All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S05E31 Ozzie The Treasurer 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

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America's favorite
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Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

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And now, Kodak invites you
to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- What are you doing, Pop,
figuring out my allowance?

- No, I'm just trying
to straighten out

these books for the lodge.

- What's the matter?

Is the bank examiner coming in?

- No, I'm just getting
the books in shape

so I can turn them over
to the next treasurer.

- Aren't you going to
be treasurer anymore?

- You're darn right I'm not.

I've been stuck with this job
for the past three years now,

and I have had it.

It's just a waste
of valuable time.

- That's just the way I
feel about this homework.

- Well, that's not a
waste of time at all.

- Did you take algebra, Pop?

- Well, sure, I took all
sorts of mathematics.

- Then how come you're
using the adding machine?

- Well, because it saves time.

- It doesn't make
any mistakes either.

- Well, nevertheless, I
couldn't use the adding machine

unless I understood
something about mathematics.

- Did you take chemistry, Pop?

- Yes, in high school.

- Then how come you don't
make your own shaving lotion?

- Why would I want to do that?

- Charlie Barton's father does.

- Well, that's different.

He's a druggist.

Look, there are a
lot of things you

study in high school you never
put to practical use later on.

- You mean like algebra?

- Don't get the idea
algebra isn't important.

Mathematics is a very
valuable mental training.

Get back to your work, son.

- I haven't even started yet.

- Well, then get started.

- Think you could run some
of this stuff up for me

on that adding machine, Pop?

- Look, the adding machine
doesn't solve problems

in algebra.

All it does is add up
a column of figures.

Besides, I've got enough
problems of my own here.

I'm $8 short.

- How could that be if
you're using a machine?

- Well, it isn't a
question of adding wrong.

- What is it?

- [chuckles] I think
I just found the $8.

Rental of adding machine, $8.

- How's it coming, dear?

- Oh, pretty good.

I'm just making a
few final entries.

Boy, I'm sure glad
this thankless job

is coming to an end.

Never again.
- Well, I hope so.

I think three years is plenty.

- Well, there wasn't
much I could do.

Thorny kept nominating me,
and they kept electing me.

- Well, at least it's nice to
know the lodge brothers trust

you with their money.

- Yeah, that's true.

Oh, say, that
reminds me, I've got

to send a check in to
the bonding company.

- I'll let you guys
get on with your work.

Actually, I wanted to ask you
about this newspaper clipping.

Do you want to save it?
I found it on the night table.

- Oh, yes, I do.
Thanks a lot.

- What are you going to
do, hang it on the wall?

- Oh!

[chuckles] I didn't realize
that was on the back of it.

I was interested in
this side of the page.

- Can I have it then?

From where I'm
sitting, this side

looks more interesting to me.

- Oh, well, no.

See, there's a sale on golf
clubs down at the emporium.

That's the reason I cut
this out of the paper.

- I think the girl's much
prettier than the golf clubs.

What happened the other one?

- What other one?

- The other girl.

There's one missing
here, isn't there?

- Oh!

Oh, yeah.

In fact, I think she was a
little prettier than this girl.

But getting back to the
golf clubs, they look nice,

don't you think?
Pardon me.

- Yes, they are nice.

Are you thinking
about buying them?

- Oh, well, I'd like to have
them, but I can't afford those.

- Maybe you ought to hang
on to the treasurer's job

and keep your hand in the
till for another year.

- Are you kidding?

If I was treasurer
for another year,

I wouldn't need any golf clubs.

This job doesn't leave you time
enough to do anything else.

- Well, it left you time
enough to cut out the ad.

- Yeah, I wish you hadn't
cut out that other girl,

though, Pop.

Now I won't be able
to get to sleep

wondering what she looks like.

- Don't you have homework to do?

- Yeah, but I can't
concentrate with all

these interesting
things going on.

I think I'll go
upstairs for a while.

- Hi, Rick.
- Hi, Mr. Thornberry.

Pop's right in the den there.
- Thanks.

