Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:04,569
[music playing]
2
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:07,920
[SINGING] Every day is
a holiday with Hotpoint.
3
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:14,536
The dishwasher stops all
your dishwashing drudgery.
4
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:22,065
Hotpoint's electric range
comes automatically.
5
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:27,592
Every day's a holiday
with Hotpoint.
6
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:31,248
The refrigerator with
wonderful frost away.
7
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:38,734
Washer and dryer mean
goodbye to wash day.
8
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:47,308
Hotpoint dealers bring you
"The Ozzie and Harriet Show."
9
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:50,093
[music playing]
10
00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,843
- And now Hotpoint presents
America's favorite family
11
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,454
comedy, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"
12
00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:05,587
starring the entire
Nelson family--
13
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,068
Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--
14
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,808
with Don DeFore as Thorny.
15
00:01:09,939 --> 00:01:12,637
[music playing]
16
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,646
- I'm not sure I could
eat any pie, Harriet.
17
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:22,691
That's such a big dinner.
18
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,736
- Oh, you can handle that.
19
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,303
- Oh, Pop, I almost forgot.
20
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,653
Can I take one of your
pictures to school tomorrow?
21
00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,046
- Picture...
Well, sure.
22
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,787
What do you need it
for, your school paper?
23
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,484
- No, sir, it's for my homework.
24
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,573
- That's the kind of homework
they give you in college.
25
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,620
What am I studying
all this junk for?
26
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,752
- Da-- what do you
mean your homework?
27
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:43,059
- Well, it's an experiment we're
conducting in our psychology
28
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,408
class.
29
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:45,714
- Aren't they using
white mice anymore?
30
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,846
- Will you please be
quiet for a while?
31
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,848
- What experiment is this, Dave?
32
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:52,547
- It's a discussion
on criminal types.
33
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,114
- Uh, criminal types?
34
00:01:54,244 --> 00:01:58,422
- If that doesn't stop your
allowance, nothing will.
35
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:01,164
- What do you mean a discussion
on criminal types, Dave?
36
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,384
- Well, it's just that our
psychology professor wants
37
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:06,691
to prove that you can't judge a
person's character by his face.
38
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,258
See, everybody in
class has to bring
39
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,304
in a picture of his father,
and then the professor
40
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:12,741
mixes them up with pictures
of known criminals.
41
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,743
And then the class has
to separate the fathers
42
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,005
from the criminals.
43
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,920
- That sounds interesting to me.
44
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,530
- Yeah, I think so.
45
00:02:19,661 --> 00:02:20,531
What do you say, Pop?
46
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,316
Can I have one?
47
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,013
- Sounds kind of silly to me,
but if that's your assignment,
48
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,014
go ahead.
49
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,407
- Gee, thanks a lot.
50
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,104
Any special picture
you'd like me to take?
51
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,105
- No, I don't care.
52
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,585
Take anyone you like.
53
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:32,978
There are a lot of them
in the album upstairs.
54
00:02:33,109 --> 00:02:35,851
- Uh, pardon me, I think I'll
get one before I forget it.
55
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:38,114
- The album's on the top
shelf of our closet, Dave.
56
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,681
- Thanks, Mom.
57
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:42,901
- Sounds like a very
interesting experiment to me.
58
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:45,034
- Well, yes, but
anybody who thinks
59
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,254
you can't judge a person's
character by his face
60
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,777
just isn't being realistic.
61
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,518
- Oh, I disagree with you there.
62
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,694
I don't think you can tell a
darn thing by a person's face.
63
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,217
- Well, of course
you can, Harriet.
64
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,567
Everything a man thinks,
everything he does,
65
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,526
shows up in his face.
66
00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:00,310
There are certain
little characteristics
67
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:01,485
you just can't miss.
68
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,661
- Such as what?
69
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:06,838
- Well, I don't
know specifically.
70
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,624
But I do think I can judge
a person's character pretty
71
00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:11,234
well by his face.
72
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,454
- Have you seen the
evening paper yet?
73
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,238
- No, I haven't.
74
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:19,111
- Well, we'll just make a little
test and see how good you are.
75
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:22,114
How do you feel about this man?
76
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,115
- Here, let me see.
