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1
00:00:05,942 --> 00:00:07,955
I mean, she's straight-up stalking me.
2
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,510
She lives in the bushes
outside my apartment in Queens.
3
00:00:10,515 --> 00:00:12,298
She's like horny Harriet the Spy.
4
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:14,222
And my mom lives there.
She's freaking her out.
5
00:00:14,227 --> 00:00:16,761
- I mean, I get it. I'm hot.
- Yeah, you are.
6
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,931
I can barely keep my pants on.
I wanna jump over this table,
7
00:00:18,935 --> 00:00:21,141
and ride you like a
motherfuckin' Citi Bike.
8
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,640
And by that, I mean, after I come,
9
00:00:23,645 --> 00:00:26,187
- I wanna dump you on 14th street.
- I'm telling you, dude.
10
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,961
- She will not stop calling me.
- Well,
11
00:00:27,965 --> 00:00:29,649
maybe she wants her credit card back.
12
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,397
Boom! C Bradshaw with a slam!
13
00:00:32,402 --> 00:00:35,304
Nah, she's not old enough
to qualify for credit yet.
14
00:00:35,507 --> 00:00:36,581
Trigger warning!
15
00:00:36,585 --> 00:00:38,774
Talking about sex with
a minor is never acceptable,
16
00:00:38,778 --> 00:00:41,845
especially if the joke's
as lame as that one!
17
00:00:42,018 --> 00:00:44,831
Uh, Che, listen, I wanna, I wanna
circle back to something you
18
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:47,196
said earlier that
I'm personally triggered by.
19
00:00:47,201 --> 00:00:48,251
Sure, what?
20
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,503
- Citi Bike.
- Me too, Carrie.
21
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,861
Oh, Miss Sis is on fire today.
22
00:00:52,866 --> 00:00:54,393
I love it when you bring your
pussy in, are you kidding?
23
00:00:54,397 --> 00:00:59,185
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
24
00:01:04,912 --> 00:01:09,256
- Hey, nice job today.
- Oh, thanks. Yeah.
25
00:01:09,688 --> 00:01:11,389
I got a few zingers in.
26
00:01:11,394 --> 00:01:13,026
Oof, if you weren't in mourning,
27
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,671
I'd do 20 minutes on
you saying "zingers."
28
00:01:14,676 --> 00:01:16,303
Oh, well, phew.
29
00:01:16,308 --> 00:01:17,998
Thank God my husband died.
30
00:01:18,669 --> 00:01:20,170
How're you holdin' up?
31
00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:22,201
You know, it's been, uh,
32
00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:23,703
it's been a rough few weeks.
33
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,919
- Yeah...
- But just keep reminding myself
34
00:01:25,924 --> 00:01:28,701
that at least we were
happy... at the end.
35
00:01:29,046 --> 00:01:30,798
Never been happier.
36
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,759
God, doesn't that make it sadder?
37
00:01:32,912 --> 00:01:35,834
Oddly, no. No, it, um...
38
00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:37,701
it helps.
39
00:01:38,027 --> 00:01:39,717
It's happy sad.
40
00:01:39,722 --> 00:01:41,263
Wow, that's an amazing
way of looking at it.
41
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,928
Anyway, that's what
I'm clinging to, so...
42
00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:48,436
I'll see you at your
Netflix taping Friday.
43
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,850
Oh no, dude, you don't have
to come to that. It's...
44
00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:52,524
You came to my funeral,
45
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,447
I'm coming to your comedy show.
46
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,118
Besides, I could use a few zingers.
47
00:01:58,123 --> 00:02:00,326
Oh!
48
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,956
I listened to the podcast yesterday.
49
00:02:04,173 --> 00:02:07,247
- Really? I'm shocked.
- I never said never.
50
00:02:07,943 --> 00:02:10,126
It's a nice blend of polemics and farts.
51
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,846
Oh, thanks. Remind me to never
ask you to blurb my books.
52
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:17,977
And Che is funny.
53
00:02:17,982 --> 00:02:20,515
Oh, good. I'm glad you think
so because you're coming
54
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,477
with me to their comedy
concert Friday night.
55
00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:23,805
- I am?!
- Mm-hm.
56
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,453
Oh, great!
57
00:02:27,539 --> 00:02:29,352
You seem a little better today.
58
00:02:30,078 --> 00:02:33,346
Well, I feel like I'm in
the, I'm in the home stretch.
59
00:02:33,351 --> 00:02:36,197
The whole death trifecta.
60
00:02:36,844 --> 00:02:41,659
- What's that trifecta?
- Oh, uh, it's the awful night,
61
00:02:41,664 --> 00:02:44,414
funeral, and now,
the reading of the will.
62
00:02:44,419 --> 00:02:45,501
And then, we get to have lunch.
63
00:02:45,505 --> 00:02:48,132
- I'm thinking I might even eat today.
- Good!
64
00:02:48,371 --> 00:02:49,890
That's progress.
65
00:02:49,895 --> 00:02:51,694
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
66
00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:54,265
He will continue
his annual legacy gifts
67
00:02:54,270 --> 00:02:56,155
to Memorial Sloan Kettering,
68
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,752
New York Public Theater,
69
00:02:57,757 --> 00:03:00,608
and Preservation Hall in New Orleans.
70
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,671
He loved his jazz.
71
00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:05,120
Norman, it's your wife again.
72
00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:07,311
I said hold all calls. Thank you.
73
00:03:07,690 --> 00:03:10,510
- Where were we?
- Not taking your wife's calls.
74
00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:12,734
Sorry... we had a fight.
75
00:03:14,976 --> 00:03:17,561
And now, she's on my Apple Watch.
I better take this.
76
00:03:17,566 --> 00:03:19,101
I'm in the maison du chien.
77
00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:22,085
That's "dog house" in pompous ass.
78
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:24,018
Do you wanna keep talking or
do you wanna hear my side of it?
79
00:03:24,022 --> 00:03:26,576
- God, Gloria...
- Yes, oh, I know, I know.
80
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,569
You've got a lunch,
honey, I know. Okay, so...
81
00:03:30,264 --> 00:03:33,796
- Oh, hello there!
- Stanford! Hi!
82
00:03:33,801 --> 00:03:35,136
What are you doing here?
83
00:03:35,141 --> 00:03:38,353
Oh, I came for lunch.
84
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:39,877
Carrie invited me.
85
00:03:39,882 --> 00:03:42,155
- Oh...
- Why? Is that a problem?
86
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,162
No, no, of course not.
87
00:03:44,167 --> 00:03:47,361
It's just I reserved a table for three.
88
00:03:47,366 --> 00:03:49,233
Oh, I don't think that'll be an issue.
89
00:03:49,238 --> 00:03:51,157
Three-top is always a four-top.
90
00:03:51,329 --> 00:03:53,561
- Mm, no, no, it isn't.
- Trust me.
91
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,443
I know from when I
used to work at Odeon.
92
00:03:55,448 --> 00:03:58,135
A three-top is always a four-top.
93
00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:00,491
There is no way you ever waited tables.
94
00:04:00,496 --> 00:04:04,663
Oh, I was a host back in
the go-go cocaine '80s.
95
00:04:04,668 --> 00:04:06,741
How else do you think I
know Bret Easton Ellis?
96
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,726
Okay, whatever.
97
00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:12,054
It's just it was very
hard to find a place
98
00:04:12,059 --> 00:04:16,146
that Carrie had not been to
with either Big or Samantha,
99
00:04:16,151 --> 00:04:17,983
so I don't wanna be difficult.
