, please!
- You haven't?
1704
01:36:12,341 --> 01:36:13,330
Just a moment.
1705
01:36:13,408 --> 01:36:15,069
Goodness, this is awful.
Yesterday, a nightclub...
1706
01:36:15,144 --> 01:36:16,805
Shut your clam, sister.
1707
01:36:16,879 --> 01:36:18,039
Hello.
1708
01:36:18,847 --> 01:36:21,975
Yes, Miss O'Shea, this is Professor Potts.
1709
01:36:22,050 --> 01:36:23,915
Your friends are here.
1710
01:36:24,553 --> 01:36:27,545
Not at all.
Your methods are familiar by now.
1711
01:36:27,623 --> 01:36:30,183
I don't know the exact purpose
of this maneuver.
1712
01:36:30,259 --> 01:36:32,727
What more can be gained from us?
1713
01:36:32,794 --> 01:36:35,262
But I hope
that it works to your advantage.
1714
01:36:36,331 --> 01:36:39,391
I'm sorry, Pottsy,
but it'll be all right in a little while.
1715
01:36:39,468 --> 01:36:44,167
They won't hurt anybody.
Just don't do anything foolish.
1716
01:36:44,239 --> 01:36:46,332
- Promise me, Pottsy.
- Give it.
1717
01:36:49,278 --> 01:36:52,304
Okay, Bertram, put Pastrami back on.
1718
01:36:52,948 --> 01:36:55,416
I imagine he wants to talk to you.
1719
01:36:56,385 --> 01:36:57,716
Yes, boss?
1720
01:36:58,387 --> 01:37:03,256
Okay, we'll wait for the call.
And best wishes, boss. Congratulations.
1721
01:37:04,960 --> 01:37:08,691
Well, all we have to do
is to wait for the all-clear signal.
1722
01:37:09,698 --> 01:37:13,031
We'll dismiss the class
right after the ceremony.
1723
01:37:13,101 --> 01:37:16,662
- Did you say after the ceremony?
- That's what I said.
1724
01:37:16,738 --> 01:37:18,137
You mean they're not married yet?
1725
01:37:18,207 --> 01:37:20,038
Why do you think
we're futzing around with these?
1726
01:37:20,108 --> 01:37:21,234
Well, I don't know, I thought...
1727
01:37:21,310 --> 01:37:25,337
A little trouble with Sugarpuss'
vocal chords. Wouldn't say yes.
1728
01:37:25,714 --> 01:37:28,205
She wouldn't say yes? What...
1729
01:37:28,283 --> 01:37:29,716
You very ugly young man,
1730
01:37:29,785 --> 01:37:32,515
you know, to me at this moment
you look perfectly delightful?
1731
01:37:32,588 --> 01:37:34,146
- I mean absolutely beautiful.
- I what?
1732
01:37:34,223 --> 01:37:35,747
- Positively wonderful.
- Are you nuts?
1733
01:37:35,824 --> 01:37:37,985
No, I feel like yodeling.
1734
01:37:40,562 --> 01:37:41,824
Pardon me.
1735
01:37:41,897 --> 01:37:45,697
Dr. Gurkakoff,
my apologies to Professor Freud.
1736
01:37:45,767 --> 01:37:47,029
Thank you.
1737
01:37:47,102 --> 01:37:49,798
But you don't understand.
This visit is no longer a mystery.
1738
01:37:49,871 --> 01:37:51,566
Apparently, it requires those two guns
1739
01:37:51,640 --> 01:37:54,541
leveled on us
to force Sugarpuss to marry Mr. Lilac.
1740
01:37:54,776 --> 01:37:56,209
- You mean to say that...
- Yes.
1741
01:37:56,278 --> 01:37:59,304
- That explains everything.
- Break it up, break it up.
1742
01:37:59,381 --> 01:38:01,212
- We can't allow that.
- No, no, indeed.
1743
01:38:01,283 --> 01:38:02,875
Can't, huh?
What do you think we're here for?
1744
01:38:02,951 --> 01:38:06,944
But, young man, you see,
we all love this young lady very dearly.
1745
01:38:07,022 --> 01:38:08,922
Better look out. It's gonna spit.
1746
01:38:08,991 --> 01:38:10,652
What is going to... Oh, dear.
1747
01:38:10,726 --> 01:38:14,093
- Now, sit down, all of you. Sit down.
- Yes, we're... I mean, we're...
1748
01:38:21,069 --> 01:38:22,093
Ah.
1749
01:38:22,170 --> 01:38:25,401
Don't look so big now,
them eight big brains.
1750
01:38:25,474 --> 01:38:27,237
Not to me they don't.