77
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,116
- Ah, no, no, no.
78
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,205
Just look at the picture.
79
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,685
- Oh.
80
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,209
Why don't you give
me something hard?
81
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,949
This guy is easy.
82
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:35,519
You notice the sloping brow
and the deep-set, beady-looking
83
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:39,044
eyes, and that
thin, drawn mouth?
84
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:42,613
This man is obviously a
criminal of some sort.
85
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:44,049
Who is he?
86
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:47,836
- The president of the
First National Bank.
87
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,794
- Well, of course,
those borderline cases
88
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,883
are kind of hard to figure out.
89
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:54,451
Beside, those newspaper
pictures are a little smudgy.
90
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,192
[doorbell ringing]
91
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,890
- Oh, pardon me, I'll get it.
92
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,849
Just a second.
93
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:03,678
- Mom, can you tell us something
about my face right now?
94
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,332
- I sure can.
95
00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:08,422
You look like a fellow who
wants another piece of pie.
96
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:09,597
- Oh, hello, Thorny.
97
00:04:09,727 --> 00:04:10,946
- Hi, Oz.
98
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,992
- Hey, what are you
all dressed up for?
99
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,342
- I just had my picture taken.
100
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:16,952
It's kind of a hurried
up job, though.
101
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,736
- Oh, well, how come?
102
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,521
- Well, are you kidding?
103
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,871
Dave is in the same psychology
class that Will is, isn't he?
104
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:26,178
- Oh, you mean to say you
had a special picture taken
105
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:27,963
for that experiment?
106
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:31,314
- Well, after all, a father has
to put his best face forward.
107
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:32,750
- I know.
108
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,796
But you and I don't have
anything to worry about.
109
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:38,669
We have nice honest--
110
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,456
Yeah, I can see where
you would be worried.
111
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,502
- OK, wise guy, we'll see
whose picture goes over best.
112
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:48,940
- It isn't the picture, it's the
guy that's in it that counts.
113
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,246
- You're darn right.
114
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:51,943
If I were you, I'd
be plenty worried.
115
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,641
- I'll tell you
how worried I am.
116
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,296
I told Dave to go upstairs
and pick out any picture of me
117
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,602
he wants, any picture at all.
118
00:04:58,733 --> 00:05:00,169
- Take a look at this.
119
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,866
- Hi, Thorny.
- Hi, Harriet.
120
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,781
- How about a piece of
pie and a cup of coffee?
121
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:05,783
- Gee, thanks, but I
haven't even had dinner yet.
122
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:06,958
Thanks anyway.
123
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,569
Pretty nice, huh?
124
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:11,180
- Well, considering the
fact that this was a rushed
125
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,052
job and the face the poor
man had to work with,
126
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:17,229
I think it's OK.
127
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,579
- I guess I'll be running along.
128
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,276
I just wanted you to
see my picture, Oz.
129
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,321
- Oh, lots of good luck.
130
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:22,409
You'll need it.
131
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,848
What's the matter.
132
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,284
- I was just thinking.
133
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,981
Now, I know you're an
easygoing fellow, Oz.
134
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,201
As a matter of fact, you're
one of the nicest guys I know.
135
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,637
- Oh, gee, thanks a lot, Thorny.
136
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,683
- But to someone who
doesn't know you, well,
137
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:38,033
from a certain angle, you
have kind of a mean look.
138
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,644
Why don't you let David pick out
a picture where you're petting
139
00:05:40,775 --> 00:05:43,865
a dog or something like that?
140
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,954
- So long, Thorny.
141
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,695
- Just trying to be helpful.
142
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:51,394
- They'll probably select you
as the convict of the week.
143
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,353
- I think I got a good
picture here, Pop.
144
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:56,443
- Oh, fine, Dave,
any one at all.
145
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:59,402
- This one here.
146
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:00,838
- Oh.
147
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,536
Here, let me get this
over by the light where
148
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:03,624
I can see it better.
149
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:09,151
- You like it?
150
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,761
I think it looks just like you.
151
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:13,198
- Well, the only
thing, Dave, I haven't
152
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,939
worn a hat in quite a while.
153
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:19,814
And it's pulled down
over my eyes quite a bit.
