All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S05E07 The Pool Table 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- Eastman Kodak Company
is happy to bring you

America's favorite
family, the Nelsons:

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

They enjoy good times together,
particularly their holidays.

And for years, they've saved
their holiday fun in snapshots.

Pictures like these
mean a lot to a family,

and when you give
a Kodak camera,

you make it easy for some
family you know to save

their good times in pictures.

When you think about
your Christmas list,

remember that you'll find lots
of exciting new Kodak cameras

at every photo counter.

You'll want to see the
Kodak camera outfits, too,

complete with film, flash
attachments, and bulbs,

so the folks on
your Christmas list

can take wonderful snapshots
or movies the first thing

Christmas morning.

These are just a few
of the many Kodak gift

ideas for you to choose from.

And now, Kodak invites you
to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- Harriet?

Harriet?

- I'm upstairs, Barbara.

Come on up.

- Oh, OK.

- Hi!

I'm just sorting out
the boys' laundry.

Come on in.
- Oh, take your time.

I just dropped by to say hello.

- The only way I can tell
whose shirt it is anymore

is by looking at the neck size.

- I know.

The boys are both
getting so big.

Hey, that shelf's a good idea.

That's new, isn't it?

- Yes, it is.

It's quite unusual, but
it's a great space-saver.

- Hmm, that's real clever.

Whose idea was that
putting the shelf up there?

- Well, I think Ozzie
deserves the credit.

It wasn't really his idea.

I think you'd call it more
of an accidental inspiration.

- Where'd he get this wood?

- Well, it's a long story,
but as the man says,

"You asked for it."

The whole thing began
about a week ago.

Ricky came in.

He was looking for a
place to do his homework.

[noise from television]

- Would it disturb anybody
if I did my homework in here?

- Not me.

- No, go right ahead, son.

The old homework comes first.

[television shuts off]

Oh.

- Gee, Pop, if you
wanted to watch it,

I could do my homework
in the kitchen.

- Oh, no, no.

The homework is
more important, son.

Go right ahead.

You sure you wouldn't rather do
your work up in your own room?

- I can't, Pop.

David's studying up
there, and there isn't

enough room for both of us.

- Not enough room?

- No, not with all the
clothes, and my record player,

and my records, and my radio,
and my tennis stuff, and books

and things.

- It is pretty crowded up there.

- Yeah, that darn David
drags more stuff home.

- I thought you were
going to build a shelf up

in the boys' room so they could
store some of their stuff.

- When did I say that?

- Well, the first time was when
David was about 10 years old.

- Really?

- Yup.

The tape measure's
in the kitchen.

- Well, I can't very
well do it tonight.

- Why not?

- Well, because David's
studying up there.

- What's that got to do with it?

- Well, Harriet, I
can't be running around

with a tape measure in my
hand while the boy's trying

to do his homework.

- No, I suppose not.

- Anything interesting
on television?

- Oh, well, uh, Dave, what
about your homework, son?

- Oh, I finished it.

- Are you sure?

- Oh, sure, Pop.

There's blood all over
the floor up there.

- Ozzie?
- Yes, I know.

The tape measure's
in the kitchen.

- Don't tell me you're
tired out already.

- Oh, hello, dear.
No, no.

I just read a very interesting
article in this billiards

and pool magazine.

Do you know what's the longest
consecutive run ever made

shooting pool?

- What's that got
to do with building

a shelf in the boys' room?

- Oh, that.

Well, I've got that
all figured out.

- Oh, where are you
going to build it?

- I'm not going to
build it anywhere.

Uh, pick up the paper
there a second, will you?

Now, uh, turn to three
pages in from the back page.

Now look in that upper
left hand corner there.

See that ad?

They're having a sale on
second-hand filing cabinets.

I'm going to buy each of
the boys a filing cabinet.

- A filing cabinet?

I don't get it.

- Well, it'll give them a
place to store their papers

and things.

