All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S05E36 The Coffee Table 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

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is happy to bring you

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family, the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

Like most of us, they
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and color slides, and of course,
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can ask about easy terms.

Why not visit him this week?

Now, Kodak invites you
to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- You looking for
something, Rick?

- Yeah, a cigar.

- There's a whole box of them
right there on the table.

- Oh.

- A cigar?!

[laughter]

Ricky?

- What's the matter?

- Well, Ricky just came
in here and got a cigar.

- Yeah.
I know.

I asked him to.

- You asked him to?

- I was trying to cover up the
scratch on the coffee table.

I read in a magazine that
cigar ashes are good for that.

- Oh.

Well, did it work?

- I don't know.

Would you volunteer to
smoke a cigar for me?

- I'll volunteer.

- Oh, no, you won't.

- Well, maybe a little later.

Do you think that old
coffee table is worth

fooling around with?

I was taking a look
at that last night,

and it's pretty
beat up, Harriet.

- Yeah.
I guess it is at that.

You ought to see the beautiful
coffee table Sally Dipple has.

Wally made it for her
in woodworking class.

- Oh, yeah.

He's pretty good
at that, isn't he?

- Oh, yes.

He does beautiful work.

Do he made that table
in their hall, too?

- Well, yeah, so I understand.

- It's a wonderful hobby.

- Well, maybe, if
you have the tools.

- Wally doesn't have any tools.

They furnish them over
at the night school.

- Oh, yeah.

I think he said
something about that.

- How come you've never been
interested in woodworking?

- With all these thumbs?

- Never seemed to bother
you playing your saxophone.

- Are you kidding?

My technique was always bad.

My tone was horrible, but
my technique was very bad.

- Stop changing the subject.

You know, it might be fun.

The class only meets one
night a week, I understand,

tonight in fact.

- Well, tonight's
my bowling night.

Of course, I don't
have to go bowling.

Hey, you might
have an idea there.

What time's the class start?

- About 8:00, I think.

- Oh, I better get going then.

- Oh, I'll get
your coat for you.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

Oh, while you're there, will
you get my bowling shoes,

too, please?

- I should have known.

[music playing]

- What are you looking for now?

- Your bowling ball.

- Well, fortunately, that's
down at the bowling alley.

[music playing]

- Ricky!

[music playing]

- Hi, Wally.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

Bowling again tonight?

- Yeah, bowling again.

I had kind of a close call.

Harriet started talking
about the woodworking class.

- Uh-oh.
Do you think she caught on?

- No.

She thinks I'm
bowling, as usual.

Boy, will she be surprised
when I finish this coffeetable.

- Well, how's it coming?

- Well, pretty well,
when you consider

I don't know what I'm doing.

[laughter]

- Oh, hi, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, hello, Mr. Miller.

- Say, I noticed you sanded this
top down real nice last time.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- Guess you're about
ready for the legs now.

Huh?
- Well, yeah.

I'm going to need a little
help from you on these.

- Well, that's
what I'm here for.

Now, I have one of the legs
set up in the lathe already.

Do you know how to turn wood?
- No.

I really don't.
- Oh, it's real interesting.

Come on.
I'll show you.

- Oh, thanks.

- Now, first of all,
I'm using the lathe.

We always wear goggles
for a safety precaution.

- Oh, yes.

- And the first thing we
have to do, Mr. Nelson,

is to rough down this square
to the approximate shape

of the leg.
This is called roughing down.

I'll tell you what, Mr.
Nelson, why don't you

go over to my assistant
in the tool room

and get a set of
turning chisels.

I'll rough this down for you.

- You have an assistant now?
- Oh, yeah.

She just started a
couple of nights ago.

- Oh, good.
Chisels?

- Turning chisels.

- Turning chisels.

Pardon me, please.

Sorry.
pardon me.

- Can you make it?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

[laughter]

[knocking]

- Are you Mr.
Miller's assistant?

- Yes, I am.
What can I do for you?

- Oh, well, he asked
me to get a sweater.

[laughter]

Some turning chisels.

- Oh, yes.

Here you are.

- Oh, thank you very much.

- How's your project
coming along?

