All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S04E16 The Car Mix-Up 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

- [SINGING] Every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.

The dishwasher stops all
your dish-washing drudgery.

Hotpoint's electric range
cooks automatically.

Every day's a holiday
with Hotpoint.

The refrigerator with
wonderful frost-away.

Washer and dryer mean
goodbye to wash day.

Hotpoint dealers bring you
"The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[theme music]

- And now, Hotpoint presents
America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

with Don DeFore as Thorny.

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

- You look industrious.

- Well, thanks.

Where have you been?

- Down at the market,
doing some shopping.

- Want me to give you a
hand with those bundles?

- Oh, no, thanks.

They're pretty light.

- How do you like this color?

- Oh, it looks great.

- It's fast-drying paint, at
least it's supposed to be.

- Don't work too hard.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hello, dear.

- Hey, Pop, can I
ask you a question?

- Well, sure.
What is it?

- Well, I've been
saving up some money,

and I want to know if it's OK
if I can buy something with it.

- Well, sure, it's your money.

You saved it up.

You buy anything you want.

You don't have to ask me.

- Do you really mean that?

- Well, yeah, unless it's
something ridiculous.

What did you have in mind?

- I want to buy a car.

- A car?

- Ridiculous, huh?

- Well, yeah, I think
it is, especially

in view of the fact you can't
get a license until next year.

- I can get a learner's
permit, and that

means I can drive with
a licensed driver.

- Well, yeah, I know,
but your mother and I

don't want to drive
around town with you

in some old, broken
down clunker.

- Well, David said he would.

- Well, how much have
you got saved up?

- $28.

- $28?

Well, you can't
buy a car for $28.

- Sure, you can. $28
down, and $10 a month.

You ought to see it.

It's really nice.

The man said we could
drive it over and have

you take a look at it.

- Well, who's going
to drive it over here?

- David.

He's waiting out front.

- Well, I'm not
promising anything now,

but you bring the car over
and I'll take a look at it.

- Thanks, Pop.

You want to go
over there with us?

- Uh, no, thanks.

I have a couple more
chairs I want to paint.

- Well, you're sure it wouldn't
be more convenient if I

came over to your house?

Well, that's very nice
of you, Mrs. Brewster.

Are you sure you have
the address right?

Yes, that's right.

Well, I'll be
expecting you then.

Thanks a lot.

Goodbye.
- Who was that?

- Mrs. Brewster.

- Yeah, I know, but
who's Mrs. Brewster?

- A woman I met
down at the market.

How's the painting coming along?

- Oh, uh, very nicely.

Thanks.

You say she's coming up here?

- Yeah, she's going to drop
off a package and pick one up.

- Well, is she from
the store or something?

- No, she's a woman I met quite
by accident, you might say.

They have a station
wagon like ours.

- Oh, what did you do?

Lock bumpers or something?

- Oh, for goodness
sakes, dear, you

talk about women being curious.

- Well, you're
being so mysterious.

What happened?

- Well, it was nothing
really very serious.

Her car happened to be
parked next to mine,

and it was the same kind
of a car, and I got in it

and drove off.

I was halfway down the
block before I realized

I had somebody else's car.

- Well, for goodness
sakes, you're

lucky you didn't get arrested.

Oh, uh, Harriet, did your keys
just happen to fit her car?

- No, she left her
keys in her car.

And, of course, I always
leave mine in our car.

- Now, wait a minute.

You really always leave
the keys in the car?

- Well, certainly.

Nobody's going to steal it.

- Well, you stole hers.

Least you drove off in it.

- You see, that's
the reason I didn't

want to tell you about it.

You always wind up
giving me a big lecture.

- [chuckles] I'm not going
to give you any big lecture.

I just don't think you ought
to leave the keys in the car.

Why don't you do what I do?

I take the keys
out of the ignition

and I instinctively put them
right in my pants pocket.

You ought to do the
same, put 'em right--

Some place where
you know they are.

Did this other woman
drive off in our car?

- Well, no.

Fortunately, I got back before
she came out of the store.

- Well, then what's all
this about the packages?

- Well, you see, I left a
big paper bag and some stuff

on the seat of our car, and she
had one in the seat of her car.

That's one of the reasons
I thought I was in our car.

And then in the excitement
of finding out I

was in the wrong car and all,
I picked up her paper bag

and left mine on
the seat of her car.

- Boy, you've had
a confusing day.

- You're not kidding.

- Well, uh, was that all
that happened, I hope?

- Well, yes, except we don't
have any lamb chops for dinner,

and you said you
wanted lamb chops.