100
00:04:19,237 --> 00:04:20,989
Hm...
101
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:23,439
Okay, well, this has
been building for years,
102
00:04:23,444 --> 00:04:26,474
so I'm just gonna say it...
103
00:04:26,479 --> 00:04:29,055
You think I'm not part
of the "inner circle."
104
00:04:29,413 --> 00:04:30,603
That, that, that's right.
105
00:04:30,608 --> 00:04:33,736
My therapist thinks it's
because you're threatened
106
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,952
by my relationship with Carrie.
107
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:39,554
You've been talking about me in therapy?
108
00:04:39,559 --> 00:04:41,655
You've come up. Gimlet!
109
00:04:43,468 --> 00:04:45,738
Because all you have
to do is walk... Yeah...
110
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:47,546
- Jesus Christ.
- Okay,
111
00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:49,522
we're up to the last gift.
112
00:04:50,026 --> 00:04:52,578
"I hereby make a bequest in the amount
113
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,327
of one million dollars to..."
114
00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:56,827
Uh, Miranda?
115
00:04:58,355 --> 00:05:00,077
Do you wanna help me here?
116
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:03,888
Why? What's the, uh...
117
00:05:04,058 --> 00:05:06,101
Here it is. One million dollars to...
118
00:05:10,705 --> 00:05:12,724
What's all the drama?
What's the charity?
119
00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:21,710
_
120
00:05:23,485 --> 00:05:26,344
- Natasha?
- His ex-wife.
121
00:05:26,349 --> 00:05:28,643
- What is this?
- I knew nothing about it.
122
00:05:28,648 --> 00:05:31,050
In my experience, when people
have unfinished business,
123
00:05:31,055 --> 00:05:33,542
they tend to throw money
at it. Yes, I'm still here.
124
00:05:33,547 --> 00:05:35,930
Norman, get off the damned phone.
125
00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:40,793
I was doing well.
126
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:43,588
- Wasn't I doing well before this?
- Yes, you were.
127
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,506
- Remarkably well.
- I was very impressed.
128
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:48,134
I mean, I was doing the
podcast, I was washing my hair...
129
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,860
I mean, yes, I wasn't
eating or sleeping,
130
00:05:49,865 --> 00:05:51,721
but at least I felt
good about my marriage,
131
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,353
and now, I'm just one of the wives
132
00:05:54,358 --> 00:05:56,977
- he was taking care of.
- Ow!
133
00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:00,943
- Worst four-top ever.
- I had a much better table.
134
00:06:00,948 --> 00:06:02,279
- Let it go, Charlotte.
- All right, you know what,
135
00:06:02,283 --> 00:06:03,816
here, I-I'll switch seats with you.
136
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,194
I'm used to getting slammed from behind.
137
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,236
No, nobody is switching seats. Hi!
138
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,555
Uh, could you be more careful?
You keep hitting his seat.
139
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,080
- And can I get another Cabernet?
- And what is she doing
140
00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:14,568
- in his will?
- That's the million dollar question.
141
00:06:15,535 --> 00:06:18,953
Yeah, a million dollars. Hello?
142
00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:20,388
Everyone, calm down.
143
00:06:20,393 --> 00:06:24,247
After taxes, it's really only 450,000.
144
00:06:24,252 --> 00:06:26,170
Which is a shit-ton of money!
145
00:06:26,175 --> 00:06:28,798
On top of what I'm sure was a very
generous divorce settlement, right?
146
00:06:28,802 --> 00:06:30,053
All right, you know what,
it's not even about the money.
147
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,725
It really isn't.
I would be just as upset
148
00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:34,997
if I, if I found out that
he left her $10. But just...
149
00:06:35,406 --> 00:06:37,350
Why is she in there at all?
150
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,148
Well, he did destroy her life.
151
00:06:39,153 --> 00:06:40,853
He did not destroy her life.
152
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:43,569
- I saw her at Bergdorf pre-pandemic.
- How did she look?
153
00:06:43,574 --> 00:06:46,739
Like someone whose
life was not destroyed.
154
00:06:47,161 --> 00:06:50,029
Well, fuck her perfect,
not-destroyed life,
155
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,781
and her pre-tax million dollars.
156
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:52,897
Okay, first of all, no.
157
00:06:52,901 --> 00:06:54,816
We're not doing that. She
didn't do anything wrong.
158
00:06:54,820 --> 00:06:58,008
I'm the one who had the affair...
159
00:06:58,013 --> 00:07:00,583
- with her husband.
- He was with you first,
160
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,674
so really, she cheated on you
161
00:07:02,679 --> 00:07:04,085
before you cheated on her.
162
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,794
- God, you're a good friend.
- Seriously, where is my wine?
163
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:09,132
And why did he keep it a secret?
164
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,341
He didn't even tell Gloria,
and she knew his blood type.
165
00:07:12,346 --> 00:07:14,320
Do not let this eat you up!
166
00:07:14,325 --> 00:07:17,348
You and Big were
the happiest couple I know.
167
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,427
Sorry, no offense.
168
00:07:19,432 --> 00:07:20,475
- None taken.
- It's okay.
169
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,727
Oh yeah, well, thanks.
170
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:22,772
I thought we were good, too,
171
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,107
but then, why was he still thinking
172
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,380
about her after all this time?
173
00:07:26,385 --> 00:07:28,971
And what was their unfinished business?
174
00:07:30,322 --> 00:07:31,943
I just can't believe it.
175
00:07:34,089 --> 00:07:37,802
Big's gone and Natasha's back.
176
00:07:37,807 --> 00:07:40,052
Did you even know they were in touch?
177
00:07:40,745 --> 00:07:43,249
- Who said they were in touch?
- Or not...
178
00:07:43,503 --> 00:07:47,060
- Ow!
- You deserved that one.
179
00:08:44,736 --> 00:08:47,121
"Alexandra heaved a sigh of relief",
180
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,856
"pleased that things were going well
181
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,437
"with at least one of my parents.
182
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:53,908
"On the other hand, Mom
wasn't as easy a sell.
183
00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:55,246
"She fixed..." Ooh!
184
00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:57,657
Could you just scooch over
a little bit, baby girl?
185
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,043
- I'm fallin' off the bed here.
- Mm.
186
00:09:03,396 --> 00:09:05,387
I hate it when you call me that.
187
00:09:06,407 --> 00:09:09,192
Well, you are my baby,
188
00:09:09,197 --> 00:09:12,184
and you will always be my baby
no matter how big you get.
189
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:17,192
I'm not talking about the baby part.
190
00:09:19,078 --> 00:09:21,205
I'm talking about the girl part.
191
00:09:23,489 --> 00:09:24,981
What do you mean?
192
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,348
I don't feel like a girl.
193
00:09:33,851 --> 00:09:35,186
Oh...
194
00:09:36,464 --> 00:09:37,754
Well...
195
00:09:39,824 --> 00:09:42,324
Sometimes, I don't
feel like a girl either.
196
00:09:43,981 --> 00:09:47,715
Lily? Sometimes, you don't
feel like a girl, right?
197
00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:52,731
Well, I never feel like a girl.
198
00:09:52,736 --> 00:09:53,862
Ah!
199
00:09:53,867 --> 00:09:55,451
I'm fine!
200
00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:57,035
_
201
00:10:02,082 --> 00:10:04,879
- What's in this bowl here?
- Those are chia seeds.