Teach them to be
efficient, businesslike.

It'll keep things
neat and orderly.

A place for everything.

Everything in its place.

You can't learn those lessons
too young in life, you know?

- OK, but you're going to
miss out on a lot of fun.

- In what way?

- Well, the fun of building
a shelf in the boys' room.

- Oh.

Well, when you're
a parent, you just

have to make certain sacrifices.

- But what happened to
the filing cabinets?

I don't see them.

- Oh, Ozzie didn't get them.

- Well, didn't he go
down to the store?

- Oh, yes, he went down
to the store, all right.

As a matter of fact, I
was just walking down

the stairs when the front door
opened and Ozzie backed in.

- Where do you want it, mister?

- Right here in the living room.

Here, I'll get this
out of your way.

Yeah, that's fine.

Here.
Thanks a lot.

Buy the boys a couple of cigars.

- Oh, thank you.

- What in the world is that?

- Oh, Harriet!

Wait till you see
what we've got here.

Terrific bargain!

- Well, what are they?
Bookcases?

- No, no, no, no.

Here's something
I've wanted ever

since I've been a little boy.

Here, let me unveil it, boys.

Isn't that a
beautiful pool table?

- What are we going
to do with this?

- Well, it's a pool table!

"What are we going
to do with it."

Isn't that just like a woman?

- I think we'd better
get going, fellas.

- Thanks again, fellas.

- Thank you.

- I'll be right back
with the cuspidors.

- Oh.
- Cuspidors?

- Yes, ma'am.
They go with the table.

- Oh, uh, just
bring them right in.

- We don't want them.

- Well, they go with the tab--

- We don't want them.

- Uh, we don't want them.

- Somehow, I got the
impression that you

were going to go downtown
and get some filing

cabinets for the boys' rooms.

- Well, that was my
original intention,

but this was such
a bargain, Harriet.

I just couldn't resist it.

- Well, why didn't you
get the filing cabinets?

- Well, they were all
out of filing cabinets,

so I got the pool table instead.

- What do you mean "instead"?

- Well, as I say, I
got the pool table

that they had instead
of the filing cabinets

that they were all out of.

You remember, I was reading
about pool last night.

- Yes, I believe
I do, but what's

that got to do with
filing cabinets?

- Well, it's-- gee, let me see
if I can explain this so it

makes some sense.

- Yes, let's see.

- Well, for one thing, Harriet,
we'll have a lot of fun

with this.

I mean, pool is a
good, wholesome game.

And the table's in
wonderful condition,

except for a couple of
cigarette burns there.

And this, uh, smell of
stale beer won't last.

- Hey, where do we
get the pool table?

- How about this, huh?

I just bought it.

- Oh, this is great.

Come on, Pop, I'll
play you a game.

- All right, rack 'em up.
- Say, wait a minute.

You don't think you're going
to keep this thing in here?

- Well, just temporarily.
Do you want to join us?

- No, thank you.

Where are you going to put it?

- Well, gee, I don't know.

I'll figure out some place.

Just let us play
one game first, huh?

- Go ahead, Pop.

I'll give you all you
can get on the break.

- Where's the cue ball...?

Harriet?

Have you seen the
cue ball any place?

- It's right here in
the corner pocket.

If you play more
than one game, I'll

hit somebody on
the head with it.

[music playing]

- At-ta boy, Dave.

The table sure fits nicely
here in the den, doesn't it?

- Yeah, it sure does.

Makes it a little hard to
watch television, though.

- Heck, you can see
it fine from here.

- We'll work on that later.

Here's an interesting
shot, Dave.

Watch.

Pardon me.

Watch this now.

I drop the 1-ball in the side
pocket and the 11-ball ball

in the corner pocket
with one shot.

Was there a head on this?
Do you know?

- Afraid there was, Pop.

- Oh, there we are.

There.

As good as new.

I say the 1-ball--

- Fellas!

Ozzie, David, Ricky?