- Well, I thought this woman
was going to bring them over.

- Oh, no, those
are the vegetables.

They were in the paper bag.

- What about the lamb chops?

- Oh, they had
nothing to do with it.

I just plain forgot those.

- Holy smokes.

- What are you laughing about?

You've forgotten
things lots of times.

- Well, yeah, but I never drove
off in somebody else's car.

Do you realize
that's grand larceny?

A car is a valuable
piece of property.

- Well, I wasn't
trying to steal it.

Anybody'd know that.

- Well, yeah, but the burden
of proof would be on you.

You're supposed to exercise
the reasonable diligence

necessary to ascertain that
the car is actually yours.

- OK, counselor, would
you like to exercise

the reasonable diligence
necessary to ascertain

where the butcher shop is and
get some lamb chops for dinner?

- [chuckles] Right now?

- No, anytime within the
next couple of hours.

- Oh, well, that's
good because I'd

like to finish painting
the kitchen chairs.

- Want me to help you?

- Oh, uh, no thanks.

I appreciate the
offer, but somehow I

just feel this isn't your day.

And I'd feel awful if you'd
sit down in some wet paint

and maybe get the
chair stuck to your--

[chuckles] I mean, you
know, uh, get stuck, uh--

I'll, uh, finish
painting the chairs.

- You'd better get out of here
before I start throwing things.

- Say, when you
get through there,

you can come over to our
house and start working.

- [chuckles] Hiya, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.

- Thought you were going
to play golf this morning.

- Well, I was going to, but
Catherine beat me to the car.

Hope she gets it
back pretty soon.

- Just hope she gets it back.

- What do you mean?

- Well, Harriet had kind
of a frightening experience

this morning.

She was down at
the market and she

got into this
other woman's car--

evidently, it was
the same kind--

and drove off with it.

- You're kidding.

- No, ask Harriet...

Or maybe you'd
better not ask her.

- Hey, Pop, we got the car.

Oh, hi, Mr. Thornberry.

- Hi, Rick.
- Oh, good for you, son.

- Come on and see it.
It's out front.

- Why don't you bring
it around back here?

- We can't.

Mom left the station
wagon in the driveway.

- That figures.

The only time she takes
the keys out of the car

is when it's in the driveway.
[chuckles]

- Come and take a look at it.

- As soon as I finished
painting this chair, Rick.

Boy, wait till you see it.

It's really nice, isn't it?

- I believe they
usually refer to these

as transportation cars.

- Did you shut off the
motor or did it stall?

- No, I shut it off.

It was clouding up the
yard with black smoke.

Where's Pop?

- He'll be around in a minute.

- Is he talking
with Mr. Thornberry?

- Yeah.
- Then come on.

Let's go down and
get a hamburger.

- You think we have time?

- You just said he was
talking with Mr. Thornberry,

didn't you?

Heck, we have time for
a full-course dinner.

[music playing]

- I think that's a pretty
good job, if you ask me.

- It's OK, Oz.

- Well, should we
go around front

and take a look
at Rick's jalopy?

- Why don't you
put the paint away?

Someone might knock
it over or something.

- Yeah, I'll put it
out in the garage.

Careful of the chair.

- Oh, Mrs. Brewster.

- Oh, how do you
do, Mrs. Nelson?

- It was so nice of you to
come all the way over here.

Won't you come in for a
while and take off your coat?

- Oh, thank you.

My, it's nice and warm in here.

I nearly froze to
death on the way over.

- I didn't know it was
getting so cold outside.

- Well, it isn't really,
but I guess this just

isn't my day or something.

Anyway, I got into my
car to drive over here

and I discovered
I had a flat tire.

- Oh, what a shame.

Did you get it fixed?

- Well, not yet, but they're
fixing it for me now.

I borrowed my son's
jalopy, and I'm

afraid it's cool in
more ways than one.

- Well, how about a
nice, hot cup of coffee?

- Oh, I wouldn't want to
put you to any trouble.

- Oh, it wouldn't
be any trouble.

In fact, I'd like
to have one myself.

- Well, as long as
you've twisted my arm,

I must admit it
would taste good.

- Certainly.

Come on in the kitchen with me.

- Well, thank you.

- [chuckles] Do
you see what I see?

- [chuckles] Well,
you must admit,

it has a flashy paint job.

- Yeah.

- I wonder where the boys are.

- They probably went
downtown to get a tow truck.

[chuckling]

- How much you say Ricky was
paying for this little beauty?

- $28 down and $10 a month.

- For how many months?

- I don't know, but if
it's for more than two,

I think he's getting stuck.

