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[theme music]
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00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:08,051
- Eastman Kodak Company
is happy to bring you
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00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:11,272
America's favorite
family, the Nelsons:
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00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:19,106
Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.
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00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:20,759
They like to go places.
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00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:23,458
And like most of us, they
enjoy their good times over
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00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:26,417
again in pictures.
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00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:29,768
Of course, there's no better
time for exciting pictures
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00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,596
than your vacation.
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00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:33,859
Be sure your camera
is close at hand.
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00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:38,125
Because you never know when
the best shots will come along.
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00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:41,258
Let some of your pictures
identify the places you went
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00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:43,217
and the things you saw.
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00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:47,960
Let others tell a story, set
the scene, show what happens,
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00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,093
and then how you enjoyed it.
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00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:52,661
Remember that with
new Kodacolor film,
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00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:56,491
every snapshot camera can take
beautiful color pictures too.
18
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,667
And for all your
vacation pictures,
19
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:01,974
you can count on dependable
Kodak film, the film
20
00:01:02,105 --> 00:01:03,976
in the familiar yellow box.
21
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:08,590
And now, Kodak invites you
to enjoy "The Adventures
22
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,288
of Ozzie and Harriet."
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[music playing]
24
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[doorbell ringing]
25
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,780
- Harriet, it's somebody
at the front door.
26
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,912
- Well, I'm putting the
dishes in the dishwasher.
27
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:29,263
David, would you get the door?
28
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,091
- I'm emptying the
wastebaskets, Mom.
29
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,570
Ricky!
- What do you want?
30
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:33,658
- Answer the door.
31
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:34,659
- I can't.
32
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,096
I'm in the shower.
33
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,141
Hey, David, get me
a towel, will you?
34
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,751
- I'm busy.
Hey, Mom.
35
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,013
Ricky needs a towel.
36
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,319
- Well, I'm way
down in the kitchen.
37
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,016
Ozzie!
- What do you want?
38
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,322
- Would you get Ricky a towel?
39
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:46,584
- Well, I'm busy.
40
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:50,022
- Never mind, I'll
use the bath mat.
41
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,589
- Would you mind
answering the door?
42
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,330
- I'm emptying the wastebaskets.
43
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,027
- I'm answering it now.
44
00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:56,464
Yes, sir.
Did you ring?
45
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:57,682
- Yes, I did.
46
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,249
I have a package
here for Mr. Darby.
47
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,338
- Oh, well, the Darbys live
right across the street.
48
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:02,948
- Yes, I know.
They're not home.
49
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,385
- Who is it?
50
00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,169
- Oh, it's a man with a
package for the Darbys.
51
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,257
- Well, they live
across the street.
52
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,345
- Well, yes.
He knows that.
53
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:09,390
- Well, they're not home.
54
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,782
- He knows that, too.
55
00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:12,349
- I wish you people
would stop discussing me
56
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,611
as if I weren't here.
57
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,526
- Oh.
58
00:02:15,657 --> 00:02:16,614
Oh, I'm very sorry.
59
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,138
- That's all right.
60
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,400
Would you mind taking this
package for Mr. Darby?
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00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:20,792
- I'd be glad to.
62
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:21,489
He happens to be a very
good friend of mine.
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00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,664
- Fine.
COD.
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00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:23,839
- COD.
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00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:24,796
How much is it?
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00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:26,755
- $10.92.
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00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:29,975
- Well, I tell you, he'll
be home about 5 o'clock.
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00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:32,630
- So will I, I hope.
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00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,066
- Dear, pay the man.
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00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:36,330
- Well, Harriet,
evidently, you've
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00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,462
never heard of the
old COD racket.
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00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:41,248
- Oh, brother.
73
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,206
- I saw it on television
just the other night.
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00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,817
A man comes to your door dressed
like a bona fide messenger,
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00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,733
and he has a COD package for
somebody in the neighborhood.
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00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,779
And the person
supposedly isn't home,
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00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:53,173
so you pay for the package,
and it turns out later
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00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:54,870
that the people never
ordered anything,
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00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,786
and the package is filled with
old newspapers or something.
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00:02:57,916 --> 00:03:00,963
Not that I'm suggesting this is
the case here, you understand?
81
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:03,835
- Then what's the
big hassle all about?
82
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,533
- Oh, hi, Mr. Henderson.
83
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,056
- Oh, hi there, Ricky.
84
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,362
- Say, could you ask
Charlie to bring my notebook
85
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:09,363
to school, Monday?
86
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,538
- Yeah, sure thing, Rick.
87
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:14,411
- Oh, I didn't realize--
88
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,326
How much is this, please?
- $10.92.
89
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:17,762
- Uh, $10.92.
