All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S05E14 Ozzies Double 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

NARRATOR: Eastman
Kodak Company is

delighted to bring you America's
favorite family, the Nelsons:

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

They like to go places, enjoy
happy times together, and like

most of us, they enjoy these
moments over again in pictures.

These days, Eastman Kodak
brings you exciting new things

in picture-taking.

New Kodak cameras,
so easy to use.

And so good-looking,
you'll be proud to wear one

wherever you go.

Then, too, there's
flash, so you can

take pictures
indoors or at night

as easily as outdoor snaps.

And there's new Verichrome
Pan, the black and white film

that makes you look
better in any light.

Even color film for
the camera you now own.

There are new thrills, new
rewards like this for everyone

who remembers to take
along the camera.

And now Eastman Kodak company
brings you "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet".

- Oh, I know, we wouldn't
want to miss it for anything.

Maybe I could meet
you somewhere.

Do you have the
tickets with you?

- I'll see you in
a little while.

- Ozzie?

Just a minute, Mrs. Brewster.

What time was your
appointment with Doc Williams?

- Well, 11:30.

Oh, where are you
now, Mrs. Brewster?

- OK, I'll be back
in about two hours.

- Oh, just a second.

Will you be going
by the Emporium?

- Well, I could go
by there, I suppose.

- Ozzie'll meet you in
front of the Emporium

in about 20 minutes.

Fine.

Goodbye.

Would you do an errand for me?

- Well, do I have any choice?

- Not unless you want to leave
Mrs. Brewster standing out

in front of the Emporium.

- OK, what do I have to do?

- Just give her this check.

- Gee, I hope I know her.

- Oh, I'm sure you will.

She's a very nice looking
woman, about middle age.

You'll remember
when you see her.

- Say, wait a minute.

Isn't she chairman of
that Bach festival thing

they're giving tomorrow night?

- Yes.

- Well, Harriet, I don't want
to go to any Bach festival.

- All right, dear.

- Well, I really mean it.

- OK.

- Well, isn't this a check
for tickets for the thing?

- Yes.

- What's the sense of buying
tickets if we're not going?

- Well, I thought we ought to
have them around just in case

you change your mind.

- Believe me, I'm not
going to change my mind.

- OK, dear.

- No, I mean it.

I don't want to go
to the Bach festival.

- Wait a minute.

Aren't you going
wear your top coat?

- What do I need a top coat for?

- Well, I don't want
you to catch cold.

- Oh, don't worry.
I'm not going to catch cold.

- You might.

You'd do anything to get out
of going to the Bach festival.

- I won't catch a cold just
to get out of going to that.

- Then how are you
going to get out of it?

- Ah.

Do you want me to be late
meeting Mrs. Brewster?

- No.
- Well, then say goodbye to me.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Now, I'm not going
to the Bach festival.

- I know you're not.

Ozzie?

- Yes?

- Take a good look
at the tickets.

Make sure they're good seats.

[music playing]

- These will do fine.

Hey, you want to have
lunch with me, Doc?

- Oh, no thanks, Cliff.

I've got to get
back to the office.

I got an appointment
with Oz in a few minutes.

He's coming in for
his annual checkup.

- I doubt if he'll
be there on time.

- Why do you say that?

- Well, look.

- I tell you, Addie.

I just don't like the idea
of the jewelry department.

- Most people who are buying
jewelry have a lot of cash,

don't they?

Remember the chap in Buffalo?

I lifted his wallet and it
had at least $500 in it.

- It's too dangerous.

There aren't enough
people around.

- Oh, come off it.

Who needs crowds?

Why, your old lady could lift
a wallet at a football game.

I happen to take a little
pride in what I do.

- Wonder who the
girl is with him?

- Probably some
friend of Harriet's.

- Half the fun of it is in
the spirit of adventure.

It's why I go for you, baby.

- Addie, please.

- Somehow she doesn't look
like a friend of Harriet's.

It is Oz, isn't it?

- It sure looks like him.

- Now, shall we get
a bite to eat, duck?

- Here they come.

- Well, what do
you make of that?

He acted like he
didn't even know us.

- Well, maybe he
just didn't see us.

- Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

- Mr. Nelson is here, doctor.

Thank you.

Ask him to come in.

- You can come right
in, Mr. Nelson.

- Well, thank you.

Hi, Doc.

Yeah, I'm sorry to be late.

- That's OK.

- I had to meet this
friend of Harriet's.

- At the Emporium?

- Oh, yeah, how did you know?
- I was there.

You walked right past me.

- Oh, no kidding.

Why don't you yell at me?