Hi, Harriet.
- Hi, Thorny.

- Hey, what do you got there?

- Oh, something Ozzie
clipped out of the paper.

You can have it.

- Gee, thanks.

Mm.

Oz, I'm surprised at you.

- Oh, hiya, Thorny.

- Where's the other girl?

- Oh, I didn't clip that
out because of the girl.

There's an ad on the other side.

Turn the page over.

- Sounds like a pretty
fair explanation.

You're gonna buy
some new golf clubs?

- I'd sure like to, boy.

My old ones are really shot.

- Yeah, same here.

Hey, I see you working
on the lodge books.

- Yeah, and for the
last time, I hope.

Don't you dare nominate
me again this year.

- What, you mean you haven't
enjoyed being treasurer?

- Are you kidding?

How can you enjoy
being treasurer?

It's just a lot of hard work.

Sometimes, I wonder if
their members appreciate me.

- I appreciate you, Oz.

You've done a mighty neat job.

All in ink!

- Thanks.

I just finished.

- Hey, uh, this is pretty
tough to erase, isn't it?

- It's practically impossible
unless you want to tear right

through the paper.

- Oh, by the way, here you are.

- What's this?

- My quarterly dues.

- Well, you don't have
to pay them in advance.

- You know me better than that.

These are for the last quarter.

- Would you mind holding on
to them for a couple of weeks?

- You're trying to
make me delinquent?

If I don't pay now,
I'm subject to a fine.

- Well, if I take
your dues, I've

got to change all the figures.

- Well, go ahead
and change them.

- I've got them all down in ink.

- Well, that's just too bad, Oz.

I want to pay my dues.

Now, are you going to take
the money or aren't you?

- Come on, Thorny.

- I refer you to Section 12,
paragraph B of the bylaws:

the treasurer will
accept all dues.

- OK, I accept them.

- Yeah, but you don't want
to enter them in the books.

What are you going
to do, keep the money

and take your trip to
South America or something?

- How will I go?

By bus?

- Oz, I came over to pay my
dues, not to be insulted.

- Well, OK, you paid them.

You want anything else?

- Yeah, my receipt.

- I'll give it to you tomorrow.

What's wrong now?

- Oz, this is a kind
of a cheap cigar.

Where'd you get these?

- You gave them to
me for my birthday.

[music playing]

- Excuse me, dear, do you
mind if I finish clearing off

these dishes?
- Oh, no, go ahead.

- I thought you finished
that last night.

- Well, I did, but Thorny
came in and paid his dues

at the last minute, and I
had to change the total.

When I copied it over, I
made a couple of mistakes.

- Oh, well, that's a shame.

How are you doing?

- Pretty good.

I've got it practically
finished again.

- Well, at least
you can be thankful

that this is your last term.

Oh, good morning, Doc.

- Hi, Harriet.

- How about some coffee?
- No, thanks.

Is the treasurer up yet?

- He sure is.

He's sitting right there.

- Well, hi, Oz.
- Oh, hiya, Doc.

- Working on the lodge books?

- Yeah, I just made
the last entry.

- Nice, neat job.

All in ink, huh?

- Yeah.

- Well, gee, I hope this doesn't
cause you any extra work,

but I came in to pay up my dues.

- Your what?

- My dues.

I'm sorry I'm a little late.

- Did Thorny put you up to this?

- Well, no, not exactly.

He did mention something
about having paid his dues,

so I thought it might be a
good time for me to pay mine.

- Well, it's not.

Now I'll have to rewrite
the whole darn page.

What else did Thorny tell you?

- Well, I believe he did mention
something about Section 12,

paragraph B of the bylaws.

- OK, give me the money.

- Don't get sore at me, Oz.

You wouldn't want me to get into
trouble for not paying my dues.

- Wait till I see that Thorny.

That no good--

[phone ringing]

- Go on, Oz.

I'd like to hear what
kind of a no good he is.

- Hello?

- This is Dr. Williams's office.

Is Dr. Williams there?