1751
01:38:28,677 --> 01:38:30,304
You are under the impression
that you are big
1752
01:38:30,379 --> 01:38:31,539
because you have those firearms
1753
01:38:31,613 --> 01:38:34,343
because you know how to load them
and pull the trigger.
1754
01:38:34,416 --> 01:38:36,850
It would be interesting
to teach them the contrary...
1755
01:38:36,918 --> 01:38:38,943
Button it up, understand?
1756
01:38:40,956 --> 01:38:43,720
Hey, fellows, this won't take a second.
1757
01:38:43,792 --> 01:38:45,987
They're pulling a double or nothing
on that quizzola.
1758
01:38:46,061 --> 01:38:48,757
Three new questions. First.
1759
01:38:48,830 --> 01:38:51,594
"The sword of Damocles, was that a..."
1760
01:38:52,901 --> 01:38:54,698
Say, was you holding a meeting
or something?
1761
01:38:54,770 --> 01:38:56,738
More like a wake, maybe.
1762
01:39:00,242 --> 01:39:02,904
- Excuse me.
- Just a minute, Jack.
1763
01:39:03,478 --> 01:39:06,936
We got a loge seat for you,
right in the back row.
1764
01:39:07,015 --> 01:39:08,607
This way, please.
1765
01:39:14,956 --> 01:39:16,423
That's right.
1766
01:39:17,626 --> 01:39:19,116
Now, sit down.
1767
01:39:36,912 --> 01:39:41,440
Young man, your...
You don't mind if we talk, do you?
1768
01:39:41,516 --> 01:39:43,814
- Just keep it funny.
- Thank you.
1769
01:39:44,486 --> 01:39:48,752
Your question as you came in was about
the sword of Damocles, I believe.
1770
01:39:49,057 --> 01:39:50,115
Yeah.
1771
01:39:50,192 --> 01:39:52,752
- But I'd just as soon skip it.
- No, but it's a very interesting subject.
1772
01:39:52,828 --> 01:39:55,023
- Never mind.
- Yeah, but I do mind.
1773
01:39:55,731 --> 01:39:58,529
I just wanted to tell you
that the sword of Damocles
1774
01:39:58,600 --> 01:40:00,295
was suspended over his head.
1775
01:40:00,369 --> 01:40:02,803
- Yes, by a single hair.
- Exactly.
1776
01:40:02,904 --> 01:40:07,238
Did you hear that, Robinson?
Suspended over his head by a single hair.
1777
01:40:07,309 --> 01:40:09,539
A constant source of danger.
1778
01:40:09,611 --> 01:40:12,671
Mr. Pastrami,
you know your history, don't you?
1779
01:40:13,382 --> 01:40:17,876
It's not one of my best points.
I never went in for that kind of stuff.
1780
01:40:18,553 --> 01:40:22,080
- At least, not very much.
- Well, I thought I'd just ask you.
1781
01:40:22,157 --> 01:40:25,183
- A very interesting lesson indeed.
- Yes.
1782
01:40:25,894 --> 01:40:30,263
Yes, indeed. I've always found it
a most absorbing subject.
1783
01:40:30,332 --> 01:40:32,823
But Mr. Totten is not suspended by a hair.
1784
01:40:34,703 --> 01:40:36,068
Uh-uh.
1785
01:40:36,138 --> 01:40:39,665
No secrets, boys, talk upstairs.
1786
01:40:39,741 --> 01:40:42,471
- I thought you'd see it.
- Don't you agree, Dr. Gurkakoff?
1787
01:40:42,544 --> 01:40:44,876
- What did you say?
- I said, don't you agree?
1788
01:40:44,946 --> 01:40:49,440
Yes, yes, yes. A danger very often
overhangs the unsuspecting.
1789
01:40:49,518 --> 01:40:50,883
What kind of jive is that?
1790
01:40:50,952 --> 01:40:53,512
If you're gonna talk, talk so we can dig it.
1791
01:40:53,588 --> 01:40:55,954
Oh, I'm sorry. We'll try.
1792
01:40:56,024 --> 01:40:58,185
- Dr. Gurkakoff?
- Yeah?
1793
01:40:58,260 --> 01:41:01,252
What was that about
the Roman fleet and Archimedes?
1794
01:41:01,329 --> 01:41:04,389
I don't remember.
You know, it's not exactly...
1795
01:41:04,466 --> 01:41:07,492
Why, he set it afire
with the use of reflectors.
1796
01:41:07,569 --> 01:41:10,697
You can talk just as well sitting down,
can't you?
1797
01:41:10,772 --> 01:41:12,330
Yes, yes.
