All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S04E13 The Gadget 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

- The Norwich Pharmacal Company,
famous for fine drug products,

makers of hospital-tested
Pepto-Bismol,

presents America's
favorite family comedy,

"The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And, of course, his lovely wife,
Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next
door neighbor, Carney,

is played by Don DeFore.

- As you can see, the
Lickety Split Potato Peeler

is not a novelty, but a small,
carefully designed machine

to help you in your cooking
and speed up the tedious

job of peeling potatoes.

Will you step a
little closer, please?

- Let's go, huh, Mom?

- Just a minute,
and stop tugging.

- The Lickety
Split Potato Peeler

removes the skin from the
potato with one third the waste

and in half the time required
by the use of the old fashioned

paring knife.

The Lickety Split is
simple and easy to operate.

I slide the potato
on this small shaft

and apply a rotary
movement to the handle

and the tempered steel
blades do the rest.

Lickety split, the
peeling is gone.

Would you care to
inspect it closer?

- Let's go, Mom.

- Shh!

- You'll notice there's a
little sharp point on the end

to take out the eyes.

- Take out the eyes?

- Of the potato.

- How much are they, miss?

- The price is just $1.

You'll find full
instructions for assembling

it right inside the box.

- Oh, don't you have
one already assembled?

- I'm sorry, madam.

They're sold only in the box.

They're very simple
to put together.

Your husband can do
it in a few minutes.

- Well, couldn't you sell me
the one you're demonstrating?

- It really isn't
difficult to assemble.

In fact, any child can do it.

- Well, it's taking a
chance, but I'll risk it.

- Well, this looks like a pretty
good little deal here, Mom.

- I hope it works.

The woman in the store sure
peeled potatoes fast with it.

- Can we have potatoes
for dinner tonight, Mom?

- OK.

Would you boys get the
rest of the packages

out of the car for me?

- This is a very
interesting little gadget.

- Where's the box it came in?

- Over on the sink.

Do you want me to put
it together for you?

- No, dear.
Leave it out on the workbench.

Your father can put it together.

- I'm sure I can do it.
- Yeah, I know you can.

But he likes to fool
around with those things,

so let's let him do it.

- Come on, David.

Help me with some
of the packages.

- OK, OK.

- Oh, there you are.

- Oh, hello, dear.

Where have you been?

- Oh, just downtown
buying a few things.

- Well, good for you.

Get anything interesting?

- Oh, lots of things.

A tablecloth, a set of
curtains for the boys' room,

a potato peeler, a
new pair of shoes.

Oh, wait until you see these.

- Wait a minute.

A potato peeler?
You're kidding, aren't you?

- No.

A girl was selling them
down at The Emporium.

It's very tricky little device.

Works beautifully.

- Well, does it peel anything
besides potatoes, like grapes?

- No, really.

It's a good little gadget.

She demonstrated it right there.

I saw it work.

She peeled a potato
without even touching it.

Oh, I don't doubt it.

I remember seeing Thurston
in Vaudeville once years ago.

He sawed a woman in half right
in front of the audience.

- You like those?

- Oh, yeah?

That's real nice.

- I think they're pretty, too.

- Tell me more about
the potato peeler.

Well, it wasn't
very expensive, even

if I did get stuck with it.

- Oh, the cost isn't
the point, Harriet.

It's the fact that women buy
things like this every day.

Junk boxes are filled with
these marvelous little kitchen

helpers.

You know yourself, 99% of
that stuff's never even used.

- I suppose you're right.

- You see what sells you is
the way the experts demonstrate

these things.

The quick twist of the wrist.

The casual turn of the head.

The ridiculous ease with which
the little gem turkey stuffer

drives home the dressing.

- It was the Lickety
Split Potato Peeler

and I actually saw
it peel a potato.

- Well, it was probably
a special potato

that had been peeled about
20 times before that.

There are so many ways of
doing those things, Harriet,

and they'll keep selling
these ridiculous gadgets

as long as women are
gullible enough to buy them.

- Well, it's too late now.

Just have to charge it up
to $1 worth of experience.

- I can't understand it.

You usually don't fall
for things like that.