- Hi, Mr. Henderson.
90
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,460
- Hi, David.
- Hi, uh, David--
91
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:20,896
yes.
92
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:25,117
Uh, Harriet, do you
have any money with you?
93
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,641
- So that's what
this is all about.
94
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:29,557
Why didn't you say so
in the first place?
95
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:30,558
Here you are.
96
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:31,733
- Thank you.
97
00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,082
- This is my house
money, though.
98
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,649
Remember, I want it all back.
99
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:37,391
- Uh, 10, 10.92.
100
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:38,870
Got the exact change
there for you.
101
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,221
- Thank you, Mrs. Nelson.
102
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,483
- Bye, Mr. Anderson.
103
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:43,484
- Pop?
104
00:03:43,614 --> 00:03:44,528
- Yeah?
105
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,095
- What's all this mess in here?
106
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,663
- Oh, well, I'm
mixing some tobacco.
107
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,447
- What for?
108
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,797
- Well, I can't seem to get
any more of that Queen's Taste.
109
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,756
They're not sending it
over from England lately.
110
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:55,800
- That's too bad.
111
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:56,932
It always smells so good.
112
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,629
- Yeah.
113
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,284
I think I have duplicated
it pretty well here, though.
114
00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:03,155
Dave, would you smoke
a little of that
115
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:06,855
so I can judge the aroma?
116
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:10,380
I had the pipe all filled
when the man came to the door.
117
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,392
[cough]
118
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,480
What do you think, Dave?
119
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:28,790
- Well, it's a
little bitter, Pop.
120
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,574
[coughing]
121
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:34,317
- Smells like an old
blacksmith's apron.
122
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:35,536
- I think I know
what it is, Pop.
123
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:36,754
- Yeah, what?
124
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,060
- You put in too
many cabbage leaves.
125
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:41,629
- Thanks a lot.
126
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,374
- Dave, have you seen my pipe?
127
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,375
- Oh, yes, sir.
128
00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:49,376
It's right here.
129
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,073
- Oh, thanks.
130
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:52,814
- Boy, I sure wish I could
get some more of that Queen's
131
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,337
Taste.
132
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:55,251
- Do you want to try
some of your new tobacco?
133
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,383
- I'll get it for you, Pop.
134
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,993
- Oh, thanks, Rick.
135
00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:59,560
- You want me to fill your pipe?
136
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:00,778
- Oh, no thanks, son.
137
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:01,823
I'll do it.
138
00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:02,867
- I'll get your match.
139
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:05,522
- Boy, this is real service.
140
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:06,523
- Here you are, Pop.
141
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:07,785
- Oh, thank you.
142
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,309
- Why don't you
scratch it on my pants?
143
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,356
- OK, fellas.
144
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,097
How much money do you
guys want to borrow?
145
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,577
- Gee, every time
we're nice to you,
146
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,579
it doesn't mean we
want to borrow money.
147
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,232
- Oh, I'm sorry.
148
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,060
I guess I'm getting a little
suspicious in my old age.
149
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:26,500
- Well, as long as you mention
it, Pop, we could use $5.
150
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:27,588
- Kind of thought so.
151
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:28,893
- You better get
started, fellas,
152
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,199
if you want to go to the movies.
153
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,461
- Oh, yeah.
154
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:32,984
Can we have the money now, Pop?
155
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,116
- Oh, sure.
156
00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:40,949
Oh, Harriet, could
you lend me $5?
157
00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:42,516
- What, again?
158
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:43,908
But you haven't
paid me back that
159
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:46,694
$11 you borrowed for that COD.
160
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,391
- Well, I haven't got it.
161
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:50,915
- We'll take a check, Pop.
162
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:51,916
- David's right.
163
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,265
Write out a check.
164
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:55,180
- Well, I don't have
my checkbook here.
165
00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:56,486
- I got it right here.
166
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,837
- Ricky, get a pen.
167
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:00,925
- Here's a pen, Pop.
168
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:07,584
- Uh, see that was $10.
169
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:09,456
- No, $11.
170
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,371
- Well, Harriet, there's
no sense in making out
171
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:12,937
a check for such an odd amount.
172
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,635
- All right, make it
out for $25, then.
173
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,466
- Don't forget our $5, Pop.
174
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:22,251
- Well, when your mother cashes
the check, she'll give you $5.
175
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,080
- You better make
it out for $16 then.
176
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:26,211
- $16.
177
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,044
Pay to the order of--
178
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:37,222
- You can make it out to cash
if you can't remember my name.
179
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,790
- I remember your name.
180
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:45,796
Harriet Nelson, 16, $16.
181
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:54,239
- Go ahead and sign it.
182
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,763
- Wait a minute, I
just got an idea.