- Yes, he's in the dining
room with my father.

- Would you give him
a message, please?

Mr. Thornberry just hobbled
into the outer office.

He seems to be in a
great deal of pain

and can't put any
weight on his foot.

I wonder if you could tell
Dr. Williams to come over

as soon as possible?

- OK, I'll tell him right away.

- Who is it for, Rick?

- It's for you, Dr. Williams.

The office just called.

- Oh, something important?

- The nurse said Mr.
Thornberry's down there.

He hurt his toe or something.

He wants you to come
right down there.

- He probably got it caught
in a hole in his sock.

- I'm going to go
see what it is.

I'll see you, Oz.

I'll open the door
for you, Dr. Williams.

- Thanks, Ricky.

- It seems like I'm the
doorman around here.

- So long, Ricky.

- So long.

- Hiya, Pop.

- Oh, hello, Dave.

- Gee, I just heard about Mr.
Thornberry breaking his toe.

- Breaking his toe?

Who told you that?

- Ricky did.

He said he talked to Dr.
Williams's nurse on the phone.

- Oh, well, you know Thorny.

He likes to make a big
deal out of everything.

- Oh, gee, Pop, I don't know.

A broken toe can
be pretty painful.

- He probably just
turned his ankle again.

You know he's got
that weak ankle.

Remember he sprained it
last New Year's Eve doing

the Charleston?

- Oh, yeah, I
guess that's right.

[music playing]

- I just heard about
Thorny breaking his ankle.

- Thorny broke his ankle?
Who said that?

- Well, David did.

He said you told him.

- No, no, no, no.

I said if Thorny broke anything,
it was probably his ankle.

I'm sure he didn't break it.
He probably just sprained it.

You know he has that weak ankle?
[doorbell rings]

Oh, there's somebody
at the front door.

Will you get that?

- Rick, will you get the door?

- OK.

Oh, Hi, Mr. Darby.
Come on in.

- Hi, Ricky.
Is your dad home?

- Yes, sir, he's right in there.

It's Mr. Darby, Pop!

- Hi, Darb.
- Hi, Oz.

I just wondered if you'd heard
anything new about Thorny.

- No, nothing new.

- How'd he do it?

Do you know?

- Well, my guess is he
had a hole in his sock

and caught his toe in it.

- Well, how could he
break his leg that way?

- Broke his leg?

- Oh, well, that's terrible.

We just thought he
broke his ankle.

That's bad enough.

- Now, wait a minute.

You say he broke his leg?

- That's what I heard.

- Oh, this is awful.

I've been making jokes about--

Pardon me.

I'd better phone Doc.

- Where'd you hear
about it, Darb?

- Joe Randolph told
my wife about it.

I don't know where he heard
it, but he seemed pretty sure

of his information.
- Hello?

This is Ozzie Nelson.

Is Dr. Williams there?

Oh, uh, well, I wanted to speak
to him about Mr. Thornberry.

Do you know where the doctor is?

Oh, I see.

Well, thank you very much.

- Was Doc there?

- No, Doc went over
to the hospital.

His nurse said it
was an emergency.

- Gee, that does sound serious.

- It certainly does.

- Well, it sounds like
a compound fracture.

They wouldn't take
him to the hospital.

- Yes.

- Hey, we have about $15
in the "get well" fund.

Why don't I buy a gift for him
from the lodge brothers and we

can take it over to the
hospital and give it to him?

- That's a very good idea.

- Gee, I feel so awful.

I've been saying such terrible
things about the poor guy.

- You didn't know.

- I just saw him two hours ago.

My, you just never know, do you?

- You saw him this morning?

- Yes.

He did the nicest thing.

He dropped by the house to
remind me to pay my lodge dues.

Here you are, Oz.

- Poor Thorny.

[music playing]

- Bye, Darb.

There's still nobody
home at the Thornberry's.

- They're probably all
down at the hospital.

- Do you think we
ought to go down there?

- Well, no, not right now.

There's probably a lot
of confusion and all.