- Oh, fine.
Thanks.

I'm making a little surprise
for my wife, a coffeetable.

- Oh, isn't that nice.

- Well, thank you.

- Any time at all.

[laughter]

- Pardon me.

[laughter]

- Oh, you got the
tools, Mr. Nelson?

- Yeah.
I hope these are the right ones.

- Yeah.
That's fine.

Now, here's a pair
of goggles for you.

Put those on.

Get your sleeves
rolled up there.

Now, the first
thing we have to do

is to turn a bead on this leg,
right about here, I'd say.

Now, watch very
closely how I do this.

There, that's all
there is to it.

- Oh, that doesn't
look too difficult.

- Would you like to try one.
- Yeah, please.

- Here.

Now, the next thing
goes right about here.

You all set?
- All set.

- All right.
Here we go.

[laughter]

[laughter]

- Mr. Nelson, would you like
to have me show you again?

Oh, yeah.
Would you, please?

- Sure.

Sure.

I'll say I'll put this
next one about here.

- No.

I want to feel I'm part of this.

- Oh.

[laughter]

You get the idea?

- Yeah.

- Now, we have to round off
this end for the end of the leg.

We do that this way.

There we are.

She's all finished.

- Oh.

Say, that was much easier than
I thought it was going to be.

- Yeah.
You're doing fine.

- Oh, thank you.

[music playing]

Oh, hi, Rick.

- Oh, hi, Pop.

How was bowling?

- Oh, well, you know, bowling
is always a lot of fun.

Where's your mother?

- She's upstairs, reading.

Wait a minute.

What's that stuff in your hair?

- Oh.

It must be sawdust.

- From the bowling alley?

[laughter]

- I'll let you guys
in on a little secret.

I've been making a
coffeetable for your mother

over at the high school
woodworking shop.

- Gee, how about that?

- Yeah.

I've been going over there on
my bowling night every week,

but your mother
doesn't know about it.

Now, it's a surprise,
so don't tell her.

- We won't tell her.

- No, we won't tell her.

It's a lucky thing I got
this sawdust out of my hair,

before your mother saw it.

- Now, it's on the rug.

- We'll clean it up.

Well, thanks a lot.

Good night, fellas.

- Goodnight, Pop.

- Uh, Pop?

- Oh.

[music playing]

- How was the bowling tonight?

- Oh, the same as usual.

- What's that?

- What?

- It sounds like
a vacuum cleaner.

- Oh.
Oh, that.

Oh, it's probably
one of the boys.

They might have
spilled some sawdust--

some-- some cracker crumbs
or bread crumbs or something.

- Well, it's never
bothered them before.

- Well, they're getting pretty
good about things like that.

It stopped now, whatever it was.

I'll put my pants away.

[laughter]

[music playing]

[laughter]

- That's pretty funny.

Listen to this, Ozzie.

Ozzie?

[laughter]

[music playing]

- Oh, I won't be late.

I'm leaving now.

- Have a good time bowling.

- Goodnight.

Goodnight, fellas.
- Goodnight, Pop.

- Goodnight, Pop,
and don't forget

to brush the sawdust and stuff
off before you come home.

- Don't worry, I won't.

- What are you
going to do tonight?

- Nothing special.

Why?

- You want to go bowling?

- Sounds good.

I haven't been bowling
in a long time.

- Let's go.

- Darn it.
- What's the matter, Mom?

- Oh, I thought I could
catch your father.

I wanted him to drop me
off over at grandma's.

- We're going bowling.
You want to come with us?

- You mean bowling?

- Uh, no!

We'll drop you off at grandma's.

- Oh, you don't
like the way I bowl.

Huh?
- Oh, sure.

- Do you guys have dates?
- No.

- No.

- Well, do you
mind if I go along?

- Well, yeah.

Uh, no.

That'd be fine.

- I was just kidding
about the bowling.

I'll just sit and
watch your father bowl,

and I'll ride home
with him later, in case

you guys want to do something.

- Oh, look, Mom, why don't you
go upstairs and get your coat?

- Well, it isn't upstairs.
it's back here in the closet.

- Oh.

Well, Mom and I will
pull the car around,

and you can make
that phone call.