202
00:10:04,884 --> 00:10:06,726
They're loaded with antioxidants.
203
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:10,683
- Oh. cool.
- Mom, is this all the malt balls left?
204
00:10:10,688 --> 00:10:12,317
Yes, use a scoop!
205
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:14,449
I don't know where
those hands have been.
206
00:10:14,624 --> 00:10:18,003
Is it a bad idea to let
them have sex in the house?
207
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:19,903
Why? Do you have a time machine?
208
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,132
You know, whole milk is
actually healthier than low-fat,
209
00:10:23,137 --> 00:10:25,124
especially for aging bones.
210
00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:28,520
- Excuse me?
- No offense!
211
00:10:28,771 --> 00:10:31,801
I mean, I'm aging, too.
212
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:34,676
Kinda the definition of being alive.
213
00:10:36,454 --> 00:10:38,665
Did we accidentally adopt her?
214
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,215
I don't know.
215
00:11:51,505 --> 00:11:53,989
_
216
00:12:20,675 --> 00:12:22,218
Oh!
217
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,653
Hello?
218
00:12:32,281 --> 00:12:34,293
Go to sleep.
219
00:13:13,408 --> 00:13:16,653
_
220
00:13:21,395 --> 00:13:22,963
Ma'am, we delivered two baguettes
221
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,129
and one sourdough loaf.
What's the problem?
222
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:27,713
What do you mean your
delivery boy wasn't hot?
223
00:13:27,718 --> 00:13:29,293
He was smokin' hot!
224
00:13:29,881 --> 00:13:32,215
And no, hot is not subjective.
225
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:34,387
You're either hot or
you're not. Thank you!
226
00:13:34,918 --> 00:13:36,871
Jesus, this city!
227
00:13:36,876 --> 00:13:38,961
This place is awesome, Uncle Anthony.
228
00:13:38,966 --> 00:13:41,199
Well, don't get too
attached. It's a rental.
229
00:13:41,204 --> 00:13:43,082
We have to be outta here at 5 o'clock.
230
00:13:43,087 --> 00:13:44,985
That's when the bitchy vegans take over.
231
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:50,032
Who would've thought all of this
came from one stinky
232
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,997
little sourdough
starter in your kitchen?
233
00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:54,282
Well, when they shut down
all the gyms during the COVID,
234
00:13:54,287 --> 00:13:56,766
I had to find a different kind
of handjob to keep me busy.
235
00:13:56,771 --> 00:13:58,555
What's a handjob?
236
00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:02,789
It's a job that you do with your
hands, like you're doing now!
237
00:14:03,399 --> 00:14:05,651
And speakin' of smelly, pee-ew.
238
00:14:06,048 --> 00:14:07,571
And I say this with love,
239
00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:09,661
less skateboard, more deodorant.
240
00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:11,384
Yes, I'm lookin' at you, little girl!
241
00:14:11,389 --> 00:14:13,222
Um, ahem, Anthony,
242
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:15,870
could you just come on out here,
243
00:14:15,875 --> 00:14:18,257
and just talk to me about
these different kitchens
244
00:14:18,262 --> 00:14:20,125
that are down the hall?
245
00:14:21,688 --> 00:14:24,302
Oh, come on. She knows I love her,
246
00:14:24,307 --> 00:14:25,892
and she needs to hear this stuff.
247
00:14:25,897 --> 00:14:27,750
It's not about that.
248
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,202
Last night, Rose told me
249
00:14:30,207 --> 00:14:33,282
that she does not wanna
be called a girl anymore.
250
00:14:33,617 --> 00:14:35,743
Doesn't feel like a girl.
251
00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:38,784
Uh-huh. She's a kid. Ignore it.
252
00:14:38,789 --> 00:14:40,499
I'm her mother, I can't ignore it.
253
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,715
- Says who?
- Everyone.
254
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,055
Well, fuck everyone!
255
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:45,963
When she was six, she
told you she was a dog.
256
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,532
Is she a dog now? No.
257
00:14:47,537 --> 00:14:49,289
But I can't just ignore this.
258
00:14:49,294 --> 00:14:52,461
And when she was six, I
put down a bowl of water
259
00:14:52,466 --> 00:14:54,051
on the floor for a week.
260
00:14:54,056 --> 00:14:55,430
You're too indulgent.
261
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:57,169
So...
262
00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:01,339
you don't think that this is something?
263
00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:02,521
Well, who knows?
264
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,274
When I was little, I
wanted to be Tinkerbell.
265
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,113
Did my mother cut holes
in my school blazer
266
00:15:06,118 --> 00:15:07,508
for my wings? No.
267
00:15:07,513 --> 00:15:09,344
- But maybe she should have.
- And what?
268
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:11,032
I would've grown up to be a fairy?
269
00:15:11,454 --> 00:15:13,365
Don't answer that. It's too easy.
270
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:16,899
But I'm just confused
about how to handle this,
271
00:15:16,904 --> 00:15:18,816
and I wanna do the right thing.
272
00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:22,620
And you will, when
and if the time comes,
273
00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:25,696
and I will be there with you
and Rose every step of the way.
274
00:15:25,962 --> 00:15:28,172
But right now, she's just
a little sourdough starter.
275
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,054
Who knows what she's gonna grow into?
276
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:33,680
So relax... and get her some deodorant.
277
00:15:35,671 --> 00:15:39,625
Nope... Saw it... Crap...
278
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:41,602
Get outta here...
279
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,907
- Okay!
- Huh?
280
00:15:42,912 --> 00:15:45,074
Um, I'm almost ready.
281
00:15:45,079 --> 00:15:47,941
Uh, do you want the frozen
blueberries and the chia seeds,
282
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,073
or are you off those now?
283
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,738
Chia seeds are bullshit.
284
00:15:50,743 --> 00:15:52,905
I had one stuck in my teeth all day.
285
00:15:53,087 --> 00:15:55,616
- So, what are we watchin'?
- Um...
286
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,784
I was thinking maybe that Danish show
287
00:15:57,789 --> 00:16:00,567
that everyone says is
confusing but worth it.
288
00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:07,252
Hi. Everything okay?
289
00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,833
Did you know Big had a dog named Gogie?
290
00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:11,590
I did not. Why?
291
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:14,445
It's the prelude to
why I went crazy today.
292
00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:16,656
I'm gonna need some context.
293
00:16:16,661 --> 00:16:18,718
Well, I was going through his stuff,
294
00:16:18,723 --> 00:16:21,863
and the single photo
I found in his wallet
295
00:16:21,868 --> 00:16:24,853
is of a dog he never even mentioned.
296
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:27,582
Oh! And a Pinkberry punch card.
297
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:31,944
Not once in my life did I see that man
298
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,996
eat a Pinkberry, or use a punch card,
299
00:16:35,001 --> 00:16:37,116
so what else don't I know?
300
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,331
- You sound a little wired.
- Oh, I am.
301
00:16:39,336 --> 00:16:42,621
I've been spiraling all
day about him and Natasha,
302
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,878
and I decided that the only way
303
00:16:44,883 --> 00:16:47,960
- to rid myself of this feeling...
- What feeling?
304
00:16:48,222 --> 00:16:50,003
That there was something
that I didn't know.
305
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,922
- So I decided...
- Mm-hm.
306
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:55,848
That the best way for
me to just move past this
307
00:16:55,853 --> 00:16:59,649
is to look Natasha in
the eye, and just...
308
00:16:59,654 --> 00:17:02,323
have a grown-up conversation.