154
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,337
- You said just to take any one.
155
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,600
- Yeah, I know.
156
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:26,864
See, and then the way that
the hat shades my eyes,
157
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:31,347
they look kind of
small, almost like BBs.
158
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:33,480
- Maybe you can
find another one.
159
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:36,308
- Yeah, I'll just pick
one out at random here.
160
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:44,491
Hey, here-- No, it's--
161
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,059
No, I guess--
162
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,239
- How about this one, Pop?
163
00:06:54,370 --> 00:07:00,942
- Oh no, Dave, I have kind of
a snarl on my face in that one.
164
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,161
Hey, here's a nice one.
165
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,729
[music playing]
166
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:06,948
- Well, whatever you say, Pop.
167
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,689
It's up to you.
168
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,518
- Yeah, I think that's a nice,
friendly-looking picture.
169
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:12,997
- Well, I got to
go do my homework.
170
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,738
I'll let you know
what happens tomorrow.
171
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,610
Just leave the picture
on the table there.
172
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:17,611
- OK, Dave.
173
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,396
[music playing]
174
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,057
Hi, Thorny.
175
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,058
- Hi, Oz.
176
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,581
You surprised me.
177
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,235
- What are you doing there?
178
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,542
- I'm just putting a
new lock on this door.
179
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,239
- Oh, what for,
for goodness sakes?
180
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,633
- Well, the old one was so
flimsy, no one could open it.
181
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,591
I've been meaning to
change it for a long time.
182
00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,245
- Are you kidding?
183
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,377
Who's going to try to pick
the lock on your back door?
184
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,249
- Well, you never know.
185
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:48,598
Say, have you seen David yet?
186
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:50,382
- No, I haven't.
187
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:51,340
- I'm just wondering how he made
out in that little experiment
188
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,559
that we're conducting.
189
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,038
- Oh, you mean with
the photographs.
190
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,083
Well, I don't know.
191
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,737
I just got home this minute.
192
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:57,868
- Well, Will just got home.
193
00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:59,217
We're talking about it.
194
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:01,437
You'll never guess
what they picked me as.
195
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,614
- Oh, I wondered what
you were leading up to.
196
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:05,920
Let's see.
197
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,138
A rag picker?
198
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,576
- Oh, ha, ha.
199
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,534
- A confidence
man in a carnival?
200
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,364
What did they pick you as?
201
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,408
- A banker.
202
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:17,758
- A banker.
203
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,368
How about that?
204
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,197
Well, you and I kid around
a lot, but let's face it,
205
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:25,461
we have those
old-fashioned, honest faces.
206
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,810
- Yeah, I guess you're right--
207
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:29,117
dull but honest.
208
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,684
- Speak for yourself.
209
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,250
- Well, let me know
how you made out.
210
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,035
I wonder what kind
of neighbor I got.
211
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:35,123
- OK, Mr. banker.
212
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,214
- You're home early, aren't you?
213
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,432
- Yeah, a little bit, I guess.
214
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,086
Is Dave home yet?
- No, not yet.
215
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,131
Why?
216
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:46,134
- Oh, I was just wondering.
217
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:49,050
Thorny says Will's home.
218
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,922
- You're not worried about that
psychology experiment, are you?
219
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,271
- No, no, of course not.
220
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,709
Why should I?
221
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,885
You'll never guess what
they picked Thorny as.
222
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:58,929
- What?
223
00:08:59,060 --> 00:08:59,930
- A banker.
224
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:00,931
- Thorny?
225
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:01,976
- Yeah.
226
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,630
How about that?
227
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:07,329
Oh, the more you think of
it, he could be a banker.
228
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:10,071
He has a pleasant, honest face.
229
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:13,204
And you can judge a person's
character by his face.
230
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:17,252
- Would you like to look at
that picture in the paper again?
231
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,428
- That was the exception
that proves the rule.
232
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,915
Strange man at the back door.
233
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:30,787
- Yes, I've never
seen him before.
234
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:31,875
- Yes?
Hello.
235
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,529
My name is Jones.
236
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,531
And well, my car broke down
up the street a ways here,
237
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,272
and you seem to be the
only folks at home.
238
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,665
- Oh, well, won't you come in.