- What you say, Mom?

- Get that pool
table out of there.

- Come on, fellas.

- Can't we just shoot these
balls off the table, Pop?

- Well, OK.

Remember, if your mother
comes in, it's your idea.

Here, try this cue.

I think it's a
little straighter.

- Thanks.

- Anything any good
on television, Rick?

- Yeah, it's pretty good.

I want to take a couple shots.

- Oh, I think I've seen
this picture before.

[horn from tv]

[chuckles] Yeah.

It's the funny one.

- Trouble with you, David, you
don't hit the ball hard enough.

- What do you mean?

You're supposed to hit it
easy into the side pocket.

- Not me.

I like to hit 'em hard.

Watch this combination on the
8-ball in the corner pocket.

Man-size shot.

Pop?

- Pop?

[music playing]

- I'm sorry, boys,
but I'd like to pull

the car into the garage.

- Come on, fellas.

[music playing]

- Ozzie?

Ozzie!

David?

Ricky!

- Oh.

[chuckles] Hello, dear.

I thought this was
kind of a funny gag

here with the oranges
and the apple.

Uh, we've been shooting
a couple of games of pool

here in the kitchen,
and the table fits--

You know, I always--

OK, boys.

[music playing]

Ah!

- What do you do if it rains?

- Well, I can go in the
house, or get an umbrella,

or climb right under
the table here.

- Well, you ask
a silly question,

you get a silly answer.

- Ah!

- Don't they usually keep
these things inside the house?

- Well, yeah, but we can't
find any place to put it.

There's no room in the house.

- How come you bought it then?

- Well, it was just one of
those spur of the moment things.

I went down to the store to
buy a couple of filing cabinets

for the boys, and they
were all out of them.

And I saw this pool table
on sale, so I bought it.

- Sure is a nice table.

- Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you buy it from me?

- Oh, no, Oz, but you
sure given me an idea.

- What's that?

- Well, it would fit
perfectly in our rumpus room.

Why don't you just
put it down there

and you can come over and
play anytime you wanted?

- Oh, yeah, that sounds swell.

Is that OK with Catherine?

- Oh, sure.

Just wondering, uh, how
do we get it down there?

- Oh, well, it's not heavy.

Two guys can carry it easily.

- Well, what are we waiting for?

- David!

Ricky!

[music playing]

- Well, I give up.

Where is it?

- Where is what?

- The pool table, of course.

I haven't seen it for two days.

- Oh, it's over in
Thorny's rumpus room.

I thought you knew.

He said I could come
over there and shoot pool

any time I wanted to.

- Oh, well, that
sounds very convenient.

- Yeah, the only thing, though,
it's not working out so well.

Every time I've gone
over there to shoot pool,

they've been out.

- Say, when are
you going to put up

the shelves in the boys room?

- Oh, well, I'll get
around to it pretty soon.

I want to go over and
shoot pool tonight.

- Well, you'd better hurry
up, because Catherine told me

they were going out tonight.

- Going out again?

Gee, they go out every
night, don't they?

Hey!
- What's the matter?

- It's Thorny.

- Put your coat on.

It's cold outside.

- Hey, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz!

Hey, that pool table
was a good idea.

I just won $1 from Catherine.

- Oh, good for you.
- Oh, you should have seen her.

She tried to tell me she
used to be pretty good.

The first shot she took, she
missed the cue ball completely,

put about a six-inch
rip in the felt.

[laughs]

Don't look so worried, Oz.

I was only kidding.

- Oh.

Had me kind of scared
there for a minute.

- What's on your mind?

- Well, I thought I
might come over and shoot

a little pool tonight.

- Oh, gee, I'm
sorry, Oz, but we're

going out for the evening.
I was just going to get the car.

Why don't you come
over some other time?

- Thorny?

See, I knew you were
going out tonight,

but I thought I'd come over
and shoot a little pool anyway.