309
00:17:02,414 --> 00:17:06,485
- So, I emailed her.
- Y... Wait, y-you, you did?
310
00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:08,451
Yep, I sure did, and it wasn't easy.
311
00:17:08,456 --> 00:17:10,482
The first email that I sent bounced back
312
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:13,512
because, apparently, she
took some highfalutin job
313
00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:15,426
at Mina Minetti, which is,
314
00:17:15,431 --> 00:17:18,287
if you can wrap your brain around this,
315
00:17:18,292 --> 00:17:21,921
a higher-end Brunello Cucinelli.
316
00:17:22,590 --> 00:17:24,285
These words mean nothing to me,
317
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:26,044
but now I want pasta.
318
00:17:26,206 --> 00:17:28,212
It's a cashmere company.
319
00:17:28,217 --> 00:17:31,173
The sixth stage of grief is stalking...
320
00:17:31,178 --> 00:17:33,446
just, you know, in
case you were curious.
321
00:17:33,451 --> 00:17:36,634
- That's good to know.
- So, I emailed her at, um...
322
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,682
I'll tell you exactly.
323
00:17:38,727 --> 00:17:41,337
At approximately...
324
00:17:41,501 --> 00:17:44,563
Yep. 1:40 today and nothing.
325
00:17:44,568 --> 00:17:47,613
Nothing. Not a word. What kind of person
326
00:17:47,618 --> 00:17:49,772
doesn't respond to a grieving wife?
327
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,279
A busy one. It's
only been a few hours.
328
00:17:52,284 --> 00:17:54,438
Carrie, did you get
any sleep at all last night?
329
00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:55,837
No, of course not.
330
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,048
He should've given her
the apartment, too...
331
00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:01,907
'cause I can't sleep
in here anymore.
332
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,636
It's haunted.
333
00:18:03,713 --> 00:18:05,548
Him, her.
334
00:18:05,553 --> 00:18:08,188
- Gogie.
- Pinkberry.
335
00:18:09,247 --> 00:18:12,711
Hello?! You comin'?
I'm about to be asleep.
336
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,714
Oh, wait a minute.
I just found her on Instagram.
337
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,704
Oh my god, okay, I'm gonna...
338
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:19,713
I'm gonna DM her in case
she didn't get my email.
339
00:18:19,718 --> 00:18:22,596
I say we give her another day.
I think it's, it's fine that you
340
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,645
- emailed her. I think...
- Too late, I just did it.
341
00:18:25,432 --> 00:18:28,524
Oh shit... Now I'm scared.
342
00:18:28,529 --> 00:18:32,602
Don't be scared. You, you
just lost your husband.
343
00:18:32,742 --> 00:18:35,953
She's a human being. She's
gonna respond with compassion.
344
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:39,759
You're right. What am I afraid of?
345
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,813
Big's dead. The worst that
can happen already happened.
346
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:50,688
Oh my God, she just
blocked me on Instagram!
347
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:53,464
Okay, she's a fucking bitch.
348
00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:57,972
Tried to do
this the dignified way.
349
00:18:57,977 --> 00:19:01,634
Said the woman hiding in
an SUV with tinted windows.
350
00:19:01,639 --> 00:19:03,410
Well, she left me no choice.
351
00:19:03,415 --> 00:19:06,387
She blocked me on Instagram, I
can't reach her through email.
352
00:19:06,392 --> 00:19:09,399
I need to somehow have
this conversation...
353
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,318
so I can put an end to the spiraling.
354
00:19:13,323 --> 00:19:15,366
I will put an end to the spiraling.
355
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,006
Big loved you. You were happy.
356
00:19:17,011 --> 00:19:20,243
- There is nothing you don't know.
- Oh really?
357
00:19:24,236 --> 00:19:26,384
- Who is that?
- Gogie.
358
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:30,004
Big's dog... Another
bitch I knew nothin' about.
359
00:19:30,009 --> 00:19:32,909
- Carrie, you're acting crazy.
- I sure hope so!
360
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,377
I really, really hope
361
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,207
that when I am sitting across from her,
362
00:19:37,212 --> 00:19:39,612
I feel insane for doing this.
363
00:19:39,617 --> 00:19:42,700
Okay, let's say they were in touch.
364
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:44,338
What's your worst fear?
365
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,416
Oh my God, I don't know where to begin.
366
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:51,607
That he regretted choosing me over her?
367
00:19:51,619 --> 00:19:52,995
He didn't.
368
00:19:53,619 --> 00:19:55,013
That she had an affair with him
369
00:19:55,018 --> 00:19:56,869
to get back at me for what I did.
370
00:19:56,874 --> 00:19:58,818
- She didn't!
- Charlotte, you can't tell me that.
371
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:01,010
Only one person can tell me that.
372
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:02,613
It's her!
373
00:20:09,963 --> 00:20:11,989
She's wearing flats.
374
00:20:11,994 --> 00:20:15,026
That is the most desperate
put-down I've ever heard.
375
00:20:25,877 --> 00:20:27,220
You're gonna be just fine.
376
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:28,264
We're gonna be at the Starbucks
377
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:30,260
- on the corner waiting for you.
- Okay.
378
00:20:30,265 --> 00:20:31,767
You look fantastic!
379
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,580
Oh, thanks. I've been
dressed since 5:03.
380
00:20:45,535 --> 00:20:49,080
- Hi.
- Hello. I'm here to see Natasha Mills.
381
00:20:49,085 --> 00:20:51,170
Carrie Bradshaw. Preston.
382
00:20:51,203 --> 00:20:54,474
- She knows me.
- Okay. Um, I will try her.
383
00:20:55,999 --> 00:20:57,709
You-you can just have a seat.
384
00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:59,213
Okay, thank you.
385
00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:30,687
I wonder what's keeping Carrie?
386
00:21:30,692 --> 00:21:33,153
I mean, how long could it
take to drag a lifeless Natasha
387
00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:34,721
into a service elevator?
388
00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:36,186
- What?
- I'm sorry.
389
00:21:36,191 --> 00:21:38,044
I'm watching too many streaming series.
390
00:21:39,344 --> 00:21:41,541
- You want a muffin?
- No, thanks.
391
00:21:41,546 --> 00:21:43,127
- Okay.
- My phone is about to die.
392
00:21:43,132 --> 00:21:44,620
You don't have a charger on you, do you?
393
00:21:44,624 --> 00:21:46,713
Oh yeah.
394
00:21:47,183 --> 00:21:48,940
- Somewhere in here.
- Okay.
395
00:21:56,541 --> 00:21:58,448
Hi. Can I get a blueberry muffin?
396
00:21:58,851 --> 00:21:59,851
Thank you.
397
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:03,791
- Here you are.
- Thanks so much.
398
00:22:10,049 --> 00:22:11,744
Thank you.
399
00:22:11,749 --> 00:22:15,346
- Okay... you're eating half of this.
- Okay.
400
00:22:15,894 --> 00:22:19,416
So, lotta textbooks in there.
401
00:22:19,653 --> 00:22:22,161
Is it stressful being a student again?
402
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:25,416
Now that I know everyone's pronouns, no.
403
00:22:25,621 --> 00:22:28,583
You-you and Steve, h-h-how are things?
404
00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:30,140
The same.
405
00:22:31,008 --> 00:22:33,047
You know, the other day at lunch,
406
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,514
when you said that Carrie and Big
407
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:36,192
were the happiest couple you know,
408
00:22:36,197 --> 00:22:39,013
I thought, are Steve and
I even a couple anymore?