- Well, frankly, I wasn't
sure you wanted to say hello.

- Are you kidding, Doc?

I just didn't see you.

Where were you?

- In the Emporium, by
the necktie counter.

- Oh.

Well, see, I wasn't
inside the store at all.

- You just said you had to meet
this friend of Harriet's there.

- Well, yes.

Outside, in front
of the Emporium.

See, I had to give this check
to this lady for some tickets

for the Bach festival.

Middle aged woman, grayish hair.

- Middle aged woman
with grayish hair?

- Well, yes.

- Are you sure you
weren't in the Emporium

today talking to a
flashy looking redhead?

- Are you kidding, Doc?

Of course not.

- OK.

Take off your coat and
roll up your sleeve.

- Go ahead, give me
the lie detector test.

You'll see if I'm
telling the truth or not.

- Oh, look, Oz.

I'm just going to take
your blood pressure.

I'm your doctor, not
the district attorney.

[music playing]

- Oh, hi, dear.
Did you get the tickets?

- Yeah, I got them right here.

But I'm not going to
the Bach festival.

- What did Doc say?

- Well, how did you know?

- How'd I know what?

- About what Doc said.

- About what?

- Well, not about
what, about who.

- About whom.

- A redhead.

Somebody else supposed
to have seen me with her?

- Seen you where?

- Down at the Emporium.

- Would you mind coming in
and starting this conversation

from the beginning?

- I came in here and you
asked me what did Doc say,

and I want to know
how you knew about it.

- You went down to Doc's office
for a checkup, didn't you?

I want to know what
he said about you.

- Oh, about me?

Oh, he said I was
fine, in perfect shape.

- Now, wait a minute.

What's all this about a
redhead at the Emporium?

- The Doc got the
crazy idea he saw me

down there with this girl.

- Oh, he was probably
just kidding.

He's trying to bring up your
blood pressure or something.

- No.

I don't think so.

He was real serious.

It was strange.

- You know, now
that you mention it,

Clara phoned to tell me how
much she liked our new car.

- What new car?

- Well, I don't know.

She said she saw you driving
in a yellow convertible.

- Do you suppose there could
be somebody in this town who

looks exactly like me?

- Well, I've heard
about things like that.

- Well, it must be.

How else do you
explain this redhead

and the yellow convertible?

- Well, don't look at me.

You were the one who
was seen with her.

- I know.

I don't know what
they're talking about.

- Oh, I know it.

But just the thought of
it's pretty frightening.

- Oh, you mean me
with another girl?

- No.

A redhead in a
yellow convertible.

What a color combination.

- Wait a minute.

If you're going downtown,
I'm going with you.

I need witnesses.

- Isn't it a beautiful day?

- Yeah, sure is.

[music playing]

- Ozzie?

- What's the matter?

- Well, this is fantastic.

I just saw him.
- Saw who?

- The man who looks like you.

He ran out of the jewelry
store and he got in the car

with a girl and he drove off.

- In that yellow convertible?

- Yeah, that's right.

- Well then, I was right.

That must be the man
everybody thinks is me.

- There he is.

There's the man right there.

Officer, arrest this man.

This man stole my purse.

It had over $200 in it.

- Who, me?

Well, this is ridiculous!

- Are you sure this is the man?
- I'm positive.

I'd know him anywhere.

Give me back my purse!

- I'm sorry.

You've made a mistake.

- Oh, you must
mean the other man.

No wonder he was
in such a hurry.

- What other man?

- Well, there's another man
who looks just like my husband.

- That's right, officer.

Everybody mistakes him for me.

He even fooled my doctor.

- Oh, your doctor?

- Believe me.

I'm a perfectly
respectable citizen.

My name is Nelson,
this is my wife.

Mr. Ryan can identify me.

- That's right.

That's Mr. Nelson.

He's been a customer
of mine for years.

And he never stole
anything from me, that is,

to the best of my knowledge.

- I can understand
why you were confused.

The other man look
just like my husband.

- Are you sure you're
not mistaken, lady?

- Well, I guess I must be.

I'm awfully sorry.

The resemblance is amazing.

- Officer, it oughtn't to be
too hard to find this other man.

All you have to do is look
for somebody who's a double

for my husband.

- I'd sure like to catch him.

We've had six complaints
in the past two days.

This is the first good
description we've had.

- Well, say, here's an idea.

If this man
resembles me so much,

why don't you run
a picture of me

in the newspaper warning people
to be on the lookout for anyone

who fits my description?

- Well, thank you
very much, sir.

But we couldn't
ask you to do that.