- I guess I just lost
my head for a minute.

Anyway, what do I know about
those mechanical things?

- I know, but the name
itself is so silly.

The Lickety Split Potato Peeler.

Next thing you know, you'll
be buying a pretzel bender.

- I'm going to take the car
and run over to mother's.

Is there anything you
want from the drugstore?

- No I don't think so.

Thanks.

Oh, you better get
some gas in the car.

It's kind of low.

- OK.

Oh, and Harriet.

- Yes, dear?

- The gas tank is in the back.

There's a little pipe
with a cap on the end.

That's where you put the gas in.

- I know.

I saw it that time.

- What time?

- The time you bought
the special lock,

forgot the combination, and
had to have it filed off.

- There you are, Mrs. Nelson.

10 gallons.

- Oh, are you sure, Eddie?

The gauge hasn't moved.

- Maybe it's stuck.

Knock on the dashboard
a couple of times.

- No, the needle
still points to half.

- It looks to me like
your gauge is broken.

- Oh, I wonder how I did that.

- Maybe you didn't.

Maybe Mr. Nelson's
been working on it.

- Well, it was all
right this morning.

- Well, don't worry about it.

I can pick another one up
for you In a couple of days.

- That long?

- Are you in a big rush for it?

- Well, frankly,
I'd like to have

a new one put in before Mr.
Nelson finds out about it.

See, I've been driving the
car the last couple of days.

- Oh, I see.

Say, here's an idea.

Why don't you keep
the tank half full,

and that way your gauge
will always be right?

- Say, that's a wonderful idea.

Ordinarily I wouldn't care.

But my mechanical aptitude
is slightly in question

these days.

See, I made the mistake of
buying a Lickety Split Potato

Peeler this morning.
- Oh, did you buy one of those?

We have one.

It works like a charm.

- You mean it really
peels potatoes?

- I wouldn't know about that.

We use it back in the
shop for grinding valves.

- Thank you very much, Eddie.

Goodbye.

- OK, Mrs. Nelson.

Oh, don't forget, keep
that tank half full.

- OK.

- You can look through the
patent records in Washington

for yourself.

I'm not asking you to
take my word for it.

The Little Hotsi
Totsi Gasoline Saver

is the only device known
to mechanical science--

[SALESMAN CONTINUTES SALES PITCH
IN THE BACKGROUND]

- What's going on there, Pop?

- Well, how about that?

It's a real, old
fashioned pitch man.

Fast disappearing.

You very seldom see
those guys anymore.

- ...A small fraction of
the power of any gasoline.

Now what happens to the rest
of that power, you might ask.

Well, you know the answer.

I know the answer.

It's wasted, friends.

Squandered through the
exhaust pipes of the cars

that you are driving.

- He's a good talker.

- Sure is.

Extremely clever, too.

- I'll tell you why.

Because it was impossible.

Nature guarded this
secret so carefully

that not even our
great universities--

- See, it's the old PT
Barnum principle: "There's

a fool born every minute."

- People really buy
this stuff, huh?

- Oh, sure they do.

Just watch the
expressions on the faces

of the people in the crowd.

A lot of people are
pretty stupid, you know.

- And there's the
answer, friends.

There's the reason why
the Little Hotsi Totsi

Gasoline Saver--

- Let's move in a little closer.

- [SALESMAN CONTINUES PITCH IN
BACKGROUND] Sealed within

the precision watch-like
mechanism of the Hotsi Totsi,

cradled like the precious jewel
that it is lies a generous

capsule of this magic metal.

It's imperishable.

It's everlasting.

It's guaranteed to last the
life of your present car.

- If it's so good, why
don't the big manufacturers

put them on their cars?

- Yeah.

Go ahead and ask him, Pop.

- Let him alone, Rick.

We might ruin his pitch.

- Now, folks.

Are there any questions?

- Go ahead, Pop.

- Any one at all.

- Sir?
- That gentleman over there.

How many do you want, sir?

- Well, I just wanted
to ask you a question.

If that thing is so good,
why don't the automobile

manufacturers put
them on their cars?

- Now, there's an
intelligent question.