409
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:42,067
I mean, no sex... for years.
410
00:22:42,072 --> 00:22:45,451
- Still, for years?
- Years!
411
00:22:45,587 --> 00:22:47,881
And I don't think either one
of us even thinks about it.
412
00:22:47,886 --> 00:22:51,099
The only thing that we're passionate
about is our dessert ritual.
413
00:22:51,575 --> 00:22:53,734
Are we a couple, or just roommates
414
00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,739
with ice cream and a kid?
415
00:22:55,944 --> 00:22:59,531
If we didn't have Brady, what
would we talk about? Chia seeds?
416
00:23:01,911 --> 00:23:03,286
Ms. Bradshaw?
417
00:23:04,234 --> 00:23:06,963
I'm Amber, Natasha's assistant.
So sorry to keep you waiting.
418
00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:08,927
I was just informed you were out here.
419
00:23:08,932 --> 00:23:11,536
Unfortunately, Natasha
is unavailable today.
420
00:23:11,541 --> 00:23:12,942
She's in Rome.
421
00:23:13,139 --> 00:23:14,786
Have a nice day.
422
00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:37,270
Uh-oh.
423
00:23:42,124 --> 00:23:43,500
- So how'd it go?
- What happened?
424
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,877
She's in "Rome."
425
00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:48,067
- Rome?
- She's what?
426
00:23:48,072 --> 00:23:51,216
How dare she? She's not in Rome!
427
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,716
She's in that building
right there, three floors up.
428
00:23:53,721 --> 00:23:55,802
One, two, three...
429
00:23:56,215 --> 00:23:58,056
Oh my God. It's her, it's her.
430
00:23:58,061 --> 00:23:59,891
Oh my god! Ah!
431
00:24:09,226 --> 00:24:10,602
Oh shit.
432
00:24:10,607 --> 00:24:12,523
- Sorry, sorry.
- Ow! My knees!
433
00:24:12,527 --> 00:24:14,888
Oh, this is why I gave up running.
434
00:24:15,267 --> 00:24:17,409
I was pointing at her.
435
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:20,120
This is so bad, it's almost funny.
436
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,669
No, not funny.
437
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,921
I have never been so humiliated,
438
00:24:24,926 --> 00:24:27,762
and I've been humiliated
a lot in front of that woman.
439
00:24:28,003 --> 00:24:31,372
She is the one who should
be humiliated, not you!
440
00:24:31,377 --> 00:24:33,208
You caught her in a lie.
441
00:24:34,186 --> 00:24:35,997
And she caught me in the truth.
442
00:24:37,429 --> 00:24:39,431
Oh... Oh...
443
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,731
- Carrie...
- Aw!
444
00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:50,231
Hi. What're you doing up so early?
445
00:24:50,236 --> 00:24:52,364
Oh, I'm in Central Park, walking.
446
00:24:52,369 --> 00:24:54,946
It's amazing what you learn about
our city when you don't sleep.
447
00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:58,234
For instance, were you aware
that thousands of people jog
448
00:24:58,239 --> 00:25:01,981
every morning at 6 AM,
and everyone has a dog.
449
00:25:01,986 --> 00:25:03,864
I did know that.
450
00:25:04,330 --> 00:25:06,624
So, you didn't sleep again?
451
00:25:06,629 --> 00:25:08,866
That's hilarious, sleep.
452
00:25:08,871 --> 00:25:13,348
Every time I closed my eyes,
I saw Natasha up on her throne,
453
00:25:13,353 --> 00:25:14,918
looking down at me.
454
00:25:15,824 --> 00:25:17,234
Harry!
455
00:25:17,239 --> 00:25:18,892
I'm on the phone here!
456
00:25:18,897 --> 00:25:21,370
This is the bathroom!
I think I have the right of way.
457
00:25:21,375 --> 00:25:23,975
No, no, I can let you go. I just
wanted to tell you about tonight.
458
00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:25,815
Um, Miranda's gonna
meet us at Che's taping,
459
00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:28,156
- so I'll pick you up at 8, okay?
- Got it.
460
00:25:28,161 --> 00:25:30,543
- Where ya headed now?
- Oh, who knows?
461
00:25:30,548 --> 00:25:33,134
Think I'll follow this
basset hound here...
462
00:25:33,139 --> 00:25:34,861
see where she takes me, hm!
463
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,576
Okay, bye. I love you.
464
00:25:39,362 --> 00:25:42,076
Still? You're still peeing?
465
00:25:42,081 --> 00:25:44,827
A lotta men my age can't
pull off a stream like this.
466
00:25:44,832 --> 00:25:46,456
Count your blessings.
467
00:25:51,294 --> 00:25:53,588
- Oh! Here I am!
- Hey!
468
00:25:54,623 --> 00:25:56,291
I see you.
469
00:25:56,296 --> 00:26:00,179
You're the only 55-year-old
sitting on the university steps.
470
00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:02,707
And now, there are two of us.
471
00:26:03,037 --> 00:26:05,725
You know, when I got
your text on the subway,
472
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:07,649
- I thought your phone had been hacked.
- Hm.
473
00:26:07,654 --> 00:26:10,871
You really walked all
this way? In those shoes?!
474
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:12,926
These are my sneakers.
475
00:26:13,629 --> 00:26:14,797
How much time do you have?
476
00:26:14,802 --> 00:26:16,695
Uh, for you, all the time in the world,
477
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,668
but I have class in 12 minutes,
so start talking.
478
00:26:19,759 --> 00:26:23,278
Okay, well, I guess the headline
is, "I can't stop walking."
479
00:26:23,442 --> 00:26:26,778
It's the only thing that
helps, and it's not helping.
480
00:26:27,509 --> 00:26:30,083
I guess all that moving around
is better than sitting still,
481
00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:33,809
and feeling... whatever it
is you're not wanting to feel.
482
00:26:33,814 --> 00:26:36,525
- And what would that be?
- You tell me.
483
00:26:41,644 --> 00:26:43,771
I'm really mad at Big.
484
00:26:45,866 --> 00:26:49,227
I almost forgot how I used
to feel all those years ago.
485
00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:52,754
You know, so nervous, and
insecure, and desperate.
486
00:26:54,391 --> 00:26:57,227
You know, like what
we had wasn't enough.
487
00:26:57,332 --> 00:26:59,473
Like I wasn't enough.
488
00:27:01,478 --> 00:27:04,409
And I just hate that
after all the good years,
489
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:05,957
this is what I'm left with.
490
00:27:09,867 --> 00:27:12,246
He ruined our happy sad ending.
491
00:27:16,588 --> 00:27:19,507
- Thank you.
- For what?
492
00:27:19,842 --> 00:27:23,098
For not arguing with me,
trying to make me feel better.
493
00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:25,472
Me? Argue?
494
00:27:26,090 --> 00:27:28,438
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
495
00:27:31,378 --> 00:27:33,778
Go, go. Go.
496
00:27:33,783 --> 00:27:35,715
Go, go, go. Go.
497
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,856
Hey! I just stopped by
your place. Where are you?
498
00:27:38,861 --> 00:27:42,614
Oh, still walking. I'm
now in a very exotic place
499
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:45,129
called the Upper West Side.
500
00:27:45,275 --> 00:27:48,453
82nd and Amsterdam, but
unlike the other Amsterdam,
501
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,460
no tulips or wooden shoes.