239
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,971
- Thanks.
240
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:42,799
- Do you want to use
our phone or something?
241
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,758
- Well, thank you,
but my trouble is--
242
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,455
this is so embarrassing--
243
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,065
I'm a little short
of cash, and I
244
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,111
thought I might find someone
who'd cash a check for me.
245
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,939
- Oh, well, for how much?
246
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:52,940
- $10 is all.
247
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:55,420
- Oh, oh, oh, yes.
248
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,248
This is my wife.
This is Mr.--
249
00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,815
- Jones, John Jones.
- How do you do?
250
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,251
- How do you do?
251
00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:01,688
- He'd like us to cash
a small check for him.
252
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:03,820
- Oh, are you from
around here, Mr. Jones?
253
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,517
- Well, as a matter of fact, no.
254
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:06,518
I'm from out of town.
255
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,520
I was just passing through.
256
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:09,913
Who should I make this out to?
257
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:17,312
- Oh, Ozzie Nelson,
O-Z-Z-I-E N-E-L-S-O-N.
258
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:18,748
- I hope you won't
misunderstand,
259
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,881
but of course, you have
some identification.
260
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:24,928
- Well, unfortunately, I
left my wallet at home.
261
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,321
- That's perfectly all right.
262
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:28,105
I know an honest
face when I see one.
263
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:29,150
- Oh, thank you.
264
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,978
You're very kind.
265
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,110
- Would you put your
license number down there?
266
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,504
- I'd be very glad to, except
I don't know it offhand.
267
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,984
You see, I'm driving
a friend's car,
268
00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:39,987
and he's from out of state.
269
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,902
[music playing]
270
00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:43,817
Here we are.
271
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:44,905
- Oh.
272
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:48,560
Oh.
273
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:49,953
There we go.
- Thank you.
274
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,738
It's been very pleasant
meeting you both.
275
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,525
- Well?
276
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,526
- What do you--
277
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,006
well, what?
278
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,312
- You've been took.
279
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:04,272
[music playing]
280
00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:12,106
- Oh, hi, Dave.
281
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:14,021
- Oh, hi, Pop.
282
00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:15,979
- How did everything go
in school today, son?
283
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,938
- Oh, OK.
284
00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:19,809
- That's good.
285
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,378
I was just wondering, how did
your psychology experiment work
286
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:24,379
out?
287
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:25,597
- Oh, just fine, I guess.
288
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:26,816
I'll tell you all
about it later.
289
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,252
I better get washed
up for dinner.
290
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:31,473
- Oh, I'll walk
upstairs with you.
291
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:36,478
Dave, just out of curiosity,
had did your old man make out?
292
00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,915
- Oh, gee, Pop, it was
just an experiment.
293
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,048
- Well, I know, and I'm
kind of interested to know
294
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,398
how I struck the class.
295
00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:44,747
You can tell me.
296
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,140
It won't go to my
head if they thought
297
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:49,056
I was a financier or
something like that.
298
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:50,710
- It wasn't exactly that, Pop.
299
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,059
- Oh?
300
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:55,149
Just the average,
easygoing, affable type?
301
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,499
- Well, partly, and
sort of the average.
302
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,892
- Oh.
303
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,371
Average what?
304
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:03,853
- Average criminal type.
305
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,246
- Hmm?
306
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:09,511
- Well, everybody
didn't vote that way.
307
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:10,817
You're not mad, are you, Pop?
308
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,123
- Oh, well, no, no,
of course not, Dave.
309
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,647
After all, you can't
expect college kids
310
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,780
to have enough experience
to judge a person's
311
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,869
character by his face.
312
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,479
- Well, I better get cleaned up.
313
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:22,437
- Oh, yeah.
314
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:24,439
[music playing]
315
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:40,411
[applause]
316
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,332
[music playing]
317
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,344
- What's the matter, dear?
318
00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:01,824
- Harriet, if I
ask you a question,
319
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:02,956
will you tell me the truth?
320
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,000
- Well, naturally.
321
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,480
What makes you think I wouldn't?
322
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,351
Don't I have an honest face?
323
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:08,744
- Well, yes.
324
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,485
- Well, you don't
sound very sure of me.