- What phone call?

- You know, to your
friend at school?

- Oh, yeah.

Maybe he isn't there yet.

- What's this?

- Well, Ricky has to make
a phone call to his friend.

Come on, Mom.
We'll pull the car out.

- Hey, wait a second.

On second thought, why don't
we go to the movies instead.

- Yeah.
That's a better idea.

- Well, do you guys
mind dropping me off

at the bowling alley?

- Don't you want to
go to the movies?

- Well, yes, but your father
forgot his bowling shoes.

[laughter]

- Why don't we pull the
car out, and Ricky, you

can make that phone call.

- OK.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?
- Hello?

Is this the woodworking
shop at the high school?

- Yes, it is.

Yes.

He's just coming in now.

Mr. Nelson, telephone.

Hold the line a minute, please.

- Oh, well, thank you.

Hello?

- Hey, Pop, this is Rick.

I just called to warn you.

Mom's on her way down the
bowling alley with us.

- Holy smokes, how
did that happen?

- I don't know.

It's sort of a long story.

- Oh, well, look, drive slowly,
and I'll try and get over there

before you do.

- OK, Pop.

- Oh, hi, Oz.

- Doc, when do I bowl?

- What do you mean,
when do you bowl?

You haven't been here for weeks.

We got somebody to
take your place.

- Doc, I've got
to bowl right now.

- What's the matter
with you, Oz?

- This is an emergency.

I'll explain it
to you later, Doc.

I've got a bowl right now.

- We're right in the
middle of a game.

- I don't-- I've got a
bowl right now, I tell you.

[laughter]

- Oh, there he is.
- Where?

I don't see him.

- Well, there.

He just bowled.

- How'd he do?

- Well, it sounded
like a strike.

- I'm sorry to mess
up your game, Doc.

It was an emergency.

I'd do the same thing for you.

- Well, this is the most
ridiculous thing I ever heard.

What are we going to
do with the score?

Oh, well, for goodness sakes,
what are you doing here?

- Well, for one thing, you
forgot your bowling shoes.

- Oh, how about that?

Well, did you come
down to watch Dad bowl?

- Pardon me.
Who rolled that last strike?

- Oh, I did, son.

- Next time, will you please
take the ball out of the bag.

[laughter]

[music playing]

- Did you see that
thing in the sports

section about the bowling
tournament next week?

- Yeah.

I just been reading
about it right now.

- Isn't tonight
your bowling night?

- Yes, it is, Dave.

- Are you going bowling?

- Are you going bowl--

Yeah.

I'm going bowling-- at
the woodworking class.

- You finish that T-A-B-L-E yet?

- No, it's taking me a
lot longer than I thought.

- What's taking you a lot
longer than you thought?

[laughter]

- We have to get going here.
- Oh, that's right.

Tonight's bowling
night, isn't it?

- Yeah.

Anybody want to
come along with me?

- Not me.

- Not me, either.

- How about you, Rick?

- No thanks, Pop.

- I'm going to stay home
and watch television.

- Well, I'll see
you a little later.

- Have a good time.

- Thank you.

[music playing]

[laughter]

- Here we are.

You're sure doing a fine
job on this, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh.

If you weren't helping me,
I'd probably be here all year.

- Well, I'm glad to do it.

- Oh, Fred.
Pardon me, Mr. Nelson.

- Sure.

- Hey, Oz.

Let's see that.

- Oh.

- Hey, this is
beautiful work, boy.

- Thanks a lot.

- A couple of more sessions,
you'll be finished.

- Yeah, thanks to Mr. Miller.

- He knows his stuff.
Doesn't he?

- Oh, he's a fine instructor.

- And Harriet hasn't
caught on yet?

- No.

She still thinks
I'm going bowling.

[phone ringing]

- I'll get it.

Hello?
- Hello.

Is Ozzie there?
- No.

He's not.
He's down at the bowling alley.

- No.
He's not here.

I'm phoning from
the bowling alley.

- Well, that's strange.

Are you sure?
- I'm positive.

He hasn't been here all night.

- Hey, wait a minute,
who are you calling?

- Ozzie Nelson.