1798
01:41:13,041 --> 01:41:16,306
I find that vastly instructive,
don't you, Dr. Gurkakoff?
1799
01:41:16,378 --> 01:41:18,278
Extremely enlightening.
1800
01:41:19,581 --> 01:41:22,379
- Potts, you were saying...
- Yes.
1801
01:41:22,451 --> 01:41:24,817
Now if I... May I stand?
1802
01:41:24,886 --> 01:41:28,583
- Sure, if it's gonna help.
- Thank you, it will a lot.
1803
01:41:28,657 --> 01:41:31,956
Now, if I may have your attention
for a few moments.
1804
01:41:32,027 --> 01:41:35,019
Gentlemen,
you see your inferiority is a question
1805
01:41:35,096 --> 01:41:37,326
of the bony structure of your skulls.
1806
01:41:37,399 --> 01:41:40,926
- What's the matter with our skulls?
- Now, just listen, please.
1807
01:41:41,002 --> 01:41:43,061
Let us take
the glandular syncopation of your eyes.
1808
01:41:43,138 --> 01:41:45,538
Kindly look at me, both of you.
It's very important.
1809
01:41:45,607 --> 01:41:48,303
They are the doliocephalic and
the brachiocephalic
1810
01:41:48,376 --> 01:41:50,674
with a somewhat
Mediterranean estrafuge.
1811
01:41:50,745 --> 01:41:52,474
Now try to follow me closely.
1812
01:41:52,547 --> 01:41:56,506
Now, the double smorgasbord
of your chins, for instance,
1813
01:41:56,585 --> 01:41:59,383
convexing into
the cataclysmic protoplasm...
1814
01:42:00,455 --> 01:42:02,047
Am I boring you?
1815
01:42:03,325 --> 01:42:07,193
- I don't get it.
- Now, the latest centrifugal research
1816
01:42:07,262 --> 01:42:11,198
as performed by
Bronxville scientists has proven
1817
01:42:11,266 --> 01:42:15,862
that syllogism is enigmatic to prolonged
resistance, especially in the cavalry.
1818
01:42:15,937 --> 01:42:18,906
Now take your ears.
The totalitarian mastoid
1819
01:42:18,974 --> 01:42:23,570
of their basic lobes prematurely
extricated from the paranoiac agriculture
1820
01:42:23,645 --> 01:42:26,136
- and molecular cadenzas...
- Get down to it.
1821
01:42:26,214 --> 01:42:28,978
- What's wrong with us?
- Nothing.
1822
01:42:30,685 --> 01:42:33,153
You're just fine. Everything's fine.
1823
01:42:33,221 --> 01:42:35,849
Now, on one hand
we have the sword of Damocles,
1824
01:42:35,924 --> 01:42:38,256
and on the other hand we have...
1825
01:42:39,094 --> 01:42:40,823
Professor Quintana,
would you look up something
1826
01:42:40,896 --> 01:42:42,454
in Tate's Oriental Philosophy for me?
1827
01:42:42,531 --> 01:42:45,523
- I think I saw it last on your desk.
- Yes, yes.
1828
01:42:46,434 --> 01:42:48,834
- Line one, chapter seven.
- Yes.
1829
01:42:48,904 --> 01:42:50,269
Do you mind?
1830
01:42:51,106 --> 01:42:53,631
Hey, this mixed-up talk
is giving me a headache.
1831
01:42:53,708 --> 01:42:56,768
All that book talk. That's a lot of mahaha.
1832
01:42:56,845 --> 01:42:59,006
I assure you this is not a lot of mahaha.
This is...
1833
01:42:59,080 --> 01:43:01,605
I'll show you
what makes the world go round.
1834
01:43:02,117 --> 01:43:04,608
Kind of spread out a little bit, will you?
1835
01:43:09,257 --> 01:43:12,420
- My globe! My globe!
- Me, I don't like globes.
1836
01:43:14,062 --> 01:43:15,324
Now me.
1837
01:43:19,801 --> 01:43:21,996
I saw me a picture last week.
1838
01:43:34,649 --> 01:43:36,640
There's gonna be a lot
of trash tomorrow, sister.
1839
01:43:36,718 --> 01:43:38,811
If there is any tomorrow, brother.
1840
01:43:56,004 --> 01:43:58,837
Ain't there some more of
them things around?
1841
01:43:58,907 --> 01:44:02,070
- Don't get up, please, just...
- Please.
1842
01:44:03,979 --> 01:44:06,106
What's the matter with all of you?
1843
01:44:06,448 --> 01:44:08,279
We thought...