- Well, of course you're
welcome to come over, Oz.

That is, if you don't think
it'll be too lonesome.

- Oh, no, no.

- I imagine Dave and Rick
are doing their homework.

- Well, yeah, but I thought I
could get in a little practice

by myself.

- Oh, by the way,
would you be sure

and close the refrigerator
door real tight

if you get anything to eat?

- Oh.

I wouldn't do a thing like
that, not while you aren't home.

- Well, I didn't know.

Oh, and will you turn off
all the lights before you go?

We'll be getting
in a little late,

and our electric light bills
have really been murder lately.

- Oh.

Well, why don't I come over and
shoot pool some other night,

huh?
- Don't be silly.

You're perfectly welcome
to come over tonight, Oz.

I know you're not going to make
any long-distance phone calls

or take any of my cigars.

- I can watch
television tonight.

- Gee, I'm sorry, Oz, but the
television set is on the bum.

The tube's out.

- No, no, I meant watch
television over at our house.

Then, I can come over and
shoot pool some other night.

- Well, Oz, suit yourself.

But remember, you're
always welcome.

- Oh.

- Just wanted to make
sure the door was locked.

- Oh.

- Maybe I missed
something, but what

does the pool table have to
do with Ozzie's putting up

the shelf in the boys' room?

- Oh, well, that comes later.

I warned you it's a long story.

- Oh, well, go ahead.

I'm enjoying it.

Did Ozzie ever get over
to play pool at Thorny's?

- Well, not for several days.

And then one evening, I'm
afraid he resorted to trickery.

[pounding on door]

[barking like dog]

[meows]

[barking]

[squawking]

- Hey, Oz!

Oz!

Come on, let me in, will you?

- When are you going to
let me use my pool table?

- I told you before,
you're welcome to play

any night at all.

- Well, you're never home.

You're going to be home tonight?

- We're going to
be home tonight,

but we have a little
bridge party planned.

In fact, we're playing bridge
right now down at the playroom.

- Look, Thorny, no more excuses.

I'm going to shoot pool tonight.

- Does it have to be tonight?

- Yes, it does!

For one thing, I
promised Harriet

I'd build that shelf
for the boys' room.

If I go back in the house now,
she'll remind me of it again.

- Look, Oz, be reasonable.

Now, how can we play bridge
with you shooting pool?

- Oh, well, if that's
all you're worried about,

you won't bother me at all.

Come on in.

[music playing]

- Sorry about this, folks.

- Why did he come
over here to play?

- Because he's too cheap
to go to a pool room.

- Pardon me, folks.

- Oz, if we're disturbing you--

- No, no, no.

Go right ahead, Thorny.

- Your bid.
- One club.

- One heart.

- One spade.

- Five-ball in
the corner pocket.

- Oz.

- Oh, I'm sorry, folks.

Go right ahead.

- Now, what was the last bid?

- Five-ball in
the corner pocket.

- Wait a minute, folks.

Let's review the bidding.

- I think I bid two spades.

- Well, I think you
bid a club, didn't you?

- Oh, yes, one club.

- One spade.

- Four-ball in the side pocket.

- Five spades.

- Why did you raise
it to five spades?

- Well, somebody just
bid four something.

- That was the four-ball.

- Four-ball?

What rules are you playing by?

- Now wait a minute.

Oz.

- Oh, that's OK.

You're not disturbing me.

- But you're disturbing us!

Now, would you mind calling
the shots to yourself?

- Boy, temperamental.

- Your bid, my dear.

- Oz, could you play the other
side of the table, please?

- Oh.

[chuckles] Sorry.

Uh, why don't you discard
the queen of spades?

- Oh, so that's where it is.

- Oz, what are you trying to
do, give my whole hand away?

- What difference does it make
the way you're playing it?

- Would you like
to play my hand?

- Well, I could play it a darn
sight better than you're doing.

- OK, here you are.

Play it.

- Could we review
the bidding, please?