They're just
checking the man in.

Why don't we let him
rest up for a while

and go down and see
him a little later?

- Where are you going?

- Down to the emporium.

- Are you going to
buy those golf clubs?

- Oh, no.

I'm going to get a gift
for Thorny, you know,

with the "get well" fund money.

- Oh, that's nice.

What are you going
to get for him?

- Oh, I don't know.

The usual, I guess.

Some candy or some magazines.

I might even get him a book.

They were discussing
one on television,

it sounded pretty good.

"The Return of the Sea Rover."

- I think Thorny's read that.

- Oh, yes, I know,
but I haven't.

- Fine thing.

Buy a gift for your best
friend so you can borrow it.

- He'd do the same for me.

I'll see you a little later.

- Can I help you, sir?

- Oh, yes.

Could you tell me where the
book department is, please?

- Oh, it's up on
the third floor.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- By the way, if you're
looking for a good novel,

may I suggest this, "The
Return of the Sea Rover."

- Oh, I've heard
a lot about that.

[music playing]

- Did you find it, sir?

- Oh, uh, what was that?

- The book department.

- Oh, oh.

Yeah, I think you said it
was on the third floor.

- That's right, third floor.

Beautiful clubs, aren't they?

- They sure are.

- They're all on sale, you know?

- Yeah, I know.

I saw your ad in the paper.

- It's pretty hard to resist
a bargain like this, isn't it?

- I must admit, they're
reasonably priced.

- They certainly are.

If you need clubs, now's
the time to buy them.

- Oh, well, it
wasn't for myself.

I was trying to pick out a
gift for a friend of mine,

next-door neighbor.

- Is he a golfer?

- Well, that's kind
of a moot question.

Let's say he plays
a lot of golf.

- Well, if you don't
mind my saying so,

you couldn't buy him a
nicer gift than this.

Let's check the
balance on these clubs.

- Yeah, they sure look nice.

I think I'll take
these, the four woods.

- OK, sir.

Say, as long as
this is a gift, why

don't you let me initial
the clubs for your friend?

- Oh, I didn't
know you did that.

- Oh, yes, we do it quite often.

It's kind of a
nice idea, I think.

We can engrave the initials
right on the club head.

- Oh, yeah.

- What are the initials?

- Well, his nickname
is Thorny, T-H-O-R-N-Y.

Is that too much
to put on there?

- No, no, no, that'd be fine.
Thorny.

- Oh, uh, say, I only
have $15 with me.

Could I pay that
as a down payment

and then pay you the balance
when I pick up the clubs?

- Sure, that'd be fine.

- Oh, and I'd like to have them
gift-wrapped, if you could,

please.
- Fine, we'll do that for you.

I'm sure he'll get a
lot of fun out of these.

What's the occasion?

A birthday or anniversary?

- An accident.
He broke his leg.

He's in the hospital.

- Oh, wow.

[music playing]

- Oh, hi, dear.

- You weren't gone very long.

Did you get a nice
gift for Thorny?

- Oh, a beautiful
set of golf clubs.

Wait till you see them.

- A set of golf clubs?

- Well, not exactly a whole set.

I got him the four woods.
Wait till you see them.

They're absolutely beautiful.

- Well, that's a
funny gift to get

for a man who's in the
hospital with a broken leg.

- Well, no, I didn't
want to waste the money.

I wanted to get him
something practical.

- Well, that's what I mean.

I thought you were going
to get him some books.

- Harriet, you're missing
the whole point of this.

Here's a guy in the
hospital with a broken leg.

Don't you see?
This is a perfect gift.

This is an inducement for
him to get well quick,

get out in the open, play some
golf, get on his feet again.

- Well, I still
think candy and books

have been more appropriate.
- Well, wait till you see these.

They're absolutely beautiful.

- Are you sure you bought
the clubs for Thorny?

- Well, sure.

I even had his name
inscribed on them.

- Oh, don't trust yourself, huh?