183
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:57,329
Pardon me.
184
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:58,374
- Hey, wait a minute.
185
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,071
Come back here and sign this.
186
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,899
- Well, I won't need you.
There's a light on the Darbys.
187
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,074
I can take the
package over there
188
00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:04,293
and get the money from him.
189
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:11,909
- Well, your father certainly
can move fast when he has to.
190
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,258
Ricky, put down that pen.
191
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:14,869
You can go to jail for that.
192
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,004
- Hello, Oz.
- Hi, Darb.
193
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:21,441
- Come on in.
194
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:23,355
- You know, I was just
thinking about you.
195
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:25,880
Have you got any more of
that wonderful tobacco,
196
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,359
that Queen's Taste stuff?
197
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,709
- Oh, come on, Darb.
198
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:29,927
You know it's all gone.
199
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,625
In fact, if I
remember correctly,
200
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:34,149
you came over and filled up
that tobacco pouch of yours,
201
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,020
and that polished it off.
202
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,370
- Well, it was practically
all gone anyway.
203
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,285
How big do you
think my pouch is?
204
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:44,420
- Well, big enough for
about three kangaroos.
205
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,074
And that stuff is
darn expensive.
206
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,379
- Yeah.
207
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:48,903
When are you going
to get some more?
208
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,513
- Well, I don't know.
209
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,036
I haven't been able to buy
any for about two months.
210
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,037
- Sit down.
211
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,430
- Oh, thanks.
212
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,824
Uh, the reason I came
over, this package
213
00:07:56,954 --> 00:08:00,044
arrived at our house
addressed to you as COD,
214
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:01,045
and I paid for it.
215
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,307
- Oh, thanks, Oz.
216
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,657
What are you smoking
in the meantime?
217
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:04,701
- Uh, $10.92.
218
00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,007
- What?
219
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:10,315
- Oh, oh, just some
stuff I picked up.
220
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,623
- I sure do love that
Queen's Taste tobacco.
221
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,582
- Oh, yeah, yeah, it's swell.
222
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:19,847
If I get any more in, I'll let
you have a pipe full of it.
223
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,327
Do you want to pay
me for this package?
224
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:23,851
- Well, how much was it?
225
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:24,852
- $10.92.
226
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:27,811
- $10.92?!
227
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,031
- It's nothing to
get alarmed about.
228
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,554
- You know, it's a
funny thing, Oz.,
229
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,296
I don't remember ordering
any package like that.
230
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:36,951
Say, maybe it's
the old COD racket.
231
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:41,782
- Oh, it's probably
something your wife ordered.
232
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,435
Why don't you ask her?
233
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:45,829
- If I do, she'll just say
go ahead and pay for it.
234
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,919
And frankly, Oz, I'd
rather not get involved.
235
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,269
- Well, it isn't a question
of getting involved.
236
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,534
The package came to our
house addressed to you COD,
237
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:57,449
and I've paid for it already.
238
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:01,279
- Look, Oz, do you
need the money?
239
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,586
- Well, no, not especially.
240
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,935
- All right, then.
241
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:08,112
Why don't we just
forget about it, huh?
242
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:13,727
- If you should happen to offer
to reimburse me, I'd accept it.
243
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:14,728
- What was it?
244
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:15,685
- $10.92.
245
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,774
- $10.92.
246
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,384
Let's see if we've
got it over here.
247
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:25,739
Here we are.
248
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,044
$0.92.
249
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,045
Thanks a lot, Oz.
250
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:31,266
- Oh, fine, OK, Darb.
251
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:32,310
Wait a minute.
252
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:33,834
Where is the $10?
253
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,009
- We're even.
254
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,227
- What do you mean we're even?
255
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,403
It was $10.92.
256
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:41,363
- Well, Oz, don't you remember
the $10 you borrowed from me
257
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:42,494
and never paid back?
258
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,284
- You and that poker face of
yours, you had me going there
259
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,372
for a minute.
260
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,026
Come on, give me the--
261
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:55,333
- Oz, you're not trying to
weasel out of this, are you?
262
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:56,900
- What do you--
weasel out of what?
263
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,598
- The $10 you owe me.
264
00:09:58,728 --> 00:09:59,686
- I don't owe you $10.
265
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,122
- Yeah, look, Oz.
266
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,645
Don't you remember a few
months ago, you and I
267
00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,255
took the wives out for dinner?
268
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,128
We went to that Chinese
restaurant downtown, that Ling
269
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,738
Chow Inn.
270
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:09,957
- I remember it vaguely.
271
00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,001
- Vaguely?
272
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,786
It was your anniversary.
273
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,265
- Oh, well, yes, I remember.