- One heart.
- One spade.

- Two notrump.

- 10-ball in the side pocket.

- Right over to your left, guys.

That's fine.

Thanks a lot.

- Oh, that's OK.

- Hold it.

- What was that all about?

- Oh, he got a new
camera for his birthday.

Come on.

- Come on, Jim, let's
get the sleeping bag.

- What's the pool
table doing back here?

- Oh, we brought it back, uh,
Ricky and some of his friends

and I. Boy, that Thorny, if
he hadn't got me so confused,

I never would have
trumped his ace.

He was my partner.

- Well, it doesn't sound to
me like you were playing pool.

- Well, no, we weren't.

We were playing bridge.

That's the reason I
brought the table back.

If I can't go over there
for a quiet game of pool

without having to
play bridge, I'll

be darned if I'm going
to leave the table over

in his rumpus room.

- Where are we going to put it?

- Oh, well, I'll
think of something.

- Hiya, Ma.
I think you know everybody here.

This is Jim.
This is Bruce.

And this is Andy.
- Hello, boys.

- Hold it, Mrs. Nelson.

- Well, thank you.

- He got a new camera
for his birthday.

Is it OK if we all
sleep here tonight, Mom?

- Well, yes, but how are
you going to work that?

- We've got our
sleeping bags with us.

- Oh, OK.
Well, good night, fellas.

- Good night, Mom.

- Good night, Mrs. Nelson.

[music playing]

- What's going on here?

- Oh, I got a wonderful
idea, Harriet.

Don't stand under there.

This rope is liable
to break any minute.

- What'd you say, Pop?

- Hang on tight, son!

- Oh, Ricky Nelson, you
get down from there!

- He's all right, Harriet.

Well, OK, lower it.

Easy.

Take it easy.

- Hang on tight, Ricky.

There must be an
easier way to do this.

- Well, we tried to
take it up the stairs,

but we couldn't get
around the bend.

- Oh, was that you?

I wonder who knocked
down all the pictures.

- Oh, well, I'll
pick those up as soon

as we get this job finished.

- Pop, why don't you
go up in the attic?

And then we'll
haul this up there,

and you can guide it
through the window.

- Yeah, that sounds
like a good idea.

Of course, we'll have to take
the windows out temporarily.

Watch it, Rick.

I think I'll ride up.

Hey, where are you going?

Don't you want to watch this?

- I think I'll go in and check
over our insurance policy.

- Oh.
[chuckles]

[music playing]

OK, boys, heave away!

A little higher.

- What's you say, Pop?

- Don't lower it!

- What'd you say?

- He said, lower away.

- Hey!
Hey!

Hold it!

- Lunch is ready.

- Thank you, fellas.

- You did say, didn't
you, that there

was some connection
between the pool table

and the shelf in the boys' room?
- Oh, yes.

Ozzie and the boys played
a couple of games of pool

that evening.

And poor ol' Oz was so
tired, he turned in early.

And that's when it happened.

[floor creaking]

[loud crash]

- What was that?

- It sounded like it
came from the boys' room.

- What happened?

Are you guys all right?

- Yeah, I guess so.

I'm just a little plastered.

- How about that?

The pool table came right
through the ceiling.

- Holy smokes!

- Oh, this is fine.

Now what do we do?

- Harriet, I told you the pool
table would solve our problem!

- What do you mean?

- Well, here's my inspiration.

I'll get some plywood
and a hammer and nails

tomorrow and get to work.

- Why, it's the pool table.

I never would have believed it.

- Neither did the man
from Popular Mechanics.

- Is somebody up
in the attic now?

- Ozzie and the boys are
shooting a game of pool.

[ending theme]

- Join us next week
for more "Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet,"
produced on Eastman film,

with all the scope and realism
that only motion pictures make

possible.

And brought to you by Eastman
Kodak Company and Kodak dealers

everywhere.

This has been an ABC television
network film presentation.