325
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,182
What's the question?
326
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:13,880
- Why did you marry me?
327
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,273
- Well, because you didn't
look like the kind of a man who
328
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,362
would stand in front of
the mirror in his pajamas,
329
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:21,148
making faces at himself.
330
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:23,063
- No, I'm serious.
331
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:24,978
Would you have married
me if you thought
332
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,806
I looked like a criminal?
333
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,329
Tell me honestly.
334
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,852
- Well, certainly.
335
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:33,334
You don't marry a person
just because of his looks.
336
00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:37,207
- In other words, I do
look like a criminal.
337
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,296
- I didn't say that.
338
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:42,299
- Well, maybe you didn't,
but David's whole class did.
339
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,606
- Well, how do you know
it was the whole class?
340
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,956
Maybe you just lost
by a couple of votes.
341
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,654
- OK, then the majority
of David's class
342
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,265
thought I looked
like a criminal.
343
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,441
- You're just making yourself
miserable over nothing.
344
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,834
- Nothing?
345
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,444
Harriet, how can you
say that's nothing?
346
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,533
All of a sudden, a
man discovers that he
347
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,491
has a criminal-type face?
348
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,885
- Dear, you don't have
a criminal-type face.
349
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:03,973
Now go to sleep.
350
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,413
- Good night, dear.
351
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:12,677
- Good night, Louie.
352
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,767
[music playing]
353
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,395
Here's a hand mirror, dear.
354
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:37,659
Save yourself a trip.
355
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,401
[music playing]
356
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,813
- Harriet, turn on
your light, quick.
357
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,075
- What's the matter?
358
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,424
- Turn your light
on, please, quick.
359
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:51,951
Is there anything
stamped across my face?
360
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:55,171
- Well, no.
361
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,216
Why?
362
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:57,304
- Oh.
363
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,308
Never mind.
364
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:02,396
Go to sleep.
365
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:03,484
Don't worry, dear.
366
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,063
- Ozzie, breakfast is ready.
367
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,151
- I'll be right there.
368
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:23,025
- For goodness sakes,
I was beginning
369
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:24,070
to get worried about you.
370
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,723
Your breakfast is getting cold.
371
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,421
- Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
372
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:57,190
- What are you doing,
for goodness sakes?
373
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:58,582
- Gee, I--
374
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:02,108
I'm sorry, I'm just not
myself this morning.
375
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:05,328
Harriet, I hardly slept
at all last night.
376
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,721
- Well, who did?
377
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:08,288
Seems to me you were
up every five minutes
378
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,464
looking at yourself
in the mirror.
379
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:14,555
- Well, I had the darndest
dreams, practically nightmares.
380
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:17,079
- Oh, this is ridiculous, dear.
381
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:20,039
- Well, it's easy enough
for you to say that.
382
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:23,042
How would you feel
if all of a sudden,
383
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,348
you discovered you
looked like a criminal
384
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,481
after thinking all
these years, you
385
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,309
had a pleasant, honest face?
386
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,659
- Well, you're missing the
whole point of the experiment.
387
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,270
That's exactly what the
professor was trying to prove,
388
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:37,926
that you can't tell a thing
about a person by his face.
389
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,494
- Oh, in other words, I
do look like a criminal,
390
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,235
and you've known
it all these years.
391
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,672
- You don't look like
a criminal at all.
392
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:47,718
- Well, then why is it
everybody treats me as if I do?
393
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,111
- What are you talking about?
394
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,853
- Oh, a lot of things.
395
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:54,769
For instance, yesterday morning,
out of a clear, blue sky,
396
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:59,208
Thorny puts a new
lock on his back door.
397
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:00,644
- That was pure coincidence.
398
00:18:00,775 --> 00:18:02,255
That had nothing to do with you.
399
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:06,128
- Well, that's just one
of a series of things.
400
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,087
I've been thinking
about a lot of things
401
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,001
that have happened in the past.
402
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,091
For instance, when I was
in junior high school,
403
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:15,659
I ran for class
treasurer and I lost.
404
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,662
- That doesn't prove anything.
405
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,273
- I remember when
we were kids, we
406
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,014
used to play cops and robbers.