[doorbell rings]

- Uh, Rick, will you see
who's at the front door?

- He's not home.
- Oh.

[doorbell rings]

Just a second.

- Hiya, Pop.

I just wanted to see who answers
the door when I'm not here.

Don't close it.

Mr. Darby's out there.

- Oh!
Sorry.

Come on in, Darb.
- Hi, Oz.

Did you get the
present for Thorny?

- Boy, I sure did.

Wait till you see it.

It's absolutely beautiful.

Of course, it may seem
like kind of a strange gift

to get a guy with a broken leg.

- What'd you get
him, a pair of skis?

- No, no, no, not that.

I got him some golf clubs.

They're having a sale on
them down at the emporium.

- Some golf clubs?
- Yeah.

Here, let me take your hat.
Sit down.

Wait till you see them.
They're absolutely beautiful.

I even got his name
inscribed on them.

- And you got all that for $15?

- Oh, no, I didn't have quite
enough in the fund to cover it,

but I thought maybe
the guys in the lodge

might not mind chipping in.

Of course, I'll have to phone
them and ask for a donation.

- Look, Oz, you've
done enough already.

Let me call them up.

- You know, Darb, I've been
treasurer for three years,

and you're the first
guy who's ever offered

to help me with anything.

- Well, I'm glad to do it.

I'll tell you what I'll do,
I'll go down to the store

and pick up the
clubs for you, too.

- No, no, Darb, that
won't be necessary.

You're making the phone calls.

That's plenty.

- Please, Oz, let me do it.

You won't have time.

- I have nothing else to do.

- But don't you have
to work on the books?

- No, I finished
with those, finally.

Thank goodness.

- Yeah, that's too bad.

- What's the matter?

- Well, Thorny got Joe
Randolph and Wally Dipple

to pay up their back dues, too.

[music playing]

- Oh, Harriet?
- What are you looking for?

- Don't we have
another bottle of ink

here some place in the kitchen?

- Oh, yes, right in the drawer.

- This drawer here?
- No, dear.

The drawer over here
by the breadbox.

- You know, this is probably
an awful thing to say,

but if Thorny had
to break his leg,

why couldn't he have broken
it last night before he

paid his dues?

Hey!

- Well, there's Thorny.

- [whistling]

- Thorny, what are you doing?

- Oh, hi, Oz!

Oh, I'm just practicing
up on my dance routine.

I figured they may call
on me to entertain again

at the lodge smolka this year.

- Well, what about your leg?

- What's the matter,
I tear my pants?

- No, I thought you broke it!

- Oh, no, nothing like that.

But you know the
darnedest thing happened.

I was going around reminding
all the boys to pay their dues,

and I caught my toe
in a hole in my sock.

For a while, I thought
the darn thing was broken.

- Didn't you go over to
Doc Williams's office?

- Yeah, and a fine guy
he turned out to be.

Gee, I waited around there,
but he never showed up.

It seems he had to go over to
the hospital on some emergency

case.

His nurse took
care of me, though.

She sewed up the
hole in my sock.

- What's the matter, Oz?

You look worried.

- Gee, this is
terribly disappointing.

I thought you broke your leg.

Oh, I don't mean disappointing.

It just kind of, uh--

well, I'll, uh--

- Yeah.

[whistling]

- Boy, what an
embarrassing spot to be in.

Here, I've gotten
all the guys to chip

in for the golf clubs for
Thorny and he isn't even hurt.

What am I going to
tell the lodge members?

- Well, you'd better
think of an explanation,

because there's a bunch of them
in the living room right now.

- In our living room?
- Yes.

Darby picked up the
clubs, and they're

waiting for you to go over
to the hospital with them

to see Thorny.

- Oh, this is awful.

I don't mind giving
them back their money,

but the embarrassment,
and the money.

That's what I get for
accepting the job of treasurer

in the first place.

- And the second
and third place.

- Oz?

- Oh, Thorny!
What are you doing here?

- Oz, I was worried about you.
You looked sick.