274
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:15,353
What about it?
275
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:16,833
- Well, I remember distinctly.
276
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:19,706
You ordered the $1.75
Cantonese special,
277
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:22,665
but you substituted almond
duck for the moo goo mu pan.
278
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,363
And instead of the wonton,
you wanted French onion soup.
279
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,104
- I don't remember that at all.
280
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,411
- Oz, you don't remember the
cook coming out of the kitchen
281
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,195
brandishing that big knife?
282
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,545
For a minute there, I thought we
were going to be in a Tong War.
283
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:36,287
Anyhow, when the check came,
you insisted upon paying it.
284
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:38,550
Then you found out you didn't
have your wallet with you,
285
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:39,726
so I slipped you $10.
286
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:40,901
- I've got you right there.
287
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,816
If I had a perfectly
valid excuse
288
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:44,687
like not having
my wallet with me,
289
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,733
why would I insist
on paying the check?
290
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:48,735
- Well, I wondered
about that at the time.
291
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,388
In fact, I remember
smelling your teacup
292
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:53,827
to see if there was
really tea in it.
293
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,873
- It seems to me you've got
a mighty convenient memory.
294
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,570
- Well, fortunately
Oz, I keep track
295
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,398
of things like that
in my little notebook.
296
00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,403
- Your little notebook.
297
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,101
- Yes, notebook.
298
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,451
You know, this isn't my first
experience with deadbeats.
299
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:10,626
Here we are.
300
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:11,627
Now, there's your name.
301
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:14,891
O Nelson, $10.
302
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:16,371
- Yeah, O Nelson $10.
303
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,982
The way I read this, it
means you owe me $10.
304
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:22,899
- No, that is "O" as an
abbreviation for Ozzie.
305
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,945
- Well, then why isn't
there a period after the O?
306
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,469
- Oh, come on now, Perry Mason.
307
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:28,775
- It all comes back to me now.
308
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:31,603
Certainly, you owe me $10.
309
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,127
- Well, it serves
me right for moving
310
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:34,476
into such a cheap neighborhood.
311
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:36,086
- I remember very distinctly.
312
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,523
I didn't want substitute
almond duck for moo goo mu pan.
313
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:41,178
You were the one who started
the trouble in the restaurant.
314
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:45,008
I had the $1.75 dinner, and
you ordered the $2.25 dinner.
315
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:47,228
And you got mad because I
got more sweet and sour pork
316
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,969
than you did.
317
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,797
- That's not so because I
don't like sweet and sour pork.
318
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,799
It gives me heartburn.
319
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,626
- It doesn't stand to reason.
320
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,324
If I borrowed any
money at all, I
321
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,021
would have borrowed
it from Harriet.
322
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:01,459
She doesn't charge
me any interest.
323
00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,113
- Oz, you're welching on this.
324
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,462
- I am not welching.
325
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,813
You owe me $10.
326
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:09,467
Let's go right in
your book here.
327
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,165
- What do I owe you $10 for?
328
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,557
- For this package.
329
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:15,691
- You owe me $10.
330
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:19,695
- The man came to my house
with this package for you.
331
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,610
I paid $10 for it.
332
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,961
And you're not going to get the
package unless I get my $10.
333
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:27,094
- Well, I'm not
giving you any $10.
334
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,400
- OK, I'll take this back to
the store and get a refund.
335
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:31,098
- Go ahead.
Get your refund.
336
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:33,361
- And from now on, let's keep
our financial relationship
337
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,537
at an absolute minimum.
338
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,757
- Hey, you've got my $0.92.
339
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,803
- I'll deduct it from
the $10 you owe me.
340
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,631
- And keep off my grass.
341
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,546
- You mowed it
with my lawn mower.
342
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:51,727
Harriet.
343
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:55,339
[music playing]
344
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:25,630
- Oh, dear.
345
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,197
Oh, dear.
346
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:28,242
All right.
347
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,330
Thank you, Joel.
348
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,465
I'll be with you
in just a moment.
349
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,163
- Yes, sir.
- Oh, Millie.
350
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:37,207
Millie.
351
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:38,643
- Yes, sir?
352
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,036
- Take this mess back
to the bridal shop--
353
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,517
white satin gown,
satin pumps, and veil.
354
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:43,997
She said she never wore it.
- Yes, sir.
355
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,389
- Oh, and Millie.
356
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,608
Don't forget to shake
the rice out of it.
357
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,349
- Yes, sir.
358
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,046
- I'd go with you, but I have
to take care of this cougher
359
00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:51,787
at the window.
360
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,136
Can I help you, sir?
361
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,529
- Yes, please.
362
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,183
I'd like to return this package.
- All right.
363
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,184
What is it?