407
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:27,628
Who do you suppose was always
selected as one of the robbers?
408
00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:29,151
- Oh, this is silly.
409
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,762
Come on, eat your breakfast
and forget about it.
410
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:34,809
- Oh, by the way, I'll probably
be a little late coming home
411
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,027
this afternoon.
412
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,420
I want to stop
off at the library
413
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,118
and get a couple of books.
414
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,685
- Oh, what kind of books?
415
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,470
- On criminal psychology.
416
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,743
Is this the same kind of
coffee we've always been using?
417
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:56,744
- Yes, it is.
418
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:58,398
Why?
419
00:18:58,528 --> 00:19:00,356
- It tastes better this morning.
420
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,444
Kinda sweeter.
421
00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:13,413
- May I help you, sir?
422
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:17,373
- I'd like to check these
two books out, please.
423
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:19,941
- May I have your
library card, please?
424
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,203
- Oh.
425
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,510
See, I guess I forgot it.
426
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,120
- I'm sorry, we can't
let you check out
427
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:26,774
any books without a card.
428
00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:28,384
- Well, I do have a card.
429
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,169
It's just that I left it home.
430
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,822
- Well, if you want to leave the
books here and go home and get
431
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:32,867
your card.
432
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,999
- Well, is that necessary?
433
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:37,306
I can assure you,
I do have a card.
434
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:39,482
If you look in
your files, you'll
435
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,267
see I'm telling the truth.
436
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,356
- I'm sorry, sir, but
those are my instructions.
437
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,836
You have to have
the card with you.
438
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,491
- Well, I've been borrowing
books from here for years.
439
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,667
I'm not trying to
steal the books.
440
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:55,411
- Would you mind keeping your
voice down a little, please?
441
00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:57,935
- I say, I'm not trying
to steal the books.
442
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,415
- I'm sure you're not.
443
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:04,159
- Just because a man looks
like a criminal doesn't mean
444
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,552
he is one.
445
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:07,336
- I'm not suggesting
anything like that, sir.
446
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,382
It's just that I have
to follow the rules.
447
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:15,779
I'm sorry.
448
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,347
[drum beating]
449
00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:21,698
[music playing]
450
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:22,699
- Pardon me.
451
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:25,789
[music playing]
452
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,754
- Hi, dear.
453
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,451
- Oh, hi.
454
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:37,148
- I thought you were going
to stop off at the library.
455
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:38,280
- Yeah, I did.
456
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,629
- What's the matter?
457
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,327
Couldn't you find
the books you wanted?
458
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,851
- Yeah, I found them, but
they wouldn't lend them to me.
459
00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:46,810
I didn't have my card
with me, and the librarian
460
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:49,987
took one look at my face and
decided I couldn't be trusted.
461
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,641
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
462
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:53,382
- Well, maybe it is.
463
00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:56,646
But I'm developing a
regular guilt complex.
464
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:58,605
All the way home,
I had the feeling
465
00:20:58,735 --> 00:21:02,435
people were turning
around staring at me.
466
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:03,436
- Oh, Pop.
467
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:04,567
- Oh, hi, Dave.
468
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,352
- I've been looking for you.
469
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,179
Do you mind if I ask you a few
questions about our psychology
470
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,312
experiment?
- Oh, no, not right now, David.
471
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:11,400
- No, no, that's OK.
472
00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:13,010
What do you want to know, son?
473
00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:14,838
- Well, first, how do you
feel about the experiment,
474
00:21:14,969 --> 00:21:16,231
in general?
475
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,015
- Well, I must admit
I used to think
476
00:21:18,146 --> 00:21:20,104
you could tell something
about a person's character
477
00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:21,758
by looking at his face.
478
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:24,108
But obviously, I was wrong.
479
00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:26,415
Because I'm certainly no
criminal and yet, evidently,
480
00:21:26,546 --> 00:21:28,852
I look like one.
481
00:21:28,983 --> 00:21:31,638
- How do you feel about being
selected as a criminal type?
482
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:35,946
- Well, at first, I thought
the whole idea was ridiculous.
483
00:21:36,077 --> 00:21:38,993
Then I began to
realize it's true.
484
00:21:39,123 --> 00:21:41,082
I do look like a criminal.