- [chuckles] I don't know.

Doesn't look too bad.

Wonder if it runs.

- Are there any keys in there?
- Yeah.

- Well, let's take
a little drive.

I told Harriet I'd buy
her some lamb chops.

- Wait a minute, I don't know.

This thing might explode.

- Oh, are you kidding?

Come on, let's go.

- Wait a minute.

So long as it was your
idea, you crank it.

- Don't have to crank it.

I'm sure there's a starter here.

Yeah.

[engine revving]

Listen to that motor purr.

Here we go!

[music playing]

- Hey, Pop!

- Oh!

Well, hiya, boys.
- Hi, fellas.

-

- What's this?

- This is the car
I told you about.

- Well, it can't be.

- Well, gee, it isn't that bad.

- No, no, it's--

But what about--

Oh, gee, a terrible thought
just occurred to me.

- Hey, how many cars are
you guys going to buy?

- Oh, uh, Thorny, let's,
uh, never mind that.

- Take a good look at it, Pop.

It's really great.

- Well, yes, I know.

Why don't you guys drive
it on home and we'll

talk about it up there?

- It really runs good, Pop.

Needs a little work done on it.

- Oh, yeah, well, as I
say, drive on home with it.

We'll talk about it up there.
- Wait a minute, Oz.

I don't get this.

- Thorny, I hate to
sound rude, but would you

mind not interrupting?

This is a little family
discussion we're having.

- Can I buy it, Pop?

- Well, as I say, we'll
talk about it at home, son.

- Well, what about
the other car?

- What other car?

- Uh, Thorny, please.

Look, hold the lamb
chops for me, would you?

- Can I buy it, Pop?

- Well, look, why don't you
guys drive home and we'll

talk about it up there?

It's getting pretty late.

- What do you mean?

- Well, I mean, you
know, if it gets dark

and you're driving around
in a car like this,

the lights are probably no good.

- Gee, Pop, it's only 2:30.

- Well, I know, but it
gets dark early these days.

Besides, there's a
police man on the street.

- Well, I have a license.

- Well, I know you do, son,
but you know how they are.

They see a couple of
teenagers in the car

and they think maybe you've
over-parked or something.

- You want a lift, Pop?

- No, no, you guys go ahead.

Uh, we can use the fresh air.

Stand back, Thorny.

- What was that all about?

- Can't you figure
it out, Thorny?

This car we drove
downtown in obviously

belongs to somebody else.

- Well, so what?

It was in front of your house.

- Well, that's just it.

It probably belongs
to Mrs. Brewster.

- Who is she?

- Well, she's the woman whose
car Harriet stole this--

Not stole, but drove off with
out the market this morning.

- Well, I thought she had
a station wagon like yours.

- Well, she does, but
evidently, she has another--

Yes, certainly, it says
"Brewster" right here.

We are technically
driving a stolen car.

- Well, why don't you
tell that to the boys

and they could
explain it to Harriet?

- That's the last thing
in the world I want to do.

- I get it.

You probably gave
her a big lecture

and this would make
you look pretty silly.

- No, no, no, no, not silly.

- How about stupid?

- Can you get in, please,
and let's get home?

- Have you got the keys?

- Yes, I always have them
right in my pants pocket.

Come on.
- No, no, wait.

Wait, Oz, look.

I don't like the idea of
riding in a stolen car.

- Will you get in
the car and let's

drive home as quickly
and quietly as possible?

- Well, supposing we get
stopped by a policeman, now

what are we going to tell him?

- We are-- will you
keep your voice down?

There's a policeman
right over there.

- Good!

I'll get a legal opinion.

Oh, Officer?

- Thorny, Thorny!

- Yes, sir, can I help you?

- That's perfectly
OK, Your Honor--

uh, Officer.

We have everything
under control.

- Oz, how can you say that?

Look, Officer, we'd like
to ask you a question.

- I'd be happy to
answer it, if I'm able.

- Uh, Thorny, if we
need a legal opinion,

we can ask an attorney.

- Oh, no, I'm sure a police
officer would know about it.

I think they call it
"grand theft auto."

- Somebody steal your car?

- Oh!

No, no, nothing like that.

- We don't know whose car it is.

- See, it's purely a
hypothetical question,

strictly academic.

And I don't think
we have a right

to waste a police
officer's valuable time.

Thanks--
- Oh, that's OK.

What is it?
- Don't--

- Oz, come on, Oz.

If there was a car parked
in front of your house

and you didn't know whose
it was, and you got in it

and drove it away without
the owner's permission,

would that be considered
grand theft auto?

- Thorny, will you stop
using that expression?