- Oz is at the
woodworking class.

He's making a
coffeetable for Harriet.

It's a surprise.

She thinks he's here, bowling.

- Gee.

Hello?

I must have made a
mistake, Mrs. Cranfield.

[laughter]

- Mrs. Cranfield?

- Isn't this Ozzie
Cranfield's house?

[laughter] Oh, I'm
terribly sorry.

I must have the wrong number.

Thanks.

Goodbye, Harriet.

[laughter]

- Who was that, Mom?
- Well, I don't know.

Somebody called from
the bowling alley

and wanted to talk to
your father, I thought.

And then after
this long pause, he

asked for somebody
named Ozzie Cranfield.

- Ozzie Cranfield?

Were they kidding?

- Well, that's
what I'm wondering.

- Oh, Ozzie Cranfield.

He's that bowler.

[laughter]

You know, that bowler?

- Oh, yeah, Ozzie
Cranfield, the bowler.

- I wonder where you
father really is.

- What do you mean, Mom?

- Well, obviously, he's
not at the bowling alley.

Ozzie Cranfield.

- I guess I'll get
upstairs and go to bed.

- Wait for me.

I'll come up and tuck you in.

- Guys, what's going
on around here?

- Nothing much.

Pop said he was going bowling.

We've been watching television,
and you got a wrong number.

Seems like a perfectly
normal evening to me.

- All right.

If you won't tell me, I'm going
to phone the bowling alley

and find out for myself.

- Well, why do you want
to call there for, Mom?

- Find out if your
father's there.

- Well, we might
as well tell you.

Pop's not at the bowling alley.

- Well, neither is
Ozzie Cranfield.

That much I know.

- He's somewhere else, and
wherever he is, it's all right.

- Well, I know that, too.

- You do?

- Well, of course, I do.

Now, where is your father?

- We can't tell you, Mom.
- No.

All we can tell you is
that it's got something

to do with a surprise, and it's
a very nice surprise for you.

- Yeah.

That's what I figured.

- You did?
- Sure.

After 21 years, you get
to understand a person

pretty well.
- I don't know.

I've lived with David
for 17 years now

and I still don't
understand him.

[music playing]

- Psst, hey, Oz.

- Doc, what are you doing here?

- Don't go in yet.

- What are you talking about?

- You're in bad trouble.

Jack telephoned Harriet
from the bowling alley,

and told her he was
looking for you.

- Well, what'd you
let him do that for?

- He called before I had
a chance to tell him.

- Boy, this is terrible.

What am I going to do?

- Here, Oz.

Take a couple of these
tranquilizer pills.

[laughter]

- Thanks, Doc.

[music playing]

[slam]

[laughter]

- Oh!

[laughter]

I didn't expect you to be awake.

- Why not?

I always wait up for
you when you go bowling.

Don't I?

- Yeah.

- How was it?

- Oh, it was fine.

- That's good.

- Were there any
phone calls for me?

- Why?

Were you expecting any?

- Well, not especially.

- Yes, there was one phone call,
but it was the wrong number.

- Oh.

- Somebody called
from a bowling alley.

He wanted to talk
to Ozzie Cranfield.

- Ozzie Cranfield?

- You know, the famous bowler.

- The-- oh, oh, Ozzie,
the bowler, Cranfield.

- Ozzie Cranfield.

- The famous--

- I'd like to meet him sometime.

What's the matter?

- Well, I want to take
a couple of pills.

- Don't you feel well?

- Well, yeah.

I feel fine.

- Well, you don't act fine.

You know, I'm worried about you.

- Would you like
to take the pills?

[laughter]

- No, thank you.

- Goodnight, dear.

- Goodnight.

- I'll turn out the
light a little later.

- Would you sleep better if you
told me all about it now, Mr.

Cranfield?

[laughter]

- About what?

- About where you were
when you weren't bowling?

- Oh.

Then you know I weren't bowling.

[laughter]

- That's right.

- Well, if I tell you,
it won't be a surprise.

- No, but it will make
things a lot easier.

- Well, how?

- Well, for one
thing, you won't have

to lug that heavy bowling ball
around with you on your bowling

night next week.