485
00:21:41,212 --> 00:21:43,563
It's just I never
realized it before.
486
00:21:43,693 --> 00:21:45,565
- Well, you could never
be a criminal, dear.
487
00:21:45,695 --> 00:21:46,957
- Well, I know.
488
00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:48,655
It isn't that I'm a criminal.
489
00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:53,050
It's just that unfortunately,
I happen to look like one.
490
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:55,052
- Well, gee, Pop, to
tell you the truth,
491
00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:56,924
you don't even look like one.
492
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:58,752
- Well, thanks, Dave.
493
00:21:58,882 --> 00:22:01,058
It's nice of you to try
to make me feel good.
494
00:22:01,189 --> 00:22:02,364
- Oh, I mean it, Pop.
495
00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:04,235
Let me explain the
experiment to you.
496
00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:05,759
See, everyone in
the class was told
497
00:22:05,889 --> 00:22:07,717
to go home and tell his
father that he had been
498
00:22:07,848 --> 00:22:09,328
picked as the criminal type.
499
00:22:09,458 --> 00:22:10,633
- I don't get that.
500
00:22:10,764 --> 00:22:12,331
- Well, actually,
it was an experiment
501
00:22:12,461 --> 00:22:16,683
to observe the father's reaction
to a psychological shock.
502
00:22:16,813 --> 00:22:19,076
- You mean, the class didn't
pick me as a criminal type?
503
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:20,295
- Heck, no.
504
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:21,514
As a matter of
fact, they said you
505
00:22:21,644 --> 00:22:24,212
look like a pretty swell guy.
506
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,648
- Well, how about that?
507
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:27,128
- Good for you, dear.
508
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:29,173
- Harriet, did you hear
what Dave just said?
509
00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:30,566
The fellows in his
class thought I
510
00:22:30,697 --> 00:22:31,828
looked like a pretty swell guy.
511
00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:33,003
- And just when I
was learning how to
512
00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:34,483
bake a cake with a file in it.
513
00:22:37,094 --> 00:22:39,923
- I even had myself convinced
people were staring at me.
514
00:22:40,054 --> 00:22:41,882
- Wait a minute.
515
00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:43,579
- What's the matter?
516
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:45,494
- Well, no wonder they were
all staring at you downtown.
517
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:49,193
You've got paint
all over your coat.
518
00:22:49,324 --> 00:22:50,717
- And here I thought
it was because I
519
00:22:50,847 --> 00:22:52,501
looked like a criminal.
520
00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,242
Well, see, Harriet, I was right.
521
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,026
People are what they look like.
522
00:22:56,157 --> 00:22:58,986
- All right, but I'll bet
you never see that $10 again.
523
00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:00,379
- What $10?
524
00:23:00,509 --> 00:23:02,555
- Oh, your father
cashed a check for $10
525
00:23:02,685 --> 00:23:04,818
for an absolute stranger
who came to the door.
526
00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:06,950
- Well, and I'm not worried
about it at all, Dave.
527
00:23:07,081 --> 00:23:08,691
The man had an honest face.
528
00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,389
- Hey, that must have
been my professor.
529
00:23:10,519 --> 00:23:12,086
As part of the
experiment, he went around
530
00:23:12,216 --> 00:23:13,783
to a lot of different
houses to see
531
00:23:13,914 --> 00:23:17,352
if people would trust him
enough to lend him some money.
532
00:23:17,483 --> 00:23:19,441
- What have you got
to say about that?
533
00:23:19,572 --> 00:23:21,182
- All right, you win, baby face.
534
00:23:23,576 --> 00:23:25,316
I'm going up to take
this paint off your coat.
535
00:23:25,447 --> 00:23:27,057
- Here, let me help you, Mom.
536
00:23:27,188 --> 00:23:29,277
- Well, how's my little, old
criminal friend this evening?
537
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:30,887
- You big phony, you.
538
00:23:31,018 --> 00:23:32,236
I've been looking for you.
539
00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:33,934
Did you know that
every kid in the class
540
00:23:34,064 --> 00:23:36,502
was supposed to go home and
tell his father that he had been
541
00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:38,242
selected as a criminal type?