502
00:27:50,465 --> 00:27:53,124
Still walking? I am worried about you.
503
00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:55,621
Well, you should be. I'm a mess.
504
00:27:55,973 --> 00:27:57,961
- You're not a mess, Carrie.
- Charlotte, Charlotte.
505
00:27:57,965 --> 00:28:00,473
You have to let me say I'm a mess.
506
00:28:01,025 --> 00:28:04,028
- Okay.
- I mean, I appreciate it, I do,
507
00:28:04,033 --> 00:28:06,098
but nobody can make me feel better.
508
00:28:07,043 --> 00:28:08,765
I have to get there myself,
509
00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:11,202
which is gonna take a
hell of a lot more walking,
510
00:28:11,207 --> 00:28:12,607
but first, I have to pee.
511
00:28:12,612 --> 00:28:14,349
So, I'm gonna go in
this little shop here,
512
00:28:14,354 --> 00:28:16,106
and I'm gonna buy a coffee,
513
00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:18,363
so I can use their bathroom,
and not feel bad.
514
00:28:18,368 --> 00:28:20,601
Oh, and then, I'm
gonna have to pee again
515
00:28:20,606 --> 00:28:22,534
- in Chelsea.
- Got it.
516
00:28:22,539 --> 00:28:26,241
- It's a vicious cycle.
- I understand. I love you.
517
00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:30,137
Mr. Burton, come!
Come, come, come, come!
518
00:28:34,768 --> 00:28:36,770
- Someone's in here!
- Oh my God! Sor...
519
00:28:36,775 --> 00:28:39,045
- Ah!
- Oh my god!
520
00:28:41,203 --> 00:28:43,455
Ouch!
521
00:28:54,948 --> 00:28:58,015
At a coffee shop? At my job?
522
00:28:58,020 --> 00:28:59,630
Where are you gonna hunt
me down next, Carrie?
523
00:28:59,634 --> 00:29:01,293
In the showers at Equinox?
524
00:29:01,298 --> 00:29:03,884
I swear, this was a total coincidence.
525
00:29:03,889 --> 00:29:07,137
I never imagined in a million
years you'd be all the way up here.
526
00:29:07,142 --> 00:29:08,957
This isn't even your neighborhood.
527
00:29:12,318 --> 00:29:14,234
Yes, I also know where you live.
528
00:29:14,239 --> 00:29:15,462
What do you want from me?
529
00:29:15,467 --> 00:29:17,621
What the fuck do you want from me?!
530
00:29:20,090 --> 00:29:21,552
Um...
531
00:29:22,583 --> 00:29:24,684
I'm not really sure anymore.
532
00:29:26,133 --> 00:29:27,726
But since you're here,
533
00:29:27,731 --> 00:29:30,508
do you think maybe we could
just talk, just for a minute?
534
00:29:30,513 --> 00:29:31,723
I don't have a minute.
535
00:29:32,106 --> 00:29:33,892
No, I am not doing this.
536
00:29:33,897 --> 00:29:35,815
I cannot think about you anymore!
537
00:29:35,820 --> 00:29:37,696
I am done thinking about you!
538
00:29:37,701 --> 00:29:41,114
I've already given you more minutes
of my life than you ever deserved!
539
00:29:41,868 --> 00:29:43,817
Yes, you have. I agree.
540
00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:52,582
That...
541
00:29:53,751 --> 00:29:55,085
The burn looks bad.
542
00:29:55,090 --> 00:29:56,294
No, it's fine.
543
00:29:56,299 --> 00:29:58,692
It doesn't look fine. You should ice it.
544
00:29:58,697 --> 00:30:00,403
I'm fine, I'm fine.
545
00:30:09,727 --> 00:30:11,395
My son has...
546
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,903
low blood sugar, so I
have to make sure I...
547
00:30:13,908 --> 00:30:16,434
carry something around
with me at all times.
548
00:30:17,743 --> 00:30:19,918
- You have a son?
- Mm.
549
00:30:21,090 --> 00:30:23,184
Two, actually.
550
00:30:23,189 --> 00:30:25,715
Just dropped them at
Trinity, right up here.
551
00:30:26,877 --> 00:30:29,004
But you already know that, don't you?
552
00:30:30,109 --> 00:30:31,949
Actually, I didn't.
553
00:30:36,519 --> 00:30:37,965
Thank you.
554
00:30:45,095 --> 00:30:46,931
If this is about the will...
555
00:30:47,668 --> 00:30:50,343
I've already told my
lawyers I will not accept it.
556
00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:51,895
Give it to charity.
557
00:30:53,387 --> 00:30:55,473
Why did he leave it to me anyway?
558
00:30:55,478 --> 00:30:57,864
I haven't spoken to
him since the divorce.
559
00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:01,457
So, neither of us knows?
560
00:31:01,963 --> 00:31:04,793
'Cause I just found
out at the will reading.
561
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,781
Oh...
562
00:31:07,826 --> 00:31:10,949
Well, that must've been... hard.
563
00:31:14,573 --> 00:31:17,492
Classic John. Just always a puzzle.
564
00:31:18,209 --> 00:31:19,812
At least with me.
565
00:31:21,249 --> 00:31:23,543
I'll never understand
why he ever married me
566
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,425
when he was always in love with you.
567
00:31:29,801 --> 00:31:31,177
How's the burn?
568
00:31:31,472 --> 00:31:33,771
It's... It's better.
569
00:31:34,113 --> 00:31:37,365
Well, I am late, so I should go.
570
00:31:43,195 --> 00:31:45,322
I really am sorry for your loss.
571
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,583
Thank you for that...
572
00:31:48,327 --> 00:31:49,895
and for the ice.
573
00:31:51,146 --> 00:31:53,591
And for whatever it's worth,
574
00:31:54,787 --> 00:31:57,243
I think the money was his way
575
00:31:57,248 --> 00:31:59,965
of saying that he was sorry.
576
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,892
You know, he was a finance guy.
577
00:32:04,450 --> 00:32:05,493
He's not...
578
00:32:06,228 --> 00:32:08,326
Wasn't great with words.
579
00:32:09,787 --> 00:32:11,091
Agreed.
580
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,472
And I'm sorry as well.
581
00:32:19,167 --> 00:32:21,287
Oh God, for everything.
582
00:32:24,908 --> 00:32:26,685
I appreciate that...
583
00:32:28,857 --> 00:32:31,693
but we're okay. It's all in the past.
584
00:32:33,479 --> 00:32:36,106
But, maybe, we shouldn't
585
00:32:36,111 --> 00:32:38,412
follow each other on Instagram.
586
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:41,779
100%. Totally agree.
587
00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:16,967
Ohh, yeah, so...
588
00:33:16,972 --> 00:33:18,724
I've dated a lot in my life.
589
00:33:18,729 --> 00:33:21,357
I've dated men...
590
00:33:21,405 --> 00:33:24,678
I've dated women...
591
00:33:26,011 --> 00:33:27,696
I've dated...
592
00:33:27,701 --> 00:33:29,179
men who actually know
how to please a woman.
593
00:33:29,183 --> 00:33:31,226
- He was nice.
- Woo!
594
00:33:31,231 --> 00:33:33,664
Umm, I've dated...
595
00:33:33,669 --> 00:33:36,300
pretty much everyone in
here. Cheer if I fucked you.
596
00:33:39,362 --> 00:33:41,412
Cheer if you fucked me.
597
00:33:42,552 --> 00:33:45,059
Oh... cheer if you want me to fuck you.