Would you mind stepping
up here, young man?

- Go ahead, Pop.

- Spread out, folks.

Let the professor through.

Would you mind
repeating that question?

- Well, I just thought if this
gasoline saver is so good, how

come the big automobile
manufacturers don't put them

on their cars?

- I'm glad you
asked that question.

Here is a man with a
head on his shoulders.

You're a mechanical
engineer, aren't you?

- No.
No.

- Probably a chemist.
- No.

- Well, obviously you have
native mechanical ability.

You do know machinery
pretty well?

- Well, yes.

I have a fair knowledge
of such things.

- Then you know that
gasoline is composed

of hydrogen and carbon.
- Well, yes.

Naturally.

- And you understand
you've got to separate

the hydrogen from the
carbon to get any power.

- Well, yes.

You've got to get that
carbon out of there.

- This man has a brilliant mind.

As he's just told you, the
gasoline must be separated.

The Hotsi Totsi Gas Saver
splits the gasoline in two.

That's how it
doubles your mileage.

Am I correct, sir?
- Well, yes.

That seems to add up.
It's logical.

- Now tell the folks, professor,
have you ever seen me before?

- Oh, no.

- You're a complete
stranger to me.

- Well, yes.

I just live a couple of
blocks down the street here.

- There you are, folks.
Never saw the man before.

He comes up here of his
own free will to testify.

Now, professor, I know
you've got to get back

to your engineering project.
- Well, no--

- But just tell me this.

If the gas intake
in the carburetor

is so synchronized
with the air intake,

doesn't it sound logical
that the combustion would

be much higher,
thereby increasing

the efficiency of the
piston movement resulting

in a much decreased proportion
of the fuel, namely gasoline?

- Well, that sounds logical.

- And he's an engineer, folks.

- No.

- Let's put it this
way, professor,

so the average layman
can understand.

If you use 20
gallons of gas a week

and you're able to make the
same mileage on half the gas,

how much gas do you save?

- 10 gallons.
You heard him.

You heard the
professor yourself.

10 gallons is saved.

Now tell the folks, have
I ever seen you before?

- Oh, no.

I just live a couple of
blocks down the street here.

- I still don't understand it.

How can you break gasoline?

- Sir, there's a gentleman in
the crowd who doesn't quite

understand your explanation.

If you could help
him out, professor.

- Well, the gasoline
saver splits

the carbon and the hydrogen. I
believe that was what you said,

wasn't it?

- Don't give me
the credit for it.

I'm just an uneducated man.

This miraculous invention
sells for only $5.

The Hotsi Totsi Miracle Gas
Saver with the magic metal,

double your gasoline
mileage for just $5.

That's a bargain,
isn't it, professor?

- Well, it sounds
pretty reasonable.

May I take a look
at that, please?

- Here you are, professor.

The gas saver is factory
sealed in this attractive box

with full instructions
on the inside.

Install it on your
car in five minutes

and then drive, drive, drive.

Watch the miles go by while the
little gas gauge stays right

on the mark.

It's just like driving on air.

$5.

- Oh.

- And thank you, professor, for
your scientific explanation.

- Thank you, sir.

- And tell the folks, have
I ever seen you before?

- Well, no.

I just live a couple
of blocks from here.

- Thank you, professor.

Who else would like the Hotsi
Totsi Miracle Gas Saver?

Double your gas
mileage for just $5.

This gentleman over here.

$5, sir.
Thank you.

- Did you get it, Pop?
- Yeah.

Right here.

- Anyone else for the Hotsi
Totsi Miracle Gas Saver?

- Yeah, I think it's
quite a little gadget.

- Funny name, though, isn't it?

Hotsi Totsi?

- Oh, well, that's
just a trade name.

Like Standard Oil
or General Motors.

It's funny every
once in a while,

you'll find some scientific
discovery hidden away

in an obscure corner like
this, unknown to the rest

of the world.

- Put it on just as soon
as we get home, huh, Pop?

- Oh, sure.

- Won't Mom be surprised.

- Oh, wait a minute.

Rick, maybe we'd better not
tell your mother right away.

Let's keep it as
a surprise, huh?