542
00:23:38,373 --> 00:23:39,722
- Sure I did.
543
00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:41,115
- Well, then how
come you claimed
544
00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:42,377
you were picked as a banker?
545
00:23:42,508 --> 00:23:44,118
- Well, that's true, Oz.
546
00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:45,859
They said I was the same type
as a president of the First
547
00:23:45,989 --> 00:23:48,035
National Bank.
548
00:23:48,165 --> 00:23:49,036
- Well, wait a minute.
549
00:23:49,166 --> 00:23:50,472
What are you talking about?
550
00:23:50,603 --> 00:23:52,431
- Well, did you see his
picture in the paper?
551
00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:53,693
- Oh, that guy.
552
00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:55,390
Yeah, it was very
embarrassing, too.
553
00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:56,913
Harriet showed me
his picture, and I
554
00:23:57,044 --> 00:23:59,133
said he looked like a criminal.
555
00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:01,657
- Well, did you
read the article?
556
00:24:01,788 --> 00:24:02,702
- Well, no.
557
00:24:02,832 --> 00:24:03,920
She just showed me his picture.
558
00:24:04,051 --> 00:24:05,487
Why?
559
00:24:05,618 --> 00:24:07,358
- Why do you suppose his
picture was in the paper?
560
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:08,708
- She didn't say.
561
00:24:08,838 --> 00:24:12,973
- He absconded with $50,000.
562
00:24:13,103 --> 00:24:13,974
[applause]
563
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:15,236
- Harriet?
564
00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:16,367
Harriet?
565
00:24:24,593 --> 00:24:27,466
[music playing]
566
00:24:32,427 --> 00:24:35,299
Oh, Dave, before I forget it,
when you get to class today,
567
00:24:35,430 --> 00:24:37,127
will you give this
check to Professor Jones
568
00:24:37,258 --> 00:24:39,652
and ask him to give
me my $10 back?
569
00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:40,870
- Jones?
570
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,481
- Well, yes,
Professor John Jones,
571
00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:44,221
your psychology professor.
572
00:24:44,352 --> 00:24:45,875
- Well, my professor's
name is Lamont.
573
00:24:46,006 --> 00:24:48,312
William Thaddeus Lamont.
574
00:24:48,443 --> 00:24:50,053
- Oh.
575
00:24:50,184 --> 00:24:54,405
Well, he probably just took
that name for the experiment.
576
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:57,931
Is he a man about
30 years of age,
577
00:24:58,061 --> 00:25:00,803
with glasses,
about six feet one?
578
00:25:00,934 --> 00:25:02,022
- No.
579
00:25:02,152 --> 00:25:03,327
He's about 50, and
he's real short,
580
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:04,764
and has a little black mustache.
581
00:25:07,593 --> 00:25:08,550
- Well, don't worry, dear.
582
00:25:08,681 --> 00:25:10,204
He ought to be easy to find.
583
00:25:10,334 --> 00:25:13,076
You can always get in touch
with him through his bank.
584
00:25:13,207 --> 00:25:19,300
Security Trust Company of
Lower Gopher Hole, Montana.
585
00:25:19,430 --> 00:25:22,433
[applause and music playing]
586
00:25:33,357 --> 00:25:34,315
- Well, good night, folks.
587
00:25:34,445 --> 00:25:35,403
See you again next week.
588
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:36,926
- Goodnight.
589
00:25:37,057 --> 00:25:39,363
And remember, every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.
590
00:25:39,494 --> 00:25:40,800
- Seven days a week.
591
00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:42,584
- 365 days a year.
592
00:25:42,715 --> 00:25:44,673
- Every day's a
holiday with Hotpoint.
593
00:25:44,804 --> 00:25:47,633
[applause and music playing]
594
00:25:53,421 --> 00:25:54,901
- Jack Wagner was
seen as the man
595
00:25:55,031 --> 00:25:58,644
who cashed the check, Georgia
Pelham as the librarian.
596
00:25:58,774 --> 00:25:59,993
This is Verne Smith speaking.
597
00:26:00,123 --> 00:26:02,648
[music playing]
598
00:26:12,005 --> 00:26:16,575
This has been an ABC Television
Network presentation.
43181
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.