- Oh, why not?

It's only my civic duty.

Besides, I don't
want to get blamed

for everything this guy does.

- I suppose you
have a point there.

- Well, sure.

I'll go home and get
a picture and I'll

take it right down to
the police station now.

- We'd sure appreciate that.
- Please forgive me.

I'm sorry.

- Oh, well, that's OK.

Those things will happen.

Well, I'll meet you down there,
say, in about a half an hour,

officer.

- OK.

[music playing]

[music playing]

- Oh, hi boys.
- Hi, Pop.

- Just a second, David.

How do we know this
is the genuine Pop?

This man may be the pickpocket.

- Yeah, you got a point there.

Boy, that was quite an
experience, wasn't it?

- Yeah, but I'll bet it
wasn't very funny when

it happened yesterday.

- You're darn right it wasn't.

I've often heard the old
theory that everybody

has a double
someplace, but I never

thought it'd strike
this close to home.

- Somehow I just
can't think of you

as looking like a pickpocket.

- Well, somehow I just
can't think of myself

as looking like a pickpocket.

- That takes a lot of skill
though, doesn't it, Pop?

- Being a pickpocket?

Well, I suppose, in a way.

See, they operate on the
same principle as a magician.

They divert your attention by
bumping into you or something

and then they get
in their dirty work.

See, those guys nearly
always work in crowds

where people are jostling
each other a lot anyway.

- It seems to me
a guy would have

to be awful careless to
get his pocket picked.

- No.

Not necessarily, Dave.

See, a lot depends on
where you carry your money.

Now, for instance, you
always carry your wallet

in your back pocket.

Boy, you're a
regular invitation.

- Only thing, though, I
never have any money in it.

- Still pretty hard to get a
guy's wallet out of his pocket,

though, isn't it, Pop?
- Well, no.

No, not out of his back
pocket, especially if you

bump into him at the same time.

Here, I'll show you what I mean.

Come over here where we
have a little more room.

Look.

Suppose you guys are standing
on a corner waiting for a bus.

Stand real close together.

I come walking down the
street nonchalantly.

Pardon me, sir.

Of course I'm kind of clumsy.

These guys are
pretty clever at it.

Besides, David's wearing
these Ivy League pants.

Well, anyway, that gives
you kind of a general idea.

Well, I want to talk to
your mother about something.

If the afternoon paper gets
here, let me know, will you?

My picture is
supposed to be in it.

- OK, Pop.

- Pop?

- Yeah?

- What time is it?

- Hey, what happened
to my watch?

How'd you get that?

- They showed you
how on television.

Hey, Pop?

If you ever want to
get hypnotized...?

- No, no.

You just hang this
bag over your arm.

- Oh, come on, dear.

I'm peeling potatoes.

- I just want to show you
how these guys operate.

- Well, couldn't we
use a shoulder bag?

It'd be a little less difficult.

- No, this is perfect.

There.

Now, you're riding on the bus.

- I'm riding on the
bus peeling potatoes.

- You're riding on the bus
minding your own business.

What you don't realize is
the man standing next to you

is a pickpocket.

Sway a little.

Give it a feeling of realism.

All of a sudden the
bus comes to a stop.

Oh, pardon me, Madam.

So sorry.

I get off here.

This is my stop.

There.

Didn't feel a thing, did you?

- Well, no, but I've still got
my handbag and it still closed.

- That's just the point
I'm trying to make.

See, I diverted your attention.

You thought I was going
for the bag and look,

I stole one of your potatoes.

And a big one, too.

- OK.

The next time I
need some potatoes,

I'll send you out on the bus.

- Here's the paper, Pop.
- Oh, gee.

Thanks, Dave.
Is my picture in it?

- Yes.

A swell one, too.

- Hope this does some good.

- What does it say?

- "Police today
warned citizens to be

on the lookout for a pickpocket
who is working in the downtown

area.

If you see this man,
notify the police.

He is wanted in several states."

- Gee, everybody will think
you're the pickpocket.

- No, no.

It goes on to explain here.

"The police were fortunate in
obtaining this picture of--

continued on page 12--" page 12?

What?

There is no page 12!

- Maybe the real
pickpocket lifted page 12.

- This is a fine thing.

Everybody will think this is me.

- Yes, especially
since it is you.

- Yes, she is.

Mom, it's for you.
Oh.

Thanks, dear.

- Just a second, Miss Randolph.

- Hello, Clara.

- Ricky, stop taking my watch.

Now, that isn't funny.

- Yes, we just saw it.

No, Ozzie gave his picture
to the police yesterday.