- Yeah, she'll be
driving the car

and won't be using any gasoline.

She won't be able
to figure it out.

- Yeah, I can hear
your mother now.

"I can't understand it,
we've been driving all day

and we haven't
used any gasoline.

There must be something
wrong with the gauge."

- Oh, have you got the--

Have you got it?
- I took it out of the box, Pop.

It's in the garage.
You going to install it now?

- Yeah.

Will you get the
hood of the car up?

And I'll get the Hotsi Totsi.

- Let's see.

"Holding the Hotsi Totsi
Gasoline Saver at a 45 degree

angle to the gas intake,
place the inner spring valve

in close juxtaposition
to the upper wing nut."

"Line up compressor
with the air intake

and attach to carburetor."

That sounds easy.

Let's see now.

Which one is the carburetor?

- Ozzie!

- Oh, would you see
what your mother wants?

- Just a minute, Mom.

Do you need any help here, Pop?

- No, thanks.

- Oh, is that Scotch
Tape you've got there?

- Yes, sir.

- Thanks.

That might come in handy.
- Dinner!

- I'll be right there.

- Carburetor.

Hmm.

[electrical sparks]

- Could have sworn that
was the carburetor.

- Hi, Harriet.

- Hi, Thorny.

- Oz around?

- Oh, he's outside somewhere.

Tell me, do I have a
worried look on my face?

- Well, not that I can see.
Why?

What happened?

- Well, it's a silly
thing, I suppose.

- Something happened to
the gas gauge on the car

while I was driving it and
I didn't tell Oz about it.

I think my conscience
is bothering me.

- Well, why tell him?

Does the gauge say empty?

- No, it registers
about half full.

- Well, that's no problem.

Just keep gas in the tank,
he'll never know the difference.

Besides, if you tell him,
you know what'll happen.

You'll never hear
the last of it.

He'll be talking about
this from now on.

It's like the time Catherine
dented the fender on our car.

Now, it really wasn't her
fault, but she made the mistake

of telling me about it and--

No, that's the wrong story.

- Well, hi, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.

What have you been doing,
making mud pies again?

- Installing a little
gadget in our car.

- I thought you might
have been drilling

for oil with your nose.

- Thorny, I've discovered
a little invention

that may conceivably
revolutionize

the entire automotive industry.

- Speaking of inventions,
I saw the darndest thing

this morning.

Why, some people
will buy anything.

- If this is leading
up to a potato peeler,

the door is right over there.

- Now, wait a minute.

Don't tell me your wife
bought a potato peeler, too?

- No, no.

I didn't say anything
about a potato peeler.

This guy was selling gasoline
savers, The Hotsi Totsi

Gasoline Saver.

- Harriet, we'll see you
a little later, dear.

- What's the matter?

- Well, Harriet is kind
of busy in there, Thorny.

- Let me finish what
I was telling you.

Oz, you should have
seen this crowd.

A bunch of silly oafs standing
around with their mouths open.

And the ridiculous line
he was handing out!

Well, nobody with an ounce of
intelligence would believe it.

- Sometimes those guys have
some pretty good things to say.

- Well, I know, Oz, but after
all, The Hotsi Totsi Gasoline

Saver.

The name itself
sounds like a gag.

People were actually
buying those things

at five bucks a throw.

He had 'em hypnotized.

- Oh, well, if they
were hypnotized,

no wonder they were buying it.

- How could anybody believe
that a little gadget

could make your car run
on half the gasoline?

- Well, see, the air
intake is synchronized

with the gas intake.

Thorny, I'm sorry, I have to
go upstairs to get dressed.

- Oh, wait a minute, Oz.

If that thing's so good,
why don't the big automobile

manufacturers put
them on their cars?

- Now, that's a very
intelligent question.

- Why, certainly.

It's the first
thing you think of.

- Yeah.

Well, I guess I better
be running along.

Catherine is waiting for me.

- See ya.

- Is anything wrong
with the car, dear?

- Oh, no, no.

It's OK.

It's just a kind
of a small thing.

- Oh, I told Mr. Crowder we'd go
out to his farm this afternoon

and pick up those
apples he promises.