598
00:33:48,161 --> 00:33:49,860
When you said VIP seats,
599
00:33:49,865 --> 00:33:52,420
I assumed there'd actually be seats.
600
00:33:52,425 --> 00:33:54,861
You know, a lot of people
have no idea how to process
601
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,618
gender individuality,
and that is because
602
00:33:57,623 --> 00:34:00,250
every time we are represented
in mainstream media,
603
00:34:00,255 --> 00:34:03,466
we have to be from some
other galaxy... right?
604
00:34:03,471 --> 00:34:05,515
Or like some super skinny model.
605
00:34:05,749 --> 00:34:07,868
Or like, uh, an ethereal magical elf
606
00:34:07,873 --> 00:34:10,193
with an ethereal magical
elf septum nose ring.
607
00:34:11,565 --> 00:34:12,941
Oh, and check it out!
608
00:34:12,946 --> 00:34:14,614
When we are earthbound,
609
00:34:14,619 --> 00:34:17,163
we are always at a murder scene...
610
00:34:17,286 --> 00:34:19,014
never at a birthday party.
611
00:34:19,750 --> 00:34:21,126
Oh, and...
612
00:34:21,131 --> 00:34:23,264
there's always only one of us.
613
00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:25,185
Never with a friend.
614
00:34:25,190 --> 00:34:27,848
Just one sad nonbinary character,
615
00:34:27,853 --> 00:34:29,607
or just one sad...
616
00:34:29,612 --> 00:34:31,947
trans character just wandering.
617
00:34:31,952 --> 00:34:34,592
"I'm so sad and alone."
618
00:34:34,597 --> 00:34:36,350
"I'm so sad..." Look...
619
00:34:36,355 --> 00:34:38,488
It's okay to be sad
and alone, all right?
620
00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:39,786
There's plenty to be sad about,
621
00:34:39,791 --> 00:34:41,835
but I have got news
for those motherfuckers,
622
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,345
I'm not always sad!
623
00:34:45,374 --> 00:34:47,534
I laugh. I laugh all the fuckin' time.
624
00:34:50,612 --> 00:34:52,998
And I'm not always alone.
625
00:34:53,003 --> 00:34:54,588
I have community, I have allies,
626
00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:56,170
I have friends...
627
00:34:58,611 --> 00:35:02,670
Listen, put our real asses
on TV, okay? All right?
628
00:35:03,126 --> 00:35:05,962
We are gonna smell like
pot when we get home.
629
00:35:05,967 --> 00:35:07,971
How am I gonna explain this to my kids?
630
00:35:07,976 --> 00:35:09,811
How am I gonna explain
this to my doorman?
631
00:35:09,816 --> 00:35:12,193
- You're missing it!
- I think the world can handle it.
632
00:35:12,198 --> 00:35:14,435
And I know this because
my own family handled it.
633
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,974
Half-Mexican, half-Irish, all Catholic.
634
00:35:17,143 --> 00:35:20,653
That is... That is
a lotta rice and beads.
635
00:35:24,568 --> 00:35:26,661
The Thanksgiving I
came out to my family,
636
00:35:26,666 --> 00:35:28,935
I stood up in the living
room, and I was like...
637
00:35:30,419 --> 00:35:31,462
"Family..."
638
00:35:32,233 --> 00:35:33,776
"I love you!"
639
00:35:34,802 --> 00:35:38,255
"And I just want you to know..."
640
00:35:39,895 --> 00:35:41,505
"that I am queer...
641
00:35:42,286 --> 00:35:43,788
"and nonbinary...
642
00:35:44,641 --> 00:35:46,028
and bisexual."
643
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:51,760
And they were like,
644
00:35:51,765 --> 00:35:53,885
"That's nice. Can you move?
You're blocking the game."
645
00:35:54,958 --> 00:35:57,122
Yay! Move.
646
00:35:57,127 --> 00:35:58,651
And I was like, "Oh shit!"
647
00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:01,107
"Oh shit! That's it?!
648
00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:03,536
I set aside four hours
for this, but okay."
649
00:36:04,392 --> 00:36:05,632
"Alright."
650
00:36:07,977 --> 00:36:10,897
Seriously, I fuckin' lucked
out with my family, dudes.
651
00:36:11,247 --> 00:36:13,750
My family fuckin' loves me!
652
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:16,257
Loves me!
653
00:36:16,262 --> 00:36:18,641
My family is all love
and all acceptance,
654
00:36:18,646 --> 00:36:20,484
just don't block the fucking game.
655
00:36:22,549 --> 00:36:24,968
And just because my family loves me...
656
00:36:25,156 --> 00:36:28,833
does not mean that
they're not confused, okay?
657
00:36:29,667 --> 00:36:31,773
I am like an episode
of "Unsolved Mysteries."
658
00:36:31,778 --> 00:36:33,044
They're so confused.
659
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,096
Okay? Yeah.
660
00:36:36,289 --> 00:36:38,750
I don't know, I think
we all are these days.
661
00:36:38,755 --> 00:36:41,319
You know? It's like,
"Oh, he, she, they, them.
662
00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:43,188
Ooh, please tell me which box to check!"
663
00:36:44,599 --> 00:36:46,399
But you know what I say?
664
00:36:46,988 --> 00:36:50,544
I say better to be
confused than to be sure.
665
00:36:50,549 --> 00:36:52,593
Because... Right?
666
00:36:52,843 --> 00:36:54,332
Right?
667
00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:57,548
Because when you're sure,
then nothin' can change.
668
00:36:57,553 --> 00:36:59,320
And we all have somethin'
we need to change.
669
00:36:59,325 --> 00:37:01,632
I mean, some of us have something
we really need to change,
670
00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,052
and so, change! Do it!
671
00:37:03,057 --> 00:37:04,475
Change it!
672
00:37:05,192 --> 00:37:06,911
Change that shit up!
673
00:37:06,919 --> 00:37:08,299
You're not happy with who you are?
674
00:37:08,304 --> 00:37:10,181
Step outta that box and change it!
675
00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:11,604
Change!
676
00:37:11,609 --> 00:37:13,648
Change your address, change your job,
677
00:37:13,653 --> 00:37:15,388
change your, change your mind.
678
00:37:15,393 --> 00:37:16,936
Change your gender.
679
00:37:16,941 --> 00:37:18,700
Change your shirt.
680
00:37:19,729 --> 00:37:21,040
No, really, man. Change your shirt.
681
00:37:21,044 --> 00:37:23,021
Banana Republic hasn't sold that shirt
682
00:37:23,026 --> 00:37:25,177
in like five years.
683
00:37:26,256 --> 00:37:28,107
So, I just wanna say
684
00:37:28,112 --> 00:37:31,841
to all those people out
there who are so fuckin' sure,
685
00:37:32,085 --> 00:37:33,544
all those people who make TV,
686
00:37:33,549 --> 00:37:36,126
and who write for
newspapers and magazines,
687
00:37:36,131 --> 00:37:38,471
and who run news shows,
688
00:37:38,476 --> 00:37:41,420
and everyone who wants
us to be alone and sad?
689
00:37:42,175 --> 00:37:44,810
I just wanna say, suck my dick.
690
00:37:49,337 --> 00:37:50,588
Actually, I don't have a dick.
691
00:37:50,593 --> 00:37:52,802
If I did, I would've had
this special five years ago.
692
00:37:53,135 --> 00:37:55,591
Good night, America!