364
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,794
- Well, I really don't know.
365
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,448
- Then why do you
want to return it?
366
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,754
- Well, I'd like to
get my money back.
367
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,540
- Yes, I know that, but
what is your complaint?
368
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,369
- Oh, well, there
isn't any complaint.
369
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,197
- Then why are you returning it?
370
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,503
- Well, because I
didn't order it.
371
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:15,289
- Well, what is it
that you didn't order?
372
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,900
- Well, after all, if I
didn't order something,
373
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,207
how could I possibly
know what it is?
374
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:21,338
- Millie!
375
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:25,473
- What's the matter?
376
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:26,909
- Oh, nothing, nothing.
377
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,432
I-- I just thought I'd
let Millie handle this.
378
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,347
She's just back
from her vacation.
379
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,827
- I see.
380
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,569
Well, it's really quite
a simple transaction.
381
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,398
I'm here to return the
package and get my money back.
382
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,921
- And I'm here to help you.
383
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:40,662
- Well, thank you very much.
384
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,707
I'm glad we
understand each other.
385
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,188
See, I don't happen to
know what's in the package
386
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,408
because I didn't order
it in the first place.
387
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:50,498
But since I paid for it, I'd
like to get my money back.
388
00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:51,891
- Well, why did you pay for it?
389
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,893
- Well, because it
was delivered to me.
390
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,024
See, my neighbor--
391
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,286
- Perhaps your wife ordered it.
392
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:57,766
- No, no.
393
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:01,204
In fact, she loaned me
the money to pay for it.
394
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,772
- Sir, under ordinary
circumstances,
395
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,252
there's a certain
amount of red tape
396
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:07,036
connected with a cash refund.
397
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:09,778
But in your case, I'm just going
to throw caution to the winds
398
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,127
and write you out a voucher.
399
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,132
All right.
400
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:18,265
Let's see now, Mr. Darby.
401
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:19,962
- No, no, I'm sorry.
402
00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:21,659
My name isn't Darby.
It's Nelson.
403
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,879
- Then what are you doing
with Mr. Darby's package?
404
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,664
- Well, see, that's what I've
been trying to explain to you.
405
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:30,277
His package was left at my
house, and I paid for it.
406
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,279
- Oh, now I understand.
407
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:34,281
Mr. Darby wants to
return the merchandise.
408
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:35,325
- Well, no.
409
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,979
He doesn't even know what it is.
410
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,589
- But he ordered it, didn't he?
411
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,764
- Well, he doesn't know.
412
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:41,114
He's not sure.
413
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:43,507
- Well, why didn't
Mr. Darby open it up?
414
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:48,034
- Well, frankly because
I wouldn't let him.
415
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:51,602
- Imagine two of
them on one block.
416
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,387
Why wouldn't you let him?
417
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:57,347
- Well, because he's not going
to make a fool out of me.
418
00:15:57,478 --> 00:16:00,350
I know what I ordered
in a Chinese restaurant.
419
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:01,482
- Millie!
420
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:06,704
- I'm afraid this is
getting kind of a silly.
421
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,837
Look, would you just
take the package
422
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,883
and credit my account
with $10.92, please?
423
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:12,884
- Yes, sir.
424
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,364
- The name is Ozzie Darby.
425
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:15,757
- Ozzie.
426
00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:17,411
- Oh, no, I'm sorry.
427
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,282
Ozzie Nelson.
428
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,329
- Whatever you say, sir.
429
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:25,854
[music playing]
430
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:32,948
- Hey, thanks a lot, Pop.
431
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,515
It was sure a good dinner.
- Oh, fine.
432
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:35,733
Glad you enjoyed it, Dave.
433
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:36,821
- Well, I sure am full.
434
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,127
I couldn't eat another bite.
435
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,433
- Me either.
436
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:40,738
I haven't even got
room for my dessert.
437
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:41,739
- I'll take it.
438
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:42,740
- All right.
439
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,699
- I'm pretty full of myself.
440
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,701
- It's a wonderful treat, dear.
441
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:50,487
- Oh, well, you deserve a
vacation every once in a while.
442
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:53,838
- Say, have we ever been
to this place before?
443
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:58,017
- I think possibly yes.
444
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:00,541
- Oh, I remember.
445
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,238
So you're sure our
coming here tonight
446
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:03,979
didn't have anything to do
with the argument between you
447
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,502
and Darb?
448
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:09,202
- Oh, Harriet, how could
you say a thing like that?
449
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:11,030
- Sir?
- Oh, yes?
450
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,596
- I've been thinking
and thinking
451
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,555
about what you asked me
when you called up and made
452
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,992
the reservation, but
I just can't remember.