You see, the real pickpocket
looks just like Ozzie.

- Ask her if she got a
page 12 in her paper.

- By the way, did you get
a page 12 in your paper?

No, she didn't
get the paper yet.

Mary Dunkle phoned her about it.

- Fine thing.

It's all over town.

- Yeah, I'll call you back
and tell you about it, Clara.

Yes, goodbye.

- It's a big mistake.

I never should have let the
police talk me into this.

- Well, they didn't exactly
talk you into it, dear.

- This is a pretty good
picture of you, though, Pop.

- Oh, yeah, I gave
them the picture.

I never thought they'd
handle the thing in such

a slipshod manner.

This is what I get for trying
to be a public spirited citizen

and help out.
- Well, you did help out.

Now the pickpocket will be
afraid to show his face.

- What do I care about him?

I'll be afraid to show mine.

I have to put on a disguise
to walk down the street.

- That might not
be a bad idea, Pop.

Wonder if the pickpocket's
still in town?

- It's an awfully good
photo of you, Addie.

- You know very well
it's not my photo at all.

- I'm going to cut
it out and save it.

He looks more like
you than you do.

You're in a spot
now, though, Addie.

Everybody will
recognize your face.

- It's quite obvious you've
underestimated me, baby.

- What are you
going to do, Addie?

- I'm going to
put on a disguise.

Mustache.

Glasses.

There.

How do I look?

- There.

How do I look?

- Not bad at all.

- It's the only way I
can get out of the house.

- You know, I kind of
like you with a mustache.

- Oh, thank you, dear.

- Yeah, it gives you sort
of a distinguished look,

a real patron of the
arts, a music lover.

The kind of man who likes
to go to Bach festivals.

- Harriet, it's no use.

I'm not going to the
Bach festival tonight.

- Well, why not?

No one would
recognize you anyway

with that silly
looking mustache.

- Silly looking?

A minute ago you said
I look distinguished.

- Well, a minute
ago I thought you

might go to the Bach festival.

- Well, I'm not going
and that's final.

- Oh, come on, dear.

It's for such a worthy cause.

All the proceeds go
to the police fund.

- Oh, that's fine.

What are you trying to do,
get me arrested or something?

Place will be
crawling with cops.

- Well, then you'd be safe.

They wouldn't expect to
pickpocket to show up there.

- Harriet, I'm not a pickpocket.

- I know it, dear.

You just look like one.

In fact, you don't even look
like one with that disguise on.

Besides, I could identify you.

- Well, that's comforting.

- Wish you'd change your mind,
after I went out and bought

the album and everything.

- What album is that?

- Oh, the Bach album.

I thought I might
get you interested.

- Oh.

Oh, gee.

Well, as long as you
went to all that trouble.

- You mean you'll go?

- Well, not to the concert.

I'll go down to the record shop
and exchange the album for you.

- OK, but it's a police pick
you up at your own fault.

- Are you kidding?

I can't even recognize myself.

- Here you are, sir.

If you'll just take it to the
section manager and have him OK

it, we'll refund your money.

- Thank you very much.

Just the album.

Oh, Hello, Mrs. Brewster.

- Oh, hello, Mr.

- Nelson.
Ozzie Nelson.

Remember I met you in front
of the Emporium yesterday?

You gave me the tickets
for the Bach festival.

- Oh yes, yes, hello.

- Nice to see you.

- My goodness, I
didn't recognize you.

Why, you've grown a
mustache since yesterday.

- Oh, I didn't exactly grow it.

- Isn't that wonderful?

- It's nice to see you.

- Well, thank you.

I'll see you tonight.

- Oh, there's a
possibility we may not

be able to make it tonight.

- Oh, what a shame.
- Yes.

- Oh, do try.

It's going to be such
a marvelous concert.

- Yes, so my wife
has been trying to--

so I understand.

Well, it's nice to see you.
- Thank you.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- May I help you, Madam?

- Yes.

Do you have a copy of the
Hungarian dance number four?

- I believe we do.

Pardon me just a moment.

- Surely.

- Take a look at the
old girl over there

looking at the records.

It's like a bit of soft
touch for your uncle Addie,

though, right?

- Right-o.

- Meet you back at the
hotel lobby in half an hour.

- Right-o.

- Oh, pardon me, Madam.

- Oh, Mr. Nelson.

You know, I've been
thinking, it's just

a shame to waste those tickets
to the concert this evening.

What about David and Ricky?

What are they doing tonight?

- David has another engagement
and Ricky has an appointment

at the beauty parlor.

He's in for a permanent.

- Well, how extraordinary.