- That's what they call it.

That's the legal term.

- That's right.

That would be considered grand
theft auto, at least until you

can prove otherwise.
- You see, Oz?

A thing like this can
lead to a lot of trouble,

especially for the guy
who drives the grand theft

auto away.

- Not only would the fellow who
drove the car be in trouble,

but anybody riding
in the car with him

would be under suspicion.

- [chuckles]

Thank you very much, Officer.

- Of course, the best thing to
do is to always lock your car

and take the keys with you.
- Oh, yes, I--

- You know, make a habit of it.

Turn off the ignition,
take out the key,

put it right in
your pants pocket.

Of course, if you're a woman,
then you do the best you can.

- Well, thank you, Mrs. Nelson.

I hope I didn't stay too long.

It's been such a pleasant visit.
- I enjoyed it too.

And thank you for
bringing my package over.

- I was glad to do it.
- Here, don't forget yours.

- Oh, thank you.

- And honestly, I wasn't trying
to steal your car this morning.

- Oh, I'm sure you weren't.

[chuckles]

Well, for goodness sake.

- What's the matter?

- My son's car.

I left it right here in your
driveway, and now it's gone.

- Oh, well, I couldn't
have taken it.

I've been in the house with you.

- I wasn't accusing you.

But it is quite a coincidence.

- Well, there must
be some explanation.

- Oh, probably it just
rolled down the hill.

- I'm sure it didn't.

- Well, I think I'd
better call my son.

May I use your telephone?

- Oh, yes, certainly.

- This is terribly embarrassing.

Oh, I hope somebody's home.

- The phone's right over here.

- Oh, thank you.

[music playing]

- I'll see you later, Oz.

- [SPEAKING QUIETLY] Come
back here, you coward!

- Well, will you please
keep ringing, Operator, just

to be sure?

Well, I was afraid of that.

There's nobody home.

Dear, I wonder
what I ought to do.

- Well, I think we
should call the police.

- Well, hello, dear!

- Oh, Ozzie, I'm so
glad you're here.

We were just about
to phone the police.

- The police?
What for?

- Well, somebody stole
Mrs. Brewster's car.

Oh, Mrs. Brewster,
this is my husband.

- Oh, how do you do, Mr. Nelson?

- Well, how do you do?

Somebody stole your car?

- Yes, right out
of the driveway.

- At least, somebody
drove away with it.

She left it in
front of the house.

- In front of our house?

- Yes, it was right
there in the drive--

Oh, my goodness,
it's there again!

- That's funny, it wasn't
there a minute ago.

- Well, are you sure?

- Well, of course I'm sure.

- Well, the reason
I say that is you've

been kind of flustered
all day, and sometimes

when you're upset like
that, you see things

that you really don't see.

And then again, you don't
see things that you do see.

And it works the
other way around, too.

- Well, it doesn't
make any difference,

as long as I've got the car.

- And then again, sometimes,
the shadows and the trees

will play kind of strange
tricks on your eyes.

- Ozzie, I'm positive the
car was gone, I think.

- See, you're not sure.

You've been under a nervous
strain all day, dear.

- No, I'm sure it was gone.

- Well, there's no harm done.

I'll be running along now.

- Oh, good.

I'll open the door for you.

- Something the matter?

- Well, I was
looking for my keys.

Oh, I must have left
them in the car.

- Oh, that's something you
should never do, Mrs. Brewster.

I was talking to my wife about
that a couple of hours ago.

Never leave your
keys in the car.

As soon as you
park the car, make

a habit of putting the
keys right in your pocket.

Now, maybe you didn't
leave the keys in the car.

- Oh, I'm sure I did.

- Now, now, wait a minute.

When I came in, you were
sitting on the couch.

Why don't you look around
there by the couch?

Harriet, you look
around by the chairs,

and I'll look around outside.

- We were in the kitchen, too.

- OK, look around
in the kitchen.

Have a cup of coffee
while you're out there.

- Oh, we've already had coffee.

- Well, have some more.

There's nothing like coffee
when you're flustered.

Now, go ahead and you look
around out in the kitchen,

and I'll look around out here.

I think we'll find them.

I found the keys, Mrs. Brewster!

They're in the car.

Mrs. Brewster?

- Oh, please thank
your husband again

for finding the keys for me.
- Oh, that's all right.

I'm sure he was happy to help.

- Oh, I guess he thinks
we women are pretty silly.

It's been a very confusing day.

- Oh, I'm sure he understands.

- Well, for the
last time, goodbye.

- Oh, wait.

I'd better take this
package out of your car.