1844
01:44:08,350 --> 01:44:10,477
- Young man.
- What do you want?
1845
01:44:10,552 --> 01:44:14,784
Do you think you could shoot this dime
1846
01:44:14,856 --> 01:44:18,485
if I held it between my fingers?
1847
01:44:19,828 --> 01:44:21,193
Why, sure.
1848
01:44:22,831 --> 01:44:24,230
I mean...
1849
01:44:24,299 --> 01:44:26,790
I mean from where you were sitting.
1850
01:44:31,706 --> 01:44:32,798
Okay.
1851
01:44:38,780 --> 01:44:40,577
All right, put it up.
1852
01:44:42,550 --> 01:44:46,680
- Perhaps we'd better use a quarter.
- Well, that's twice as easy.
1853
01:44:46,755 --> 01:44:48,222
I'm glad.
1854
01:44:57,899 --> 01:45:00,925
Or maybe even a 50-cent piece?
1855
01:45:02,904 --> 01:45:05,134
He's not as dumb as he looks.
1856
01:45:05,740 --> 01:45:08,072
Has anyone change for $1?
1857
01:45:08,443 --> 01:45:11,344
Never mind, never mind.
A quarter will do. Put it up.
1858
01:45:11,413 --> 01:45:14,644
- Oh, no, I can get change.
- Never mind, put it up.
1859
01:45:36,237 --> 01:45:37,397
I've got him!
1860
01:45:45,814 --> 01:45:48,248
- Hold him, hold him.
- I've got him.
1861
01:45:52,587 --> 01:45:55,750
New Jersey? That's an awful big order.
Whereabouts in Jersey?
1862
01:45:55,824 --> 01:45:58,987
You just keep on driving.
Further orders will be forthcoming.
1863
01:45:59,060 --> 01:46:01,494
I warned you, Miss Totten,
you should never have come along.
1864
01:46:01,563 --> 01:46:03,190
It may be very dangerous.
1865
01:46:03,264 --> 01:46:05,357
This is my encyclopedia,
and I am going to stick with it.
1866
01:46:05,433 --> 01:46:07,628
I've never had so much fun in my life.
1867
01:46:07,702 --> 01:46:09,636
How are they doing inside?
1868
01:46:09,704 --> 01:46:11,171
Are we ready?
1869
01:46:11,239 --> 01:46:13,673
- Shall we start the torture now?
- Just one moment.
1870
01:46:13,742 --> 01:46:16,370
First, we are going to give him
just one chance to talk.
1871
01:46:16,444 --> 01:46:18,275
Where is that ceremony taking place?
1872
01:46:18,346 --> 01:46:21,509
Listen, monkey, I've been given
the third degree by all kinds of cops.
1873
01:46:21,583 --> 01:46:23,676
- All over.
- But not by us.
1874
01:46:23,752 --> 01:46:26,380
You will see, I am an authority
on Chinese tortures.
1875
01:46:26,454 --> 01:46:28,422
That tickles!
1876
01:46:28,490 --> 01:46:31,152
- Are you ready, Dr. Gurkakoff?
- That's right.
1877
01:46:31,226 --> 01:46:34,286
- Now, between the 12th and 13th vertebra.
- No! No! No!
1878
01:46:35,363 --> 01:46:39,561
- Hold his head down.
- Hey, cut it out!
1879
01:46:39,634 --> 01:46:42,398
- Stop it, will you? Look out.
- No, no, no.
1880
01:46:45,173 --> 01:46:47,607
Will you cut it out? Stop it.
1881
01:46:47,942 --> 01:46:50,308
No! No!
1882
01:46:50,779 --> 01:46:52,110
Around and around.
1883
01:46:57,585 --> 01:47:01,180
All right, all right!
All right, I'll talk! I'll talk.
1884
01:47:01,256 --> 01:47:03,554
They're in Fulham, New Jersey.
1885
01:47:04,292 --> 01:47:08,126
- Fulham, New Jersey.
- Fulham, New Jersey.
1886
01:47:08,196 --> 01:47:11,654
Shortest route, Bloomfield, Pine Brook,
Mine Hills, Allamuchy.
1887
01:47:20,942 --> 01:47:22,432
And now repeat after me.
1888
01:47:22,510 --> 01:47:25,035
- I, Joseph Lilac.
- I, Joseph Lilac.
1889
01:47:25,113 --> 01:47:27,581
- Loud, please.
- I, Joseph Lilac...
1890
01:47:27,649 --> 01:47:28,843
Head of Murder Incorporated.
1891
01:47:28,917 --> 01:47:30,976
- Quiet.
- Take thee, Katherine O'Shea.