We better get
started pretty soon.

- Oh, well, gee.

That's kind of a long trip.

See, I'm not too
sure of the car.

- I thought you said there
wasn't anything wrong with it.

- Well, there isn't really.

I could take it off.

- Take what off?

- Don't worry about it, dear.

You get ready.

I'll be up in just a
minute and get cleaned up.

- Well, OK.

Don't be too long now.

- No, I won't.

Gosh darned Thornberry.

- And how about that?

The motor runs fine.

- What did you expect it to do?

- Oh, well I thought that
was kind of interesting.

- I'll tell you something
else that's interesting.

If you put it in reverse, we
can back out of the driveway.

No

- I don't mean to be
curious, dear, but why

are you sitting there smiling?

- Oh, just the way
the car is running.

Nice and smooth.

We've gone nearly 30
miles and the gas gauge

hasn't even moved.

- It's still too
early to be sure,

but I may have some rather
surprising news for you.

- If you don't stop and put
some gas in the tank, dear,

I may have some surprising
news for you, too.

- Nearly 50 miles,
we're almost home.

We still haven't used any gas.

Take a look at the
gauge. it's right

where it was when we started.

- Do me a favor, let's
get some gas, huh?

- Harriet, I have a
little secret for you.

- What?

- Well, I wasn't going to
tell you, but now I'm sure.

- Sure of what?

- Well, take a good
look at the gas gauge.

- I haven't been able to
take my eyes off of it.

- We started and it's
at half full now.

- I was afraid you'd find out.

- The trouble with
people nowadays

is they have no confidence.

- Well, I was going to
tell you, but Thorny--

- The gas gauge
was at half full.

We've been driving for hours
and it's still half full.

You know what that means?

- I didn't mean to
bust it, honestly.

- All because of a little gadget
that costs $5, The Hotsi Totsi

Gasoline Saver.

- What?

- I didn't want to mention
it because you'd laugh.

People always laugh
at any new invention.

- Ozzie.
- They laughed at Fulton.

- Ozzie.

- They laughed at
the Wright brothers.

- Ozzie.

- What is it, dear?

- I'm not laughing.

- Harriet, you don't understand.

A thing like this
can be exploited.

Some go-getter gets
behind this gadget

and he can make millions.

- Ozzie.

- What is it?

- The gas gauge is broken.

- The gas gauge is broken?

Are you sure?

- Take my word for it, dear.

It's stuck at half full.

If you don't want
to do some walking,

you better pull into
the gas station.

- Yes, sir.

Oh, how do you do, Mr. Nelson?

- Hello, Dick.
Hey, fill her up, please.

- Yes, sir.

- Can you make it from there?

- Oh, that's fine.

Plenty of room.

- Harriet, I bet that pitch
man didn't even have a license.

Hotsi Totsi.

- I'm sorry, dear.

I should have told you
about the gas gauge.

- Oh, it's my own fault. I don't
see how I could be such a fool.

If this thing was any good,
wouldn't the big manufacturers

put them on their cars?

- She only took four gallons.

- Four gallons?

Harriet, did you hear that?

The gasoline gauge said
half full when we started,

we drove for hours and it
only took four gallons.

- Well?
- Well, don't you see?

It really works.

The Hotsi Totsi Gasoline
Saver really works.

- Hey, Oz.

- Thorny.

What are you doing here?

- I ran out of gas about
two miles down the road.

- Hi, Thorny.

- Well, I hate to laugh, old
boy, but it's your own fault.

What you need is a Hotsi
Totsi Gasoline Saver.

- Oz.

- I really mean it.

That little gadget you were
kidding me about really works.

Harriet and I have been
driving around all afternoon

and we haven't used
any gasoline at all.

- You know why my tank is empty?

- Well, sure.

Because you don't
own a Hotsi Totsi.

- No, because I siphoned
off my gas into your car.

- What did you do that for?

- Well, first, Harriet told
me about the broken gas gauge

and I wanted to help her out.

Second, I thought it would be a
good gag to get even with you,

you dog.

- Me?

What did I do?