453
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,690
- Oh, well, thank you very much.
454
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,170
- Can't remember what?
455
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:24,826
- Oh, it's really not important.
456
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,741
May we have our check, please?
457
00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:28,221
- Yes, sir.
458
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,918
After all, the incident
you had referenced to
459
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,528
was about four months ago.
460
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,226
And I wait on a lot of people.
461
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,793
- Oh, yes, I realize that.
462
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:38,883
- Some people I remember,
but some people I don't.
463
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,755
- Oh, yeah, well,
I just thought--
464
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:45,803
- Frankly, there's nothing
outstanding about you.
465
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,109
- Yes.
466
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,329
Oh, well, may I have
the check, please?
467
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:51,766
- I thought there was some
reason for eating out tonight.
468
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,028
- He couldn't help himself, Mom.
469
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,682
You know how the
criminal always returns
470
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,554
to the scene of his crime.
471
00:17:57,685 --> 00:18:01,863
- Now, Dave, I never return to
the scene of any of my crimes.
472
00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:03,082
- Now, let's see.
473
00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:04,518
What did this young man have?
474
00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:06,259
- I had the $1.15 dinner.
475
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:09,000
But I substituted my goo
gai pan for the boo yum
476
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,873
on the $4 dinner, and I
didn't have any wonton.
477
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:13,266
- Thank you.
478
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:14,832
And what did this
young man have?
479
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:15,833
- Well, let's see--
480
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,400
- Not you, him.
481
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:18,923
- Oh.
482
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:21,883
- Oh, I had the pot roast.
483
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:24,364
David Nelson, the
all-American boy.
484
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,800
- Look who's talking?
485
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:27,410
Eating Jell-O with chopsticks.
486
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,151
Ricky Nelson, boy glutton.
487
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:30,239
- Fellas.
488
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:36,376
Mrs. Nelson had the $1.75
dinner, and I had the $2.25
489
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:37,725
dinner.
490
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,596
Oh, and by the way,
it's a small thing,
491
00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:43,252
but why did she get more sweet
and sour pork than I did?
492
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:44,514
- I don't know.
493
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,212
I'm very sorry, sir.
494
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,562
- Not that the dinners weren't
good, they were excellent.
495
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:49,650
- Thank you, sir.
496
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:02,924
- What's the matter, dear?
497
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,143
- This is embarrassing.
498
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,320
I seem to have
forgotten my wallet.
499
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,799
- Now, I remember you.
500
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,845
You forgot your
wallet the last time.
501
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:14,675
You borrowed $10
from the other man.
502
00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:15,676
- Are you sure?
503
00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,330
- Positive.
504
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,594
I remember thinking to myself,
imagine anybody pulling
505
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,683
a corny old trick like that.
506
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:25,990
[music playing]
507
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:41,702
- Hello, Nelson.
508
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:42,790
- Hello, Darb.
509
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,052
May I come in?
510
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,053
- Suit yourself.
511
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,969
I was just going out.
512
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:49,884
- It will only take a minute.
513
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:55,019
Uh, I was down at the Chinese
restaurant this evening,
514
00:19:55,150 --> 00:20:00,155
and I want you to know I
found out that you were right,
515
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,288
and I was wrong.
516
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,681
And I owe you an apology.
517
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:06,683
- Well, I don't think
that I can accept anything
518
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:10,426
less than a full apology.
519
00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:13,386
- I hereby tender
you a full apology.
520
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,909
Is that satisfactory?
521
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,606
- No.
522
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:18,173
- What else can I say?
523
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,262
- Well, you might say,
"Here's the $10 I owe you."
524
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:23,787
- Oh, $10 I owe you.
525
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:29,097
- I accept your nice,
crisp, green apology.
526
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,708
- You son of a gun.
527
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:35,016
Now, look, get an eraser
and erase that notation you
528
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,670
made in that notebook of yours.
529
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,106
- Now, wait a minute.
530
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,064
Why don't I just wait
until Harriet pays back
531
00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:42,066
the $10 she borrowed
from my wife?
532
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,332
- Oh, say, there's
another thing.
533
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:47,724
About the package.
534
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:48,769
- Oh, that?
535
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:49,944
Forget about that, Oz.
536
00:20:50,074 --> 00:20:50,945
You keep it.
537
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:51,946
That's for you.
538
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,556
- For me?
539
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:56,124
Well, Oz, I just remembered
about four months ago,
540
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,169
I got the Emporium to
send over to London
541
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,215
for 3 pounds of that
Queen's Taste tobacco
542
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:01,912
for an anniversary
present for you.
543
00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:06,221
- Wait a minute.
544
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,745
You mean you bought that as
an anniversary present for me?
545
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:09,833
- Sure.