693
00:37:57,655 --> 00:38:00,074
♪ Baby, I am America ♪
694
00:38:00,079 --> 00:38:03,859
♪ I'm a stranger just like you ♪
695
00:38:03,864 --> 00:38:05,277
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
696
00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:08,072
♪ Baby, I am America ♪
697
00:38:08,077 --> 00:38:11,745
♪ You been beggin' for the truth ♪
698
00:38:11,750 --> 00:38:14,670
Wow... Wow!
699
00:38:14,996 --> 00:38:16,414
- It's good, right?
- Ah!
700
00:38:16,419 --> 00:38:18,122
I just, uh, I have to go backstage,
701
00:38:18,127 --> 00:38:19,768
say a quick hi, and then we can go.
702
00:38:19,773 --> 00:38:21,650
But we... Wh-wh-what
about the after party?
703
00:38:21,655 --> 00:38:23,362
We have the VIP bracelets.
704
00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:24,534
Yeah, no.
705
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,096
♪ Crystal clear ♪
706
00:38:28,655 --> 00:38:30,776
It says Hector is approaching.
707
00:38:30,781 --> 00:38:32,424
Hi, Rose, honey.
708
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,149
I just wanted to hear your voice...
709
00:38:36,295 --> 00:38:39,338
and make sure that you
know how much I love you.
710
00:38:40,494 --> 00:38:42,385
No, that's it.
711
00:38:43,111 --> 00:38:45,693
Yes, you can go back to your Mario Kart.
712
00:38:45,698 --> 00:38:47,613
- Yep, this is us, Charlotte.
- Okay. Bye, sweetie.
713
00:38:47,617 --> 00:38:50,448
Hi! Yep. You sure? You're okay?
714
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,700
- You don't want us to wait with you?
- Totally!
715
00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:53,497
My car is gonna be here in two minutes.
716
00:38:53,502 --> 00:38:55,295
- Okay.
- Get home safe.
717
00:38:55,950 --> 00:38:58,120
Thanks again. So much fun.
718
00:38:58,125 --> 00:38:59,169
- Woo!
- Love you.
719
00:38:59,174 --> 00:39:00,333
- Thank you for coming.
- I love it.
720
00:39:00,337 --> 00:39:01,337
- Love you, too.
- Hello!
721
00:39:01,342 --> 00:39:02,918
Hector, you really brought it.
722
00:39:02,923 --> 00:39:05,450
I did not order this big car.
723
00:39:17,610 --> 00:39:20,940
Whoo! I love my life!
724
00:39:20,945 --> 00:39:22,610
Come on, you guys!
725
00:39:24,497 --> 00:39:30,573
♪ Yeah, you got to hold on ♪
726
00:39:35,222 --> 00:39:37,666
♪ Yeah, you got to wait ♪
727
00:39:40,344 --> 00:39:42,513
♪ Yeah, you got to wait ♪
728
00:39:46,345 --> 00:39:48,263
Rambo!
729
00:39:48,510 --> 00:39:49,883
Carrie said that you
were all heading home.
730
00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:51,294
Well, I was,
731
00:39:51,299 --> 00:39:52,973
but I kept hearing your voice in my head
732
00:39:52,978 --> 00:39:54,512
saying, "Change."
733
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,885
I am just like this little robot
734
00:39:56,890 --> 00:39:58,815
going to my house every night.
735
00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:02,323
Eh, would it kill me to
mix things up a little bit?
736
00:40:02,983 --> 00:40:05,096
What you said is so true, though.
737
00:40:05,101 --> 00:40:06,940
Change is hard.
738
00:40:06,945 --> 00:40:08,612
Bodies at rest remain at rest.
739
00:40:08,617 --> 00:40:10,319
Bodies in motion remain in motion.
740
00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:11,737
You're totally right!
741
00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:13,984
Yeah, I definitely
didn't say that last part.
742
00:40:13,989 --> 00:40:17,201
No, no! That's, uh, um,
Sir Isaac Newton.
743
00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:18,958
It's on the side of
one of my water bottles.
744
00:40:18,963 --> 00:40:21,758
You were so amazing up there.
745
00:40:21,763 --> 00:40:24,858
Amazing! You are like a comedy prophet.
746
00:40:24,863 --> 00:40:26,252
Oh shit.
747
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:27,620
Okay, do me a favor.
748
00:40:28,086 --> 00:40:29,850
Stop talking...
749
00:40:29,855 --> 00:40:31,440
and just breathe.
750
00:40:32,042 --> 00:40:33,188
Okay.
751
00:40:33,893 --> 00:40:35,427
But could I just say one more thing?
752
00:40:35,432 --> 00:40:37,112
I think you could use some weed.
753
00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:39,745
Oh, wow, no. I don't, I don't think so.
754
00:40:39,750 --> 00:40:41,209
I w... I was never good at that.
755
00:40:41,214 --> 00:40:43,654
And things that I'm not good
at, I, I tend to abandon.
756
00:40:43,659 --> 00:40:45,237
Mm...
757
00:40:45,242 --> 00:40:46,905
Do you mind if I shotgun you?
758
00:40:47,950 --> 00:40:50,661
Is that where you blow the...
759
00:40:52,812 --> 00:40:54,206
Okay.
760
00:41:23,972 --> 00:41:26,600
- How was that for you?
- Perfect.
761
00:41:26,637 --> 00:41:29,924
Loud. Giant pause
button on current events.
762
00:41:30,417 --> 00:41:31,932
I'm glad.
763
00:41:34,230 --> 00:41:37,316
Could I talk to you about
something that's been on my mind?
764
00:41:37,534 --> 00:41:39,854
Um, yes, I think so.
765
00:41:40,916 --> 00:41:43,746
It's about Miranda and her drinking.
766
00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,378
I'm... I know she has a lot going on,
767
00:41:46,383 --> 00:41:48,969
but... I think she has a problem.
768
00:41:49,131 --> 00:41:50,498
God, really?
769
00:41:51,174 --> 00:41:53,177
I mean, aren't we all
just drinking too much
770
00:41:53,182 --> 00:41:55,295
'cause there's a lot
to drink about lately.
771
00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:58,219
In fact, if we're gonna have this
conversation, I'm gonna need a drink.
772
00:41:58,224 --> 00:42:00,237
This is different.
773
00:42:00,242 --> 00:42:06,123
Yesterday, I found three tiny Tito's
bottles in her backpack, empty.
774
00:42:06,136 --> 00:42:09,139
Three tiny Tito's
bottles. That is weird.
775
00:42:09,144 --> 00:42:11,720
Well, maybe, she was having
a tiny party in her backpack.
776
00:42:11,725 --> 00:42:14,071
And, tonight, before the show
777
00:42:14,076 --> 00:42:16,200
I noticed she had two glasses of wine.
778
00:42:16,298 --> 00:42:19,218
Okay, could you stop noticing things.
779
00:42:25,782 --> 00:42:27,169
This is good.
780
00:42:28,752 --> 00:42:30,154
Thank you.
781
00:42:45,552 --> 00:42:48,818
Mrs. Preston... Are you coming in?
782
00:42:51,412 --> 00:42:54,263
Actually, Joe, I think I'm
gonna take a little walk.
783
00:42:54,502 --> 00:42:55,794
Very good, ma'am.
784
00:43:20,322 --> 00:43:22,287
And just like that...
785
00:43:23,021 --> 00:43:25,315
I walked myself home.
786
00:43:27,646 --> 00:43:29,646
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
57610
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