- Yes.

It's-- well-- pardon me.

I play this record.

- Oh, Mrs. Brewster,
you still here?

- Well, Mr. Nelson, that
certainly was quick.

- Yes, it was.

Wasn't it?

- You know, I just
can't get over Ricky.

- Oh yeah, he is
growing tall, isn't he?

Wouldn't you say?

- No, no, no.

I mean about his
getting his hair curled.

- His hair curled?

- You know, it's very strange.

Is that the same coat you were
wearing a few moments ago?

- Well, yes, of course.

Addie?

- Pardon me.

Yes, were you
looking for somebody?

- Addie, it's me.

- I'm afraid you got
the wrong fellow.

- Oh...

Oh, of course, I'm
terribly sorry.

- Oh, it's OK.
- Pardon me, Madam.

Here's your record.

- Oh, thank you.

How much will that be?

[gasps] My purse!

It's gone.

Somebody stole my purse!

- Are you sure?
- Oh, yes.

Yes, I was just standing here
talking to this gentleman.

- That's right.

She's just standing
here talking to me.

- Say, you look familiar.

- Oh, yes.

You probably saw my
picture in the paper.

- Mr. Jensen?

Mr. Jensen?
Yes?

- Arrest this man.

He's the pickpocket.

- I'm not the pickpocket.

- What seems to be
the trouble here?

- Oh, well, this young
lady is mistaken.

She thinks I'm a pickpocket.
But I'm not.

- Here's his picture
right here in the paper.

- Isn't this your picture?

- Yes, that's my picture.

Could we move over
here a little bit?

Kind of drawing a crowd.

See, this is what
happens when you

try to be a public
spirited citizen.

This is my picture, but I
gave it to the newspaper

because I happen to
resemble this pickpocket.

And I thought maybe this would
help the police identify him.

- It's a pretty wild story,
don't you think so, Mister?

Oh, maybe so.

But it's the truth.

- Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen,
I beg your pardon.

I beg your pardon.

- I'll be darned.

- My goodness, they
look exactly alike.

Which one is Mr. Nelson?

- Oh, I am.

- Well, you know I'm Mr. Nelson.

- You are?

- Yes, of course.

- This is ridiculous.

I'm Ozzie Nelson.

- Are you sure?

- Well, certain-- look.

See the mustache?

It's a phony.

I never wear the glasses.

- He does look like Mr. Nelson.

I think I'm going to faint.

- Look, officer, I tell
you I'm Ozzie Nelson.

- You have any identification?

- Well, yes.

My wallet...

- Oh, if it's a identification
you want, officer.

I think this is true
that I'm Ozzie Nelson.

- He picked my pocket!

- He did not.

Mr. Nelson wouldn't
do a thing like that.

- Oh, Mrs. Brewster.

- I think we better
take a little ride

down to headquarters.

There's nothing else for
me to do, Mrs. Nelson.

I've brought them both in so
you can make the identification.

- Oh, I'm sure I'll
recognize my own husband.

- Sit down, will you, please?
- Thank you.

- Bring them in,
will you, Jackson?

- He has both men outside.

They'll be in just a moment.

[music playing]

Would tell us, Mrs. Nelson,
which one of these men

is your husband?

- Well, this is fantastic.

- May I suggest you ask
them some personal question?

Perhaps something
about your family.

I think I have a better
idea, if you don't mind.

My husband and I have
been looking forward

to a very special
occasion, so he'll

be able to finish this
sentence correctly.

Tonight, I am
taking my wife to--

- The movies?

- Nope.

- The Bach festival.

That's my husband.

Oh, I think maybe we
better shake hands

until I'm absolutely sure.

- Sure.

- Sorry to cause you folks
all this inconvenience.

- Oh, it's perfectly all right.
- It's perfectly all right.

You were just doing your duty.

Oh, and say, by
the way, but just

in case my wife and I
can't make it tonight,

could you use two tickets
to the Bach festival?

- I'm sorry, Mr. Nelson,
I'm not a married man.

[music playing]

NARRATOR: The fact
that there are

two million additional
children in our schools

this year has caused
the overcrowded school

problem to grow worse.

Three classrooms out of
every five are overcrowded.

Some localities need more
buildings, some more textbooks

and supplies, some
more transportation.

They all need our help.

Join and work with local
civic groups and school boards

actively seeking to improve
educational conditions.

Join us next week
for more "Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

Produced on Eastman film with
all the scope and realism

that only motion
pictures make possible.

And brought to you by Eastman
Kodak Company and Kodak dealers

everywhere.

This has been an ABC television
network film presentation.