546
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:12,009
- Oh, gee, and the way I acted?
547
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:14,621
- Oh, forget it, forget it.
548
00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:17,406
- Oh, this is terrible, Darb.
549
00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:20,104
Oh, well, gee,
I'll talk to you--
550
00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:21,889
- Oh, well, let me
show you to the door.
551
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:23,282
- No, no, no, no,
no, no, please.
552
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:24,848
- What?
553
00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:26,981
- Let me crawl out
through the woodwork.
554
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:30,550
[music playing]
555
00:21:37,165 --> 00:21:38,253
- All right, there you are.
556
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:44,085
Millie!
557
00:21:44,215 --> 00:21:45,695
- I see you remember me.
558
00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:46,653
- I do indeed, sir.
559
00:21:46,783 --> 00:21:48,350
- Yes.
560
00:21:48,481 --> 00:21:50,091
Well, I didn't come back to
return anything this time.
561
00:21:50,221 --> 00:21:53,790
- Then what devilment
are you up to?
562
00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:56,619
- You remember that
package I returned?
563
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,142
- Vividly.
- Yeah.
564
00:21:58,273 --> 00:22:00,362
Well, I'd like to get it
back, if that's possible.
565
00:22:00,493 --> 00:22:01,363
- I knew it.
566
00:22:01,494 --> 00:22:02,756
I knew it.
567
00:22:02,886 --> 00:22:04,148
Pardon me, sir.
568
00:22:04,279 --> 00:22:06,194
- You see, you remember
the package wasn't
569
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,369
for me originally.
570
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,937
I just accepted
it for Mr. Darby.
571
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:12,026
- Just a moment, please.
572
00:22:12,156 --> 00:22:13,897
I gather you want that tobacco?
573
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,508
- Well, yes, I sure do.
574
00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,248
It's my favorite
tobacco, and I've
575
00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:18,815
been trying to
get it for months.
576
00:22:18,946 --> 00:22:19,947
- Hello, smoke shop?
577
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,688
This is Turney at Exchange.
578
00:22:21,818 --> 00:22:24,081
Do you have those three cans
of tobacco, that Queen's Taste
579
00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:26,475
that I sent down yesterday?
580
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:27,955
What?
581
00:22:28,085 --> 00:22:29,609
Oh, fine.
582
00:22:29,739 --> 00:22:30,871
Good.
583
00:22:31,001 --> 00:22:31,915
Thanks.
584
00:22:32,046 --> 00:22:33,830
- I take it, it's good news.
585
00:22:33,961 --> 00:22:35,049
- Good news for me.
586
00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:36,398
It's been sold.
587
00:22:36,529 --> 00:22:39,880
[music playing]
588
00:22:46,756 --> 00:22:48,584
[doorbell ringing]
589
00:22:48,715 --> 00:22:50,238
- Harriet, there's
somebody at the door.
590
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,935
- I'm putting the dishes away.
591
00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:52,980
David!
592
00:22:53,110 --> 00:22:54,373
Would you answer the door?
593
00:22:54,503 --> 00:22:56,070
- I'm on the telephone, Mom.
594
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,376
Hey, Ricky!
- What do you want?
595
00:22:57,506 --> 00:22:58,377
I'm in the shower.
596
00:22:58,507 --> 00:22:59,639
- You taking another shower?
597
00:22:59,769 --> 00:23:03,294
- No, I'm washing my Levi's.
598
00:23:03,425 --> 00:23:06,341
- I got it.
599
00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:07,342
- Hello, Mr. Nelson.
600
00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:08,343
It's me again.
601
00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:09,605
- Yeah, hi, Mr. Henderson.
602
00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:11,607
- Got a COD package here.
603
00:23:11,738 --> 00:23:13,957
- Oh, well, the Darbys are home.
604
00:23:14,088 --> 00:23:14,958
- It's for you.
605
00:23:15,089 --> 00:23:16,351
$17.87.
606
00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:19,354
- Oh, 17-- oh, this
is for Mrs. Nelson.
607
00:23:19,485 --> 00:23:21,051
Pardon me.
Harriet!
608
00:23:21,182 --> 00:23:22,792
- Yeah.
609
00:23:22,923 --> 00:23:24,881
- There's a COD package for
you here from the Emporium.
610
00:23:25,012 --> 00:23:26,535
- Will you pay for it, dear?
611
00:23:26,666 --> 00:23:27,884
- Oh, where's your purse?
612
00:23:28,015 --> 00:23:29,190
- Pay for it yourself.
613
00:23:32,106 --> 00:23:34,848
- Didn't work, huh?
614
00:23:34,978 --> 00:23:37,067
- See, it's $17.8--
615
00:23:37,198 --> 00:23:42,377
- $17.87, that's right.