- Oz, I bought a Hotsi
Totsi Gas Saver myself.

- What's that got to do with me?

- Oz, I was at the
corner at the same time.

It was your
unsolicited testimonial

that fooled me, professor.

- You want me to get you a can
of gasoline, Mr. Thornberry?

- Oh, Dick, before
you do that, would you

mind taking this Hotsi Totsi
thing off my carburetor,

please?
- Sure.

- I'll drive you down
to your car, Thorny.

Where's it parked?

- About two miles down the road.

It's all uphill coming this way.

- I never did see
one like this before.

- Let me see.
- Why?

What's the matter with it?

- They usually attach
them to the carburetor.

You've got this taped onto
to the headlight wires.

- Tell me somthing.

Has either one of you guys ever
seen a Little Hotsi Totsi Gas

Saver face to face?

- Well, why do you ask?

- Because that beautiful
piece of machinery

you have taped to the headlight
wires is my Lickety Split

Potato Peeler.

- How could I get a
potato peeler mixed up

with a gasoline saver?

Oh, that isn't
what's worrying me.

Here I've been trying to
peel potatoes all afternoon

without my driver's license.

- Hey, Pop!

- OK, Rick.
I'll be right there.

I just want to get
another cup of coffee.

- You're going to take
Rick downtown with you?

- Yeah, he wants
to buy something.

- You sure it wouldn't be better
if he went down there alone?

- Just what do you mean by that?

- Nothing.

I just wouldn't want him to
be influenced by your judgment

and fall for some
smooth sales talk.

There's no telling what
he might come home with.

- Oh, you're the one who
bought the Lickety Split Potato

Peeler.

- Well, you were the one who
bought The Little Hotsi Totsi

Gasoline Saver.

- Well, and I still say it
might have worked if we'd

have given it a fair chance.

- Oh, well, if it's so good,
why don't the big automobile

manufacturers put
them on their cars?

- You know, come to think
of it, that guy never

did answer that question.

I'll have to ask him
again next time I see him.

Next time I see him,
who am I kidding?

He's probably
skipped town by now.

- No, he was down
there this morning.

He's still operating
on the same corner.

- Well, are you sure?

- Yeah, I saw him.

- Oh.

[car horn beeps] OK, Rick.

I'll be right there.

Bye.

- Bye.

Don't buy any more Hotsi Totsis.

- Step right up, folks,
and see a demonstration

of the greatest potato
peeler in our modern age.

You've read about it
in the newspapers.

- Pop, that's the same
man we saw yesterday.

- Don't miss out on
this opportunity--

- Yeah.

- To be one of the first
in your neighborhood

to own one of these
wonderful little--

- Say, I've got to talk to him.
- It's new.

It's modern.
It's unique.

You owe it to yourself, ladies,
to try the Hotsi Totsi Potato

Peeler.

- Yes, sir.

How many do you want?

- Well, I don't want any.

I bought a Hotsi Totsi Gasoline
Saver from you yesterday.

- Sorry, bud.

No refunds.

- No, no, no.

I don't want a refund.

I just want to know why you're
not selling the gasoline

savers anymore.

- I am.

- What?

- A lady was by this
morning and told me

it worked much better
as a potato peeler.

[electrical zap]

[jingle music]

JINGLE: Every day is a
holiday with Hotpoint.

- I'm Happy Hotpoint
here to remind you

that next week your Hotpoint
dealer will bring you

the Nelsons--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky.

- You ought to see the
Hotpoint All-Electric Kitchens.

- And laundries, too, in colors.

- Your Hotpoint dealer will
be glad to show them to you.

- Believe me.

Every day is a
holiday with Hotpoint.

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

has been brought to you by
the Norwich Pharmacal Company,

famous for fine drug products,
makers of hospital-tested

Pepto-Bismol, America's leading
remedy for the relief of upset

stomach.

[theme music]

- How can we make America
a better place to live?

First, clean up our slums.

Second, keep up our own homes.

To find out how
you can help, write

to ACTION for a free booklet.

That's ACTION, Box 20, Radio
City Station, New York 20,

New York.

- This has been an
ABC Television Network

presentation.