- Well, how did
that get in here?

It isn't mine.

- No, these are our
lamb chops for dinner.

- Lamb chops?

But how did they get in my car?

- Well, as you said before,
it's been a very confusing day.

- Bye.

- Goodbye.

Hi, Rick.

- Oh, hiya, Mom.

What's the matter, Pop?

Did you draw KP?

- I'm just peeling a couple
of potatoes for your mother.

- Boy, you've had a busy day--

peeling potatoes,
painting chairs.

They look good, too.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

Hey, how about that car
you guys are going to buy?

I thought you were going
to drive it up here so I

could take a look at it.

- I was, but I kind of
decided against buying it.

- Well, I thought you
said it ran pretty good.

- Yeah, it does
when you push it.

You should have known you
can't buy a good car for $28.

- I guess it is
pretty difficult.

- A better way
till I save up $35.

What are we having
for supper, Ma?

- Lamb chops.

- Lamb chops.

- You bought them, didn't you?

- Oh, yeah, but I
left them in the car.

- Oh, would you mind
getting them, Ricky?

The station wagon's
out in the driveway.

- Oh, uh-- [chuckles] that's
not going to do any good.

- Well, you said you left
them in the station wagon,

didn't you?

- Uh, no.

- Well, you said you
left them in the car.

- Well, uh, yeah.

- Did you drive down
in Thorny's car?

- Well, I might as well
tell you the whole story.

You'll find out anyway.

See, Thorny and I went out front
to look at this jalopy Ricky

was going to buy.

- Here are the lamb chops, Mom.

- Oh, thank you, dear.

- Wait a minute.

Where did you find those?

- Right where Mom said they'd
be, in the station wagon.

- How would you like them, dear?

Broiled?

- Pretty clever, aren't you?

- I think you were
pretty clever, too.

You know there for
a while, I actually

didn't know whether I'd seen
Mrs. Brewster's car or not.

And the way you maneuvered
us out of the room

and got those keys back in her
car was absolutely masterful.

- Well, that's
what I always say,

see, you can't let
yourself get flustered.

The idea is keep your wits
about you at all times,

keep your mind on
what you're doing.

- Yes, dear.

- Well, I guess I'll go upstairs
and get cleaned up for dinner.

[music playing]

Uh, Harriet?

- You're never going to
get to sleep tonight.

- What do you mean?

- Well, after sleeping in the
movies for an hour and a half.

- Oh, I wasn't exactly sleeping.

I was just leaning back,
resting my eyes a little.

- Well, you sure fooled me.

I could have sworn I heard
you snoring a couple of times.

- Those low seats are
just too darn comfortable.

I like to lean back and
loosen my tie and collar.

Oh, Harriet?

How did the picture end?

- I thought you
didn't fall asleep.

- Well, maybe I did doze off
for just a minute or two.

Well, I told you I was
resting my eyes a little.

- What was the last
part you remember?

- Well, uh, they were all
trimming the Christmas tree.

It must have been Christmas Eve.

- That was practically the
beginning of the picture.

You must have slept
through the whole thing.

- No.
Oh, I remember now.

I woke up during
all that shooting.

I remember there
was a lot of noise,

and people were
wearing funny hats

and they were doing a
lot of yelling and all.

- That was the 4th
of July celebration.

- Oh.

Well, will you fill me in
on January, February, March,

April, May, and June?

[doorbell rings]

- I wonder who that could be.

- I don't know.

- Mr. Nelson?

- Yes, won't you come in.

- Thank you.

Were you just down at the Bijou?

- Well, yes, I was.

My wife and I just got
back home a moment ago.

- Were you sitting in the
front row of the loges?

- Yes, we were.

- Well, I sat next to you.

I found your wallet
between the seats.

It must have slipped
out of your pocket.

- Oh, gee, well,
thank you very much.

It's awfully nice for you to
come all the way up and deliver

this.
- Oh, that's OK.

Actually, that wasn't the
only reason I stopped by.

I know it wasn't
intentional, but you

made another little mistake.

- Now, don't tell me I
drove off in your car.

- Oh, no, no, nothing
as serious as that.

I think you will find
you have my shoes on.

- Oh!

[ending theme]

Well, good night, folks.
We'll see you again next week.

- Good night.

And remember, every day's
a holiday with Hotpoint.

- Seven days a week.

- 365 days a year.

- Every day's a
holiday with Hotpoint.

- Paula Winslowe was
seen as Mrs. Brewster,

Robert B. Williams played
the part of the policeman,

and the man with the
shoes was Hal Smith.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

This has been an ABC Television
Network presentation.