616
00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:45,162
- $17.87.
617
00:23:45,293 --> 00:23:48,383
Uh, I don't suppose you've
got change for a $20 bill.
618
00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:51,865
- I've got change for a 1,000.
619
00:23:51,995 --> 00:23:53,519
- Oh, hello, Mrs. Nelson.
620
00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:54,520
- Did you pay for it?
621
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:56,130
- Oh, not yet.
622
00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:57,784
- Well, you better get it
while the getting's good.
623
00:23:57,914 --> 00:24:00,047
That's a surprise for
you, a three-pound can
624
00:24:00,177 --> 00:24:01,614
of Queen's Taste.
625
00:24:01,744 --> 00:24:03,398
- That's Queen's Taste in there?
626
00:24:03,529 --> 00:24:06,314
- I got it down at the
smoke shop at the Emporium.
627
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,185
The man there said some
knucklehead had just
628
00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:10,971
sent it back.
629
00:24:11,101 --> 00:24:13,016
- The price of that's
supposed to be $10.92.
630
00:24:13,147 --> 00:24:15,889
See, I was the knucklehead--
631
00:24:16,019 --> 00:24:18,500
it's not supposed to be $17.87.
632
00:24:18,631 --> 00:24:20,241
The price of this is $10.92.
633
00:24:20,371 --> 00:24:21,242
- Oh, well, dear.
634
00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:22,939
That was four months ago.
635
00:24:23,070 --> 00:24:24,419
Things have gone up since then.
- Well, I know, Harriet--
636
00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:26,160
- Look, Mr. Nelson.
637
00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:28,510
If you don't mind, I've got a
few more deliveries to make.
638
00:24:28,641 --> 00:24:31,426
- Well, gee, I hate to pay
$17.87 for something that
639
00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:32,427
should cost--
640
00:24:32,558 --> 00:24:33,428
- Hey, Oz.
641
00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:34,821
I'm glad I caught you.
642
00:24:34,951 --> 00:24:37,519
I got a COD package
here for you, $10.92.
643
00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:39,042
- $10.92!
Certainly.
644
00:24:39,173 --> 00:24:40,696
That's more like it.
You see, Harriet?
645
00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:42,002
- Mr. Nelson...
646
00:24:42,132 --> 00:24:44,395
- Uh, if you don't
mind, Mr. Henderson,
647
00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:47,007
I don't think I'll
accept the COD package.
648
00:24:47,137 --> 00:24:48,443
- Makes no difference to me.
649
00:24:48,574 --> 00:24:50,619
- Oh, dear, after
all that trouble!
650
00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,492
- Harriet, $10.92
is the right price.
651
00:24:53,622 --> 00:24:55,363
I've had this stuff on
order for several months.
652
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:56,364
- Oz.
- It's $10.9--
653
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:57,887
- Pardon me, Oz.
654
00:24:58,018 --> 00:24:59,280
- $10.92.
655
00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,500
- Yeah.
656
00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:02,936
10, 11.
657
00:25:03,066 --> 00:25:04,851
There, keep the change
as a tip, my good man.
658
00:25:04,981 --> 00:25:07,201
- Well, thank you.
659
00:25:07,331 --> 00:25:11,379
Oh, boy, I've been
waiting for this stuff.
660
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:12,554
Give Darb a pipeful.
661
00:25:18,995 --> 00:25:20,519
They sure pack it well.
662
00:25:26,568 --> 00:25:28,048
What's this?
663
00:25:28,178 --> 00:25:30,311
- Well, there's nothing in
there but old newspapers.
664
00:25:33,488 --> 00:25:35,229
- Where's the tobacco?
665
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,710
- This is just a
gag, Oz, to get back
666
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:42,845
the $10 Harriet owes my wife
and the $0.92 you owe me.
667
00:25:42,976 --> 00:25:44,673
- That isn't very funny.
668
00:25:44,804 --> 00:25:46,066
- Oh, now I understand.
669
00:25:46,196 --> 00:25:49,069
This is how the old
COD racket works.
670
00:25:49,199 --> 00:25:52,638
[music playing]
671
00:26:00,689 --> 00:26:04,127
[theme music]
672
00:27:01,228 --> 00:27:02,751
- "Ozzie and Harriet"
are brought to you
673
00:27:02,882 --> 00:27:07,016
by Kodak, makers of
new Verichrome Pan film
674
00:27:07,147 --> 00:27:10,063
for the best black and white
snapshots that ever came out
675
00:27:10,193 --> 00:27:11,934
of your camera.
676
00:27:12,065 --> 00:27:16,939
This has been an ABC Television
Network film presentation.
47429
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