- Well, as long as you
found out that much,

you'll probably
find out the rest.

I've been going over
to the woodworking

shop with Wally Dipple.

I've been making a
coffeetable for you.

- Why, that's wonderful, dear.

- It's practically finished.

It looks pretty good, too,
if I do say so myself.

Of course, I've been
getting some help.

They have a wonderful
instructor over there.

- Well, I think it's
very nice of you

to give up your bowling
night, because I

know how much you enjoy it.

- Oh, this is fun, too.

Say, as long as you
found out all about it,

why don't you come
to the class with me?

- I'd love to.
It's a date.

- Good.

[music playing]

- I think that does it.

- Oh, that's amazing.

Thank you.

- Do you think you'll be
able to finish the rest of it

yourself, Mr. Dipple?
- Oh, yes.

I think I will.

I mean, you know, you're
a better instructor

than Mr. Miller.

- Oh, thank you.

Of course, I'm really not.

If you have any real problems,
he'll be back next week.

- Oh, that's too bad.

I mean--

[laughter]

In the meantime, you'll
keep your eye on me, though,

won't you?

- Oh, indeed, I will.

- Are you sure I
won't be in the way?

- Oh, don't be silly.
Of course not.

- I hope the
instructor won't mind.

- Oh, no.

Everybody's very
nice around here.

- Oh, say, this is
really quite a layout.

- Sure is.
Isn't it?

- Well, good
evening, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, hello there.

I didn't expect to
see you out here.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well, I usually meet
you in the stock room.

[laughter]

Where's Mr., uh, the instructor?

- I'm the instructor.

- No, I mean, where's
the instructor that

looks like an instructor?

[laughter]

- Oh, Mr. Miller.
- Yeah.

Mr. Miller is our
regular instructor.

I usually meet this young
lady in the stockroom.

Oh, well, this is my
wife, Mrs. Nelson.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

- Mr. Miller's at the
bowling tournament tonight.

- Oh.

- He was telling me you're
quite a bowler, Mr. Nelson.

How come you're not
at the tournament?

- Oh, well, I wanted to finish
the coffeetable for Mrs.

Nelson.

- Wouldn't you rather be
bowling in the tournament?

- Well, yeah, if you don't mind.

- No, of course not.

- Oh, gee.

I'll phone Doc and
tell him I can make it.

Where's the telephone again?
- It's right in the stock room.

- Oh, yes.

- I presume you know the way.

- Oh.

Pardon.

[music playing]

- Another strike!

Atta boy, Oz.

- Hey, who bowled
that last strike?

- Are you kidding?

That was your old
friend Ozzie Cranfield.

[music playing]

- Aren't you going
bowling tonight, dear?

- Well, I'm a little tired.

I think I'll just sit
here and take it easy.

I hope you don't mind
waiting a couple more weeks

for the coffeetable.

- What makes you think I have
to wait a couple more weeks?

- Well, I haven't
finished it yet.

- You don't have to.

I finished it for you.

Bring in the surprise, boys.

- One coffeetable
coming right up.

- This is terrific!

When did you do this?

- Well, I got so
interested, I went over

to the shop a few
afternoons and worked on it,

and I finished it out in
the garage tonight, just

before dinner.

- Well, it's the cleverest
thing I've ever seen in my life.

- How about the
bowling pins for legs?

- Yeah!

- This is just a
little reminder.

From now on, when you say
you're going out to go bowling,

just make sure you do.

- Boys, your mother's
remarkable woman.

- She sure is.
- She sure is.

- Thank you, dear.

Oh, wait till I show you
what goes on top of it.

- Oh, how about that?

Well, this looks--

Wait a minute.

Well, Harriet, this
is my bowling ball.

[laughter]

- Oh, don't worry, dear.

I think this is the
really clever part.

I saved this end of
it, and from now on,

whenever you want to go bowling,
you just glue it together.

[music playing]

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet"

are brought to you by
Eastman Kodak company,

who remind you that this is
movie month at your photo

dealers.

Why not stop in tomorrow
and see his special display

of new Kodak movie
cameras and projectors?

This has been an ABC Television
Network film presentation.