1892
01:47:31,052 --> 01:47:33,452
- Take thee, Katherine O'Shea...
- Who hates and despises you.
1893
01:47:33,521 --> 01:47:35,318
- Loathes you.
- To be my lawful wedded wife.
1894
01:47:35,390 --> 01:47:38,518
- To be my lawful wedded wife.
- For better or for worse.
1895
01:47:38,593 --> 01:47:40,720
- For better or for worse.
- For worse.
1896
01:47:40,795 --> 01:47:43,593
For richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health.
1897
01:47:43,665 --> 01:47:45,963
For richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health...
1898
01:47:46,034 --> 01:47:47,433
- I'm sick right now.
- Cut it out.
1899
01:47:47,502 --> 01:47:49,402
- What?
- Never mind. Keep going.
1900
01:47:49,470 --> 01:47:51,301
- Huh?
- Keep going!
1901
01:47:51,372 --> 01:47:54,102
To love and to cherish
until death do us part.
1902
01:47:54,175 --> 01:47:55,608
They'll put you in the chair
and fry you like...
1903
01:47:56,744 --> 01:47:59,975
And now repeat after me.
I, Katherine O'Shea.
1904
01:48:00,915 --> 01:48:02,815
I said, repeat after me.
1905
01:48:02,884 --> 01:48:04,351
I, Katherine O'Shea.
1906
01:48:04,419 --> 01:48:06,216
Come on, come on, Sugie.
It's just a parade or something.
1907
01:48:06,287 --> 01:48:08,278
Is it? Just wait and see.
1908
01:48:14,195 --> 01:48:15,389
What is this?
1909
01:48:15,463 --> 01:48:18,591
I believe...
I think it is known as an upstick.
1910
01:48:18,666 --> 01:48:20,395
- A stickup.
- Put 'em up.
1911
01:48:20,468 --> 01:48:22,561
- Hold up your hands.
- Hold 'em up!
1912
01:48:29,310 --> 01:48:30,834
- Back door!
- Don't do that!
1913
01:48:30,912 --> 01:48:32,675
I didn't mean it.
1914
01:48:32,747 --> 01:48:36,706
Hold 'em up there. Hold 'em up!
I mean it! I mean it.
1915
01:48:36,784 --> 01:48:40,982
Come on, now.
Put 'em up. Put 'em up. I mean it.
1916
01:48:49,864 --> 01:48:51,923
Get his gun, get his gun.
1917
01:49:00,241 --> 01:49:02,675
All right, Joe. Put up your dukes.
1918
01:49:04,279 --> 01:49:05,769
Okay, Bertram.
1919
01:49:29,904 --> 01:49:31,565
Come on, Bertram.
1920
01:49:53,127 --> 01:49:56,028
This load of garbage
goes to the DA's office.
1921
01:49:57,465 --> 01:50:00,059
Something must have went wrong, boss.
1922
01:50:02,270 --> 01:50:06,639
Listen, you squirrelly cherubs,
you eight wise idiots, it wouldn't work.
1923
01:50:07,075 --> 01:50:09,339
Remember, Pottsy, no women aboard.
1924
01:50:09,410 --> 01:50:13,642
And now, above all women,
you want to take a dizzy dame like me.
1925
01:50:13,715 --> 01:50:17,412
If you'll allow me, I can prove to you
the inevitability of this step
1926
01:50:17,485 --> 01:50:20,113
- by higher mathematics.
- I can cite examples from history.
1927
01:50:20,188 --> 01:50:23,316
Or from geography,
two rivers converging irresistibly.
1928
01:50:23,391 --> 01:50:24,415
Yes, indeed.
1929
01:50:24,492 --> 01:50:26,050
I can prove it
by examples from literature.
1930
01:50:26,127 --> 01:50:27,719
Physiology.
By law.
1931
01:50:27,795 --> 01:50:29,763
- All of them.
- Gentlemen.
1932
01:50:30,231 --> 01:50:33,291
As a grammarian,
I know when words cease to be of use.
1933
01:50:33,368 --> 01:50:35,529
There remains one argument.
1934
01:50:37,538 --> 01:50:40,268
- Come here, dear.
- Oh, no, please, Pottsy.
1935
01:50:40,341 --> 01:50:42,605
- Get up, darling.
- But, Pottsy...
1936
01:50:42,677 --> 01:50:44,201
- It isn't fair.
- It isn't?
1937
01:50:44,278 --> 01:50:46,007
No. It is not fair.
1938
01:50:46,814 --> 01:50:50,580
Oh, my goodness, Bertram.
Remember the Anemone...
158976
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.