- Well, come back later,
would you please, Thorny?

- Wait a minute!
What are you doing?

- We're busy in here.

Thank you.

- Come on.

Gang's all waiting for you.

- Oh, oh, Darb, I was just, uh--

- Just coming in.

- Just coming in.

- Come on, let's go.

- Go ahead, dear.

You have to face it some time.

- Well, here he is, fellas.

- Oh, hiya, fellas.
- Hi, Oz!

- Hi.

- Say, Darby took a peek at the
clubs when he picked them up,

and he says they're beautiful.
- Yeah.

Well, there's something--
- Well, Thorny deserves them.

He's a nice fella.

- Well, let's get over
to the hospital, boys.

- Uh--
[knocking]

Oh, uh, pardon me.
There's somebody at the door.

- Well, I'll get it, Oz!
- No, no, no, no!

No, no, pardon me.
Uh, pardon me.

I'm sorry.
- I'll get it, Pop.

- No, that's OK, son.
I'll get it.

- You mean I'm fired?

I've been doorman all day.

- Hey, Oz--

Oz, Oz!

What are you trying to do?

Break my leg?

- Thorny, will you
please get out of here?

- Oz, what's the
matter with you?

Is Doc Williams in there?

- Well, uh, why do
you want to know?

- Well, there are a lot
of cars out in front,

and there's a car
that looks like Doc's.

I got to see him about my toe.

- Oh!

- Hi, fellas.

Having a little meeting?

- Uh, fellas, I'm
terribly sorry,

but Thorny's leg isn't broken.

- No kidding, Oz.

You should have been a doctor.

- No, honestly, I'll
personally refund your money.

- What money?

- I might as well tell you.

We thought you were in the
hospital with a broken leg,

and we got together and
bought a gift for you.

- You bought this for me?

- Yeah, these, uh, golf clubs.

See, we even had your
name inscribed on them.

- I don't believe it.

- Well, look, you
can see for yourself.

On the club head, "Ozzie."

"Ozzie"?

- That's your name, isn't it?

- Read the card.

- "To Ozzie.

An appreciation for his tireless
efforts as lodge treasurer

and for being such a swell guy."

Gee, fellas, I don't
know what to say.

- I hereby nominate Oz
treasurer for next year!

- For he's a jolly good fellow!

For he's a jolly good fellow!

For he's a jolly good fellow
which nobody can deny.

- Gosh.

All I can say is that's
the lousiest singing I ever

heard in my life.

[laughter]

- Hey, Mom?

- Yes, dear?

- What's your honest
opinion of rock-and-roll?

- Well, I'm not a
good one to ask.

Your father and I have been
pretty well brainwashed by now,

so I can at least stay
in the same room with it.

- Come on, Mom.

I know you like some of it.

- Well, I must admit there's
a lot of excitement to it.

I guess it's the
musical expression

of the modern teenager's
enthusiasm or something.

I'm not going to knock it,
I'll tell you that much.

- I think teenagers like
to feel that they're just

people with normal,
average reactions,

and rhythm and blues
records usually tell a story

or express an emotion.

- Oh, I agree with that.

In fact, it leads
right into your song.

Here, I'll give you a downbeat.

[music playing]

- [SINGING] A teenager's
romance is fickle or true.

A teenager's romance
is red hot or blue.

You're either in misery
or high on a crest.

A teenager's romance
is like all the rest.

They tell us we're different.

We haven't the right to
decide for ourselves, dear,

what's black and what's white.

Keep saying you
love me, and they'll

look upon a teenager's
romance that goes on and on.

They tell us we're different.

We haven't the right to
decide for ourselves, dear,

what's black and what's white.

Keep saying you
love me, and they'll

look upon a teenager's
romance that goes on and on.

A teenager's romance
that goes on and on.

[ending theme]

- "Ozzie and Harriet" are
brought to you by Kodak,

makers of new Verichrome
Pan film for the best

black-and-white snapshots that
ever came out of your camera.

This has been an ABC television
network film presentation.